@@connorsmith9244 ahhh, finally!! Thank you for this comment, I just checked (briefly skimmed the video), and the improved version does finally seem to have finished syncing/processing... yay!!
Actually, I think the first question should be: why do people feel free to make ugly comments. 🤦🏼♀️ I just don’t get that! I very much enjoy your videos including this one. Thank you for the encouragement! I do get paralyzed when I don’t have confidence that I know what I’m doing. I learned to sew watching CZcams videos during the covid lockdowns. I found something I absolutely love. You’ve been a part of this fun journey. Thank you for all you bring and do. ❤
I (fortunately) have never been bothered by other people's nasty comments because, among other things, I realize that it's absolutely a reflection on them and not on whatever part of me they're commenting on. Unfortunately others are more sensitive, and those nasty comments have been enough to discourage many a budding sewist, which makes me so sad. As someone else just commented, "stay in your lane and lift others up", right?!!
This is where I'm really grateful for my grandmother who taught me how to knit. Whenever I showed her something I'd finished. she'd admire it as I held it up, then she had me trained to *turn it inside out* for inspection. And it really was an inspection. She used to work in a factory sewing stuff on industrial machines, and had learned how to knit in school. She probably spent more time looking at my seams and yarn end finding, but you know what? She gave awesome feedback, and always made it clear that even if my seams were weirdly tensioned or my end darning overly creative (er, there was a phase I went through in high school), it was still totally cool I could wear something I made. She never made me feel like I had to unravel the whole thing and start again. There were a few times where she stepped in so something wouldn't fall apart on me, but even then it was in the context of, "you'll be able to do this yourself eventually." She's passed away now, but I'm trying to do this with my sewing as well. Is it wearable? Yes? Then stop whining, I tell myself. I'll do better next time.
I absolutely love that approach, although I admit, when I read the first part of the sentence about her inspecting the inside of your work, I was expecting a different outcome, but I love where it went! This is such a healthy type of approach to constructively improving your crafting, I wish everyone could be more like this! Lovely lovely memory of your grandmother, thank you for sharing!
Love it! In the wise words of Samuel Beckett: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” Congratulations to anyone who has ever sewn anything at all, regardless of the end result, especially in an age of throw-away mass production. You made that yourself? That's amazing! Well done you! Lots of similar discussions have just been taking place during this year's International Bra Sewing Bee (which I came across for the first time a couple of months ago): this great forum was so encouraging for beginners and more advanced sewists alike. Very refreshing to have all the experts and fellow sewists confirming: 'Don't worry! Your first 2/4/6/8/10 bras won't fit, but that's part of the learning journey fun and everyone is here to support and encourage you'. And yes. My first bra was a disaster. But I'm looking forward to the next!
@BeMoreBarnaby love this, and what a great quote too! Congratulations on your disaster and to the learning it provided! Huzzah to making more and learning more!
This was the perfect video for me this morning. I lost my job yesterday because the business is shutting down. I started job hunting yesterday afternoon and was totally overwhelmed by not being able to totally fulfill job requirements, seeing no point in applying. You've really helped me to see that actually I have nothing to lose, there is no perfect job or perfect candidate. And if I don't get them I've actually lost nothing. So I'm going to put my big girl knickers on and apply for them. You never know
I'm so sorry to hear that, loosing a job is never easy or fun, and I hope that the situation ends up leading you to newer opportunities elsewhere. My policy in situations like that is always to ask myself "what's the worst case scenario?" and if the answer is then I just say "F-it, let's go for it!"
Long response, sorry in advance: Don’t be discouraged because of skills gap. Just wanted to say that my whole career is due to one very good boss who called me in for an interview and decided she loved my personality and that it was far more important that I could work well with the rest of her team than to know the entire job from the start. She gave me the chance and it was the best job I ever had. Unfortunately, the company around us went downhill, so I found myself again looking for a job, but experiencing the same skills gap issues as you. This time I knew I needed to apply for everything and hope that again someone would be willing to take a chance on me. I was very up front in my applications and Linked In that I love to learn new things. This resulted in a ton on no’s and ‘you are not qualified’, but one excellent boss interviewed me, loved my willingness to learn, took a chance, and now I have a great job and make more $ than I ever thought possible.
I was going to day the same thing as Shannon! Just go for it! It can't really hurt to apply for jobs and they might see something in you that you don't. Good luck you've got this!
I spent a whole month going to one job interview after the other, each of them found I was “over qualified” and thus did not get the jobs, one guy told me to my face that he would not hire me because I would end up taking his job😳😳😳, so I packed my bags and flow to the States and backpacked around for a few months, loved it never the end I was getting homesick and felt I needed to fly back home, got to their airport rang my soon to be hubby who told me the agency found the perfect job that I was to star there on Monday morning🙀🙀🙀🙀no wonder I got the feeling I had to get home asap. Sometimes you just have to step away and I’m glad I did this, I mean the whole reason I quit my job in the first place was because I wanted to travel 😹😹😹, because I did not do this no job interview worked out for me at all🤔🤔🤔. I’m glad I took the time to visit the States when I did, I needed the brake and fresh new places to visit. Now I’m in part if my life where travel is not as simple as it use to be, but that’s okay because now I get to spend more time with my many different hobbies in my life. I hope you find the right job, just take this as a step of a extra holiday and enjoy the journey.
I was diagnosed ADHD last year at 50 years old...it explained SOOOO much abt me. I can be notorious for not finishing projects (or not starting bc of motivation challenges). Now, if I find I'm making a lot of mistakes or having little difficulties (running out of bobbin thread, needles coming unthreaded, etc.), I accept that The Force is not with me that day and stop. If I start off well, but notice that I'm rushing, making mistakes, and getting frustrated after a few hours, again, I stop and return another day. I'm probably getting tired or hungry and need to step away. Mainly, I think we need to show ourselves a little compassion for simply being human.
I got my diagnosis at 45, and totally get that too. Any time I try to 'power through', it just doesn't work out, and I need to step out of the room/away from the machine for a day or more. I don't know how many times I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong in the moment only to come back the next day and go '.. . oh.'
Diagnosed at 44, it’s been frustrating to have maximum creative ideas and minimal motivation, and especially as I go through menopause, being kind to myself is key that and setting tiny goals to achieve xx
Totally agree (even without ADHD)... breaks, if one has the luxury of time to be able to take them --and hopefully we all do, since it's a hobby-- can make projects just feel so much more enjoyable, avoids pushing through bouts of unenjoyable sewing... so many benefits to taking breaks!
My favorite saying is: Being good at something, does Not mean that you don't make mistakes, but that you are Better at Fixing the mistakes, When they happen.!.
I’m just getting back into sewing after many years. I gave it up because I found myself gathering the ideas and materials, but never executing. I know now it was fear of failure that kept me from getting past the starting line. TBH, it’s other CZcamsrs like you that gave me the confidence to fail, bc now I see that every single garment maker struggles with something at some point. And you are completely correct that sewing adds extra stress to be perfect, because I’m also an artist and do not have that same fear of failure with my other mediums. Keep doing what you do and know even your failures inspire the rest of us.
My favorite thing to say to myself while sewing “Ugly sewing is historically accurate.” I also have ADHD so here are some things I’ve found that work for me: - for the first year of my sewing journey I didn’t iron a damn thing. I didn’t like the extra steps in between sewing seams. I’ve added in a bit of ironing over time but I do it in big chunks. - wearable mock-ups. If it’s a pattern I’ve never used before I often make it out of a cheap fabric I bought at the second hand store that I like. I get to live in the garment and decide if it’s worth sewing again and any tweaks I might want to make. - my mum always reminds me of this “Fabric isn’t wooden” it can’t be cut precisely down to the thousandth of a whatever. It will shift and stretch and it’s not going to be perfect and cutting/putting it together a little wonky is okay and probably going to happen a bit anyway. - if I don’t like an element of a garment the pattern is telling me to include, I don’t do it or I do something else. Linings? Not a fan. Zippers? Not my jam. I French seam the straight seams and use a lot of hook and eye tape and buttons instead. - side seam pockets in every lower garment. I have a pocket pattern that I re-use all the time. It’s massive. If I don’t suspend the other side of the pocket from the waist band I can fully fit a regular size bottle of wine in there.
So many good tips here, I love them all, so I'll only comment on a few - agreed that batching steps is super efficient (I try to sew all my darts/tucks, etc in one go). Also "fabric isn't wooden" puts into words something that I've been reflecting on too, as I sew! Great phrase! Thanks for sharing
I am sewing a small simple lined curtain while listening... now I just realized I did not sew with right sides together. I've been sewing for many many years. It's okay 😂 Relax. I will take a break and return with renewed enthusiasm. I believe you are spot-on Shannon. Comparisons and perfectionism along with a tight time frame are all reasons sewing in home economics in public education was a large fail. Just keep going! You can do it!!
The greatest gift I ever gave my creative self was permission to mess up. I got real with myself, acknowledged I was going to make mistakes, made it ok, and reminded myself that I can learn from them. I was also given the phrase "Better an imperfect finished project than a perfect forever project" and it reinforced making it ok to make mistakes
I am a perfectionist and many times projects have made me cry. Or rather, I made myself cry by pressuring myself. As such, projects often didn't get finished, because somehow the last ten percent of sewing are the hardest. I had a knitted cat missing only one ear, a pullover missing one sleeve, a dress needing hemming etc etc.. My tip: I have a "day of the unfinished project" (DOTUP) I set a day aside to simply finish some stuff... As sloppily as I'd like. There's no rule, done is done and done is good. Once the first project is finished it's so much easier to do the next, so I often end up sewing well into the night.
I love picking up old projects and seeing how far I've come!! I recently unpicked one of the first dresses I ever made and resewed it. It was very rewarding. Though it was riddled with "flaws" I remember being deeply proud of it when I made it... and it served as a memorial to my progress :). How nice it was to thank it for helping me get better and then to refashion it into something new!!
I absolutely love that idea - I feel like time often gives us the distance necessary to appreciate all our work, effort, success AND improvements! Great tactic!
I have been sewing for 70 years and that has taught me to take my time especialy as I can buy so many high quality clothes in charity shops and adapt and embelish them thus making them unique. As a trendy teenager I made Quant designs because I could not afford new clothes and home sewing was normal but things have changed. I was happy to have 3 or 4 new garments a year. Slow fashion is still my ethical choice and I'm surprised younger people hope to fill their wardrobes with as many handmade clothes as they may have bought from shops in the past. If you take your time and sew for pleasure you will still have good clothes that really suit you fit to wear in 10 years time. You can edit out the shop bought duds once you build your own collection. So set a long term goal not a short term deadline
I'm AUDHD, and yeah. Perfectionism is a struggle. I remember having a bit of a breakthrough when I told my therapist that I couldn't be a perfectionist because 'I've never made anything perfect'. It's funny now... I'm still early in my sewing journey, made tricker by me having sensory issues, chronic pain, weird proportions and being very plus size, and my biggest tip is honestly not to push through. When I'm frustrated with a project I love to set it aside for days, weeks, even months, and go work on other things. It stops me getting bored, and allows me to give things the time they need. I would NEVER do 2 mock-ups in a row because my ADHD brain wants things done NOW, but if I put a month between them it doesn't infuriate me. It means I have multiple projects on the go between sewing, crochet, and other crafts, but they do EVENTUALLY get finished. I recently stepped in out in a handmade linen split side tiered skirt with a hand painted faux leather corset and I got so many compliments, even though I'd really not been happy with the finishing on either. Forgiveness and variety go a long way. As I type this I'm in the middle of a second mock-up of an Edwardian-style waistcoat, and I'm so excited to come back to it after the time away.
Two things that have helped me with my own perfectionism: The on-purpose-bad project (I did this with writing, where I keep a terrible movie script I've been writing on-hand to write more terrible scenes for, and it's very freeing) and the "make this to throw it away" project, where I start a project that I know I'll either paint over, strip down and start over, or really just throw it away, just to get some techniques or starting on having my hands do something while I'm learning or waiting for inspiration.
Yesss! One of the videos I linked in the description (the one by struthless) talks a lot about this concept - really good video, highly recommend it, it's very entertaining. And also there's the CV of Failure, which I'm absolutely going to do a video on my own at some point... While I love the concept, I admit I do struggle to incorporate that specific tactic into my sewing, simply because it feels like a waste of materials to me... but I could absolutely see me using it in something like writing, or out of garbage materials in a non-sewing project!
I just finished a button-up shirt that i wanted to give up on a couple of times because it wasn't coming out perfect. I'm so happy I took the time to regroup myself and stick with it! It makes me so happy to wear, even with it's imperfections. And to top it off, i learned a ton of new skills that'll be easier the next time i do them. ❤
Perfect timing! I am a recovering perfectionist and last night some of that perfectionism sneaked in again. I am doing a garment in a technique I never done before and some of my top stitching wasn’t the straightest. My brain went back to old habits “how can you not sew a straight line after over 20 years?” Like you I also share my work online so I had thoughts of people writing mean comments about my not so straight lines. But hey we all make mistakes! I have never done this technique before. And unless I stand there looking at the garment with a magnifying glass I don’t think you will ever notice. I also love the tip about looking at other garments. One thing I want to add is that if you look at a very well made ready to wear and feel a bit inferior is that those garments have been going through several iterations and refinements in the construction before they went to production. The person making these garments has most likely also made many similar garments before. They might even specialize in that specific technique. Therefore we cannot demand the same level from ourselves when we are making our first version.
First off remember to feel sorry for the people who have lives so very horrible that the only way they can feel good is to make others feel bad! So disregard any negative comments! Second cut yourself some slack. I've been sewing for a very long time and I still make silly mistakes and yeah sometimes that annoying voice in my head says "really after all this time you still can't do it correctly" sometimes the mistake becomes a decorative feature sometimes it gets picked out. You will always notice the little imperfection because your the creator! Your look for them. Most of us are the over all garment not the stitches! Took me years to see that the things I thought stood out no one else saw! There isn't a neon sign pointing at while flashing look at this! I know it's really hard but you have to remember it's about the projects not the individual stitches!
I cannot sew a straight line after over twenty years either.. They're getting better, but even with a machine I'm all over the place. I compensate by cutting the seam allowance off any close-fitting pattern and drawing my stitch lines, then freehanding the seam allowance lines.
When I was watching this, my brain swapped out the word "sewing" for "drawing" for a split second and this video still made all the sense in the world. What a well done video and pep talk because this topic is truly universal! Thank you Shannon!
Yea, it's so true that theres a lot of this that is pretty universal. Maybe not all of it, but so much of it can be taken and applied to other creative endeavors... or even life in general!!
When I worked in alterations, our mantra was, "It should look like you were never in there." Of course that simply means from the outside. It didn't mean we left it sloppy but we were mindful to leave it as clean as possible. However I remember my boss saying, "There's a difference between a home sewer and a professional." I am team There Doesn't Have To Be. And it certainly doesn't have to be about perfection. (Even professionals have seam rippers!) I love sewing and taking my time to complete a garment I can be proud to wear. I don't mind doing french seams to hide raw edges since I don't own a serger. Or maybe I'm hand stitching a hem so it's invisible. To me those finishing touches are what make it my version of couture and I get to privately enjoy that. I've never been in a position to afford expensive tailored garments but I can make them myself and that brings me joy!
Recovering perfectionist here. Honestly allowing myself to make something that's only "good enough" made such a difference to me. I basically spent a year planning and sewing my wedding dress to make sure it was as perfect as it could be, and here's the kicker, even after all that time and mockups, the back still had a small section that gaped at the buttons/button loops a little bit showing the placket behind, but it didn't matter because it looked amazing and it didn't affect the overall look/was barely noticeable unless you were looking for flaws. So I do sort of find it reassuring that even if I spent a year on a project, it's still not going to be perfect, so give myself a break. Also RetroClaude's "Good, Better, Best" system really has been a lifesaver for everything not just craft stuff. I recently applied it to childcare options and feel a heck a lot better about the whole situation than I think I would have without it (because it looks like we're ending up with a "better" solution)
My pajama pants and shorts are my 'good enough' projects. Seriously, who cares if something is wonky? Oh, and I used them to teach myself French seams because I don't have a serger. Perfect? No. Better than fraying seam allowances? ABSOLUTELY!
I literally just started sewing after getting frustrated with my mental blocks keeping me from starting a hobby I was interested in. The biggest things that got me there was 1) using bedsheets (no cost, no fear of ‘waste’), 2) picking a practical simple first project (sewing machine cover), and 3) reframing the goal of the project from being the finished product to learning a few key skills (learning the sewing machine) with the PROMISE that I will go back and add NEW goals (getting used to the fitting process, sewing different kinds of seams, etc)…then 4) forcing myself to move onto something else once the product is *functionally* done
Yes, I love and totally agree with all your steps, and it's one of the reasons I advocate at least considering using thrifted fabrics and making mock-ups - I find that both really lower the barrier to entry for a lot of people. Also great point about moving on when the project is functionally done!
This is so me. If you don’t try, you can’t fail. The problem with that philosophy is that it makes it virtually impossible to accomplish anything. Hmmmm, much introspection and positive self-talk required. 😔 In other news… Corgi-content! Yay! 🥰
Loving this and Snappy Dragon’s discussion on this topic. You’ve both brought up the most important point: it’s not about the destination but about the journey. Yes, it’s wonderful to have new costumes and things made of natural fibers that fit, and it’s also wonderful to learn and grow as a fiber artist. As a person with ADHD, I’ve picked up and dropped more hobbies than there are videos for on YT, yet I find that sewing is one of the few hobbies that stays with me and sustains me. I feel antsy and out of sorts if I’m not creating or thinking about creating, or doing research on a new project. I frequently dream about sewing, and wake up in the middle of the night to scribble down my ideas. I let myself bounce from one project to another because I get easily distracted or frustrated, but I need to be working. It’s like the air I breathe. While that seems like utter chaos to some, it helps me to not become overwhelmed and walk away permanently. I’ll also start projects at the last possible moment because deadlines increase my focus.
My best tip for them negative thoughts start rushing in is to stop. Put your project away for a night or even a couple of days, let your emotions calm down. And then take it out again. Change what needed change and proceed. Last weekend I was sewing a dress that I wanted to throw in the bin at the end of the day. A couple of days break made me able to finish it today. I needed the seam ripper constantly and the inside is a hot mess, but it’s done and yes, I think I learned a thing or two. 😊 Thanks for the pep talk!
Taking breaks is definitely a technique I use ALL. THE. TIME. not even for perfectionism reasons, but just for all the reasons... if one has the ability/luxury to take a break on a project, it can be so refreshing and rewarding!
Honestly, one of the biggest "helpers" for my perfectionism has been my children. When I'm making stuff for them, I can see all the flaws - but all they see is, "OH COOL, look what momma made for me!" Seeing my projects through another perspective has helped a lot. And bonus, since I've been doing it more and practicing more, I'm getting better! I'm making different mistakes now!
I have OCD and ADHD, it does not make for a fun time when trying to make stuff to wear. So, in order to get from the start to the finish of the project in the same century I repeat this mantra: FUNCTION OVER FORM. And you can always 'edit' a garment later if you have a good seam allowance when your skills improve! That's the joy of making it yourself, you can allow the wiggle room!
I'm so pleased to hear that you've found a balance that seems to work for you, and that you do manage to finish your creations and have joy in the creative process. I'm sure it wasn't easy, but seriously, congrats!! FUNCTION OVER FORM!! 💪
One thing I’ve found to help me (I’ve been working more with crochet and knitting) is having 2-3 projects going at the same time to keep my interest. I’ve been working on a sweater on and off for months that I’m excited to wear and have for myself, but I’ve been challenging myself with a pair of socks and have an easy hat project on the side. I find that if I’m not in the mood for one, I probably will be for another and so the work continues until they are finished. Occasionally I press myself on a timeline for presents, but that is often stressful and leads to burnout for me
I hand sew, so if I make a BIG mistake, I end up shelving the project until I have the time, energy, and the peacefulness to work on it again. I have a coat that needs a bigger peplum. It is also patterned fabric, so everything has to match up. I have to rip out all the seams, cut a new peice of fabric and start over. It will be beautiful once I finish it, but I just don't have the patience right now. If I don't take my time, it will not come out, and I will not wear it. I did make some mistakes on my mock up, but I still really love it. Most people don't even see the mistakes.
Yup, I definitely have been known to take some time away from a project, because I agree that for me personally, I'd rather wait until I'm in the right headspace to do the task the way I'd envisioned it (i.e. match up patterns), because I know I'll enjoy it more that way! But I also don't struggle with ADHD or anything like that, so focusing is not a problem for me! And totally agreed that most people don't even see the mistakes!
this video hit more than i thought it would- ive found sewing so much more stressful than painting, or crocheting, or spinning yarn, and i realized that its because i expect my sewing to look perfect and i *dont* expect that of my other crafts. I have an in-progress kigurumi project thats been sitting in my 'to-do' pile for almost a year untouched, because im afraid of appliqueing fleece onto fleece and dont know how im going to do the button placket. ive been thinking and procrastinating on it for so long cause im worried that ill mess it up. i have so much extra fleece and thread that i really do need to just... *do* it. better to try it and f*ck it up then never do it at all. thank you for the quality advice, shannon!
You're very welcome, and thank you for your input! I have a few videos that involve plackets, in case you need inspiration, but otherwise, if you have a lot of extra fleece, maybe you can mock up a separate placket, just to test it out, see if that helps you get over that hurdle in the project?! Best of luck!
I heard from my grandfather for my whole childhood that I will never be good enough. While every other person in my family told me he was wrong it stuck with me, and now, after 3.5 years of therapy I'm trying to learn to think that I am good enough (and I'm 28). One thing that my therapist said to me, that I think could help everyone is that we have to make mistakes, because how would we know that something doesn't work for us? It still scares me to cut fabric, but I love handsewing, I'm learning to sew on machine (with a lot of frustration, because my brain tells me that I should know how to do it) and I know that if I don't cut fabric I won't have anything to sew.
It was visible mending that helped me get over perfectionism in sewing enough to start actually, y'know, sewing things. Alterations and repairs in general I have found incredibly freeing: if something ALREADY isn't being used because of (holes, wear, fit, etc), then nothing I can do to it will make it WORSE, right?? And the repair can actually add beauty, AND the handmade look of the repair just adds to it even more. (I accidentally cut into the leg of a pair of pants I was mending and OH WOW was it the worst feeling in the world -- but they already weren't wearable, so, okay, it gave me a chance to figure out how to fix a pinking cut and turn it into something decorative. It made the project take a lot longer, but it actually ended up BETTER, and you almost can't tell. Unless you turn them inside out.) I just finished altering a dress my MIL made for herself and repurposed it into a skirt for my firstborn teenager, and whoo boy is it imperfect -- the panels I was inserting for the extra waist width weren't long enough, the rolled hem where I cut off the bodice was a nightmare and I didn't have time to hand stitch it -- BUT, he loves it, and now gets to wear something his grandparent and his parent had a hand in making. And yeah, it has me itching to go make a new skirt next, because, as mending taught me, a skirt that exists and is wearable is better than fabric sitting in a drawer and isn't wearable, and that's good enough.
I love the examples out there of historical garments with mismatched plaids, unfinished seams, and other things that modern sewists are horrified by. One of my mottos is " just because they had to do it doesn't mean that they were good at it." Also piecing is period.
There are some knitted items that are MUSEUM pieces that have the cables visibly crossing the wrong way! Alice Starmore's _Aran Knitting_ features one as an example of the beauty and craftsmanship of Aran knitting - the fact that one cable crosses the wrong way makes it just that much more special.
This is an important subject that is often not spoken about. Thank you for this post and your thoughts on the subject. I use to sew when I was younger. I even sewed my wedding dress and hat. I'm very proud of it. Thirtyish years have passed since I went on this endeavor. No physical or digital evidence of my creation. The dopamine rush I got when I finished it was overwhelming. Yet that didn't compare to the rush when the wedding guests found out I made it.. Combining 2 dress patterns, adding my own uniqueness; teal bodice lace and matching color lace highlighting the low "V" back. In spite of the bad marriage, divorced for 10 years :) the memory of the dress still puts a smile on my face. I'm proudly in the clan of neurodivergent. Perfectionism has always been with me. I don't remember when it wasn't there. The degree in which it hinders me has changed in the last 2 years. My personal growth has given me the comfort level of picking where I want perfection and where ït's good enough." I don't remember where I read this quote "without change we wouldn't have butterflies." I have WIPs of different crafts. Crocheting is my main focus. The hyper-focus we neurodiverents go through gives us the dopamine rush we crave. Then the crash. Many times before a project is done. Go to another project. Being able to have a quick project will get me back on track. If it doesn't it's ok. I've learned that by being so focused on perfection the reason for doing the project is forgotten. The joy of creating is gone. It's ok to step away. Life is too short.
"without change, we wouldn't have butterflies" ...what a lovely expression, thank you! And thank you for sharing your perspectives. I'm glad you've found a way to work with/around your perfectionism, and that you haven't let it get completely in the way of your crafting!
This is why I love flexible sew alongs, it lets us share in the process with less time or skill level pressure. I think extrapolating the idea of 10 seamstresses tackling the same dress would be amazing for one of your projects actually. I experience this a lot more in baking but it is more visible in sewing. Your description of rushing through for the reward really points me toward that type of creative expression rather than my usual getting bogged down in prep so I rarely start. I definitely need external catalysts for creation, just need to incorporate them into what I make. Great video! It’s going into my ‘rewatch when I am mired in the creative doldrums’ playlist.
(Weighing in as a dually-neurodivergent - autism and ADHD) I've been sewing since before I started kindergarten, over 20 years 🤯 both of my grandmothers sewed - one did more quilts and one did garments. I started sewing as my full time job a few years ago, though not clothing, but I do have a... massive... stockpile of unstarted or unfinished garments for myself, and thrifted items to upcycle or repair. Since I use my sewing room for work, I can't often spend even a few days in a row on a project because I need the table and machine space. Then switching the needle and thread out in my industrial machine or dragging out a different one, remembering to wash the fabric, hoping I have enough, worrying if theres something better I could use the fabric for, or even just picking which project to work on next! I've tried a project journal which helps, especially if I want to recreate it later, I can remember adjustments and such that I made. Also starting small - if I have time to work on projects, I'll pull out a smaller mending task like a button replacement or ripped pocket. That gives me just enough dopamine to want to work on the next thing 😅
Thank you for being so clear that you expect commenters to be encouraging and not tear each other down. It’s astonishing how much weight a negative comment can have and how long that effect can last, and it’s equally astonishing how much joy and ease a positive comment can bring.
So true, Shannon. I told my art students that this is where they are now. Stop criticizing your work. It makes it look handmade and not machine made. That’s good Doing is better than not doing.
One of the best things for me for letting go of perfectionism is my sewing was to move from quilts to clothing. That perfect 1/4-inch seam always eluded me (I didn't know about seam guides either, y'all), so I ended up with blocks that weren't the right size and therefore didn't line up or seams that sprung open because I'd skirted the edge far too closely--and often those occurred in the same piece. It was maddening and I didn't enjoy it. Then I started making clothes, and the simple fact of a 5/8-inch or half-inch seam allowance was so incredibly freeing! And if you were off just a teensy bit, it really didn't affect the garment noticeably, most of the time! What a revelation.
I like the phrase "keep a beginner mind". It brings into the frame that you cannot learn what you already know, so you should be seeking out those things that you don't know. And expect that those things will bring mistakes. All beginners make mistakes as they learn. And, since there is always more you learn, everyone is a beginner. Beginners have minds that are wide open to soak up all of the knowledge available. When you start to think you know everything about a subject, you prevent yourself from learning those things you do not know, because you don't recognize that there is more to learn. When you assume (regardless of experience level) that everything and everyone around you has something you can learn from, you suddenly become more able to recognize gaps in your knowledge. Then the second thing is that you should be seeking at least 20% mistakes. If 80% of your garment goes off without a hitch, you are refining your technique 80% of the time. The 20% of mistakes? That is new knowledge you are acquiring. If you don't have those mistakes, are you acquiring knowledge? The key is to seek the mistakes, rather than to avoid them. They are signs that you are growing. Mistakes are good things.
This was amazing discussion, thank you! I took Home Ec. I picked up some sewing from my mom, but following a pattern was rarely possible for me. I gave up until I was married and starting doing some very hackish sewing for adjusting halloween costumes, and eventually starting making them myself. No pattern, just me, the fabric, and my old nemesis sewing machine. Were they great? No. But did I wear them? You bet. And it was fun. Once I had kids, I did more - daughter wanted to be Fluttershy? Lets go sew! Son wanted dragon gloves? Bring it. Again, they were not great or right, but they worked, and they were worn. Kinda like baking. Most of the time people eat all the mistakes. I still sew sometimes - hemming something, repairing things. I still have my reversible satin hooded "cape" that worked for both Little Red Riding Hood and Dracula from 20 years ago. Its a mess, the seams are crooked, the red side doesnt match the black side, and there is something super funky about the neckline, but while I am wearing it (or one of my kids, or even my friends) No one cares! They are tickled to have access to a cool garment that I made. For me thats the best part, and I try not to pressure myself for my mistakes.
You're welcome, thank you for watching! Love your fun approach to sewing, and I'm sure you've made so many good memories for your children in the process!
Watching historical costume unboxing videos was what helped me! If that couture coat from 1915 can still have a pin left in the seam allowance and be thought of as a fantastic piece, then my lines can be a bit wonky. I like to imagine Abby Cox reviewing it and enthusing over how janky it looks.
1. One way I combat my own perfectionism is to ask myself "what does *good enough* look like?" For example, if I'm making a button front skirt, how close to perfect do the button overlaps need to be at the hem, where nobody will take a good look at them? They don't need to be spot on ... for me, 1/8 inch is good enough. 2. I used to do a lot of knitting, at an advanced level, including pattern design and teaching. I was knitting in public once, and a woman I never met said to me "you're knitting wrong." If I was less experienced, she would have felled me ... I was too polite to say: I knit the way my Hungarian grandmother did, and how she taught my mom, who taught me. My grandmother ran a yarn store for years, my mom translated patterns into English ... there are many, many ways to knit, as long as you get the results you want, it's never wrong. You are scolding me because I hold the yarn in my left hand, not my right - there are women in Greece, far faster knitters than you, who loop it behind their necks. I could have cut her down, yes ... but I'm too nice. 3. More wisdom I learned from knitting. There are two types of work, product oriented and process. Product is when you are focused on the end result, the item you will have when the work is complete. Process is the work you do because you enjoy the work itself, the end result matters much less. This is true in sewing too. I might use scrap fabric to make a mockup to test out a new technique, or figure out a new bust alteration - that's process. Meanwhile, I made a full set of waffle weave towels, 2 throw pillows, and a simple shirt dress - all products. Limiting your perfectionism to process things will help.
omg, I love your anecdote (and you're a much nicer person than me, I would have been SO tempted to cut her down too). It sounds like you have a couple very lovely approaches to your perfectionism, and I'm so glad you don't let it stop you from making lovely creations!!
I am not a perfectionist. I think. I AM an anxious mess with bouts of depression. I watch some sewing youtubers for their knowledge and skill, they teach as they sew. Even if I cant get out of bed i always learn something. I watch other sewing youtubers for their beautiful, aesthetic shots, complicated dream projects and calm voices. They are calming and soothing in a very crazy world. And another catagory of youtubers help me figure out this tricky step in my instructions. But the ones I watch when I need to be reminded I am allowed sew? Rachel Maksey and Micarah Tewers top that list. Their chaos is just how I feel in my sewing. I measure seam allowences by my thumbs instead of barbie skateboards, and I iron only after dark. They are not the best sewists but they sure make me feel like I can do it too. A great reminder that I can make a wearable garment and be proud of it, even if it isnt hand sewn or if every seam allowance isnt exactly .5 in or 1 cm, or my hem isnt invisible. No one is looking that close at my hems!
I feel called out on this lol. I literally have a box of vintage estate sale fabric that I am afraid to touch because I'm afraid of wasting or ruining it. I realized that what I consider to be a glaring obvious fault most people don't even notice.
lol I just responded to someone else's comment with this, so I'll paraphrase: one of the reasons I advocate making mock-ups (especially from thrifted fabrics) is exactly to combat this feeling. Because it's a logical feeling and fear, and I find that doing a mock-up can really help eliminate some of that paralysis!! BEST of luck with you lovely fabrics!
I have the same issue! Granny gave me a lot of fabric, some even from 50s and I'm terrified to cut into it, because if I mess up, there is not even cm more to be found. But also she gave it to me because she wants me to use it up. Last month she found really nice boucle from 80s and she told me 'Here you have fabric for a skirt, I want to see it this autumn' and now I have no other choice 😂 And the longer I'm thinking about it, I realise that if I make something timeless, like simple blouses, gathered, circle or pencil skirts, then someone could wear them when they won't fit me anymore (I did the same thing with my mum's and granny's stuff when I was teenager).
I taught middle school girls' sewing, displaying finished projects in the hallway. One kitchen apron project was titled "The Creative Fix," as each student made unique errors and unique creative corrections. 😊
As a professional alterations tailoress, I know that my skills on a sewing machine were honed by shortening trousers 5 days a week for a couple of years. Yes I did other jobs as well in that time, but the repetitive nature of the work is what has given me my current skills and confidence in my sewing abilities, so that I can tackle most anything that can be sewn. My most useful tool? A seam ripper, and not just for ripping seams. When working alongside another machinist, if we are both doing the same job, I don’t compare my speed/finish to theirs, I compare it to how well I did the last box of work to the one before it. Being a professional does not mean that we don’t make mistakes - we do and sometimes in new and exciting ways, but sometimes in silly simple ways, what we do have are the skills to quickly rectify the mistakes so that they are not apparent. Older tailors will say that you need to sew at least 1000 buttonholes to get good at them. If you make things, the only way to get better is practice, practice, practice.
Perfection and failure, will for me, always go hand in hand. I make the most of my clothes (sew and knitting), and have done for years, and I still learn new things from the mistakes I make. If you don’t learn from your mistakes, why even sew, or whatever you do? No one, will ever be to old, to learn something new❤️ Thank you for sharing
"Nothing we see or hear is perfect. But right there in the imperfection is perfect reality." (Shunryu Suzuki, 1904-1971) I found this quote be researching intentional imperfections. Sometimes I think about it to remind myself that no matter how hard I try I won't achieve perfection so I try to find a balance between wearable and nearly perfect
As someone who's currently taking college courses, institutional knowledge when it comes to the fast fashion industry sadly is a must, to understand how the original pattern drafter and cutter intend on the garment being assembled, as it's made in a way to not only be the fastest method possible, but also within the specifics of the pattern itself, which is where you could go into what constitutes as a "mistake" with fast fashion and ultra fast fashion shops (giving a side eye at Shien and Temu), and workers getting docked pay for said mistakes, regardless of how minor they are. For home sewists, ignore those inner demons, and ignore fast fashion standards (cause they are quite hard to attain) and listen to Shannon, when sometimes good enough, is good enough. You can have beautiful garments, bags, or accessories, without your seams having to be 110% perfect
For many years, I mostly sewed crafts, home dec & Halloween costumes that only needed to be worn for a few hours. There was no CZcams university back then and I just couldn’t figure out fitting from a book. I grew up wearing home sewn clothes. They were miserably uncomfortable due to trying to save fabric and ignoring the grain. They also unraveled in the wash as the only seam finish used was pinking shears and that just wasn’t enough. I’ve learned so much since 😆.
I do consider myself a perfectionist, but only when it comes to my own endeavors. And even then, I know perfect doesn't actually exist. I use it to drive me to do my best and keep learning rather than to beat myself up with not achieving perfect. I hold no one but myself to my standards. Historically adequate is my mantra on anything that might be done with a historical inspo or bent, we can hypothesize all we like about how things were done 'back then' but we weren't there. We can't know for sure how accurate something was, so unless you're being judged (like, in a contest or something like that) for how close you got, who cares how you got there? So many people are just way to hung up on how other people do things. Stay in your lane and lift others up by admiring how hard they worked on that item and how well they did with it. Don't nitpick someone else's work unless they ask you to. (I do ask for it sometimes because I want to get better at the thing and I have friends that are more experienced in sewing than me.) Remember what we all learned as little kids, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".
I enjoy sewing clothes that look 'professional', and I am happy to take longer to get there. I probably make 3-4 items a year. What I struggle with the most is youtube giving the impression everyone sews a garment a month or more. So I constantly remind myself it's fine to sew slow, and to not chase the new shiny. It has also really helped digging down into what clothes I actually like on me, and not just what looks cool in general.
Omg, I just made another rambling content somewhere else in these comments about how CZcams and the "social media/content creation machine" in general encourage us as creators to keep making newer things; we never really make the same pattern multiple times for fear of the algorithm or loosing viewer's interest, and I think the same goes for just the quantity of things one makes. Unless you've got a REALLY big following, or an incredibly great/specific personality, it can be hard to be a sewing channel that also does talking head videos (for example: this video has bombed compared to my usual ones), so you feel pressured to sew as much as possible... fortunately I just like sewing, and I also sell a lot of my creations afterwards on KoFi, but yea, it's like... way more sewing than I was doing before having a channel. But I'm glad that you have done that introspection to know that you're happier with the slower sewing, the 3-4 garments a year, and that it's helped you to find your true style.
@@ShannonMakes Yes, I feel like sewing for entertainment (and education) should be it's own separate category. Personally I find it interesting and useful when people show how they've sewn and adapted a pattern in multiple ways over time - but you tend to see that more in instagram posts.
Well for me it is, that I finish a Project and than only see all the flaws and don’t enjoy it enough. I always want to redo or work on it again. But I am at the same time frozen in beeing unhappy with my mistakes :/ at least it only happens with garments. Other sewing Projects are always rewarding. thanks for your pep talk ❤❤❤
For a long time I stopped sewing because of one nasty remark made many years ago, when I started watching CZcams when it started all those years ago and it started to get popular with experts and beginners alike that the one thing I noticed they were sewing and filming to encourage so many back to the art of sewing. Abby Cox showed so many vintage outfits and showed the whopping sloppy work compared to todays standard but the outfit looked great on the outside. I now sew just for me and my enjoyment, I love watching CZcamsrs because so many are like you, who say go with the flow, mistakes and all. I have a machine where I do not need the foot peddle, something my husband and Mom found for me because of my mobility issues, I have learned to sew at a slower speed and found it enjoyable speed to work at. At the moment I’m making project bags as I noticed my shopping bags are vanishing 😹😹😹because of this I’m getting my shopping bags back for shopping but I’m getting the kind of project bags needed for my many hobbies and this will make grabbing a hobby for the day a lot simpler😹😹😹plus I noticed my shopping bags are turning into blue or green powder so I’m making new outer bangs for them as they are the cheap freezer bags with zips on them and only need new outer bag and handles. This is also a great stash/scrap buster as well. I lover it when so many of my fav CZcamsrs sit down and remind us that they to do make mistakes, but due to the art of editing, not all if it makes the cut but ends up on the cutting floor. There are so many out there that only show the perfect way to the perfect finished article that you wonder how long it really took them to make in reality. As you have said so many times and I love it, “you do you and I will do me” everyone one have their own style in some cases it takes newbies a long time to find their style because they get caught up in the “perfectionist trap” as my teacher once told me at collage. My Mom taught me to knit and sew, but we both decided to go to collage and do fashion and pattern drafting together for a number of years. The teacher found in fascinating watching us both doing the same thing but totally different at the same time, even though my Mom taught me to sew I did not sew or knit like Mom at all.
I'm binge-watching my favourite YT folks to catch up, but I just had to leave a comment on this one. Firstly, thank you so much for acknowledging that neuro-spicy brains may well have different triggers for anxiety and perfectionism and that we may also need different solutions. It was literally the first thing I thought of when I started watching, and I was so happy to see you mention it 💜 The second thing that sprang to mind was a video by German maker Laura Kampf (I'll link in the following comment in case YT eats it). It's from last February, in response to an endless stream of problems and failures with a tiny house build. It's called Dealing With Failure (Making and Problems), and she talks about how failures and solutions are an integral part of the making process - you can't have one without the other. I think you'll enjoy it 👍
I love Laura, I've watched her channel for years and years!! She's such a fun maker, and very much in the same make-do and reuse ethos as I... would love to meet her one day!
I was diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year, and here's what I've discovered since re-sorting my brain: Work on what you want to work on. Every time I try to work on something else that I'm not actually interested in but want to do something different to improve my skills - that just doesn't happen and I get frustrated and end up with something I don't like. Maybe I can try to work around that next year, but not this year. If I want to teach myself something new, it will HAVE to be part of a project I want to do already. Second: It's SUPER EASY to underestimate your current skill level. Like, tremendously. Don't sell yourself short. I have to remind myself of how far I've come over 20+ years of mostly part-time, 'for fun' sewing. I'm making things now that I absolutely could not have made back then - either because of resource availability, time, or my skill set (or all three). I have to tell myself that what I know now really has been a ton of hard work and learning over time. I have some friends that sew, but I also have a ton who wouldn't know where to even start. People who see my simple day-wear dress are as awed by my ability to sew as the ones who have seen my more elaborate, actual costumes. Sometimes someone will ask me for fabric advice and it's just something I know now and I need to stop blowing off my own abilities and institutional knowledge. It's still a valuable skill, and I have to remind myself that it is a real skill and not 'just a hobby'.
Love this!! ❤️❤️❤️ So, here’s what happened while I listened to this video. I FINALLY sewed a button on my husband’s shorts! I’m a quilter!!! But I also removed the binding from a quilt I made recently because I did an absolutely terrible job of putting it on, which was awful because I love the binding process, but this was black on black and I did a terrible job and didn’t even want to take it off! But I did! And now I can try again. And while I was doing that and listening to you, I realized the reason I have not finished painting my house is that I know it won’t be perfect! But I’m going to go back out there and simply give it my best. Thank you for another great video. ❤️💕❤️
I recently made a couple of split side adjustable skirts for myself and my sister and was anxious about what my sister and my mum would think. Mum has been sewing most of her life and is very precise. I have not sewn for the last decade or so and was using an old singer hand crank machine like your thumbnail. My negative expectations of their responses was not realised. Mum thought it was great that I could make something so well based on watching a youtube video and doing some maths, and my sister commented that she could not sew straight with both hands guiding the fabric. The people I work with were just amazed that I actually made clothing that could be worn! I need to remind myself that it is the pressure I put on myself that does the most harm, and fuels the negative voices in my head. I like to think I am perfect, but have to accept that I am not. Skirts need some additional work, but look good enough for now, and that is enough until I have time and mental energy to fix them. Appreciate your perspective, and you sharing it in such a caring and sensitive manner.
I have been struggling with this for several years now. I am in a place in my life where I want to make clothes for my grandchildren and sometimes others. At this point, I want them to be perfect because I believe that the clothes will outlast me. My level of perfection comes from what people will say in the future. Will they look at something I’ve made as juvenile or less than professional? Will other members of the extended family, take apart my project as a way of denigrating me? This has made it impossible for me to create anything. And I have missed so many opportunities. Yet, the grandchildren continue to get bigger and grow. When my children were little, I made tons of things for them. Because sewing was a way of providing clothes for my children, and I knew no one would ever look closely at the sewing. Wow. I have never said that out loud! Where do I send my fee for one hour’s worth of counseling? 😂 Thank you for this video.
If my niece's kids see the insides of some of the dresses I've made her, they'd roll over laughing. That said, she loves them, she's feels good in them, and I doubt they'll survive past her little sister. In the meantime, I'm learning and she feels loved. Nobody else has the skills/ time/ inclination to make her dresses, so they know better than to comment on a few loose threads and a wonky zipper.
@@MWPNW thank you so much. You are very kind. I agree, no one else has made anything that even comes close to a handmade dress or romper! They shouldn’t say anything. I seem to have lost my piss and vinegar!
LOL, just reading your comment now, and it sounds like it's a good thing this video found you... I hope it can give you that little burst of motivation or sew-jo to get back into the sewing a little bit, and try to move past the fear of judgement... remember that if anybody negatively comments on your work 1.) they are often within range of a swift kick to the shins, and 2.) you can tell them they're always welcome to make their own [insert-garment-of-judgement-here] and to make it better if that's what they desire. I guarantee you, they never will, and that usually shuts them up.
Thank you. What you said in this video made sense and resonated with me. I don't feel like I'm trying to be "Perfect" with my sewing. I really love to sew and can get so hyperfocused on getting a project done that I lose track of time. It's just that an interruption, like my partner wanting to know what I'd like for dinner, can throw me off and I'll lose interest. In fact, I only just got to watch this video because I've been procrastinating doing anything. I sew, I make beaded jewelry, and I attempt to make videos. I say "attempt" because the last video I released on my channel was about 9 months ago. Last year I was finally diagnosed with ADHD. I'm 69 and it explained a lot of things in my life. Recently I've been working on a pair of 18the century stays. I was almost finished with them. But then Imposter Syndrome took over and now it's laying on my sewing table waiting for me to finish it so I can start the Angelica gown (from Scroop Patterns & Virgil's Fine Goods) I kind of need the stays in order to wera the gown. So, instead of finishing them, I decided to go through and catalogue all my beads. The bead company I get my supplies from has a bead box subscription they send out every month. In the boxes are 3 kits complete with patterns, beads, and beading supplies. I've subscribed to this for 4 years and I'm starting (starting?!?) to think I have too many. Four years of boxes means a crapload of beads. My work table is covered with bead boxes full of beads. And my sewing table is not much better. I want to do all the things, but then something suffers and WIP projects become UFOs. A dress I made 6 years ago is just waiting for hem. I've haven't finished it because It also needs to be taken in because I lost some weight. My niece, who also sews, helped me figure out now much to take it in, but then some of the pins came out and she moved out of state, so it just hangs in my closet. I need to get my stays finished. But I will take care of them tomorrow because it's 2:30 in the morning and I need to get some sleep.
Ooof, the ever-growing UFO pile. I am absolutely positive that you're not alone in this one, if that's any comfort. Although I admit, that sounds like a lot of beads, but ya know what... that also sounds like so many pretty little glass baubles to look at and display and play with. I hope you reach harmony with what to do with them! And also with your stays!
I say Practice makes Practiced. That means maybe things get a little 'better; or maybe it means they get easier or faster. Maybe it means you find a lightbulb moment of understanding on something that had eluded you... you may not yet have mastered it, but that understanding makes a great step.
For me, it is color and fit. I want my best colors and an easily coordinated wardrobe. I am not close to standard shape and always had to shape off the rack clothes. Add in a commitment to using natural fabrics so I can eventually compost them. Institutional malice is serious! I find it in my home repairs too! I learned sewing from my mom before grade school. Then work children husband and sewing set aside for 30 years. I am relearning. Most of my slowness has to do with thrifting instead of new. Matching patterns to existing fabric.
Somewhere along the line I came across the concept "It's not a mistake! It's an opportunity for embellishment!". WHAT A GAME CHANGER. Those knee pants that are too tight in the legs and 4 inches too short at the waistline? Some contrasting fabric strips plus piping down the side of each leg and one added waist yoke later, I had a far superior looking pair of knee pants than I had originally planned. Sleeves too short? Fancy trim or lace insertions added! Body too tight? more contrasting fabric and piping! The possibilities are endless and made sewing much less fraught for me. The other game changer is the concept PIECING IS OKAY. You only * think * you don't have enough for that train. Piece enough scraps together at the bottom and suddenly you do! And I'm more concerned about somebody stepping on that train that looking at how many seams it has. 😁
Love this, and also, I feel like you'll jive with with Kristine Vike's content, she does lots of creative patching (maybe a bit more on IG than on YT, but still, lots of fun content there you might enjoy)!
I don't know how I came across your channel but I find it fascinating just listening to you. I have to admit, I have zero interest in historical clothing. I'm a self taught scrap quilter, and perfectionism is NOT my way of doing things. I LOVED the videos on your scavenging for recycling, and redoing your sewing room & greenhouse. I also love the bits about your circus performing. All that having been said, I'll probably repeatedly watch your videos that I AM interested in cause I LOVE listening to you.
Reframing works very well for my neuroatypical self. My personal sewing 'frames' is "Good enough for it's purpose" and "Everything has some use". I was sewing a long blouse that I was having doubts about the fitting on, and decided that if I did not like it as a blouse when it was finished I would simply use it as pretty wintertime pyjamas. Motivation enough to continue, and now I have a 'good enough' blouse. But reframing takes practice to learn if you are not used to it, and many of us perfectionists tend to be new to the idea. Beating perfectionism in sewing turns into learning a new skill; and thus again being stalled by perfectionism 🤡🧠For my past self and other people like me, searching out very specific have you tried 'xyz' for specific problems will probably work best here and now. Long term solution for that level of perfectionism; learning reframing. Outside help, aka therapy, helps. Easy concept, fairly hard to actually start doing.
I want my garments to be wearable, I want them to hold up for a few years, and I want them to look comparable to off-the-rack. (That is, my garment will be unique, but I don't want it to look sloppy.) After that, I remind myself, "nobody can see that from the back of a galloping horse!" Another phrase I've heard is, "...from a *polite* distance." Remember that nobody else will be looking at it as closely as you are when you're working on it. Step away for a few minutes, then try looking at the garment from across the room, or from a few feet away. Many mistakes will not stand out when you're wearing the garment or using the item.
"from a *polite* distance* is such a good expression. And if they don't respect that distance, and get close enough to point out any flaws.... well, you know what that means? They're well within reach of my boot up their derriere. I do love the idea of distance, whether it's literal or a bit more metaphorical in the sense of taking a break and coming back to it later in a few hours/days/weeks!
I’ve been sewing for fifty years now. I still make mistakes and have to seam rip or even have to find more fabric and start over. It’s okay. I only need to please myself.
As a neurospicy person who is a therapist irl and a hobby sewist (who has difficulty starting and finishing projects due to a brain that defaults to perfectionism) I greatly appreciate this discussion!! I think the best thing I ever learned was 50% or even 10% is better than 0
I think i have the perfectionist monster somewhat on lock down. I applaud you tubers that put their creative journeys out into the world. Can't be easy to be judged by people with varying degrees of grace. I suspect that pressure leads to a few dead channels. Thanks for kicking off this discussion!
Thank you 🫶 And you are correct, I know quite a few people who have stopped uploading completely, stopped posting altogether, and in some cases even stopped sewing because of the nastiness they experienced online. I find it doesn't bother me personally because I look at it as a reflection on the person leaving the comment far more than on my actual work, but that still doesn't make a nasty comment OK or fun to read.
This is such an excellent topic ❤ I have been battling perfectionism in my every day life for the past decade but never thought about how it applies to new hobbies. I've been sewing since I was a child, so perfectionism rarely keeps me from projects, but I've wanted to garden for so long and have been so afraid of all my plants dying that I've only made small attempts. I had this mindset of "I either have a green thumb and everything will grow perfectly or I have a brown thumb and will never have the garden of my dreams" and a friend who is a terrific gardener has been encouraging me to just go for it and learn from my mistakes. Why is it so hard, even when we've been practicing overcoming perfectionism for so long, to get past this all or nothing mindset???
This is a really great message for me to hear today. I bought some beautiful silk 2 years ago from C&M textiles Anniversary sale. Even their sale prices on silk is expensive. I’ve been paralyzed by the fear that I will wreck it and the silk will be too slippery and the stitches will slip and on and on. But what good is all that beautiful silk for if I’m not wearing it. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Thank you for this! So many great points!
I appreciate you taking the time to say this. You could have very easily felt it wasn't your problem and kept doing your thing, so this says a lot about who you are. This has been a struggle in all areas of my life for at least 3/4 of my life. lol
I laughed out loud at “the ultimate straight jacket”. I have very strong *opinions* on public education and college, but I won’t rant here. It is long and involved and needs more than a single cup of tea. “Recovering Perfectionist” I’m 100% going to use this from now on. Also didn’t realize what a perfectionist I was until you started your list 😅. My current dilemma with time (and the inevitably of never having enough) means I’ve decided to limit my hobbies until I get through my certification. As much as I’d love to be working on all the things, the reality is I don’t have the spoons to juggle work, class, and the prep for 3 (maybe 4, hopefully not) weddings…even if I feel guilty my work table has turned into a catch all. Thank you for sharing ❤
ahh yes, the struggle of the growing list of projects to work on versus the actual time we have to work on them in. Better to put your energy where it's needed now - your certification - because those projects will still be there once you've finished with it!
Really love all you had to say here. As a costumer for amateur theatre, perfectionism gets broken out of you pretty fast, but I find I am constantly having to work against the perfectionism assumed by others. You are expected to be a 'perfectionist' because you make pretty things, and that is a not healthy. I am totally going to use your alternate term of 'excellence not perfection' for future conversations, because that is totally what I aim for!
I started sewing again in 2020 and to build on my forgotten knowledge and improve my confidence I used a lot of old sheets and fabric I had lying around. I made things that didn't fit that well and/or were in a fabric that wasn't really appropriate but I learned things from my mistakes, including how to just let go on things that I didn't know how to fix yet, and then started buying cheap fabric online as I wasn't ready to splash out and couldn't go to any irl shops to feel things out. I'm still working through that stash and still unsure on the best fabrics to get for specific projects but I've gotten a lot better at putting aside the things I'm completely stuck on (bodice block and sleeves are in the cursed pile) and trying something else, maybe something easier. I second the recommendation for Retro Claude's channel, and on the institutional/educational side of things I think that people like Abby and Nicole use their extensive knowledge to share rather than to gatekeep and then you get those who sew in chaos to balance the scales on how to enjoy the process (Rachel Maksy is queen). Another favourite is Mariah Pattie for her methodical approach to trial and error, and like this channel, really great editing. But in the end we all just have to find what works for us right?
A very good talk and a helpful reminder to a woman who has sewn 100s of things for others and is now learning to sew for herself. Now I'm ready to cutout that plaid jacket.
Neurodivergent prefefctionist in recovery here. I found that brainstorming aloud to a relative or a friend (or even just my stuffed animals really) when I am stuck on a project really helps me reframe the issue and gives me just the right amount of extenral vaidation I need to start working on the project again. I am not one to try things out of my comfort zone easily and I will stick to the method I know for everything, just dapting the garment. I really helps me to keep my confidence in myself and not get utterly stuck in fear of failure at *sewing hooks and eyes on the placket* (I used buttons and it works all the same). I am also working on my irrational fear of cutting fabric by making mockups out of moth-eaten bedsheets and it did help a lot. I am still scared to cut into the nice fabric but much more confident the result will actually fit me.and finally, the good, better best system wroks very well for me. I set my minimum expectations of finishing the garment and then I have a plan of what improvements I can make in the future, esecially after wearing it a few times. Maybe It will take me two years to properly finish a simple skirt, but I will be able to wear it in the meantime. All of this doesn't mean I dont' get stuck tough, and I still haven't started on a project I dream of, but for these instances I have smaller, easier projects in my comfort zone to work on so i keep sewing despite my prefectionism. And these allow me to take breaks when I get overwhelmed by the Big Project and I can find pleasure in sewing again.
Very fun technique (especially the stuffed animals). And honestly, adapting the same pattern over and over is something I'm very passionate about --even though the CZcams/social media content machine kinda discourage it-- and that I am working on a video about, because it can be great for so many reasons, allowing ppl to stay in their comfort zone for 95% of the project, and just make small alterations to the pattern for the other 5% (or 10% or whatever, depending on how adventurous you're feeling). So I really think that your technique is fantastic!
@@ShannonMakesI am seeing your answer months later (thanks youtube notifications) and I'm proud to report I am doing good progress in my prefectionism issues. Now my sewing motto are "good enough" and "as long as it's on the inside"
yea, YT notifications are notoriously hit-or-miss... but I'm thrilled to hear you're making progress and you've developed some good mottos to help guide/rein in those perfectionist tendancies!!
I was distractedly trying to sew a cuff in a coat that was confounding me, even tho I had already done one correctly. I simply could not visualize how it was supposed to come together, I sewed in wrong twice and decided to walk away. It made a huge difference and I finally got it. I watched snappy dragons video and it struck me that if they had sergers in 1890 they would have used them. The didn’t generally eschew time saving tech.
This arrived just in time to remind me that I actually used to do this for FUN! It's supposed to be fun for me! Why did I ruin it by setting impossible goals for myself that no one is even going to measure?? 😂 Back to having FUN!
When I was younger I was always disappointed in myself if I wasn't good at something right away. I wasn't competitive against other people, but I always struggled against myself. I don't know how it works for other people but I had to experience a lot of "failure" to learn to anticipate and accept it as a natural part of skill development. And while skills take practice to develop, it's a never ending staircase where each step has value. Also, info gathering is a huge part of my ADHD brain process so I watch a ridiculous number of sewists on CZcams. That's taught me that there isn't just one correct way to sew, you have to discover a process that works for you.
Thank you so much for that video. I usually watch videos on sewing projects for inspiration and getting to know new techniques or tools. If I think some idea fits my style of sewing, I'll try it, if it works for me, I'll keep it. I've been sewing since, um, forever? (But with long periods where I didn't sew anything because of other priorities.) At first simple clothes for dolls by hand with my neighbor, who was like an aunt for me, later on I asked her to show me how to use a machine. After that, I inspected how my clothes were sewn and used that as inspiration, read some sewing magazines, but only used a real pattern once for a bodice with princess seams. (And I used patterns for the kites I've build, as these need to be as accurate as possible.) For all other "patterns" I maybe sketched them on paper, but then drawed them directly onto the fabric. Mock-ups? Never did one. (But I plan to do one for a tight fitting bodice, for which I want to draw the pattern myself, the available ones are not what I want.) And yet, almost every time I wore some self made garment, I only got compliments. Nobody notices the "happy little accidents". But please do not look on the inside. And sometimes, when I make historical clothing, I do not care that much about perfect accuracy, I hate sewing by hand, so I use my machine, I need pockets, so the medieval tunic gets huge pockets. I'm not making these clothes for display or education, but for myself and for fun. Which reminds me to stop watching videos and start with my next project...
This is good. I was cutting some fabric for a house dress, and for some reason I decided my gathered skirt should be a 1/2 circle skirt. I'm not small so a 1/2 circle skirt takes up a lot if fabric. I cut out half and then immediately realized, I made a mistake.😂😂 I panicked for like ten minutes, then I stitched the fabric back together. Cut it how I was supposed, and decided this was gonna be a dress for the garden. That dress looks awful, but I'm not wasting the fabric. It's far from perfect, but I feel like I'm going to get tons of use out of it, because it so wrecked. That's kind of the point, though because it was a house dress and the only one's to see it are my neighbors, and the cats. I think if I wanted to strive for making a perfect dress every single time, I would have scrapped the dress.
I think you touched on a SUPER interesting point, and something I've thought about a lot, about how the projects that we put less emphasis or importance on (or the ones with cheaper/"ugly" fabric, or the ones we mess up on) are often the ones that we get the most wear out of because we're not scared to wear them! Who cares if they get a little mussed up when we wear them, whereas the things we spend so much time on, or use the "good" fabric for, can often sit neglected in our wardrobe because we're almost scared to wear them... thank you for reminding me of that!!
I’m Danish (and autistic) and we have a saying in Denmark: “You don’t see it, when the music’s playing” - meaning that most things a creator sees as flaws in their work, other people won’t even notice.
Wow, what a wonderful video! Thank You!!! I have found that the mistakes I make are only seen by me. Especially in sewing! So few people sew they don’t even know what they are seeing. Creative problem solving is the human way. Go for it!! There is no absolute right way to do something. I did wood crafts for many years. There were so many failures!! I kept them and a few times a year I hauled them outside to the fire pit, grabbed an adult beverage and had a “Failure Fire”. It was incredibly cathartic. Now that might not be a good idea with sewing but it did help me deal with the inevitable fails. If you dont have failures or make mistakes, you are probably not sewing up to your potential. If you expect perfection you will always be disappointed. Give yourself a healthy helping of Grace. And remember……press as you go and an excellent job of ironing can hide many technical flaws!
We all make mistakes and when we figure out a solution, it's the best feeling. And the .ore mistakes we make, the more we learn about what we are doing, how we are doing it and how to improve. .It's the journey not the destination so enjoy the trip.
I didn't see this video when it came out, but that's good because now was perfect timing to watch it, so thank you! 😊 I went to design school and I loved it, but I also regret the element of uniformity that it imposed on me. Also, I've never personally heard anything but good vibes about self-sewn garments; most people are just so thrilled that you do it yourself, but I will sit there and break down all of the imperfections myself. Fellow sewists will offer criticism, but it usually feels constructive... I've had many a discussion with strangers in my local joAnn 😂
I'm usually not too bad, but I recently had to sew quickly for a (fussy) historical event. I chanted "done is better than perfect" as I machine sewed the hem which helped a lot
On point thank you for this. I use a phrase from a Leonard Cohen song to steer myself away from getting hung up on some little detail... like an imperfect buttonhole. "There is a crack in everything, it's how the light get in."
Full disclosure, at 21:18 when you said theres a balance of knowing yourself I had to put the phone down and go scream (positive) for a few minutes. And it took me 3 tries to finish the rest 😭😂 feelings are hard. I've made it a point, when I give lessons, to work on deconstruction of perfection and to embrace the flaws in our work. To reward both problem solving as well as for asking for help when you feel stuck, and gently redirect negative views to more constructive ones I do think that a lot of our ideas of "perfection" come from industrialization, as well as a few other places such as social expectations, the rat race, and lingering trauma that weave a complex web of demand avoidance and internalized impossibly high expectations. And that a lot of our healing when it comes to perfectionism is rooted in the deconstruction of trauma, whether its personal or of society as a whole. And that busy hands leave our minds the space to work through those problems. Or, that's just me, who uses their craft to facilitate that healing. And I do realize that your vid was, as usual, posted at the exact time I needed to see it 💕 I'm stuck in my corset project still, because Im waffling about materials, what would be feasible and what isn't. When, in reality, I have everything I really need and I'm just losing myself in my expectations again. That I have the skill (and ✨spite✨) to make what I have work, I just have to stop tying myself up and do it. It won't be the last corset I ever make, so there's always room to use the materials I want.
6:15 - I've been honing my block pattern for almost a decade....not to remove every wrinkle....but to make a jumpsuit that allows FULL RANGE movement in the garment with the least amount of bulk. Because of my desire to perfect this aspect in my garments, I have discovered how to draft the crotch and underarms so that they extend and form what would be a gusset (without a gussett.) The drafting and redrafting process has taught me SO MUCH about crafting garments that are 3 dimensional in nature. I only made one muslin of a formfitting jumpsuit (with enough ease for movement) to get a basic block.... and I've made several jumpsuits (some multi layered and quilted for winter that require grading the layers) equipped with pockets and extras (making minute changes in the cut of each garment) Some of the garments take 70 hours to complete and without the perfection of a basic block (that I know allows movement without bulk) the garments I have wouldn't be _functional!_ My sewing skills are adequate... but pattern drafting is where my talent is. I've had to learn to slow down and focus on the details of sewing....because I used to be in such a hurry to test my draft that the final product didn't look as good on the inside as the outside. Now my garments look good inside and out, but I admire women who's sewing skills are impeccable.
@JoMomma that's so funny, I just finished my own jumpsuit, and using a pattern that I always go to expressly because it does have a lot of range of movement built into it!! Sounds like you should team up with fellow commenter below who has good sewing, but can't draft !
I mostly sew quilts since garments intimidate me. But still I made a wonderful PJ Thought, that nobody is going to see it , so it would not matter if it's not that good. But I have it since 10 years, wear it all winter long, even took it to the hospital once and started visible mending on it. So it just exceeded my expectations since they were low enough 😅
I'm so sorry, folks, I edited the captions yesterday but they seem to be stuck in "processing purgatory" and I don't know how long this will take 😥
Worked perfectly for me just now!
@@connorsmith9244 ahhh, finally!! Thank you for this comment, I just checked (briefly skimmed the video), and the improved version does finally seem to have finished syncing/processing... yay!!
"Practice makes better" is a much better motto than "practice makes perfect."
Yup, on to new and more interesting mistakes! :)
Actually, I think the first question should be: why do people feel free to make ugly comments. 🤦🏼♀️ I just don’t get that! I very much enjoy your videos including this one. Thank you for the encouragement! I do get paralyzed when I don’t have confidence that I know what I’m doing. I learned to sew watching CZcams videos during the covid lockdowns. I found something I absolutely love. You’ve been a part of this fun journey. Thank you for all you bring and do. ❤
I (fortunately) have never been bothered by other people's nasty comments because, among other things, I realize that it's absolutely a reflection on them and not on whatever part of me they're commenting on. Unfortunately others are more sensitive, and those nasty comments have been enough to discourage many a budding sewist, which makes me so sad. As someone else just commented, "stay in your lane and lift others up", right?!!
This is where I'm really grateful for my grandmother who taught me how to knit. Whenever I showed her something I'd finished. she'd admire it as I held it up, then she had me trained to *turn it inside out* for inspection.
And it really was an inspection. She used to work in a factory sewing stuff on industrial machines, and had learned how to knit in school.
She probably spent more time looking at my seams and yarn end finding, but you know what? She gave awesome feedback, and always made it clear that even if my seams were weirdly tensioned or my end darning overly creative (er, there was a phase I went through in high school), it was still totally cool I could wear something I made. She never made me feel like I had to unravel the whole thing and start again. There were a few times where she stepped in so something wouldn't fall apart on me, but even then it was in the context of, "you'll be able to do this yourself eventually."
She's passed away now, but I'm trying to do this with my sewing as well. Is it wearable? Yes? Then stop whining, I tell myself. I'll do better next time.
I absolutely love that approach, although I admit, when I read the first part of the sentence about her inspecting the inside of your work, I was expecting a different outcome, but I love where it went! This is such a healthy type of approach to constructively improving your crafting, I wish everyone could be more like this! Lovely lovely memory of your grandmother, thank you for sharing!
I love your grandma!
Love it! In the wise words of Samuel Beckett: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” Congratulations to anyone who has ever sewn anything at all, regardless of the end result, especially in an age of throw-away mass production. You made that yourself? That's amazing! Well done you! Lots of similar discussions have just been taking place during this year's International Bra Sewing Bee (which I came across for the first time a couple of months ago): this great forum was so encouraging for beginners and more advanced sewists alike. Very refreshing to have all the experts and fellow sewists confirming: 'Don't worry! Your first 2/4/6/8/10 bras won't fit, but that's part of the learning journey fun and everyone is here to support and encourage you'. And yes. My first bra was a disaster. But I'm looking forward to the next!
wonderful words of encouragement
@BeMoreBarnaby love this, and what a great quote too! Congratulations on your disaster and to the learning it provided! Huzzah to making more and learning more!
They say better is the enemy of good.
Bras are super challenging (at least my attempts haven’t resulted in a single usable option, not even a cup that fit lol)
I love the idea of failing better.
This was the perfect video for me this morning. I lost my job yesterday because the business is shutting down.
I started job hunting yesterday afternoon and was totally overwhelmed by not being able to totally fulfill job requirements, seeing no point in applying. You've really helped me to see that actually I have nothing to lose, there is no perfect job or perfect candidate. And if I don't get them I've actually lost nothing.
So I'm going to put my big girl knickers on and apply for them. You never know
I'm so sorry to hear that, loosing a job is never easy or fun, and I hope that the situation ends up leading you to newer opportunities elsewhere.
My policy in situations like that is always to ask myself "what's the worst case scenario?" and if the answer is then I just say "F-it, let's go for it!"
Long response, sorry in advance:
Don’t be discouraged because of skills gap. Just wanted to say that my whole career is due to one very good boss who called me in for an interview and decided she loved my personality and that it was far more important that I could work well with the rest of her team than to know the entire job from the start. She gave me the chance and it was the best job I ever had. Unfortunately, the company around us went downhill, so I found myself again looking for a job, but experiencing the same skills gap issues as you. This time I knew I needed to apply for everything and hope that again someone would be willing to take a chance on me. I was very up front in my applications and Linked In that I love to learn new things. This resulted in a ton on no’s and ‘you are not qualified’, but one excellent boss interviewed me, loved my willingness to learn, took a chance, and now I have a great job and make more $ than I ever thought possible.
I was going to day the same thing as Shannon! Just go for it! It can't really hurt to apply for jobs and they might see something in you that you don't. Good luck you've got this!
I spent a whole month going to one job interview after the other, each of them found I was “over qualified” and thus did not get the jobs, one guy told me to my face that he would not hire me because I would end up taking his job😳😳😳, so I packed my bags and flow to the States and backpacked around for a few months, loved it never the end I was getting homesick and felt I needed to fly back home, got to their airport rang my soon to be hubby who told me the agency found the perfect job that I was to star there on Monday morning🙀🙀🙀🙀no wonder I got the feeling I had to get home asap.
Sometimes you just have to step away and I’m glad I did this, I mean the whole reason I quit my job in the first place was because I wanted to travel 😹😹😹, because I did not do this no job interview worked out for me at all🤔🤔🤔.
I’m glad I took the time to visit the States when I did, I needed the brake and fresh new places to visit. Now I’m in part if my life where travel is not as simple as it use to be, but that’s okay because now I get to spend more time with my many different hobbies in my life.
I hope you find the right job, just take this as a step of a extra holiday and enjoy the journey.
I am in the same boat as I was laid off in May. Job hunting is not fun.
I was diagnosed ADHD last year at 50 years old...it explained SOOOO much abt me. I can be notorious for not finishing projects (or not starting bc of motivation challenges). Now, if I find I'm making a lot of mistakes or having little difficulties (running out of bobbin thread, needles coming unthreaded, etc.), I accept that The Force is not with me that day and stop. If I start off well, but notice that I'm rushing, making mistakes, and getting frustrated after a few hours, again, I stop and return another day. I'm probably getting tired or hungry and need to step away. Mainly, I think we need to show ourselves a little compassion for simply being human.
I got my diagnosis at 45, and totally get that too. Any time I try to 'power through', it just doesn't work out, and I need to step out of the room/away from the machine for a day or more. I don't know how many times I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong in the moment only to come back the next day and go '.. . oh.'
Diagnosed at 44, it’s been frustrating to have maximum creative ideas and minimal motivation, and especially as I go through menopause, being kind to myself is key that and setting tiny goals to achieve xx
Totally agree (even without ADHD)... breaks, if one has the luxury of time to be able to take them --and hopefully we all do, since it's a hobby-- can make projects just feel so much more enjoyable, avoids pushing through bouts of unenjoyable sewing... so many benefits to taking breaks!
Oh, gosh, that describes me exactly!!
My favorite saying is: Being good at something, does Not mean that you don't make mistakes, but that you are Better at Fixing the mistakes, When they happen.!.
So true!
I’m just getting back into sewing after many years. I gave it up because I found myself gathering the ideas and materials, but never executing. I know now it was fear of failure that kept me from getting past the starting line. TBH, it’s other CZcamsrs like you that gave me the confidence to fail, bc now I see that every single garment maker struggles with something at some point. And you are completely correct that sewing adds extra stress to be perfect, because I’m also an artist and do not have that same fear of failure with my other mediums. Keep doing what you do and know even your failures inspire the rest of us.
Buying craft supplies is a hobby all by itself!
My favorite thing to say to myself while sewing “Ugly sewing is historically accurate.”
I also have ADHD so here are some things I’ve found that work for me:
- for the first year of my sewing journey I didn’t iron a damn thing. I didn’t like the extra steps in between sewing seams. I’ve added in a bit of ironing over time but I do it in big chunks.
- wearable mock-ups. If it’s a pattern I’ve never used before I often make it out of a cheap fabric I bought at the second hand store that I like. I get to live in the garment and decide if it’s worth sewing again and any tweaks I might want to make.
- my mum always reminds me of this “Fabric isn’t wooden” it can’t be cut precisely down to the thousandth of a whatever. It will shift and stretch and it’s not going to be perfect and cutting/putting it together a little wonky is okay and probably going to happen a bit anyway.
- if I don’t like an element of a garment the pattern is telling me to include, I don’t do it or I do something else. Linings? Not a fan. Zippers? Not my jam. I French seam the straight seams and use a lot of hook and eye tape and buttons instead.
- side seam pockets in every lower garment. I have a pocket pattern that I re-use all the time. It’s massive. If I don’t suspend the other side of the pocket from the waist band I can fully fit a regular size bottle of wine in there.
So many good tips here, I love them all, so I'll only comment on a few - agreed that batching steps is super efficient (I try to sew all my darts/tucks, etc in one go). Also "fabric isn't wooden" puts into words something that I've been reflecting on too, as I sew! Great phrase! Thanks for sharing
I am sewing a small simple lined curtain while listening... now I just realized I did not sew with right sides together. I've been sewing for many many years. It's okay 😂 Relax. I will take a break and return with renewed enthusiasm.
I believe you are spot-on Shannon. Comparisons and perfectionism along with a tight time frame are all reasons sewing in home economics in public education was a large fail. Just keep going! You can do it!!
My favorite approach as well - relax, take a break (get some air, walk the dog, eat something, sleep on it) and return with a fresh brain!
The greatest gift I ever gave my creative self was permission to mess up. I got real with myself, acknowledged I was going to make mistakes, made it ok, and reminded myself that I can learn from them. I was also given the phrase "Better an imperfect finished project than a perfect forever project" and it reinforced making it ok to make mistakes
Permission to mess up is so valuable, I'm very glad you've been able to achieve that state, and I'm so happy for you!
I am a perfectionist and many times projects have made me cry. Or rather, I made myself cry by pressuring myself. As such, projects often didn't get finished, because somehow the last ten percent of sewing are the hardest. I had a knitted cat missing only one ear, a pullover missing one sleeve, a dress needing hemming etc etc..
My tip: I have a "day of the unfinished project" (DOTUP)
I set a day aside to simply finish some stuff... As sloppily as I'd like. There's no rule, done is done and done is good. Once the first project is finished it's so much easier to do the next, so I often end up sewing well into the night.
Love the DOTUP technique!
I love picking up old projects and seeing how far I've come!! I recently unpicked one of the first dresses I ever made and resewed it. It was very rewarding. Though it was riddled with "flaws" I remember being deeply proud of it when I made it... and it served as a memorial to my progress :). How nice it was to thank it for helping me get better and then to refashion it into something new!!
I absolutely love that idea - I feel like time often gives us the distance necessary to appreciate all our work, effort, success AND improvements! Great tactic!
I have been sewing for 70 years and that has taught me to take my time especialy as I can buy so many high quality clothes in charity shops and adapt and embelish them thus making them unique. As a trendy teenager I made Quant designs because I could not afford new clothes and home sewing was normal but things have changed. I was happy to have 3 or 4 new garments a year. Slow fashion is still my ethical choice and I'm surprised younger people hope to fill their wardrobes with as many handmade clothes as they may have bought from shops in the past. If you take your time and sew for pleasure you will still have good clothes that really suit you fit to wear in 10 years time. You can edit out the shop bought duds once you build your own collection. So set a long term goal not a short term deadline
I'm AUDHD, and yeah. Perfectionism is a struggle. I remember having a bit of a breakthrough when I told my therapist that I couldn't be a perfectionist because 'I've never made anything perfect'. It's funny now... I'm still early in my sewing journey, made tricker by me having sensory issues, chronic pain, weird proportions and being very plus size, and my biggest tip is honestly not to push through. When I'm frustrated with a project I love to set it aside for days, weeks, even months, and go work on other things. It stops me getting bored, and allows me to give things the time they need. I would NEVER do 2 mock-ups in a row because my ADHD brain wants things done NOW, but if I put a month between them it doesn't infuriate me. It means I have multiple projects on the go between sewing, crochet, and other crafts, but they do EVENTUALLY get finished. I recently stepped in out in a handmade linen split side tiered skirt with a hand painted faux leather corset and I got so many compliments, even though I'd really not been happy with the finishing on either. Forgiveness and variety go a long way. As I type this I'm in the middle of a second mock-up of an Edwardian-style waistcoat, and I'm so excited to come back to it after the time away.
Two things that have helped me with my own perfectionism: The on-purpose-bad project (I did this with writing, where I keep a terrible movie script I've been writing on-hand to write more terrible scenes for, and it's very freeing) and the "make this to throw it away" project, where I start a project that I know I'll either paint over, strip down and start over, or really just throw it away, just to get some techniques or starting on having my hands do something while I'm learning or waiting for inspiration.
Yesss! One of the videos I linked in the description (the one by struthless) talks a lot about this concept - really good video, highly recommend it, it's very entertaining. And also there's the CV of Failure, which I'm absolutely going to do a video on my own at some point... While I love the concept, I admit I do struggle to incorporate that specific tactic into my sewing, simply because it feels like a waste of materials to me... but I could absolutely see me using it in something like writing, or out of garbage materials in a non-sewing project!
I just finished a button-up shirt that i wanted to give up on a couple of times because it wasn't coming out perfect. I'm so happy I took the time to regroup myself and stick with it! It makes me so happy to wear, even with it's imperfections. And to top it off, i learned a ton of new skills that'll be easier the next time i do them. ❤
Love that, and congrats on finishing the shirt and not giving up!!
Perfect timing! I am a recovering perfectionist and last night some of that perfectionism sneaked in again. I am doing a garment in a technique I never done before and some of my top stitching wasn’t the straightest. My brain went back to old habits “how can you not sew a straight line after over 20 years?” Like you I also share my work online so I had thoughts of people writing mean comments about my not so straight lines.
But hey we all make mistakes! I have never done this technique before. And unless I stand there looking at the garment with a magnifying glass I don’t think you will ever notice.
I also love the tip about looking at other garments. One thing I want to add is that if you look at a very well made ready to wear and feel a bit inferior is that those garments have been going through several iterations and refinements in the construction before they went to production. The person making these garments has most likely also made many similar garments before. They might even specialize in that specific technique. Therefore we cannot demand the same level from ourselves when we are making our first version.
First off remember to feel sorry for the people who have lives so very horrible that the only way they can feel good is to make others feel bad! So disregard any negative comments! Second cut yourself some slack. I've been sewing for a very long time and I still make silly mistakes and yeah sometimes that annoying voice in my head says "really after all this time you still can't do it correctly" sometimes the mistake becomes a decorative feature sometimes it gets picked out. You will always notice the little imperfection because your the creator! Your look for them. Most of us are the over all garment not the stitches! Took me years to see that the things I thought stood out no one else saw! There isn't a neon sign pointing at while flashing look at this!
I know it's really hard but you have to remember it's about the projects not the individual stitches!
Love this reminder about the iterative process that's gone into ready-to-wear garments that we don't even see or usually think about!
I cannot sew a straight line after over twenty years either.. They're getting better, but even with a machine I'm all over the place. I compensate by cutting the seam allowance off any close-fitting pattern and drawing my stitch lines, then freehanding the seam allowance lines.
When I was watching this, my brain swapped out the word "sewing" for "drawing" for a split second and this video still made all the sense in the world. What a well done video and pep talk because this topic is truly universal! Thank you Shannon!
Yea, it's so true that theres a lot of this that is pretty universal. Maybe not all of it, but so much of it can be taken and applied to other creative endeavors... or even life in general!!
When I worked in alterations, our mantra was, "It should look like you were never in there." Of course that simply means from the outside. It didn't mean we left it sloppy but we were mindful to leave it as clean as possible.
However I remember my boss saying, "There's a difference between a home sewer and a professional." I am team There Doesn't Have To Be. And it certainly doesn't have to be about perfection. (Even professionals have seam rippers!)
I love sewing and taking my time to complete a garment I can be proud to wear. I don't mind doing french seams to hide raw edges since I don't own a serger. Or maybe I'm hand stitching a hem so it's invisible. To me those finishing touches are what make it my version of couture and I get to privately enjoy that.
I've never been in a position to afford expensive tailored garments but I can make them myself and that brings me joy!
Recovering perfectionist here. Honestly allowing myself to make something that's only "good enough" made such a difference to me. I basically spent a year planning and sewing my wedding dress to make sure it was as perfect as it could be, and here's the kicker, even after all that time and mockups, the back still had a small section that gaped at the buttons/button loops a little bit showing the placket behind, but it didn't matter because it looked amazing and it didn't affect the overall look/was barely noticeable unless you were looking for flaws. So I do sort of find it reassuring that even if I spent a year on a project, it's still not going to be perfect, so give myself a break.
Also RetroClaude's "Good, Better, Best" system really has been a lifesaver for everything not just craft stuff. I recently applied it to childcare options and feel a heck a lot better about the whole situation than I think I would have without it (because it looks like we're ending up with a "better" solution)
My pajama pants and shorts are my 'good enough' projects. Seriously, who cares if something is wonky? Oh, and I used them to teach myself French seams because I don't have a serger. Perfect? No. Better than fraying seam allowances? ABSOLUTELY!
@@wendyreynolds2261 honestly I love a French seam! Wonky pj pants for the win
I literally just started sewing after getting frustrated with my mental blocks keeping me from starting a hobby I was interested in. The biggest things that got me there was 1) using bedsheets (no cost, no fear of ‘waste’), 2) picking a practical simple first project (sewing machine cover), and 3) reframing the goal of the project from being the finished product to learning a few key skills (learning the sewing machine) with the PROMISE that I will go back and add NEW goals (getting used to the fitting process, sewing different kinds of seams, etc)…then 4) forcing myself to move onto something else once the product is *functionally* done
Yes, I love and totally agree with all your steps, and it's one of the reasons I advocate at least considering using thrifted fabrics and making mock-ups - I find that both really lower the barrier to entry for a lot of people. Also great point about moving on when the project is functionally done!
This is so me. If you don’t try, you can’t fail. The problem with that philosophy is that it makes it virtually impossible to accomplish anything. Hmmmm, much introspection and positive self-talk required. 😔 In other news… Corgi-content! Yay! 🥰
Loving this and Snappy Dragon’s discussion on this topic. You’ve both brought up the most important point: it’s not about the destination but about the journey. Yes, it’s wonderful to have new costumes and things made of natural fibers that fit, and it’s also wonderful to learn and grow as a fiber artist. As a person with ADHD, I’ve picked up and dropped more hobbies than there are videos for on YT, yet I find that sewing is one of the few hobbies that stays with me and sustains me. I feel antsy and out of sorts if I’m not creating or thinking about creating, or doing research on a new project. I frequently dream about sewing, and wake up in the middle of the night to scribble down my ideas. I let myself bounce from one project to another because I get easily distracted or frustrated, but I need to be working. It’s like the air I breathe. While that seems like utter chaos to some, it helps me to not become overwhelmed and walk away permanently. I’ll also start projects at the last possible moment because deadlines increase my focus.
Not about the destination, but the journey... 1000% !
Sewing for nearly 50 years, there is always something new to explore and Seam ripper time to spend.
So true!
My best tip for them negative thoughts start rushing in is to stop. Put your project away for a night or even a couple of days, let your emotions calm down. And then take it out again. Change what needed change and proceed.
Last weekend I was sewing a dress that I wanted to throw in the bin at the end of the day. A couple of days break made me able to finish it today. I needed the seam ripper constantly and the inside is a hot mess, but it’s done and yes, I think I learned a thing or two. 😊
Thanks for the pep talk!
Taking breaks is definitely a technique I use ALL. THE. TIME. not even for perfectionism reasons, but just for all the reasons... if one has the ability/luxury to take a break on a project, it can be so refreshing and rewarding!
Honestly, one of the biggest "helpers" for my perfectionism has been my children. When I'm making stuff for them, I can see all the flaws - but all they see is, "OH COOL, look what momma made for me!" Seeing my projects through another perspective has helped a lot. And bonus, since I've been doing it more and practicing more, I'm getting better! I'm making different mistakes now!
LOVE that!!
I have OCD and ADHD, it does not make for a fun time when trying to make stuff to wear. So, in order to get from the start to the finish of the project in the same century I repeat this mantra: FUNCTION OVER FORM. And you can always 'edit' a garment later if you have a good seam allowance when your skills improve! That's the joy of making it yourself, you can allow the wiggle room!
I'm so pleased to hear that you've found a balance that seems to work for you, and that you do manage to finish your creations and have joy in the creative process. I'm sure it wasn't easy, but seriously, congrats!! FUNCTION OVER FORM!! 💪
One thing I’ve found to help me (I’ve been working more with crochet and knitting) is having 2-3 projects going at the same time to keep my interest. I’ve been working on a sweater on and off for months that I’m excited to wear and have for myself, but I’ve been challenging myself with a pair of socks and have an easy hat project on the side. I find that if I’m not in the mood for one, I probably will be for another and so the work continues until they are finished. Occasionally I press myself on a timeline for presents, but that is often stressful and leads to burnout for me
Totally agree on this, and I also love to have multiple things running at once!
I hand sew, so if I make a BIG mistake, I end up shelving the project until I have the time, energy, and the peacefulness to work on it again.
I have a coat that needs a bigger peplum. It is also patterned fabric, so everything has to match up. I have to rip out all the seams, cut a new peice of fabric and start over. It will be beautiful once I finish it, but I just don't have the patience right now. If I don't take my time, it will not come out, and I will not wear it.
I did make some mistakes on my mock up, but I still really love it. Most people don't even see the mistakes.
Yup, I definitely have been known to take some time away from a project, because I agree that for me personally, I'd rather wait until I'm in the right headspace to do the task the way I'd envisioned it (i.e. match up patterns), because I know I'll enjoy it more that way! But I also don't struggle with ADHD or anything like that, so focusing is not a problem for me! And totally agreed that most people don't even see the mistakes!
this video hit more than i thought it would- ive found sewing so much more stressful than painting, or crocheting, or spinning yarn, and i realized that its because i expect my sewing to look perfect and i *dont* expect that of my other crafts. I have an in-progress kigurumi project thats been sitting in my 'to-do' pile for almost a year untouched, because im afraid of appliqueing fleece onto fleece and dont know how im going to do the button placket. ive been thinking and procrastinating on it for so long cause im worried that ill mess it up. i have so much extra fleece and thread that i really do need to just... *do* it. better to try it and f*ck it up then never do it at all.
thank you for the quality advice, shannon!
You're very welcome, and thank you for your input! I have a few videos that involve plackets, in case you need inspiration, but otherwise, if you have a lot of extra fleece, maybe you can mock up a separate placket, just to test it out, see if that helps you get over that hurdle in the project?! Best of luck!
I heard from my grandfather for my whole childhood that I will never be good enough. While every other person in my family told me he was wrong it stuck with me, and now, after 3.5 years of therapy I'm trying to learn to think that I am good enough (and I'm 28). One thing that my therapist said to me, that I think could help everyone is that we have to make mistakes, because how would we know that something doesn't work for us? It still scares me to cut fabric, but I love handsewing, I'm learning to sew on machine (with a lot of frustration, because my brain tells me that I should know how to do it) and I know that if I don't cut fabric I won't have anything to sew.
♥️💙💜💚🧡💛
It was visible mending that helped me get over perfectionism in sewing enough to start actually, y'know, sewing things. Alterations and repairs in general I have found incredibly freeing: if something ALREADY isn't being used because of (holes, wear, fit, etc), then nothing I can do to it will make it WORSE, right?? And the repair can actually add beauty, AND the handmade look of the repair just adds to it even more. (I accidentally cut into the leg of a pair of pants I was mending and OH WOW was it the worst feeling in the world -- but they already weren't wearable, so, okay, it gave me a chance to figure out how to fix a pinking cut and turn it into something decorative. It made the project take a lot longer, but it actually ended up BETTER, and you almost can't tell. Unless you turn them inside out.)
I just finished altering a dress my MIL made for herself and repurposed it into a skirt for my firstborn teenager, and whoo boy is it imperfect -- the panels I was inserting for the extra waist width weren't long enough, the rolled hem where I cut off the bodice was a nightmare and I didn't have time to hand stitch it -- BUT, he loves it, and now gets to wear something his grandparent and his parent had a hand in making. And yeah, it has me itching to go make a new skirt next, because, as mending taught me, a skirt that exists and is wearable is better than fabric sitting in a drawer and isn't wearable, and that's good enough.
Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! That double whammy of historical accuracy hits hard. 🎯 💯
You're very welcome ❤️❤️🫂
I love the examples out there of historical garments with mismatched plaids, unfinished seams, and other things that modern sewists are horrified by.
One of my mottos is " just because they had to do it doesn't mean that they were good at it." Also piecing is period.
So, so true!!
There are some knitted items that are MUSEUM pieces that have the cables visibly crossing the wrong way! Alice Starmore's _Aran Knitting_ features one as an example of the beauty and craftsmanship of Aran knitting - the fact that one cable crosses the wrong way makes it just that much more special.
This is an important subject that is often not spoken about. Thank you for this post and your thoughts on the subject.
I use to sew when I was younger. I even sewed my wedding dress and hat. I'm very proud of it. Thirtyish years have passed since I went on this endeavor. No physical or digital evidence of my creation. The dopamine rush I got when I finished it was overwhelming. Yet that didn't compare to the rush when the wedding guests found out I made it.. Combining 2 dress patterns, adding my own uniqueness; teal bodice lace and matching color lace highlighting the low "V" back. In spite of the bad marriage, divorced for 10 years :) the memory of the dress still puts a smile on my face.
I'm proudly in the clan of neurodivergent. Perfectionism has always been with me. I don't remember when it wasn't there. The degree in which it hinders me has changed in the last 2 years. My personal growth has given me the comfort level of picking where I want perfection and where ït's good enough." I don't remember where I read this quote "without change we wouldn't have butterflies."
I have WIPs of different crafts. Crocheting is my main focus. The hyper-focus we neurodiverents go through gives us the dopamine rush we crave. Then the crash. Many times before a project is done. Go to another project. Being able to have a quick project will get me back on track. If it doesn't it's ok. I've learned that by being so focused on perfection the reason for doing the project is forgotten. The joy of creating is gone. It's ok to step away. Life is too short.
"without change, we wouldn't have butterflies" ...what a lovely expression, thank you! And thank you for sharing your perspectives. I'm glad you've found a way to work with/around your perfectionism, and that you haven't let it get completely in the way of your crafting!
This is why I love flexible sew alongs, it lets us share in the process with less time or skill level pressure. I think extrapolating the idea of 10 seamstresses tackling the same dress would be amazing for one of your projects actually. I experience this a lot more in baking but it is more visible in sewing.
Your description of rushing through for the reward really points me toward that type of creative expression rather than my usual getting bogged down in prep so I rarely start. I definitely need external catalysts for creation, just need to incorporate them into what I make.
Great video! It’s going into my ‘rewatch when I am mired in the creative doldrums’ playlist.
Awww, thank you, glad it resonated with you
(Weighing in as a dually-neurodivergent - autism and ADHD) I've been sewing since before I started kindergarten, over 20 years 🤯 both of my grandmothers sewed - one did more quilts and one did garments. I started sewing as my full time job a few years ago, though not clothing, but I do have a... massive... stockpile of unstarted or unfinished garments for myself, and thrifted items to upcycle or repair.
Since I use my sewing room for work, I can't often spend even a few days in a row on a project because I need the table and machine space. Then switching the needle and thread out in my industrial machine or dragging out a different one, remembering to wash the fabric, hoping I have enough, worrying if theres something better I could use the fabric for, or even just picking which project to work on next!
I've tried a project journal which helps, especially if I want to recreate it later, I can remember adjustments and such that I made.
Also starting small - if I have time to work on projects, I'll pull out a smaller mending task like a button replacement or ripped pocket. That gives me just enough dopamine to want to work on the next thing 😅
Thank you for being so clear that you expect commenters to be encouraging and not tear each other down. It’s astonishing how much weight a negative comment can have and how long that effect can last, and it’s equally astonishing how much joy and ease a positive comment can bring.
You're very welcome, and I fully agree with what you said!
So true, Shannon.
I told my art students
that this is where they are now. Stop criticizing your work.
It makes it look handmade and not machine made. That’s good
Doing is better than not doing.
One of the best things for me for letting go of perfectionism is my sewing was to move from quilts to clothing. That perfect 1/4-inch seam always eluded me (I didn't know about seam guides either, y'all), so I ended up with blocks that weren't the right size and therefore didn't line up or seams that sprung open because I'd skirted the edge far too closely--and often those occurred in the same piece. It was maddening and I didn't enjoy it. Then I started making clothes, and the simple fact of a 5/8-inch or half-inch seam allowance was so incredibly freeing! And if you were off just a teensy bit, it really didn't affect the garment noticeably, most of the time! What a revelation.
I like the phrase "keep a beginner mind". It brings into the frame that you cannot learn what you already know, so you should be seeking out those things that you don't know. And expect that those things will bring mistakes. All beginners make mistakes as they learn. And, since there is always more you learn, everyone is a beginner. Beginners have minds that are wide open to soak up all of the knowledge available. When you start to think you know everything about a subject, you prevent yourself from learning those things you do not know, because you don't recognize that there is more to learn. When you assume (regardless of experience level) that everything and everyone around you has something you can learn from, you suddenly become more able to recognize gaps in your knowledge.
Then the second thing is that you should be seeking at least 20% mistakes. If 80% of your garment goes off without a hitch, you are refining your technique 80% of the time. The 20% of mistakes? That is new knowledge you are acquiring. If you don't have those mistakes, are you acquiring knowledge? The key is to seek the mistakes, rather than to avoid them. They are signs that you are growing. Mistakes are good things.
This was amazing discussion, thank you! I took Home Ec. I picked up some sewing from my mom, but following a pattern was rarely possible for me. I gave up until I was married and starting doing some very hackish sewing for adjusting halloween costumes, and eventually starting making them myself. No pattern, just me, the fabric, and my old nemesis sewing machine. Were they great? No. But did I wear them? You bet. And it was fun. Once I had kids, I did more - daughter wanted to be Fluttershy? Lets go sew! Son wanted dragon gloves? Bring it. Again, they were not great or right, but they worked, and they were worn. Kinda like baking. Most of the time people eat all the mistakes. I still sew sometimes - hemming something, repairing things. I still have my reversible satin hooded "cape" that worked for both Little Red Riding Hood and Dracula from 20 years ago. Its a mess, the seams are crooked, the red side doesnt match the black side, and there is something super funky about the neckline, but while I am wearing it (or one of my kids, or even my friends) No one cares! They are tickled to have access to a cool garment that I made. For me thats the best part, and I try not to pressure myself for my mistakes.
You're welcome, thank you for watching! Love your fun approach to sewing, and I'm sure you've made so many good memories for your children in the process!
Watching historical costume unboxing videos was what helped me! If that couture coat from 1915 can still have a pin left in the seam allowance and be thought of as a fantastic piece, then my lines can be a bit wonky. I like to imagine Abby Cox reviewing it and enthusing over how janky it looks.
My go-to is to remind myself that the little flaws are what makes a project ✨artisinal✨
1. One way I combat my own perfectionism is to ask myself "what does *good enough* look like?" For example, if I'm making a button front skirt, how close to perfect do the button overlaps need to be at the hem, where nobody will take a good look at them? They don't need to be spot on ... for me, 1/8 inch is good enough.
2. I used to do a lot of knitting, at an advanced level, including pattern design and teaching. I was knitting in public once, and a woman I never met said to me "you're knitting wrong."
If I was less experienced, she would have felled me ... I was too polite to say: I knit the way my Hungarian grandmother did, and how she taught my mom, who taught me. My grandmother ran a yarn store for years, my mom translated patterns into English ... there are many, many ways to knit, as long as you get the results you want, it's never wrong. You are scolding me because I hold the yarn in my left hand, not my right - there are women in Greece, far faster knitters than you, who loop it behind their necks.
I could have cut her down, yes ... but I'm too nice.
3. More wisdom I learned from knitting. There are two types of work, product oriented and process.
Product is when you are focused on the end result, the item you will have when the work is complete. Process is the work you do because you enjoy the work itself, the end result matters much less.
This is true in sewing too. I might use scrap fabric to make a mockup to test out a new technique, or figure out a new bust alteration - that's process. Meanwhile, I made a full set of waffle weave towels, 2 throw pillows, and a simple shirt dress - all products.
Limiting your perfectionism to process things will help.
omg, I love your anecdote (and you're a much nicer person than me, I would have been SO tempted to cut her down too). It sounds like you have a couple very lovely approaches to your perfectionism, and I'm so glad you don't let it stop you from making lovely creations!!
I am not a perfectionist. I think. I AM an anxious mess with bouts of depression. I watch some sewing youtubers for their knowledge and skill, they teach as they sew. Even if I cant get out of bed i always learn something. I watch other sewing youtubers for their beautiful, aesthetic shots, complicated dream projects and calm voices. They are calming and soothing in a very crazy world. And another catagory of youtubers help me figure out this tricky step in my instructions. But the ones I watch when I need to be reminded I am allowed sew? Rachel Maksey and Micarah Tewers top that list. Their chaos is just how I feel in my sewing. I measure seam allowences by my thumbs instead of barbie skateboards, and I iron only after dark. They are not the best sewists but they sure make me feel like I can do it too. A great reminder that I can make a wearable garment and be proud of it, even if it isnt hand sewn or if every seam allowance isnt exactly .5 in or 1 cm, or my hem isnt invisible. No one is looking that close at my hems!
I feel called out on this lol. I literally have a box of vintage estate sale fabric that I am afraid to touch because I'm afraid of wasting or ruining it. I realized that what I consider to be a glaring obvious fault most people don't even notice.
lol I just responded to someone else's comment with this, so I'll paraphrase: one of the reasons I advocate making mock-ups (especially from thrifted fabrics) is exactly to combat this feeling. Because it's a logical feeling and fear, and I find that doing a mock-up can really help eliminate some of that paralysis!! BEST of luck with you lovely fabrics!
I have the same issue! Granny gave me a lot of fabric, some even from 50s and I'm terrified to cut into it, because if I mess up, there is not even cm more to be found. But also she gave it to me because she wants me to use it up. Last month she found really nice boucle from 80s and she told me 'Here you have fabric for a skirt, I want to see it this autumn' and now I have no other choice 😂 And the longer I'm thinking about it, I realise that if I make something timeless, like simple blouses, gathered, circle or pencil skirts, then someone could wear them when they won't fit me anymore (I did the same thing with my mum's and granny's stuff when I was teenager).
I taught middle school girls' sewing, displaying finished projects in the hallway. One kitchen apron project was titled "The Creative Fix," as each student made unique errors and unique creative corrections. 😊
As a professional alterations tailoress, I know that my skills on a sewing machine were honed by shortening trousers 5 days a week for a couple of years. Yes I did other jobs as well in that time, but the repetitive nature of the work is what has given me my current skills and confidence in my sewing abilities, so that I can tackle most anything that can be sewn. My most useful tool? A seam ripper, and not just for ripping seams. When working alongside another machinist, if we are both doing the same job, I don’t compare my speed/finish to theirs, I compare it to how well I did the last box of work to the one before it. Being a professional does not mean that we don’t make mistakes - we do and sometimes in new and exciting ways, but sometimes in silly simple ways, what we do have are the skills to quickly rectify the mistakes so that they are not apparent. Older tailors will say that you need to sew at least 1000 buttonholes to get good at them. If you make things, the only way to get better is practice, practice, practice.
best quote: “congratulations . . . you have made the ultimate straitjacket.” thank you for putting into words my thoughts on perfectionism.
My pleasure!
Perfection and failure, will for me, always go hand in hand.
I make the most of my clothes (sew and knitting), and have done for years, and I still learn new things from the mistakes I make.
If you don’t learn from your mistakes, why even sew, or whatever you do? No one, will ever be to old, to learn something new❤️
Thank you for sharing
SO true!!
"Nothing we see or hear is perfect. But right there in the imperfection is perfect reality." (Shunryu Suzuki, 1904-1971)
I found this quote be researching intentional imperfections. Sometimes I think about it to remind myself that no matter how hard I try I won't achieve perfection so I try to find a balance between wearable and nearly perfect
Thank you for this lovely quote, I adore it
As someone who's currently taking college courses, institutional knowledge when it comes to the fast fashion industry sadly is a must, to understand how the original pattern drafter and cutter intend on the garment being assembled, as it's made in a way to not only be the fastest method possible, but also within the specifics of the pattern itself, which is where you could go into what constitutes as a "mistake" with fast fashion and ultra fast fashion shops (giving a side eye at Shien and Temu), and workers getting docked pay for said mistakes, regardless of how minor they are.
For home sewists, ignore those inner demons, and ignore fast fashion standards (cause they are quite hard to attain) and listen to Shannon, when sometimes good enough, is good enough. You can have beautiful garments, bags, or accessories, without your seams having to be 110% perfect
For many years, I mostly sewed crafts, home dec & Halloween costumes that only needed to be worn for a few hours. There was no CZcams university back then and I just couldn’t figure out fitting from a book. I grew up wearing home sewn clothes. They were miserably uncomfortable due to trying to save fabric and ignoring the grain. They also unraveled in the wash as the only seam finish used was pinking shears and that just wasn’t enough. I’ve learned so much since 😆.
I do consider myself a perfectionist, but only when it comes to my own endeavors. And even then, I know perfect doesn't actually exist. I use it to drive me to do my best and keep learning rather than to beat myself up with not achieving perfect. I hold no one but myself to my standards. Historically adequate is my mantra on anything that might be done with a historical inspo or bent, we can hypothesize all we like about how things were done 'back then' but we weren't there. We can't know for sure how accurate something was, so unless you're being judged (like, in a contest or something like that) for how close you got, who cares how you got there? So many people are just way to hung up on how other people do things. Stay in your lane and lift others up by admiring how hard they worked on that item and how well they did with it. Don't nitpick someone else's work unless they ask you to. (I do ask for it sometimes because I want to get better at the thing and I have friends that are more experienced in sewing than me.) Remember what we all learned as little kids, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".
"Stay in your lane and lift others" 💯❤️
I enjoy sewing clothes that look 'professional', and I am happy to take longer to get there. I probably make 3-4 items a year. What I struggle with the most is youtube giving the impression everyone sews a garment a month or more. So I constantly remind myself it's fine to sew slow, and to not chase the new shiny. It has also really helped digging down into what clothes I actually like on me, and not just what looks cool in general.
Omg, I just made another rambling content somewhere else in these comments about how CZcams and the "social media/content creation machine" in general encourage us as creators to keep making newer things; we never really make the same pattern multiple times for fear of the algorithm or loosing viewer's interest, and I think the same goes for just the quantity of things one makes. Unless you've got a REALLY big following, or an incredibly great/specific personality, it can be hard to be a sewing channel that also does talking head videos (for example: this video has bombed compared to my usual ones), so you feel pressured to sew as much as possible... fortunately I just like sewing, and I also sell a lot of my creations afterwards on KoFi, but yea, it's like... way more sewing than I was doing before having a channel.
But I'm glad that you have done that introspection to know that you're happier with the slower sewing, the 3-4 garments a year, and that it's helped you to find your true style.
@@ShannonMakes Yes, I feel like sewing for entertainment (and education) should be it's own separate category. Personally I find it interesting and useful when people show how they've sewn and adapted a pattern in multiple ways over time - but you tend to see that more in instagram posts.
Well for me it is, that I finish a Project and than only see all the flaws and don’t enjoy it enough. I always want to redo or work on it again. But I am at the same time frozen in beeing unhappy with my mistakes :/ at least it only happens with garments. Other sewing Projects are always rewarding. thanks for your pep talk ❤❤❤
You're very welcome, I hope it gives you a little motivation to tackle your sewing pile
For a long time I stopped sewing because of one nasty remark made many years ago, when I started watching CZcams when it started all those years ago and it started to get popular with experts and beginners alike that the one thing I noticed they were sewing and filming to encourage so many back to the art of sewing.
Abby Cox showed so many vintage outfits and showed the whopping sloppy work compared to todays standard but the outfit looked great on the outside.
I now sew just for me and my enjoyment, I love watching CZcamsrs because so many are like you, who say go with the flow, mistakes and all.
I have a machine where I do not need the foot peddle, something my husband and Mom found for me because of my mobility issues, I have learned to sew at a slower speed and found it enjoyable speed to work at.
At the moment I’m making project bags as I noticed my shopping bags are vanishing 😹😹😹because of this I’m getting my shopping bags back for shopping but I’m getting the kind of project bags needed for my many hobbies and this will make grabbing a hobby for the day a lot simpler😹😹😹plus I noticed my shopping bags are turning into blue or green powder so I’m making new outer bangs for them as they are the cheap freezer bags with zips on them and only need new outer bag and handles. This is also a great stash/scrap buster as well.
I lover it when so many of my fav CZcamsrs sit down and remind us that they to do make mistakes, but due to the art of editing, not all if it makes the cut but ends up on the cutting floor. There are so many out there that only show the perfect way to the perfect finished article that you wonder how long it really took them to make in reality.
As you have said so many times and I love it, “you do you and I will do me” everyone one have their own style in some cases it takes newbies a long time to find their style because they get caught up in the “perfectionist trap” as my teacher once told me at collage.
My Mom taught me to knit and sew, but we both decided to go to collage and do fashion and pattern drafting together for a number of years. The teacher found in fascinating watching us both doing the same thing but totally different at the same time, even though my Mom taught me to sew I did not sew or knit like Mom at all.
I had a teacher that described perfect as Nothing added, nothing left out, never finished.
I'm binge-watching my favourite YT folks to catch up, but I just had to leave a comment on this one. Firstly, thank you so much for acknowledging that neuro-spicy brains may well have different triggers for anxiety and perfectionism and that we may also need different solutions. It was literally the first thing I thought of when I started watching, and I was so happy to see you mention it 💜 The second thing that sprang to mind was a video by German maker Laura Kampf (I'll link in the following comment in case YT eats it). It's from last February, in response to an endless stream of problems and failures with a tiny house build. It's called Dealing With Failure (Making and Problems), and she talks about how failures and solutions are an integral part of the making process - you can't have one without the other. I think you'll enjoy it 👍
I love Laura, I've watched her channel for years and years!! She's such a fun maker, and very much in the same make-do and reuse ethos as I... would love to meet her one day!
I was diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year, and here's what I've discovered since re-sorting my brain: Work on what you want to work on. Every time I try to work on something else that I'm not actually interested in but want to do something different to improve my skills - that just doesn't happen and I get frustrated and end up with something I don't like. Maybe I can try to work around that next year, but not this year. If I want to teach myself something new, it will HAVE to be part of a project I want to do already.
Second: It's SUPER EASY to underestimate your current skill level. Like, tremendously. Don't sell yourself short. I have to remind myself of how far I've come over 20+ years of mostly part-time, 'for fun' sewing. I'm making things now that I absolutely could not have made back then - either because of resource availability, time, or my skill set (or all three). I have to tell myself that what I know now really has been a ton of hard work and learning over time. I have some friends that sew, but I also have a ton who wouldn't know where to even start. People who see my simple day-wear dress are as awed by my ability to sew as the ones who have seen my more elaborate, actual costumes. Sometimes someone will ask me for fabric advice and it's just something I know now and I need to stop blowing off my own abilities and institutional knowledge. It's still a valuable skill, and I have to remind myself that it is a real skill and not 'just a hobby'.
I'm not sure that I can help you with this, I live in a city of almost 2 million, so resources are not an issue for me. Sorry!
Love this!! ❤️❤️❤️
So, here’s what happened while I listened to this video. I FINALLY sewed a button on my husband’s shorts! I’m a quilter!!! But I also removed the binding from a quilt I made recently because I did an absolutely terrible job of putting it on, which was awful because I love the binding process, but this was black on black and I did a terrible job and didn’t even want to take it off! But I did! And now I can try again.
And while I was doing that and listening to you, I realized the reason I have not finished painting my house is that I know it won’t be perfect! But I’m going to go back out there and simply give it my best.
Thank you for another great video. ❤️💕❤️
Yay congrats!! Fight those brain goblins, Do The Things!!
I recently made a couple of split side adjustable skirts for myself and my sister and was anxious about what my sister and my mum would think. Mum has been sewing most of her life and is very precise. I have not sewn for the last decade or so and was using an old singer hand crank machine like your thumbnail. My negative expectations of their responses was not realised. Mum thought it was great that I could make something so well based on watching a youtube video and doing some maths, and my sister commented that she could not sew straight with both hands guiding the fabric. The people I work with were just amazed that I actually made clothing that could be worn! I need to remind myself that it is the pressure I put on myself that does the most harm, and fuels the negative voices in my head. I like to think I am perfect, but have to accept that I am not. Skirts need some additional work, but look good enough for now, and that is enough until I have time and mental energy to fix them. Appreciate your perspective, and you sharing it in such a caring and sensitive manner.
Fantastic job, congrats on not letting your worries and concern get the best of you!!
I have been struggling with this for several years now. I am in a place in my life where I want to make clothes for my grandchildren and sometimes others. At this point, I want them to be perfect because I believe that the clothes will outlast me. My level of perfection comes from what people will say in the future. Will they look at something I’ve made as juvenile or less than professional? Will other members of the extended family, take apart my project as a way of denigrating me? This has made it impossible for me to create anything. And I have missed so many opportunities. Yet, the grandchildren continue to get bigger and grow. When my children were little, I made tons of things for them. Because sewing was a way of providing clothes for my children, and I knew no one would ever look closely at the sewing. Wow. I have never said that out loud! Where do I send my fee for one hour’s worth of counseling? 😂 Thank you for this video.
If my niece's kids see the insides of some of the dresses I've made her, they'd roll over laughing. That said, she loves them, she's feels good in them, and I doubt they'll survive past her little sister. In the meantime, I'm learning and she feels loved. Nobody else has the skills/ time/ inclination to make her dresses, so they know better than to comment on a few loose threads and a wonky zipper.
@@MWPNW thank you so much. You are very kind. I agree, no one else has made anything that even comes close to a handmade dress or romper! They shouldn’t say anything. I seem to have lost my piss and vinegar!
LOL, just reading your comment now, and it sounds like it's a good thing this video found you... I hope it can give you that little burst of motivation or sew-jo to get back into the sewing a little bit, and try to move past the fear of judgement... remember that if anybody negatively comments on your work 1.) they are often within range of a swift kick to the shins, and 2.) you can tell them they're always welcome to make their own [insert-garment-of-judgement-here] and to make it better if that's what they desire. I guarantee you, they never will, and that usually shuts them up.
Thank you. What you said in this video made sense and resonated with me. I don't feel like I'm trying to be "Perfect" with my sewing. I really love to sew and can get so hyperfocused on getting a project done that I lose track of time. It's just that an interruption, like my partner wanting to know what I'd like for dinner, can throw me off and I'll lose interest. In fact, I only just got to watch this video because I've been procrastinating doing anything. I sew, I make beaded jewelry, and I attempt to make videos. I say "attempt" because the last video I released on my channel was about 9 months ago.
Last year I was finally diagnosed with ADHD. I'm 69 and it explained a lot of things in my life.
Recently I've been working on a pair of 18the century stays. I was almost finished with them. But then Imposter Syndrome took over and now it's laying on my sewing table waiting for me to finish it so I can start the Angelica gown (from Scroop Patterns & Virgil's Fine Goods) I kind of need the stays in order to wera the gown. So, instead of finishing them, I decided to go through and catalogue all my beads. The bead company I get my supplies from has a bead box subscription they send out every month. In the boxes are 3 kits complete with patterns, beads, and beading supplies. I've subscribed to this for 4 years and I'm starting (starting?!?) to think I have too many. Four years of boxes means a crapload of beads. My work table is covered with bead boxes full of beads. And my sewing table is not much better. I want to do all the things, but then something suffers and WIP projects become UFOs. A dress I made 6 years ago is just waiting for hem. I've haven't finished it because It also needs to be taken in because I lost some weight. My niece, who also sews, helped me figure out now much to take it in, but then some of the pins came out and she moved out of state, so it just hangs in my closet. I need to get my stays finished. But I will take care of them tomorrow because it's 2:30 in the morning and I need to get some sleep.
Ooof, the ever-growing UFO pile. I am absolutely positive that you're not alone in this one, if that's any comfort. Although I admit, that sounds like a lot of beads, but ya know what... that also sounds like so many pretty little glass baubles to look at and display and play with. I hope you reach harmony with what to do with them! And also with your stays!
I say Practice makes Practiced. That means maybe things get a little 'better; or maybe it means they get easier or faster. Maybe it means you find a lightbulb moment of understanding on something that had eluded you... you may not yet have mastered it, but that understanding makes a great step.
Ooooh, I like that expression, very nice!!
For me, it is color and fit. I want my best colors and an easily coordinated wardrobe. I am not close to standard shape and always had to shape off the rack clothes.
Add in a commitment to using natural fabrics so I can eventually compost them.
Institutional malice is serious! I find it in my home repairs too!
I learned sewing from my mom before grade school. Then work children husband and sewing set aside for 30 years. I am relearning.
Most of my slowness has to do with thrifting instead of new. Matching patterns to existing fabric.
Somewhere along the line I came across the concept "It's not a mistake! It's an opportunity for embellishment!". WHAT A GAME CHANGER. Those knee pants that are too tight in the legs and 4 inches too short at the waistline? Some contrasting fabric strips plus piping down the side of each leg and one added waist yoke later, I had a far superior looking pair of knee pants than I had originally planned. Sleeves too short? Fancy trim or lace insertions added! Body too tight? more contrasting fabric and piping! The possibilities are endless and made sewing much less fraught for me. The other game changer is the concept PIECING IS OKAY. You only * think * you don't have enough for that train. Piece enough scraps together at the bottom and suddenly you do! And I'm more concerned about somebody stepping on that train that looking at how many seams it has. 😁
Love this, and also, I feel like you'll jive with with Kristine Vike's content, she does lots of creative patching (maybe a bit more on IG than on YT, but still, lots of fun content there you might enjoy)!
I’m already subscribed to her! She’s awesome.
I don't know how I came across your channel but I find it fascinating just listening to you. I have to admit, I have zero interest in historical clothing. I'm a self taught scrap quilter, and perfectionism is NOT my way of doing things. I LOVED the videos on your scavenging for recycling, and redoing your sewing room & greenhouse. I also love the bits about your circus performing. All that having been said, I'll probably repeatedly watch your videos that I AM interested in cause I LOVE listening to you.
I love that, thank you! 🫶🫶
Reframing works very well for my neuroatypical self. My personal sewing 'frames' is "Good enough for it's purpose" and "Everything has some use". I was sewing a long blouse that I was having doubts about the fitting on, and decided that if I did not like it as a blouse when it was finished I would simply use it as pretty wintertime pyjamas. Motivation enough to continue, and now I have a 'good enough' blouse.
But reframing takes practice to learn if you are not used to it, and many of us perfectionists tend to be new to the idea. Beating perfectionism in sewing turns into learning a new skill; and thus again being stalled by perfectionism 🤡🧠For my past self and other people like me, searching out very specific have you tried 'xyz' for specific problems will probably work best here and now. Long term solution for that level of perfectionism; learning reframing. Outside help, aka therapy, helps. Easy concept, fairly hard to actually start doing.
I want my garments to be wearable, I want them to hold up for a few years, and I want them to look comparable to off-the-rack. (That is, my garment will be unique, but I don't want it to look sloppy.) After that, I remind myself, "nobody can see that from the back of a galloping horse!" Another phrase I've heard is, "...from a *polite* distance."
Remember that nobody else will be looking at it as closely as you are when you're working on it. Step away for a few minutes, then try looking at the garment from across the room, or from a few feet away. Many mistakes will not stand out when you're wearing the garment or using the item.
"from a *polite* distance* is such a good expression. And if they don't respect that distance, and get close enough to point out any flaws.... well, you know what that means? They're well within reach of my boot up their derriere. I do love the idea of distance, whether it's literal or a bit more metaphorical in the sense of taking a break and coming back to it later in a few hours/days/weeks!
I’ve been sewing for fifty years now. I still make mistakes and have to seam rip or even have to find more fabric and start over. It’s okay. I only need to please myself.
💪💪💪 love this!!
As a neurospicy person who is a therapist irl and a hobby sewist (who has difficulty starting and finishing projects due to a brain that defaults to perfectionism) I greatly appreciate this discussion!! I think the best thing I ever learned was 50% or even 10% is better than 0
Thanks! And definitely, tiny chunks, little bites of the task… even a few minutes done is progress!
I think i have the perfectionist monster somewhat on lock down. I applaud you tubers that put their creative journeys out into the world. Can't be easy to be judged by people with varying degrees of grace. I suspect that pressure leads to a few dead channels. Thanks for kicking off this discussion!
Thank you 🫶 And you are correct, I know quite a few people who have stopped uploading completely, stopped posting altogether, and in some cases even stopped sewing because of the nastiness they experienced online. I find it doesn't bother me personally because I look at it as a reflection on the person leaving the comment far more than on my actual work, but that still doesn't make a nasty comment OK or fun to read.
This is such an excellent topic ❤ I have been battling perfectionism in my every day life for the past decade but never thought about how it applies to new hobbies. I've been sewing since I was a child, so perfectionism rarely keeps me from projects, but I've wanted to garden for so long and have been so afraid of all my plants dying that I've only made small attempts. I had this mindset of "I either have a green thumb and everything will grow perfectly or I have a brown thumb and will never have the garden of my dreams" and a friend who is a terrific gardener has been encouraging me to just go for it and learn from my mistakes. Why is it so hard, even when we've been practicing overcoming perfectionism for so long, to get past this all or nothing mindset???
This is a really great message for me to hear today. I bought some beautiful silk 2 years ago from C&M textiles Anniversary sale. Even their sale prices on silk is expensive. I’ve been paralyzed by the fear that I will wreck it and the silk will be too slippery and the stitches will slip and on and on. But what good is all that beautiful silk for if I’m not wearing it. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Thank you for this! So many great points!
You're very welcome, and you got this! 💪
I appreciate you taking the time to say this. You could have very easily felt it wasn't your problem and kept doing your thing, so this says a lot about who you are. This has been a struggle in all areas of my life for at least 3/4 of my life. lol
The best advice I've heard is "it doesn't have to be perfect to be awesome."
Ooooh, so good and so true!
I laughed out loud at “the ultimate straight jacket”. I have very strong *opinions* on public education and college, but I won’t rant here. It is long and involved and needs more than a single cup of tea. “Recovering Perfectionist” I’m 100% going to use this from now on. Also didn’t realize what a perfectionist I was until you started your list 😅. My current dilemma with time (and the inevitably of never having enough) means I’ve decided to limit my hobbies until I get through my certification. As much as I’d love to be working on all the things, the reality is I don’t have the spoons to juggle work, class, and the prep for 3 (maybe 4, hopefully not) weddings…even if I feel guilty my work table has turned into a catch all. Thank you for sharing ❤
ahh yes, the struggle of the growing list of projects to work on versus the actual time we have to work on them in. Better to put your energy where it's needed now - your certification - because those projects will still be there once you've finished with it!
Really love all you had to say here.
As a costumer for amateur theatre, perfectionism gets broken out of you pretty fast, but I find I am constantly having to work against the perfectionism assumed by others. You are expected to be a 'perfectionist' because you make pretty things, and that is a not healthy. I am totally going to use your alternate term of 'excellence not perfection' for future conversations, because that is totally what I aim for!
Oh, what an interesting perspective that I don't think I've seen yet in the comments section. Thank you.
I started sewing again in 2020 and to build on my forgotten knowledge and improve my confidence I used a lot of old sheets and fabric I had lying around. I made things that didn't fit that well and/or were in a fabric that wasn't really appropriate but I learned things from my mistakes, including how to just let go on things that I didn't know how to fix yet, and then started buying cheap fabric online as I wasn't ready to splash out and couldn't go to any irl shops to feel things out. I'm still working through that stash and still unsure on the best fabrics to get for specific projects but I've gotten a lot better at putting aside the things I'm completely stuck on (bodice block and sleeves are in the cursed pile) and trying something else, maybe something easier.
I second the recommendation for Retro Claude's channel, and on the institutional/educational side of things I think that people like Abby and Nicole use their extensive knowledge to share rather than to gatekeep and then you get those who sew in chaos to balance the scales on how to enjoy the process (Rachel Maksy is queen). Another favourite is Mariah Pattie for her methodical approach to trial and error, and like this channel, really great editing. But in the end we all just have to find what works for us right?
A very good talk and a helpful reminder to a woman who has sewn 100s of things for others and is now learning to sew for herself. Now I'm ready to cutout that plaid jacket.
I have a plaid jacket in the docket too!! ♥️💙💜
Neurodivergent prefefctionist in recovery here. I found that brainstorming aloud to a relative or a friend (or even just my stuffed animals really) when I am stuck on a project really helps me reframe the issue and gives me just the right amount of extenral vaidation I need to start working on the project again. I am not one to try things out of my comfort zone easily and I will stick to the method I know for everything, just dapting the garment. I really helps me to keep my confidence in myself and not get utterly stuck in fear of failure at *sewing hooks and eyes on the placket* (I used buttons and it works all the same). I am also working on my irrational fear of cutting fabric by making mockups out of moth-eaten bedsheets and it did help a lot. I am still scared to cut into the nice fabric but much more confident the result will actually fit me.and finally, the good, better best system wroks very well for me. I set my minimum expectations of finishing the garment and then I have a plan of what improvements I can make in the future, esecially after wearing it a few times. Maybe It will take me two years to properly finish a simple skirt, but I will be able to wear it in the meantime.
All of this doesn't mean I dont' get stuck tough, and I still haven't started on a project I dream of, but for these instances I have smaller, easier projects in my comfort zone to work on so i keep sewing despite my prefectionism. And these allow me to take breaks when I get overwhelmed by the Big Project and I can find pleasure in sewing again.
Very fun technique (especially the stuffed animals). And honestly, adapting the same pattern over and over is something I'm very passionate about --even though the CZcams/social media content machine kinda discourage it-- and that I am working on a video about, because it can be great for so many reasons, allowing ppl to stay in their comfort zone for 95% of the project, and just make small alterations to the pattern for the other 5% (or 10% or whatever, depending on how adventurous you're feeling). So I really think that your technique is fantastic!
@@ShannonMakesI am seeing your answer months later (thanks youtube notifications) and I'm proud to report I am doing good progress in my prefectionism issues. Now my sewing motto are "good enough" and "as long as it's on the inside"
yea, YT notifications are notoriously hit-or-miss... but I'm thrilled to hear you're making progress and you've developed some good mottos to help guide/rein in those perfectionist tendancies!!
I was distractedly trying to sew a cuff in a coat that was confounding me, even tho I had already done one correctly. I simply could not visualize how it was supposed to come together, I sewed in wrong twice and decided to walk away. It made a huge difference and I finally got it.
I watched snappy dragons video and it struck me that if they had sergers in 1890 they would have used them. The didn’t generally eschew time saving tech.
Exactly! No time to be pfaffing around with fiddly stitches purely for the ✨aesthetics✨!!
Thank you! I *need* reminders like this every so often, perfectionism stops me finishing (and starting) so many different projects
You are so welcome! I hope it's motivated you to tackle something you'd been procrastinating!
This arrived just in time to remind me that I actually used to do this for FUN! It's supposed to be fun for me! Why did I ruin it by setting impossible goals for myself that no one is even going to measure?? 😂 Back to having FUN!
🎉 FUN! 🎉 Sometimes it's good to remind ourselves why we got into all this!
When I was younger I was always disappointed in myself if I wasn't good at something right away. I wasn't competitive against other people, but I always struggled against myself. I don't know how it works for other people but I had to experience a lot of "failure" to learn to anticipate and accept it as a natural part of skill development. And while skills take practice to develop, it's a never ending staircase where each step has value. Also, info gathering is a huge part of my ADHD brain process so I watch a ridiculous number of sewists on CZcams. That's taught me that there isn't just one correct way to sew, you have to discover a process that works for you.
Thank you so much for that video.
I usually watch videos on sewing projects for inspiration and getting to know new techniques or tools. If I think some idea fits my style of sewing, I'll try it, if it works for me, I'll keep it.
I've been sewing since, um, forever? (But with long periods where I didn't sew anything because of other priorities.) At first simple clothes for dolls by hand with my neighbor, who was like an aunt for me, later on I asked her to show me how to use a machine. After that, I inspected how my clothes were sewn and used that as inspiration, read some sewing magazines, but only used a real pattern once for a bodice with princess seams. (And I used patterns for the kites I've build, as these need to be as accurate as possible.) For all other "patterns" I maybe sketched them on paper, but then drawed them directly onto the fabric. Mock-ups? Never did one. (But I plan to do one for a tight fitting bodice, for which I want to draw the pattern myself, the available ones are not what I want.)
And yet, almost every time I wore some self made garment, I only got compliments. Nobody notices the "happy little accidents". But please do not look on the inside. And sometimes, when I make historical clothing, I do not care that much about perfect accuracy, I hate sewing by hand, so I use my machine, I need pockets, so the medieval tunic gets huge pockets. I'm not making these clothes for display or education, but for myself and for fun. Which reminds me to stop watching videos and start with my next project...
Love this! Every garment should have pockets, if desired... historical accuracy be damned!
This is good. I was cutting some fabric for a house dress, and for some reason I decided my gathered skirt should be a 1/2 circle skirt. I'm not small so a 1/2 circle skirt takes up a lot if fabric. I cut out half and then immediately realized, I made a mistake.😂😂 I panicked for like ten minutes, then I stitched the fabric back together. Cut it how I was supposed, and decided this was gonna be a dress for the garden. That dress looks awful, but I'm not wasting the fabric. It's far from perfect, but I feel like I'm going to get tons of use out of it, because it so wrecked. That's kind of the point, though because it was a house dress and the only one's to see it are my neighbors, and the cats. I think if I wanted to strive for making a perfect dress every single time, I would have scrapped the dress.
I think you touched on a SUPER interesting point, and something I've thought about a lot, about how the projects that we put less emphasis or importance on (or the ones with cheaper/"ugly" fabric, or the ones we mess up on) are often the ones that we get the most wear out of because we're not scared to wear them! Who cares if they get a little mussed up when we wear them, whereas the things we spend so much time on, or use the "good" fabric for, can often sit neglected in our wardrobe because we're almost scared to wear them... thank you for reminding me of that!!
I’m Danish (and autistic) and we have a saying in Denmark: “You don’t see it, when the music’s playing” - meaning that most things a creator sees as flaws in their work, other people won’t even notice.
Wow, what a wonderful video! Thank You!!!
I have found that the mistakes I make are only seen by me. Especially in sewing! So few people sew they don’t even know what they are seeing. Creative problem solving is the human way. Go for it!! There is no absolute right way to do something. I did wood crafts for many years. There were so many failures!! I kept them and a few times a year I hauled them outside to the fire pit, grabbed an adult beverage and had a “Failure Fire”. It was incredibly cathartic. Now that might not be a good idea with sewing but it did help me deal with the inevitable fails. If you dont have failures or make mistakes, you are probably not sewing up to your potential. If you expect perfection you will always be disappointed. Give yourself a healthy helping of Grace. And remember……press as you go and an excellent job of ironing can hide many technical flaws!
love the thought of burning your failures, that so fun!!
@@ShannonMakes I lived in a rural area where fire pits were legal. Not sure how you could have failure fires in the city!!!
We all make mistakes and when we figure out a solution, it's the best feeling. And the .ore mistakes we make, the more we learn about what we are doing, how we are doing it and how to improve. .It's the journey not the destination so enjoy the trip.
I didn't see this video when it came out, but that's good because now was perfect timing to watch it, so thank you! 😊
I went to design school and I loved it, but I also regret the element of uniformity that it imposed on me.
Also, I've never personally heard anything but good vibes about self-sewn garments; most people are just so thrilled that you do it yourself, but I will sit there and break down all of the imperfections myself. Fellow sewists will offer criticism, but it usually feels constructive... I've had many a discussion with strangers in my local joAnn 😂
I'm usually not too bad, but I recently had to sew quickly for a (fussy) historical event. I chanted "done is better than perfect" as I machine sewed the hem which helped a lot
YESSSS, way to go!!
On point thank you for this. I use a phrase from a Leonard Cohen song to steer myself away from getting hung up on some little detail... like an imperfect buttonhole.
"There is a crack in everything, it's how the light get in."
Ooof, love that! Hits close to home too, literally, since I'm filming from Montreal!
I'm 2 hours away from wonderful Montreal and Leonard has been my inspiration 1969 or so.@@ShannonMakes
Full disclosure, at 21:18 when you said theres a balance of knowing yourself I had to put the phone down and go scream (positive) for a few minutes. And it took me 3 tries to finish the rest 😭😂 feelings are hard.
I've made it a point, when I give lessons, to work on deconstruction of perfection and to embrace the flaws in our work. To reward both problem solving as well as for asking for help when you feel stuck, and gently redirect negative views to more constructive ones
I do think that a lot of our ideas of "perfection" come from industrialization, as well as a few other places such as social expectations, the rat race, and lingering trauma that weave a complex web of demand avoidance and internalized impossibly high expectations. And that a lot of our healing when it comes to perfectionism is rooted in the deconstruction of trauma, whether its personal or of society as a whole. And that busy hands leave our minds the space to work through those problems.
Or, that's just me, who uses their craft to facilitate that healing.
And I do realize that your vid was, as usual, posted at the exact time I needed to see it 💕 I'm stuck in my corset project still, because Im waffling about materials, what would be feasible and what isn't. When, in reality, I have everything I really need and I'm just losing myself in my expectations again. That I have the skill (and ✨spite✨) to make what I have work, I just have to stop tying myself up and do it. It won't be the last corset I ever make, so there's always room to use the materials I want.
♥️💙💜💚🧡💛
6:15 - I've been honing my block pattern for almost a decade....not to remove every wrinkle....but to make a jumpsuit that allows FULL RANGE movement in the garment with the least amount of bulk.
Because of my desire to perfect this aspect in my garments, I have discovered how to draft the crotch and underarms so that they extend and form what would be a gusset (without a gussett.)
The drafting and redrafting process has taught me SO MUCH about crafting garments that are 3 dimensional in nature.
I only made one muslin of a formfitting jumpsuit (with enough ease for movement) to get a basic block.... and I've made several jumpsuits (some multi layered and quilted for winter that require grading the layers) equipped with pockets and extras (making minute changes in the cut of each garment)
Some of the garments take 70 hours to complete and without the perfection of a basic block (that I know allows movement without bulk) the garments I have wouldn't be _functional!_
My sewing skills are adequate... but pattern drafting is where my talent is.
I've had to learn to slow down and focus on the details of sewing....because I used to be in such a hurry to test my draft that the final product didn't look as good on the inside as the outside.
Now my garments look good inside and out, but I admire women who's sewing skills are impeccable.
I'm the opposite. My sewing has improved considerably, but I cannot draft a pattern block to save myself 😂
@JoMomma that's so funny, I just finished my own jumpsuit, and using a pattern that I always go to expressly because it does have a lot of range of movement built into it!! Sounds like you should team up with fellow commenter below who has good sewing, but can't draft !
I mostly sew quilts since garments intimidate me. But still I made a wonderful PJ Thought, that nobody is going to see it , so it would not matter if it's not that good. But I have it since 10 years, wear it all winter long, even took it to the hospital once and started visible mending on it. So it just exceeded my expectations since they were low enough 😅