10 Mistakes That Make People Use You
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- čas přidán 30. 06. 2024
- Have you ever noticed that a good person isn't often well respected? Psychologists believe the reason is mistakes these people make in their behavior. Here’re the most common mistakes you probably do so that people don’t respect you and never listen to you.
TIMESTAMPS
Needless self-sacrifice 0:40
A lack of self-respect 1:30
Seeking approval from others 2:11
Thinking that the problem is only yourself 2:54
Showing off 3:43
A fear of rejection 4:23
Being deaf to your interests 5:09
You don’t limit what’s acceptable 6:00
A fear of loneliness 6:43
You believe you need to earn respect 7:33
SUMMARY
- Don’t be afraid to tell the world about what you don’t like. Actually, it might cost people nothing to meet you halfway. Otherwise, your needless self-sacrifice won’t be noticed by anyone at all.
- If someone behaves in a way that they don’t give a damn about you, it means they really don’t. Don’t look for excuses for rude people - they don’t deserve it.
- You don’t need to be told you’re a good person to be one. Also, don’t be scared of criticism. People will criticize you all the time for anything you do, for one reason or another.
- There is no point in looking for someone to blame. Torturing yourself won’t bring you any love from others, but only pity.
- You can show you are worth something only by believing in yourself and being yourself. When you know your value, you don’t need to prove it to anyone.
- Don’t be afraid to say "no." Even the nicest people in the world may try to use you if you allow them to. Help others only when you want to.
- Learn to listen to your desires, and don’t be afraid of offending others. Normally, our fears don’t have a basis in reality, and it’s always possible to find a compromise.
- You need to determine the limits of acceptable behavior, and don’t let others overstep these boundaries. People who agree to anything are not respected.
- You don’t need to choose between your relationship and your self-worth. When others force you to make that choice, then something is going wrong. Be brave, and don’t be afraid of change.
- You don’t need to "buy" love or respect. Learn to love and be loved unconditionally.
Can you easily find a common language with others? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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Hey guys! How well are you able to get along with other people?
BRIGHT SIDE hello. 👋 😃
very bad 😂😂
BRIGHT SIDE not well. They always want something.
I don't know. I will ask someone tomorrow and might come back to you.
BRIGHT SIDE I'm all of this That's why I Download your video because this is how I am but because of your message in the video now more then ever I love myself and I don't let people put me down anymore really thank you for this video and happy New year
They say be yourself
After that they judge you
Wolfie Girl omg 😂 true true
Wolfie Girl ikr 😂😂😂
Yeah but we should try to grow as well, and that means to change over time. It's not that you're not being true to yourself, but that you're learning and evolving as a person. If someone is often rude or judgemental, saying that they're just being themselves is just an excuse for them to not try to be better.
I should not be my self of I was I would have No friends and even more boring to be with
No one who is really themselves is boring. When you are your real self, you're enthusiastic about what you like and what's important to you, and not afraid to pursue your dreams, and not a wallflower doing nothing for fear of embarrassing yourself. People are attracted to that kind of person. Partly because they wish they could be more like you. Also you will attract people with similar interests and values because you recognize each other instead of hiding yourself from those who would actually really like you.
#9 I had a woman bump into me with her shopping cart at the store. It wasn't hard, didn't hurt, she said sorry, I said no problem and started to walk away. At this time she flew into a rage and started screaming at me that she didn't hit me that hard and there was no need to "fake limp". At first I was a bit confused. had no clue what she was talking about because it's something I almost never think about. I've had a limp my ENTIRE life.
By now everyone had noticed her screaming and they were all looking at us, so I said, calmly but loudly enough for everyone to hear, "Oh, I'm not limping because you bumped into me. I'm limping because I have a fake leg."
I'd like to know why people seem to have this need to call out every little offense they think is being made at them. This woman clearly didn't see me before she bumped into me, she only saw me walking AFTER the accident. She assumed that I was fake limping to make her look bad, when in reality she was very likely the only one who saw my limp. Even if she wasn't, why assume it was a personal attack. I really had no reason to make her look bad, and frankly I would have seen it as a waste of time and effort.
Even if I was making a personal attack, it was so small and petty she could have ignored it and forgot it happened 5 minutes later. The only reason I remember it now is because she yelled at me.
Eric Taylor oh wow i hate when things like that happen! people shouldn't start just making a scene over something when they dont even know what the person could have. she was very rude for doing that and she should think before just screaming out! im sorry about that
Wow, how mortified and humbled she must have been! I bet she won't forget that interaction with you, either; it was a valuable experience for her to learn from.
horsepanther
A woman humbled!
Ha!
Not on this planet!
I thought so too.
Must have been EPIC ... her face, after you responded to her.
Before 1 n half years ago I have stopped myself being used by others and the results come out with
1. I have increased my points in the exam because I got more time to study
2. I have enough money to spend on me ( I went 3 expensive places to travel for 2 months in last one n half years)
3. People stated appreciation me for if I do anything better than other’s
4. Many people want to be with me
5. They want suggestions from me before exam of course.....
6. I am much more happier than before
All of them happens because I have stopped being used and started saying "NO"......Isn’t it magical?
I have faced some problems also
1. Lost some of my old friends what I used to think they are...
2. They started saying a lot of bad things about me but I didn’t care
3. They started to misdirected me what I have handled well by avoiding
4. I had to be alone in the festivals but I have enjoyed the best times with strangers in the disco...
All of them what they did made me more determined and strong....
Good job km maruf sounds like you’re doing well. 👍🏾
Don't worry those friends that talked bad about you were not real friends
I commend you.
@@Capcoor thanks for your comment due to u I could find out about what's going wrong with my life.....
Stop being too kind hoping others will treat you the same way. People are respected when they're self-confident and self-loving. Being too kind is often interpreted as subservience - that doesn't lead to respect.
I'm not disagreeing with you but I'm not taking advantage of you I love your comment
Yes this is very true
That's why I stopped being too kind
Yeah
Wow exactly man
Watched this and started seeing myself...... changes need to be made
i see myself too, all of that i do.. now i know...
Vincent Peter Same here, like my relationship.🤦🏼♀️
Same here. Too much to change, so much effort and work to be done. ;-;
Vincent Peter same here 😩😩😩
I feel you ;-;
Great tips. But just to make something clear... It is not YOUR mistake if people use you. People should never use or disrespect others. The mistake is theirs. Don't let this video make you feel as if you deserve being used by others if you make these "mistakes".
Good point. This video is about tips for handling people who use you (things you have some control over in your own behavior), but it shouldn't make people feel like they are the problem. And feeling like that is probably part of how they got into the situation.
I believe in the Law of Attraction. If you show up as a door mat, then the types of people who take advantage tend to keep showing up in your life. Awareness that you are doing it, can allow you to recognize it and start to make change. Kindness and generosity are great, but there's a balance.
Helone Broon First time it is others fault, second it is yours.
Cause you must stop others when try to abuse you
it is your fault. You allow people to take advantage of you. It can be stopped by saying no or if need be cutting from you life. You make the choice to stay around them and to continue to except their behavior. I'm not stating that it is ok that people are trying to take advantage of you. Its not ok, but it does happen and only the person being taken advantage of can actually stop it. Just like its your choice on how you react to things some one says or does it is your choice to let them take advantage of you.
Helone Broon No offense but thats a fantasy, we humans tend not to respect easily usable people automatically, if you are able to get in their head then others can too, thats a major weakness and its foolish to say you're not responsible for it. Grow up and define yourself, dont let others do the job for you.
I'm glad I changed all these habits!!! It has left me alone! But I love it! And now I'm ready to meet new people who share the same interests as me!
Same here but I do enjoy my own company , i just sit there and judge people silently .
You are alone, but free, meaning you are free to do whatever you want, which includes meeting people.
Do your thing Jazzy
Some of the best decisions I have ever made in life were selfish. I don't care if they hurt others cause they wouldn't care about my feelings either. I learned that we have to learn to put ourselves first cause nobody else will.
I agree!
" Ouch!" "Sorry!" "Buy me coffee! >:D " "What ;-; "
Sofie Loves Chocolate XD
Sofie Loves Chocolate Flirting level at 10000
Sofie Loves Chocolate Ikrrr 😂
Sofie Loves Chocolate ...u could just shot them on the spot and don't ask them to buy u coffee...joking 😁
ok
"Even the nicest people in the world may try to use you if you allow them to!" Good. Good. Wise words!
says "created to serve" lol
there's different between real nice ppl and fake nice ppl, real ones will never think of using others while fake ones are the example of most ppl nowadays
I think im a toxic friend. I mean, I knew I was a bad person...but now I know I'm awful. I'm so clingy, jealous, and I show off...a lot. what should I do? I think my "friends" hate me secretly...and it's making me so sad. I'm probably just gonna stay away from them and try not to bother them. I know that no one cares about this comment and probably aren't gonna respond...but I just needed somewhere to write my feelings in a way I will feel like I have talked to someone because I don't want to bother my "friends". But please help. I don't know what to do in this situation.
you can try being honest and asking them. thats the only way you'd know
Yeah I also think she should talk to them first and ask if there is something that they all can work on to improve their relationship
THE OLDER I GET THE LESS I CARE WHAT SOMEONE THINKS OF ME!...
Curtistine Miller Now that’s the answer .
Keep this in mind while making sure everything at work gets taken care of.
xisobelx373 YEAH SOME PEOPLE. JUST HAVE THAT QUALITY..GOOD FOR YOU!.I SALUTE. YOU FOR THAT....
xisobelx373 I agree with the kids not playing with each other like before it really sad, it's not healthy as will.
Ask yourself what others thinks of you. And then ask yourself how it´s changing your world? Perhaps how it would change it if they thought of you differently.
“You can get me a cup of coffee.” Well that escalated quickly.
why should i? you can get it yourself... hahaha
🤣🤣
Hahhahahaahhahahaha
"Some of them want to use you.
Some of them want to be used by you.
Some of them like to abuse.
Some of them like to be abused."
What song is that from I love the verse
Cookies n Cream The song is "Sweet Dreams". I don't remember the group name now, but THIS SONG'S TOO GOOD! And the lyrics fit with this video really well!
Satanism is Cancer AHHHH!! No!!! It's now stuck in my head again! Oh well. I love that song. =P
Good song indeed!!!
the group is "Eurythmics"
the song name is ''Sweet Dreams'' (Are made of this...)
lyrics;
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody is looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.
I want to used you and abused you
I want to know what's inside
Moving on hold your head,
Moving on keep your head,
Moving on hold your head,
Moving on keep your head,
Moving on hold your head,
Moving on keep your head,
Moving on.
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused
I gotta use you and abuse you
I gotta know what's inside
I gotta use you and abuse you
I gotta know what's inside you
Satanism is Cancer I sang that in my head 😂😋
Watched this and suddenly I realised just how much people are taking advantage of me. I need to change.
PuteriNurin Syazwani you don't need to change because of a freaking video. You are incredible as is, and if people are taking advantage of you, maybe they weren't really your friends to begin with. Be yourself, but don't be afraid to give the middle finger to those who don't appreciate you:)
PuteriNurin Syazwani same
Honestly this video described me 100% I need to stand up for myself lol
PuteriNurin Syazwani same
PuteriNurin Syazwani
I watched this only once and realized I was being taken advantage of. I need to start saying no more, even though I’m shy..
"When you know your value, you don't need to prove it to anyone"
Media and marketing are afraid that people will truly understand that phrase one day. Precisely, the toxic need of proving to others you're the best and have the best... is what make gazillions of money to all kind of companies.
Sad, but true.
stranger accidentally steps on foot
*buy me a coffee*
lol
Creekeh
Best thing to do...
Creekeh Why not. Its flirty.
Good pick up line with the right tone
Creekeh 😂😂😂😂right I saw that too.
I am deeply crying inside! I had to break my heart twice to understand simple truths from this video. I know that next time comes a test and this time it is my responsibility to pass it. God , keep me safe! thank you for this video. Send my love to me and you.
lets be friends
If someone disrespect you, it's more to do with that person rather than yourself. Respect others not because of how good they are, respect others because of how good you are.
That was beutyful
*respect for yourself first and all others second*
Oooo yaaa Kabir
Jasmine Len
There's a difference between respect and common decency. Everyone deserves common decency. Even if they misbehave, there is a common decent way of setting them straight. But respect has to be earned.
Jasmine Len wow, where are all the people here in my neighborhood lol
This thread is full of some of the best people and deep thinkers.
The Bible actually says that it's important to forgive others even if you have to do it 490 times, but there's a difference between forgiving them and continuing to trust them. If you don't forgive them, you'll just end up with a grudge that will hold you back in life. Just remember that forgiveness is not the same as trust. I've had to forgive people who have hurt me in the past in order to move on with my life, but it is very likely that I will never trust them again.
You make such a good point. Forgiving someone doesn't mean going back to the abusive relationship you used to have with them. You can forgive someone and never see them again. Thanks for that clarification :-)
Angel Watcher ..you sre ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. We can & should forgive abusers .. But NEVER TRUST THEM AGAIN.
This.. Yess
Yeah, forgiving someone is actually for our benefit. So we don't drag unforgiveness, bitterness around coz it can make us sick, unhealthy. Plus God said if we don't forgive others for their sins against us, God won't forgive us.
That caught me off guard... I always forgive people...
absolutely true! I used to be one of those MS nice. Simply is because that's how I was raised by my wonderful grandmother. She taught us that, when you respect people, you will also be respected. Oh Lord me!! I just realized it's opposite according to the standard of living of this century.I got so much traumatized by all sorts of empty jars. This includes Narcissists,Sociopaths, Energy Vampires etc.. I am glad that I worked really hard to come out of the ditch and now I'm free.
I have a twin sister and she is the most confident and selfish person you will ever meet. I just moved in with her recently and I'm amazed by her behavior, she is the last person anyone will ever take advantage of. Me, on the other hand, I am a self sacrificing empath with too much love and tolerance for others. I need to find a balance as it is almost better to be selfish than to be too kind to people, because even good people will eventually take advantage of you. I just got out of a relationship with a narcissist and he always took advantage of the fact that I hated being lonely, on my birthday he left me stranded and alone and I decided that was the last straw I walked away and never looked back. I couldn't see my worth back then, thank you for making this video!
Juanita Jimenez I understand what you are saying completely, I myself have an issue with being lonely. I made the biggest mistake by braking up with the most amazing girl I have ever met. She in fact has most of the things showed in the video, always caring more about others instead of herself. I never supported her and I was the one always pushing and pushing. I feel so much regret because I feel that I was the one to use her the most and I now realize that I must just support her no matter what. I use to try and do anything to make her happy but she said I'm trying to change who she is. I'm going to send this video to her hoping she can have piece by practicing what is taught here and hopefully be happy with who she is and not allow someone walk all over her as I did.
ps. we broke up on new years and it is the 3rd today at 03:01 AM and I can't sleep because I know I can change myself for her. we dated for 3 years and 7 months and in the last year I have proposed to her and then I brake if off. I was such an idiot by braking it off because I know now I can not live without her.
Sorry I'm telling you all about my story I know the video said I mustn't but I'm not talking about what caused the brake up so I hope this is fine.
Thank you Bright side you guys have opened my eyes to how I can make her happy again by me watching what I do to make sure I don't use her.
Juanita Jimenez you can do that or u can be like your sister
It's not better to be selfish! Luck for finding the balance in the Force.
0nly Men are Narcissistic???
Some people fake their behavior leading people to think they're more well adjusted than they actually are. The truth be told, the majority of us fall into the category of insecure humans that think they'll never be good enough. The old 'I'm not worthy mantra.
People always used to ask me if I wanted anything and I would always shake my head. I never told anyone no and put up with everything. One day I had just had three exams and my sister kept insulting my friends and me because she though I wouldn't say anything and I just snapped. I actually say when I need something now, and people don't use me as much.
I'm working on my self-esteem and I've actually been able to be myself.
Life was on the darkest part until I knew what self respect is. Now I know what my value is and it has been only key to my happiness
Hinny Percabeth Dramione, I do the same thing.
keep up the good work, you should be proud of yourself
Good, but also use your brain, you can't always be blunt with folks, sometimes you have to ignore the dumb and unreasonable.
What did you do to your sister?
Being friendly and trusting is a sure way to get someone to take advantage of you in the worse possible way. It is best to interact with humans only in a manner as a client would interact with a service provider or a merchant. The days of true friendship are over. The 21st century human is not capable of true friendship and love. Beware of people that seem they want to know you. The only thing they want to know from you is what they can take. Beware someone showing a romantic interest in you. That person is only interested in taking all they can from you as well but with the added twist of destroying you emotionally. Being social is putting yourself in danger. There are far worse things than being lonely. Try to make a friend, or a mate, and you will likely find out. You have been warned.
Well said😍
Unfortunate, but these days this is accurate
This happen to me...
So true happens every single time even your own kids
Thankyou... Am gonna follow this from now on. 🤗Am tired of people being rude and manipulative who have always take advantage of my kindness and friendliness..I used to worry about why people dont treat me the way I treat them and I thought may b I was wrong cause I always believed that 'treat someone how you wanted to be treated'.. looks like I should change my motto
Now I understand why I feel used so often
Believe me I can relate to what your saying, but it's not your fault, it really isn't, it's theirs. It's happened to me quite a bit when I was younger. And it happened again recently. I learned quite a painful lesson this time around, in fact it has been the most excruciatingly painful lesson of my life but I survived. You did too. The video simply shows how and why kind people get used and taken advantage of by others and offers insight to keep from happening any longer.
@@pamelallopez6568 ooh same 😮
I'm way too nice to everyone & I sometimes hate it because in most of my friendships it's a give & take relationship (good right?) nope, because I'm always the one giving & never the one taking
Your good for that.
Your good for not taking I guess
o ooh I'm nice but I can not take these things I'll get mad
• Taylor Nicole • same.
NOT-NICE
hi
I used to have all these traits, but now I am slowly growing out of them!
SAYA Congratulations! I should change myself too
How
SAYA Amen, I Am At My Wits End. It Is So Draining Trying To Always Cover EveryOne When They Hang You Out To Dry😫
Congrats! I'm still working on it.
I am trying hard to get away with these habits.
does it make me more respectable that I'm at peace with being alone?
Yes it does. But you still need to surround yourself with people that love you, value you, appreciate you and make you happy. The most important thing is to be happy
i'd say pretty much normal ....
i think i did all of those mistake everyday 😂😂 and now i understand why i'd never have any friends. Thank you bright side 😊
Alyssa Jusuf me too
Alyssa Jusuf same
Alyssa Jusuf okie hope u get friends
8:33 Well i think there's a mistake of life... lif
Alyssa Jusuf WHAT DID I TELL YOU
This would explain why I have such a hard time making any decisions. I'm so used to doing what others want, I have no idea what I want or like. College is a big example. People always ask me "What do you want to do? Go with your interests, or something you would enjoy doing." The thing is I don't even know what I want and I don't enjoy anything, I just do things to pass the time.
Kreg, what you're describing about having difficulty making decisions, and also not enjoying anything, are two issues that are common symptoms of depression. You might investigate further and see if you feel like that's a problem for you, because if so, helping the depression will dramatically improve your life so you can enjoy life and pursue something that you feel passionate about instead of feeling so flat.
Kreg I am the same as you. 😢
Kreg You should be asking yourself what are the small things you look forward to, and what are the everyday things you enjoy. If nothing else you can always study something that sounds like fun to you/fulfilling, even if you don't necessarily have an interest in it or have even done it before. I actually greatly considered going into agriculture/gardening, because it sounds very fulfilling and I like the idea of physical work. Once you think of something you might like, try to envision yourself doing that for the rest of your life and if you still like it you could look further into it.
Kreg I'm also having the same problem as this..
Same. :(
Don't have to bother...
Be kind
Not manipulative!
When you are secure, you don't go looking to be noticed or acknowledged!
6:34 Thank you. There are bullies at my school, and every time they bully me i think that "Oh they must have something going on at home i feel bad." But now i learned they have no exuse for bullying me, and i will stand up to them.
Please do hun. Most of the bullies are not necessarily suffering in anyway at home. They just bully you because they enjoy it. Because they know you wont stand up for yourself.
hey what if someone got bullied at my school and i see that everyday, but i started fresh at school with no problems and i dont wanna get in a trouble with them, but they are so mean to the girl, do i stand up and defend her even if they are gonna cause me troubles for the next 2 years?
pls reply
Be careful
@@louiselavigne5085 I would inform an authority figure such as a teacher whoever is on yard duty. I wouldn't want you to be in harm's way and if they are bullying one person they might also bully others. I hope this helps.
@@louiselavigne5085 ..if u were the girl--what would u want ?
i always wonder that what have i done to deserve disrespect, i feel like i help others and respect them and kind but i dont get enough respect. so now everything makes sense here
Musa Ibrahim true
Kindness is not weakness. To me, its shows how you can take a bullet. Strength lies in the heart and perseverance not the ego.
So true dude so true
I feel the same
Yes! Always be your self. Don't give a f about anyone else think. Stop being kind if you only wanted them to do in return. Sometimes we'll reap what we sow in nice way, but people are different. If they don't respect us, it's easy.. leave them like that. We cannot change anyone. What we can do is loving ourselves, give respect to ourselves and be happy all the time, by being our best self and don't waste time to think about others opinions. Be kind to yourself enough ♥️ and accept you for who you are. Accept the differences in our lives.
"ouch!"
"sorry!"
"You can get me a cup of coffee!"
"sure!"
SLAVERYYYY!!!!!!
Minnah4 AJ pfffft XD
wot?
Minnah4 AJ he left out a question mark
You can get me a cup of coffee?
Technoultimategaming no it was actually a "." (hate saying "." because it isn't the same every where)
It is weird that this channel is called "Bright Side," when it covers so many dark topics.
yes it covers dark topics, but it doesn't leave you there, it helps you get to back to the bright side!
Symbolic much?
I told my father the door is over there. it didn't go so well.
I need a home of my own in order to be able to show the door to anyone...
Cristiana Nicolae lol
If you are still in the house... It actually did go well
@@eeaotly not to your boss though
Then, the deal is, you start making your own money and bide your time. When the time is right, and you can do it safely and to your betterment, you find the door and go through it yourself and get away from this man that does not and probably never will respect you. A father that doesn't respect his children doesn't deserve them. Let him be alone with that to think over his life.
after seeing this i realised how i made mistakes in my life being too good to others while they manipulated me for my kindness.. i need to change now.. people take me for granted because i give them their space n im available for them because i love my people, i love to b around them.. well i have to change now.
I've been there before.
Magic Dragon Gaming Wow lol
I was just thinking that most of these are me, bar a few.
Elisha bae
Agree, so am I.
0:52 Take 'you' time
Looool
BeRt the Tomato LOL
xxDDDDDDDDDD
BeRt the Tomato
Grammar OCD 👍
lol I don't have Grammer ocd. Just being funny
Fortunately, I don't make any of those mistakes. On the contrary, I don't need to be accepted by anyone but myself
Oh well you’re just mr perfect huh
Good attitude brother!
@@tiffanykershpalmer2143 right? And watching this video lol.
You are what you are. No need of other approvals..
U're the complete opposite of me :(
Feel like im on a different planet from others
Same here
Same
Can I have the award for "Most usable person of the century"?
Get in line. I get the feeling there are a lot of people like that here lol.
De Awesome One xD oh darling why
De Awesome One xD No its mine 😂
De Awesome One xD same mate xD
De Awesome One xD
Wow, I really hope this video helped you >~
I used to be like this- now I yell at people who try to use me 😂
Yelling is not the way.
JIMIN secretly has jams You guys are everywhere (Army) 😂😂
JIMIN secretly has jams
Jimin has no Jams😑😂Namjoon wrecked my Jungkook bias😞❤️
JIMIN secretly has jams lucky you.... I'm still shy and people step all over me. I'm gonna try to stand up for myself now. (Few months later ,never stands up for myself ) 😂it's easier said than done honestly
JIMIN secretly has jams you got no jams
Wow, I really needed to see this today! I just was "rejected " by my boyfriend, and I took ALL the blame. I also in the past have allowed others to use me. I will be taking notes on this one. My self esteem is low, and this is a Godsend. Thank you 💜🧡💛
When i bump into some one i just say an immidiate sorry then leave
"Lend me money!" "No." "Okay." When has this ever happened in real life? Especially if these two are brothers. Knowing from personal experience, the older brother would give the smaller guy endless noogies to get the money, or just steal it themselves. I mean, bruh, c'mon! Nobody is refused money just says, "okay". That doesn't happen.
I've discovered something funny. When I repeatedly refuse as they beg for over half an hour, they eventually give up. Then they immediately throw off the mask, get really angry and call me all sorts of cuss words. This is when I smile or laugh in they face and know I've won. Do this a few times and they won't bother you any more.
That never happened before.
"Can you lend me some money?"
"Nah, [reason why I want to keep my money]"
"I'll pay you back later"
"With what?"
"..."
Hell's Princess I think it was supposed to be flirty
(Bro steals the money)
Girl:"Why did you do this? Buy me coffee"
This video was depressing since I do nearly all of these things
Logan Leto me too ahah. No need to be depressed though. It seems really easy to stop 😊
Logan Leto well you arent alone brother/sister.
Me too I even got to the point where I am mentally breaking and just yelling at random people for no reason
Yup depressing for me too. Because i also do the same
Same😭
This is exactly how a co- dependent gets targeted by a narcissist
It doesn't take a thousand chances to show you care.
I ave enough respect in my life to know
I don't deserve your abuse.
You don't like me ?
Fine.
I don't need you in my life.
Bye.
☺
My dad taught me that what ever it takes to keep things peaceful do it. Even if it meant going out of my way to help someone. If someone put me down just agree with them and save and argument of maybe a fight. Do what ever to keep things peaceful. Well let me tell you it doesn't work!!! There's just some people that are going to push you as long as you let them. Then when you stand your ground people make you out to be the big bully... I let people push me for years then ever since I started standing my ground. Few people want any part of me around that's fine...
You dad gave you a terrible advice
Ehh theres a way to do it so it works in your favor looking like the better person can definitely get other to defend you and be on your side with out you saying a word... And ignoring the person and keeping it perfessional always works then when they get out of line just make them feel crazy about getting way emotional about somthing you didnt recognize they were upset about (even if you did) sounds emotionally manipulative but they were trying to cause an emotion out of you and you nipped it with peace
The self respect thing, I lack alllll my self respect because I'm blamed for everything(since I am the oldest sister) and if I do something small I get in so much trouble and my baby sister gets away with almost anything, she can hit me and she'll get away with it but when I hit her I get in so much trouble so I have basically lost all my self respect and I pin the blame on myself most times because of the fear of being yelled at
And yeah, this has nothing to do with this video but I really wanted to vent.
Marz ;3 Try to create more self-respect for yourself and talk with your parents. Say: "Listen, I'm not the only one who does things wrong. (Your sister's name) also makes mistakes and/or is wrong in some cases, but you guys don't teach her that making those mistakes and/or bring wrong is not a good thing. Instead, you discount your anger at her on me. And I won't tolerate this anymore. I'm not saying you should beat her or something like that, but teach her that, when she makes a mistake or is a bully, it's not a good thing!"
I know this seems kind of rude, but if you don't talk like that and give your parents an ultimatum, they won't listen. So, build up some self-respect, some courage, tell them you wanna talk something serious, don't let them interrupt and tell what you're feeling mixed with what I wrote. They'll listen to you and they'll have to make a decision. And, this tip's for you, be patient with your sister, help her understand this world we live in and to be a better person!
I hope this helped someway. I didn't go through anything of what you said, but I do understand a bit about our minds.
Sincerely
Ian
Marz ;3 Same, but with friends. I have a friend who is pretty mean to, well, everyone. She constantly puts the blame on me and her other friends back her up despite there being no way it was my fault. Ex. One day she lost a lens, then because I was the closest, she blamed me. The real reason? The lens was loose because she knocked it out herself before, then when she ran, the up and down motion made it come out. I was also ahead of her and faster, but I was still close, so she thought it was me. It was simply gravity.
Marz ;3 same with me ikr it's always room for change tho
me too but im the 2nd child 😭😭😒
Marz ;3 I'm the first child
For many years once i got my job, i was happy my family and myself avoided the poor barrier. Since then i was deaf to my interest, never cared about the rest of the world, only my family if they're ok or not. Also never knew how much damage would be the "don't know what's limit of acceptance" is. Then i went to attract attention of saying negative stuffs without never knowing what is fun meant to be. Just fell in a endless void of vicious, being used by someone who's no longer is my friend like helping him success while i never cared myself
Untill new people purged me out of the misery.
This has really lifted me up alot. Thank you
Ouch! You accidently stepped on my foot!
"Sorry!"
GET ME A CUP OF COFFEEEE!
Like what the heck? If someone accidently hurts you, they suddently have to buy you coffee? Just think if everysingle one of you would have to buy a random person a cup of coffee bc you accidently hurt them? OKAY WHAAT THA F
Update: Or then she was just flirting, but that is still weird tbh
MySheepy Stuff yeah ikr Then I would be super hyper like aaal the tims
MySheepy Stuff I saw it as her having the confidence to flirt and go on a date. But who knows lol.
Christina Williams yeah, I saw it that way too. You guys got this wrong. but it was fun tho😂😂😂
Yeah, that's what I saw. She was flirting with him instead of being a nearly literal doormat.
I don't even like coffee D:
Not sure I entirely agree on the earned respect thing - you are entitled to common courtesy but respect is the result of other peoples perception of you and your actions. Expecting respect without being respectable has led to a lot of violence.
Ian moseley I agree with you on that. Well said. There is a difference between common courtesy and respect. True respect must be earned.
Yeah but respect tells about the person giving it, not the person receiving it. Good people respect everyone, if you pick and chose who you respect you aren't a good person.
Amira Ie what do you even mean when you use the word "Respect" ?
Exactly. Expecting respect without earning it is entitlement. I think too many people conflate the term with common courtesy. Treating other people kindly is courtesy, holding their character in esteem is respect.
Thank you for opening my eyes.Being nice really has devastating drawbacks.
I suffered from all of these until it got me into a severe depression with C-PTSD. It took some time, but I can finally give criticism or say no. Those helped a whole lot.
10. needless self sacrifice
9. a lack of self respect
8. seeking approval from others
7. thinking that the problem is only yourself
6. showing off
5. a fear of rejection
4. being deaf to your interests
3. you don't limit what's acceptable
2. a fear of loneliness
1. you believe you need to earn respect
this video was hard to watch
Christina Lee because it was so relatable?
Yes, it was a kick in the spleen.
More because it was so obvious that it was boring. And the video takes its time to go through all 10 reasons.
Did you ever think that's because there are some of us that aren't as fast on the uptake, and need things spelled out for us? Denial isn't a river in Egypt, and some of us have trouble accepting what's being said...
If not hard, it was true that I am most of these things...
I hate when a person (no matter who is it) tries to command or control me. I say that they deserve to be ignored or to be disrespected so you are not lagging behind the rest of the world. Just stand up for yourself and your loved ones
What if our loved ones eat babies
DarkingJr Take them to the vet and have them "Put Down".
I realized that I usually do almost all the don’ts in the video especially the one that I have a hard time saying no and speaking up for myself. I’m glad I watched this
TIMESTAMPS
Needless self-sacrifice 0:40
A lack of self-respect 1:30
Seeking approval from others 2:11
Thinking that the problem is only yourself 2:54
Showing off 3:43
A fear of rejection 4:23
Being deaf to your interests 5:09
You don’t limit what’s acceptable 6:00
A fear of loneliness 6:43
You believe you need to earn respect 7:33
People who make others happy
Are the most _________ and ______
A) sad and lonely
B) happy with a lot of friends
C) sad but with a lot of friends
Wolfie Girl (A)
Wolfie Girl I guess ( A ) :-( Sadly...
Wolfie Girl A cos they don't hv real friends
Foxsisters 625 XD define *Real friends*
Wolfie Girl c
These all are mistakes which i do everyday
I don't know what should i do🙇
Me too 😞
Naina Ansari same here
I do some of these mistakes
Naina Ansari omg same here i can so relate to you
I didn't knew that I was used by my friends
Edit:Needless self sacrifice and being deaf to my interests and fear of loneliness
I used to do all these things. I feel so free now that I realized that people being upset with you is worth the risk of setting your own boundaries.
Parents always hurt us and broke our hearts.Just becauae they want us to learn.but they become so mean when they yell at us.but they love us.but when they do that i always feel like...........
They hate me so.....I hate them too
When we do a mistake they keep yelling and screaming at us
and when that happen i know that u get broken
me too
but always know that they love u but they do this because they want u to learn
Be always positive
😊
It's heartbreaking to see every point made match you entirely. Now I'm concerned for myself and my relationship
This is me every day. I care how people think and stuff In my life along with this gave me depression...and now when I am nice to people they hurt me even more than before.
Forgiving people is not bad. Forgiving actually sets you free and liberates you. But I do agree that we should speak up and let people know when something is uncomfortable of wgen someone steps over our boundaries. But forgiveness is very important for personal health and helps a person maintain happiness than carrying bitterness and anger. But do speak up for yourself. Great video.
its good to forgive people. But you do not have to accept them back into your life. Its ok to be really hurt and allow time to heal, rather than trying to convince yourself that you have forgiven them, when you really have not. One can only forgive when they are no longer hurt. Forgiveness is not a very voluntary thing to do. We cant control how we feel, we can only control our actions.
Am I the only one who noticed that 9 out of those ten mistake making example people were women, and that every single of these behaviours are what girls get conditioned into by society? Like...all of these "mistakes" are expected behaviour for women, and if you break the pattern, if you don't conform to these expectations, people will shun you or at the least think you're really weird.
This was a bit of a culture shock for me because I spent my childhood in a society where child-rearing was pretty gender neutral and boys and girls were given the same activities to do, the same toys to play with, and they were held to the same behavioural standards. Then my country stopped existing, and I was suddenly dumped in a society where girls were supposed to be pliant, giving, and self sacrificing above all else and never learned to assert themselves. I still have trouble staying friends with girls/women from West Germany, because they never tell me outright what's what. Because they were raised not to do that, and that kind of conditioning is hard to break.
And that's just "normal" people. All of this is even stronger with abuse victims of all genders.
C Naumann very true. well said👍
queen T - Thank you!
I was about to say the same... women's are meant to follow these patterns
Eulenkeks this video is a little(really) sexist saying that pretty much all this is happening to women not to men we should all dislike and un-sub
Silver Linings - It was annexed into another country. It's usually called "reunification" now, but nobody cared to ask the populace if that is what they wanted. I did hint that I'm German, didn't I? ^^
DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT THEY SAID AT THE END " to stay on the bright side of life......life!!!!!??????"
Well said. Thank you for the wonderful advices😊
This really hits home for me, especially becoming a teacher and educator of students. I've been too nice during my first couple years of teaching, but have become a much more effective teacher once I learned how to treat myself. Great video!
Respect? There are a lot of people out there who have this "Entitlement" thing going on!
They feel that everything should just automatically be given to them... Bad way to live!
Respect, Trust, Love... these have to be earned, they're not just given away freely...
You can't grow as a person when everything is handed to you on a sliver plate!
Trials and Tribulations, facing life head-on, learning from your mistakes... this is how you grow! :-)
Perplexia X I love your comment...so true
So civilized behavior from you needs to be earned? You get what you sow.
Strategic Thinker Everybody deserves a certain level of respect I agree. The trouble is that many people expect it more than they are prepared to give it.
Perplexia X, You are confusing respect for your choices, for respect for you at your core. The video itself probably needed to make this distinction. Yes, no one is entitled to have others respect the choices they make, but everyone is entitled to basic respect for the value of their selves at their cores, or souls. That doesn't mean approval for what they choose to do.
Perplexia X
There are a tremendous amount of people who so obviously believe in "their entitlement".
I grew up in San Francisco and the past 5 to 10 years my city has been overwrought with These types of transplants.
They've turned San Francisco into their "entitled city".
Most, well about 99.9% have not been raised here & have absolutely no idea what SF really means as far as a diverse and cultured city. They feel that riding bicycles gives them a "right" to not follow traffic rules and constantly ride against red lights and what have you.
They've raised our real estate and rentals far beyond any non millionaire income based families out of their own home based, lifelong living space.
San Francisco is now the most expensive city to live, out numbering NYC.
The worst part is the lack of respect.
I've known lifelong SF dwellers who have had to move 40 miles from their birthplace and have to endure the disrespect of millionaire 20 year olds.
I find it appalling.
I find your video extraordinarily beautiful.
Thank you!
Ouch. NOW BUY ME COFFEE.
Seriously this vedio changes my life.... And now i can stand for me and for my wishes. I see this vedio on 16 july and now is 20 july i can see the change in my life its tottaly changes ,
I always do all of these things to make others happy.... I do others' work and selflessly help them in every possible way so that they can do the same for me but it never happens... as a reward of my sacrifice I always end up being alone crying in my room because of these kinda people.... I have realized that ultimately I am responsible for what all happens to me so from now I'll stop caring about others and learn to say "NO!!"... which is the hardest thing for me to say... this video really helped... thanks!!
When I finished watching the video I took a deep breath, opened my mouth to say something, then closed it realized I relate to most of these.
Snowy Owlz101 yup
thank you so much ......life is too short to live with people who sucks happiness from you.
Thank you so much, my friend was stepping all over me, but she is so awesome it's just I needed to step up, that's all. Thanks Bright Side! You solved my very complicating problem!
Think it is time for a big shake-up in my life,Thank you for your great advice every point has been noted, I will not be making the same mistakes again.
He stepped on her so she expects a cup of coffee?!?!!
"Coffee" could be the shoe's brand xD
I know right! I was expecting her to just say, get off my foot
Ikr so weird
Safsaf Ware That would be the normal thing to do
Shanaya - or a medical lawsuit for hurting them. People can have frail bones or immune issues.
gosh dang..i am really one train wreck of a human..too emotional and willing to help others..i can tell because my "best friend" is a narcissistic person..and my own family kinda looks down on me because i apologize too much and I'm allways "too blunt" and never do things that *I* want
I love this video! I'm glad I over came most of these issues but got more to go. Thank you for this!!
Thank you for posting and explaining these facts. They help people actually better themselves than worrying about things they can't change
woo! that's why I'm alone .. finally found genuine reasons . coz for that too I used to blame myself !
The nice thing is I don't have a problem with many of these things. Respect is something you do earn at times. When working with others you need to know that being kind is not always a bad thing. A give and get kind of deal can be fair but only to a point. If someone does something it is best to speak up about it. People do nice things for me and some times those things were hard to do. I respect them for it and will remember so that when they need something and I can help them I will. I give back because I care and know that they weren't thinking about having me own them anything for it.
Nicely put....thank you :))
wiccacat17 Nice comment.
Even though I'm to lazy to read it.
Thank you for this! Maybe I am too available for others so people use me quite often. I am always willing to help everyone but at the end I don't even have time for myself. I have to learn to say no. I won't let others use me anymore 😄💕
Omg!!!! Thank you so much bright side... This was what I wanted.. Thnks to you my life is going to be better now.. Thank you.. I'm going to be on my own now... Love ya....
It's all me straight up me STRAIGHT UP ME
2:57 I was taught to not blame others for things that go wrong and to take responsibility
I agree with you, Young Hustler.
I think the best is analyze the situation and take blame when it is actually (mostly or entirely) your fault, but also know when its not. Sometimes there are others to blame, sometimes no one and sometimes everyone involved. Many people may be prone to either take blame too easily or always blame someone else to avoid responsibielty. You ought to find the middle way
I think it depends. If you are a member of team, its the team's failure. If you are the leader of a team, it's your failure.
The type of connection between two, people or things, is each half the responsibility,
for the relationship.
Both have a equal chance to create what ever they want with their relation ship.
You don't need to be hard for yourself.
A fraction, of something including you, is always your fault,
and another fraction is not yours.
*No one can be fully responsible for something.*
Yeah but dont always blame it on yourself
This is so true. All these were me and guess what I ended up with a narcissist who found it awesome to use till he can and then discarded me. I am rebuilding myself but this time, I am gonna be a lot different than I was before!
this hit me wayyy too deeply. i'm too nice of a person and am slowly changing how i am to people because of situations like in this video
*MY DAD ALWAYS TELLS MY WHOLE FAMILY WHAT TO DO AND HE DOESNT EVEN HELP MY MOM COOK AND ALWAYS TELL ME AND MY SISTER WHAT TO DO. ONCE HE TOLD ME TO GET THE REMOTE ON THE TABLE NEXT TO HIM, AND IM IN MY ROOM AND THE REMOTE WAS CLOSEST TO HIM I WAS LIKE YOU CAN JUST GET IT YOURSELF IT WAS LIKE 3 FEET FROM HIM AND IT WAS LIKE 20 FEET FROM ME. AND HE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO EVEN THO I WAS SLEEPING. AND MY MOM HAS TO DO ALL THE WORK WHICH IS WASH THE DISHES/CLEAN/COOK AND EVERYTHING SO I HELP HER, WHILE I HELP HER MY DAD IS JUST IN THE COUCH WATCHING TV EVERYDAY!!!*
Your dad sounds like a gem, DyNexWag. :(
DyNexWag consider your situation a training ground. you are very strong and it's obvious you are already a wonderful addition to the human race. continue to make your inherent goodness shine.
queen T, what an excellent and uplifting message! ;)
queen T THANK YOU SO MUCH ALL OF YOU
VETHRI VELL - or his dad just has that personality
When I was 15 I always asked myself if I am a good person. Now I'm 33 and know so much more about people: Only the fact that I asked myself makes me a good person. There are so much people in the world that doesn't care about that. And I learned I'm better than them and treat them now the way they treated me when I was 15.
Stylomagic I asked myself this same question today I even had to google attributes of a good person..
Thank you so much for this! 😩❤️❤️
From 10 to 1 described ME!
No jokes! I’m literally still shook till now.
I guess God led me to this video today. I really needed to hear these.
I am also get used I can't believe it my school friends do this but now I have thought that I am gonna get a good change in me so that they will not do this with me again . Thanks bright side to help me
nice video
keep up the good work
love .x
Much needed pep talk I guess.
4:55 My friends would be like: Why not? Please, I need some! Please! Please i really really need some!
I was once at school, and I was at recess with some friends, and two girls just walk in front of me and ask me for *4 dollars*. *4*.
Let me say, they got upset at me xD
Casulyn Pyijalen Friends are not who do this to me... people I barely know do! 😩
Thank you, Brightside! It really helpful tips. I have to admit, I never noticed that being nice person isn't well respect. I keep trying to do my best to satisfy other people, but I know I can't pleased everyone. But here's thing, I always felt guilty and petrified if I can help and pleased everyone. I've been thinking about it all day over and over again. So I think this video is really helpful ! Now I wide awake being nice person isn't always well respect
Thanks Man. I can smile with the confidence now😀