Secret Service Agent: How to Find Your Voice, SPEAK UP, & Communicate Well | Evy Poumpouras

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  • čas přidán 16. 10. 2021
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    On Today's Episode:
    Check out Evy’s Book: Becoming Bulletproof here: amzn.to/3vOnPAQ
    This episode is brought to you by Evy's new course Becoming Bulletproof: How To Read People And Detect Deception. Go to bit.ly/3bK0buu to learn more.
    Though we all know how important communication is for literally every relationship you have, very few have taken the time to learn how to do it well. When communication is not done well, relationships suffer, individuals suffer and the consequences can be high stakes.
    If there’s any chance of your communication needing improvement, you’re in the right place. Grab and pen and paper, you’ll want to take notes and add this to your favorite playlist to listen to again. Evy Poumpouras is a former secret service agent and an Unstoppable Badass, here to lay out everything you need to know about communication alongside Unstoppable Badass, Lisa Bilyeu. Spoiler Alert! This is about you, and the tactics you can learn and practice to improve your communication skills to build rapport. It’s not about what the other person should do.
    Unstoppable Women of Impact Tips:
    Build rapport
    Tell the other person exactly what you’re looking for
    Evy’s Strategies for Building Rapport
    Acceptance: recognize what is being said without trying to change or protest it.
    Adaptability: able to adjust to new conditions or circumstances.
    Autonomy: having the capacity to make informed and un coerced decisions.
    Empathy: ability to see from the other person’s perspective
    Unstoppable Communication Questions to Ask:
    Who are you speaking to?
    Who is that person?
    How do I speak to this person?
    What is your goal and what is the best way for you to achieve that goal?
    Unstoppable Key Terms:
    Rapport: The ability to understand and communicate with people
    Mirroring: When one person imitates how the person across moves, talks or acts
    Identify Based Motivation: Where perception of self motivates you to take action toward a goal
    Instrumental Based Motivation: The end state is what’s motivating the person to take action
    Relational Motivation: The way that two or more people are connected
    Order Evy Poumpouras’ book, Becoming Bulletproof: amzn.to/3hDQ4e4
    SHOW NOTES:
    Build Rapport | Eva on why established rapport is a ping pong match for communication [0:45]
    Strategies | 4 ways to build rapport and keep people talking and communicating [1:41]
    Using Strategies | Example for using these strategies with close relationships & situations [8:07]
    Building Blocks | How building rapport establishes connection, trust and faith [10:23]
    Close Relationships | Handling rapport and these strategies with close family & friends [13:28]
    Being Adaptable | Not being so rigid, allowing people the space y build rapport [16:15]
    Lisa’s Rapport | Lisa shares behind the scenes ways that she builds rapport with guests [17:51]
    Get In Synch | Identity motivation vs instrumental motivation & getting to cooperation [19:26]
    Cooperative Zone | When you find a way to move the conversation forward together [26:53]
    Motivation | Eva explains how to use base motivations to get in synch and adapt [33:20]
    Identity Vs. Instrumental | Lisa and Eva showing you how it’s done [34:03]
    Choose Your Words Thoughtfully | Define words that you use, comply vs. resist [35:40]
    ‘No’ | Improving ways that you say no with compassion and without being harsh [41:38]
    ‘Sorry’ | Ways that language diminishes you when you apologize for everything [43:13]
    Word Play | How words land with people: powerful, shut people down, provoke reaction [46:25]
    Word Challenge | Lisa & Eva share how different words make them feel [47:13]
    QUOTES:
    “When it comes to communication, rapport is king. When you have rapport you have trust. When you have trust you have cooperation.” Evy Poumpouras [0:48]
    “I have someone who’s giving me no trust, and I want to move that relationship forward, I do it through rapport.” Evy Poumpouras [8:00]
    “People don’t remember what you say to them, what people remember is how you make them feel.” Evy Poumpouras [26:23]
    “Rather than me trying to change you, I’m going to adapt to you.” Evy Poumpouras [29:23]
    “Language can also diminish you and there are some people who their language is littered with, ‘I’m sorry’ and I think when you use that language when it lands on that person, it lands in a negative way for you.” Evy Poumpouras [43:39]
    Follow Evy Poumpouras:
    Website: www.evypoumpouras.com/
    Twitter: / evypoumpouras
    LinkedIn: / evypoumpouras
    Facebook: / evypoumpouras
    Instagram: / evypoumpouras

Komentáře • 465

  • @LisaBilyeu
    @LisaBilyeu  Před 2 lety +81

    Drop in the comments who you would like to be able to communicate more effectively with. Also join Lisa and Evy in the LIVE chat during the premiere October 17th 9AM Pacific!

    • @Hyderagean
      @Hyderagean Před 2 lety +8

      My mom. 🙄

    • @lauramosneagu6177
      @lauramosneagu6177 Před 2 lety +6

      I would like to be able to communicate better with myself as I feel that I am not good at identifying my needs and this makes go into a vicious circle of binge eating and so on.

    • @_asantesana_squashbanana_
      @_asantesana_squashbanana_ Před 2 lety +3

      Any advice on abusive family members that you are not in the financial or geographical or emotional position to cut off or fully grey rock yet? Thank-you for your time xxx

    • @_asantesana_squashbanana_
      @_asantesana_squashbanana_ Před 2 lety +3

      Your advice has already helped me de-escalate several volatile situations, thank-you for giving the knowledge and skills to start protecting & validating myself. On the journey out. Any advice would be gratefully received. Especially if one is the family scapegoat/black sheep and has barriers to escape.

    • @_asantesana_squashbanana_
      @_asantesana_squashbanana_ Před 2 lety +3

      I have sacrificed many years of my life for my siblings and pets to ensure their care and to keep the negative attention and focus on me as I am the oldest and I wish I had someone like me to turn to when I was younger, perhaps I wouldn't be so damaged. Still I have failed them. They also are damaged. I'm 28 and my youngest sibling has 2 years before she turns 18 and wants me to live my life. I am trying to move forwards and become the person I know I have the potential to be, albeit a little late.

  • @zainabthedragon6528
    @zainabthedragon6528 Před 2 lety +143

    Evy and Lisa are an unstoppable duo

    • @lisabilyeu8103
      @lisabilyeu8103 Před 2 lety +3

      Hahaha thanks!!!

    • @SydMountaineer
      @SydMountaineer Před 2 lety +6

      I agree! They are a great pair! I love the way Lisa is so very inspired by learning as much as she can - she is so very authentic, they both are.

  • @gabrielaradu2970
    @gabrielaradu2970 Před 2 lety +58

    This is how I've got hurt, when I didn't said NO at the right time, to the wrong people. Narcissists will feel like their ego was attacked no matter how gentle you are when you speak. They think that they're entitled to get anything they want.

    • @ninjagirlnomeansno9403
      @ninjagirlnomeansno9403 Před rokem

      Absolutely tremendous, I understand what you are saying, Peace, love to you, Thank you 😀😀😀😀😀😀😁😁😁😁😁💞💞💞

    • @connie10000
      @connie10000 Před 11 měsíci

      Yes, I hear ya. Narcissist need to grow up😊

    • @doriannemosich232
      @doriannemosich232 Před 24 dny

      Narcissists can be intentionally malicious vindictive destructive, they come with a pattern of a long failed track record, they refuse to learn & are criminals. They can't be trusted & they are only there to deplete your success and steal & make you like them a failure that doesn't make sense. They are envious of everyone that is contented and successful.

  • @_pudu661
    @_pudu661 Před 2 lety +85

    Rapport Strategies: 15:08
    1. Acceptance
    2. Adaptability
    3. Autonomy
    4. Empathy
    1. Beware of your ego. Remember that although you may not agree with someones POV, identity, their opinion, their decision, their feelings, etc, what will move you forward is accepting it. Not as your own pov, identity, opinion, decision, etc, but that THAT is their reality/experience.
    2. Beware of the ego, its a conversation, a ping pong, not a checklist of saying what you need to say or getting info. Know what your goal is for the conversation but adapt to change in topic, let them take you on a ride, be considerate, then when the moment comes, you can bring it back to your intention. Rigidity will make you unhappy easily. Adapt to the waves, dont try and control the ocean.
    3. Give others the dignity of decision
    4. Seek first to understand, then be understood. Understand their point of view, their experience, feelings, motives.

    • @prismonthethehorizon5793
      @prismonthethehorizon5793 Před 2 lety +3

      Cool, really good note taking, you covered something I missed....really really helpful seeing this. Hope it helps you alot, the book is cool too xxx

    • @mehrinali4783
      @mehrinali4783 Před 2 lety

      Thank you!

    • @dawnnj3235
      @dawnnj3235 Před 2 lety +1

      Thanks I added this to my notes on brilliance.💪😉

    • @wolfgang7812
      @wolfgang7812 Před rokem

      I disagree with being taken for a ride! You don't want to be taken for a ride with another person especially if they are toxic!

  • @myacct8304
    @myacct8304 Před 2 lety +93

    I love this so much. This is why I have resistance to sayings like, "The truth hurts," and be "brutally honest." The truth doesn't have to be painful in order to land, and if one can't control whether or not they hurt someone with their words, then they haven't learned how to properly communicate.

    • @bereal6590
      @bereal6590 Před 2 lety

      So true... I say this to people close to me, does ialter absolutely not as they aren't listening and only care if it's directed their way! 😊

    • @BellaM_1011
      @BellaM_1011 Před 2 lety +9

      I think you can definitely control your words and I do agree that being "brutality honest" is a kind of excuse to say whatever you want to say without minding the person on the other side. There's a heart and a soul hearing your words and you have to be careful but taking accountability for another people's feelings is too much. You will never be able to please everybody. You can say something that will hurt somebody but the difference is: you can do this purposely or without intention. Some nice words can unfortunately still hurt if the subject is delicate. I believe the whole point is: I can take control and responsibility for what I say but I do not agree that "I can control how others feel about it."

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 Před 2 lety +2

      @@BellaM_1011 49:00 😂

  • @velvetgardenia
    @velvetgardenia Před 2 lety +79

    This will ABSOLUTELY be listened to more than once! Words, and their delivery are SO IMPORTANT, and I think few people stop to really think about the power of words- which is tremendous.

  • @LouisaWatt
    @LouisaWatt Před 2 lety +58

    There’s some people where you intuitively know that they don’t receive some things very well, so I’ll attempt to deliver the softer version of a message, but… they’re also the same people who don’t listen properly or WANT to hear anything which isn’t aligning with what they want… so then I have to be blunt and at that point they explode in rage, or accuse me of hurting them and being a terrible person.
    There are some people who make it impossible to communicate with them.

    • @hissyfitz7890
      @hissyfitz7890 Před 2 lety +17

      Usually narcissists… if you don’t buy what they’re selling they explode. 💣💥💣💥💣💥💣💥💣💥

    • @steveblobs4851
      @steveblobs4851 Před 2 lety +6

      It's always worth to try and move on without these people in your life. No people are indispensable. I know it can take time and effort, but is always worth it.

    • @bereal6590
      @bereal6590 Před 2 lety +2

      Same here 😊

    • @user-cl6uj5bn2f
      @user-cl6uj5bn2f Před 2 lety +3

      YES. Cluster B's 💯

    • @hissyfitz7890
      @hissyfitz7890 Před 2 lety +1

      @@user-cl6uj5bn2f - 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯 - have removed the 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝 from my life! 😆

  • @maya.lingreen
    @maya.lingreen Před 2 lety +140

    Absolutely LOVE these videos with Lisa and Evy - so freaking inspiring and applicable to so many situations! More please!!

    • @bumblebee803
      @bumblebee803 Před 2 lety +1

      I also love seeing them together, especially as a fellow Greek lady (in Australia).

  • @SydMountaineer
    @SydMountaineer Před 2 lety +20

    "Read the face" - Lisa is so authentic - her ambition /eagerness to learn & teach and how she goes about it makes her a SUPERHERO!

  • @joannachimonides3644
    @joannachimonides3644 Před 2 lety +133

    Saying 'NO' indirectly may cause the other person think that you actually say 'MAYBE' so it may give them hope that you may change your mind about something. Maybe it's better to politely say NO and then explain why? The worst truth is better than the best lie❤

    • @steveblobs4851
      @steveblobs4851 Před 2 lety +12

      I guess it's a cultural thing. In my culture people indeed need a direct "no" or else they will take it wrong. In the US (or Spain or UK) it's different. As she said, adaptability is the key.

    • @zin82e98
      @zin82e98 Před 2 lety +3

      I agree. Say no thank you because such and such, so that they understand it’s not them you’re rejecting

    • @thegiftofguidance
      @thegiftofguidance Před 2 lety +4

      Varies depending on the situation. Some Nos should be very stern to protect yourself and your identity. But when someone lets themselves be vulnerable with you, say an acquaintance, usually shy asks you to brunch but they’re very negative and drains your energy, you can say no politely. Depends on who u are as a person too

    • @sweetbabyem
      @sweetbabyem Před 2 lety +2

      That's there problem, no is no, no is not maybe and if you can't grasp that you'll probably end up in jail lol

    • @steveblobs4851
      @steveblobs4851 Před 2 lety +1

      @@hopeful9160 Nobody argues with that. But a person will want to know why. Don't you think it's rude to walk around cutting people off with your NOs,?
      "Shall we meet up after work?"
      "No".
      "Why not?"
      "No is a complete sentence. Sorry, have to go now".

  • @elenafetter9690
    @elenafetter9690 Před 2 lety +53

    Language is the most important tool for empowering yourself and others. Thank you, Evy, for your terrific book!

    • @wolfgang7812
      @wolfgang7812 Před rokem

      Just be careful you are not empowering psychopaths; sociopaths and narcopaths.

    • @elenafetter9690
      @elenafetter9690 Před rokem

      @@wolfgang7812 I have noticed that those types of individuals are not really self reflective. They tend not to read empowering self help books. They dont think they need help. You are not in danger.

  • @user-ee4xu9lh4k
    @user-ee4xu9lh4k Před 2 lety +29

    5 mins in and Evy’s method of “softening” a no is the thing I abhor most. Being vague is manipulative and disrespectful. If someone can’t handle a no, and they take your honest truth personally and make that about their identity, that’s a boundary break and NOT your responsibility. People feel when you respect them even if declining the thing they want. I simply cannot understand why we would want to coddle and perpetuate this all too common selfish mindset that comes from a lack of healthy boundaries. Softening makes everything worse. It disrespects yourself and them. Pain is not a bad thing, it helps us learn and grow. If someone needs to experience enough hurt to get to the point they seek out and learn healthy interactions, wouldn’t that be ideal for them/you/society/their future generations? Time to evolve. With full compassion for all of us and the world we are currently creating for the generations after us, can we not harbor and thusly condone dysfunctional ways anymore please? This is genuinely a “survival of the fittest” issue. If a family line doesn’t learn and pass down healthy behaviors, the family line won’t continue for long. That’s how it’s supposed to be. This type of manipulation will leave others confused, feeling like there’s no ground to stand on with you, and they’ll lose respect and not want to interact with you. And when that gets passed down, it will work less and less so that it isolates to extinction. Just tell your truth, clearly, with kindness and respect.

    • @wolfgang7812
      @wolfgang7812 Před rokem +1

      I think true rapport IS based on kindness and respect; as long a there are fluid boundaries (boundaries which push back when imposed upon on).

    • @therealkoolaidandkale
      @therealkoolaidandkale Před rokem +1

      Thank you. I felt like I was the only one listening to that part going, "...but Evy, you're so succinct and direct in everything else..... what's wrong with respecting yourself enough to just say NO if that's what you really feel?? 🤔"
      I just had someone whom I consider an unofficial mentor reach out to me for help, but I would've had to sacrifice my values. While other people focused on who this person was and what the situation could POSSIBLY do for me, I could see that it wouldn't work out like I hoped and it was more important to me to preserve the relationship. So, I said: "I'm honored that you considered me, but because I'd like to maintaining the respect that I have for you and this relationship, I'm declining the role."
      She respected me for my honesty. Now she has a better idea that I'm confident enough to exercise strong boundaries no matter who's at the other end, and considering the other person as a whole is important in any relationship dynamic.

  • @eleen78
    @eleen78 Před 2 lety +33

    I can't wait. I love Evy and Lisa.

  • @NathalieLazo
    @NathalieLazo Před 2 lety +31

    Hey YOU, incredible person reading this...The truth is you are confident and good enough already with who you are, where you are at and what you have right now to have the success you want in life. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn that skill and go after it! I believe in you so much! Have an awesome day! - Love, Nat ❤️

  • @karlif9013
    @karlif9013 Před 5 měsíci +1

    that Ponytail on POINT !! 😻🌟 these interviews with Evy Pompouras are so helpful. Many thanks Lisa Bilyeu & team

  • @c.a.sword26
    @c.a.sword26 Před 2 lety +28

    I would love to be able to communicate more effectively with my 11 year old son.
    Speaking with your child in an understandable and effective way feels like it can change daily!

    • @GB0915
      @GB0915 Před 2 lety +3

      Yes! I was just thinking this about my 7 yr old daughter. It’s such a challenge at times, but, as Evy & Lisa would say, It’ll get better. We don’t communicate well enough YET. We WILL learn how to better respect each other through our communication & actions.

  • @OceanOfLight
    @OceanOfLight Před 2 lety +14

    Evy and Lisa...partners in Prime! Love you guys thank you for everything you do to share with us ...Im empowered more with every word ...

  • @DaisyAruba
    @DaisyAruba Před 2 lety +364

    Why doesn’t anyone talk about siblings ? It’s always a parent or a friend or romantic partner. It is SO RARE to hear “or a sibling” on any video that I watch for help.

    • @rebeccacharles5758
      @rebeccacharles5758 Před 2 lety +12

      👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

    • @lyn8490
      @lyn8490 Před 2 lety +39

      Same ! I have trouble with my siblings too ... ur not alone at all itz just not talked about much

    • @taliagoodwomanmann
      @taliagoodwomanmann Před 2 lety +26

      Unfortunately, inhad to learn through experience about sibling betrayal. I am the youngest of five girls and all of my sisters betrayed me terribly.

    • @CessLa2oya
      @CessLa2oya Před 2 lety +5

      I would like that too✔️

    • @hissyfitz7890
      @hissyfitz7890 Před 2 lety +6

      🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯

  • @Penelope642
    @Penelope642 Před 2 lety +15

    I’m halfway through Becoming Bulletproof and this information really helps to cement the concepts of the book. Also, love the editing and the vignettes!

  • @corses700
    @corses700 Před 2 lety +28

    I CANT wait to watch this, previous interviews were so worth to watch, you guys need to see more Evy interviews just type her name and there is plenty more

  • @txspacemom765
    @txspacemom765 Před 2 lety +7

    What do you do if a person just cannot communicate and it's frustrating you because you have tried everything with them? At that point, I feel like they are hiding something. I stopped using "I'm sorry" about 3 years ago and it's made people realize that I mean business . Y'all need a tv show, tour, a bus, everything and take this global! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @katarinahinsey3931
    @katarinahinsey3931 Před 4 dny

    So what I'm getting from Evy is she doesn't give a crap about your long drawn out personal story, but as a rule she lets you get it out and halfway pretends to care so that you'll keep on doing whatever it is she needs you to do. This woman is a true genius.

  • @anjalijha5014
    @anjalijha5014 Před 2 lety +4

    I love Evy! Ever since i saw the first video on this channel. Thanks women of impact!

  • @aedanaussieable
    @aedanaussieable Před 2 lety +7

    I’d love to hear the tales on detecting and communication non visually. As a legally blind woman being able to better read, adapt and move conversation would be a huge help.

  • @lifespanwellnessbeauty-60i64

    Those were the magic words right there, "No, thank you." You're firm, but kind.

  • @lozb1631
    @lozb1631 Před 2 lety +5

    As a lady listening from England I love your interview techniques. You ask all the right questions from a place of love and kindness. Keep up all the amazing work you do Lisa x

  • @julianadolski1742
    @julianadolski1742 Před 2 lety +13

    I don’t comment too often, but this was HANDS DOWN one of the best episodes I’ve ever listened to. Thank you, Evy and Lisa ❤️!!

  • @yeswevalidate1590
    @yeswevalidate1590 Před 2 lety +16

    I have a friend who seems to trash me/insults me every chance I see her, but because she’s a “Jersey girl” all of us friends make excuses for her Lack of restraint. I don’t let that stuff in anymore but it affects others.

    • @jasmineg9738
      @jasmineg9738 Před 2 lety +12

      Being from a certain area doesn’t excuse someones behavior. I am from Jersey. Anytime a person is excusing their behavior I look at it as a warning

    • @ksl3240
      @ksl3240 Před 2 lety +8

      Agreed. I’m from Jersey too. The state you are from does not impact the integrity of your character or your ability to treat all people with dignity.

    • @borednow
      @borednow Před 2 lety +10

      that is not a friend

    • @caseteamcouture8633
      @caseteamcouture8633 Před 2 lety +1

      I get that at the Greyhound aaalll the time! Them:“ I’m from New York!”
      Me:”Ummmm you are not there now”
      I don’t get why people use a location to justify their ridiculousness.

  • @bonniecook2578
    @bonniecook2578 Před 9 měsíci +1

    ❤❤powerful duo! Love you two! Bought Evys book and took it to my kids. Required reading!

  • @thereallinnz9407
    @thereallinnz9407 Před 2 lety +5

    Let me just say that you two are onto something together🤔! Something about both of you together really gets me pumped!!! I'm so ready for this

  • @Natalina_World
    @Natalina_World Před rokem +1

    You both are incredible! Thanks a lot for this video!!❤️

  • @claudinediamond2555
    @claudinediamond2555 Před 2 lety +4

    I love you guys.
    I needed this today.
    I work in criminal defense and have looked at countless phone records. I am with Ev on the hesitation to text. Lol

  • @m.s9146
    @m.s9146 Před 2 lety +8

    This is very helpful. I’ve always been a good negotiator and now I understand what I’ve been doing right. You never want to take all of someone’s power away. As an attorney, I’ve gotten people to back away from law suits numerous times, but never take away all of their power. You’ve got to find people where they are, recognize it and let them lead with their story while you empathize.

  • @lianemichaud2631
    @lianemichaud2631 Před 2 lety +10

    Lisa and Evy - Both of you are rôle models and empowering examples. THANK YOU ❤️

  • @zazuzazz5419
    @zazuzazz5419 Před 2 lety +5

    I love tuning into the wavelength of this Grecian Powerhouse! ⚡️ 🌊 ⚡️

  • @lcd8326
    @lcd8326 Před rokem

    ITS ABOUT ACCEPTING WHAT SOMEONE IS SAYING AS THEIR TRUTH!! SO GOOD!! 👏

  • @AlexanderGolovatiy
    @AlexanderGolovatiy Před 2 lety +3

    You know what? I've watched this episode in the 5am, laying in bed and trying to fill the night gap... and I think this made my day. Subscribed

  • @alinelovespink
    @alinelovespink Před 2 lety +1

    You two are SUCH a powerful combination 😍 I love love love to listen to you! I'll watch this episode definitely more than once, there is so much to learn and I am excited to do so. Thank you for being here and please go on with UNSTOPPABLE 💗

  • @EvosAndMakeup
    @EvosAndMakeup Před 2 lety +2

    I ADORE these two women!! Such a great duo!! I can’t get enough of them ♥️ I’m reading Evy’s book right now and it’s AWESOME!! I watch everything I can on these two women. I really look up to them, and find them so freaking inspiring ♥️

  • @yuliya2201
    @yuliya2201 Před 2 lety +4

    always looking forward and love these ladies' conversations! so empowering

  • @AshleyEhSMR
    @AshleyEhSMR Před 2 lety +5

    The word ‘SELFISH” makes me think of someone who’s inconsiderate. Someone who does what makes them feel best, not necessarily what’s right.
    Ex. Attacking a partner or friend with harsh words because it makes them feel better, regardless of how it made the other person feel.
    Mind you, I can understand it as positive, depending on the context and situation.
    Not that anyone asked me to play the game 😅

  • @wintersongdeclan
    @wintersongdeclan Před 2 lety +1

    Evy's voice is so calming and soothing, I don't care what she's talking about. I Lay's feel better after I listen to her speak. ❤

  • @samidolloff4624
    @samidolloff4624 Před 2 lety +6

    I am so excited 😆 I love these videos. You guys are amazing 💖

  • @tamifayette
    @tamifayette Před 2 lety +4

    I have been wanting to learn this for so long. Thank you thank you thank you for doing this, Evy and Lisa!

  • @kimberlyowens3279
    @kimberlyowens3279 Před 2 lety +2

    Evy ALWAYS brings it!
    I hang on every word

  • @SouthFloridaWoman
    @SouthFloridaWoman Před 2 lety +2

    You two together is gold!!! 🪙 Thank you ladies for the collaboration. Can't wait for what the future holds.

  • @mariehelene-sarda
    @mariehelene-sarda Před 11 měsíci

    I love you 💕, what you share here is really reassuring for me because these last years I identified that with my partner we had communication troubles but he didn't recognize that and said that everything was fine. And little by little it strengthened so I became more and more mute when I was asked for justifications or I received negative comments supposed to be humour...
    My warnings and demands to find a solution, to take time to understand each other didn't succeed then I put all this to an end because it was too suffering and diminishing. I can say that I lost myself and confidence during that time and felt less and less valuable. I felt that something was wrong but had no one to talk with because of the pandemic situation. I would like to have friends like you to talk to from time to time, love you ❤
    Again, thank you deeply, thanks to you I don't feel crazy anymore !! And I see that this can be solved with, of course, the participation of both sides.

  • @kalahnn
    @kalahnn Před 2 lety +1

    Hello from a 24 yo woman living in France. Thanks a lot for what you do. You are so inspiring

  • @wizzymel
    @wizzymel Před 2 lety +1

    SO thankful I found this channel. These discussions are life changing. Your duo is amazing, please make more !

  • @elenafetter9690
    @elenafetter9690 Před 2 lety +17

    Thank you Lisa for providing this platform for great discussions!

  • @jecellefetzer8716
    @jecellefetzer8716 Před 2 lety +1

    Words don't have to be harsh to land on someone. That is excellent.

  • @bykatherina113
    @bykatherina113 Před 2 lety +2

    Powerful 😍 thanks for doing this Evy & Lisa!

  • @yes7855
    @yes7855 Před 2 lety +3

    Relational, identity, and instrumental. Such good classifications! Thanks for presenting this interview to us, you two are a joy ⚡️⚡️💫

  • @jpn_119
    @jpn_119 Před 2 lety +2

    Absolutely love Evy, she's always got amazing advice, I have her book and its great. I have learned soo much from her! Thank you Evy and thank you Lisa for having her on the show so much! Would love to meet both of you someday.

  • @mew-tt7wj
    @mew-tt7wj Před 2 lety

    I just started getting into watching Lisa and Evy talk in their videos with such relevant and fascinating topics, I LOVE IT. It's currently a daily motivational boost for me. I feel inspired every time, thank you so much for being outstanding role models.

  • @clairegarlick
    @clairegarlick Před 2 lety +2

    Really loved this episode! Clear and actionable info! Thanks ladies!

  • @jannamartens8066
    @jannamartens8066 Před 2 lety +1

    It’s so important to feel heard and understood for who you are

  • @jeanettesimpkins7660
    @jeanettesimpkins7660 Před 2 lety +3

    Love these ladies! Ya'll have helped me in every relationship in my life but mostly enlightened my relationship with myself!😇thank you so!xoxo

  • @athulyasurendran7639
    @athulyasurendran7639 Před 2 lety +1

    I'm so grateful for the work you do... I'm leaning so much from you two ❤️

  • @jasminjam8743
    @jasminjam8743 Před 2 lety +1

    Evy is such an amazing person. Lisa is amazing as always.

  • @stephaniegentryart
    @stephaniegentryart Před 2 lety +2

    Love the concept of this channel and the things you talk about! Most of this really resonated with me. I would love to hear some broken down thoughts on why you would look for a new friend if they are always complaining about things. And what the balance is here then. Because there is room for healthy back and forth. Being there for each other comforting each other. All those things. But like that was and wasn’t covered. I ask. Because I’ve just been through this. On both sides of the coin. I had a friend let go of me. Because they thought I was always talking about the problem and not growing. Granted they didn’t say that. They passive aggressively said that in a very cold hearted way. In the same way. I had to let go of a friend. Whom was always complaining about her problems and never finding a solution. But it took a while. Because I wanted to give her the chance to figure out what she needs or what would help her. It is not my job to do that for her. It is my job as a friend to be a listener. Maybe offer some advice if it’s asked for or ask them what they need. So my question is how much of this is considered okay before it becomes not okay. To the point of looking for a new friend. And would you talk to them about it first ? Would you give them the chance to correct it before moving on? I’m terrified to post this here because it’s something vulnerable that I’ve been processing through. But I wanted to share it because it’s something I’m noticing more and more in my life. And others. And I think it’s valuable to break this down more. Because every situation is different much respect to you ladies! Thank you for what your doing !!!!

  • @enielleinnah
    @enielleinnah Před 2 lety +1

    I love those skits/short clips inserted in between the video. I was having a rough day and this video showed up. It's not by accident, but it's a coincident. Thank you ladies

  • @kendallhopkins1009
    @kendallhopkins1009 Před 2 lety +2

    Love this Unstoppable video . I think you can always get better with communication.

  • @annaamalia7189
    @annaamalia7189 Před 2 lety +1

    Excellent forum.very interesting approaches. Guilty of " I'm sorry " is used to often .now I have more confidence. Not my fault the elevator got stuck and I'm late. 😊.

  • @recoverywithlee2591
    @recoverywithlee2591 Před 2 lety +2

    Key tip everyone, start to notice the patterns in your opening of sentences when in a stressful situation, FOR EXAMPLE, "You always say..." I feel bad, but..." , these ladies are bang on. This was a key approach in my rehabilitation program and certainly helps those I guide. Best wishes and practices to all of us!

  • @kalimistakidou9103
    @kalimistakidou9103 Před 2 lety

    I’m watching this video on my phone and immediately acknowledged how you two ladies emit such powerful energy. Such powerful women. Efharisto poli x

  • @emma1912
    @emma1912 Před 2 lety +1

    I bloody love you two, thanks for these amazing conversations

  • @guytonphotography
    @guytonphotography Před 2 lety

    You two are my heroes. You have inspired, motivated and reminded me of who I am and what I'm worth. God bless you both! Thank you so much for sharing your strength, knowledge and inspiration with the world.

  • @racheltrevillion6238
    @racheltrevillion6238 Před 2 lety

    This was absolutely awesome! I took so much away from this. Going to watch it again to make sure I got everything 😃Thank you so much Lisa and Eva! ❤️

  • @jecellefetzer8716
    @jecellefetzer8716 Před 2 lety +1

    Dude I've been working on saying no and it feels so good. When I feel like I want to do something, then I'm actually fully mentally present.
    I love using "Thank you for your patience".

  • @jossmarro5452
    @jossmarro5452 Před 2 lety

    Amazing video! Always looking forward in seeing them together! Evy please show us your workout routine and what you wear to protect yourself while working out in the elements because you look amazing ! Thank you ladies for this empowering video 💛

  • @louisedeutzebeling6748
    @louisedeutzebeling6748 Před 2 lety +1

    I love this!!! This should be taught in schools!!! I wish I had been taught this earlier!!

  • @aiysha07
    @aiysha07 Před 2 lety +1

    Absolutely loved this episode! learnt so much and especially the whole identity vs instrumental - that was eye opening!

  • @LadySevereGenerator
    @LadySevereGenerator Před rokem

    Lisa & Evy! Thoroughly enjoying the dynamic between you two. So powerful and you both are bad ass!! Thank you so much for these jewels of wisdom!

  • @Anastasia-ps1lv
    @Anastasia-ps1lv Před 2 lety +1

    Greetings from Greece❤ really appreciate both of you and the work you are putting out there thank you🙏

  • @helenemoody3869
    @helenemoody3869 Před 2 lety +1

    Thanks ladies awesome refresher course! Have a great week everyone

  • @carolperara6894
    @carolperara6894 Před 2 lety

    Yay ! Can’t wait! Looove these girls!!

  • @dianakr.9981
    @dianakr.9981 Před 2 lety +2

    I´m so much with you Ladies! You make a lot of times my day. Thx...from Germany & when I can´t sort it out in my motherlanguage I switch to english, helps me handle things better.

  • @sole_to_soul
    @sole_to_soul Před 2 lety +1

    Thank you for this awesome interview, and for the notes in the description (great for review)!

  • @AiriAnew
    @AiriAnew Před 2 lety +1

    Love the two of you. So many useful information. Thank you 🙏

  • @mirafiori1990
    @mirafiori1990 Před 2 lety

    LOVE this formula, kudos ladies!

  • @daisybrown6141
    @daisybrown6141 Před 2 lety +1

    Two amazing women! Unstoppable! Yes please! Thank you ladies for your guidance. God bless you both 💖

  • @ligiasommers
    @ligiasommers Před 2 lety

    Love Evy and her book , so thank you for the helpful episode 🙏🏻💖🌹

  • @angelm6497
    @angelm6497 Před měsícem

    Evy Poumpouras; I have total respect for this woman and her skill and experience; especially being X military. But I also believe that communication is the basis of a successful relationship.
    But I can't stand ambiguity in language, but then I am a Sigma INFJ personality type. I don't like to define my personality like this; but this is the easiest way to convey my intent at this moment. I appreciate that other personality types need more fluffiness. A constant criticism of me that I am not fluffy enough in my presentation. However, I am highly empathic with a very high level of compassion.

  • @lynda_lou
    @lynda_lou Před 2 lety +1

    Oh my gosh this was so fun!! Love you gals xx

  • @bookwormswriter1078
    @bookwormswriter1078 Před 2 lety +1

    10:43-14:27)
    Confidence-empowering and remind me to be authentic. I love it so much. Gives me faith
    We need to talk- Is it serious? Is everything OK?
    Selfish-50/50- depends on the situation. Self care OK because it's self respect. Not caring for others though and ONLY just you then not so much OK. We all matter.
    No- I'm fine with that. If something is more important than what I need then I'll give "RESPECT" and let it go.

  • @jennywho604
    @jennywho604 Před 2 lety +6

    I love all your conversations together & I’ve learned so much. I rewatch them too as I need reminders. Thank you, ladies, for sharing your wisdom!!!

  • @loveisallthatexists
    @loveisallthatexists Před 2 lety

    Hahah okay the dumbbell skit got me.
    I'm really glad to be in a relationship now where communication works. It's so so important in relationships to be honest and curious, about HOW the other communicates. Great video, thank you both !

  • @tweetiepie1542
    @tweetiepie1542 Před 2 lety

    Absolutely brilliant! Thank you ladies for all of us women and men out their who just need to break it down and build it back up softly and correctly. Xxxxx

  • @verynice126
    @verynice126 Před 2 lety +1

    I love you two together. Girl power!

  • @ginahansen8428
    @ginahansen8428 Před 2 lety +1

    Thank you for the RAPPORT part of this training. I didn't think about the importance of laying out a starting point with the other person, before starting a conversation. Love the interaction between both of you, thank you!😜👢

  • @juliobravo-pallero879
    @juliobravo-pallero879 Před 5 měsíci

    Been binging all the videos of you two talking. Gold! Although I do think someone should apologize/ say sorry when they are late. Only because you both are agreeing on a set time, when you could be doing something different or be with someone else. So no matter the reason, being late just is the person not putting enough time or effort to get where they need to be. I understand random things pop up to make people late but, I also do notice that when someone brushes off being late, they tend to be late in future events as well. Just my thought, continue the great work.

  • @musicmoviesandmediaworldsnt126

    when you say No you are also setting a boundary with white gloves Standing up for your self by saying No that you wont tolerate something....can hurt someone's identity..... understood and explained very well... you are so kind and a genius. i am reading your books!!!!!

  • @thalleaolivia
    @thalleaolivia Před 2 lety +1

    this is so helpful!

  • @haidyyousif2125
    @haidyyousif2125 Před rokem +1

    Big THANK YOU❤ ,I Learn much

  • @jannamartens8066
    @jannamartens8066 Před 2 lety

    Awh hugs and smiles that’s beautiful

  • @sagewise1823
    @sagewise1823 Před 2 lety +1

    She's my all time fav podcast guest ever!

  • @kinga3198
    @kinga3198 Před 2 lety +3

    You girls rock! Love you both ❤🖤

  • @unkiesacredspirit4938
    @unkiesacredspirit4938 Před 2 lety +1

    Wow!! This is so informative..thank you!!

  • @sarahbenmusic
    @sarahbenmusic Před 2 lety +1

    That ending ahah!! Loved this episode, very insightful! Thanks so much!