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Going 50/50 in Relationships| Splitting Finances | Should the man provide?
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- čas přidán 28. 10. 2020
- #MarriageTips #HealthyMarriage #SplittingBills #5050InFriendships
What's up Life Partner Gang?! We actually recorded it before the internet went nuts over Saweetie's Birkin Bag statement BUT this week we are sharing our take on whether or not men should pay for dates and splitting bills in a relationship. Should the man provide financially? Should it be a 50/50 split? Grab your wine or your popcorn because this will be a good one!
Comment below and let us know if you are for or against the 50/50 finance split.
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I am falling out my chair laughing at the lemonade situation 😂, cause my husband was that guy but he did it on the 3rd date. He never made mw pay for nothing and he took me to nice restaurants. I will also add he looked at me crazy when I only ate half of my lobster 😂😂😂 (he asked for a to go tray). I certainly realized something aint right. We talked for about a month and he saw be backing off, then finally came forward and told me he had been through a divorce and had 2 kids and lost his job. I felt bad for him but still was like naw we just good as friends. I was a former widow when I met him, so I understood the struggle. However, after about 4 months he was back on his feet and came back correct. He not only did the dates right and better, he was buying me dresses and shoes that were my exact size (surprised he knew without me telling him), he took me dancing every weekend, walks on the beach etc. I decided to accept his hand in marriage when I saw what type of father he was and learned his Ex didnt bash him and confirmed she didnt divorce cause he was a deadbeat (it was another reason). ...long story short we had two more kids and been married for 20 years now. He and I dont believe in 50/50. We are traditional, and realistic and it works for us.
Traditional core values never go out of style!! It’s definitely a major component missing (or fading) from today’s relationship I love the fact that you two haven’t lost sight of that, even as a young couple. Keep dropping these gems - I LOVE IT 🖤❤️🖤
Yes the problem is women don't want to be traditional anymore. I know many couples that got together and guy is paying majority of bills and girl is not working or part time and still doesn't want to cook or clean. I know as girl who only gives sex to her bf when he takes her our or buts her gifts and is still paying the bills.
@@georgec8210 I know women like that do exist I just don’t know any personally 🤷🏽♀️
@@davinehill3448 there are some nice women who wouldn't mind sharing or contributing to the bills. Those relationships where everyone does stuff as a team usually works out from what I have seen. When one has way more power than the other like the guys makes a lot more money or the girl is a lot better looking than the guy it usually doesn't last. The pretty girls I know just want to use guys and do the least amount of work possible. Once he stops taking care of there lifestyle they are out. I would love my women to stay home and take care of my place and cook and clean. The 2 girls I dated personally one was not working and I asked her to do it. She said no I am not your slave and told me to hire a nanny. I slept with her for 2 months and kicked her out back to her parents. The other one was working and staying with me but felt she would only pay half the bills and clean and cook if we were married. Her living rent free as my gf was ok and not doing much in her eyes. People are selfish and mostly on care about there needs or wants unfortunately. I worked too hard to get my own place at 27 to get used by a moocher or a women who feels she doesn't have to do anything.
@@davinehill3448 like I said my good friend only gets sex from his girl when he buys her gifts and pays for everything. He is happy
@@georgec8210 again, I’ve seen the best of both. I guess it really just depends on the couple and what they want. That’s why it’s so important to get to know a person BEFORE inviting them into your life and your bed. My son-in-law was raised with traditional values so that is the role he’s comfortable in. My daughter was raised to work had, carry her own weight and be a contributing help meet. This is something they each knew about the other BEFORE they got married which is why it works for THEM and why I am in favor of it. I wish you better luck in your future choices my as you can see, my daughter and son-in-law are a living example that it can and DOES work simply because they respect and uphold one another’s positions. Again, good luck to you 🙏🏽
She is glowing you can tell he’s doing his job.
This. A lot of people who were taught like y’all, do not realize the importance of setting the standard from the beginning. As a woman myself. I have had to learn by trial and error, which has made me stronger as a woman, but has been beyond hard. Y’all are great, I am here for it.
This conversation was too real! Loved it.
Men should invite ladies on dates and pay for the dates. However, if you have been dating a person for a while, the couple can pay for dates any way that both are comfortable with. In terms of a marriage, the husband and wife bring all of their income to the marriage and manage it jointly. It's no more his money and her money. A marriage is not a business arrangement. Both spouses bring their all (emotionally, financially, professionally, etc) into the marriage. The only way for the marriage to be truly successful is for the couple to manage all the money jointly out of one "pot".
This was sooo good! Y’all dropped a WORD! Or two!👏🏾👏🏾 Homeboy making lemonade almost took me out. 🤦🏾♀️
I just came across your video and am crying 😭 literally. It breaks my heart to do 50/50 with my husband
Omg...y’all nailed it on this one! ❤️
I refuse to enter a marriage where my income is required to take care of monthly living expenses. I don't believe in 50/50. A man is supposed to take care of me and our family (everyday finances). My income is meant for making a home, investing, legacy building and travel aventures and experiences. Praying for this.
Each season also requires different percentages from each partner.
@Kim All Naturelle -
Funny how you never mentioned your money taking care of your own personal debts? And funny how you've made it clear "your money" won't be used to help pay into the debts created during the marriage.
You found a man yet?
I thought when you marry someone is goes from my money as individuals to our money as a family.
How is your income making a home when you aren't spending it on shit but you? You're not investing in him. If your marriage was to end, you aren't telling no judge he can have half of the investment/savings.
I guess that's a family that will end up with no legacy nor experiences
50/50 relationships don’t work , that’s one of the main reasons why modern relationships & marriages don’t go so well in this day in age. Our community need to go back to old traditional ways of dating. The man do 100% of his duties and the women do 100% of her duties.
Inflation says otherwise
This isn’t true at all 😂.
Couples who got married in 80s and 90s has more divorce rate than the younger generations. Divorce rates are dropping thanks to millennials. So I think now you know which methods works better.
@@devoywilliams3956 not true what about single men who live alone ? They pay their own bills
@@topsecret22 Statistics says otherwise. You are wrong.
I loved this! Thanks for the gems and insight
If her income is going towards investing then I wouldn’t mind. You can run up a million faster with two incomes than one. If she just using her income for herself and not generation wealth what’s the point.
I think you missed the part where we said everything Tina was make is going straight to savings.
@@LifePartnerGang from a logical perspective does who pay for what make a difference at the end of the day then? Like if she’s able to contribute $4000 a month for savings and investments and the monthly expenses are $4000. 50/50 would be you pay $2000, she pays $2000 and you both contribute $2000 individually into savings which adds up to $4000. You end up with the same result at the end of the day. All the money is going into the same pot so what’s the importance of labeling who’s money goes to what if all the money is for the family at the end of the day?
@@amirbloom4850exactly, they overthink it and make it worse. Money is a reality and if a woman makes as much as her man it makes no sense
Welp! I felt this! I agree 100%.
I really enjoyed this topic!
I’m a millennial. I’m not attracted to men who don’t fully pay for dates or who would require my income to pay a mortgage. It’s a chivalry thing for me. I want to be adored and cared for; otherwise, I can stay single. There’s nothing sexier than a man saying, “I got it” or “I got you, Bae”. Period.
Same sis same. I can and will IF needed but don't make it the expectation. It's not my ministry! LOL
Fool
@@Trumpvoter1 You talking about your name ? Cause it sure is. 😇
@@fizahaque i.voted.for.trump and will do it again in 2024
@@Trumpvoter1 im praying you don't get a wife like Melanie 😂💀
best chat i have seen on this topic :) thank you so much!
50/50 is nonsense. If you're in a relationship check in with your partner and see where they are at and do what's necessary. We are supposed to have each others back. Relationships are not robotic. We need to be flexible
Amen
I agree with 50/50 in relationships, everyone want to talk traditional and no one is traditional, times changed, back in the day a man could pay all the bills,work one job and woman be at home and take care of children.
REALLY?? 50/50. I doubt it. He cooks, cleans. Makes sure the Bills are paid?? Checks the Fridge see what's missing?? Goes grocer shopping. Gets clothes for their Kids?? Don't think so. Ps. He can't afford to buy me a Meal?? What future can we have. Ok. We won't have Lobster... Take me where you can afford. Please don't tell Women to SPLIT the Bill. He should be honored that you accepted!! 20...30 or 75!!
Great VIDEO!! You want to hang out with her... You should pay for it!!
What I’ve concluded about the 50/50 scam is the woman always loses. They’re saying SAHW are slaves to men but the real slaves are the women working long hours like their husbands, going 50/50, rearing children and splitting chores and still have to give up sex. Let’s be real, sex becomes a chore for a woman after doing half of everything. Talk about dark circles and wrinkles at the age of 40.
@@Dr.Beetlejuice110 50/50 but when he comes home from work he expects his WIFE whose also worked 7 hours to prepare DINNER!!
@@Dr.Beetlejuice110 The point is no relationship/marriage is 50/50. One person will always do more work than the other.
Yay.... yall are back💗🎉💗
This is 🔥🔥. Such a good topic.
Investment in your Time, Energy and Money Such a great Topic
His mindset is 🔥🔥. He carried this conversation. It’s so good that he wants to teach his children this! That is very attractive in a man. It’s not performative, it’s who he is!
Great podcast!
This was really good and I agree: husband and wife don’t function as roommates. So glad James also mentioned that if you can’t afford dinner then this isn’t your season to date. How can you provide for her? What will you do besides become a new burden for her? Me and my husband have struggled before and that’s different but to want to date and can’t afford it is appalling to me! Let me just add I got some pearls on getting my little self together too #SpoiledWife 😂
Why is it his job to provide for you and not your job to provide for him?
@@bluesloose2606 if you want to be respected as a man by your woman do what a man has always done which is provide
@@nimanixo ok but can’t I say the exact same thing about you? If you want to be respected by men then you should provide for them
@@bluesloose2606 The same reason it's the woman's job to be pregnant, give birth and nurse.
God himself bought me to this video. My man and I have been living together for a year and a half and half been going half on everything. It was cool at first but now I'm feeling more like a roommate than a significant other. We have to have that talk..
Have been*
Lmao sucks ain’t shit free in this world keep working or live by yourself your not a little kid
Are you going to continue to work
@@dortcharmy11 I own 3 business brother man😂🤦🏾♂️
@@freebandglitch8618 I'm starting to understand why older men are saying get a passport
A man expecting a women from my community to pay for a date especially the first is looked down upon. I’m not going to fight about it while dining but even if I feel like I’m being tested to pay I would but it would be the final date and an insult to my fathers house hold. I recommend men date on their level or wait to acquire more resources to get the women they really want. Dates don’t have to be expensive just well thought.
It’s not about the $200 first date it’s about figuring out is worth your time or money
If your not sure...don't ask her out!!
I agree. A woman wants to feel taken care of.
AND protected!
everybody wants to feel taken care of
everybody wants to feel special
we're all human at the end of the day regardless sex
Love it ❤️
It was ok to beat a woman with a broom stick back in the day. Don't pick and choose which traditions you want to hold onto.
This was definitely a topic more people need to hear.
I need a husband like this. He gets it!
Half is cheap, my son's pay for dates, as it should be,
If you can’t afford to date don’t do it.
Get your funds together first!!! Felt that
This conversation was really good. It’s interesting to see how your view on a man providing does not preclude him from being a full partner in parenting and taking care of the home. I truly hope the men and women who need to hear this find this message. I feel so blessed to be married to a godly man who leads and provides sacrificially with confidence. I’ve been a SAHM for 6.5 years and it’s been the most humbling experience of my entire home.
Yoooo... the lemonade story and asking for cashapp! Those can’t be real 😂😂😂 omg! Noooooo.
Interesting topic, but from a marriage perspective, I think it's a topic that can't be discussed in isolation.
It's all well and good for the higher earner (usually the man) to take financial responsibility for the household and the family, but what responsibilities is the other party willing to take ownership of?
This was so good! I really appreciate this perspective. I was raised by a single mom who did everything. After seeing the toll that took on her, I knew that I would break that cycle. I believe in a man being a protector, a provider and having good character. I am also passionate about my career and being entrepreneurial. I just feel more secure when a man provides and knows how to treat a woman with care. I have tried being in a 50/50 relationship and it absolutely did not work. My man absolutely needs to be a provider as a standard.
@@Dr.Beetlejuice110 you're not expected to understand. You're not Him. Move along.
@@Dr.Beetlejuice110 it cost you nothing to mind the business that pays you. You don't need to comment if you don't agree. What do you get out of saying rude things to me? Nothing. Move along.
I've been asked out on a 1st date and at the end he sprung on me the so we're splitting. I was in shock
I love y’all
We love you back
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
10:03 y’all letting guys pick y’all up on the first date? I’m taking my own car
💯💯💯
Yes. Women have no idea the " pick you up" in some cases is a predator tactic.
This was a great conversation! I love seeing this beautiful black dynamic a god and goddess truly! 🤍☺️
I think it’s kind of funny how stay at home women don’t want to cook and clean all the time but they want men to provide all the time, now I’m not saying a man can’t help cook and clean because he should but the same way these women feel men also feel like that when they have to work everyday while the women is home but as a man you just have to man up and provide.
nah i don't think that is the right way to put it, my mom was a housewife for her whole life. my dad worked 24/7 and took on 2 jobs. both roles were very specific with my dad helping her out on the weekends when he wasn't working. cause being a housewife is a full time job. now that me and my brother are older, she took on a job for the first time in her live and works harder than ever before. my dad notices this and i think because they are both genuinely selfless and want the best for eachother, they truly just yolk together. my father helps her with chores rn, more than ever. and this motivates me as a daughter to even work harder for not just myself, but also them so i can repay them. idk if it's a family thing, but being able to give. is really amazing if you know how to do it. it's so worth it. and it just shows that your children will have something to look up to as well, just set the example you wish you had ygm?
Some will ask you to pay everything and feel disrespect if you ask them to cook so you now learn how to cook, clean take care of the kids and if you say something you become controlling or a narcissism loll new era
This conversation is a bit disingenuous. Firstly, the question isn’t is 50/50 perfectly possible. No balance is perfect. The question is should it be aimed at? Like driving we’re never perfectly center, but we aim at keeping center.
Secondly, feminism introduced the concept of 50/50 so it’s not from weak men.
Thirdly, All healthy relationships have balance. However 50/50 refers specifically to equal breadwinning. The question is should modern relationships expect both partners to contribute FINANCIALLY to the family expenses?
"Should modern relationships expect both partners to contribute finically to the family expenses?" - No, that's the man's job. If the woman does contribute, it should be a small percentage....not 50%.
@@mimia.4810 I agree. Let me ask you though, what should the women contribute more than men?
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Me and wife been 50/50 for 10 years, we are doing jus fine!!! Wats the problem?
Hell if I’m paying all the bills I don’t need to be with one woman i can pay all the bills an see who I want when I want
Black love y’all dope🔥
I think this conversation is good but I think there both wrong when it comes to dating and marriage. I feel that your asking men to be traditional but the women can pick choose to be traditional or modern.
That a happen to me all I had was a wings and one drink bill came he went to bathroom when I paid he came back mind you I bought him 3 blooms and a birthday card🎉he only order free water I'm scared to date now I always keep money one thank God
Are women looking for a partner (someone who can build WITH them) or a dad (a man to take care of them)?
A partner? Are we playing a team sport? Are you looking for a roommate that you can bend over or you're looking for your mommy? This is about the very act that you want to do with a woman's body, is the same act that creates mouths to feed. That's the point. When you slip up or want to not be the responsible party for your actions, those same actions become a huge problem for the woman and society as a WHOLE. Then how does that 50-50 look then? Vomiting every morning? Ohh she is but you're feeling great. Swollen ankles? Nope your ankles feel great! Having to now wear clothes 3 times your size? Nope you're fitting your clothes just fine. See where I''m going with that? 50-50 doesn't work because it really just doesn't work. Then you'll be on that " you know she got me on child support" as if she somehow got herself pregnant because you didn't want to wear a sleeve. It always comes back to the same issue and it just gets worse. Now she's standing in a welfare line begging for society's crumbs all because your pull out game isn't what you thought it was. My point is someone is going to pay. Then when you're in a neighborhood where everyone had that same mentality that "I'm doing me" yet dragging women through the ringer, you're more worried about getting shot or stabbed on your way to pick up diapers for a woman you really don't even like but again. It all comes full circle. Look up "The Inheritance of Poverty: It's The Men". That's the whole point. If women keep their standards higher then all society benefits because the men strive for better which means everyone lives better!
czcams.com/video/X0Dfw-yeZQA/video.html
@@Dr.Beetlejuice110 Cool story bro, needs more dragons!
Dads honestly
He's the kind of man I need. They don't make them like this anymore. I can't respect any man who wants to go 50/50. I need a man, I can get a roommate.
Then you’re basically his child, go cook and clean
Back at home even a man who is not well off if he asks a woman for a date, they will go and get corn maize roasted by a hawker on the roadside with a soda and they go to the park to enjoy themselves and the man pays for the date it's shocking when I hear Men say we go 50/50 some don't even pay for the date and yet they are the ones who initiated for the date
I agree with all of what you says about having a wife and kids, no one should have to wait for anything to be done in the house, only that which you don't want your wife to do, like doing the gardening, garbage, vacuuming if needed. I love you two. I am a prime example for majority of this. Don't wait on my wife to do anything.
I do 50/50 with myself!!
Or they'll ask you how much the Uber is knowing damn well they're not gonna pay for it. SMDH!!!
When a woman wants to go out to eat, who is supposed to pay
She needs to pay for her own food or pay for the both of you because it's her decision.
You both want each other, So you both should pay. I do think she should get paid if she does everything.
I agree if we're in a relationship, that means we're in this together, so we both should be paying. No person should be paying 100% in a relationship. Paying %100 leads to confrontation and control.
@@CAdams93 do you think the house work should be shared?
@@marquissmith8121 yes I believe if we're both paying, we both should do work around the house . Man should do the manly chores and woman do the women chores.
I've never been the one to pay all the bills. If I pay all the bills , then she better be able to cut the grass and do all the manly work also. Men shouldn't have to pay for everything everything, women are brainwashed.
So gender roles while dating, then no gender roles when married🤔seems arbitrary.
This guy is wrong and is catering to his female audience. Simple. Just ridiculous, and if I saw him, I would tell him.
💯💯💯💯💯💯
just say you ain’t got it
@@bbydoll1222 what does he have that I want? Even if you were right, I wouldn't tell you. I respect your public opinion, but you're assumptions are irrelevant.
You only talked about money, there is much more to it… boring
Well since finances are one of the #1 reasons for divorce then it seems wise for married couples to discuss this topic.
My man why don't you just say "it ain't tricking if you got it"... It's obvious who runs this relationship and the dude is certainly not in that race.
I agree, these men think paying all the bills will get their girl to be more submissive, while it's some other dude sleeping with her for free lol 😂.
I appreciate the video, however please look more into the camera, can’t trust you or your share if u dont look into camera, sorry my friend, respectively.
This brother been out of the dating scene far too long to have an opinion on current day courting. Even my own mother, who is 70 and has 3 daughters, had to tell me to chill out during the courting stage due to the cost of dates for women who may not even really be interested. This was summer 2021.
Since then, I have been able to take additional trips overseas using the money (I was going on 2 to 3 dates per month at average of $200 per date) I would've wasted buying trying to court someone on a date.
Pay your half so your man can't just make you leave.
He sounds like a guy who makes good money. A white collar guy. Who probably doesn't know or want to work with his hands. In when u make good money you can afford to do certain things. I do wonder how much time he spends on himself. Working out/playing basketball building model planes lol etc or does he devote his time to cooking and working all the time.
Love this narrative. I’d just like to add: a man needs to be able (and WILLING) to stand on his own and pay his own rent. If you are simply dating and you’re staying over at his place or you move in with him, don’t pay half his rent/utilities unless you guys have plans to get married and join finances. If he asks you to move in (while dating), he shouldn’t expect you to pay half - otherwise, he’s looking for a roommate and someone who can help ease his financial responsibilities. Also, women shouldn’t act like a wife if he hasn’t proposed - don’t cook, clean, do laundry and do the ‘pick me’ dance. Like Judge Lynn Toler said, don’t give him wifely duties on girlfriend prices.
I completely agree with the roommate stance!
Well said!
Omg tell this man to create videos to teach men how to treat women! Please.
Bs to the world
SO much cap on this dam video
Y'all didn't study or have any other opinions
He is a beta male, you can tell she call the shots in the relationship