How To Be A Good Wife To My Husband | Paul Friedman
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- čas přidán 22. 02. 2020
- Have you asked yourself if you are being a good wife to your husband? Watch Paul explain in this video some tips on how you would treat your husband to make your marriage amazing.
When you're in a marriage you're not there to make yourself happy. You're there to make your spouse happy Doesn't that make sense, and they're there to make you happy but you can't hold them to that and here's the cosmic secret to it all. The more love you give
the more love you feel -- it's true. It's a very deep spiritual reality. It's as strong as gravity but no one told you that. When you got married you started having expectations of how he would treat you rather than having expectations of yourself and how you would treat him and I've seen all this because I was a divorce mediator before and people would come in and see me, "He did this, she did that blah blah blah blah," it was all blame.
They hated each other by the time they came to see me and it was made worse because they were sent to me by therapist who failed them. They went to a therapist to heal their
marriage and they failed which is usual people don't know that but it's the truth. And so, I had one couple come in and I said, "Why are you getting a divorce?" And they both started to cry, "We don't want to. We don't know what else to do." Okay, let me try and figure it out.
I know a few things about communication and at that time I thought everything was communication.
If you learn how to communicate, if you learn how to negotiate tells you a little bit about
my practice which is was divorce mediation but I walked out of the office that day and they were very excited "Oh boy, maybe we can't save our marriage." I walked out and I said, "Oh my God, what did I get myself into? What am I going to do?" I couldn't ask the therapist. I asked a couple of them, "What should I do?" And they went, "Well, find out about their
childhood." I'm like, "No, I'm not a therapist. I don't care about their childhood." "Well, find out about influences from in-laws, influences from work," and I'm going, "No that doesn't sound right to me." It's not right. You go through troubles in life, who doesn't?
But when you're married, you're supposed to go through them together giving each other's
strength and support. So I thought, "Okay, I got to start someplace. Let me start with
a question. Why do you get married?" And they went, "Oh my God, I didn't know the answer."
At that time, I didn't know the answer and for a couple weeks I worked on it and they started asking my friends. I started asking people I didn't know. I would be in Starbucks and I go, "I got a question for you." No one had a good answer. Everyone had a good answer like
"Oh, I married my soul mate because they're blah blah blah. I just wanted to be with someone so I wouldn't be alone. I wanted to have children." Good answers but they weren't
universal to me. It didn't sound like this is the ultimate, it took me a while to realize.
So, what is the answer?
The answer is you get married because you want to be happier. Well, those things will make you happy, what not universally not everyone wants a child but some people want to spend time by themselves in the woods or knitting or whatever. And I thought okay, what universally makes you happy? Well, universally makes you happy?
Love -- and then I started with probing this question and I've realized some very deep realities. Here's one, this will blow your mind. Forget me -- if Jesus or Moses or
Muhammad whoever you see as the all-time great prophet from God came to you at
this very moment and gave you just love. You would not allow it in because you have these protective barriers and I thought, okay that's true. Isn't it, true?
Think about it and I thought, "So, how does this work?" I realized how it works is you got to give love and I'll tell you how I discovered this. I discovered this because I have kids and the time I like the best is when I would watch him sleep and my heart would just open up and I recalled that, my heart just opened up they weren't saying, "Daddy, I love you. You're the greatest. Oh my God, your hair is so beautiful." I wasn't getting any of that. I just loved that and I felt more loved in those moments than any other time and I thought this is pretty cool and I realized it's not the love you give will bring love back -- that's not how it works, that's what people think but that's not how it works.
The love you give allows God's love because God is ultimate. God's love to flow through you
at a greater and greater level based on using your free will and it fills you with love. I now had a premise to go back to my first couple with and I said, "Okay here's the deal. What are the things that create love? What are loving behaviors? What are things that are not loving
behaviors?" I laid it all out. They did it with me. We did it together not so hard.
Watch the video for more.
#goodwife #marriageproblems #marriagegoals #lovewins #love #maritalproblems
Sincere and determined people need truthful information and a good plan to escape the cycle and hole you are in. Incredible marriages ARE possible. They are achieved by:
1. Learning about the mind and mastering it so your changes are permanent and you are always growing.
2. Learning how to behave, and not behave in marriage friendly ways
3. Making unconditional love and ever-expanding happiness your primary and constant missions.
Go to themarriagefoundation.org and get the course if you need it. Now is not the time to experiment. It is the time for positive action.
God is sending me my husband very soon. He’s preparing me to be a good wife.
Thank you for this video ❤
I'm doing it far in advance. (So maybe it'll be closer than I think.) I'm not married or dating right now. I've been a single mom for many years.
You're right, there is nothing like the content you put out there. As our society becomes more and more narcissistic as a whole, I'm sure it's hard to hear for most folks. But I am Truly inspired by your perseverance to relegate the normal "no or low effort" approach to being married. I'm rooting for you
I appreciate you appreciating me lol
Perfect lecture
You’re my angel.
thanks so much
How do I get your book
You can go to Amazon www.amazon.com/Breaking-Cycle-Marriage-Foundation/dp/0988594013 or you can come to our website themarriagefoundation.org/breaking-the-cycle/ and look around while you are there.
How do I be a good wife
This video, it is true, touches only on the beginning steps. The best approach is to realign yourslef with your true you, the soul. I have a great technique in the marriage help course for women and so much else. You may want to look into getting the course.
Hello, could you donate a book to me please
We would love to but then we would be unfair to all who pay for theirs and we cannot do that