the mister is a terrible book
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- čas přidán 8. 12. 2022
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Just for the record, I also commissioned Rachel to read, "Kissing the Corona Virus Series" & "Handbook for Mortals" 😂
LMAO DONT REMIND ME I’m staring at handbook for mortals on my kindle app like 🤢
That’s evil. Good job!
@@ReadswithRachel Do ittttt! That book is a mess from what I've heard and I need you to tip it to shreds. Christopher doing "the lords" work.
The legend christopher shows up.
Christopher, buddy, why have you chosen violence against Rachel? 🤣
I’m dying laughing at the piano scenes because Robert Patterson also plays piano, and since 50 Shades is just a Twilight fic, you cannot convince me those two things aren’t connected.
Oh shit you’re right 🤣
I am also convinced it's also just a way to describe a person's fingers.
I read far too much AU Twilight fanfic in my youth, but I can clearly see the characters being recycled here, whatever James might claim.
Maxi-pad is Edward (obvs)
The widow is Rosalie (beautiful but distant, and a bit mercenary)
The dead brother is probably Emmett
The soldier friend is definitely Jasper
I think there's a assistant/friend character who buys clothes for Alessia, who is shopaholic cliché Alice.
This is another Twilight fanfic, she just filed the serial numbers off with a bit more diligence this time.
Oh it most definitely is. Fun fact: douchbag MC is related to other douchbag (Christian Grey) in 50SoG. And douchbag MC has a room that’s always locked and never explained what’s in it so I can only imagine it’s a kinky dungeon room like Christian Grey has.
@@chrishedlund5751 If it were sapphic it would at least be kinda funny
as an albanian…. what did my country do to deserve getting dragged into this 😭
@@whiteraven562 HELPP SHDJDJFJ
Oooof
Idk if you have read the book but I flat out laughed when Alessya was somehow impressed by a credit card. JFC.
@@eneyavorodecky i haven’t but that’s so funny to me. i always find it hilarious when authors think that smaller developing countries have no knowledge of western technology and practices or stuff like that. credit and debit cards are used almost everywhere in albania, like yeah there are rural areas or smaller stores where it’s more normal/practical to pay in cash but otherwise, people use cards at the mall, in restaurants, etc. also the spelling of her name is funny too bc the albanian language differs from english where a word is spelled differently than how it’s pronounced, albanian names are spelled pretty much the same as how they sound phonetically, so there would be no Y to her name (and if there was, it wouldn’t be pronounced the way english speakers pronounce it - in albanian, Y is considered a vowel.) so the accurate spelling of her name would be Alesia instead of Alessya. it’s just funny that the author clearly didn’t even bother doing the bare minimum research bc she could’ve figured out stuff like this through a basic google search 💀
Krimson Rogue also critiqued this pile of manure and he did some research. James visited Albania and hated the experience. Like the patriarchy was strong in Albania. Okay. Fine. But that's no reason to hate.
So we have an Albanian immigrant here, and a Polish immigrant in that 365 Days BS. Is this a coincidence, or there is a trend in erotica featuring Eastern European women in abusive relationships with Western European men?
Also, s3x trafficking in Albania is a real and very serious issue. Who in their right mind would use this as a cheap plot point? It feels so disrespectful for no reason.
I don't think it's necessarily a trend in Western writing - after all, 365 days was written by a Polish author.
But I'm hoping it's not going to become one - that would be worrying 😬
you just know the guy in this book's dj set is entirely made up of like, the chainsmokers and imagine dragons
This wins best comment 🎖️
Omg 😂😂
my favorite part about this book is it takes place in the same universe as 50 shades and nobody ever mentions it because to mention it you would have to remember that christian's mother's maiden name is the same as the protagonist of this book and she has family in london which i only remember because i made the mistake of doing my college thesis on fifty shades of grey and now it's all just burned into my mind.
Ohhhhh, the lore! 😂
Please if I'm allowed to confirm it once more, did you genuinely did thesis on E L James' work? If so, hats off to you. I am closing to the time to do my thesis as well and boy! Was it truly hard for me to read it. (I am generally talking about erotica not the style).
@@sylviagodsmith6957 it was about the position of anastasia steele as a 19th century heroine and why it doesn't work because she acts like she can't escape her circumstances like tess of the d'ubervilles when at several points christian literally is like "hello? you have the power here?" but yeah. i did, in fact, write my essay on 50 shades and now my friends sometimes give me stupid 50 shades merch and i own a signed copy of freed because it's funny.
@@aiplusyou oh, I understand now. Thank you for elaborating it😊👍
The whole time I just keep yelling “How does she have no money if she’s working for him is he not paying her?!?!” 😭🤯🤬
Every day I’m reminded how great of a decision it was for me to not have read the 50 shades books. I remember saying to my cousin who wanted me to read them “I grew up on the internet I’ve read enough anime smut to last a lifetime it’s nothing I haven’t read before” and this was before I knew it started off as fanfiction lol
Why are the sex traffickers so obsessed with getting back one woman? Would they really stalk a single woman that got away from them in real life? Because it sounds like it would be easier to just cut their losses and go after an easier target.
Because “drama!!!!”
And James doesn’t care enough about trafficking beyond giving her heroine more angst to actually think hard about it. If she did, it wouldn’t even be in the book.
Well, it would've made sense if she was actually going to go to police and tried to prevent them from trafficking more women. Although they would've just tried to kill her. And it actually sounds like a good plot with proactive heroine and possible message against human trafficking, so James couldn't do that
Actually, James just could have gone with the enraged 'fiancee' and his relatives, and even her relatives are looking for her and Maxim spends most of the novel trying to get the truth out of Alessia due to miscommunication and the fact that she messed up her visa and was trying to get it together and run off to Canada . . . or something like that. So the two ideas didn't need to be used to put Alessia in a lot of trouble.
The full on SpongeBob sex scene LMFAO. Dominic Noble read this full scene out and I was dying from laughing at the absurdity of it all lol.
I’ll never see SpongeBob the same
Favourite quote "you know what makes me super unhorny? Toxic masculinity" 🤣🤣
This is great for me as I’ve watched Dominic Noble’s live stream reading of The Mister several times and it’s hilarious. I highly recommend checking it out as there’s stuff that’s not even mentioned in this video like the creepy way Maxim talks about his mother.
Poor Dom, he's put himself through so much for us
Didn’t you love the bit about Alessia sucking her top lip being sexy and Dom trying out the different ways you can actually suck your lip, none of which are anything but really odd looking?
Dominic Noble also introduced me to this travesty. Let's not forget the time all of Maxim's friends wound up in his apartment in their underwear, with no explanation whatsoever.
He's called the Dom but he's the one suffering in those live streams...and we love it.
The fact that all the evil Albanians conveniently show up when Earl DJ is AWOL has me imagining they're all subscribed to some updates Twitter, getting push notifications when he's out of certain radius of the house
I went onto this book’s goodreads page and Colleen Hoover gave it five stars so that’s not surprising
I'm not sure whether this Christopher person is my hero or my nemesis.
Wait, wait, hold on. Christopher commissioned you to read The Mister *and* After???? Goddamn, are they trying to hurt you on purpose?
This books sounds like an absolute slough to get through. Just absolutely overbearing and melodramatic. I am curious to know how the sex scenes were written, would have like to hear some excerpts, but it sounds like you’ve been through enough.
For After, I wonder if you would also do a reaction video to the trailer of the movie version of it.
Anyways, thank you so much for your hard work! This was quite the wild ride of a video. Please give yourself and your brain cells the much needed rest.
“Girl, listen, this is the best news you could have gotten about him” and “mayonnaise colored man” convinced me to subscribe. Thank you for the laugh today. ❤
Thanks for being here!
Yayyy! A new video :D I would love to hear your thoughts on Elisabeth Finch in another video! She used to be a writer for Grey's Anatomy, but she spent years lying about having cancer (which was even incorporated into a storyline on the show) and she lied about her brother dying from cancer (he's alive in Florida). Her wife was actually the one who told everyone the truth, and it's a crazy story. I know you usually cover book authors, but you might find this case interesting too. And I don't see other CZcamsrs really talking about it yet
I’ll look into it!
I would also like to see this honestly !
I think the reason people like to commission you to read garbage books is because you criticize these books through a feminist lens and that’s really refreshing to see ❤
I watched videos for this by Dominic "The Dom" Noble. He said that EL James is pretty much inserting herself into her stories, not as the woman... but as the MAN. She sees herself as the dominant man, wanting to control the women.
Dan Olsen reached a similar conclusion
Can romance authors (and tbh all authors) please just do research on the shit they’re writing about
😭 you know it takes so much time and effort for us writers to properly research things… then it’s so sad these authors shit on everything and still make bank. Please support good indie-authors… my debut series for instance is Blood Moon: Book 1 of the Crescent Crown Saga. There are many of us out here undiscovered trying our best to get the setting of our novels right.
I haven’t even been to New Orleans yet… but I meticulously referenced maps and images to recreate the city in my novels. It’s just offensive to shit all over Albania bc she can’t even do a simple Google search on wine production :/
E.L. James claims she has visited Albania. I refuse to believe it.
Omg I lost it at "SpongeBob pajamas" 😂😂😂
I'm so sorry you had to read this. James writes like she's an alien who's never met an actual human or had s-x but she wants to convince us all that she is both a real person and has had lots of adult fun time...
EL claims she has visited Albania. I have no explanation for her writing... uuugh... style.
The crack about "The Alabama of Albania." was amazing and earned a subscribe.
In War and Peace, Anatole is an antagonistic character who tries to manipulate and elope with Natasha Rostova but that is a literary reference I don't want to give E.L. James credit for
omg yeah
also i don't wanna give e.l. james credit for the literary reference of the main dude's surname (dr. trevelyan was a client of sherlock holmes in the story "the resident patient", and deserves SO much better than any association w/ a character like maxipad thickbasket 😒 )
I feel weird about the virginity thing especially because of how big of a deal EL James made virginty in 50 shades too (its been a while since I read it but I remember being so uncomfortable with it)
Go figure… and it’s always a big deal for the woman but not the man! My first adult series my characters have already had sex with other partners before they find each other… that’s no big deal. I also have a nontrad family where the love interest is the godmother/guardian to her deceased friend’s daughter which… became more real for me after my own sister in law passed away and my husband and I raised her son. It’s Blood Moon: Crescent Crown Saga if you’re interested. It’s got magical action and romance. 🌙
It's not a problem for a female character to be a virgin, but many authors make it so weird. It's always like "oh, I'm such a pure, innocent virgin, I don't know anything about sex". That can make sense in some contexts, but c'mon, they're adult women, not children.
The worst part of this book is the sex trafficking plot tbh. From all I’ve seen from the reviews I’ve seen on this book it’s not done well at all and personally I feel like the sex trafficking victim being the main character isn’t a good look. I feel like the consent can only be incredibly grey when she’s already being trafficked so idk it freaks me out.
It also feels very… off-putting to put something that serious into what’s supposed to be a fun, cheeky romance. I’m not saying that it can’t be done, but it would require skill and tact that James does not have.
@@animeotaku307 I feel like if you were gonna put that topic in there ( for some reason idk why you would do that in an erotica) you’d need it to be the slow burn to end all slow burns ngl. Have the character that is the victim go through the process of getting through their trauma, go to counseling, get their life established again etc. then and only then can the relationship begin cause otherwise it feels kinda exploitative to put it lightly.
I went to a book sale of second hand books last week and the AMOUNT of books there which I’ve seen Rachel rant about… it made me giggle behind my mask every time I saw one!
oh the first person/third person thing makes me so mad bc jonathan stroud does that in the bartimaeus trilogy and it's GREAT, it's an incredibly effective way to show that bartimaeus thinks differently from the human characters by having him talk directly to the audience and be aware that he's telling a story when they're just living their lives, so the idea of doing it for no reason at all... 😭 this can be a really great storytelling tool if you're purposeful about it but you can't just throw it in at random and expect it to do something?
Exactly!
This was also the funniest thing I’ve ever seen thank you. I didn’t know she wrote anything after Fifty Shades Darker scary to think
Every time I hear about this book, I become more and more convinced this was EL James’ poorly conceived attempt to pay tribute to classic, often problematic historical romances, hence why Maxim had to be a lord. The difference being these authors either had self-awareness (and may have grown further in their recognition of the problematic dynamics since) and/or are at least competent writers. And it checks out that EL James doesn’t really have original ideas, since her first series was Twilight inspired, while also cashing in on the billionaire craze that was a Thing in romance at the time (still is, in some ways, although the likes of Trump and Musk have killed it for many people).
Also the movie the secretary.
She plagiarized Poldark. HEAVILY. That is all.
@@eneyavorodecky Apparently, this book was actually based (read: “she just changed the names”) on a Poldark fanfiction she wrote called Safe Haven.
@@animeotaku307 Jenny Trout called it I think on chapter 2. 😂😂😂 Damn.
Every time she brings up the nod=no thing i felt like she was going to have him assault her Or smthng. This whole book has noxious fumes.
OMG okay, look…….I was chuckling and all that all along here, and then you said IT'S MUSIC TO MY DICK and I absolutely freaking LOST IT. I legit almost fell off my sofa, I was laughing so damn hard. I am so completely using that line anytime someone tells me something good.
Why am I not surprised....EL James didn't bother to research before writing this.
The fact that this book is terrible Poldark fanfic is hilarious.
WHAT. omg
@@alexintheabstract Yup. He screws around with this his late brother's widow.
He falls in love with his maid. Just like Poldark does with Demelza.
And he also owns the mines of Cornwall just like Poldark.
lol omfg yeah it is just awful poldark fic, with some inspiration from the movie 'taken' most likely (~eeeevil~ albanians sex-trafficking the main girl, then getting their shit wrecked by the main dude for doing so)
Omg after by Anna todd you are definitely going to hate that book 😬
The unhinged energy of this entire video is a work of art.
Do you think EL James is on some kind of list? Like they have to declare who they are when they move anywhere?
When he went. To the museum. When he's supposed to be rescuing her. What was the point of writing it that way?! She wrote this thing like, "he's running to save her BUT he needs to wait for these guides." Okay, but why?! This is fiction! WHY NOT WRITE IT SO HE DOESN'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE GUIDES?! HOW IS THE HERO JUST STOPPING HIS RESCUE AND TELLING US, "OH, I WENT TO THIS MUSEUM, HERE'S SOME HISTORY ABOUT ALBANIA!"?!
I felt like there was a gas leak in my home.
Perfect timing!
I know EL James wanted us to picture someone debonair and dashingly handsome. However. Because she chose to make him a part-time DJ (which somehow feels even more pathetic than a full time DJ, because at least one of them has a full time job), I have made the executive decision to imagine someone who looks like Riff Raff instead. It has made your retelling of this story just that much more delightful.
i am screaming 😂😂😂 thank you for suffering thru this and blessing us with this video ❤ maybe the most thankful ive ever been for E.L. James existing
oh god the twilight fanfic author is trying to write original books
There actually is a 'biologically male' smell, but it's something of a potent stank, and not at all 'clean'. It's called androstenone, which can be detected in men's armpits, the saliva of male pigs, and truffle mushrooms. It's that smell that enables pigs and dogs to sniff out truffles, and it's really divisive in humans. Around 25% of people can't smell it at all, and 40% are hypersensitive to it, often to the point of finding it off-putting.
It sounds like it could be the source marital for a PassionFlix movie
This is one of the worst books I've ever read for every reason you mentioned. This book did not need to be over 500 pages. Pages of Maxim's nonsense and saying "f**k a duck" constantly (maybe I'm exaggerating but it felt that way).
Had no idea about the audiobook music and issues because I read the ebook, but there goes me thinking this would have been easier listening to. Nope. 😳
Excellent summary and video.
I had the misfortune of reading the first Fifty Shades book and tapping out thirty pages into the second one. As such, I thank you wholeheartedly for reading E.L. James’s books so the rest of us don’t have to. You’ve got some serious guts for doing that. I hope those therapy bills aren’t hitting your bank account too hard. But as someone who’s never read The Mister a day in my life, I have to know…is there a lot of lip-biting? There was a fuck ton of it in the Fifty Shades saga. So. Much. Lip-biting. UGH!
Ooooooh book review time!! I’ve seen a few other reviews, can’t wait to see your thoughts on this
I love how you do ur hair and makeup!!!
Thank you!
just clicked play and just wanna say i love your lip makeup in this video lol
EL seems to have a bone to pick with Albenia.
"Just make it a porn" is pretty much the way I think of all E. L. James books.
Lol! Girl you kill me!!! 🤣🤣🤣
I remember hearing this was a repurposed Poldark fanfic - but I don't know enough about Poldark or EL James' fanfic to confirm 😅
That would make sense as someone who is at least a little familiar with Poldark. I didn't make the connection when I was reading it. (And I'd rather not try to reread it to confirm.)
@@t.a.summers who is poldark ??
@@marwaessaadi Poldark is a series starring Aiden Turner that airs on BBC. Turner plays a Captain who returns home from the American Revolutionary War, finds his family life has changed and the series follows him through a number of different life upheavals, to say without spoiling it. Poldark does have a romance with his maid, so it would not surprise me if The Mister is Poldark fanfic.
@@EleiyaUmei thank you so much !
@@t.a.summers ohhhh i see thank you !!!
I haven’t watched more than a few minutes yet, but what is the eyeshadow you’re wearing??? It’s lovely
I wish they should hire good editors who don't lie to them and actually cut terrible things out
The pained "okay" at 10:04 obliterates me 🤣
Listening to the blurb, it sounds like EL James wanted to go for a Jane Austen type novel but realised she didn't have the knowledge and or didn't want to research so she just swerved into even more mediocrity?
The way I giggled the whole way through this 🤣🤣🤣
This is the most hilarious review. Never change. I love u and ur takes.
I thought you were Stanzi for a quick second
good lord the face i made at that synopsis, can someone please stop el james from writing im begging you
I would pay good money for a Rachel x Dominic Noble collab. Or like a conversation lol.
im very tempted to commission you to read the magical girl-based book im writing whenever its finished, im not an expert author or anything, but i like magical girls and writing is fun. maybe someday-
His name is Maxim and he's a rich sometimes dj? AKA the guy my early 20s self would've thought was edgy and sexy but now realizes is a huge red flag.
Could you do a video on your favorite diverse recs or fav books that taught you history, please? :)
I discuss books that taught me history here!
czcams.com/video/w250q2kanFw/video.html
And
czcams.com/video/xjXXOZp3DX8/video.html
I also have a playlist called books I actually like and many of the books are diverse: czcams.com/play/PL8iTZglTD3CWI8XGMCnc32it6h3q_ZDJr.html
I've never heard of this book, and while I don't want to read it, at the same time...
This is great
This book haunts my life
This seems even more sick and twisted than the Fifty Shades series😂
When I read this book
. It was a train wreck. Took me so long to finish.
I have to bring it up but "The Mister" is fanfic of "Poldark", iirc the first arc of it
i had no idea she had more works other than the 50 shades and bruh, its unnecessary LOL
TREVELYAN?????? is this dragon age fic
Wait...she wrote another book? Lol I thought she was like "old new"
Well, she didn’t just write Twilight fanfic. She also wrote Poldark fanfic!
Ooph! So sorry you had to read this! I hate when books use nonstop name brands. That is the fastest way to date your book.
When I write I like to keep the time period ambiguous. Instead of iPhone, I say cell phone, for example.
I heard this was Poldark/Demelza fanfic.
Opened up my Goodreads to look at the synopsis of this book, and the first thing I saw was a 5 star review from Colleen Hoover. So, yeah… immediate red flag
I'm Emo thanks to E.L. James... 💀
Yeah, that joke is too edgy, I'm sorry. 😔
I've seen so many great takedowns of this book and I'm still not tired of them!
I really enjoyed this review even though I felt for you 😂
I am surprised you didn't mention that she clearly plagiarized Poldark 😂
I had no idea until someone else mentioned it here!
@@ReadswithRachel I have apparently a very wrong memory that you have mentioned that you have read it/watched the show. I am clearly wrong. Ooops. Sorry. :)
i saw dominic nobles readings + reviews over the past two days and recently i had a dream that Alessia ran away from Maxim and traffickers to the British countryside to a farm where she met a country boy and they had a genuine connection and they started dating, and considering Maxim technically owned that farm (cuz the whole farming investment thing), they had to fend him off from abusing his power and getting the farm sold off to a wealthy CEO that skinned baby cows for their hide or whatever. It was a vaguely environmentalist farmer boy x brown runaway girl porno dream, that ended in the farmer boy gaining full custody of the farm, and him and Alessia living happily ever after running the farm and having twin girls. Also she murdered Antoli in a form that was very similar to Pearl murdering Mitzi in Pearl, that and her farmer bf threatened to off Maxim with a pitchfork.
This book sounds almost like her 50 Shades books, which were a slog. I thought there would be a dope ending to the series but nope.
Keep up the good work!
This sounds like a book the character Brent from 'The Good Place' would write. It's like a half inch away from "Scarlett Pakistan" levels of nonsense.
What a ride 🤣
So… it’s basically just British 50 Shades? 😂
Oh, no. The default name for a player character in a video game I love is Maxwell Trevelyan. I have to forget this book exists.
While I'm sorry you had to sit through this (I can't handle GOOD audiobooks with GOOD narrators, much less this sh!t), I appreciate the content. Cheers
I feel like Christopher is out here doing the Lord's work for us, bringing us this primo content 🤣
Also this sounds like the worst conservative white woman dream I've ever heard 😆
Next weeks video on After is brought to you by Christopher 🤣
@@ReadswithRachel Excellent, then I'm hella excited 😁
Fifty Shades of Grey was my first introduction to erotica (?), I was 18 I think and my jaw was on the floor 99% of the time while reading all three books. I kept thinking "this woman is so stupid" in reference to Ana.
Could you do the fine print and terms and conditions by Lauren asher?
I hate if there is point of views and they are written in first person, and then another in third person. It takes me out of the story. If you choose first person for the first character, they should all be. One of the few times I can see it as an exception is if they're watching a memory or something. I was never planning to read this, but I'm thankful for reviews like yours. I figured it was just another Ana and Christian story but with characters given the title. I won't be reading this after watching this for sure.
The book tea is always scorching hot coming from you.
I came here to have a fun time hearing Rachel diss E.L James and instead I got cursed with the knowledge that she's named her new protag "Max Trevelyan" which means E.L James could be a Dragon Age fan, bc what r the chances 😭 (unless she saw someone's OC somewhere n stole it idek)
Trevelyan is a fancy-sounding surname, is all. That’s why she used it. I hope…
Dear Lord, please let the “new mlm novel” she wants to write not be a modern AU involving Dorian. My guy has been through too much crap to deserve being subjected to her writing.
I'm a deep sleeper but i'm pretty sur i would wake up if someone tried to make out with me.
Alessia? Trevelyan? Is EL a gamer? Lmao
He may be The Mister, but he’s a Sadist, not a Dom 😂😂😂😂
11:19 I'm sorry, engish isn't my first language, so this might be wrong, but I thought "unman me" had a sort of double meaning? Am I thinking of something else?
Can someone please recommend mature fantasy/other genra books that r well written. I keep reading badly written books
I’m dead 😂😂
☠️
Not going to lie, when you said "and currently he's f*cking his dead brother's wife", I really had my breath held in horrified anticipation that it would end before you specified "wife" 🥲 I've got low expectations for EL James apparently.