Ask Dr. Tony - Gender Dysphoria
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- čas přidán 28. 08. 2024
- Subjects Addressed in this Gender Dysphoria "deep dive" (single subject) Episode:
What is it? - Starts at 0:49
What Does Gender Dysphoria Feel Like? - Starts at 2:02
What Might Be the Cause? Role Fulfillment? Sexual Attraction? - Starts at 3:14
How Should Parents Respond to a Child Experiencing Gender Dysphoria? - Starts at 7:08
How Should Parents Discuss Gender Dysphoria with Family? - Starts at 8:52
Advice for those Experiencing Gender Dysphoria - Starts at 10:22
We're hoping to post up to four new "Ask Dr. Tony" programs a year. If you'd like to submit a question, please fill out the "Question Form" found at www.autismhangout.com. Due to the high number of questions received, we may not be able to include them all.
10/23/18 - Previous questions to Dr. Attwood have been incorporated into a book titled "Ask Dr. Tony", published by Future Horizons and is now available at a book store near you (or online).
A very good explanation of gender dysphoria. Thank you also for the support. I began my transition male to female 5 years ago while doing my honors year at uni. Ten years ago a friend suggested I had an ASD but the GP I saw dismissed this. I was studying Naturopathy at uni at the time and she believed I would not be at uni with an ASD. I was diagnosed with an ASD, ADD. I would like to have known that when I knew I was very different to my peers there was a real reason for it. Would I have transitioned if I'd had that knowledge? I don't know. I do know I have never been so comfortable with myself. I do not pass as female and I do more blokey things than when I was a bloke. I would never go back because even when I am unhappy/sad I am always content with who I am.
I wish you all the 🤞 and happiness
Finn Gratton's book - pretty deep.
I transitioned 25 years ago. There is no undoing the effects of hormones or surgery. 25 years ago I asked fair questions. "Can't I just live asexual, or homosexual? So much cheaper and less stressful. Why do that to yourself?" I wasn't a masochist nor did I have body dysmorphia. Went through all the HBS strictest standards, 3 phd's said I was appropriate...THAT is because I was. They ruled out an Axis II with two letters over 2 years...
Maybe nobody remembers how strict the measures were under HBS? I do. I'm so old I had a friend whose doctor was Harry Benjamin.
I was realistic b/c in my day under HBS, I was paying the bill, not insurance...I needed to be sure. No moaning about how someone suggested or tricked me or influenced me. It was on ME that I needed to transition. It was all me that sought this out.
Because I had to do it. No regrets. Autism though? Undiagnosed, always there...right under the surface...undiagnosed until I was fired from a profession of 26 years and Dr. Atwood nailed my teenager biological female identified male past.
Supports were pulled out from under me recently through death, divorce, job loss... I will be homeless in my 50's...but I have no regrets for my gender transition at all. I just don't see how I will live on the street. Not even pain of hunger motivates me to move anymore. My psychiatrist who started seeing me through losses of family, friends, divorce, he diagnosed ASD after my job loss of 26 years... Then he died.
Now, I am told "You can't have ASD, because it needed to be diagnosed before 18." You have an Axis II. "But I don't regret my surgeries." You can't judge that as an Axis II. "What about the 3 PhD's and two letters for surgery over two years under HBS?" They were wrong too. "What about the psychiatrist and two PhD's who have seen me who point to ASD since all my supports have been pulled out?." They are wrong too... "What about my 79 year old dad who tried to affirm to you that social communications, sensory and higher executive function problems were there?" You weren't severely handicap enough to qualify. All I really need is a bit of extra support. I failed a cognition test a few months back. Short term memory and higher executive function have always been off. Didn't intentionally miss the questions...just could not think. I had to get a new psychiatrist after my old one died. "All the young autistics I know were all diagnosed before 18 and they all hold a job." I have noted how I let people treat me, and I just let it be. There is nothing to do to defend myself... If I die tomorrow, it won't be with any regrets for my transition (ten surgeries 26 very hard hours)...that is how wrong the medical community is to claim I am an Axis II. Maybe it isn't autism. Maybe it is just depression, severe anxiety, ADHD, chronic insomnia, GI problems, weird neurological postures, sensory and communications deficits and problems with higher executive function...but not autism. I would NOT go back to how it was before not for all the gold on earth. I am a proud post op FTM. If you do the transition thing...be sure. Be ready for a lot of ignorance if you are trans autistic. Best to all of you...
The trouble is....
All your life , someone had to help you make decisions about YOUR OWN BODY.
You weren’t a stroke victim/ paralyzed person/ born with no limbs, etc.
So now,
You are STILL claiming handicap status and crying for help.
A dog that has been spayed or neutered can still have happy moments.
WITH a good master/ owner.
Is that too much to ask for you?
It seems like you’re still looking for that “ good owner”.
Because without one, you’re just a stray or foster pet.
Nobody seeks out a partner who wants to be a pet.
Nobody hires stray people.
Nobody trusts people who can’t make decisions on their own, especially when they don’t even take care of the body they have.
Ok,
You need psychiatric help.
Your bodily functions are not stopping you from doing activities of daily living, like getting dressed, staying clean , eating , etc.
So just say that.
You had a mental problem.
You did not choose to sort it out by yourself, and act on your own decisions about resolving your life issues.
You asked for help, help, help, help , help help, help ......ad infinitum.
Just tell it like it is.
You are mentally unstable.
Period.
wow, sad story .
i was diagnosed with Autism in my very late 20s.haveing ADHD also and general anxiety. my whole life i went though alot or stress and bullying. i was never girl enough in society. i was cast out from my own female peers. I am a girl but i dont feel like i understand female society and language and i truly dont understand women, they confuse me and bully me. i always played with my brother and male family members as i was a tom boy and i could relate to boys more naturally. but as i age i see it more that. I do have Dysphoria and am unsure how to fully see my self. Demi-girl or so on. It is very confusing i am a women and i love men but im not considered femenin enough in society for men to want to start a relationship. Im 30 and have been in abusive relationships all my life, i see now due to my Autism people took advantage of it. im happy im not alone in feeling and dealing with gender dysphoria. :)
Yeah you're right. My abusive mother takes advantage of my autistic father so I think that that might be quite common.
l b omg I’m very sorry :(
@@RussBlake80 thank you :)
I have ASD (self-identified) and. am a trans guy. Transition has been good. for me, but I never have/will consider myself a "typical male", and am okay with this. But testosterone has made me feel more comfortable in body than I ever felt before. Since I transitioned also met way more ASD people. There seems to be more of a relationship than I think he is recognizing. I really like him though. Always wondered if he is on the spectrum, because he seems to get it.
I'm not macho, I'm not interested in sport, I'm not interested in bullying + teasing, I'm compassionate, I'm kind. But the right of men so to be is important, + important to identify with, + I never saw any greater compassion in girls. Girls have greater liberty to be compassionate, but they don't use it, they are no more compassionate at all in fact.
One more thing to those with ASD. Personally I did not tolerate the "experimental phase" of all the lower surgeries as well as others...who probably didn't have ASD...not that I do. I had 10. I was ok as long as I researched what would be done, recovery time, finances, but mine were definitely done during the "experimental phase" and complications arose. I did not deal with complications well. I don't regret what I had done though...If my implant ruptures I would like it replaced as it would be fairly simple at this stage...of course now, that might be blocked because of a new Axis II diagnosis.
Dont give up hope.Sign up with Vocational Rehab in your state.
Are there any books about gender dysphoria and autism? As Dr. Tony said there are a lot with both themes going to their lives like myself. As socialworker I also want to have something in hand, when telling things to people.
There's no wrong way to be male or female. Most men and women share certain characteristics, but that doesn't mean everyone has to be the same. There is no evidence that medical transition helps and tons of evidence that it does a great deal of harm.
Teared up at the end. Bless him
Me too.
If you want to go deep let's do it. I see the individual self as having both male and female aspects. The conscious ego adopts the biological sexes gender persona. At the same time it confines its opposite gendered persona in the subconscious. In effect this splits the personality apart. Conscious mind possesses verbal language and awareness. The partner in the subconscious communicates via symbolic imagery and feelings. The confined and ignored aspect pushes its discontent into the conscious mind where it is interpreted as the need to change the gender. Hence GD. Simple really!
@@jellyfishi_ sex is real and unchangeable! gender is whatever! humans don't need to fit into stereotypes!
How much is based on the family dysfunction and the families not wanting feminine boys and boys who are also artistic and creative and not macho and into sports and prefer girls company?
I sit right in the middle of this part of the human condition. I value my male equipment and will never harm it. Yet I have cultivated a complete female erotic response to my male equipment. I have imported a much valued female persona out of pure desire. I use female imagery I have observed daily to decorate my female self.
Dear Dr Tony, (I doubt you will answer but anyway)
I find your knowledge and factual evidence surrounding autism as very useful and intriguing. This video especially I think has brought a whole new dimension into the discussion around transgender issues. And it's about time too as there's been so little research on it.
I'm not trans, but I am bisexual. This video on the origins of some gender dysphoria instances blew my mind, and I was wondering what you'd have to say about the origins of sexuality. See, a lot of trans people and trans activists would have called your kind of talk pseudoscience if you didn't have evidence for it. And I was just wondering what you'd have to say about the cause of homosexuality and bisexuality, (or if we're all just bisexual and denying it).
Hi, the pioneer researcher for studying the biological underpinnings of orientation is Dr. LeVey:
LeVay S. A difference in hypothalamic structure between heterosexual and homosexual men. Science. 1991 Aug 30;253(5023):1034-7. doi: 10.1126/science.1887219. PMID: 1887219.
Gender is not a personal decision. That's manichean nonsense.
Doctor Tony, you got me in a real fix. I blame YOU. Over two decades in after surgery no one knew. I live in stealth. I had a meltdown at work when productivity expectations rose. The corporate bar had continued to rise on my job and I FINALLY couldn't make the new levels. Got it in writing why. It had to do with not being able to multi task, adapt to changing schedules, juggling 3 people at once. I didn't know if I would be able to make my rent payment. I go to a medical doctor and requested an ASD referral. She insisted I be admitted to a psychiatric hospital Immediately so the doctors could convince me I had a personality disorder. I refused. I was not a danger to myself. She said she was the doctor and having ASD at my age was impossible. She said I would become a danger to myself once I realized my surgeries had been a mistake because of the personality disorder. I had been watching your videos and asking myself a lot of questions and I just wanted an ASD referral. I had been approved for surgery over 20 years ago and have no regrets. She claimed I had a medical history of personality disorder. That wasn't true either. Dr. Tony, now I have an Axis II instead of an Axis I. That disqualifies me from having my implant replaced when it ruptures. One has already ruptured and I am on borrowed time. So thanks for nothing Dr Tony.
very best german Druck SKAM part 3
Is not Gender Euphoria the condition that the majority in society now suffer from, and that there is a crying need to address, a condition that our societies and cultures have rendered pathological, as psychosis incurred through the groupthink that fuels the euphoria that verges on homoemotionality where the dissociation between the genders means that gender allegiance, homogeneity and affinity become synonymous within undifferentiated non-dual condition of submersion and alignment to the point where individuals reach an ersatz sense of spiritual awakening through the said group psychosis because their individual existence is dissolved into a gestalt of non-being existential loss of boundaries and fusion with the representatives of their own gender? It's not sexual but metaphysical, taking people into a space where group psychosis promises the type of euphoria once provided by communal worship. In a godless existence, people turn to existential ideation of all that provides an echo in the space or on the pew the soul once occupied?
A *yes* or *no* will suffice. Just asking : );
So all this hyperfocussing on Gender Dysphoria, whilst selectively of absolute pertinence and relevance to certain individuals, is actually producing a solution to a phenomenon, this solution leaving the actual challenge unaddressed. Namely, that because the amorphous consciousness field we all seem held in the spell of is leaving people without any real sense of who they are, funneling consciousness, spirit and mind through constant affirmations and markers of individual reality through biological and material identity that are mass-produced on altars of ideating mantras that are become a form of currency and soul-trafficking bartering for a crust of worthiness to prop up the vestiges of what was once the self-esteem due to humans simply by signing up for our collective identity as human beings beholden to no other definitions, are we to be in fact free existentially, whatever modern world may require from one to justify our existence.
For our identity, whether familial, gender-defined, occupational, financial, political, sexual, religious, dietary, national, cultural, sartorial, educational, professional, socioeconomic, physical, vital statistical, social, consumeristical and even genetic has little and oftentimes nothing to do with WHO you actually are. At all.
And yet identifying (with) who one/the other is was sold to us as part of the package sold to us as Freedom; the freedom to be sovereign individuals. Yet what we bought into was a chimera. For we got sold into identity slavery precisely that entities abscond with our sovereignty, knowing full well that the more a person is sold on their identity, the greater the chances that they have not a clue who they are.
Gender Dysphoria is real, don't get me wrong. But WHY is it so real, and for so many different reasons?
It may be useful then to first answer the question as to why there is so much Gender Euphoria at large today, and what to do about that. For where Gender Dysphoria is a pragmatic and rational solution that involves reflection on one's true self beyond ostensible identity qualifiers, gender euphoria does quite the opposite. It requires no thought on the self at all, and that may be the point entire. Gender Euphoria is become the opium of the people.
Why? How? What?
I am a 52 year old identified ADD/ASD female, with as much experience of social challenges as one might expect at such an advanced, semi-retired and chronically bemused and befuddled, somewhat doddery of late spectrum denizen, who stumbled on their condition but 10 years ago. Actually I sort of fell over it whilst trying to help my son in a conversation with a neurologist of note. This means I spent most of my life with no identity licences to exist whatsoever, which is not to say that ASD/ADD/GD wouldn't have helped muchly, but the latter I see as a production addressing issues purely produced in and for the psyche by societies in distress, or pertaining to the extreme male brain and how severe and chronically stressful living can affect one's biological nature. ASD IS ABOUT MUTATIONS BECAUSE WE ARE MUTATIVE beings, and given that I would be far safer in society as a male, nature provides the physiological coordinates to make that possible. Which is a different issue from being born biologically the wrong gender, as some doubtless are. But having the insight spending your life in a social nomansland means one can turn all the sufferin' into a resource. Social suffering, that is. Truth is, we don't suffer from not knowing ourselves, so addiction to Gender Euphoria doesn't affect us so much. Being targeted by those who suffer from it is another story.
So to be of any use out in the world as someone whose happiness and indeed sovereign right to be oneself had meant battling efforts to deny me the right and possibility of living as the happy female heterosexual that I am, but one whose mind and spirit baulks at the Gender Euphoria my apparent counterparts struggle with and who are gay in terms of their Euphoric psychosis which fuels so much targetting of those who fail to comply or genuflect, thus branded as heretics and dangers to the status quo, as we understand transcendence and elevated consciousness through the interface with that which is non-homogenised and individual, and unique. Something to be found in the encounter between the genders, not within them. For there lies little more in these times than harpies and ho hoodies. And, frankly, the groundwork for what actually has driven the targetting of the neurodiverse all along.