6 Signs Of People Who Have Been Abused
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- čas přidán 30. 05. 2024
- Have you been in an abusive environment growing up or an abusive relationship? Even if they aren't physically violent with you, they could still be abusing you through gaslighting, emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, verbal abuse, psychological abuse, and more. Sometimes what we experience in a toxic relationship can cause us to develop unhealed trauma or CPTSD. To help you be more aware of these psychological scars, we made this video on the signs of people who might have been abused.
Disclaimer: Please do not use this article as a way to diagnose others. This article is for educational purposes.
If you relate to this video, we have also left a list of hotlines below you or a loved one can use to seek help for abuse.
Resources:
National Child Abuse Hotline (US and Canada): 800-4-A-CHILD (800-422-4453)
National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (800-799-7233)
TTY: 800-787-3224
Video Phone for Deaf Callers: 206-518-9361
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255)
TTY: 800-799-4TTY (800-799-4889)
Crisis Text Line: Text HELLO to 741741 (US and Canada) or 85258 (UK)
National Runaway Switchboard: 800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929)
Writer: Sara Del Villar
Script Editor: Morgan Franz
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Riva Ceres Laoreno
( bushybrows_art)
CZcams Manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
pastebin.com/Dk0UHBD5
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If you have any topic requests or stories to share with us, feel free to email us at editorial@psych2go.net
Just because you weren't physically abused doesn't mean you were not abused
That's very true! I have mostly been hurt abusive by myself. I haven't been really abused from others because sometimes I fealt as if I was a ghost, a spirit, a phantom nobody sees. And so I am lonely. But even if that is very upsetting to hear, my mindset has gotten better and so far I'm trying to fix it! Abuse can be from many different things and come in different forms! :D
@@somedude2384 You could look up emotional or childhood neglect and see if it applies to your life. I hope you find ways to connect with people.
@@somedude2384 I saw a good video by Kati Morton today on Childhood Emotional Neglect, or CEN. She recommends books at the end.
Only issue is it’s pretty hard to prove the abuse if it’s not physical so helps a few dozen times harder
I recently had a fight with my cousin because she didn't believe me when i said i was abused by her mother. She doubted and said how could i call her mom my abuser if i wasn't physically abused. I hated her so much when she said that, how can she be so ignorant and mean? She saw for herself how badly i was being treated by her mom and i even go to therapy sessions because anxiety and depressive moods are not desirable for anyone??? Besides, my aunt has been manipulating me since i was a little girl and until now i still doubt if whatever she did i deserved it. I hate when people could be so stupid and naive.
The worst part is when I say "I have been abused"
But then they say "Well I don't see scars on your arms or legs" Yeah, but I have scars in my heart.
yes
scars on your body can heal
scars in your heart can't heal
I always tell myself I THINK I WAS ABUSED
Those are comments from ignorant people! The scars on your heart are something most people don't see and don't understand😭😭😭😭😭 Just know that you're not alone and there are other people to talk to. Therapist, groups, etc. Take care of yourself♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Yes me too
I'm very scared on my heart like it seriously just hurts because I'm forced to see the people that hurt me...
a lyric from Bite The Pain by the band Death: look down at the body/you may see no trace of wounds/ yet in the eye, the eye of the beholder/one cannot assume/not a drop of blood is drawn but you know how it bleeds/beware of the sharp-edged weapon callen human being
i listen to this song all the time and it describes what my parents do to me and how i perceive it
For people who need this:
Moving on, ISNT the same as forgiving the abuser. If they are trying to become a better person, good on them, but that doesn’t invalidate YOUR feelings, YOUR experiences.
Acknowledge it and move on, but you shouldn’t apologize if you haven’t done anything wrong/don’t want to
but what if they aren't changing? what if i keep forgiving them after everything they've done and they make no effort to do better? idk if i should forgive that.
@@justsomegirllivinginpain2829 it’s honestly your choice, but imo you should just let them go. If they accept (or dont’ that they hurt you but don’t do anything to change themselves or at least make a meaningful apology, they don’t really care
@@lilmao4482 oh ok thank you. i guess my father doesn't care then. kinda already knew, but hoped maybe he cares about me a little
@@justsomegirllivinginpain2829 damn. I recommend you see a therapist, or if one of your friends are okay, then talk to them about the situation. I know how tough it is to deal with a grinding situation with your parent.
I have tricked people in the past who were cruel to prove they are still the same. hahahah
Iam 65, and iam still recovering from my childhood, still suffering from some of the obstacles that abuse causes, but proud to say I have faced many of them head on and beat them. Unfortunately there are millions out there just like me that don't have a clue on how dysfunctional they are. God bless everyone that have been abused and may they find the help and support they need.
🙏🙏
Me too, 😭
64 and just now trying to heal from a narcissistic single mother
her voice is so calm she could describe a murder scene in details and I’d still be calm
Honestly yeah me too
Same-
Haha ikr
...
Truer words were never spoken
I actually was abused. But i am no longer being abused. I am better now. I am happier too.
That's good :)
Happy for you 🥰❤❤❤
I feel a bit happier too. It's sad that were not alone, which means there are others being abused. But it's kinda a good thing because people can understand us and why we think like this
Happy for u ❤❤❤
Glad you are in a better place! What steps did you take to create those changes?
I was abused by my so called “friends” both verbally and emotionally. I was bullied. I haven’t realized that my current behavior might be because of them. I didn’t realize I was abused until I got better friends that genuinely cared about me and were nice to me.
i felt like that
Never trust anyone. That's what life taught me.
@@nevaehhamilton3493 that would be a very boring life, imo i trust a number of people and if that trust is broken then don’t give them a second chance.
@@clava7851 paranoia is better than heartbreak
Same
Those nights of trying to sleep through my parents giving death threats to each other, calling police on my father after my mom's mouth was bleeding when I was 10, even after sticking with my mom i still got emotionally abused by her. I have never shared it to anyone after it occurred, feels new doing it. To anyone who has experienced abuse, I send you strength and a hug, I'm proud of you for being here. ❤
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm so happy for you to keep being strong. you're amazing you know 💯💯💯
1) You have feelings of insufficiency
2) You have flashbacks
3) You struggle with cognative Dissonance
4) You feel numb to your emotions (De-personalization disorder)
5) You struggle with emotional detachment
6) You have a habit of over-apologizing
Well fuck... My family is abusive
I have almost all of these...yet my family isn't abusive,And I've never been in an abusive relationship?
@@mariaaiutacitu8608 manipulative "friends"?
@@meganhoward8820 uh i don't think,but how would I know if my friends are manipulative? Is there a way i can know?
Thanks 😀
"Why are you crying? Stop crying when I yell at you!"
" Why are you smiling? You think me yelling at you is a joke?"
I hate those words with every bone in my body"
Why is this so relatable...
So true 😔
You are brave and incredible strong! You are worthy of love and empathy. You are enough just by being here, you do not have to prove your worth to anyone.
So relatable!
When I got spanked it was Ill give you something to cry about! Gets out belt and proceeds to whip me with belt. I feel like im literally going to die and then learn what it really feels like to cry.
I'm a sexual assault survivor during the end of a marriage. This video is accurate. I'm a survivor but barely surviving.
Thank you for posting.
late but im so sorry that happened. you never deserved it. you’re strong for holding on through that, im so proud of you,
Emotional detachment can be a gift. It’s helped me deal
with a lot of stuff and issues over the years.
It does feel better but now that I started to want my emotions to back it hit hard.
At first worked fine, but later you will miss so much feeling alive
@@jorgegodoy6824 it breaks through when you have your own kids and grandkids. I can emotionally detach as needed.
1. You have feelings of insufficiency
2. You have flashbacks
3. You struggle with cognitive dissonance
4. You feel numb to your emotions
5. You struggle with emotional detachment
6. You have a habit of over-apologizing
Thanks :D
Thx :) 🌸
4 & 5..
Literally me
Oop I been over apologize sorry y’all and flashbacks of my friend hitting me
What makes it worse is when they say “it’s in the past”, and “you have to forgive”
Yeah I’ve forgiven them several times but it still kept happening.
And they have the audacity to not even acknowledge that they did anything wrong
@@jfairman hella frick yeah
Never have I seen anything more beautiful
Omg my parents are the same... It's hard to turn the page when they act like nothing happened and/or they just did the best they could and are not sorry for what happened :(
you always should forgive, but never forget. guard your heart until you know someone and use them as an anchor to help you form other relationships. if they dont work out, you will always have someone to care for you that you trust. try to go to churches or meet people that go to church. even if you arent religious, people are very trust worthy there. once you have your person, try to open up and surround yourself with good people. so many people in this world will help you when you need it.
obviously, you are your own person, and you do not need to listen to me at all. i just help where i can, and try where i cant.
If it helps your decisions about these relationships, they will never change or acknowledge what they did. And it's not your responsibility to educate them or wait patiently for them to change. Or rescue them in any way.
Heard that
All of it. I was diagnosed with "a form of PTSD" a few years ago, due to constant bullying by many people all through school (every day, all day long; and even on weekends and holidays, because some of the worst offenders lived in my neighborhood). It was also caused by being married for 15 years to a narcissist who abused me. I've been separated from him since 2016, divorced since late 2018, and have yet to start trying to date again. My self esteem has been in the toilet since the 80s. 😔 😭
So are my relationships are toxic when I started 7th grade. And I'm struggling to start a successful friendship
@@guest19901990 Hugs. I have the same problem with friends. If they aren't just using me, they end up ditching me.
I was abused by a lot of people, including my parents and my ex husband. The ex husband played with my mind and I feel frightened of social situations and have no interests in hobbies.
Being abused physically and verbally throughout my childhood, being an outcast at school and never having confidence, gave me extreme social anxiety and an absolute introvert. Even at 23 now it's hard for me to trust anyone, let alone feel comfortable enough to share any kind of personal subjects. I've been called too shy, too quiet, etc. If only people knew. If only people wouldn't be so quick to judge
Jesus knows the depth of your pain. Nothing is hidden from Him. He wants to heal you and restore you. He loves you so much He died for you.
keep trying. you are on the right path.
Everything you said I felt 100! I so get you.
I totally get you...I went through the same except the school part😓
Still - But he didn't stay dead.
1:03 feelings of insufficiency
1:54 u have flashbacks
3:33 u suffer cognitive disonance
4:21 u feel numb to ur emotions
5:28 emotional detachment
6:19 u apologize too much
Thank you :)
Thank you SO much!! ❤🤗❤
thank you !!
Thx so much for nutshellig this for me.B/c it's too painful emotionally to listen to this to the end.
Cognitive dissonance is at 3:33
@@ifiwsaflowridbearose corrected. Thnx
For me the physical abuse as a child was by far the worst abuse that I went through. It still haunts me to this day, 60 years later.
Me too. My canadian bully kicked me in the leg that actually scarred my leg but didn't break it still hurts me to this day. And the fact he doesn't regret it
❤ my heart goes out to everyone who's ever been abused 🥺❤
@Puppy cute why don't you stand up for yourself
Sadly there is some forms of abuse that permanently break a little child .
True and that makes a broken adult. And get over it is one of the cruelest things that can be said to a mentally and physically abused person! Schools need to have training to spot abuse and teach children how to cope to heal them selves and awaken the abuser without endangering the child. Then the abuse cycle might be changed. Personal responsibility in this for everyone can not be overlooked.🌹
🌹
Amen
@@beverlyfleming6352 I was more abused later in life at work than anywhere else.
@@towaritch I understand truly. Funny how we can be spotted by abusers. But remember you get your piece from a enlightened joy that can not be torn from you. The abusers have let theirs go dormant and are jealous when they see it in you. When I learned this I get a sad stare in my eyes for them. And feel sad for awhile because I see they get joy from hurting others. They are in pain and want you to hurt us so they feel better. But I’m still learning to try and keep my joy it can be hard. But try ,then we get more good days than bad. Look up Narcissism learn how to keep yourself from being hurt by them. I hope you are going to feel better soon. Do not get pulled into what you learn. Please keep that natural enlightened joy in your heart it is the most important thing for striving for a peaceful happy life. It’s a daily thing. More good days than bad.🌹
I started realizing how abusive my mother was after meeting my girlfriend. I had someone intimate in my life who made me feel like I was worth something. It was so rare to be complimented and told I was valuable. I slowly realized that a girl I'd known for a year valued me more than my own mother did. Her abuse got worse as I became more independent, throwing temper tantrums over tiny things. I know my mother has NPD and she's very sick, but I'm not a doctor and it's not my job to fix her.
Thank goodness you found someone who sees your worth and treats you with respect.
It's all too easy to continue the pattern from childhood and unwittingly seek out friends/romantic partners who will continue that abuse or dysfunctional behaviour.
I hope what your girlfriend is teaching you will help you fill your life with more healthy relationships and people who are worthy of you.
AMEN
Your right, bud... it's NOT your job to fix her. Just like it wasn't my job to fix my father. Stay strong- you've got this!!
@@jfairman god damnit
make sure your mom doesn’t hurt your girlfriend. jealous MILs can say things that will damage your gf.
I knew my relationship with my parents was bad but now that I actually pay attention to there actions I know it’s actually abuse I haven’t cried this hard in a while
My experience being physically, emotionally, and mentally abused by my mom for the first 2.5 decades of my life before I cut ties.
While being beaten as a young child: "Stop crying! I didn't raise no damned cry baby! I'll give you something to cry about!"
While being beaten as a teenager: "Stop laughing!" (Proceeds to beat harder then starts choking me and slamming my head into a wall. Pins my head to the floor with her knee in the back of my neck as she punches me in the back.)
At age 18: (She goes to hit me and I stand up to her with my fist raised. She never hits me again but continues to berate and belittle me.)
At age 25: (Injured while in the military, no longer deployable and forced to be discharged.) "You will never have another good job like that."
At age 28 prescribed meds to help overcome the complex post-traumatic stress disorder and borderline personality disorder, which caused tremendous weight gain, adding to my depressive states: "Your husband is going to leave you because you're fat. No one will ever love you again."
That was the last thing she said to me.
I proceeded to push my husband away in an attempt to leave him before he could leave me. Instead, he helped me to deal with my demons and now we're stronger than ever.
I had a similar "upbringing" with a covert narc mother and I didn't just raise my fist at her, I punched her in the stomach. Of course she told everyone I "beat her up" and slandered me about this for decades before I even knew what was going on. Turned everyone against me because I allowed her to provoke me into losing my temper and taking the bait. Of course none of the evil, abusive and neglectful BS she did to me was ever mentioned to these dupes who believed her lies and slander about me, never even knowing who I truly am. I've been no contact with the entire brood of hateful, unthinking vipers since 2014.
Virtual hug for you 😭🫂 you didn't deserve any of that. You deserve a lot of good things in life. I hope you can feel better.
Yeah, both of my parents were like this. Not necessarily physical like that, but definitely was rough. More on the side of emotional abuse.
I literally apologize for apologizing, and I’m constantly asking why I’m apologizing and I don’t even know, or I’ll apologize and say “It’s not like it’s your fault.”
Yep and I feel guilty constantly! When ever anything goes wrong I somehow feel it's my fault. Totally bananas but I can't seem to help it.
Same girl same.
All of us here seem to echo that
...Felt.
I understand you completely, I also struggle with that and you can actually help it a bit by changing apologizing to thanking, e.g. instead of saying "I'm sorry I'm late again", say "thank you for waiting for me", instead of "I'm sorry you have to explain this to me over and over again" say "thank you for your patience" etc
Imagine being on ADHD medication for two years only to discover that you were not born with focus problems but grew up in horrifically abusive environment and your present day symptoms are a result of triggers you didn't even know you had. PTSD is a terrible curse.
Me
I’m afraid this is me
@@corinnegibson7804 We are alot of people like this inclusive me.
Yes! I started having seizures and was medicated for 5 years. That started after the abuse. GO figure
@@corinnegibson7804 nooo. You are going to thrive and not let that define you! I fought hard to not let thAt destroy me. You can overcome this.
As someone who was mentally, physically and verbally abused by his dad I can tell the following:
1. Low self confidence
2. Over apologetic
3. No control over emotions
4. No courage to face problems
5. Depression and anxiety at peak
6. Cant socialise or make friends
7. Scared to argue or even stand up for themselves
8. Worse when you are made fun of your scars at school
9. Even harder for a guy
Finally I am at college and trying to improve everyday. Also the physical abuse was very harsh like having scars on my body for days and verbal abuse was like a mental torture to break me down mentally. Haven't spoken to dad for 2 years now and whenver I see him I ignore him. Definitely help would be appreciated 🙏
Also Its so hard to manup like this
Watching these usually make me cry. Not because I relate, but because I realize I didn’t deserve any of what happened to me. As hard as it is to live with these memories, I thank you so much for making me more aware and getting a better idea of how to help myself. Thank you so much.
Abuse is tricky. It's not just as simple as 'getting up and leaving' there are many soul ties and other factors that play a role in why people stay in these relationships.
Its tricky because the one who is allowing to be abused has very low self-esteem and lives in fear. That was me with my relationship. But I realized that I needed to save myself or my life would end. I somehow made a plan and got out.
@@pluutoop I'm glad you did. I got out of my 13 year marriage that became more abusive over the years. The freedom is so worth it!
@@miss.l.c.minister I'm reading some comments as yours.
I've seen some videos on CZcams about soulties that I found interesting.
You recommend to surch via Google >break ungodly soulties.
There are different websites, which site I can find ?
In my case, I wasn't allowed to have an ID card or any thing to show profe of age so I couln't leave even if I wanted to My sister tryed that and the police found her and called my father and stepmother to pick her up. She got a very suvear scolding for hours. They even treatend to have a steal collor with heavy heavy chain perminantly mounted on my neck to be sure I can't steel food from te kitchen. There were times I was locked in my room at night. When my mother heard about this years later, she wanted to kill my father and wished she could have done it sooner while we were still young. She woldn't care if she went to prisan for it, we would have been better off in a foster home back then.
@@wayneheidlebaugh9915 Aww you didn't deserve that :( . If you don't have anyone to talk to I'd reccomand that you find a good therapist to talk to. I wish you the best. 💖
I was physically, emotionally and mentally abused as a child. My behaviour made me behave distressed, low performance in school and low self-esteem. I tried telling somebody. I cried for help but instead I was labeled as mentally unstable and stupid. Took me over 40 years to overcome the trauma. I am now a Massage Therapist, holistic healer, and wrote a book. I still have flashbacks about the abuse and I know I will never heal fully but I've managed to be a decent human. Hope that if any of you been through it, have found peace and some happiness♡ Blessed be
Hello! How are you? If you need someone to listen, someone to talk to, or a friend. I am here to talk, listen, and be a friend. I hope you are safe and well. Know that you are amazing and have rights as a human. I am very sorry for anything that seems bad that may have happened in your life. I want you to know that you are incredible and are capable of wonders. What matters is your inside, not your exterior. Love yourself and cherish yourself. Words cannot explain how astonishing you are. You deserve care, love, and happiness, don't let anything make you feel otherwise. You may or you may not think that you are a failure but you are not, we are humans and we are bound to make mistakes so failures will come but that will give you the prize of what you have learned. Even if it may be a very small prize, it is very significant and important because you are amazing and deserving to learn and grow just as everyone else is. Please have appropriate action for anything that you know is wrong. Try and find professional or trusted help. Anything that seems bad or wrong in your life right now will get better. Please don't do what is wrong, fighting back and harming others will not solve the problem. Please understand that and do the good thing. It will one day come back to you. The people in the world are so much more than what we know about them, not everyone opens up about the beautiful things and acts they have witnessed, not all those amazing doings are acknowledged. There is more to people than it seems. Please understand that and know that. If you feel like no one cares about you, know that I care about you. Keep your head up high and never give up! Together, we can be a better community! Stay safe, healthy, happy, kind, understanding, positive and strong!
Good for you helping others to heal now. ❤️🙏🏽
Bless you 🥺❤️
I'm currently in a emotional abusive situation and have been since I was young. Starting in elementary school I got made fun of because of how weird I was and was also called stupid and mentally unstable. I haven't realized until now how that was my way of reaching out for help. I didn't know I wasn't the only one to be called that because of my situation, and I'm so sorry to read that happened to you. I'm so happy things had gotten better and I hope life treats you well
Understand. Your abusers are or were weaker then you. Stay strong.
I used to over-apologize. At school, I had terrible self-esteem. My inability to say no and my fear of conflict got to the point where the students started to take advantage of my kindness and use my good nature against me.
I was both physically and mentally abuse by my adoptive father,it hurts to think about even though I'm in therapy,and as a result I've been taken away as of a few months ago because it got so bad,I recently got diagnosed with severe PTSD, depression, anxiety,and many more.
just seeing this woman talk about topics like this in a calm manner makes me so happy,thank you
I'm so sorry! I was abused physically/mentally by my bio parents and then physically/sexually abused by my temporary caretaker. It got so bad all my underwear had holes, I would faint due to starvation, and couldn't even stand due to r@pe. It was so bad, police got involved, but unlike you, I was unlucky and was put back into severe abuse. I now have C-PTSD, and I know how hard it is, but I believe in you, you got this. At least you are safe now ❤️
I was a mentally abused child. My mother often said (screamed) “You’re no g-d-mned good and you never will will be!” I didn’t achieve any real self esteem until my late 50s. Better late than never, right? Despite my abusive upbringing I had a rewarding career as an auto mechanic, luxury vehicle modifier, and custom fire truck builder. I found joy in my work. Some would say I am a borderline workaholic, but I don’t see it that way. If anyone who was or is an abused child please understand, you can get over it. I even ended up writing a four book expose series about my time in American industry. Not bad for a high school underachiever ,eh?
Good for you! I’m in my 50’s also. Experienced a lot of abuse in my life. People don’t ever really understand unless they’ve gone through it. I get it. I’m really proud of you! Healing can come in many forms. My way of dealing for years was working. I’m much better now. I have boundaries now. I stand up for myself. I have a good life. But it took work to get to this point. I’m really happy for you and your healing and success!😊
@@laurieann906 ❤️ Thanx! At the risk of a shameless capitalist plug my book series is called “All in a DAZE work” (The decline and fall of the American work ethic) available on Amazon. Simply put in the title followed by the word book and you should find it.
@@recoveringnewyorker2243 well thank you for letting me know! I’ll check it out! And you’re very welcome 😊
@@laurieann906 If you can’t find it let me know. I’ll give you my real name. You’ll definitely find it then.
Ok thank you 😊 I’ll let you know if I am able to find it.
I’m a 61yr old woman. I was abused as a child but just discovered that my brothers and me suffered neglect also! Therapy is helping so much!
Hello! How are you? If you need someone to listen, someone to talk to, or a friend. I am here to talk, listen, and be a friend. I hope you are safe and well. Know that you are amazing and have rights as a human. I am very sorry for anything that seems bad that may have happened in your life. I want you to know that you are incredible and are capable of wonders. What matters is your inside, not your exterior. Love yourself and cherish yourself. Words cannot explain how astonishing you are. You deserve care, love, and happiness, don't let anything make you feel otherwise. You may or you may not think that you are a failure but you are not, we are humans and we are bound to make mistakes so failures will come but that will give you the prize of what you have learned. Even if it may be a very small prize, it is very significant and important because you are amazing and deserving to learn and grow just as everyone else is. Please have appropriate action for anything that you know is wrong. Try and find professional or trusted help. Anything that seems bad or wrong in your life right now will get better. Please don't do what is wrong, fighting back and harming others will not solve the problem. Please understand that and do the good thing. It will one day come back to you. The people in the world are so much more than what we know about them, not everyone opens up about the beautiful things and acts they have witnessed, not all those amazing doings are acknowledged. There is more to people than it seems. Please understand that and know that. If you feel like no one cares about you, know that I care about you. Keep your head up high and never give up! Together, we can be a better community! Stay safe, healthy, happy, kind, understanding, positive and strong!
That’s great! Therapy is the right choice in any situation where someone or someone you know that has been going through something that’s horrible in the present or past. I hope you get better soon! Have a wonderful day/night.
hello lori! I'm sad to hear your story but it's great you've been feeling better God bless you!
Where to get help n whom to contact
You should be able to get direction from your city government for mental health facilities available
Working out is often used as a example of activities to gain self esteem. But as a person that suffered from workout addiction + eating disorders, I'm too scared to work out again.if you suffer/suffered from the same addictions/disorders, you're not alone. but you are loved and valued
This video literally summed up what I had had been dealing with since I was 5 years-old. I'm 20 now and only now do I realize I was being verbally abused by my peers (low self-esteem fat kid here, I worked out to work on myself) in school and I should have trusted my parents for these situations, but truly trauma runs deep in me still today.
Not a day passes where I don't need to feel loved by someone else - currently, my family - or I have to use more energy than my body can store (I'm 6'1, so that's theoretically a lot of energy) to practice cognitive repairs onto myself. For the records, I don't even trust psychologists and meeting new people makes me more than just a little anxious... But keeping my head high has brought me to today and keeping it high will bring me to my future. I love myself now more than I have ever loved myself before, but somedays I still think, "It's not enough. People will see your flaws and you'll crumble under their pressure. Just you wait!" To which I have to then redirect the thought in a positive structure. Keeps me up at night, hell!
(Sorry, that was a long paragraph >
My abuser is so into one-upping me, they even give me the "Well, I was always treated worse, so you're fine."
Even if someone's pain is less painful, it is still valid
@@marthas.4456 I don't call these "parents" anymore; just breeders; that's what mine was; and they pass on the gift of abuse that was passed to them. The cycle needs to end; that's why we need sterilization.
So why are you still with him?? You must like playing is sick game. Get help kid.
@@Zamigirl Why are you assuming it's a boyfriend/girlfriend? Could be a parent or a sibling, and depending on their age they might not have the means to just move out.
Victim blaming doesn't make things better or make them more likely to seek help. That's just fueling their insecurity. Try to be kinder.
@@Zamigirl Friend, I think it's called TRAUMA BONDING that started WAY BEFORE adult hood, in childhood, that sets us up for abuse as adults with narcs. We have to be living in that trauma bonding environment to TRUELY UNDERSTAND when someone shares what is going on but remains in the abuse environment. Psychologist opened my eyes to this phenomenon; I think it is way under reported and understood.
Me: *relates to all these signs*
Also me: This is fine.
Me too
Same ;-;
Same here!
@ms. paulinedroomie time and effort and a good support system.
Each of these things can help heal different aspects of your pain.
And a professional can help you unravel the knots and identify negative thought patterns and destructive behaviours and help you replace them better coping mechanisms.
I'm 7 years free of him, and some of the wounds I will carry for life as scars, but they do not ache as they once did.
I am in the best mental health I have ever been, but it was a long hard road to get here.
But you can do it too.
Me too, sorry others feel this way too.
I was emotionally abused by parents, and by a psychologist in highschool. Some people believed me about my parents, no one believed me about the psychologist.
I've been abused over and over, I don't want to call a therapist, because what if there's not enough money in my inventory.
I can't get a therapist because I'm still living with my parents. I'd get even more abused if they found out I'm seeking help
@@iseeyou.9796 yeah, mostly parents are idiotic. Soon, we'll be free.
@@eljaminlatour6633 We just have to take it one day at a time. If you want to contact me I'm super active on Discord, I have a feeling you would like someone to talk to about this
@@iseeyou.9796 sure, do.
When your parents dont beleive in depression or mental illness so your friend and her parents secretly set you up with a therapist and you got diagnossed with depression, an anxiety disorder and you told your mom you joined a club after school but in reality your going to a therapist with your friend and her mom 😃👍
Parenting 2000.
@@Gfors85 yes I wish i could be adopted into my friends family they care about me more than my own family does👌
@@aoili8458 Everyone should have to get a license to be permitted to have children so people wont misstreat them but being good parents.
that is a GREAT friend! even tho i feel sorry about your parents i'm happy you're getting therapy
@@ilikebrownies5529 thank you she really is 😌
I hope this channel grows way more.
Agreed
Agree
Yet I hope the quality doesn't deteriorate, but improves even more...
Agreed ?
Thank you so much! Should. we do some milestones perks until we hit 100000000 subs?
I've physically and emotionally abused all my life . I only started understanding things during the pandemic lock down. For some people like me it has been a blessing in disguise. It gave me time to think and reboot my mind and see the monsters and the boogeyman was just people around you.
I grew up with my parents criticizing me all the time and making me feel like a problem. They also don't trust me about anything to this day.
As a result, I got groomed as a teen, which they're still in denial about. They told me this person wasn't coming onto me, that I was making it up. Even when the guy admitted to having a crush on me later on, they didn't take it seriously. I got into and hid the relationship from them (I was with him at age 20-21). The guy ended up being abusive. When my parents found out, they STILL thought I was being dramatic and told me to get over it.
Also, they wonder why I've gravitated towards older men (I don't as much lately tho).
People scare the living f*** out of me, I'll probably never have a healthy relationship again...
please try therapy if it's available to you! you deserve help!
If you are telling this to yourself, probably you never will have a good relationship. First try to believe you are a worthwhile and good person. Tell yourself every day, every hours. Don't be hard on yourself. Do you know the saying 'you have to love yourself to be able to love others'?
@@marthas.4456 sometimes it not you ... look at statistics.... we fall into believing its hard to find the rite partner becauses majority of people are socia media addicted individuals.... ever wonder women hit on you when your in a relationship or vice versa... so with social media it makes it that much easier to hide things and thus have your cake and eat it too ... im sorry ive dated multiple times ... and its too the point where i rather just be alone ... ppl come with baggage bullshit ... and now adays are more opportunistic..its not that i dont love my self or feel self worth ... or fall into negative thinkin paterns ... just the reality is if your not wealthy or have certain things ... ppl devalue you ... sooo i stay to myself till i find someone who really loves or appreciates me for me
Dammit me too
I also feel this way. My mom was the first person to start abusing me and she got the ready of my family and friends to do it as well. They probably think it is a joke but it is very hurtful to me. For example, I am constantly paranoid because everyone like scaring me because the think it is “funny”. My mom has made it so I cannot trust anyone and so I am constantly watching my back, afraid of what might happen.
Being abused is bad, no one should ever feel like that😔
question is, how can we prevent it from happening?
😢 Frrr
@@ghostofsilence2697 you have a big heart my friend for asking that question
If any of you don’t mind me sharing 6 years ago I was 12 an I was sexually abused by 2 people . and now 18. The situation’s may be over. But every day it’s still in my mind and memory. The emotions are also still there. Without going to in depth into my story. I just wanted to put this out there. Thank you.
I’ve been in a abusive relationship but as a male I’ve been told to suck it up
really related to the cognitive dissonance and the low self esteem part. my controlling father breaks my things, threatens to hit me (sometimes actually hits me), calls me worthless and a waste of space and then sometimes apologizes for it only to repeat it the next day. its so confusing how his mind works, one minute he's hot the next he's cold. his actions have affected me tremendously and i don't want to forgive him, i hope he suffers alone, no one else should be caught in his misery.
I've had a form of PTSD from abandonment issues from when I was a child, being raised by a single mother. I took it out on my previous relationship and I hurt my ex spiritually and mentally. I still love her, and I feel pain and regret everyday knowing that I hurt such a beautiful person. VERY difficult to forgive myself. And I haven't spoken to her in just over a year now.
I wish I could erase the board and just start all over again with her after I get some help and therapy for my past.
forgive yourself.. ask forgiveness from your ex.. how have you made her feel?.. hope better than how you were treated by your mother.. good luck.... 🤗💖🙏
“Please reach out to a licensed professional” I’m poor
Same 😭
Better help is affordable it's helping me out alot!
Thas’ exactly what I said too.
Reach out with what ?
I have some cool art supplies I could share 😒
Periodt😂😂😂😂😭💀
Ify 😭
My mother admitted to me I was never wanted and they tried to abort me twice. Why she resented me everyday of my life. With physical and mental abuse I’m the middle child. My biracial. My two sisters have white on their birth certificates. I have colored. My sisters never accepted or respected me. Thanks to my mother. Who told them they were superior to me. I’m in recovery today. Doing fine. Loving myself. My prayers to others. Still suffering
You were born for a purpose. If your mom didn't want you to be born, then apparently a higher power did. 🙏🙂
@L Garcia you think that because it makes you feel better. There is no god but our lives are still important.♥️✌🏻
You are powerful and inspiring. Wishing you the best
Omg you're mom is a psychopath..
♥️
Thank you, I was abused as a child then entered into adult abusive relationships. over 40 yrs of disfunction. Im my 50s Now trying to learn what is normal
“ God is close to the broken hearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit “Psalms34:18
Reach out to god threw prayer and reading his word the Bible because he deeply cares
he can help you find :
* 2 Corinthians 1:3
* Philippians 4:13
Psalms37:10,11
“ he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more neither will morning North outcry nor pain be anymore. The former thing have passed away “. Revelation 21:4
Thank you
Amen
I broke up with my ex because he was being abusive to me. it hurts a lot but everytime i feel sad, i remember a quote i read somewhere:
*"the woman you're becoming is gonna cost you relationships, material things, spaces and people. Choose her over everything."*
and then i also remember that i won.
YESS❤️ im so proud of u!
Aw nice quote. I got out of a bad relationship when physical abuse started and he was tryijg to get me fired from my job. So "he could take care of me"
@@g4tillo thank you, that means a lot to me 🤧🤧💜
@@hobokara69 omg, what a jerk. you made the best decision in your life by breaking up with him, he didn't deserve you!!!
Oh yes, you WON! This mindset is a strength, be proud of yourself everyday!
One of the first things that tipped off my friend's abuse was this time we met at a grocery store before going to hang out. We popped inside, and they had to get their mother a bottle of tea. The urgency with which they said it HAD to be unsweetened went way past the concern for their mother's diabetes, and looked more like fear.
Yes, it's tiny. You might think, "So what, she just wanted unsweet tea." But the little things matter when you're talking about abuse. My friend shouldnt be fucking scared of getting the wrong tea in case their mother blows the fuck up at them. And getting to know them since that point, I found out i was right, and it goes way, WAY past the stupid fucking tea.
If you get a sense that something just isnt right, or someone's word choice seems odd, or they look at someone just the wrong way, please dont ignore your intuition. Talk to them. Tell them you are safe and will listen, because God knows they need it.
Thank you for noticing. We need more people who do.
Beautifully written. Those eggshells are sharp as glass, and the thickness in the air is unbreathable....
You're so right and so wise. I wish others were as observant as you. The devil is in the details.
@@Megan6772 that's what I always think too, oftentimes I notice small things that others think are of no consequence, which makes me doubt myself (abuse victim), but later I find out the hard way I was right
@@mandyg9119 me too - in fact I had a similar concern once, only I forgot a loaf of bread and had to turnaround and walk back a mile to the store because I was afraid to go home without it.
I was a prolonged witnesser of physical, psychological and emotional abuse, I recently reached out to my parents about going to see a therapist, cause the feelings of burden, fear and guilt have made me transform into a completely different person when I’m around the abusers, aside from suffering from all that was said in the video
Just because you were not the direct victim, does not mean that you aren’t scarred as well.
". . .I just know that they'll end up breaking my heart, so why even bother being in a relationship?"
I feel bad for people who just hurt other who already been hurt and they don’t know until they are too late.
I agree, czcams.com/video/JOi56C-xpSw/video.html
The older I get the more I realise that not only have far more people than you think been victims of one sort of abuse or another, but also that many horrid people are also victims. Its a grim world.
They're lazy and ignorant ones. Lazy because, even when they come to realize they ruined someone's life because of their internal trauma, they will never change; ignorant because they just aren't fully aware of what they've done. Empathy for them doesn't mean they should be justified in any way, and, if they have to be left alone to let someone younger and more active heal up, they will be.
@@someonesomeone25 Lots of people think this is normal, and that's why lots of victims never came out. But, since the world is changing, I hope this mentality can also change completely.
@Krishna Patel DON'T, PLEASE. Get to a school, work, ANYTHING but getting married just to escape from them. My mother escaped from her family through marriage... and my father started beating her up. He is a monster. I shouldn't have been born in here, it was her fault for being too naïve. Believe me, it's best to stay alone and survive alone, then, when you feel stable enough, you can find somebody. Marriage can be dangerous if you get married in a hurry just to get away from your family. Please, think of yourself first. Job first, home first, put yourself FIRST.
I am sending a virtual hug to everyone thay relates to this 💛 I am sending you love.
💕
Sending love back your way 💫💙💙💙💜💜💜💞
Thank you 🙏🏾
@@foreveryactionthereisacons1683 thank you so much 🥰
@@daily6544 of course 💛
Thank you so much for uploading this video!
I relate well to 5 of the 6 signs you mentioned.
It’s amazing just watching this video and how it has helped me understand why I feel the way for the past 36 years of my life.
I’m trying to find the right path to get help and slowly I’m getting there.
❤️
I remember saying "Ow" one time to my parents when I was 9 or 10... Worst mistake I've ever made to this day and I'm in my 20s
i have flashbacks, depression, anxiety, i isolate myself, i have difficulty falling asleep, concentrating, i always expect to be heart broken or rejected and when i am i say sorry and leave, i have trust issues that make it hard to make friends, i am numb with my emotions
edit: i dont sleep anymore
I felt this was also , then I started telling myself , I am a rock , I am an island , a rock feels no pain, an island never cry's 🙂
@@glendabreece9767 mhm
All the friends i made when i was younger wanted me to die, now i can’t trust anyone 😭
@@bruh438 hey its ok
im here if you need me
Wow that's me
My whole family needs to get a life away from each other.
I feel that is the issue and solution for me as well
Yep samething with me and mine
I'm impressed someone hasn't taken me out in my sleep.
Abusive parents probably were abused as children. The sad thing is the abuse can span many generations, damaged children will grow up into damaged adults and continue the abuse.
@@marthas.4456 solution is to either kill myself or not have kids
I was physically and mentally abused by my father and my mother let it happen and left when she wanted to some scars never heal but I moved on from my family all together and my life has turned around the past 20 years or so and is amazing
Not only that but these new mental scars also influence your career choices, your friendships and everything else.
There were many times I was hit when I was still a kid. I wasn't wanted. My crime? I was the seventh and last girl born. He wanted a son. So I got hit and yelled at a lot. The worst part wasn't having my father knock me unconscious at the dinner table. It was that I was a girl. Once when I was nine or ten and was coached by my older sister to say something nasty to my mother. I said it and my father backhanded me, which made my chair fall over, hit my head and went unconscious. The worst part of that was when I came to consciousness and opened my eyes was seeing my father hulking over me, pulling his metal-tipped cowboy boot back to kick me in the head. I froze, thought I was dead this time. My mother said to him, "If you do that I'll divorce you!" and he pulled his boot back. He would have done it. Another time he put his loaded gun to my forehead and he and I locked eyes. I saw in his crazy eyes just how much he was struggling with himself not to pull the trigger. I had made my sister scream once when she startled me as she walked into the darkened bathroom where I was sitting on the toilet. It took him a reeeeallly long time to decide not to pull the trigger then too. I will never forget it. When he died, I didn't cry one tear. I was simply releaved.
Have you seen a therapist? You need a lot of support to help you come to terms with the abuse you suffered and you also need to develop true self esteem. I wish you well. 🌷🌷🌷
My dad used to beat the hell out of my sister. She had a smart mouth and never learned to just shut up. One time he was beating my sister, she ran and tried to get away by hiding under the kitchen table. He started kicking the hell out of her on the floor. She out out and it continued. I saw her and she was punch drunk losing consciousness. I was about 5 years old, but remember that well. Years later she was at the doctor doing x Ray's. The doctor asked when she broke her back.... . I'm surprised we all survived.
I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope your best...always.
-Lynne 🌹
Fuck! Its scary as hell. I hope you're out of that shit
What a living nightmare for you.. then and now, as I don’t think you ever fully recover. I hope you’ve talked to a professional about your experiences. It will help you, esp for when you have your own family. Break that vicious cycle my friend, don’t let his demon legacy live on. Best of luck and wishing a happy future for you. You deserve a good life as does your sister.
These are tough because I spent so many years denying that I was abused, and defending those who abused me. It was never physical, and so I constantly would say how lucky I'd been. But the emotional jabs and knock outs that I experienced continue to affect me, and have trapped me in a cycle of never feeling good enough.
Hello! How are you? If you need someone to listen, someone to talk to, or a friend. I am here to talk, listen, and be a friend. I hope you are safe and well. Know that you are amazing and have rights as a human. I am very sorry for anything that seems bad that may have happened in your life. I want you to know that you are incredible and are capable of wonders. What matters is your inside, not your exterior. Love yourself and cherish yourself. Words cannot explain how astonishing you are. You deserve care, love, and happiness, don't let anything make you feel otherwise. You may or you may not think that you are a failure but you are not, we are humans and we are bound to make mistakes so failures will come but that will give you the prize of what you have learned. Even if it may be a very small prize, it is very significant and important because you are amazing and deserving to learn and grow just as everyone else is. Please have appropriate action for anything that you know is wrong. Try and find professional or trusted help. Anything that seems bad or wrong in your life right now will get better. Please don't do what is wrong, fighting back and harming others will not solve the problem. Please understand that and do the good thing. It will one day come back to you. The people in the world are so much more than what we know about them, not everyone opens up about the beautiful things and acts they have witnessed, not all those amazing doings are acknowledged. There is more to people than it seems. Please understand that and know that. If you feel like no one cares about you, know that I care about you. Keep your head up high and never give up! Together, we can be a better community! Stay safe, healthy, happy, kind, understanding, positive and strong!
@@emaanahsansarfraz1940 well , imagine the day I got my period , I had an older sister , she my dad would always say u on the rag , both parents beat her in front of me , so I learned ! Never okay talking about my rag , asking for" things " tampons, pads ! So o would bleed in my undies! At school ! No one bothered to tell me anything ! I got sick , no one cared ! I remember eating cheese on my period , threw up ! Mom said I'm bulimic, really I was chubby ! Couldn't say I am on my period ! I hid it my whole life ! If I take my purse to the bathroom at work , someone will know ! I was made a wife to my dad it felt like, I had to grocery shop with him every wed. He took me put of school early saying I needed an appt ! Of course it looked like he was getting me help for they threw my older sister out ! He barked u can not use her name in this house ! He lied all the time ! He'd rather buy beer , than emotional support for his kids ! He would sit in undies and play with himself ! In front of us , not a ped , just nasty ! He used me for do this do that . I moved at 19 on my own I kept getting calls do do give me money ! Oh god ! I worried about them more than myself ! I'm 44 , married and man I'm a fn mess no kids at home , why I ask myself they ran off away from us ! I got so much built inside no one would believe it ! I went hard core opposite of them ! Didn't escape the drama ! Life sucks ! I never really lived ! Everybody else's drama was on me ! I don't even know me and I doubt i ever will . Like a ball rolling , u can't escape the past !
I understand exactly what u speak of. It’s a constant mental battle. I see them as pitiful, knowing what I know now, after all these years. It consoles me.
Same, I feel so bad for you, I hope your getting through I know it would be hard...
i watched a video before of a woman who was sexually abused by her father. she grew up, had a son and a daughter. the son, she would demean, criticize, and shout at; nothing he did was good enough for the mom. he grew up to become a celebrated ballet dancer and a drug addict. everyone loved him, but the more successful and loved he became, the more drugs he took. he died of an overdose, and his mom made the video, to tell her and her son's story... hurt people truly hurt people... they say, it's never too late to form good memories; of a happy childhood. you could be the person you needed when you were younger; the mom/dad you deserved. you could be a good mentor in your future.. God be with you, Jacob...🤗💖🙏🙏
Thank you for this video Amanda. You have such a big heart and this is perfect for people who are unable to get therapy
This is very relatable. Past abusive experiences really affect your present or future ones if not treated. One may not realise why one behaves in a certain manner but it has a lot to do with the past.
I was emotionally mentally and verbally abused by both of my parents. I knew that I was being abused, but I had no way of getting out at the time. If my boyfriend hadn't seen the way that I was and took my to a safe place, I wouldn't be here today. I'm doing a lot better now and I'm so, so grateful for having him in my life
Wonderful!
Happy for you❤
call the police
It feels like everytime where I was "abused" wasn't actually abuse, that I diserved everything and that if I was better it wouldn't have happened.
People say that my behavior and manners are perfect. I think i was abused but if i had been abused I would not be able to be perfect.
That's what abuse does to people. You could be doing everything right with an abuser, and they'll still make you feel like you're the worst creature on the planet. But remember, if perfection guaranteed good treatment from others, Jesus wouldn't have been crucified.
Same, it's not true though. Hope you're doing well
Same…
I've been abused by dad growing up, this is why I feel resentment towards him nowadays
Y'all should talk about sexual harrasments and how it affects us mentally and physically
I was abused as a child. My dad physically and emotionally abused until I was a teenager. I Don’t have any contact with him. Therapy has helped me a lot deal with these symptoms.
Hope u are doing well now✨✨virtual hug✨✨
I am so glad you sought help and it is helping. Continue to take care of yourself. 🌸
I went through the same. It gets better with time
😪
Same thing but with my mother and I have been no contact for 3 years. It’s not easy but it’s the best decision for me.
In case no one has told you today, Keep pushing through the heartache, lack of motivation & self doubt. When you feel lost, that’s the perfect opportunity to find a reroute. There’s so much you’re meant to do in this lifetime, don’t give up on it. Hope our channel helps you on your journey ✌
Badly want to hear these words right now. Thank you! 😭👌
@@rivuuuh Wish you blessings ! ❤🙏
Thank you ❤️❤️
@@cheryllee6060 Pleasure!!
If any of you don’t mind me sharing 6 years ago I was 12 an I was sexually abused by 2 people . and now 18. The situation’s may be over. But every day it’s still in my mind and memory. The emotions are also still there. Without going to in depth into my story. I just wanted to put this out there. Thank you.
Thank you for covering this topic. I've been abused on all levels by my best friend, and it hurts to see people just ignore it. This video was just sort of reassuring in a way. Love your channel
im so sorry that happened. you’re an amazing person and deserve sm better. wishing you the best.
You are spot on.
Thank you for allowing me to feel validated.
I've been physically and mentally. In my opinion, physical can heal where mental is deep. I have PTSD and an eating disorder
True. Stay strong.
Don’t downplay physical abuse. Rape, Molestation, and getting Beat everyday is just as bad.
@@queenmarie1232 yeah, but emotional abuse should be treated equally as physical abuse. Researches have shown that the emotional abuse causes most of the mental aftermath in physical and sexual abuse cases. Mental abuse shouldn't be ignored just because they don't leave visible scars, although all three is purely terrible
@@queenmarie1232 sexual abuse is a whole different story than physical.....
I've been through all 4 physical, emotional sexual and psychological.
The last 2 are fucking brutal and sadistic, emotional fucks you up to if it's bad enough. Physical? Depending on how bad it is I guess.
I have zero scars from it.
Getting hit and shit thinking back hasn't fucked my mind up.
The child who needs love the most is the one we least want to give it to
I started trauma counseling August 2023. My dad died in 2016. He abused and tried to kill me for 25 years. Im 30. Dads should never try to hurt his daughter. Ive been diagnosed with complex ptsd, general anxiety and major depression.
Y'all are amazing!
Thank you for doing everything you do,
It helps all of us start to heal on the inside.
I was abused. But not by my parents, as a matter of fact my parents are my best friends, but at school, you may think I'm being overdramatic and it was just bullying, but no my teacher abused me, I had her from kindergarten to second grade, she abused everyone emotionally and verbally. About 10 kids including me physically, and the few teachers pets sexually. Being 5-8 I didn't even know the word abuse yet. Until she fired the teachers assistant, that is one of the sweetest people I've ever met. The teachers assistant invited my family over for dinner one day and told the whole story of what was happening. After people found out they made a petition to fire her and for her to spend some time in jail.... The principal ripped the petition into shreds and she still works there. It's it's hard because, you see I'm only 13. And that already has its struggles. But then to hold it in, I know that it was when I was younger and I'll eventually forget it. But now it's a little unforgettable.
It is illegal for the teacher to do that. Report her to the police for what she did to you and to those other people. That teacher could still go to jail for what she did to you and those other people.
@@katiesheep9564 thanks.... We have a family friend who works there and that's why we went... She said that people are trying again to fire her and put her in jail...
I hope you feel better. And karma is always going to catch up , sooner or later.
I can relate in some ways as someone who grew up in an abusive home and have also experienced abuse from a teacher and later on in a relationship. Please seek professional help and spiritual counseling. I am 34 years old and still unlearning and healing from the things I experienced. As a child, I was not allowed to discuss what “happens in the house” and so I suppressed my emotions and developed very unhealthy coping mechanisms. I suffered from depression, anxiety and even suicidal thoughts from an early age with no one to turn to. I don’t wish those things for anyone. But I’m happy to say that after lots of prayer, self reflection and now therapy, I am in a much better place emotionally and spiritually than I have ever been. God’s love and mercy is the only reason I am still here today. His love knows no bounds! And I pray you will also one day be healed and know how special you are to him! Sorry for the long reply I just wanted to hopefully encourage you and let you know that you’re not alone in this. I will keep you in my prayers. There is purpose in your pain! Lean on God and give your heart and emotions to him. He is waiting with open arms 🙏🏼
@@nottingtohide i am so verry sorry to hear that! you are strong and i think you would be kind
Me: this isn’t normal? I thought everyone felt the same way though.
I luuv u okii ur soo veryyyy worthy and strong ur so brave for all you’ve been through:))💗💗💗
Me too
right? like, not everyone deals with this? who are you non-depressed neurotypicals?
I hear you
When I discovered I had been misdiagnosed with BPD and actually had C-PTSD, I felt the same exact way. I thought everyone felt like I did because that was what had been normal for me. “ You mean everybody doesn’t feel like this?” I was incredulous!
I can relate to number 6. She was my home health aide. She expects me to follow her to her new agency once I complete physical rehab at this nursing home for an open wound and bone infection. I also caught Covid-19 while hospitalized.
Love this channel! The calm voice helps so much.
They give a give a big trauma in life. What scenario had happened to them in the past replaying in the present is a horror to them. :'((
*stay strong psych_fam!*
Yes it is a horror to relive it everyday. The brain is a funny thing.
@Blu Cherries like uhm,, when something terrible happened to them in there past experiences that gave them trauma, replaying in the present world is horror to them. Just like when something happened to you that had you traumatized, and imagine it happening again and again in your life.
I hope you understand 😅
@@Curly-T yepp,, haha it is
Thanks to psych to go for helping me get through this. My best friend in 1st and second grade would threaten to run into a cactus and kill herself if I made her angry. That gave me abandonment issues, and then my parents began to emotionally abuse me. This vid helped me realize that
Oh gods, the LIST - the list as Long As Your Arm - that I can give you. Try this on for size.....
You are the second of 2 children born to your parents - who have already separated and filed for divorce before you ever leave the womb, because one of them (dear old dad) was both Physically and Emotionally abusive to the other, who escaped to protect not only their life, but yours. Mom moves back in with her parents - one of whom, btw, is a diagnosed Narcissistic abuser - and at the age of 6 months, you are almost killed by your sibling, who attempts to suffocate you in your crib, because you are stealing attention from him. The narcissist, who is your primary caregiver while parent is at work, thinks its Funny, because older sibling is the Golden Child in Narc's view and can do no wrong.
By the time you're 2, sibling has tried to suffocate you twice more, attempted to drown you twice, and has already figured out (at age 3) that he can do anything he wants and all he has to say to avoid getting in trouble himself is that YOU did it - and Narc, considering him perfect, punishes you consistently for what he does.
Your absentee parent bounces irregularly in and out of your life, routinely being a No-Show. He stops showing up completely before you turn 6, and Mom remarries when you turn 8.
At 13, you are sexually molested by a 26 yr old buddy ...... of your 12 yr old stepsister's 19 yr old boyfriend. ... at stepsister's house where she lives with her mom who is a raging alcoholic and thinks nothing of her 12 yr old daughter being sexually active with a 19 yr old.
At 17, you are withdrawn, quiet, keep to yourself, and a senior in high school- Immensely Unpopular as the "weird nerdy girl", and almost daily during high school you face things ranging from Sunday Night Phone calls threatening your life if you show up to school on Monday, to having your text books stolen out of your locker and dumped in the toilet of the boys' bathroom as often as twice in any given Week - and its been going on since you were half way through your sophomore year.
You head off to college - and promptly become a burnout, because you're taking a triple class load in an attempt to prove to your family that you can measure up.
You end up dropping out of college - and jump into a relationship ...... with...... a narcissist. Maybe This Time you can somehow "earn" their love and respect if you just do things Right Enough.
You get pregnant, and when Narcissist Granny finds out, its get married or get kicked out of the family. You're divorced in less than a year, a 22 yr old single parent with no real job skills, a severely handicapped child to take care of, emotional scars going back to infancy, a completely toxic family, and no friends.
Welcome to the first half of my life. Yes, it all actually happened. No, none of it is made up or exaggerated.
It took another 18 years, 2 physically abusive relationships and 1 emotionally abusive relationship (whom I thankfully did NOT marry any of!) 3 more aborted trips to college, an autoimmune illness caused by the constant stress, and TONS of therapy to not be a gibbering wreck.
I was abused 18 years ago which still affects me to this day at 25, I find everyday tasks extremely difficult but I'm still not giving up hope yet, I know I can beat it.
Stay strong everyone.
Keep working on it! 💪
The past doesn't exist in reality... but our brain is made so that it can take memories for itself and show them to the conscious mind whenever it feels stressed or pressured. That's the biggest problem of PTSD. I really hope you find peace. I don't believe in any god of love, so I won't be praying for you, but I do believe you deserve peace more than the other people because you're fighting for it. You will feel accomplished.
I hope u get better! I also have autism and it's bad living with it so let's just be nice to each other :D u don't know what someone's been through
I trust that you can beat it. It must be so difficult sometimes, but you have the strength to get through it. Maybe it would be easier with people by your side though, maybe a group of people with a similar history, professional help or even phone calls with the Samaritans. I found such phone calls very helpful, just to talk to someone who listens and gives you strength. All the best!!
Same
God Bless
Love that soothing voice. Too bad some of these therapies weren't more widely diagnosed and available many years ago. I am now 78 years old and still dealing with conflicting feelings, PTSD, and anxiety resulting from being raised in a home in which I was "scapegoated" as the eldest of three girls. Got married one year out of high school mainly to get out from under my parents control...and found myself in an extremely abusive marriage (physical, emotional and psychological) for the next ten years. Programs such as this have been a big help in dealing with the aftermath of all of that abuse...
Hope the best for you 🙏
Thank you so much y for your work and keeping this chanel going; it's truly been a help.
"Past hurts do not have to decide future outcomes. " I felt tht. Tysm 4 making this vid. Love ur Vids ❤️👍
Awh. We're glad that you love it Adeeba! 🤗✨
Yes Felt that as well ❤🙏🏿
@Penultimate H If someone took a chainsaw & cut off your arms & legs, then castrated you with it, would you say that, "you can control your reaction to it" shit?
@Penultimate H No, I did not! No, I did not trivialize their nightmare situation. I was being sarcastic about the Epictetus-inspired stupid idea that, "It doesn't matter what another person says or does, it matters what is your reaction to it". Every person getting a DUI can say that to the Judge in the Courtroom. Does that meet your approval? Marcus Aurelius was a better example of a Stoic--he murdered people, he gave commands, he was a man of action. (I did not condone murder, all you cops and censors out there.) If I don't get your approval, oh well, get offended, it's a free country.
I was abused both phisically and mentally by my own parents through my childhood and my teenhood. It really messed me up. There were times when my mother would shout on me and she would move her hands up, I would flinch and try to hide my head (cus when I used to be hit, I would hide my head and my body cus these were the most painful parts to recieve hits) when I was 18, I reached that part where if my mother would want to raise her hand against me, I would tell her "Hit me and I'll tell my friends the truth, were these bruises came from" and that would calm her a bit down.
I hope you are doing better. Abuse is fucking tough.
When my mum would get drunk, which was often when I was young, even now when she tries to come off her meds or has a relapse, she'll punch, bite or slap me or throw things at me. Saying horrible things to me about how I'm lazy and fat and a horrible abusive person. Sometimes I snap back, but mostly I'll try and hole myself up in my room.
@@Phoebe5448 Please get away from her as soon as you can, she doesn’t deserve a child and no one should be the victim of her sickening acts
I’ve also experienced abuse, but your case is very much worse… I hate to think there’s people who are undergoing things like this. And alI can say is wish you a better future.
@@123cocoamonster9 Thank you very much for your kind words! I'm doing better now. My mum is a damaged person herself but she was always very dismissive. She is a good person but when it comes to parenting she's a bit hit and miss. Also she's quit drinking but when she relapses I'm the emotional punching bag. It's not all the time but when it does happen it makes me feel worthless and horrible. But I wish everyone well.
Hello! How are you all? If anyone needs someone to listen, someone to talk to, or a friend. I am here to talk, listen, and be a friend. I hope you all are safe and well. Know that you are amazing and have rights as a human. I am very sorry for anything that seems bad that may have happened in your life. I want you to know that you are incredible and are capable of wonders. What matters is your inside, not your exterior. Love yourself and cherish yourself. Words cannot explain how astonishing you are. You deserve care, love, and happiness, don't let anything make you feel otherwise. You may or you may not think that you are a failure but you are not, we are humans and we are bound to make mistakes so failures will come but that will give you the prize of what you have learned. Even if it may be a very small prize, it is very significant and important because you are amazing and deserving to learn and grow just as everyone else is. Please have appropriate action for anything that you know is wrong. Try and find professional or trusted help. Anything that seems bad or wrong in your life right now will get better. Please don't do what is wrong, fighting back and harming others will not solve the problem. Please understand that and do the good thing. It will one day come back to you. The people in the world are so much more than what we know about them, not everyone opens up about the beautiful things and acts they have witnessed, not all those amazing doings are acknowledged. There is more to people than it seems. Please understand that and know that. If you feel like no one cares about you, know that I care about you. Keep your head up high and never give up! Together, we can be a better community! Stay safe, healthy, happy, kind, understanding, positive and strong!
I have been( and I am now actually) being abused by me “ family” AND I started therapy and it’s so wonderful it totally worths it
I had a traumatic past and due to that, have panic attacks because of flashbacks. During the 6 years of traumatic experience, I was real young and went to school. When I was younger, my mom had worked at night so I would barely see her in the morning, go to school, come back home, go to my dad's house, get abused there, come back home and hear my parents scream at each other. I cried basically every day after school and related to a quote. The kids who are loved at home go to school to learn, but kids who aren't loved at home go to school to be loved. So please, treat others with kindness.
To anyone reading this in 2020: we are badass fighters, we’ve been battling emotions and COVID at the same time.
Deep peace🌿
Imagine if we had locked down over Swine flu or Bird flu or Ebola!
Haha but its hard
Wally BingBang thanks 😊
To anyone who is alive in 2020 and beyond: COVID-19/coronavirus can't hold us!
Anime Mix AMV - Can't Hold Us (Remix) - CZcams
czcams.com/video/NGgpLa9zYpM/video.html
Channel Eveless Forever.
"please seek help"
me: "but i didn't do anything to get help, i don't deserve it."
why am i like this...
yes you do!
you deserve the world, you deserve what you desire, and you deserve to be helped!
I may not be able to tell you this face to face, and we may not know each other, but just letting you know that if you ever need to talk then I'm willing to listen if you want :)
I've always thought I could deal with it myself and never wanted to see a therapist, mostly because I'm scared of what they'll say about me and my mental state. But if you can, please get help!
@@SaffireSocks please get help right away.
I always had this little voice telling me it wasn't that bad and that plenty of people have had it worse. Trying to convince myself I don't deserve sympathy. The truth is, I don't remember ever feeling secure anywhere. Validating that for myself is so important.
Lord, she just described me. The flashbacks have been coming more frequently as I get older.
My past has crafted me to be well aware of how to sense when someone's being abused, or has depression.
Same
I wish I had that. I think I miss a lot of signs. (The ability I mean, not the bad past).
My ex husband was so emotionally abusive to me. I wasted 30 years of my life with him. It was so bad I wish I’d gotten out sooner. Now I’m to old and looks ruined so i will never find love in this life. He of course remarried . I remain alone and I could never trust anyone even if I had the chance. My advice, dear ones, is get out right away if you live with an abuser. It won’t get any better and our life in this world is short.For those of you like me, try to enjoy the peace you have and find some happiness in each day, no matter how small.
Me too 35 years I have know he has NPD fir the last 6 years waiting until my daughter is 18 so we can both go no contact 2 more years but I know what’s wrong with him now so it easier but I’m old and I will never find real love it’s sad because that’s all I wanted was to love and be loved I’m sorry the same thing happened to you God bless you
In my case, my wife got progessively more abusive as the years went by. The alologies became less frequent and my black eyes and busted lips more frequent. By the 24th year, I couldn't take it anymore and left with the clothes on my back. Luckily, i'm still young enough to rebuild my life for the better! I don't recommend staying as long as I did. My eternal optimism didn't help things in this case.
don't sell yourself short, young lady.. johnny depp didn't look so hot himself after living with heardt who was heard calling handsome johnny, "an old, fat man"... you're just starting to bloom girl.. as will johnny...
One of the bad things is.. doubting yourself, constantly asking yourself if you actually got abused or if you're just dramatic and faking it...
I have C-PTSD due to prolonged abuse from multiple people. The greatest day of my life was when I was finally on my own. My mental health is a struggle everyday. The traumas are slowly losing their sting thanks to therapy and meds.