r/TechnicallyTheTruth · cards against water

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  • čas přidán 19. 04. 2020
  • The best posts from the top of r/TechnicallyTheTruth on Reddit
    Narrator: / zachxfuller
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 7K

  • @kwakhru435
    @kwakhru435 Před 4 lety +11951

    Waiter: "carefull its soup"
    Me: "thanks you too"

    • @DaemonsAdvocate
      @DaemonsAdvocate Před 4 lety +246

      Erencan G. Damn those auto replies

    • @Novaheim
      @Novaheim Před 4 lety +202

      That's me when I think of two things to say at the exact time.

    • @quietriot7132
      @quietriot7132 Před 4 lety +91

      Maverick Sloan yes i am... I am soup

    • @atlas_points_west4927
      @atlas_points_west4927 Před 4 lety +33

      Skeppy: IM A MAVERICK

    • @McLegg
      @McLegg Před 4 lety +46

      God that hurts but you're so right...

  • @wonzi2238
    @wonzi2238 Před 3 lety +1825

    “i didn’t k1ll him”
    “you pushed him into shark infested waters!”
    “so the sharks killed him”

    • @-vines-7018
      @-vines-7018 Před 3 lety +24

      I mean
      He’s not wrong

    • @ASourGummy
      @ASourGummy Před 3 lety +21

      So if someone were to kill someone with a knife or Gun...Then really the blade/Bullet killed them

    • @cadencejames4064
      @cadencejames4064 Před 3 lety +10

      Gravity and the sharks killed him

    • @Lavvyy
      @Lavvyy Před 3 lety +3

      I mean it’s true-

    • @rutillorogue5788
      @rutillorogue5788 Před 3 lety +3

      Isaac Newton is going to jail so?

  • @_Experience_.
    @_Experience_. Před 3 lety +644

    You: *accidentally kicks someone*
    Person: *falls*
    Your brain: Say “Are you okay?”!
    You: Are you-
    Your brain: Wait! Actually, say “I’m sorry!”
    You: 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗦𝗢𝗥𝗥𝗬?!

  • @GarrickMeack
    @GarrickMeack Před 3 lety +250

    Fun fact:
    People in their 20s are mostly between the ages of 20 and 29

    • @antoniofeliciano6183
      @antoniofeliciano6183 Před 3 lety

      Mostly???

    • @GarrickMeack
      @GarrickMeack Před 3 lety +1

      @@antoniofeliciano6183 hahahahaha the exception is leap years I guess

    • @MrBee-bb3ed
      @MrBee-bb3ed Před 3 lety

      so would being im my 29s mean my age is between 29 and 38?

    • @Graximss
      @Graximss Před 3 lety

      y e s

    • @aeramisu
      @aeramisu Před 3 lety

      @@antoniofeliciano6183 or they are dead.
      So they are not 20s.
      Just dead.

  • @cottonvcandy
    @cottonvcandy Před 4 lety +2904

    funfact: if you hold your breath, you can't breathe

    • @no-pv3dn
      @no-pv3dn Před 4 lety +54

      And if you move your mouth you’re most likely talking :D

    • @sun_edits6711
      @sun_edits6711 Před 4 lety +21

      Me- Gasp-
      My dog - You idot-

    • @monokuma3854
      @monokuma3854 Před 4 lety +19

      Wait really? I never heard of that

    • @buzzythebee847
      @buzzythebee847 Před 4 lety +13

      Help I cant breath!

    • @yoma811
      @yoma811 Před 4 lety +23

      Another one is: if you close your eyes, you probably can’t see.

  • @the_void996
    @the_void996 Před 4 lety +1090

    2:46
    Confucius said: “Stop making fake quotes of me.”
    -Confucius

    • @DaemonsAdvocate
      @DaemonsAdvocate Před 4 lety +22

      Gaming_64 No, I’m pretty sure he said “This format is great for fake comments. Make more.”

    • @the_void996
      @the_void996 Před 4 lety +19

      Maverick Sloan ah sorry, he said that after he died. My bad, you’re right

    • @sunwolf87
      @sunwolf87 Před 4 lety +3

      Confucious say: He who make fake quote of me is fake himself.

    • @snakes7303
      @snakes7303 Před 4 lety +1

      Maverick Sloan
      Confucius said: The five basic relationships are ruler and subject, husband and wife, father and son, older sibling and younger sibling, friend and friend.

    • @tracimiller9214
      @tracimiller9214 Před 4 lety +2

      hi sister
      Confucius said *THE FITNESSGRAM PACER TEST-*

  • @captainpotatord6984
    @captainpotatord6984 Před 3 lety +520

    Fun Fact:
    "People in their childhood are children."

    • @sickcicada6693
      @sickcicada6693 Před 3 lety +22

      I was born at a very young age

    • @captainpotatord6984
      @captainpotatord6984 Před 3 lety +7

      @@sickcicada6693 🤯😲

    • @_aashi
      @_aashi Před 3 lety +3

      @@sickcicada6693 how-
      That's not supposed to happen.

    • @mxrdhixh_.
      @mxrdhixh_. Před 3 lety +2

      @@sickcicada6693 You must be an extraordinary person... Only you experienced that... Very interesting statement *kai little*

    • @miguelbaltazar7606
      @miguelbaltazar7606 Před 3 lety +1

      fun fact: eating ramen makes your body full of ramen

  • @kremzis1387
    @kremzis1387 Před 3 lety +32

    Similar to the "careful, it's soup" situation:
    We were joking with my parents and saying that there was cake in the house (we were outside with a boy) and my father said "There's cake in the house"
    Me, wanting to say "where did u put the cake" and thinking of going to our house: "Where's our house???"

    • @orangetrumpet7683
      @orangetrumpet7683 Před 3 lety +1

      I'm mad at you- I was supposed to be studying but I laughed at your comment way too loud. my parents most likely heard that.

    • @kremzis1387
      @kremzis1387 Před 3 lety

      @@orangetrumpet7683 pfft- sorry- but I'm glad it made someone laugh tho :)

  • @existenceispain_geekthesiren
    @existenceispain_geekthesiren Před 4 lety +6170

    I just got an ad that said, “You’re not a dish. You’re a man.”
    Excuse me, I’m a girl...

    • @improbablynotaboat
      @improbablynotaboat Před 4 lety +98

      ah yes wings of fire username-

    • @frenchfryfan8366
      @frenchfryfan8366 Před 4 lety +62

      I always get that

    • @variellie
      @variellie Před 4 lety +61

      arent ads recommended based on what you watch and search?

    • @GraveForRent
      @GraveForRent Před 4 lety +108

      The Dr. Squach Natural Soap For Men commercials are my favorite and I genuinely enjoy watching and don't skip them

    • @sinkmcsink9486
      @sinkmcsink9486 Před 4 lety +81

      No *you're a man now*

  • @cloudnyc
    @cloudnyc Před 4 lety +1825

    My wife told me that I have no sense in direction, so I packed up my stuff and right.

    • @thatweebthatdraws1050
      @thatweebthatdraws1050 Před 4 lety +130

      I hate this. So much. But its so. *Funny.*

    • @_GhostEist_
      @_GhostEist_ Před 4 lety +48

      ...you are not wrong

    • @sloth-hw5pj
      @sloth-hw5pj Před 4 lety +29

      I didnt laugh until 4/20/20

    • @IamCoalfoot
      @IamCoalfoot Před 4 lety +22

      @@sloth-hw5pj Wow, no laughter at all until this very day. I can't decide if you are cursed for having never experienced it, or blessed for finally knowing it.

    • @korazuko7389
      @korazuko7389 Před 4 lety +4

      Someone explain this for my dum dum brain. Thank you.

  • @aaronsadowski3131
    @aaronsadowski3131 Před 3 lety +46

    I wanted to see if the "women riding man" picture was real so I googled it. Right at the exact moment I did, my mom yelled my name: never have I felt such a mix of panic and fear in my life.

  • @tracy9091
    @tracy9091 Před 3 lety +31

    “Please do not open with knife.”
    *Zooms out*
    *Shows an axe*

  • @sapphirekawaii8384
    @sapphirekawaii8384 Před 3 lety +745

    “Don’t mess with me. I know karate, judo, jujitsu, Kung fu and 20 other dangerous words.”

  • @michaeledmunds7266
    @michaeledmunds7266 Před 4 lety +620

    "-has at least a few friends."
    Me: "Guess I was born on a starless night then..."

    • @ruby_blaire938
      @ruby_blaire938 Před 4 lety +36

      Uhm I think you mean a Beeless night :()

    • @peppermint5117
      @peppermint5117 Před 4 lety +5

      unless u count your online friends
      but actually idk

    • @overdrive023
      @overdrive023 Před 3 lety +10

      Call this shit a hectagon, cause that’s a lot of edge.

    • @braydenzoeller7843
      @braydenzoeller7843 Před 3 lety +2

      oof

    • @neptune79
      @neptune79 Před 3 lety +1

      That's funny! I guess I was also born on a bee-less night!

  • @Kai-eb1fv
    @Kai-eb1fv Před 3 lety +17

    “How to spot a trans person” *proceeds to tell you how to spot someone weightlifting* they had me in the first half ngl

  • @kathleenisabella8309
    @kathleenisabella8309 Před 4 lety +7179

    Idk why, but “Careful, it’s soup” really got me...

  • @angeldroid3608
    @angeldroid3608 Před 4 lety +1729

    Dad: "Stop watching TV and read"
    Me: "That's why the anime has subtitles"

  • @imbrooke550
    @imbrooke550 Před 3 lety +18

    6:23
    Being a queen fan this absolutely *killed* me

  • @whyhello7270
    @whyhello7270 Před 3 lety +15

    “If you had one week left to live what would you do”
    Me: *IS THAT DEKU*

  • @whoevencares5562
    @whoevencares5562 Před 4 lety +381

    1:51 Actually, it celebrates the only day when you can be sure they didn’t have sex.

  • @baguettelefeesh5561
    @baguettelefeesh5561 Před 3 lety +1229

    *"Your shirt fell and made that noise?"*
    *"I was inside of it"*
    wheeze

  • @WERTYUIO821
    @WERTYUIO821 Před 3 lety +13

    8:23
    This vandalism is art.

  • @esu1415
    @esu1415 Před 3 lety +11

    0:18
    Somebody needs to give that kid a medal

  • @gh0st876
    @gh0st876 Před 4 lety +1548

    Uncle: Asian girls have weird names
    Me: why?
    Uncle: the girl I met kept screaming “I’m Tu Yung”
    *uhh I have no words...*

    • @ItsMinticle
      @ItsMinticle Před 4 lety +172

      hits too close to home.
      having a weird name, i mean

    • @seydk
      @seydk Před 4 lety +52

      😳-

    • @chuggerofpiss4478
      @chuggerofpiss4478 Před 4 lety +47

      Îtš Mïñtīçlê I mean, some people can relate to the whole thing

    • @ItsMinticle
      @ItsMinticle Před 4 lety +20

      @@chuggerofpiss4478 k

    • @Daelyah
      @Daelyah Před 4 lety +97

      He's that funny uncle that isn't allowed near schools anymore, huh?

  • @m4lfuct10n_.7
    @m4lfuct10n_.7 Před 4 lety +1099

    a random guy: careful it's soup
    the soup holding a knife: *peace was never an option*

    • @erwartii
      @erwartii Před 4 lety +17

      Idk how a soup can hold a knife.. I imagine it like there is a soup but instead of a spoon someone put a knife in it 😂

    • @Best_Ape
      @Best_Ape Před 4 lety +7

      @@erwartii it has noodle arms

    • @no-ck8yz
      @no-ck8yz Před 4 lety

      540 likes with 4 replies?!?

    • @kaulanihickmxn8493
      @kaulanihickmxn8493 Před 4 lety

      @@no-ck8yz 586 get it right.

    • @fuckingbetch338
      @fuckingbetch338 Před 4 lety

      o h s h i t

  • @ultraminer9960
    @ultraminer9960 Před 3 lety +16

    4:30 for anyone wondering, the exclamation mark basically means not, so it becomes not false.

  • @3X02novadust
    @3X02novadust Před 3 lety +2

    “Hey, thanks for the soup-“
    “ *Careful, it’s soup* “

  • @kittynilssen4042
    @kittynilssen4042 Před 4 lety +297

    the one that got me the most was:
    *careful, it's soup!*

  • @aeugh4791
    @aeugh4791 Před 4 lety +396

    Girl posting a video to the media: “Not gonna lie, I have tried to kill myself 32 times but never succeed”
    Others: “please don’t!”
    That one kid “It’s okay, keep trying and don’t give up”
    I just wanted to say this.

    • @whyme3807
      @whyme3807 Před 4 lety +11

      The others probably were like: noo keep going on life and never give up! And the kid was like: yea never give up on tryna die! ^^

    • @maddisonnotrae7568
      @maddisonnotrae7568 Před 4 lety +8

      Me:
      *dont give up, try a noose*

    • @youremom228
      @youremom228 Před 4 lety +5

      Im sorry that i smirked

    • @rylayay
      @rylayay Před 4 lety +5

      If this actually happened-
      What happened to the girl? Also that one guy either has a weird sense of humour, is heartless, doesnt care or just doesnt get it-

    • @littlemisswolfox8159
      @littlemisswolfox8159 Před 4 lety +4

      I am that one kid.....I'm also the girl saying she tried to kill herself!............DIFERENCE IS THEY DID THE OPOSITE ND TOLD ME TO KEEP TRYING!😂😂

  • @dinopigeon202
    @dinopigeon202 Před 3 lety +6

    6:28
    My dad literally has this shirt and every time he wears it he makes sure to sing it 24/7

  • @t3nk085
    @t3nk085 Před 3 lety +9

    11:29 that reminds me of the meme “I accidentally kicked my friend in the face and I couldn’t decide weither to say Are you ok or im sorry so I blurted ARE YOU SORRY?!”

  • @MaidenOfDread
    @MaidenOfDread Před 4 lety +1272

    Did you know? Running faster then the person chasing you could save your life.

    • @essentialys6200
      @essentialys6200 Před 3 lety +8

      Vampyria gun

    • @ragnarokl3923
      @ragnarokl3923 Před 3 lety +28

      @@essentialys6200 Did you know that statistically, shooting a target farther away tends to be less successful than shooting a target closer to you

    • @ragnarokl3923
      @ragnarokl3923 Před 3 lety +5

      @@essentialys6200 nvm, I read that wrong lol

    • @MaidenOfDread
      @MaidenOfDread Před 3 lety +11

      @@essentialys6200 Chances are if someone has a gun... they wouldn't be CHASING you, my dude.. c:

    • @essentialys6200
      @essentialys6200 Před 3 lety +4

      Vampyria maybe they want to hit you with the gun xD

  • @MediHusky
    @MediHusky Před 3 lety +752

    "People are dying who have never died before."
    Me, who's drowned three times and been resuscitated 3 times: I guess you can say I'm a bit of a professional idiot.

    • @ashayoclemons6508
      @ashayoclemons6508 Před 3 lety +8

      You got that right lol this is Sarcastic don't take it
      Personal

    • @MediHusky
      @MediHusky Před 3 lety +16

      I'll take it personal if I want to.

    • @andrewleger37
      @andrewleger37 Před 3 lety +6

      @@MediHusky personally, I disagree.

    • @addisontussey1849
      @addisontussey1849 Před 3 lety +20

      Did you know that the recorded laughing for TV shows was recorded in 1950 which means you're basically listening to dead people laugh

    • @MediHusky
      @MediHusky Před 3 lety +14

      @@addisontussey1849 This is exactly why I won't support watching shows like Friends. There are plenty of alive people, with which we would be able to produce an updated laugh track. Instead we're hanging on to some corpses laugh track not for audio quality, but to save a few bucks. TV really went to shit since then...

  • @gengy4666
    @gengy4666 Před 3 lety +16

    Did you know that there is an invention that lets you see through walls
    It’s called a sledgehammer

  • @byak6687
    @byak6687 Před 4 lety +660

    I wanted to ask my friend who was singing a song “what song is that?” & “what are you singing?”
    And I said instead: “what are you song.”
    😀

  • @cadrejeff
    @cadrejeff Před 4 lety +531

    technically people can read minds, just their own minds.

    • @KainoPhoeno
      @KainoPhoeno Před 4 lety +8

      I can’t read mine

    • @Random_Snek
      @Random_Snek Před 4 lety +6

      Oh god my head hurts now
      ;-;

    • @No-ez9mk
      @No-ez9mk Před 4 lety +3

      GET OOUUUUTTTT

    • @animekittenplayz8729
      @animekittenplayz8729 Před 4 lety +2

      **lifts finger, opens mouth**
      **lowers finger, closes mouth**

    • @MrsLadyPerez
      @MrsLadyPerez Před 4 lety +3

      This reminds me of a video by CalebCity I once watched😭😭👌

  • @jeremyvillalobos4763
    @jeremyvillalobos4763 Před 3 lety +2

    my friend falls down a flight of stairs: I'm in Spain without the s-
    me: arnt we in your house?

  • @illegallyapollo1637
    @illegallyapollo1637 Před 3 lety +4

    "Be careful, it's hot"
    "Love you too"

  • @baileytownsend9622
    @baileytownsend9622 Před 4 lety +287

    “Suicide is the last thing I’ll ever do”
    That got me

  • @definitelynotmespamdeletin450

    "You drowned that person in the water"
    "I tied them up"
    "So what?"
    "The rope killed them"

  • @ProSkillzDragonGal
    @ProSkillzDragonGal Před 3 lety +3

    9:10 I swear Deku just keeps randomly appearing in like every video i watch XD

  • @addysart5027
    @addysart5027 Před 3 lety +2

    Someone: i like your name
    Me: thanks i picked it myself
    Person: *confused*

  • @GOTTHEDAWGINME
    @GOTTHEDAWGINME Před 4 lety +1245

    Fun fact: In *That Street* , Canada, there's a Minecraft store.

    • @SuperDZ555
      @SuperDZ555 Před 4 lety +35

      Spotted Star its probs too late to say this but I’m pretty sure you can get Minecraft for free by downloading Minecraft Education Edition

    • @ritasarker5871
      @ritasarker5871 Před 4 lety +4

      My sis is going too

    • @rosalbapadilla9704
      @rosalbapadilla9704 Před 4 lety +11

      Im. Am. Going. To. *Canada.*

    • @HydeTheCreator
      @HydeTheCreator Před 4 lety +1

      Bruh

    • @nisereenshamon5963
      @nisereenshamon5963 Před 4 lety +13

      𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝗜’𝗺 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗖𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗮𝗻.

  • @grumpy_bear0996
    @grumpy_bear0996 Před 4 lety +98

    “Careful it’s soup” reminds me of when I slapped my friend and I tried to say “are you ok?” and “I’m sorry” so I blurted out “are you sorry?!”

    • @sparklenights5421
      @sparklenights5421 Před 3 lety +4

      I’m dying

    • @mafu-omo
      @mafu-omo Před 3 lety

      same

    • @Jellywelly29
      @Jellywelly29 Před 3 lety +5

      This kinda happend to me while I was hiking with other people someone kinda tripped and I was trying to say "careful" or "Are you okay?" And I said "are you careful."

    • @stormdaboi7080
      @stormdaboi7080 Před 3 lety

      Midoriya

    • @smileyfacepalm
      @smileyfacepalm Před 3 lety

      Sit down x Stand up
      Stand down

  • @darkness_hound1375
    @darkness_hound1375 Před 3 lety +4

    9:12
    "I should've died 5736 times already"

  • @jomogaming2
    @jomogaming2 Před 3 lety +1

    "Those born under the sign of the bees: have at least a few friends"
    Guess I wasn't born under the bees then

  • @sejalpatheriya1756
    @sejalpatheriya1756 Před 3 lety +1793

    Fun fact-according to a Japanese legend, we can’t sleep in bed sometimes because our eyes are opened.

  • @oioioi9664
    @oioioi9664 Před 4 lety +69

    * at my friend's house *
    Friend: "Careful on the way home!"
    Me: "You too! Wai-"

  • @Cranecraher
    @Cranecraher Před 3 lety +3

    "Careful, It's soup!"
    That one really got me lmao

  • @humanitysenterprise
    @humanitysenterprise Před 3 lety +2

    This is the best channel for me and my comrades to watch, as it allows us to see subreddits without becoming a redditor.

  • @thelastoofer2131
    @thelastoofer2131 Před 4 lety +1780

    “Everybody gangsta till somebody isn’t gangsta.”

  • @Hunter-dy2xy
    @Hunter-dy2xy Před 4 lety +419

    11:33
    Well, it's better than saying
    "Here, your hot."

    • @BryanRodriguez-mr6fv
      @BryanRodriguez-mr6fv Před 4 lety +9

      That would be a roast if a girl didn't have make up or woke up wrong you'd just come and give her lipstick and say here your hot

    • @navyblue4051
      @navyblue4051 Před 3 lety +6

      Bryan I don’t understand? What do you mean??

    • @MINTERRRS
      @MINTERRRS Před 3 lety +8

      @@navyblue4051 They're basically saying that the girl is ugly, so if you walk over with makeup for them, you're saying they'll look alot better now.

    • @chickennuggets2638
      @chickennuggets2638 Před 3 lety +1

      Wait but what if you liked that person and was to scared to tell them? Wouldn’t that be good then?

  • @peridotthegreat2385
    @peridotthegreat2385 Před 3 lety +2

    9:11 this is automatically my favorite meme cuz izuku midorya is in it from my hero academia

  • @PeamThePanda
    @PeamThePanda Před 3 lety

    YES! Someone who doesn't make a bad joke ten minutes long every time after they read a meme! Subbed

  • @GaamingPros
    @GaamingPros Před 4 lety +660

    When dying of old age, is it not considered suicide? Your body is literally killing itself.

    • @DaemonsAdvocate
      @DaemonsAdvocate Před 4 lety +36

      Rubbish Ambush I’ve been saying that for years and people say no it’s not, cause life is literally a slow suicide after the age of 25, when your body stops growing and starts degenerating

    • @blewcraft.
      @blewcraft. Před 4 lety +28

      @@DaemonsAdvocate yeah but suicide is you Killing your body without consent and aging is your body Killing you without consent

    • @gimygaming8655
      @gimygaming8655 Před 4 lety +10

      I like this

    • @notime497
      @notime497 Před 4 lety +11

      blewcraft that right there, I can not compete I-

    • @Sin-yx6cq
      @Sin-yx6cq Před 4 lety +4

      @@DaemonsAdvocate im 15 and feel like I'm slowly going to die. Help

  • @themilkiestway
    @themilkiestway Před 3 lety +600

    "A school shooting happened"
    "It was a class photo"

  • @memuspeemus2736
    @memuspeemus2736 Před 3 lety +4

    Fun Fact: a speaker is loud when it’s on 100% volume

  • @jessicabeatty6349
    @jessicabeatty6349 Před 3 lety +1

    6:48-6:50 and that’s why John Carpenter thought of Halloween, to give people nightmares!

  • @waluiginumberone2184
    @waluiginumberone2184 Před 4 lety +702

    “Careful, it’s soup”
    I’m scared for no reason
    I am scared of the soup
    WHATS IN THE SOUP!
    Edit: why did 389 people like this?

  • @lillaiyv
    @lillaiyv Před 4 lety +307

    Do men still open car doors?
    Me: *no they smash the window-*

    • @soobinsaqtxt3021
      @soobinsaqtxt3021 Před 4 lety +21

      I’m just imagining a man and a woman walking to their car and the woman opens the car door and gets inside and then the guy pulls an axe from his pocket and smashes the widow and then wrigglers inside the car

    • @Smol-Michi
      @Smol-Michi Před 4 lety +2

      Makes sense

    • @wylsc1405
      @wylsc1405 Před 4 lety

      nice

    • @PolarBearLP
      @PolarBearLP Před 4 lety +4

      *GTA 5 Intro intensifies*

  • @yb6901
    @yb6901 Před 3 lety +11

    9:10 Deku-

  • @awildhorrorartist
    @awildhorrorartist Před 3 lety +8

    “A land- I mean WATER MINE.”
    Poor Britannic tbh she or he died from just a water mine

    • @TheAlmightyToaster01
      @TheAlmightyToaster01 Před 3 lety

      I think those are typically referred to as seamines, but I could be wrong

    • @awildhorrorartist
      @awildhorrorartist Před 3 lety

      @@TheAlmightyToaster01 They are though I haven’t seen the movie ;-; I already saw Titanic and I’m a bit over ships now-

  • @solarium3974
    @solarium3974 Před 3 lety +394

    “Buy a man an airplane ticket and he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life.” Well actually he will fly until he hits the gro- Oh...

  • @heystohbit5823
    @heystohbit5823 Před 4 lety +133

    So I work at a bank, and a lady came in with her card. She asked “Can you check my balance?” So I shoved her over, and replied with “your balance isn’t very good.”
    She started yelling at me 😐😐

    • @sdosarrii
      @sdosarrii Před 4 lety +10

      u little shit

    • @heystohbit5823
      @heystohbit5823 Před 4 lety +9

      @@sdosarrii thanks

    • @sdosarrii
      @sdosarrii Před 4 lety +2

      @@heystohbit5823 lmao i just saw what u replied and idk why KNOW but... bij i didn't mean ti lol...

    • @heystohbit5823
      @heystohbit5823 Před 4 lety +1

      @@sdosarrii I know! I'm just really sarcastic 😅😅

    • @sdosarrii
      @sdosarrii Před 4 lety +2

      @@heystohbit5823 back yo blue side~

  • @lilaclily3597
    @lilaclily3597 Před 3 lety +1

    “Oh hey! Yesterday was so pleasant, I was riding a beautiful gentleman!
    Wha-
    *”that stallion was so elegant and we even rode to the sunset!”*

  • @arandomguy517
    @arandomguy517 Před 3 lety +8

    “I see a little silhouette of a man on my shirt, on my shirt and he’s holding a mango”
    yeah I just listened to that for a good 20 minutes

  • @difficultfrequency
    @difficultfrequency Před 4 lety +73

    0:44
    nobody:
    literally nobody:
    me: “but it’s also the smallest”

  • @anaceofsorts
    @anaceofsorts Před 4 lety +170

    9:12
    I love how his shirt just says "I should've died 5736 times already"
    Izuku just can't help himself

  • @byronlogan8143
    @byronlogan8143 Před 3 lety

    The 'You can't say Have a nice next 24 hrs without sounding vaguely threatening' one is my favorite, I love to say that to my friends just cause.....its funny....

  • @JebblesGD
    @JebblesGD Před 3 lety +3

    11:26 THAT JOKE MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD!!! Haha

  • @rubub8455
    @rubub8455 Před 3 lety +3337

    Fun Fact: You're (probably) not in full screens right now.

  • @ItsZynix
    @ItsZynix Před 4 lety +216

    I laughed so hard you almost couldn't hear the hostages screaming.

  • @IHateOlivePeople
    @IHateOlivePeople Před 3 lety

    " People are dying who have never died before"
    The Afton Family: Yeeeaaaahh let's go with that

  • @Syncres_
    @Syncres_ Před 3 lety +1

    **This video haunts me, I see it at least once every two weeks on my recommendations when I watched it already**

  • @maclaram11
    @maclaram11 Před 3 lety +85

    3:07 "has at least a few friends"
    Ok, I was not born under the sign of the bees

  • @sstarrss
    @sstarrss Před 3 lety +91

    11:30 "Careful, its soup" this literally made my day i cant stop laughing

  • @rebekahl840
    @rebekahl840 Před 3 lety

    Dude this is my first vidoe I have ever seen on your channel and I gotta say, you speak incredibly quickyl

  • @shouryasingh2932
    @shouryasingh2932 Před 3 lety +2

    Normies:
    E Z
    P Z
    Smert people:
    E P
    Z Z

  • @dinkthegreatest
    @dinkthegreatest Před 3 lety +1330

    Wanna see a groundbreaking invention?
    ⛏️

  • @frostyyyy6506
    @frostyyyy6506 Před 4 lety +342

    60% of the comments: *oMg DeKu*
    30% of the comments: *Memes*
    8% of the comments: Lol this is funny
    2% of the comments: I a m d e a d i n s i d e

  • @EmuOtoriInAMountain
    @EmuOtoriInAMountain Před 3 lety +3

    9:11
    Okay, but I need to know who is Deku originally asking this to

  • @TheFaithfulOne-lb2uy
    @TheFaithfulOne-lb2uy Před 3 lety

    Someone: if you were born under bees you:
    -have emotions
    -think thoughts
    -is introverted or extroverted
    -has atleast a few friends
    -was born at some point
    people who are emotionless, dont have a brain, are ambivert, have 0 friends, and people who wernt born yet and/or never born: bruh.

  • @kimochi4568
    @kimochi4568 Před 4 lety +34

    They where two men, one says “My wife is an angel” the other man said “You’re lucky, My wife is still alive”.

  • @ogsuper8104
    @ogsuper8104 Před 4 lety +59

    "*The human body has enough bones to make a skeleton.*"
    i've been repeating that for 5 minutes trying to understand

    • @sana._.8040
      @sana._.8040 Před 3 lety +1

      omg hahah

    • @TELEK1NET1C
      @TELEK1NET1C Před 3 lety

      there's a skeleton inside us, so we have enough bones to make a skeleton

    • @ogsuper8104
      @ogsuper8104 Před 3 lety

      @@TELEK1NET1C my brain is hurt

  • @octo190
    @octo190 Před rokem

    This was a funny video and genuinely made me laugh.
    Thank you

  • @PrototypeVr
    @PrototypeVr Před 3 lety +5

    Me realizing this isn’t emkay: oh cool I’ll watch this more

  • @EchoCatAFK
    @EchoCatAFK Před 4 lety +41

    3:28 “Everyone has died, except those that are living” - quote by my mom

  • @substantial_mixture9100
    @substantial_mixture9100 Před 3 lety +764

    “When you close your eye you can’t see.” - Charli 2020

  • @cosmiccatalyst6448
    @cosmiccatalyst6448 Před 3 lety

    Feels good to know that zach is okay, I literally didn’t know that he was the star of this channel until recently

  • @benb5124
    @benb5124 Před 3 lety +1

    3:01 "has at least a few friends" I guess I wasn't born under the sign of the bees

  • @jasminetonner7409
    @jasminetonner7409 Před 4 lety +296

    9:10 I can't be the only person to think that looks like Deku from my hero acedemia

  • @tobiasfilms8825
    @tobiasfilms8825 Před 3 lety +62

    6:15 Wow, a true Soon-To-Be-Dad joke.

  • @arctic7127
    @arctic7127 Před 11 měsíci

    00:46 I literally spat my drink out all over the screen trying to hold in a laugh 😂

  • @mxsimp13
    @mxsimp13 Před 3 lety

    My cat clicked the like button on my computer and I was gonna do that anyway. Congrats, you have 2 new fans!

  • @ninefo_2252
    @ninefo_2252 Před 4 lety +51

    friend : you’re talking about death like you have died before...
    me: i have
    friend:when?
    me:before im alive

    • @grip5168
      @grip5168 Před 4 lety +3

      r/im14andthisisdeep

    • @Daelyah
      @Daelyah Před 4 lety +1

      When one takes coffee as dark as their soul...

  • @chunkycomet9117
    @chunkycomet9117 Před 4 lety +154

    I feel sad about humaity, the other day a grown ass man with 2 kids and a wife, argued with me, a 14 y.o. kid, that the earth was flat. I told him that if the earth was flat that the sun would be their 24/7 and that the moon wouldnt have a purpose, also that solar eclipses show a spherical shadow on the moon...his reply to those comments was..."the sky is an illusion, you cant prove whats in the sky is real, space doesn't exist"
    He also didnt believe in gravity, he said we are on the ground because of density, he said it was flat because with the use of *ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY* that you can see across lake Michigan to Chicago city Skyline which is only 400-500 miles, roughly 2.1% of the earth if my math is right. He said he doesnt like his kids being in school because the schools "brainwash us" and apparently his wife believes it aswell, im probably an asshole for saying this, but i honestly dont think these people deserve to have children.

    • @BakaBaka8146
      @BakaBaka8146 Před 3 lety +5

      Is there any problem believinv earth is flat? I dont think they can hurt other with their believe.
      Whats the worse thing they can do by believing earth is flat
      Unless they are anti-vaccine.

    • @chunkycomet9117
      @chunkycomet9117 Před 3 lety +18

      @@BakaBaka8146 its not a problem, but the thing is that this specific person is teaching his children to not trust anything that the government says, which if your not careful, could lead to them in prison or worse, dead.

    • @BakaBaka8146
      @BakaBaka8146 Před 3 lety +3

      @@chunkycomet9117 i see,i live in 3rd world country most people dont really care about earth.
      They dont even know where the next meal come from.

    • @Dots_The_Demon_Lord
      @Dots_The_Demon_Lord Před 3 lety +1

      @@BakaBaka8146 Must've been hard for you bud

    • @BakaBaka8146
      @BakaBaka8146 Před 3 lety +2

      @@Dots_The_Demon_Lord nah my family doing okay

  • @Max2ds
    @Max2ds Před 3 lety +3

    “How does spotting someone help you spot a transgender person...?”
    **1 minute later**
    “Ooooohhhhhh. Nice.”

  • @eucliid2370
    @eucliid2370 Před 3 lety

    The way you edit these videos disallows me to screenshot your damn memes

  • @TaborTips
    @TaborTips Před 3 lety +427

    Missed opportunity to call it “cards against humidity”

  • @emilynordmann2271
    @emilynordmann2271 Před 3 lety +203

    Fun fact: You can live life without doing these things:
    -Breathing
    -eating
    -drinking
    -being born