My partner isn’t ready for commitment (but wants to be ‘friends’)
Vložit
- čas přidán 10. 01. 2019
- Aaron writes, “Hi Susan, thank you for your videos it really help me a lot. Susan my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't ready for a commitment & decided that we should just stay friends. I got really hurt, but I accepted the "Friendzone" situation because I love him. Now I don't know where this thing’s going? I'm confused & don't know what to do--- do I just leave this situation? Thank you Susan”
Work with me: susanwinter.net/consultation/
The Dating Games Guide: You know you're being played, but what's the game?
And what's your countermove?
Not to worry. I’ve got you covered: susanwinter.retrieve.com/stor...
The Older Women | Younger Men Dating Guide:
Dating a younger man and wondering if it will last?
Attracted to an older woman and not sure how to make your move?
Answers to all your age gap questions: susanwinter.retrieve.com/stor...
Rough breakup?
Check out: Breakup Triage; The Cure for Heartache
Audible: www.audible.com/pd/Self-Develo...
Amazon: www.amazon.com/Breakup-Triage...
Wondering how to benefit from life's challenges?
Allowing Magnificence; Living the Expanded Version of Your Life
www.amazon.com/dp/1479176087?...
Do not accept a "downgrade". You will just agree to be plan B. Cut them off and move on. It will hurt like hell but the sooner you do it the less it will hurt.
Especially if he's angling for "a friends with benefits" arrangement. Only be just friends with a guy that you haven't slept with yet. That's easier.
It doesn't hurt if you have the correct amount of value and self worth
My boyfriends usually became friends. I grew up in a small town so if we all wanted a date for the dance, we had to!
nah just talk to more people and have other options to be interested in and then make the guy/girl a friend, you'll get to know people better fr as a friend and won't put them up on a pedestal as much
Self respect. ❤️
"You can be friendly, you do not have to be a friend" This is good
I just ignore her when she says hi lmao
You downgrade me Ill downgrade you
It feels amazing when you finally knock em off the pedestal
@@eatanotherzio6811 agree. Well played
🙏🏼
I love this! 🙌🏼
Right? That is a priceless quote to remember.
Another reason for being friend zoned - they want to go looking for other partners while using you for companionship cause they can't handle loneliness. Then they cut you off as soon as they've found someone else.
THANK YOU ! 👏
84% of the time
Wow
True!!! It happened to me
That's what I thought, very true!
Time wasted in the "friendzone" means opportunities lost. The friendzone is a commitment without benefits. You are not what that person wants and your attraction to them means you are avoiding the chance for a real relationship with someone who appreciates you.
Underated comment🔥🔥
That sums it up for me but it's sad and hurts as I really enjoy this man's company
@@denisedunn8976 I've been there. Years ago I had my heart SHREDDED by a demotion. I took it for a few years. Friend, friend, friend. But EVERYTIME I spoke to him or hung out, I hurt again. I finally ghosted HIM. It was hard but worth it!
@@charliemarlie2551 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾Gets better with TIME. Hang in there and one day you won't be sad. Trust me!
Very well said.
it’s a cop out, nothing more. don’t torture yourself. move on.
Agreed
Legit
Stop giving the good price out and massive discount. Pull away and connect with someone who value u
Seems like it's an American thing to befriend your exes. I live in Ukraine and I was in a relationship with an American guy. We lived together for 2 years. Things didn't go really well and we broke up because he said he fell in love with someone else. And after that he said he wanted to be friends with me. I told him to stay away from me as far as possible.
Stand up for what you want and if you don't get it move on
that attitude harsh better to friendzone them as well.
@@honestfella836 no it isn't! If that happens they get cut off. Especially if they began dating me. It isn't harsh. They are easring your time. I did that and feel nothing about it. I make that decision not you.
🙌🏿🙌🏿
Yes ! Cut the tie
True
"you can be friendly, but you don't have to be a friend." HUGE. so many ppl will try to take advantage of your care + affection without wanting to return the favor. protect your peace + energy, always...
Thank you for this well advice
1....Pain+selfworth(move on)💔
2......Pain+insult(friendzone)❣
choice is yours fellowssss
"Don’t let someone compartmentalize you for their convenience." You said this on a different video and it's true here.
I always thought it was selfish for a past lover to ask to stay friends. They basically still want your commitment and the benefits of having you around without any romance attached.
It's one of the hardest things to accept when you are looking for true love and keep getting friend zoned every time
Oh, I know this feeling very well. It sucks.
Yeah. It sucks!
Yes ! It hurts
More harder is when then accept the Relationship & then back out due to Some Lame Excuses. Then say You're are my Best Friend.
I guess best friend is Still no better than a friend.
It sucks! 😭
To me, the classic "friendzone" isn't what this situation is describing. It's being friends with someone _first_ and _then_ being rejected once you try to initiate something more. Breaking up with someone or getting dumped by them is just a natural part of life that we have to accept; remaining friends is just an attempt to soften the landing.
Is it healthy to remain friends in this specific case? Probably not, for your own sake. You may see a list of great qualities in that person that make them an ideal choice as a partner (beyond sex), but if they don't see you in the same way, then you're just spinning your wheels. You're lowering your own self-worth by leaving yourself open to them as an option. Best to move on like they did and find someone who's actually worth your time and emotional investment.
Like Susan said, you can be friendly without being friends. Be nice and diplomatic if they contact you, but don't ever initiate any conversation. Stop contacting them, stop following them on social media, and do your best to remove them from your mind. If they ever reach out with signs of romantic interest again, _then_ you can determine if they're worth it (but they probably won’t be since they don’t see what you see anyway, or don’t feel as strongly about it as you do). Until then, forget about 'em. They've chosen to move on and so should you.
You describe these two scenarios perfectly. I'm in the first scenario, I met a guy online in a dating site, we exchanged numbers and talked a few times, then he revealed to me that he wants to be friends and doesn't want a relationship but I want more. How should I handle it? what would you do if you find yourself in this situation?
@@veeoby3364 How is it going? Did he change his mind?
Good intake on this statement completely agree
@@cindys2995 They almost never change their mind, at least in my experience. It’s best to completely drop that possibility from your head and move onto someone else. It’s essential for your own self-preservation and mental/emotional health.
I was friends with a girl I liked for about a year, then I finally told her how I felt and asked her out on a date. Unfortunately she rejected my offer, saying that she cherished our friendship. I agreed to that because I didn’t want to lose her in my life, but it turned out to be a mistake. After some time of listening to her talk about other guys she was dating, it became too painful and I had to end all contact in order to protect myself. Six months after, a mutual friend of ours died, so I saw her at the funeral and then we got together to talk about its couple of times. I made sure to talk about just that and nothing else, but she mentioned in passing that she had a new boyfriend, to which I did not respond. She said it would be great if we could still hang out though. Being aware that I had no chance of a romantic relationship with this girl, I never contacted her again. It’s been since April 2022 that we last spoke, and it hurts that she’s out of my life, but it was necessary in order for me to move on.
Literally 6wks after I did not accept being friend zoned I met the man I married. I think it put me in a major mind shift which gave me a higher vibe. I knew I would not accept certain behavior or less than a relationship from that moment.
Good for you, I hope I will find mine sooner
That sounds great!! I’m going to do the same!!
Isn't refusing to be his friend a gamble because he could have left your life forever?
Wow it's kinda a relief to know that I'm not the only one going through this, being told to just remain friends.
DAMN GIRL ! You met your husband after six weeks. Wow wow wow BLESSED ❤️🥰😉
@@saltsugar212 me tooooooooo
After dating for 8 months, my ex was still "not sure" about our long term commitment, he wasn't sure about anything in his life either lol I set him free. I was stupid enough to have 8 months with him, I should have left sooner. I want to start a family in 1-2 year time and can't wait around for a confused guy any longer. Need to move on and find someone who is sure about me. Thanks Susan!
You think 8 months is a long time to date?....should be a minimum of 2-3 years. He was smart, he dug in - you were being pushy.
Scottish Clansman you’re not the insider. I didn’t tell the whole story here so don’t be quick to judge. You don’t know how much time value to us, women in 30s. 2-3 years is way too long to be in a no-future relationship!
@@kiringuyen - You (admittedly) didn't tell me the whole story, so don't admonish me for commenting on what limited info you presented. It's not about how little time you think you do or do not have. Because you're in your 30's and are pushing your agenda, that is *no* justification. Contrary to popular myth, women "cannot have it all". Neither can we men. We all make choices in life, and with those choices, come difficulties and compromise. If you read 8 months into it that it wasn't going to work, fine. But don't expect the position you put yourself in (being over 30 and Childless) be an excuse where you can successfully bull rush a man into taking the express line route into marriage. That's the perfect recipe for this just becoming a "starter marriage", where you get the kids, and to hell with the guy, after that. If you're up against time to that degree and want kids that bad, artificially inseminate.
@@Last_one_before_I_go well you have no right to judge people when you are not in their shoes. So keep it to yourself. Peace out!
@@kiringuyen - Because you don't care to expand on your story, I have no alternative but to believe you've lost in this discussion. I wish you well in life. Good luck in your pursuits.
Delete all their contact info, and never reach out.. After a month if they reach out, sure be friendly. But if you see no effort to see you, bye!
Hiw many cat you already have ?🤣
Whether it’s a man or a woman, this “I’m not ready” thing is a big lie. It really means “I don’t find you attractive enough”. You should move on and find someone with mutual high attraction.
Can mean they're hankering over a former lover
Attractive physically or mentally or both
Exactly.
This happened to me after 3 years of being a couple. Friendzone doesn't work.... all the benefits with no responsibility. We are now 6 weeks no communication.
It's a total "downgrade".
The right move is to leave, your just wasting time. He basically just leaving his options open.
"can we be friends?" after two years' worth of a relationship in which I gave more (emotionally and physically) than I received. What a coward. Such a cop-out move, while trying to still seem like a decent man.
Arthur Cribben If she did something then he should be adult enough to have that conversation with her and tell her why he’s breaking up with her.
this is word for word my situation too...
Exactly my situation, you got the Words in my Mouth dear.
After doing all everything for her. Emotionally & physically and not recieving even 1% of what I did she Backed out & Said. Rishi You are my Best Friend.
And poor me accepted it. The thought of losing her was Greater than being friendzoned. And After 7 months of Hate, misery & Slavery I finally Quit.
I am feeling too bad for now. Every now & then remembering her but I will never go back to her. NEVER.
@@rishisadaphal8445 bhai did she come back?? what happened after that ?
Just walk away bro and don’t look back. Friends come and go. Don’t be friend zoned ever!
After 4 years of being in a relationship( wonderful for the most parts) , engaged and living together for two of those years he ended the relationship with me. Saying that he wasn't ready and needed to find his purpose. I agreed to be friends as we were close to each others family, but I realised I don't want to be down grade plus he is still very affectionate , not knowing what he wants . I still love and care for him but it's time to let go completely.
I was in the same situation, never backed down, She left and guess what, she is committed to me. Don’t ever beg kings 💎
Its insult to me when your boyfriend at time says can we just be friends its hard but you have to walk away. If you have feelings your going to get jealous when they meet another woman( if they don't already have a new woman) and i think they want to be friends to string you along as a back up! Good video Susan.
Hi how are you
He's just not into you, period.
Yup.
5 days ago he said he has fallen into love with me madly & got attached extremely and can’t even dream about me talking to another guy and is afraid of losing me and after 3 days he says let’s take it slow , let’s be friends... how funny cz he is confused about his career and about commitment in a relationship. He is 4years younger but than dated for 7 months without these confusing thoughts about career, now suddenly career came in picture. Wat you say on this ?
@@evolvegetinspired2221 don't waste your precious time on someone who's not sure what he wants in life. If you want him badly, then just wait for him to make a permanent decision. Even after that if he says he wants to friends! , Cut him off . And live your life. Friendzone is equal to opportunities lost.
@@evolvegetinspired2221 be thankful it happened so quickly. My ex started off being serious with me, after a year he backed off even more, and after 3 years of my life have been wasted, he wants to be friends. Don't pay any mind to people who don't know what they want and play games.
This is why I call bullshit when someone tells me that they are friends with their ex. One of you (if not both) wants to get in the other person's pants
To me it's a set up to be used. He knows I love him, the power imbalance isn't healthy. I deserve to be seen as worth the risk, because all relationships are. I know I'm a good catch and I also know you teach people how to treat you. I understand his fear, but I rather us work on our issues separately if that's the case. It's probably up there with the top ten hardest things I've ever done. Especially when you walk away form a fire burning bright in your heart. IV had two other huge things happen recently in my life at the heart 💔 was number three. It made it even harder to go through atm. But I have a good feeling about my choice I know it's right. ✨✨✨
Step by step to better days.
Owhhh same here.. 🙃
I’m on a roller coaster and time I’m in pain I never felt then it plateaus a pause and on and off again
It’s hard work on the heart and with ego it’s harder
A stable relationship that has a great up is slow and moves forward is a lot better
COVID has put the brakes on socialising
But with Gods help I know there’s someone for me 70
Sometimes during that off time you windup finding someone else. In other words, they did you a favor. Accept what it is. The one time I can remember this happening, this person became less emotionally important to me pretty soon!
It’s going no where ... just like you think... he’s experimenting & exploring other options.. he wants you to be sort of the door mat or the dish towel
Well wow. Very helpful and reaffirming. As hard as it is to walk away from someone you care about deeply, it really isn't fair to either one to carry on something that inherently brings on mixed signals. I think the "let them miss you" idea is the better. If they do miss you, they need to think about why. And if they don't, then what's the point anyway?
If your ex acts like an asshole by breaking up with you out of(supposedly, nowhere).
Leave immediately!
Do not even go into no contact.
Do not accept friendship, it’s a low ball offer,
The key to deal with this is:
Never contact the ex for any reason
They are not worth your time whatsoever.
Leave!!
Hmmm. I'm not sure about this Susan. Many people offer friendship not because they genuinely want to be friends. They offer it because it lets the person down gently without any awkwardness and they can reassure themselves that they are not an a-hole, especially in circumstances when they were blatantly leading you on. Also, what happens when the person who downgraded you now gets into real relationship with someone else? Now you've opened up yourself to unnecessary hurt and pain. Sometimes they're even leaning on your shoulder for advice or to complain about the person they want to be in a relationship with. Nope! I say cut the cord and move on. Hardly anything good comes out of accepting the downgrade. Especially if your feelings for the person are strong.
@@2010annaalexandra thank you!
I agree!
But what if they came on to you first , then try to hit you with the friend thing off the top!!?
@@theroyalone7588 yes on this!
This is why she advises not to be a friend. She wants you to keep yourself as a romantic interest and if you should decide to stick with it...to see what comes of it ...along with a set time frame, you can then choose to remain friendly while leaning back. If you make it clear to the guy, that you don't need any new friends...he gets that each time you interact, it is romantic interest. Which could eliminate him treating you like a buddy who he sometimes flirt with at his convenience.
Pretend to be their friend. Act like you adore being friends with them and give em that fake smile. Then after a month disconnect.
How about a day??! Then start dating his co worker!! Acting all in love!!! 😃 okay we are just friends remember?!! Him: 🤬 You: 😂
@@hilo5901 lol😂😂 you are so silly lol 😂
😆🤣🤣🤣🤣I LITERALLY JUST DID THAT!!! I blocked him day before yesterday!!!😁😁😆 Smiled and chatted and consoled for exactly one month and half a week...then BLOCK! No warning. 😅😅
@@orridgenalcurlsncoir9253 oh you bad girl 💅
Take a step back and reevaluate what YOU want. Think on it ..meditate on it..then let go.
Love yourself and be Happy no matter the outcome.
😉
I love you carol
Hi carol I love you for long term relationship
I think Madonna had a song, iT had the line “second best is never enough”. IT applies for me to all arrangements which can be detrimental to your heart and self esteem (being friendzoned while in love, being the other person in a relationship while wanting to be the partner etc). Men and ladies: dont settle for less and move on!
Express Yourself 🥰
"Express Yourself", Madonna, 1989.
I've been looking for a video just like this for a while. Thank you so much for making it more clear. Friendly, but not a friend. Perfect!
Your channel has the best, ,most concise, true, and direct relationship advice on YT.
What an amazing advice, thank you so much! This will help me so much while being rational and protective towards myself!
I was in the same situation 4 months ago. it started to get better in the last few weeks.. I personally couldnt be friendly and wait, because it hurt too much. in retrospect it was the best decision to completely stop seeing that person. I needed to heal and I couldn't do that with him around. even if I only saw him every other week. Out of selfrespect I got the courage to delete his number and stay strong, even when he tried to text me a couple of times when he was drunk... what a weird and hurtful experience. I am glad 2018 is over :D
well done, girl!
Yes! Well done!!!
"always know what your goal is" and act on it. Thank you Susan for your wisdom.
This is perfect advice. I managed to come upon this strategy myself - in the process now, exactly as you describe it.
Thank you Susan. Seriously talking like you are a true diamond out here! Thank you soo much!! All your videos are straight up A+ without a second doubt! Happy new year 2019 and keep on going young lady!!
Very very VERY timely!
I cannot thank you enough for this advice, it confirmed what I was thinking and action I need to take.
Thank you again
I just found Susan online last night and although heard this advice from others, hearing it from her just cleared all my self doubt. She’s describing a situation that I am in perfectly. Just the fact others are going through the same thing made me feel better about myself. I intend to “binge watch” her videos this weekend
Simply said, you are a great coach. Your information is so well explain, clear, and really opens up my mind. Thank you for making my brain a bit smarter 🙂
Thanks for your clear and concise advice. Perfect, and actually you said everything I thought but wasn't sure I was right.
SUSAN I'M SO HAPPY OVER
YOU, BEING HERE FOR US
ALL, YOU KNOW HOW TO
TALK TO PEOPLE THAT'S
ALL READY DOWN AS LOW
AS THEY CAN GET, AND I
THANK YOU, WE ALL HAVE
FEELINGS,YOU LIFT US UP,
AS ALL WAYS, WE DEPEND
ON YOU WHEN WE ARE
DOWN, THANKS FOR THE
GREAT JOB THAT YOU DO,
WE ALL LOVE YOU, YOU
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND,
My husband of 25 wonderful years started out as my friend. There is nothing wrong with being friends first. In fact at times when I would get ticked off with him as my husband I still saw him as my best friend. If you are just friends then date others. Now that my husband has passed on I have to say that if God said to me you can have him back but only as a friend. I would say 'OH YES YES" in a heartbeat. The embers of romantic love die down over the years but a true friendship with a your best friend always stays warm. You people seem to just see a relationship as hot sex. Ha good luck finding that for a life time.
Yes that could work. But not other way round your lovers and they want to be a friend with you nope no way!
LadyofCleves65 thats true. However there is a crucial difference between being in a reciprocal friendship vs the friendzone which is an unequal situation that puts the man in an advantageous situation not to take responsibility for their actions or lack thereof. If someone doesn’t want to settle for friendship they shouldn’t. Its way too comfortable for the other person and painful for the one kept in the friendzone.
@@pam164 I understand that may make you feel bad, you want him/her as a lover but they just want friendship. Well as I said be friends but date others. I will tell you something, many a friendship has developed into great loves. I do wish you the best of luck and in the end you must follow your own heart. Did it ever occur to you that while your friends sees you dating others it may him/her jealous and get their mind thinking. It worked for Maria Barone, LOL.
@@leeorsay7944 Ok but we can only be friends.
@@LadyofCleves65 He left me for another woman and he was horrible and cold about it i had been seeing him 3 years i was gutted. Couple months later we got talking and he wanted me as a friend and as a Fwb! Meanwhile still seeing this woman! All i got was how happy he was with her and he wishes i could meet a nice man! Made me feel like a reject! I was so jealous and hurt and he loved that! I was dating and he didn't seem bothered. I cut him off 18 months ago blocked him best thing i did for my mental health. At end of day he had me then wanted to down grade me to a friend! Nope thanks.
Great video Susan. Please continue to help relationships
Thank you Susan W for reminding us .. no friend zone is best for our Heath and peace of mind
to remain friendly but not friends love this perspective. in my mind, I am walking away for good, with high value.
Exactly!!!
Sure you can be friends! But don’t get mad or sad when they text you they’ve met someone fabulous, and is going on a date. Remember, YOU agreed to be friends. It doesn’t matter that you both had an occasional shag twice a week, YOU agreed to be friends. So, wish your friend well in his/her new relationship, and be prepared to hear how happy they are, or be the shoulder to cry on when things do not work out. That’s what friends do.
"Friends" is such a broad term, though. A "friend" can be a friend from work, or it can be a longtime close friend from childhood. The latter is the shoulder to cry on; the former is one you just say hi to and occasionally talk about TV shows with. When we agree to stay friends, we're not necessarily signing up to hear them complain to us about their new significant other (nor should we feel obligated to). They decided they don't want us in that area of their lives. We need to recognize our own boundaries and what's best for us.
A person would have to be very noble and deffinately not jealous for "friends" to work. Unless you are Gandi, this will prove problematic. Sexual relationship by it's nature is posessive and sharing a person with another one cannot be done easily.What about the new person? how do they feel about sharing?I stayed a "friend" with a former lover only because I wanted to end it, because he was cheating. And I remember having a bit of a thrill, when he came to cry on my shoulder. What can I say I am not that noble. But by the way we are still both single. So who won?
No cannot be Friends, once your mind has all those Good thoughts & Dreams. It's impossible to be the Same person again. You'll feel bad when they get into relationship. Its better to End it & move on.
@@rishisadaphal8445 I agree, friends care and wish the best for each other. If your former lover finds a new lover, you, as their true friend should be happy for them. If you are not happy for their happiness, you are NOT their friend. Period. Also, a friend from work , described above, is not a friend but a friendly coworker, or a buddy.
The level of closeness goes from this to this :
-a friendly acquaintance/an acquaintance
- a buddy(an acquaintance you look forward to seeing again and again)
- a friend-buddy OR a casual friend(a friend by chance, not by effort),
- a friend( a friend by regular effort - people put effort into staying in touch),
-a close friend (you are committed to staying in touch and both put effort to see each other)
-a very close friend (is like your family, you are committed to that person, but also trust them and care for them - they are a significant part of your life)
As for sexual in connection, it could be added to any of those friendship levels. Without discussing what it exactly means to each person, you never know where you stand exactly.
this response was savage
He wants to be friends, that's ok. I'll be his platonic friend (no friends with benefits or physical intimacy allowed), while I date other guys.
He doesn't want to be friends.....he's an orbiter and you know it.
You can be friendly, but don't need to be friend. Good advice. I love it. Thank you. This video really answered my question. Thank you, thank you so much. God bless.
Some men hang on to the friendzone so they can circle back around for sex.
Diseases are something to be very concerned about!
No Contact. It's the best thing to do for safety and happiness.
Make your life a huge priority in 2019 and beyond! 😄
true, they want to be just friends...with benefits!
Friend sex sucks !
Men are selfish when they say that and you had been intimate with them.
@@kiringuyen Yes totally agree thats what my ex boyfriend wanted he had his girlfriend he left me for! But said if i wanted him to come over wink wink! If he was free!! He would come over, Blocked!! Tosser he is.
@@pam164 same here, and I totally believe your ex doesn't love anyone but himself. Not you, not his "new gf". My ex has acted the same way, and it just shows me that he's so immature. I'm glad I'm away from his BS and so are you :)
Thank you again so much. You always help to clarify a situation I find myself in.
I needed this so badly! Thank you Susan!
Thankyou for your wisdom. I always find your videos very helpful.
Perfectly articulated. Yep walked away no friendship
This topic is exactly what I'm going through again with the same person.
The word "downgraded" helped me make the decision to walk away.
I'll try to do it with a smile on the outside and fade away.
Thank you Susan you're awesome !
Wow This was very helpful. Feels like I'm stuck in this grey area with my significant other. Thank you always for the Great advice.
Thank you for this question and answer! I have been going through something similar with a 3 year relationship that has now taken a step back for various reasons. Now that i have stepped back, i can see more clearly how he really views me, and how i view him.
He is not committed and don't love you enough. Don't waste time.
Another great video. Thank you Susan!
I have to work with him. He hated it when I pulled away and he kept approaching me. I flat out told him I would stay professional, but I didn't need to be friendly. LOL! He still tries to find ways to approach me everyday and I have gotten so good at non reaction. I know what I want. I won't settle for scraps.
Susan, you are a GENIUS.
Your advice is always spot on. I love the way you speak and dress,very classy! Younger women could learn a lot from you on respecting themselves and leaving a little to the imagination. Again you're one Classy and Beautiful Lady. Thank you for what you do!
I really needed this advice, thanks!
Ms Susan; Only want to write you a BIG thanks. Your advice is timely and important to remember. "You can be friendly without being friends" This is alot better than being in front of judge or worse IF it should ever get to that point! The downgrade HURTS of course but ultimately it was for the best. SHE wanted it! So the fade began and eventually after awhile I did move on. Truly I want to thank her I was more mad at her not a happy person. Now there is joy in my life again. Strange as it seems SHE wants to come back! Should have seen the look on her face when I said "let's be friends and friendly" Pretty much ended and now? Blue skys shinning on me. 🕶
Such a beautiful grown understanding woman thank you Madame love from Algeria 🇩🇿🙂
being put on the friends zone it's hard
after dating for 6 months I was offered a friendship relation from one day to the other lover to friends
my answer ... thank you but no thanks
it's been 5 months no contact , I decided to move on and it's been for the best
Maria Luz Lopes I imagine he will come back around too
@@ginamorton3062 I love and respect myself, to allow him to come back into my life
I moved on I learned to put myself first
Good for you!
well done!
@@Mia.Lopes-22 at least you love yourself I am happy for you .. some girls don't even love themselves enough
Every video I watch of yours it's like you are talking to me specifically and I watch them all so I must really be a mess. Just kidding but thank you so much for your time and effort to comfort and guide confused couples.
Friendship works best if it's mutual. If you both decide you don't make a good couple and decide you're better friends that is one thing. Often that happens when you started out as friends in the first place or were together for a long time
Thank you for this video it opened my eyes up to what's going on. But I still feel stuck and I'm feeling stupid.
Just wow. Thanks for helping me see things clearly.
Thank you. Wish I found this video before things blew up
3:20 Spoke to me,
I was spending time with someone non stop for 3 months only to be "friends", it ended up she had ex-bf baggage and was heartbroken most of the time. I said those exact words of i'll be friendly but its definitely dependent on the situation. at the end of the day, Im dating the girl now. Doesnt hurt to be a friend, just dont be friends with someone you have passion for.
It helped me so much !!! Thank you Susan . 💔
I'm so glad! Thank you for your comment, Anita.
I really needed to hear this. Thank you
Great advice.
Thank you Susan. You are amazing
Susan, I love your videos and your approach on relationship topics. It is so refreshing to hear your opinion as it differs to most advice you can find online. Lately I have been stumbled across the "no contact rule" after a break up on youtube (it is everywhere) and would love to hear your opinion about it, I am not sure if you have already talked about this topic specifically .....Lots of Love
Great advice Susan thanks
I'm glad that I refused to be just friends.
Yes absolutely helpful this video for me thank you Suzan!!!:)
Thank you for advise , very helpful
Good one! No downgrades, only upgrades. ;-)
Excellent advice
Great advice 🎯💯
@Susan Winter I think you are brilliant!
Thank you, Susan!
I have searched up "who wants to be friends?" and somehow this came up.. guess i'll have to watch this then.
Thankyou for your advice
Well Said, Ma'am..👍🏼❤
People Should Talk/Discuss Clearly Abt Their Own Intension To Enter In A Relationship With Someone At The Stage Of Begging Of A Relationship & Definitely Shouldn't Let Them Play With Ur Emotions If U See/Sense They're Player Jst Stop To Waist Ur Tms & Energies With Them🙂
Finally an advice I can use :)
Wow nothing to say about this. When you have to live with the relationship between u and me. Thank you for your help with making it all my fault to are kids. Thank you for the first time I fall in love with you. It was O.K. and not so good at times but that's life. Your show going good keep up the great work.
I agree to be friendly showing them that you are not a bitter person and you are not affected to their action and but not be friends means their is no attachment at all anymore
I have been there and it is not a good situation. First test the waters, flirt a bit by touching and tease with words. If that doesn't work best to walk away and never look back. Also remember being in the friend-zone or platonic relationships will prevent you for moving on to find someone better.
Thank you Susan, I have always wondered about this very topic. Can I be nice to someone that I was in love with without being their friend. I'm glad that the answer is yes. Because I'm an empathic person, and if I hurt someone's feelings, it bothers me. But, at the same time I know what I want in relationships, and settling for less is no longer an option for me.
Hello You must be strong and know that you have great confidence because you have a good heart
So on point!