Why are black females always devalued when they speak their mind. No matter what the subject is the black females feedback or opinion is somehow ALWAYS devalued or not validated by others. Why is this ALWAYS the case?
Exactly. Give out stickers. That's what he said. Dismiss his point with pettiness all you want. But it works. Everyone likes being appreciated. Women included. Which is why I hate gendering these conversations so heavily.
Kita’s comment wasn’t dismissive. She highlighted the mentality of a man-child. He’s not “helping” around the house! It’s a partnership and the house is also his responsibility. If I need to ask you constantly to do the dishes and give you praise, you’re a child and not a partner. Once I become your mother all attraction goes out the window. Also men will tone police you and call your non-hostile and direct communication an attack to avoid accountability. We have fragile men demanding passive and soft communication while also wanting a gold sticker for completing a task that’s a shared household responsibility. Not to mention there is often an expectation of seggs because they cleaned, which is disgusting and gross. Smh pathetic. BUM (Kendrick’s voice)
Holding back praise or being condescending while expressing gratitude can backfire. Nobody wants to be belittled for their efforts, especially in a relationship. The woman on the panel is a perfect example of what NOT to do, unless you want to hurt him and/or lose him. Wouldn't it be better to foster an environment where respect for each other is the standard?💕
I agree. I will say that the lady gave an example of sarcasm that may be used based on the type of relationship you have with certain folks (such as myself). Read the room and use context 🙃✌🏾
@@setclearboundaries9184 She does that an awful lot on serious topics. And sometimes, her jokes/comments comes off as spiteful... possibly masking how she handles her situations (with her partner). I could be wrong though.🤷🏽♀
Honestly I've never heard anything out of her mouth that wasn't at least an eyebrow raisingly questionable take if not an outright red flag. I'm curious how she wound up on the panel other than to serve as a counter point to the rational and stable people up there. She is constantly coming in with undercutting and dismissive shots on things the guys say and showcasing exactly the bad behavior that so many women undermine their relationships with.
@@jewelsafire6844 I have no doubt that she represents a good chunk of the folks out there, I just question whether those folks belong on the panel or if they should just be in the audience. Especially with how often that representation is detracting from or attempting to derail insights from the men on the panel.
1) How you communicate definitely matters. This isn't a male/female thing but a human thing. When our energy signals a lack of safety defense walls come up to shield ourselves. Both the communicator and listener must commit to creating a safe space and saying "I value your voice and want to hear you" and "I value you and care how I communicate to you". 2) It is important to value progress. The steps towards a goal should also be communicated and agreed upon beforehand so that they have the same expectations.
What you are saying is true in theory. However, one problem is too many women out of desperation at 1st accept a guy who is choosing not to operate as a fully functional adult. When the day to day reality of having to carry him starts to tire her out she at first asks him to do better, then nags and begs. She should just leave, but fear of being alone paralyzes her. A sexist society has given us toxic roles that leave no one happy.
As a man I do what I need to do on a consistent basis and RARELY get compliments for it. Although I don’t expect it. EVERYONE likes positive feedback and encouragement and not in a condescending way
It's great you are doing the right thing. If you are in a relationship, be vulnerable and tell your partner you would like more words of affirmation. Another guy on this panel talked about men self sabotaging by rather being miserable and silent than vulnerable. One thing that is odd to me is, how men who are doing the right thing seem resistant to guys with chicks, who aren't doing right, being corrected. The advice this guy is giving is clearly, give praise as an incentive to get a guy not doing the basics to keep trying. The woman made the joke because she knows it doesn't work. The best advice would be get out, and do the self work to realise what is broken in you that you accepted someone not moving on an adult level, heal yourself 1st.
He is absolutely telling the truth here. When you speak, aim for kindness and respect, and remember, showing gratitude, no matter how small, can truly make a difference. When you sincerely give thanks, it fosters genuine appreciation.
@@kingyogi4945 Unfortunately, she often comes across as blunt, crude, and disrespectful. I agree with you. Her remark was belittling and unkind. This is why, when I do take the time to watch these short videos, I typically enjoy hearing from the beautiful Ms. Kitty. She provides truthful, insightful, and firm advice and guidance without being vulgar or disrespectful. She’s always so graceful and respectful in her speech. 🌸
She literally just used insult mix with sarcasm and humor to shame him for saying a man needs praise. She completely misunderstood why the attitude mattered. He said it’s human nature to receive affirmation that we are doing a good job. But men want stickers because she believes sex or anything perform sexual to him is the sticker. But if the man wants to hear he is handsome, his efforts of love through his outward expression, he is shamed subliminally. She that spirit of sarcasm hides in the beauty l, the smile, and people laughing at the idea that grown man need a sticker?? If he do now, now What? Are you not in love with him. Why call him babe?when you are having an orgasim then call he a baby when he disapproves of a woman behavior? Because she is disrespectful in her response.
I’m shocked. I didn’t realize he had locs until the wider shot. He has two hairs cohabitating! AND a full beard! Yo this man’s multidimensional! Respect to you Sir! 🫡
She just validated his statement that with that childish significance that it deserves a sticker. But E.T. said it best. The energy you give me when i do something bad. Show me that same type of energy when i do something good no matter what it is.
I went through the same thing in my past relationship.. Yes, as a grown adult, we are supposed to do for ourselves anyway.. So when I started to do more around the house, I felt like it didn't matter to her regardless.. Bottom line, yes, I want a cookie if I start doing more to sustain this relationship as you ask me too..
Appreciation. Comes from upbringing. Comes from spirituality in the home. When you have love in your heart. Appreciation is Expressed Naturally.❤ Realize if the love your giving is Healthy and pure and not PHONY DESPERATION 😳😠🤷🏽♂️😜🤦🏾♂️
Many people that are listening to the words from a place of "pain" missed the message. We never learned the validate..the acknowledgement is the validation that you see the effort.
Appreciation goes both ways, if your partner isn't giving you praise or telling you think you for things they think you are "supposed be doing", that means either you aren't giving them appreciation and praise for the things you feel they are "supposed to be doing" or their plate is too full to notice the small things you are doing.
I would disagree that it's always a cause and effect thing. Some people are just entitled and will subsume thanks and appreciation given to them as expected and then not give any in return because whatever behavior they should be showing appreciation for is also expected by them. Most women receive so many compliments, thanks, and acknowledgement on a daily basis that it's background noise to them and only registers if it stops. How many times do you think the average man says stuff like "Thank you baby", "Dinner was delicious", "the house looks great", "I just wanna tear that off you right now", etc in a given day? I bet most women have no idea and didn't even consciously register that those were compliments and acknowledgement of effort. But if he didn't say stuff like that ALL THE TIME he'd probably be labelled as an insensitive abusive asshole.
@@shadowalkerwho , maybe in the beginning, but for most of us in relationships especially relationships that get to this point, we are no longer on our best behavior, we are no longer a guess in our partner's home. Once you live with someone or been living with some you stop thinking the for every little thing, you aren't being rude, you just get use to stuff. And the other person starts to realize that they are doing all these things and their partner stopped showing appreciation a long time ago and so you get a little resentful, especially if you are doing this and that, plus working, add in kids. So, you ask them hey can you do the dishes tonight or to take out the trash, fold the cloths? So you can have a break, sure it would be nice if I say, thanks babe for doing that. But it would be just as nice if you did it without me asking you too. Especially, if you haven't said thank you to me for anything I've done in while. Look, in a perfect world partners would remember to say thank you and I appreciate you, or you look good. Or even, I want to take your cloths off, right now. But realistically the longer you are in a relationship the harder it is to remember to do these things. Which it why it's much more important to remind your partner you want to hear these things and for you are partner not to get offended or think they are being silly. Because realistically it goes both ways and we all need to be reminded we are appreciated. It's nice to hear, but also we all tend to forget. And if you love your partner and they tell you, they need your help more, you should never stop helping because they didn't say think you every time you did something you are suppose to do, especially when they are still doing all the other daily stuff you need them to do for you, like cooking, cleaning, making sure bills are paid on time, things you might yourself forget to say, thank you for.
The dog is a puppy, and the child is just that, a child. The issue here is not praising men. It's praising the person who has tired you out by having you carry them, when they should have been walking beside you holding hands the whole time.
@kimwilliams5165 You clearly missed the message. In what he's describing he's providing a scenario where the man is providing and supporting the family in all aspects then also comes home to a woman asking for help around the house in which he provides it but doesn't get a bady thank you or much appreciated. The problem is women think that men are supposed to do everything while most do very little and maybe even nothing. Yall get a mid six figure salary and what do we get? Especially since women no longer bring to the table what our grandparents were.
@@tbrown4305 You say he is speaking about a man who is providing in *ALL* aspects. But clearly he is not, or he would not talk of praise as an incentive for better behavior. You then reference a woman asking for help around the house when he gets home. Then say the problem is "women think that men are supposed to do everything" along with random thoughts on women who get "a mid six figure salary." Lastly you reference grandparents. 1st because house work is an old contention it's actually been studied. The results, women spend far more time doing house work in most relationships than men. Also that work + childcare equals far more than the 40hrs a week most male counterparts put in on jobs outside the home. So most men, when they don't want to do housework or are bare boning it, are in fact asking women to do more work than they do. So certainly not providing in all aspects. 2nd you seem to be implying women are being paid more, that is wrong. Data about pay is gathered from the IRS yearly. The results show a pay gap for women, with BLK women still making less than BLK men for the same job/hrs.
@@tbrown4305 3rd you talked about grandparents, implying a desire for women to perform traditional gender roles. What I notice is the same men asking for this are the least able to match their grandfathers. My grandfather would have been insulted if someone implied he should be praised for providing for his family or caring for his kids. That was a part of his definition of being a man. In the same way most people would be insulted during a work meeting if someone complimented them on their ability to read. My grandmother complimented my grandfather because he did what needed to be done on his own, he was never her umpteenth child to train. My grandfather could and sometimes did cook and watch kids, but he could also put up a door, install a hot water heater, replace an electric outlet, change a tire, a headlight, or the car oil. I know because I saw him do all the above and more. Some things got lost along the way for both groups, but in my view women are bringing more to the table than most men.
Some of you listen to Kita and are in the same situation and wonder why. Kita is good at displaying the negative side that most men don't want to deal with.
I used to have arguments with my husband about him not doing as much as I was around the house. Then one day we did a couples date and an associate of mine literally waited until dinner to pull out a cookie from her purse and say,”Here’s your cookie for helping with the house chores. That’s what you need right? Children’s initiatives to clean your own home.” That was so embarrassing! Her husband shut down to her mentally and emotionally and everyone who was friends with them said he was wrong. I realized after that it was important for me and my husband to reach an understanding. He doesn’t do all the things that I do but he does contribute. He makes breakfast every morning, packs my lunch and does laundry. I was wrong to diminish what he contributes.
These ladies think that thanking their partner for their efforts is "giving out stickers." But these are the same ladies that, when they change their hair or try a new makeup, or they change a light bulb or feed the cat, they want their man to notice and give *them* praise. "Didn't you see? This is a new eyeliner! And you didn't even say anything!" Pick a lane - either you praise your partner and you *get* praise back, or you don't praise your partner and you don't *expect* praise back.
Agreed, I said in my original comment that women get compliments and acknowledgement so frequently that they expect them and don't even register it a lot of the time *except* when they don't come. Yet many of them withhold praise and acknowledgement to their partners as though it takes a piece of their soul each time to give one.
Sadly I knew the snide remarks were coming. What Kita said was funny I wont lie but it was also revealing. Women say they want to feel safe and want men to provide and no one compares them to children (not saying they should). A man asks to be spoken to respectfully and for some acknowledgement when he is giving you what you want and now we reduce him to a kindergartener?
You know I truly understand what he is saying because it's vice versa for me, I go to my guy for comfort I tell him how I feel and he doesn't take me serious, it's like when I need him to tell me everything is going to be okay he doesn't say anything other than what you want me to say the thing is I'm always there for him no matter what the case maybe all I wanted was the same respect, response, reciprocating feeling..it hurts...
When dating, I watch how a female treats other people. That has always told me the most about how she is going to treat me when she is comfortable with my presence. I had to walk away from a few females. Cause the way they treated people, especially people they were upset at.
She proved hes point. Look at the energy she bought out with what i can only assume was a playful jab. That slight condescending "ohh you need to be treated like a child, hes your sticker". The disrespect with how they say it.
that seems to be her MO, just about any time one of the guys has something serious to say she's coming along with belittling shit to try and derail the message.
I seriously don't know a man who doesn't many times every day. You may have heard it so often that it doesn't stand out to you but if you actually kept track of what he says it would probably surprise you. That or you're discounting and dismissing it as not being effusive enough praise to count but we aren't even talking about scale here we're really just talking about a simple "thank you".
@@shadowalkerwho: But he didn’t say men want a “thank you”. He specifically said “praise” and “credit”. Mind you, I agree with him. If your significant other is making a clear effort in a positive direction they absolutely should be shown appreciation, gratitude, and acknowledgement. We all need positive reinforcement.
@@hereforit2347 a thank you IS credit and acknowledgement, praise doesn't have to be elaborate either. "Thanks babe, it looks much better now" is praise and credit, no reasonable person is expecting a parade and a BJ for doing a load of dishes but you act like that's what's being asked for. I get it if you don't understand what praise or acknowledgement looks like, pr if you're just such a bound up person that it physically pains you to thank someone for anything but reasonable people with reasonable expectations should have neither trouble with recognizing the little things done for them as praise worthy (thank yous) nor difficulty sparing that minuscule amount of effort required to give it in return. And that swings all ways, male and female, partners parents and children, friends, employees, teammates. If that's too hard for you then you aren't a good a person and need to do some work.
@@hereforit2347 *But he didn’t say men want a “thank you”. He specifically said “praise” and “credit”.* He means appreciation and acknowledge. And honestly, a 'thank you' will cover it most times. Think about that a moment. A simple 'Thank you' would satisfy most men and they can't get that from their women.
@@Jaslath: I’m not going by what he means, I’m talking about what he SAID. Again . . . the words he used were “praise” and “credit”. “Thank you” is not praise. Neither is gratitude or appreciation. The point IS, if anyone, man or woman, is with someone who doesn’t at least acknowledge their partner’s progress or give positive reinforcement, they need to either live with it and not complain, try to fix it, or move on to bigger and better things. If your woman can’t even give you a simple “Thank you” then what are you doing? Why do you keep arguing with me over semantics? 😆
It’s crazy how they say men are supposed to be mind readers but we have to know that what we are saying, in a calm manner is attacking to them. How? Especially when it’s clear communication.
She shouldn’t have said that … the ma was being serious and giving women some game and she made a mockery out of it ! I expected better I respect what she says most times but this is a big disrespect this time…
The real problem isn't communication in and of itself, it's social beliefs. Too many women are taught that their self worth is dependant on having a man pick them. Then due to society at the same time teaching men to do the least, we get a conflict. Women date and sometimes marry men who are childlike users. This guy thinks he is adulting at 100% if he can hold down a job. Too many women are carrying men, getting tired, but refusing to put them down or end the relationship. Instead they repeat themselves, nag, and beg the man to do better on basics he should have been doing day one anyway. The man gets tired and says these women have no respect. Sadly due to never having seen a healthy male role model lead in a romantic relationship, the guy doesn't realize she had nothing to respect. No one learns anything, the couple breaks up, and wash and repeat.
Listen. You knew he didnt have home training long before couples counseling. If you wanted a ready made straight out the factory of time/wisdom/experience kinda dude, then you should have chosen someone different. This the man youre working with now. So its just like with a kid, youre basically helping him to reparent himself. Hes like the IKEA product that doesnt come assembled. Gotta help him assemble himself. If hes willing to learn, then hes willing to learn. When someone is not used to a behavior or a mindset, it takes time and repetition. And just like we do the kids, it takes positive reinforcement. You fuss and holler at a kid, youll be power struggling. Worse with a grown person because they realize listening to your mouth is an option.
At the very least don't do it if you aren't equipped and prepared to handle the assembly process involved. Being shitty at a pile of parts on the floor isn't going to make it want to become a chair for you, in fact it's just going to further reinforce it's choice of being pokey and uncomfortable right back at you.
I notice all the jokes in the comments about showing men appreciation for the things they do, not realizing that his message actually helps women. Its interesting to see how resistent some women are to showing their man appreciation even to the point of making jokes about it. Then they wonder why black athletes date white women and not them. Hmmm... i wonder why?
You can't criticise a bad comment she made and then turn around and be emotional. Don't mix the two. She downplayed a serious discussion and you are bringing race into a situation that does not require it.
Cooking and cleaning, yeah you suppose to do that, raising kids and being hands on yeah you suppose to do that, for me in those instances my partner is not suppose to be "helping" he is suppose to do that, so no handing out stickers for shit people are suppose to do
@NBaBall3r26 It’s a partnership. No praise. It’s your responsibility because you live in the household as well. You’re a man child if you require praise for participating in your own household. BUM!!! (Kendrick’s voice!)
@@soulasmith8585I hear you and whilst I agree with the concept that an adult should be adult and be able to perform certain duties regardless of gender; however by your logic if a woman does something that “she’s supposed to do” and her partner doesn’t acknowledge or show appreciation for it how is it any different?
@@WalkingW_ I don’t believe in gendered roles. We both have responsibilities in the household and both people equitably participating in the upkeep of their homes is a true partnership. I don’t need nor want gold stickers for taking care of my responsibilities nor should the man. Regarding acknowledgment/recognition - the acknowledgment and appreciation is around each person being an equitable partner not that someone did the dishes. Also side note: men will use the completion of a shared household task as entitlement to sex which is disgusting and gross. Cleaning should not be done in exchange for sexual favors but because there’s mutual respect for one another
« One plus equals two » true: love relationship,in my mind,is a human complementarity that needs a Human investment for each partner to hope a long term relationship.
The joke wouldn't have been bad IF she had taken the moment to back pedal and show that she actually understood what they meant after dropping it. That they aren't actually talking about stickers and stars, but I don't think she did actually understand the difference and like many women in the audience FELT that was like giving out stickers. That would've been an add, defusing some of the "but that's giving stickers" thoughts that were definitely floating through some of the women in the audience.
I get what he is saying, but as a man, right, you see all these things that a woman is doing by herself. Do y'all think to praise her? Thank you for waking the kids up getting them ready, making breakfast, packing lunch, taking them to school, going to work, going shopping , getting the kids, cooking & cleaning , then making love to me. At this point, do the men do fr.She's already doing it, yes, because she feels like she has to do it because the man is not. Then men get mad about women being in masculine energy. I don't know what point in time men dropped the ball and got so lazy. Women don't get praised for being a woman and doing all that she does on a daily basis without a man having to ask for her to do anything. A soon as a woman ask her man to her provide for her or help provide in general, they want a pat on the back . As a man, that should come naturally . This is where I say I don't get men because we are faulted for stepping into our masculine, but we are forced to be there because men want to be so damn feminine.
That can easily go both ways if communication is weak within the relationship because what about the woman trying and not getting shown her appreciation on a daily and then when she gives up because she doesn't feel it's worth it, then what?
It happens but it's rare by comparison. In fact it's far more likely that she's getting compliments and acknowledgement and she's just so used to getting them that they don't register. Not that he's not giving them but they've become background noise to her most of the time. How often do you think the average guy says stuff like "thank you baby", "that was delicious", etc. for most guys it's a dozen times a day or more. How often do most women thank men for something that isn't a clear and unexpected gift like flowers or ice cream? For a fair few women that answer would be Zero because everything else is "expected" and an obligation that they shouldn't have to thank you for doing. Hold the door for her, well she's a princess and a gentleman should hold the door! Pay the bills, well duh that's his job! etc. I'm not saying there aren't guys out there who show no gratitude, just that there are a good portion of the women who FEEL like they aren't appreciated who are actually getting shown gratitude and just aren't receiving it as such because it wasn't grandiose enough to breach their normal background expectations.
@@shadowalkerwho well I guess I'm the rare case of woman who didn't get those little thank you baby's of unexpected gifts and had the man that just expected me to do those things I did because I was his woman and to turn around and say I don't do enough 🙃
@@KatieFKing I'm sorry to hear that. But among the men I know and most of the women I've known guys showing appreciation is a steady and expected standard. This isn't something I consider as a one side gendered thing, it should be a two way street but lack of appreciation is a relationship red flag to me. Everything they do for you (and vice versa) should be a plus and acknowledged and appreciated as good practice. People who don't do that tend to be manipulators and users and should probably be avoided.
@@shadowalkerwho yea that's why I said if communication is weak because some things are expected but may not be known if it's not properly communicated from the start. Dealing in codependent wounded situations things get skewed if not spoken on. I have had to learn a lot about knowing what my standard is since i was raised in a single mother household where after my father left at 3 she never dealt with another man and I had no male influences and my brother was never around so I never knew what I was supposed to expect from a man and I really just wanted the comfort and love that i saw other women having with a man so going out of my way and not getting appreciation in the long run being the result was eye opening
Y’all gotta chill Kita can be serious when she needs to but her job on that panel is comedic relief like Ace. They want to tackle the serious issues but they also want the show to be fun
The problem is with the editing, I'm sure it can be chill at times but it really not a good look when we getting into it and someone needs to crack s joke. We are adults, laughing and defusing the situation is all well and good but its not necessary. It was just in poor taste cause its ALWAYS after someone speaks to educate. Its the cherry on top of a pull pork sandwich.
@@jas1565 Nah, fam. Her tone was condescending. And, even if it had been in jest, her words undercut what was a very important message from that gentleman. Jokes can cause real harm depending on the circumstance.
@@jas1565 *It's not that serious.* But it is. That's why they are having the panel. And she was dismissive to his point under the guise of telling a joke.
@@Jaslath lol again, dragging it. It wasn't dismissive at all. Myself, and other people in the comments, interpreted what he was saying in the same way Kita did. It didn't dismiss what he said, it was a joke about how he was saying it.
You can't keep going 'what about the men' every time anyone speaks on how women can improve. First, it's an immature response. Second, it's a deflection. And third, lets imagine that men did do what you want. At that point the scrutiny is going to shift to where women lack anyway.
I agree with Kita on that because the way Stephen explained it sounded like a woman having to praise her man like she is his mother or father. It’s one thing to appreciate your spouse for helping out even when that is their job, but to thank them for doing the bare minimum like their kids is crazy. I can appreciate my husband for going the extra mile or doing things out of the ordinary, but I’m not going to say here’s a cookie every time he takes the trash out.
I dont think he meant that you have to keep doing. I think he meant when we complain about certain things not being done, we address it and compliment the progress. The encouragement is the gas to keep the car running smoothly like we want it.
Having such a heartbreaking mindset like this is so damaging. For a strong and thriving marriage, embracing gratitude, no matter how small, is key. Even the tiniest acts can have a significant impact. Don't wait for grand gestures to express thanks to your husband. Appreciate even the smallest gestures, and he'll feel truly valued and appreciated ♥️. I'm grateful to my husband for making our bed in the mornings and taking care of the trash. These simple acts mean a great deal to me. He also acknowledges the little things I do, such as making him coffee or picking up his favorite snack at Target. These are just a couple examples but these small gestures are meaningful. 💕
In the time you typed all of this, you could have thanked your man at least once for whatever miniscule task and possibly improved your relationship. Smh.
@Raven.Sunflower beautifully said and put. We all want to feel appreciated, and yeah, those little things still command effort and attentiveness, so like you wrote, why not show appreciation. It's free and goes a long way. Everything does not need to be a grandiose gesture. Great words from you.
Men do not need to be coddled. I'm a man raised in the 80s and 90s. Our parents didn't coddle us. They showed us that life is and will always be difficult, so you have to develop some assertiveness and backbone. If you don't like the tone your partner speaks with, then you better damn well tell her, otherwise she'll continue to speak to you in that manner. There's no reason whatsoever to be with someone who makes you feel like you have to walk on eggshells. Women respect assertiveness. Notice that I didn't say be mean about it. If she doesn't respect you, then you're wasting your time and her time. Just remember, as a man who's supposed to lead in the way God intended, you better have the kind of character traits that deserve to be respected.
When are men gonna grow up...we grown why do I have to patty cake info for you to listen..stand up stop being so damn emotional ain't nobody got time to baby a grown ass man...if me and my parter trust each other and one of us is giving the other info who cares how it's given as long as you trust who's giving it...he sound stupid and weak...
Well men have been trying to tell women that for ages. Men say all the time who gives af how the message is received if it’s true and women come back and say that our tone be off. But now a man is saying that and now all of a sudden tone no longer matters. Yall are pitiful.🤷🏿♂️
Women: "men need to express their emotions more!" Also women: "stop being so damn emotional!" Women don't want men to be more emotionally expressive and vulnerable. Y'all only want emotions that are convenient for you. Or you're lying to get us to open up, only so you can gather ammunition to use against us later on.
And just like that, she disregarded his whole message.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Facts
And wonder why good men aren't lined up at their door SMH
Facts! That was a bad move on her part. The message was probably hitting home until she made that comment.
Why are black females
always devalued when
they speak their mind.
No matter what the
subject is the black
females feedback or
opinion is somehow
ALWAYS devalued or
not validated by others.
Why is this ALWAYS the
case?
Exactly. Give out stickers.
That's what he said. Dismiss his point with pettiness all you want. But it works. Everyone likes being appreciated. Women included. Which is why I hate gendering these conversations so heavily.
Kita’s comment wasn’t dismissive. She highlighted the mentality of a man-child. He’s not “helping” around the house! It’s a partnership and the house is also his responsibility. If I need to ask you constantly to do the dishes and give you praise, you’re a child and not a partner. Once I become your mother all attraction goes out the window. Also men will tone police you and call your non-hostile and direct communication an attack to avoid accountability. We have fragile men demanding passive and soft communication while also wanting a gold sticker for completing a task that’s a shared household responsibility. Not to mention there is often an expectation of seggs because they cleaned, which is disgusting and gross. Smh pathetic. BUM (Kendrick’s voice)
@@soulasmith8585 you and her are both dismissive. I'd continue the convo if your mind didn't seem made up but I'd rather not waste our time.
No worries she will be single forever and wondering why when the answer is obvious
@@thecoach11 She’s married! Her husband, the audience, and the panel can take a joke but clearly you can’t! 😂
@@laurencameron3150 I was talking about Kita Rose not the woman in the audience
Holding back praise or being condescending while expressing gratitude can backfire. Nobody wants to be belittled for their efforts, especially in a relationship. The woman on the panel is a perfect example of what NOT to do, unless you want to hurt him and/or lose him. Wouldn't it be better to foster an environment where respect for each other is the standard?💕
I agree. I will say that the lady gave an example of sarcasm that may be used based on the type of relationship you have with certain folks (such as myself). Read the room and use context 🙃✌🏾
@@setclearboundaries9184 She does that an awful lot on serious topics. And sometimes, her jokes/comments comes off as spiteful... possibly masking how she handles her situations (with her partner). I could be wrong though.🤷🏽♀
Honestly I've never heard anything out of her mouth that wasn't at least an eyebrow raisingly questionable take if not an outright red flag. I'm curious how she wound up on the panel other than to serve as a counter point to the rational and stable people up there. She is constantly coming in with undercutting and dismissive shots on things the guys say and showcasing exactly the bad behavior that so many women undermine their relationships with.
@@shadowalkerwho I guess, some people identify with her or enjoy her brand of humor. Basically, she's a representation of what's really out here.🧐
@@jewelsafire6844 I have no doubt that she represents a good chunk of the folks out there, I just question whether those folks belong on the panel or if they should just be in the audience. Especially with how often that representation is detracting from or attempting to derail insights from the men on the panel.
1) How you communicate definitely matters. This isn't a male/female thing but a human thing. When our energy signals a lack of safety defense walls come up to shield ourselves. Both the communicator and listener must commit to creating a safe space and saying "I value your voice and want to hear you" and "I value you and care how I communicate to you".
2) It is important to value progress. The steps towards a goal should also be communicated and agreed upon beforehand so that they have the same expectations.
🎯🎯
What you are saying is true in theory. However, one problem is too many women out of desperation at 1st accept a guy who is choosing not to operate as a fully functional adult. When the day to day reality of having to carry him starts to tire her out she at first asks him to do better, then nags and begs. She should just leave, but fear of being alone paralyzes her. A sexist society has given us toxic roles that leave no one happy.
And all it is, is a simple “thank you and a kiss on the cheek” from our significant other.
Lips..no church kissing on the cheek to your partner
As a man I do what I need to do on a consistent basis and RARELY get compliments for it. Although I don’t expect it. EVERYONE likes positive feedback and encouragement and not in a condescending way
It's great you are doing the right thing. If you are in a relationship, be vulnerable and tell your partner you would like more words of affirmation. Another guy on this panel talked about men self sabotaging by rather being miserable and silent than vulnerable. One thing that is odd to me is, how men who are doing the right thing seem resistant to guys with chicks, who aren't doing right, being corrected. The advice this guy is giving is clearly, give praise as an incentive to get a guy not doing the basics to keep trying. The woman made the joke because she knows it doesn't work. The best advice would be get out, and do the self work to realise what is broken in you that you accepted someone not moving on an adult level, heal yourself 1st.
@@kimwilliams5165 either that works out, or a breakup comes shortly after
Its about how the message is relayed.
He is absolutely telling the truth here. When you speak, aim for kindness and respect, and remember, showing gratitude, no matter how small, can truly make a difference. When you sincerely give thanks, it fosters genuine appreciation.
We all agree with you. It's just crazy how the female at the end just disregarded, belittled & downplayed everything he just said.
@@kingyogi4945 Unfortunately, she often comes across as blunt, crude, and disrespectful. I agree with you. Her remark was belittling and unkind. This is why, when I do take the time to watch these short videos, I typically enjoy hearing from the beautiful Ms. Kitty. She provides truthful, insightful, and firm advice and guidance without being vulgar or disrespectful. She’s always so graceful and respectful in her speech. 🌸
She just proved his point!
She literally just used insult mix with sarcasm and humor to shame him for saying a man needs praise. She completely misunderstood why the attitude mattered. He said it’s human nature to receive affirmation that we are doing a good job. But men want stickers because she believes sex or anything perform sexual to him is the sticker. But if the man wants to hear he is handsome, his efforts of love through his outward expression, he is shamed subliminally. She that spirit of sarcasm hides in the beauty l, the smile, and people laughing at the idea that grown man need a sticker?? If he do now,
now What? Are you not in love with him. Why call him babe?when you are having an orgasim then call he a baby when he disapproves of a woman behavior? Because she is disrespectful in her response.
I’m shocked. I didn’t realize he had locs until the wider shot. He has two hairs cohabitating! AND a full beard! Yo this man’s multidimensional! Respect to you Sir! 🫡
😂😂😂
Bofl 😂😂
She just validated his statement that with that childish significance that it deserves a sticker. But E.T. said it best. The energy you give me when i do something bad. Show me that same type of energy when i do something good no matter what it is.
I appreciate a woman who has a sense of humor . That was funny how she responded.
I went through the same thing in my past relationship.. Yes, as a grown adult, we are supposed to do for ourselves anyway.. So when I started to do more around the house, I felt like it didn't matter to her regardless.. Bottom line, yes, I want a cookie if I start doing more to sustain this relationship as you ask me too..
Appreciation. Comes from upbringing. Comes from spirituality in the home. When you have love in your heart. Appreciation is Expressed Naturally.❤ Realize if the love your giving is Healthy and pure and not PHONY DESPERATION 😳😠🤷🏽♂️😜🤦🏾♂️
Bro. Stephan, broke that thing down! Love it! My first time seeing him look so serious as he’s giving advice!
I see why, the jokester on the panel isn't taken seriously.😒
Yes!! Sometimes stickers are needed.. We are made in God's likeness and he enjoy praises why not lift up our love one's.. ❤
Many people that are listening to the words from a place of "pain" missed the message. We never learned the validate..the acknowledgement is the validation that you see the effort.
appreciation goes a long way, on both sides!
Why do you need to be appreciated for doing what you should be doing anyway
Appreciation goes both ways, if your partner isn't giving you praise or telling you think you for things they think you are "supposed be doing", that means either you aren't giving them appreciation and praise for the things you feel they are "supposed to be doing" or their plate is too full to notice the small things you are doing.
I would disagree that it's always a cause and effect thing. Some people are just entitled and will subsume thanks and appreciation given to them as expected and then not give any in return because whatever behavior they should be showing appreciation for is also expected by them.
Most women receive so many compliments, thanks, and acknowledgement on a daily basis that it's background noise to them and only registers if it stops. How many times do you think the average man says stuff like "Thank you baby", "Dinner was delicious", "the house looks great", "I just wanna tear that off you right now", etc in a given day? I bet most women have no idea and didn't even consciously register that those were compliments and acknowledgement of effort. But if he didn't say stuff like that ALL THE TIME he'd probably be labelled as an insensitive abusive asshole.
@@shadowalkerwho , maybe in the beginning, but for most of us in relationships especially relationships that get to this point, we are no longer on our best behavior, we are no longer a guess in our partner's home. Once you live with someone or been living with some you stop thinking the for every little thing, you aren't being rude, you just get use to stuff. And the other person starts to realize that they are doing all these things and their partner stopped showing appreciation a long time ago and so you get a little resentful, especially if you are doing this and that, plus working, add in kids. So, you ask them hey can you do the dishes tonight or to take out the trash, fold the cloths? So you can have a break, sure it would be nice if I say, thanks babe for doing that. But it would be just as nice if you did it without me asking you too. Especially, if you haven't said thank you to me for anything I've done in while.
Look, in a perfect world partners would remember to say thank you and I appreciate you, or you look good. Or even, I want to take your cloths off, right now. But realistically the longer you are in a relationship the harder it is to remember to do these things. Which it why it's much more important to remind your partner you want to hear these things and for you are partner not to get offended or think they are being silly. Because realistically it goes both ways and we all need to be reminded we are appreciated. It's nice to hear, but also we all tend to forget. And if you love your partner and they tell you, they need your help more, you should never stop helping because they didn't say think you every time you did something you are suppose to do, especially when they are still doing all the other daily stuff you need them to do for you, like cooking, cleaning, making sure bills are paid on time, things you might yourself forget to say, thank you for.
Women will praise their dogs and children but find it a burden to do the same for their men
The dog is a puppy, and the child is just that, a child. The issue here is not praising men. It's praising the person who has tired you out by having you carry them, when they should have been walking beside you holding hands the whole time.
@kimwilliams5165 You clearly missed the message. In what he's describing he's providing a scenario where the man is providing and supporting the family in all aspects then also comes home to a woman asking for help around the house in which he provides it but doesn't get a bady thank you or much appreciated. The problem is women think that men are supposed to do everything while most do very little and maybe even nothing. Yall get a mid six figure salary and what do we get? Especially since women no longer bring to the table what our grandparents were.
Facts 💯
@@tbrown4305 You say he is speaking about a man who is providing in *ALL* aspects. But clearly he is not, or he would not talk of praise as an incentive for better behavior. You then reference a woman asking for help around the house when he gets home. Then say the problem is "women think that men are supposed to do everything" along with random thoughts on women who get "a mid six figure salary." Lastly you reference grandparents. 1st because house work is an old contention it's actually been studied. The results, women spend far more time doing house work in most relationships than men. Also that work + childcare equals far more than the 40hrs a week most male counterparts put in on jobs outside the home. So most men, when they don't want to do housework or are bare boning it, are in fact asking women to do more work than they do. So certainly not providing in all aspects. 2nd you seem to be implying women are being paid more, that is wrong. Data about pay is gathered from the IRS yearly. The results show a pay gap for women, with BLK women still making less than BLK men for the same job/hrs.
@@tbrown4305 3rd you talked about grandparents, implying a desire for women to perform traditional gender roles. What I notice is the same men asking for this are the least able to match their grandfathers. My grandfather would have been insulted if someone implied he should be praised for providing for his family or caring for his kids. That was a part of his definition of being a man. In the same way most people would be insulted during a work meeting if someone complimented them on their ability to read. My grandmother complimented my grandfather because he did what needed to be done on his own, he was never her umpteenth child to train. My grandfather could and sometimes did cook and watch kids, but he could also put up a door, install a hot water heater, replace an electric outlet, change a tire, a headlight, or the car oil. I know because I saw him do all the above and more. Some things got lost along the way for both groups, but in my view women are bringing more to the table than most men.
Absolutely Kita Rose! It's Sticker time! And while you're at it, put up a chart board😂😂😂😂😂
Single😂😂😂
Some of you listen to Kita and are in the same situation and wonder why. Kita is good at displaying the negative side that most men don't want to deal with.
No cap youre probably just like, immature and toxic.
I used to have arguments with my husband about him not doing as much as I was around the house. Then one day we did a couples date and an associate of mine literally waited until dinner to pull out a cookie from her purse and say,”Here’s your cookie for helping with the house chores. That’s what you need right? Children’s initiatives to clean your own home.” That was so embarrassing! Her husband shut down to her mentally and emotionally and everyone who was friends with them said he was wrong. I realized after that it was important for me and my husband to reach an understanding. He doesn’t do all the things that I do but he does contribute. He makes breakfast every morning, packs my lunch and does laundry. I was wrong to diminish what he contributes.
These ladies think that thanking their partner for their efforts is "giving out stickers." But these are the same ladies that, when they change their hair or try a new makeup, or they change a light bulb or feed the cat, they want their man to notice and give *them* praise. "Didn't you see? This is a new eyeliner! And you didn't even say anything!"
Pick a lane - either you praise your partner and you *get* praise back, or you don't praise your partner and you don't *expect* praise back.
Agreed, I said in my original comment that women get compliments and acknowledgement so frequently that they expect them and don't even register it a lot of the time *except* when they don't come. Yet many of them withhold praise and acknowledgement to their partners as though it takes a piece of their soul each time to give one.
Sadly I knew the snide remarks were coming. What Kita said was funny I wont lie but it was also revealing. Women say they want to feel safe and want men to provide and no one compares them to children (not saying they should). A man asks to be spoken to respectfully and for some acknowledgement when he is giving you what you want and now we reduce him to a kindergartener?
Her response is what the warning is all bout... #amazing
Great advice Bro. Stephan!
You know I truly understand what he is saying because it's vice versa for me, I go to my guy for comfort I tell him how I feel and he doesn't take me serious, it's like when I need him to tell me everything is going to be okay he doesn't say anything other than what you want me to say the thing is I'm always there for him no matter what the case maybe all I wanted was the same respect, response, reciprocating feeling..it hurts...
You are so right about that, Stephan. 👍🏼
When dating, I watch how a female treats other people. That has always told me the most about how she is going to treat me when she is comfortable with my presence. I had to walk away from a few females. Cause the way they treated people, especially people they were upset at.
She proved hes point. Look at the energy she bought out with what i can only assume was a playful jab. That slight condescending "ohh you need to be treated like a child, hes your sticker".
The disrespect with how they say it.
Oh my that sticker statement was very belittling, offensive n disrespectful.
that seems to be her MO, just about any time one of the guys has something serious to say she's coming along with belittling shit to try and derail the message.
It works both ways. Give your woman praise for what she’s already doing and has been doing and what she started doing but wasn’t doing before.
I seriously don't know a man who doesn't many times every day. You may have heard it so often that it doesn't stand out to you but if you actually kept track of what he says it would probably surprise you. That or you're discounting and dismissing it as not being effusive enough praise to count but we aren't even talking about scale here we're really just talking about a simple "thank you".
@@shadowalkerwho: But he didn’t say men want a “thank you”. He specifically said “praise” and “credit”.
Mind you, I agree with him. If your significant other is making a clear effort in a positive direction they absolutely should be shown appreciation, gratitude, and acknowledgement. We all need positive reinforcement.
@@hereforit2347 a thank you IS credit and acknowledgement, praise doesn't have to be elaborate either. "Thanks babe, it looks much better now" is praise and credit, no reasonable person is expecting a parade and a BJ for doing a load of dishes but you act like that's what's being asked for. I get it if you don't understand what praise or acknowledgement looks like, pr if you're just such a bound up person that it physically pains you to thank someone for anything but reasonable people with reasonable expectations should have neither trouble with recognizing the little things done for them as praise worthy (thank yous) nor difficulty sparing that minuscule amount of effort required to give it in return. And that swings all ways, male and female, partners parents and children, friends, employees, teammates. If that's too hard for you then you aren't a good a person and need to do some work.
@@hereforit2347
*But he didn’t say men want a “thank you”. He specifically said “praise” and “credit”.*
He means appreciation and acknowledge. And honestly, a 'thank you' will cover it most times. Think about that a moment. A simple 'Thank you' would satisfy most men and they can't get that from their women.
@@Jaslath: I’m not going by what he means, I’m talking about what he SAID. Again . . . the words he used were “praise” and “credit”. “Thank you” is not praise. Neither is gratitude or appreciation.
The point IS, if anyone, man or woman, is with someone who doesn’t at least acknowledge their partner’s progress or give positive reinforcement, they need to either live with it and not complain, try to fix it, or move on to bigger and better things. If your woman can’t even give you a simple “Thank you” then what are you doing?
Why do you keep arguing with me over semantics? 😆
ALLLLLL OF T H I S. Been there. A lil genuine appreciation goes a looong way. Not all the time ere once in a while.
Men also need to thank women for all the work they do around the house like cooking for them.
It’s crazy how they say men are supposed to be mind readers but we have to know that what we are saying, in a calm manner is attacking to them. How? Especially when it’s clear communication.
STICKERS, get it got it good 👍🏾 😂😂😂
PEOPLE KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE DOING 🎯 💯 🔥
A LOT of unmarried and people in non committed relationships on that stage.
Classic "Do as I say, not as I do."
Well said bro
She just proved his point🤦🏿♂️.
Amen brotha 👏🏾👏🏾
I WANNA FEEL APPRECIATED TOO! I DO WHAT I'M SUPPOSE TO!
She shouldn’t have said that … the ma was being serious and giving women some game and she made a mockery out of it ! I expected better I respect what she says most times but this is a big disrespect this time…
Yes agreed brother! No girl stickers ain't what he talking about We grown okay Stop playing😂😂
No Ma’am.. we need to start giving out PASSPORTS! Good luck with Pookie and Ray Ray. ✌🏾
She dead wrong for that, but damn it I want my sticker😂😂😂😂
I feel the same vise versa
Well received
What episode is this on
If you want something, try giving it away first.
Is it just me but over time kita has turned more and more into a bird
My G. Dropping SCIENCE.....🙏🏿👍🏿☝🏿🤔
Facts
The real problem isn't communication in and of itself, it's social beliefs. Too many women are taught that their self worth is dependant on having a man pick them. Then due to society at the same time teaching men to do the least, we get a conflict. Women date and sometimes marry men who are childlike users. This guy thinks he is adulting at 100% if he can hold down a job. Too many women are carrying men, getting tired, but refusing to put them down or end the relationship. Instead they repeat themselves, nag, and beg the man to do better on basics he should have been doing day one anyway. The man gets tired and says these women have no respect. Sadly due to never having seen a healthy male role model lead in a romantic relationship, the guy doesn't realize she had nothing to respect. No one learns anything, the couple breaks up, and wash and repeat.
An Immature comment just destroyed a 3 Minute Mature set of Instruction 2 keep a marriage/serious relationship going 🤨😐😑
Giving out stickers😂
Not stickers 😂😂😂😂😂
FACTS
Why do she minimize and downplay everything eeven the most simplest of logic that actually can help women
Listen. You knew he didnt have home training long before couples counseling. If you wanted a ready made straight out the factory of time/wisdom/experience kinda dude, then you should have chosen someone different.
This the man youre working with now. So its just like with a kid, youre basically helping him to reparent himself.
Hes like the IKEA product that doesnt come assembled. Gotta help him assemble himself.
If hes willing to learn, then hes willing to learn. When someone is not used to a behavior or a mindset, it takes time and repetition. And just like we do the kids, it takes positive reinforcement.
You fuss and holler at a kid, youll be power struggling. Worse with a grown person because they realize listening to your mouth is an option.
Right, don’t marry someone that’s a work in progress that needs to be assembled
At the very least don't do it if you aren't equipped and prepared to handle the assembly process involved. Being shitty at a pile of parts on the floor isn't going to make it want to become a chair for you, in fact it's just going to further reinforce it's choice of being pokey and uncomfortable right back at you.
Cookie’s 🍪 n Stickers 🤭😆
And a pat on the head .. good boy!
Take out the garbage, good boy!
It's coddling which I personally think they already get too much of.
This@@R.Yvette.X.
Gold stars and shiii 😂😂😂 i get it though.
And didn't women say this about Kevin, it wasn't what he said it was his delivery, the name calling, the put downs that was sour
I notice all the jokes in the comments about showing men appreciation for the things they do, not realizing that his message actually helps women. Its interesting to see how resistent some women are to showing their man appreciation even to the point of making jokes about it. Then they wonder why black athletes date white women and not them. Hmmm... i wonder why?
You can't criticise a bad comment she made and then turn around and be emotional. Don't mix the two. She downplayed a serious discussion and you are bringing race into a situation that does not require it.
I hate when women say..he's supposed to do that.
ungrateful
Cooking and cleaning, yeah you suppose to do that, raising kids and being hands on yeah you suppose to do that, for me in those instances my partner is not suppose to be "helping" he is suppose to do that, so no handing out stickers for shit people are suppose to do
@NBaBall3r26 It’s a partnership. No praise. It’s your responsibility because you live in the household as well. You’re a man child if you require praise for participating in your own household. BUM!!! (Kendrick’s voice!)
@@soulasmith8585I hear you and whilst I agree with the concept that an adult should be adult and be able to perform certain duties regardless of gender; however by your logic if a woman does something that “she’s supposed to do” and her partner doesn’t acknowledge or show appreciation for it how is it any different?
@@WalkingW_ I don’t believe in gendered roles. We both have responsibilities in the household and both people equitably participating in the upkeep of their homes is a true partnership. I don’t need nor want gold stickers for taking care of my responsibilities nor should the man.
Regarding acknowledgment/recognition - the acknowledgment and appreciation is around each person being an equitable partner not that someone did the dishes.
Also side note: men will use the completion of a shared household task as entitlement to sex which is disgusting and gross. Cleaning should not be done in exchange for sexual favors but because there’s mutual respect for one another
@@soulasmith8585 I hear you. with that being said, I hope your partner shares the same values and has the same mindset as you. Bless
« One plus equals two » true:
love relationship,in my mind,is a human complementarity that needs a Human investment for each partner to hope a long term relationship.
* -« One plus one equals two »
I'll take *TWO* stickers please and thanks. 🙏
😂🤣🤣
❤🎉🇮🇳👍
Message degraded by timing of joke
The joke wouldn't have been bad IF she had taken the moment to back pedal and show that she actually understood what they meant after dropping it. That they aren't actually talking about stickers and stars, but I don't think she did actually understand the difference and like many women in the audience FELT that was like giving out stickers. That would've been an add, defusing some of the "but that's giving stickers" thoughts that were definitely floating through some of the women in the audience.
Well... the unmitigated gall...😆
The lil big no chicken balls .
I get what he is saying, but as a man, right, you see all these things that a woman is doing by herself. Do y'all think to praise her? Thank you for waking the kids up getting them ready, making breakfast, packing lunch, taking them to school, going to work, going shopping , getting the kids, cooking & cleaning , then making love to me. At this point, do the men do fr.She's already doing it, yes, because she feels like she has to do it because the man is not. Then men get mad about women being in masculine energy. I don't know what point in time men dropped the ball and got so lazy. Women don't get praised for being a woman and doing all that she does on a daily basis without a man having to ask for her to do anything. A soon as a woman ask her man to her provide for her or help provide in general, they want a pat on the back . As a man, that should come naturally . This is where I say I don't get men because we are faulted for stepping into our masculine, but we are forced to be there because men want to be so damn feminine.
That can easily go both ways if communication is weak within the relationship because what about the woman trying and not getting shown her appreciation on a daily and then when she gives up because she doesn't feel it's worth it, then what?
The thing is we know that narrative with women. The reverse isn’t really seen, it’s mocked just like here
It happens but it's rare by comparison. In fact it's far more likely that she's getting compliments and acknowledgement and she's just so used to getting them that they don't register. Not that he's not giving them but they've become background noise to her most of the time.
How often do you think the average guy says stuff like "thank you baby", "that was delicious", etc. for most guys it's a dozen times a day or more. How often do most women thank men for something that isn't a clear and unexpected gift like flowers or ice cream? For a fair few women that answer would be Zero because everything else is "expected" and an obligation that they shouldn't have to thank you for doing. Hold the door for her, well she's a princess and a gentleman should hold the door! Pay the bills, well duh that's his job! etc.
I'm not saying there aren't guys out there who show no gratitude, just that there are a good portion of the women who FEEL like they aren't appreciated who are actually getting shown gratitude and just aren't receiving it as such because it wasn't grandiose enough to breach their normal background expectations.
@@shadowalkerwho well I guess I'm the rare case of woman who didn't get those little thank you baby's of unexpected gifts and had the man that just expected me to do those things I did because I was his woman and to turn around and say I don't do enough 🙃
@@KatieFKing I'm sorry to hear that. But among the men I know and most of the women I've known guys showing appreciation is a steady and expected standard.
This isn't something I consider as a one side gendered thing, it should be a two way street but lack of appreciation is a relationship red flag to me. Everything they do for you (and vice versa) should be a plus and acknowledged and appreciated as good practice. People who don't do that tend to be manipulators and users and should probably be avoided.
@@shadowalkerwho yea that's why I said if communication is weak because some things are expected but may not be known if it's not properly communicated from the start. Dealing in codependent wounded situations things get skewed if not spoken on. I have had to learn a lot about knowing what my standard is since i was raised in a single mother household where after my father left at 3 she never dealt with another man and I had no male influences and my brother was never around so I never knew what I was supposed to expect from a man and I really just wanted the comfort and love that i saw other women having with a man so going out of my way and not getting appreciation in the long run being the result was eye opening
Y’all gotta chill Kita can be serious when she needs to but her job on that panel is comedic relief like Ace. They want to tackle the serious issues but they also want the show to be fun
The problem is with the editing, I'm sure it can be chill at times but it really not a good look when we getting into it and someone needs to crack s joke. We are adults, laughing and defusing the situation is all well and good but its not necessary. It was just in poor taste cause its ALWAYS after someone speaks to educate. Its the cherry on top of a pull pork sandwich.
1) That's a terribly dismissive thing to say, coming from that young lady.
2)If it were genuine, I'd actually love getting stickers from my woman.
It was a joke 😂
@@jas1565 Nah, fam. Her tone was condescending. And, even if it had been in jest, her words undercut what was a very important message from that gentleman. Jokes can cause real harm depending on the circumstance.
@@manqobashongwe1301 lol okay, you're dragging it. Everyone got the message. It's not that serious.
@@jas1565
*It's not that serious.*
But it is. That's why they are having the panel. And she was dismissive to his point under the guise of telling a joke.
@@Jaslath lol again, dragging it. It wasn't dismissive at all. Myself, and other people in the comments, interpreted what he was saying in the same way Kita did. It didn't dismiss what he said, it was a joke about how he was saying it.
I dislike her n I ain't even know her😂😂😂
START GIVEING out sticker's
English Major?
😂😂😂😂 she read my mind
You do realize that you and Kita are the women he's describing right?
IT SHOULD BE MORE MEN CONVERSATIONS ABOUT HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN‼️
Yeah, cause there's a real shortage of content out there telling men what they SUPPOSED to be doing for women...
You can't keep going 'what about the men' every time anyone speaks on how women can improve. First, it's an immature response. Second, it's a deflection. And third, lets imagine that men did do what you want. At that point the scrutiny is going to shift to where women lack anyway.
I agree with Kita on that because the way Stephen explained it sounded like a woman having to praise her man like she is his mother or father. It’s one thing to appreciate your spouse for helping out even when that is their job, but to thank them for doing the bare minimum like their kids is crazy. I can appreciate my husband for going the extra mile or doing things out of the ordinary, but I’m not going to say here’s a cookie every time he takes the trash out.
I dont think he meant that you have to keep doing. I think he meant when we complain about certain things not being done, we address it and compliment the progress. The encouragement is the gas to keep the car running smoothly like we want it.
Having such a heartbreaking mindset like this is so damaging. For a strong and thriving marriage, embracing gratitude, no matter how small, is key. Even the tiniest acts can have a significant impact. Don't wait for grand gestures to express thanks to your husband. Appreciate even the smallest gestures, and he'll feel truly valued and appreciated ♥️.
I'm grateful to my husband for making our bed in the mornings and taking care of the trash. These simple acts mean a great deal to me. He also acknowledges the little things I do, such as making him coffee or picking up his favorite snack at Target. These are just a couple examples but these small gestures are meaningful. 💕
In the time you typed all of this, you could have thanked your man at least once for whatever miniscule task and possibly improved your relationship. Smh.
@Raven.Sunflower beautifully said and put. We all want to feel appreciated, and yeah, those little things still command effort and attentiveness, so like you wrote, why not show appreciation. It's free and goes a long way. Everything does not need to be a grandiose gesture. Great words from you.
@@Raw_Talker I’m so glad that me and my husband do what works in our marriage and I hope that y’all do the same. Take care.
Men do not need to be coddled. I'm a man raised in the 80s and 90s. Our parents didn't coddle us. They showed us that life is and will always be difficult, so you have to develop some assertiveness and backbone. If you don't like the tone your partner speaks with, then you better damn well tell her, otherwise she'll continue to speak to you in that manner. There's no reason whatsoever to be with someone who makes you feel like you have to walk on eggshells. Women respect assertiveness. Notice that I didn't say be mean about it. If she doesn't respect you, then you're wasting your time and her time. Just remember, as a man who's supposed to lead in the way God intended, you better have the kind of character traits that deserve to be respected.
Men always needs to be praised, the when you do it you're being condescending
Shes super toxic
When are men gonna grow up...we grown why do I have to patty cake info for you to listen..stand up stop being so damn emotional ain't nobody got time to baby a grown ass man...if me and my parter trust each other and one of us is giving the other info who cares how it's given as long as you trust who's giving it...he sound stupid and weak...
Well men have been trying to tell women that for ages. Men say all the time who gives af how the message is received if it’s true and women come back and say that our tone be off. But now a man is saying that and now all of a sudden tone no longer matters. Yall are pitiful.🤷🏿♂️
That long ass comment screams
I HAVE MY KIDS AND MY VIBRATOR, I DONT NEEDA MAN.
@@mbonds44well the ladies do love hypocrisy....
Women: "men need to express their emotions more!"
Also women: "stop being so damn emotional!"
Women don't want men to be more emotionally expressive and vulnerable. Y'all only want emotions that are convenient for you. Or you're lying to get us to open up, only so you can gather ammunition to use against us later on.
@@badwolf3618 that’s why I don’t listen to shit women say. They are emotional and wishy washy asf.🤷🏿♂️
Once again, she messed it all up. "Giving out stickers". So insulting. 🧱