How glowing up ruined my life
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- čas přidán 10. 06. 2024
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✗ Instagram: @aliviadandrea
This 6 year documentary is the ending to my youtube series the Glow up Diaries.
I was pretty emotionally unaware for all the epiodes of the glow up diaries. I’m so happy I can come back and tell you my full story with clarity and awareness now.
Closing this chapter of my life. Goodbye Glow up Diaries. Grateful for the growth. Grateful for all your support.♥
0:00 how glowing up ruined my life
14:16 the problem
16:19 the solution
21:35 the results
25:19 special announcement♥
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• Subscribe for the dating diaries!! (coming to youtube in June 2024)
• instagram: @aliviadandrea
• glow up discord community: discord.gg/yrSCb9BP
• GOODBYE GLOW UP DIARIES. THIS MARKS THE END OF AN ERA. I HAVE HEALED AND IM CLOSING THIS CHAPTER OF MY LIFE.
❤Grateful for the growth and support!❤
*SIDE NOTE: just to be clear - being a social media creator was NOT the main reason for my issues.
ur so amazing 😊😊😊
Alivia, never knew you were going through this... I was always inspired by you.. Know that we love you no matter what.
I’m interested in the final Q&A sharingggggg
Yayy!! You’re finally back!! I’d love a Q and A if it won’t be triggering or hard for you ❤
you go girl!!! we love you no mtter what..
''Only my skinny self deserves to have pretty clothes'' that hit me so hard
Damn, same
That’s how I used to think, it’s sad to look back and remember how low one’s confidence/self esteem was
*metaphysically reaching back in time and giving my younger self a hug*😭
Same...also restricting myself from activities because I believe I'm not pretty enough for them. 🥹
Jesus loves you ❤
This is the true “glow up”. Loving yourself.
Fr ❤
THIS!
yes yes yes 💘
Exactly - most people’s „glow ups“ are just GROW UPS. THIS is working on yourself facing your insecurities trying and trying perseverance 🙌🏻
I pray you find Jesus! Delete social media! You are perfect the way you are! The world will dare you apart! Come to the Father our Lord Jesus Christ will help you find that inner peace!!
I've never wanted to hug a stranger more in my entire life...
Completely
i NEVER thought anyone would have this same mindset. every since i gained weight it hold me back from living life and i rot in my home. ive tried to lose it but just like u did it feels IMPOSSIBLE. seeing this video i felt so so seen. i feel a little bit better knowing im not the only one who feels exactly like this and struggles daily. I often wonder how did i get like this. Thank you for being so real.
Hey Liz. Same here.. I've been going through this as well. I've lost a little bit of weight, and it's really telling how my mental health, shopping, hanging out, and living life have been so linked to my weight.
such a minor detail, but leaving in usernames was 10/10.
Fr
Name 👏🏻 and 👏🏻 shame 👏🏻
Jesus loves youu ❤
@@hey_wolfJesus loves you 💞😊🫶🏽
@@KittyCat260Jesus loves youu ❤
it’s the fact that you really did document your entire “glow up” journey and didn’t even realize it. you documented girlhood, and how it feels to come to terms with who you are and how you deserve to be treated. this was so empowering. alivia, we were girls together. and now? we are women. ❤
The sweetest comment ❤ I love this. I'm 23 and feel similarly.
this comment made me tear up as I first watched her stuff when I was 12, and now I'm almost 18. Wow
That comment made me cry too❤ indeed, we were girls and now we’re women. I had an experience not long ago that made me realize it. I did a old school « pyjama/sleepover party » with my friends and while we did crafty girly things, we also talked about deeper subjects and depression, body image, health issues (that might also be my group of friends but we all either dealed with hormonal issues like pcos, pmdd, thyroid issues, or mental health problems like anxiety, depression, etc, and were all kind of trying to accept it and figure out how to heal and deal with it). It was kind of liberating to talk about theses things so freely and experience that we weren’t alone in our struggles. We were kind of all trying to heal from stuff, love and accept ourselves. It felt literally that way: we used to be girls and now we were women and were all supporting each other and dealing with our bodies and lives changing and the transition into being « true » adults.
Such a beautiful comment, cryingggg😭❤
what a beautiful comment
This is your glow up ! The strength and compassion and love to post this video, that is your glow-up. You are not your body you are your mind. People will judge you and make you feel bad about yourself because of their own lack of self-esteem. This video touched me to my core, you are an inspiration.
I just randomly found you through the algorithm and girl..... you are f**ing beautiful. Honestly. Inside out. And congrats for reaching as far as you reached. I too struggle and have ALWAYS struggled with weight, I also developed T2 Diabetes due to a severe mental breakdown and a sht job, lost my relationship and I no longer have the energy. BUT I am proud of how far I too have come and admire people like you. Keep going. it is the least we can do to honor Mother Nature and what she has given us
the moment you said "ok try to say something nice to yourself" with you being suddenly silent was so heartbreaking. It makes me cry a lot
❤❤❤❤
I felt it in my soul.
God loves you so! John 3:16✝️
@@Bianca-xw3pp God loves you so! John 3:16✝️
same
It’s so hard to watch such a beautiful girl cry because she doesn’t feel beautiful
Rightttttttttt
This!
I got tears because she can’t see her beauty but I don’t blame her. Beauty standards are hard to reach
I know right. The whole while I was like "are u crazy you are so beautiful" while exactly knowing how she felt
Exactly this 😢
This is by far the most relatable and realistic journey of self-love and self-acceptance that I have ever watched. Her cries and vulnerable moments resonate so much that they made me feel understood. This video shows that growth and accepting different versions of oneself can be messy and emotional, but it’s very freeing and rewarding when you triumph over all of it.
May all of us who are struggling and on the journey of self-acceptance soon find peace within ourselves❤.
I used to watch you since i was 14, I'm 17yrs old now and i need to thank you for this, your entire channel, over the years you've changed my naïve concept of " glowing up " that my younger self used to obsess over , and made me realise how complicated the problem this concept holds, it's not just about improving appearance, it's about realising that actuall self love is a deep rooted issue that can take even years to be reached, not the weight lost or the perfect skin or the perfect appearance is the solution to anything, that's not how you get to happiness it's all an allusion or a temporary solution with a good feeling for a while. you sitting with yourself and your feelings and emotions and fears and facing them and also yourself, understanding your psychological state and why you are what you, why you want the things you want and are they really the solution ? it's a chaotic journey and mentally painful but so beautiful and reflects how real growth plus maturity happens with teenagers who are self conscious, and continues to develop, you have managed to save allot of time for younger generations who are trying to reach this state of mind without having to go though the same pattern and feeling lost or not knowing what to do or where to start before actually figuring things out for themselves, i hope you understand how valuable and important your content is, thank you Alivia.
"Your happiness does not have to make sense to other people."
This is such a good quote. I love it.
on point ☑️
facts, i'm gonna remember this one
Facts
Taliban:
I hate quotes usually but this one is one Ill carry with myself
when she said her auntie always said “once she lost weight, she’s going to look so gorgeous’ hits so much because all through my teenage years , people have said that to me.
it's so hurtful hey. My mum likes to tell me that once I loose weight I will be so handsome that everyone will want to hang with me. Words hurt so much. I hope you are doing okay
I’m so sorry to both of you. You’re beautiful and worthy of love no matter what. ❤
I think that in general people look better when they are in a healthy weight. Even if hurts, to hear it, it is real.
That doesn't mean that your body have to be in a "perfect" shape.
Just, try to be healthier. Sleep better, drink water, don't wear clothes that make you feel frumpy, do some exercise (doesn't have to be extreme) and most importantly, wear clothes that fit you, no matter your size.
@@Ireenne that’s so true, as I’ve got older I’ve learnt to dress myself and try and keep myself healthier and my appearance has made me feel confident in myself. I’ve learnt the hardest way to accept myself (especially how I’m autistic as well) and I’m able to give myself breaks when I need it.
@@rebeccablankenship4710 I agree so very much! Olivia and Justin are beautiful, and worthy of love, just as they are! And is too bad that the people in their lives that are supposed to love and accept them for who they are have not. I went through that my whole Life until I turned 53. That’s how long it took my mother to compliment me. And even it was because she was sort of pushed into it by her current husband.
I NEVER measured up in her eyes.
And that is why, with my daughters, and even my stepchildren, I praise them nearly for everything. I told them how beautiful or handsome they are no matter what weight they’re at, I tell them how very smart and intelligent I think they are and I applaud their achievements at everything they do.
Because everybody deserves to have cheerleaders on the side, cheering them on to greatness. Even if it’s that greatness is just achieving what they consider their best. Because their best is not everybody else’s version of best.
what a beautiful ending to your journey. You were filming the true glow up journey without realising that the true goal is not the physical but the mental glow up..! So authentic and relatable for everyone who went through the same shit.
You worded this perfectly!!!
I do not comment on videos, but this video stirred me! Girl you were, are and will always be an inspiration! It takes so much courage to be so open and put your emotions in front of everyone and I really respect you for that. You have no idea how much this video meant to me and hundreds of others. May the universe bless you and I wish for your happiness! Thankyouuu for this! I needed this! Love
something I learned recently is that you can be stunning and someone will still come along and say you're ugly just to knock you down.
I realize now i went thru this alot in my life and it really left a wound. But the truth is most times Ppl are better looking then they even see and ppl get mad at that and try to distort ones self worth.
That someone can be your entire family just because you look like a family member they don't like ... not even because you ARE ugly 😢😂
But that means the opposite is true as well. You can be looking terrible in your own eyes, and someone will come along and think you're amazingly beautiful
@@StreamB it's almost like beauty is subjective and the entire point of this video is to love yourself regardless of what you look like because it doesn't really matter, and people who make it matter won't ever love you anyway.
Beauty is subjective. I've seen a particular celebrity described as "hot af." To me she isn't, not even close.
what hurts the most is that you were always beautiful. the issue is confidence and people telling the internet that the only way to be happy is have a perfect figure and face and hair is so harmful
a beautiful soul is all that matters
exactlyyy
literally I always thought she was so beautiful
But I also feel like beauty is the very thing that we as a society are too attached to. I feel like it's not about whether we were always beautiful or not simply because beauty is subjective and humans change. Our worth and confidence is just attached to beauty.
@@pateksky1890 I 100% agree. This is rlly well put 💗
CHILLS. I really needed to hear your words. I have been struggling with my self-love and my weight for months now and it's got to the point when I just feel ashamed of myself all the time. You have made me realise that this is where all my issues stem from and it's time for me to focus on that and that alone. Thank you so much for sharing Alivia, you may be unaware of quite how powerful this video is!
First step is to view your weight as a part of a body that pumps blood and gives you life every day rather than an endless struggle. Acceptance of my body as it wanted to be made me feel alive again. Good luck on your journey.
♥️ much love to you. You deserve to accept yourself in every version of your body, through all the changes, through all times it stays the same. Doesn’t matter. You deserve to feel peace about your body.
@@hollandlarned203 thank you ❤
This is sooo fucking real and heartbreaking and I’m not even through the video yet. I love how authentic you are despite what the world tells us to be .
I think this is the first time I've ever seen someone on CZcams actually share that rawness and that reality of self-loathing. The bit where you were struggling to think of something nice to say about yourself hit hard. I'm so glad you've found a place of self-acceptance and I hope that you keep it forever.
God loves you! Repent and believe that Jesus paid the price for our sins! He can give you so much love, joy and peace!💕
Love that your “physical glow up” wasn’t the end of it. Your true glow up came from learning to love and accept yourself and fulfill your self worth from the inside. Not any superficial goals that came from insecurity. This was the perfect ending to a raw and heartfelt journey.
🔥
🔥🔥🔥
самооценки не бывает
The end of the video she looks so happy and glowing literally I really hope people realize just how serious this is ❤
This is the first mature comment I have seen!! When you learn to accept yourself, you are truly strong ❤
I'm about half way through this video. I really hope this ends positively. You are worth so much more than what others think you should look like. I understand the pressure you and others put on you. Everyone wants to be accepted. I am proud of you for changing your mindset! Lots of healing and love to you!!
Girl YASSSSSSS!!!!!! I am so proud of you 😭😭 my heart absolutely broke watching this whole journey and i am so happy to hear you’re at a place where you’ve mended your relationship with yourself. Thank you for still being here ❤ i related so much to this video
her journey is literally every woman's life.. this is how much insecurity we carry, I have had the same thoughts as her constantly even if we try to deny it Deep down we have felt the same thing as her. andddd there is absolutely NOTHING NOTHING wrong with this beautiful woman
Not all women....but I get your point
I thought it was just me who carries these insecurities on a daily. The uncontrollable amount of negative thoughts that can consume my brain.... I am at a point to where I believe that this is 'not normal' or 'no longer okay with me.' You are exactly right with 'her journey is literally every woman's life.' ..... I had no idea. Again, I thought it was just me.
It's so sad because her body looked fine at every stage but I remember thinking the exact same things as her when I was these ages. And now I look back at the photos and I was beautiful. It was all in my head. And I was a teenager when Facebook first came out so we can't blame social media, it's our society as a whole that's to blame.
What does losing weight have to with being a woman?
*some women. I've never struggled with body image. But it's still a major issue for a lot of people - men and women - and that does need to change fs
I don’t understand why people even bullied Alivia… she’s one of the most realest person out here, showing her vulnerability, and showing how progress is never linear, and permanent… you’re always going to have your ups and downs no matter what, it’s all about perspective and pushing yourself up when you fall down, and time and time again, Alivia has shown this reality to everyone publicly that a lot of people typically hide or sugar coat.
Also Alivia, your narration is beautiful and poetic, and everything you create is a work of art. I love your content and I’m sorry you struggled with depression and hate online. I’m glad you are doing better and I hope you continue to thrive 🫰🏻🙏🏻
that is so true
Because so many are afraid to face their own weakness and prefer to let it out on others who represent what they would love to be
she never deserved to be bullied but a lot of her content was harmful to be honest
I feel Like she is bullying herself the most 😞
I do agree that the bullying is terrible but you see Abby (dietist) in the video too and here reaction is very good and true. And the contest was very very very harmful, not only too herself but also too other people. I'm half way through this video but I really hope she sees this at the end. The trend glow up is already harmful.
cried the whole time, i think your video is kind of healing, thank you for sharing your story
thank you for being so brave for sharing your vulnerability online. recently I have been struggling so much with my mental health because I haven't become my 'ideal self' yet. But your journey really motivates me to start loving myself unconditionally like a good friend instead of driven by outside validation only. WELCOME BACK TO CZcams !!!!
Girl this was a beautiful, raw, honest deep dive into depression, eating disorders and wanting people to accept you. I can’t overstate how validated I feel watching this. Thank you
Same
Right? Like she was actually pretty and she's still pretty but also her personality
I felt like I was watching a video about me
“Your happiness does not have to make sense to other people.”
Such an incredible mindset. The truth.
I AGREE 💯! ❤❤❤
your excitement and happiness in the end genuinely warms me! to see someone who has such an amazing soul finally realising that for themselves is so inspiring and uplifting!!
I see so much of myself in you and your situation, and that's why this video hits sooo hard. We suffer these battles in silence, on our own and we end up pushing our bodies to unhealthy extremes. We feel guilty. We try to change, but get nothing. That's a circle that it's difficult to scape.
Same here. This was hard to watch but very sobering
It's so crazy how much she's actually glowing now that she loves herself. It's like a total different person. This is so astonishing to see
truly
It’s nuts. I was going to say the same - actually glowing with the self acceptance and happiness.
True... And her actual glow-up is visible in so many ways. She's smiling, she has that fire in her eyes, the words she speaks are so much wiser, she seems so much more fun to be around. And even her physical appearance: you can see that she allows herself to be pretty, to wear nice clothes, to experiment with makeup. I know the focus shouldn't be on the outside, but the difference is so huge it's hard to ignore. It seems as if she was punishing herself on purpose when she thought she was not enough (she didn't let herself wear nice clothes or hairstyles, she didn't post photos, didn't go out, when she clearly wanted to). I know the focus of this video is not the external appearance, but I think it's an important note to take for everyone who worries about it. What makes you externally beautiful is how you treat yourself, how you express yourself, it's wearing clothes you want to wear, posting photos you want to post, and generally doing what you want and not limiting yourself because you're not "perfect". If hoodies and messy buns make you feel free and comfortable, you are going to look much more beautiful in them than in fancy clothes that make you feel restrained and fake. If hoodies and messy buns make you feel icky and you prefer doing glam makeup and wearing dresses every day, then allow yourself to do just that. No matter how your skin or body looks, invest in your happiness and the external beauty will follow.
Praise Yeshua! Thank you for sharing this, I hope I work on it more. Everyone has felt this way in one way or another, we can grow and learn together
wow
God loves you! Repent and believe that Jesus paid the price for our sins! He can give you so much love, joy and peace!💕
@@Faithivations I am a believer of Yeshua HaMashiach! He is AWESOME and SO SO good to me!
@@youratwinklingstar5644 yesss!!
@diamondsukha1312 I’m so happy to find a fellow believer!!
My heart goes out to you Olivia, i feel so much compassion over you in this diary. We all have something that we are struggling with but some people seem to forget this and judge and be mean to other people's struggles. You are so amazing and genuine person, my love goes out to you. You are beautiful, brave and are doing so well, keep going.
I have never watched any of your other videos but watching this seems like something I needed to do. I have struggled with how I look and how my life is for so long and it’s so incredible that after a 30min video I feel happier- not just because I know I’m not alone but because I understand what I need to do. Accept this version of me, the last version of me and all the versions to come, but also I need to accept this life, the last one, and all of my futures because I can be happy if I try to and that is beautiful. Thank you
This proves that social media’s definition of “glowing up” is just making you feel worse about yourself.
Beauty standards and lifestyle trends can be so disgusting and really impact people’s lives.
Alivia I am so proud of you that you’ve overcome this. Keep on going girl. ❤️
that is so true honestly to the point now that it’s sad
I feel like part of the reason she was so hard on herself was the constant documenting and self reflection to the point of obsession. But I’m grateful some of it is documenting some things that so many people struggle with. Thank you for sharing your story, it made me feel less alone.
Yeah you explained it well.
I think no one can handle so much feed back, good or bad it's unhealthy to be judge by so many people we don't even know.
@chloevaillant9430 tbh, she should've kept her journey private if she wasn't mentally prepared for trolls on the Internet to tear her apart.
@@sowhat1674 Putting ourselves on the internet can't be a justification for online bullying. With that kind of reasonning you can make anyone guilty and deserving of any bad thing that happened to them. "Got into a car accident ? You should have know better and walk !"
Same this side I suddenly lost weight without effort and it felt bad when I gain weight it feels bad
It's all because of wanting to have an hour glass figure ..
And glass skin like Korean
And hair like them too
It all feel worse
I was once so uncomfortable with my skin body hair and light eye brows snd my big forehead
Now I'm different much comfortable but still there are days when I wish I could go out without using brow pensil and hijab protects my forehead insecurity but now I'm doing better alhamdulillah it's all because of the beauty standard of social media and girls and guys becoming judgemental
Girl.. I, too, used to be very concerned about my weight, although my weight gain was caused by something medical.
But then I became chronically ill and my body literally deterioted. I can no linger lift things, stand for long periods of time... no longer do sports I used to love... struggle playing the instruments I loved to play.
I am mourning the death of the healthy me. It took me this chronic illness to realise that my weight was so irrelevant as long as it didn't affect my health.
Damn girl, this may be one of the most important content to see for our generation. Our obsession with “succes” and “perfection” and “escaping the matrix” has lead to us not being able to tell illusion for reality anymore; forgetting to live in the PRESENT.
To me that was the biggest change I saw in you throughout this video. It pained me to see a girl who was so tormented about the imaginary "what should be" of the future while also restrained in shackles by the perceived failure of your past. You didn't seem alive, just coping. Then, you became a person who was present, alive, grateful, and accordingly, your existence excudes positivity; the kind of energy that truly inspires people, that draws people to you. In the end, the present is all we have and accepting ourself today to then grow from healthy motivation of LOVE, for ourselves and our surroundings, instead of fear and pain is the biggest favor we can do for our future self. And it's also the biggest F** you to a world trying to profit of our insecurities and fear.
Thank you SO much for being so raw and filling this journey, your story telling and editing is incredible. You have a special talent and your mission in this world is to share your view on this world. Thank you!
no it's not
@@meikusakabe4167 you feel better now?
ur generation is a fuckin mess and will never be normal lmao
shes literallt a product of dogshit from social media, she should be telling you how to be different not more like this dogshit persona
So true. I needed to hear this now more than anything
The failures are the best and most authentic part of this series, so I hate that people made you feel bad for not "taking too long". That's literally life
Facts
Fr !!
It's so dumb when ppl say it takes too long. They treat her journey like a book / movie / anything to buy. They forget it's her real life. It's such a toxic mindset to think change would happen fast and then everything is great all the time. That's only how it works in stories.
Change is hard and happens at varying rates. It is part of the negative aspect of announcing a desired change. Life is a journey with no schedule and no final destination, unless you know, the point at which you are no longer above ground. It’s all a journey and no one should be judged for how long it takes.
I feel like those comments were probably people projecting. People that hadn’t even accomplished it themselves
girl this video was so important to me, i had/have the same issues, ive lost weight, then gain again and i was entering in a loop thay i was like "noone understands me" and seeing your past thinking "damn... thats just how i am rn" was so important bc i feel i can finish this loop and start loving myself just like you!
(sorry for the mini vent)
You're so brave to share your story. Thanks for being real. You inspire me. 💫
It takes real guts to be this transparent and vulnerable on the internet. The fact that you even made this video is a testament to how brave and resilient you truly are. Give yourself credit where its due and be proud of yourself. You've earned it ♥️
I hope those giving the negative comments especially those in the fitness space see this and see what diet culture does to us all.
RARITY PFP
Your so strong because this is how I feel and it's important to share, your worthy regardless of what others say.
❤
this online community is/was so incredibly toxic. how bizarre that they made you feel like you let them down for not achieving certain goals in a certain time. there was never a problem with the way you looked, people just have fun making spectacles out of others' lives. It's so good to see that you're in a much better place and I truly hope that you find peace and happiness!
Exactly
I have to notice that the community is all US people. Not saying that unrealistic beauty standards don't exist everywhere, but the US takes it to a whole other level.
also prolly projecting. sadge
You ever heard of South Korea? 🤣🤣🤣 They literally gift _teenagers _*_plastic surgery (most common one being double eyelid surgery)_* for their sweet sixteen. The US isn't the best but GOD south-east asia takes it to a wholeeee another level. @@hadnoideahow
@@hadnoideahow and ur 100% RIGHT, i havent experienced it in other countries
Your mom’s comment about you loosing just a little bit of weight and you’ll look gorgeous 23:21 really is the origin of this whole struggle. That was a seed that was planted and grew into a nightmare and she is still devaluing your worth to your physical appearance. But now that you are more self aware, it’s good to see how far you have come and I applaud your growth 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
you’re one of the most inspiring people i’ve ever seen, thank you for the wonderful video, i’m so proud of you❤️
Sobbing my eyes out. "I don't wanna waste money on myself as I am right now. I'll wait until I'm smaller." That really hit so close to home. This video helped me so much. ❤ Thank you.
Omg yes!!!
For me, I would buy clothes that are a couple sizes too small just to force myself into motivation. I would say stuff like "If I restrict and exercise enough, I'll fit into these in a couple months." I could have bought myself something nice in my size, but I bought clothes as a punishment instead.
same that´s exactly how i feel rn
That was really eye-opening. I have been thinking that way and I didn't even realize how hurtful that sounds. Like, I deserve nice clothes and nice things no matter how I look, I don't have to wait until I'm "perfect" (that day will never come)
This was such an amazing insight! It spoke to me in a way I didn’t know I needed.
"When the external validation feels too good, theres usually another side to it." Word.
I hope the dating diaries are POSITIVE roller coasters!!!! You face literally GLOW UP! Please continue to love youself as who you are.❣
I relate to you sister, i’ve struggled with the exact same thoughts , losing and gaining weight, failing and succeeding. I’m half way there now after 6 years of constant up and downs, i’ve maintained myself for nearly a year now! I’ve been watching your glow up diaries since 2018, and it’s so painful to see you cry and say bad things about yourself. You are so beautiful inside and out, no matter the scale. My heart goes out to you for all the times you felt alone, just know you are perfect and you are amazing
This broke my heart. I did not know about your glow up diaries, I found this video by accident, but the footage of you crying in your car hit too close to home. I just wanted to hug your past self and tell you that everything is going to be ok, and then realized that maybe I wanted to say it to my past self as well.
You look so happy in the most recent footage, and I hope everything turns out great for you. Thank you for sharing your most vulnerable self with us
You're so truee we never hug our inner child n just run forward to chase external validation
😂q
just a reminder that we need to be kinder with the things we say ! you truly never know what people are going through.
so true!!
Thiss. Most people don't realize how words can hurt
True
absolutely. i was bullied horribly for my symptoms and illness and how it made me look when i had a 12 inch tumour in my stomach. they all made fun of me for being “lazy” (tired and in pain) and fat. all while i had cancer growing inside of me.
you are so strong i am so happy you finally found your own personal happiness. you truely deserve that and you truely fought for that. im so glad you did this to you
Like you said these kind of videos should be effective for people to feel better theirselves so i wanna say that this is the most realistic video I've ever seen and because of that this is the most motivating video also, thank you for that...
life isn't about glowing up, it's about growing up. you are growing and learning and becoming so much better and so much more than just a number on a scale. dude so inspiring that you posted this video and that you are willing to be vulnerable with yourself online, when you know that people can be so mean here. i'm really grateful for this video.
Me too
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
life isn't about glowing up, it's about growing up, wow
I agree! I personally “glowed up” because I grew up, I am unrecognizable to the people who used to know me because I changed my mindset about myself and now radiate confidence, it’s so much more than how you look.
same@@iamawesomeprods
To be honest, i think this is the most realistic and human thing ever, to keep falling down and getting discouraged struggling to keep up and get back up again. Usually on social media , we'll see someone start a diet vlog and then they lose all the weight or get fit and then everythings perfect lol. But this video really highlights the process some of us actually go through ❤ Alivia well done , we're all so proud of u 🫂
Exactly! People will complain and say it's triggering etc. but the reality is this is what it's like for a lot of us. I'm glad that there's an influencer who actually shows the harsh side of 'glowing up' and not what's deemed as pollitically correct. This girl is the real deal.
THIS IS SO SO POWERFUL AND RELATABLE. THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR THIS.
this is indeed true glow up. the path is never linear and its always filled with oh sooo many ups and downs but every up and down is necessary for you to reach where you're really supposed to be and this video shows just that. Loved the entire video and the entire glow up journey so much. Excited to see whats next! and also, Thank you so much for everything :)
the part of this that is so bizarre to me is that throughout this entire journey you were always beautiful. the genuine hatred you had for yourself is so unreal to me because i don’t understand how someone this beautiful inside and out could see themselves as anything less than perfect. so proud of you girl, this is so raw and special. a true authentic masterpiece.
Agreed!
Yesssss 🎉 She is a major babe!
So so so this ❤
Exactly and the bravery of putting it all online for us to connect is more than most people do. Being relatable in struggles most of us face is the true content we connect to.
The thing you eventually learn when you're on the other side of an experience like this is that it was never you. It was never about how you looked or about how you thought you looked, it's about the way society values and upholds certain aesthetics that most people can't live up to. And in striving for those aesthetics we end up losing who we truly are and are not able to see ourselves as beautiful and lovable.
i can't believe it's been 6 years... i started at 15 and now i'm 21
Samee!! I started at around 15 too! Currently I'm 21 haha! ❤
And what have you done with your life in that time?
Same !
@@willow1698 why that question? Are you expecting them to come tell you what they have done in their life between the ages of 15 & 21. Let's do you one better, what are you @willow1698 doing with your life?
@@nn-23I was about to clap back too lol. I thought Willow was just being rude to the og commenter, but I think she was actually being defensive for Alivia bc the og commenter's comment seemed like it could be negative. Now I'm wondering if it was actually negative, saying Alivia took forever to finish, or if they were just saying how crazy it is they followed her for that long
You're so brave for sharing it! Stay strong!
Seeing you cry broke my heart and hearing your thoughts and feelings made me feel so deeply :( you’re truly so so amazing and I am so proud of you and how far you come. Life isn’t easy and i feel you, but keep going ❤ we love and support you. People are cruel but we gotta remember that it reflects who they are as a person ❤
That part where she said “say something nice about yourself” and just cried…. That hit home 😢 I hope she finds inner peace
It looks like towards the end that she has a healthier view of herself and the external world, I do wish that she or anyone in a similar situation doesn't dismiss negativity from their parents in form of their unhealthy comments because sometimes parents do have expectations that are not in the best interest of their kid but in the interest of looking good as a family unit to the outside world and that is not okay, parents should be more supportive and loving.
I felt it to my core
Honestly I’ve been in the same position too many times. When you constantly criticize yourself, it’s almost impossible to compliment yourself...
questioning why you wanted to be accepted was so heart breaking to see. All humans want to be accepted we're social creatures. we love connecting and being safe with each other. everybody deserves acceptance
Exactly!!!
Connection is like our basic survival need!
such a beautiful soul ❤
exactly, it is instinctual for us to crave acceptance. 75,000 years ago if your community didn't accept you, you were quite literally left to die 😅
God loves you! Repent and believe that Jesus paid the price for our sins! He can give you so much love, joy and peace!💕
Thank you for being vulnerable, thank you for staying here with us, thank you for being you❤️ I care
Watching this made me feel terrible, ive gone through this before but your so brave for sharing this version of yourself for sharing your best moments and your worst. Just remember you look so pretty before and after! ❤
Your ability to organize your thoughts and feelings is quite remarkable. You have a real talent for film making
Oh yes true statement,this journey is inspiring apart from that she is very aware of her thoughts and feelings.and communication is perfect.whole framing of this film so profound that makes you curious to watch till the end.I agree the fact that she is talented in film making ❤ too
Agreed
thank u so much🤍
@@aliviadandrea omg hii u inspire me
people are so used to “glow up with me in a day” videos which are absolutely not attainable in the long term that real glow up videos like yours bore them. this is what a real glow up looks like, you have to come to terms with your insecurities and struggles to really glow up from within. i honestly feel not so alone whenever i watch your videos, they show the reality and are actually relatable
I noticed that these people who make vids on "glow up in a day" are always the pretty ones with no issues and sometimes rich as well, so glowing up to them is getting facial treatments, new haircut and hair colour, nails done, skincare with lots of products etc. Where everything looks pretty and aesthetically pleasing.
@@se-leneglow up was never meant to be anything beyond shallow. It’s your fault and hers for trying to make it more. That’s the issue with these trends. Y’all will see how it originated and then add a bunch of extra meaning to it to insist it have some deeper reason and It just doesn’t work like that all the time because it’s the internet and someone’s a fun trend is just a fun trend.
Whats a real glow up lol? They were never about emotions and intellect. Some of you just made it that because you can’t stand addressing issues on your Own without internet guidance nor can you allow for trivial trends. Everything must be greater than it actually is even to your own detriment
“glow up from within” that sums it all up I love that so much if you treat yourself like garbage and work on your outer appearance alone you’re just a garbage bag with a gucci belt🤷🏽♀️ the real work is within
@@Nothereforit174 your opening sentence should be framed!! people have been using something so shallow as a guiding tool for their whole life of course it’s not going to be sufficient :( just wish people knew the better alternative than the weekly inconsistent self hate driven glow ups
Some parts of this video made me cry. This feeling of "never enough" is devastating, like no matter what you do you always lose to that negative self-talk in your head. I'm happy you've found inner peace. Thank you for this documentary, it's genuine ❤
My heart broke seeing you cry so hard so many times, it made me think back to my younger self. And then the second half of the video made me feel so happy inside. You have worked so hard and a journey like that is not easy. You did that!! So happy for you and thank you for the inspirational video you have made. (Also, Im gonna treat myself to some pretty clothes because I have been thinking I should wait till Im 'back in shape' for a really long time now).
As a 16 year old girl, I want to say thank you. This video truly opened my eyes on struggles that people are going through and it's a reminder to always be kind and loving. Of course everybody struggles with things differently, but we really need to be there for each other and not only support unconditionally, but show empathy and be understanding. This is such an important documentary and thank you again for being courageous, posting it and sharing a strong message. 💛
I wish my family could hear you say this. You're right. Thank you also 💛
What a well rounded rational and polite response for a 16 yo. Nice
One ❤
Wow, in the last clip at the end, you look like a totally different person. And I'm not saying you physically look different but it's like something is radiating from within and shining through. You really have glowed up.
You can start to see it from her eyes and smiles when she starts accepting herself, it was like the love for herself made her eyes physically sparkle and smile radiate warmth. And it made her more beautiful than any specific weight could ever (i hope the last part makes sense)
Wdym by “something is radiating and shining from within” cuz she already fully loved herself in the clips before in the mall when she was at a heavier weight, so I think u may be biased and are actually referring to her physical appearance cuz why would u only refer to the last clip.
really happy for her. she looks like a new person in the last clip. is it the eyes?
What 😂 ? Or maybe it's because this clip was the one that was the most focused on her face and the longest ?? + she seemed excited about her new project?? Stop trying to see bad things everywhere
@@amethia34300 If anything the clip in the mall was more focused on her face and a lot longer... so maybe not. And if it's bc she is excited ab her new project than that "radiating" and "shining" "something" is an emotion called excitement which is not equivalent to a "glow up" i.e. loving yourself. I'm just pointing out that you may be biased and only called her "glowed up" in the non-physical sense when ONLY referring to and putting emphasis on the clip where she was externally "glowed up" and say she looks like a complete different person but then deny and disacknowledge that it has anything to do with her physical "glow up". Do u see what I'm getting at? I'm not even trying to see bad things, but I'm not sugarcoating either, I notice things and I'll say it how it is.
thank you for being so vulnerable online, you are so brave
Seeing you happy is bringing peace to my heart! You're such a strong and beautiful person inside out . Be yourself always ✨ Love you❣️
Alivia, you are a gift to this world. Your vulnerability, storytelling and these real and raw human emotions…it’s so beautiful so pure. Thank you for your perspective and continuous light ✨💫
Thank u Natalie 🥹🩵
"It was easy to be kind to myself when I was my ideal standard." ~ The line that should be the biggest takeaway from this video.
Translation: "ideal standard" means YOUR comfort level.
If you're comfortable, your mind is at ease.
Life is very adaptable because things are constantly changing, as time continuously moves forward things will continuously change.
It's important that your comfort level is adaptable through acquired wisdom from your life experience... to keep your mind at ease. 😉
And yes, I hijacked the current top comment! 😋
@@aliviadandreahonestly, your vulnerability to post all those videos in your lowest of LOWS. YOU, my friend, are more powerful than you’ll ever know. The sheer falseness of beauty that gets presented daily by how we should look and be was literally cut in half when you focused on what TRULY matters. When you spoke about wanted to be happy when you were a child… that spoke deeply to my soul. We are so much more than this body which is slowly dying, but our souls.. they live on. We need to make our spirits happy and never place them in the hands of people who could have the potential to destroy us. Thank you for sharing this journey with us, your message will touch MANY. I thank God for you. Special indeed.
Amen!! You are beautiful inside and out girl I can relate soo much
Your story so perfectly illustrates & narrates what is wrong within the entertainment industry. You've shown the angst that so many celebrities (especially women) go/are going through. In this new generation of CZcams and Instagram 15-min-celebrity fame where the net has widened and more and more wannabes are lured into it, there are even MORE casualties. It's all fools' gold. I really admire your open narration of what you've been going through. I hope and pray on your seeking journey that you also come to realise the TRUE answer is not to seek to be your own best friend but to seek God, through Jesus Christ and realise the true satisfaction of knowing Him and the peace and REAL friendship he has for you. He really is the BEST of the BEST friends you could ever hope for or realise. He created you, me, all of us and wants us to seek Him and know him for ourselves. He says "Come to me, all you who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest" That's the peace you need and crave. I pray you find Him - He promises that you will if you seek him with your whole heart. Also check out the story in the bible about Jesus and the woman of Samaria. I hope and pray you do, and report back on that. God bless you Alivia. @@aliviadandrea
I think this is the problem with social media. It destroyed this girl’s perception of reality.
I think social media does this to EVERYONE. I am rarely on social media now and my family gets offended when I don't associate with what's big news on FB or Twitter.
I think social media is the root cause of a lot of depression in people today.
What happened to her basically happened to me, the dopamine you get from going viral because of content you made centered around your appearance- it really does something to the brain. The comparing, obsessing about followers, always feeling not enough if you don’t get enough attention- it genuinely gave me an eating disorder. I feel like id be happier if I didnt have access to social media 24/7, the brainrot is real
It happened long before social media. The first magazine subscription my mother got me was Young Miss...a monthly reminder of how to be a totally conforming girl in the late 1970s. It is how to keep this aspect of capitalism going. Fashion and cosmetics and self-help(!) and more depend on making you feel inferior, ugly and needing product. No one is ever good enough.
Bravo to all who have opened their eyes.
@@supersonicskye I can't agree more.
exactly. it’s the social standards that kill people inside nowadays.
You’ll always see someone better than you and you’ll get obsessed to become that yourself
it’s actually concerning just how many people go through things like this…
I’m just so happy to see how happy you are at the end of the video, girl thank you so much for all the words you said and how you just shared some realistic things that a lot of people can relate to and thank you for being brave and honest and share your journey .
All the love 🥺🫶
I feel like this video needs to be shown in every school and college. It's so powerful, and contains knowledge that every human being needs. Thank you for sharing this
I wholeheartedly agree!
I agree this is very important and powerful.
100%
Instead the mass of teenage girls watch wizardliz who push this toxic glow up culture
People can be so cruel... Full gown adults still can be like a middle school bully.
Your raw authentic vulnerability is beautiful and an honor to witness. You are courageous to show yourself. I would love to have a friend like you
adults are just kids in an adults body
Thank you, i needed to hear that. I hope your love towards yourself never goes out, its looking strong enough to light up others hearts as well.
i love this!❤ this could be reality check to someone who is in the stage where you were in your old self. i am so happy for you to startinh love yourself, giving yourself nice things, and so on. i just loved your journey and i really mean iiit😭❤❤❤❤
Best glow up series I've ever seen. The physical attractiveness of weight changes, hair styles etc works great in a video format because it's so easily seen with the naked eye, and that's what social media has come to expect from "glow ups". But Alivia did a SOUL glow-up. It wasn't her body that was too heavy, it was her own spirit. Absolutely wonderful journey and thank you for sharing such a vulnerable and personal story.
This was the best possible ending. Literally in the middle of watching this i thought to myself: "she loves herself conditionally, she needs to learn how to love herself UNCONDITIONALLY (which is way easier said than done!!) BUT THEN YOU DID IT most satisfying real- life arc I've seen recently. Wow.
I am so sorry for everything everyone has said to you. The fact that the entire time during the video, I felt so sad because you *are* pretty. You are absolutely gorgeous. Also, if it offers any consolation, I genuinely want to look like you. Everyone has someone else they want to look like, someone else they want to *be.* Just because you or some other people can't see your beauty, doesn't mean it's not there!
This is so inspiring! I love hearing about the difficulty with self-acceptance. Loving and forgiving yourself at every version.
I turned 22 this year. I'm a VERY private person, I don't have an account on Instagram, facebook or anything. I keep my life very private and don't even share the best photos of mine. I keep them for myself. And I'm Extremely happy about myself, I care for myself, I love myself the most. I don't share my journey or struggles or anything for that matter with the public. There's no particular reason for it, It's just that I enjoy it this way, sharing the best moments with only the closed ones who really matter to me.
And I know it takes a lot of guts to share all your vulnerabilities online, I just loved this video and I respect you from the bottom of my heart that you were brave enough to show the world all your insecurities and struggles. Can't appreciate you enough.
I heartily wish you the best. Keep loving yourself, stay healthy, stay natural, don't let others define you.
I would like to tell this to everyone here, There is enough room for everyone and there are no more boxes to fit you in anymore. You are unique in your own way, Just stay healthy and happy inside. Don't seek validation from people who aren't even valid, they don't add anything to your life.
God Bless Everyone. I love you ❤
This comment is amazing, you are a wonderful person❤❤
This is soooo me ❤
💯💯💯
Love this comment. I’m not on social media either. I love you for this thank you ❤️❤️❤️
Theres something about that. I got married and posted that and people were like WTF WHAT??? hahaha its power
I broke down when she said "I want to forgive myself for everything that happened". And somehow it stuck with me, because I feel like I haven't and maybe I need to heal things that were broken. Thank you, you helped more than just yourself. You are helping a lot of people. ❤
I love this sm. I don't really struggle that bad with body image despite gaining and losing weight but this is such a genuine and raw documentation of her journey towards self-acceptance and self-love. I'm really happy that you finally gained that healthy mindset and found friends who support you no matter what. I wish you nothing but more happiness in life!
This is the real definition of glow up. Trying to love urself whatever u are.
Getting off most social media legit saved my life. Comparison culture is really the thief of all joy. I don’t spend hours staring at myself in the mirror. I don’t take selfies more than 3-4 per month. I don’t post pictures of myself anymore. I make a conscious effort to be mindful of the media and content I consume. I’m not perfect, I still catch myself comparing myself to others sometimes but I am so so so much kinder to myself than I used to be about how I look and I spend so much more time worrying about how I feel and how I’m growing my mind and my love. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I’m so happy I did because I wouldn’t still be here today if I didn’t find the strength to do it
i deleted all my social media apps, but i still have my accounts and sometimes i use the web versions to check stuff and because my fomo isn't entirely healed. Whenever i linger on them more than what it's needed i instantly notice how much it does affect me how i start comparing myself (my life, my body, my mind) to others, how i get nervous about other people's mindsets, and generally how much i feel worse after. It's terrible to think that before deleting them i did this to myself hours and hours each day, and i can't understand how i did it.
i am doing all the same things as you! i noticed early on that Instagram is such a bad world for me. i kept believing that what people choose to portray is their actual real lives, when its not. its not real. i constantly need to remind myself of that. I end up feeling this hatred towards them and myself because of Instagram. uninstalling the app itself has done so much for my mental health :")
Girl same. I've been doing the same for this past 3 years. I'm feeling great now. No Ig, no tiktok. But I still got my FB to check some stuff. Just my anime's community. Some funny videos. That's it. Nothing more. I don't post pics or post something about myself anymore. I don't follow anyone or add anyone. Just me and myself. 😂 This is the best decision I've made! No turning back. ❤
@@nadiahlee154 hell yeah!! ❤️
y'all are talking about social media and it feels like i'm the only one who also feels very insecure and jealous of people i see in real life. it's... hard. i see how pretty they are and i want to hide. because i am ugly, because i think they will think that too... and i always think that if they're laughing, they're laughing at me. bullying did it's job, i suppose 🙂 it's just sad. i used to think there are no ugly people, because all people look like people after all, and here i am now... being my own number 1 bully.
it could be an effect from being affected by social media of course, but i am just in general not very good looking to add on that. so yeah, fun little experiences of my everyday life :D
This documentary changed my view on my body so so much. Im still a bit self counscious bc i dont rlly know if im skinny or not ( Im a 6ft tall 14 year old who weighs around 144lbs) so like im often comparing myself to other ppl but this documentary made me analyse my mentality of things and how much I can imrpove that self cousciousness into becoming a better person on the inside. Thank you so much for this documentary im sure its going to be one of those videos no matter how hard you try to forget its just stuck to you now.
8 minutes in and this is the most resonate, poignant thing I've watched in months - thank you SO so much for sharing this - I didn't go through the same experience as you did with weight, but I do value my accomplishments and "success" metrics work-wise to a really high degree, often even if it comes at the expense of my mental well being, and have recently had similar revelations to quantify success by my own happiness with myself - this was so cathartic to watch, and I'm so happy to see you finally loving of yourself in all shades!
I watched your glow up diaries deep in my eating disorder. watching this one year into recovery and I am crying for myself and for you, for how normal it felt to hate ourselves, for how I punished my body over and over and over for simply existing. recovery is hard but I am doing much better now I am allowing my body to take the shape that it is healthy at rather than focusing on the image of healthiness that is drilled into us.
i watched her videos too, when i was struggling…now i‘m so much better and seeing this. seeing how my mindset has changed, too. it is amazing. And i am so happy for you that you are allowing yourself and your body to be happy and healthy. i‘m proud of you💞
100%, glad u’re doing better now
"Your happiness doesn't have to make sense to other people" is something I needed to hear for so long 😭 I can't recall how many times I tore myself down and stopped doing things that I loved because other people couldn't understand it. The true glow-up is healing, and I hope one day I get to feel the same self-love and happiness that you have now. It feels so hard to imagine a world where I could love myself, but I know I've loved myself before, so it's possible. Thank you so much for sharing your journey and being vulnerable. It's hard and you're incredibly strong for sharing this with the world. Please know that you've found something truly beautiful!
you're beautiful mah girllll... I'm happy to know that you're gonna be changed for yourself and your inner self which is really amazing...love you and a big huggggggggggiessssss for you. please always stay happy no matter what...and accept yourself just the way you're. I want you to love yourself and accept yourself and always be happy and greatful for whatever you have
❤️❤️❤️
You will certainly get there 🤍🤍🤍
I was so hesitant to call the true glow up healing; healing is so much moreee than that omg it’s a deep treatment that oozes out so much beauty, love, contentment and peace that the shallow “glow up” term can’t even compare truly wish it for everyone that went through glow up culture
Thank you so much for this video!
When I saw you punching down your „imperfect“ self, I just wanted to hug you.
It takes a lot of courage to share these things with the world.
Thank you for showing what depression can look like and supporting mental health awareness thereby.
Thank you for a video that can inspire many other people to find a healthy way to deal with their insecurities and build a loving relationship with their inner (and outer) selves.
Watching this while feeling low at 1am, currently sobbing quietly. I have suffered with severe depression for over 7 years, and although i have made so much progress, this made me realise that i am still seeking external validation. 'It's okay that you're not ____' broke me. Because I don't feel ANY love for myself and I'm terrified that I never will. I am so sorry you went through all of this - I wouldn't wish that pain on my worst enemy. But I am so glad you are learning to love yourself. I am sending you the biggest and most gentle air hug. Thank you for your bravery in sharing your story
“When we seek validation from others to feel worthy, we start to believe that our worthiness depends on their approval and acceptance”
Wow!!!!
Word💯💯💯💯
@@RabiaMukasoro28yes! You give them the power that should be yours alone. ❤/ it takes the focus off what matters/ what one truly desires/ wants/ the focus off of who truly loves you.
In which minute of video?