Why My Autistic Brain Hates Malls: Crowds, Shopping, Small Talk, and More | Understanding Autism
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- čas přidán 31. 05. 2024
- Ever felt the overwhelming dread of entering a mall? Then add in the crowds of shoppers and you have the perfect recipe for sensory overload. 😫 Join me as I share my personal struggle with malls, stemming from my ADHD and autism. From the sensory onslaught of bright lights and loud music to the anxiety-inducing encounters with eager salespeople, join as I navigate the maze of malls. If you've ever felt suffocated in a sea of people, this one's for you.
00:00 - My dislike for certain places
00:28 - Crowded spaces and loud music
00:55 - Bright lights and unwelcome customer service
01:24 - The anxiety of being overscrutinized
03:19 - The overwhelming sensory experience of being surrounded by people inside the mall
04:17 - Those people in the mall attempting to sell products
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I love all of your videos. You’re so relatable! Thank you
I agree about the hellscape that is malls, but small boutiques are just as terrifying. If you go in, there is 100% chance of a salesperson greeting you and offering "help." I break into a sweat just walking past their doors.
I'm so glad you and Debby started your channel! Your content is so on-target and fun to watch.
The fragrance area is for sure the worst. One smellsgood is probably good, but the whole area smells like all of the smellsgoods, so it's overwhelming and smells bad.
You nailed it! There's too much going on! I get pains in my head and then most of my face feels like it's going to explode. When I'm in the fragrance section, I can't concentrate on what the sales people are saying. I have to fully focus on keeping my face from exploding.
Yes😜
One that has always bothered me about malls is the constant background noise of indicernible conversations, it upsets me so much I never understood why I left malls feeling so angry
The one thing about malls that is not as bad is that they hardly have anyone in them anymore, so crowds are less of an issue. That being said, I buy most everything online. But yeah, lots of sensory overstimulation. The lights. Smells. etc.
Dislike malls. It's like holding your breath until you're out of there. I really like going with specific goals and completing them; help me ignore the crowd.
Yes, the comment about holding your breath is so true. I also like having a plan and sticking to it - sometimes, especially before I was diagnosed, Debby used to deviate from the plan and that could be frustrating and overwhelming, so I think this comment can help other people (especially non-autistics) understand better WHY we dislike malls but also the impact of straying from the plan - it can cause me a lot of physical discomfort. My adhd brain sometimes also does this to me though which is where the two (ADHD and autism) can contradict one another sometimes and pull me in different directions
it depends on how many people, on my mood, on the temperature ... the "malls" at my place aren´t that big ...
How big are the malls where you live? Some of them near me are pretty huge but very crowded at times with few spots to reset and escape. Yes about the temperature - so hard to regulate that when I’m in malls and it’s almost always several degrees hotter than I would like
@@ChrisandDebby the two "Malls" in my city are both around 20,000 Square Meters
(215,278 Square Feet I think) big. We call them different. 😅
Oh my gosh Yes. The lion king stampede scene. Like anytime i go shopping in malls. My husband kindly gives me a solid heads up if we ever have to go in a mall so i can mental prep. Luckily, the most recent time we had to go, there eas a second entry for that store alone so except for thr parking lot chaos, it didnt even trigger the usual sensory and social nightmare of a mall trip! And the store had wonderful soft clothes to try on. And the staff werent pushy. It was great.
So great you had a wonderful outing recently. I also love soft clothes (don’t really love dressing rooms though so I don’t always take the time to try things before buying). Sounds like the staff there were awesome too! I’m working on a video about how people in customer service could make adjustments in how they view “friendliness” for people who don’t seem like they want to talk. Let me know if you have any specifics that you did like from this experience!
Oh great idea! @@ChrisandDebby
The person who helped us let us approach her. When I said I was overwhelmed with choices, she explained the materials in the coats, broke it down into two categories for me: Down and synthetic. Then explained the benefits of each, when her customers preferred each. For example the synthetic was lighter weight and more compress-able for travel. And then we talked about length of coats. She shared that she likes her butt covered in the winter too 😂 I appreciated that!
She was soft-spoken which was nice, not a booming sales voice. And she kind of went on a mini info dump about coats, but with pauses for me to ask questions or confirm I had understood her. She putzed with tidying inventory while we talked so I didn't feel pressured to stay locked into eye contact or stay next to her for very long. When I got the info I needed, it was comfortable to say thanks and walk away.
There were a few staff in that zone so they saw id been helped already and didn't bug me after. And they were fine with me trying stuff on in the aisles next to a mirror since it was just coats. So no need for dressing rooms!
Whenever I'm around crowds as an autistic person, I get all panicky. I remember in my final year of high school, all seniors had to get a picture taken in the gym. We sat on the bleachers with me in the middle of everyone. We waited, and with me being in the middle of all twelfth graders, I start to get anxious. To make it worse, they kept thudding their feet on the bleachers. It felt like forever for someone to finally take our picture. After it was done, we left the gym, making my way through everyone else, and I was finally free from the crowd.
I have always hated having store employees ask me if I need help. The few times I have allowed them the help I end up getting the wrong thing. I need a t-shirt that tells them to back off before they get too close to me.
I need that shirt too.
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Hate malls. Hate.
I can't do them anymore. I used to, but can't anymore. If my wife or friends need to go to the mall and I'm with them, I'll park myself at a nearby cafe and wait.
Nausea
All shops competing to see whos music is the loudest.
I actually dislike going into small stores because it's a guarantee the employees WILL see me and WILL talk to me. I don't place the blame on them at all. I used to work a retail job where we H A D to greet and try to sell shit to the customers. If I didn't, I'd get a talking-to from some overcaffeinated district manager with a Cheshire cat grin. I still feel guilty for all those unwilling people I chatted up.
The mall is pretty bad especially when busy.
It's one of the worst places for me. I have such a hard time in them. I've decided that I don't need to go into them anymore.
@@ChrisandDebby I go in malls only if it's not a busy time. Like during the week when school is in session and a lot of people are at work. But I usually don't go at all. Maybe once a year.
I dont do malls but HAD to go to one last week to get my iphone battery replaced. It took them an hour longer than they said it would, but gave me that information in 5 minute increments… so I was effectively held hostage in the apple store for an hour at peak after-school time. Narrowly avoided a full blown screaming rage meltdown but a week later I still haven’t recovered.