Porn Addiction | A Woman's Experience
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- čas přidán 26. 02. 2023
- Jessica Harris accidentally discovered porn when she was just a teenager when a graphic image popped up while she was online. By the time she was in high school, it began to dominate her life. She found herself lying to her parents, sleeping just a few hours each night and watched her grades suffer, as well. Wanting so badly to get help, but not knowing where to turn, Jessica finally found a safe place to open up and she has been walking in freedom ever since. Today Jessica travels all over the world sharing her story to help other women struggling with pornography addiction.
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Learn more about Jessica's blog and follow her on social media www.beggarsdaughter.com / beggarsdaughter / beggars.daughter Read her book Quenched bakerbookhouse.com/products/4...
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #livedexperience #addiction #psychology #podcast
Thanks for shedding light on this topic and helping lift the shame around it for so many others out there!
I am glad that you guys are having these conversations. I created a live video last week about how porn affects sex and connection in relationships. Another great video as always ❤️
At the time, I was living
my California dream life, which had
taken me years to build. I had a
very successful career as the head
of finance for a multimillion-dollar
international business operation,
beautiful house in the Hollywood
Hills, and sunshine and palm trees
all around me, I truly felt on top of
the world. At a party one night, a
friend made a point of introducing
me to a guy I really needed to meet.
To be honest, he did absolutely
nothing for me, he just wasn't my
type. Two days later however, he was
my everything. He was kind, gentle
and atterntive, and he seemed to
completely get what I was all about.
He bombarded me with compliments
a technique known as love bombing,
in which an abuser overwhelms a
partner with compliments in order
to subtly but very quickly gain
immense trust, so they can then
manipulate them. Finally I came
across a hacker someone posted on
here who helped me clone his phone
and got all deleted and non deleted
text messages which he has been
sending to some other girls, I was
able to gain access to everything on
his phone through a linkI was given.
I sincerely recommend this hacker
to anyone who is interested in such
services 👆👆
Jessica is amazing for openly sharing her journey with us.
You can feel what a kind hearted soul she is at her core .
All addictions are just an attempt at soothing the underlying pain or confusion we are coping with in our lives.
Her bravery will definitely help others seek help at getting the help they need.
Well Done girls ❤
I think she just really needed to get f'd . LMAO
It's important for parents/care givers to offer an environment where their children feel psychological safety to be vulnerable with their parents and rely on them for support with empathy and compassion, not judgment and shaming. Pretending there is no issue, shoving them under the carpet and not discussing them or shaming children who struggle from any issue is a sign of emotional disconnection.
Parents of dysfuncitonal families put so much emphasis on their children excelling in academics, sports, arts, music and give their children conditional love based on their performance in these areas while often neglecting their emotional needs for unconditional love. Children want to be seen, heard and understood and be accepted and loved for their authentic selves, not their idealized image projected onto them by their parents. When parents, teachers and society are genuinely curious about children's inner world, we will collectively form a compassionate society.
Parents are supposed to parent, not to be enablers of their children's every wish and whim.
Profound life story and incredible recovery journey .... Nicely Done Indeed! 💫
Great courage on speaking about this!
Hello how are you doing? Can I ask you a question if you don't mind?
Yep it is great courage
Very insightful, well done Jessica 🙂
Thank you Jessica for sharing your story 🙏🏼💕 God bless you
Satan bless 🥰
For me it started when I was 3 or 4 and found my dad's magazines. It would have been late 80's. It did a lot of damage because I remember thinking that it was what men liked and wanted. As I got older, I had a hard time making friends, I was the weird kid with a perverted sense of humor. I was obsessed with the topic of sex, at a young age I remember wanting to look sexy, which is so messed up. When I went off of my antidepressants as an adult in my 30's, my sex drive exploded and I was watching porn 3 to 4 times daily just to deal with the way my body constantly felt stimulated and awake. It became one of the worst parts of going off of the meds. It's when I realized this isn't healthy at all and I need to change. I've been able to use willpower to cut it way back and to watch healthier types of it with more love and affection, when I do. My brain was also addicted to the dopamine. As with any addiction, you have to want to change for your effort to have any effect. Hopefully I can get rid of it completely.
your story really shows how vulnerable children are to the things in their enviroment.
@@annayra6458 Definitely. The more I find out about this kind of stuff the more everything in my life makes sense. People are experimenting with magic mushroom therapy and are able to remember traumatic things that happened to them as infants. The brain keeps almost everything, and just locks away some of the really bad stuff.
how did you feel during those early days/weeks/months of being off the psyc meds, what did you do to combat those withdrawal symptoms?
@@pbaabreo8421 The thing that helped me the most with the withdrawal was keeping my mind busy with audiobooks and podcasts, sometimes video games. Anything that would help me escape mentally. I would get hit hard with the most horrible thoughts. I had to keep strong and remember the people that I love that would go through hell if I did anything bad to myself, that was what kept me here during the worst parts. Physically the worst thing I had to deal with was the nausea, and either being unable to sleep or being completely exhausted. I don't recommend attempting it unless you have good people backing you up that understand that you are going to go through a hard time and that you need them to be there for you and understanding when you are miserable. It's not easy at all, especially if you've been on the medication for a long time and at a high dose. Be ready for mental and physical hell.
@@greylizard1040 now I am on my 3rd attempt to jump the meds. the 1st 2 attempts was a failure. only last for 2 days because of the setbacks. hopefully this 3rd attempt will be not that rough as my last 2 attempt. any suggestions on how to deal with the symptomps after withdrawal will be much appreciated. thanks.
That's really a shame that some churches don't discuss sex and emotional health. My experience is different.
It’s kind of like reading “smutty” stuff. Women probably do that more than men. I relate to her very religious background.
Which makes a ton of sense in the way sexuality is glorified in men and shamed in women + actual brain dynamics going on for us. Though the later are a bit of a chicken and egg situation. AND then there's the huge ass topics of video material being incredibly dense with misogynistic content, while written smut has a higher chance of either avoiding that or shows patterns that hep us cope and process sexual trauma. Like all the tropes of "enemy to lovers", a manifestation of how we long to be able to reach equilibrium even with those who start out by hurting us the most, as that is still a frequent issue indynamicss between men and women AND they do NOT go that way in reality
20:22 When someone I’m talking to informally says things that sound distinctly AA, I sometimes smirk and ask if they’re friends with Bill W.
I mentioned in a conversation with the bus driver a couple months ago that I didn’t drink, and I could tell from how he responded that he was in the Fellowship. We became friends, and he hugged me after my soberversary.
It’s neat bumping into one another “in the wild”. 😊
Editor: Please, no more circle transitions!
Seriously!, that's when the freakn editor trying to showoff and be fancy, and constantly try to remind people they edited the damn video. I really would like to have a one on one conversation with him/her in a small room, no violence 😅
This would've been good information back in the 70s n 90s son went through this in headstart it brought back so many memories for me which obviously had me handle his situation in the wrong way.
Hello how are you doing? Can I ask you a question if you don't mind me?
That's Heavenly Tips. Thanks Ma'am.
Wow, only the first minutes and I know what she´s talking about, dad´s gone too early and neglectful and everything around emotions is simply left out. I didn´t know that this part of my problems would be such an important indicator.
I’m glad to know yall have these problems too. I don’t know how I ended up here, I just know I want out.
Curious to know if porn addiction coincides with other mental issues that Jessica and others with similar addiction may also have?
Objectification of women and wrong notions about sex usually leads to all the issues in the expression of sexuality.
Gladly in my case it was more about prolonged phases I went through and I was able to cut myself off from it again, but it is definitely part of a complex of problems that would take a whle to explain. Domestic violance and enmeshment plays an important in my case.
Why do you think porn addiction is a mental health issue? What reputable institution has (1) said porn addiction is a real thing with enough conclusive evidence to diagnose, and (2) laid out diagnostic criteria? The APA? AASECT? The ASAM? The WHO? Or is it all just self-help orgs with an agenda to increase their revenue?
We need more mental health awareness even in the Church because God's love is freedom. Allowing people to move from where they are to where God wants them to be. No judgment just support, help and true love - the Love of Christ. This is so inspiring! So many people are going through something like this and other things.
PLEASE add to your conversation for your children "Noone sees your bottom UNLESS they are doctors and mommy/daddy are there to tell you it's OK. Cause when your genitals (normalise naming all organs!!!) hurt or look differently from usual, you may need medical help and that's OK".
Cause when we teach safety in terms of sexuality, we need to tie in the scenarios where "being naked" and not feeling too ashamed to talk is vital to health care and vital to not missing diagnosis because these children grow into adults struggling to tell their doctors about any issues going on with their genitals!!
This is why parental control on devices is so important.
VPN and torrent bypasses it, that's how i watched it during my high school days.
@@apurvaaryan7984 then, you shouldn't be able to install apps without parents password or fingerprint. Parental control, otherwise, is broken. 🙈
I could easily bypass those
@@alexandrugheorghe5610I can easily bypass this too
This episode is very interesting.
I hope she is doing well.
Also I wonder why did I use to get nervous? in my teens when kids around me encouraged me to watch po*n.
I still can't watch it, it's triggering.
Important to mention that I have no trauma related to sex and sexuality.
Maybe it's your spirit knowing it's not for you!💜
Maybe you are conservative.
@@apurvaaryan7984 Not really 😅
@@conspiracynikkikimmi5765 Possibly 💜
I'm also a woman who struggles from p*rn addiction and idk why but it made me super nervous too like a sick anxiety feeling in my stomach. I wasn't raised by conservatives but I did suffer CSA so for me it's the abuse... But it seems like there was a shame aspect for you, even though you didn't suffer abuse.
The problem is that some men have no other source of "release". Its different situation than women.
I love how God used your struggle to be light for you and for others
Seems weird that g-d took an interest in this particular issue while turning a blind eye to malaria, proxy wars, and human trafficking. Guess the big guy works in mysterious, completely asinine ways
I didn't know that women are also affected by porn. Glad that nowadays there's more light on the subject than 15 years ago when I began watching almost every day believing that's OK.
Women are affected more actually as they are usually the centre piece of this form of media. Not to mention the peer pressure they go through to play that role.
A lot. yes :{
of course we are lmao
We are affected in both ways…how society sees us and our addiction 😢
well yes, they´re humans too
Its interesting how you saw one video and it sent you into a 4 year addiction. Its no wonder ive struggled for so long.
Idk if you know this but it's normal to like sex and is the main motivation for life...
The bad porn is the abnormal fetish stuff.
glad theres light being shinned this, i never stoped to think for a moment woman could be affected by porn, just asumed it was just a guy thing. hope this helps woman who are struggling with this to be able to open up.
Wonderful 💐💐💐👍
Wow, my friend said he was in a car site online and a porn thing popped up and took him to the site. Rhats when hos addiction began.
No Doctor Ramani does not need my protection, med circle needs to scrutinize their character for entitlements and arrogance as well as any other negative emotions harbored.
beacuse it dfficult to understand a woman face in attitudes towards people.
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Wow the dean said that
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The way sexEd is such a taboo in the USA is fertile soil for misinformation and trauma. In Mex City, growing up, I received sexEd at school (anatomy, physiology and physiognomy, some contraception info and such) since age 9 and kept having these kind of classes at school up to age 17 or so. At home, my mom always answered my questions, making the answers age appropriate, she gave up as much info as I needed, but nothing beyond that, so by the time we had "THAT" class in fourth grade of elementary school, myself and most of my classmates already knew all the basics about puberty, what intercourse was, what leads to pregnancy, body parts, etc, and the only additional things were some illustrations. So, the first time I was exposed to erotica (literature) I was 14-15, and to porn pics and vids I was 16, and somehow I found it surprising but not traumatizing nor shocking, 'cause I already had all this information that helped me discern.
Porn is sex ed. It gets an unduly negative rap
@@kej5627 No different from TV shows like Euphoria or the Hulu flick The Voyeurs, both of which owe their fan base to the frequent sight of Sydney Sweeney's naked body
My wife's addiction to literary smut/fantasy has been ruining our marriage for the past 3 years.....
How so
Unusual. I've heard of it with women, but I don't think it's as prominent as it is with men
Well while men prefer visuals.
Women prefer creating their own visuals.
That's why 50 shaded of Gray is more popular among women than men, and p**n videos are more popular among men than women.
Both in excess are capable of damaging of their lives and relationships with others.
It’s actually more prominent in women we’re just much better at hiding it
@@mjllw2000 thank you!
Why do you think porn addiction is a mental health issue? What reputable institution has (1) said porn addiction is a real thing with enough conclusive evidence to diagnose, and (2) laid out diagnostic criteria? The APA? AASECT? The ASAM? The WHO? Or is it all just self-help orgs with an agenda to increase their revenue?
@@sewerfaceIt becomes a mental health issue because it causes guilt in many people. Some don't feel guilt, others do.
Warch the interview wirh Ted Bundy. He said it all began with him getting into pornography
And below this video is a lingerie ad 😮💨
This is where government regulations need applied
@@jessicaj9743 thanks for that , I was just pointing out how evil the internet is while listening to her story they strategically install an ad like that. They can't even consider her story because the word porn in the tittle probably pulled the ad from the algorithm. Look up a video for positivity, self help , music with positive lyrics and the ads will be about childhood cancer ... this is no accident .this is evil Ted Kaczynski was 💯 correct
I wonder what kind of porn is there for women? Most content doesn't cater for women's needs, you can't even see male performers' faces
We don't care about the face, at least me personally. It's more imagining the action. Men like sight, women like touch to trigger arousal.
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It is so sad to see individuals who experienced an addiction to take it upon themselves to start preaching to the world about a personal experience as if that was the final truth. What you experienced is not what other individuals have or will experience. These type of videos only cause confusion and it is just like the Christian delusion of the "great commission". The world is so divded and confusing due to all these opinions. Porn is not addicting to some people, it is not bad to watch it and it is healthy in many situations. It is healthful to watch it and we should be educating others about how to view it, what connection is has in the world, in the view of human and animal sexuality and reproduction. Just analyze the video and you will see her experiences come from a religious 'taboo' background. Religion is far more dangerous than porn. That is what aggravates these cases most of the time. We should be educating about how to balance your life with porn and sex in a free thinking space and stay a productive member of society. Of course almost everyone here willl disagree but that is why I expect in this channel. I should start a channel of my own to voice the other side of the coin.
Why do you think porn addiction is a mental health issue? What reputable institution has (1) said porn addiction is a real thing with enough conclusive evidence to diagnose, and (2) laid out diagnostic criteria? The APA? AASECT? The ASAM? The WHO? Or is it all just self-help orgs with an agenda to increase their revenue?
@@sewerfaceWho cares what clinicians categorise it as, it's still a compulsion creating mental conflict for people. Shame is not a redundant emotion. It's not healthy to ignore your conscience. Better to be guided by it.
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So the real problem was religion and not porn...
Med circle ignores the spammers 🤭 attempts to make people feel alone, and guilty, is a direct reflection of the guilt of med circle (not doctor Ramani)
I am a Caucasian therefore I understand that Caucasian want to lead the pack, therefore I understand, that leaders who behave badly will cause a trickle down effect, therefore I understood that I needed to study the behaviors of Caucasian males, and Alex Murdaugh family, entitlement to the max degree, and that all races of people can learn from the judge Newsoms manner of speaking to Alex Murdaugh, and therefore I scrutinized my own behavior, for several years, and asked the Divine to guide me to rid myself of any remnants of entitlement. Therefore I understand that if med circle attempts to pin any anger onto Doctor Ramani, they are grossly entitled!
Every one watching this video is unormal😂😂😂
Learn english
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Why are you still pretending that porn addiction is a thing? The APA says it isn’t. The American Academy of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists says it’s pseudoscience. The American Society of Addiction Medicine says it’s too poorly substantiated to treat it as a real thing. There’s no consensus that peer-reviewed resource has generated. But the self-help industry, which stands to gain from the misinformation, loves to treat it like a real thing anyway.
Yes it is real, science shows the brain on pornography effects the brain and closest behavioral problems this is not some religious or self-help idea, sounds like all those are trying to keep quiet.
Jesus saves ✝
Jesus was born without the action in discussion "allegedly".
Hopefully the devil doesn't tempt him to explore what his mother didn't.
@@apurvaaryan7984 😂😂😂spot on
Jesus isn’t real
@@xyoungdipsetx I'm sorry you don't know Him. Really.
@@xyoungdipsetx Says 'Joseph'. Ironic.
Not trivializing her experience but she seems like most 11 year old boys who are experiencing body changes. I actually did the same thing with the static tv channels, looking for shows or anything. In an interesting way, I think girls should talk more openly about this. Self pleasure and experience is a good thing but I think religion plays a huge roll. I think she was very mixed up in religion. I think it's normal, she is curious
She got 2 hours of sleep all she did was watch porn she was heavily addicted. Most importantly she couldn’t stop when she wanted to.
You are instead trivialising the struggles of boys, actually (well and hers cause as the other commenter said, the gravity was not normal at all). Aka the curiousity of boys is so normalised that they are left unguided and even get a lot of their self-worth tied to their "body count" (aka count of intercourses) and all of public knows about how much boys struggle with addiction and how it causes damage to the brain to the point that Universities stopped research studies on porn due to finding that the researchers ended up having side effects.
Normal degrees of curiousity and addiction are not the same thing.
It's like saying that "an occasional evening with friends with a glass of wine" is as harmless as "alcohol addiction".
Not to mention that the sexual development of boys is by no means the gold standard!! :\ It's frequently normalised in it's unhealthy forms!!
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I was surprised and equally glad that this topic is adressed. I´d like to know how many women are effected. It´s sth that is surely not easy to discuss because of the fear of being instantly treated like ... I don´t know devaluated like in my mind pictures coming up of men raising their eyebrows and making nasty comments because they think it´s something funny or sh they can benefit from.
I had these times due to certain reasons where it becomes a bigger and bigger thing.
@greylizard: "For me it started when I was 3 or 4 and found my dad's magazines." I remember this from my past as well. Not at all serious stuff but due to my toxic and twisted family system I couldn´t develope a healthy self image/selfworth, fantasized a lot and that phenomenon called limerance took a big part in my life.
I´m still not done with it, though. Hit rock bottom when I encountered assaults during 2 first dates and only slowly get the whole picture.
Just mentioning in case someone would try to bomb me with ugly questions: Just don´t! Regular talk in the coment section is ine, but if I sense sth creepy I will simply block this person.
Porn addiction, hmmm... Okay, wow.
Teens wet dreams.
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