Truf!! If you think men are bad leaders you don’t have to be in a relationship with him, you don’t have to have kids with him, you don’t have to have any type of contact with him. You can just be alone until you find someone that’s good.
This generation is exhausting 😢. They do a great deal of talking, talking, and talking, but so little acting. Everything for them is a " THING"! EVERYTHING! Do they EVER breathe? I feel sorry for them because I feel like may be the most "lost" generation. I am not completely certain what they need exactly, but I hope they get it.
They're lost because women aren't willing to change or listen. In addition there are entirely too many women who are "leading". He literally politely called the women out for their lack of leadership
@@mca217 I agree. It's cool to shine a light on " problems" but EVERYTHING IS NOT A PROBLEM! And the focus needs to be on solutions not just talking, talking talking...
And THIS is why the conversation in the black community remains toxic with no solutions. There is too much nuance allowed in and nobody takes 100% responsibility for its demise. You'd not ever see in court where a victim was blamed for being unalived by an intoxicated person. In this community the DECISION of the person to get in the car has to be analyzed. No real sympathy ever.
Men blaming women, women blaming men, no communication, material and money is all its,about, nobody up front about who o what they want, to many Indians and not enough chiefs. Opinionated, judgemental is all blacks go thru. No solutions.
PARENTS MUST TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY for this generational curse we're seeing now too. The issue that is NEVER discussed is that our parents and generations before us are NEVER made responsible for not teaching us HOW TO BE GOOD SPOUSES or how to be MEN AND WOMEN OF HONOR. They get to skate by with the excuse "Well, we did the best we could in raising you." That's absolving them of the responsibilities. The Bible says that they are to train up a child in the way they should go. How many parents have TRULY done a good job of that in the last 70 years?
Maybe we shouldn't keep wasting our time with trying to make traditional "man leader woman follower" relationships work. Egalitarian relationships don't have these problems, and they ultimately lead to better relationships because it teaches people how to collaborate rather than dominate.
Because I've never met a woman who's decision making capability/process I would be able to trust. It's actually not healthy to act like we are equal in that capacity when we are not. Leadership isn't an area where even a small dip in potential quality is acceptable. Because leadership touches everything. If when we disagree you might have a better idea than me 10% of the time, there's no way that entitles you to make 50% of the decisions. The math just ain't mathing.
@@JCPRuckus well the first step of succeeding in an egalitarian relationship is not being a sexist prick. People who talk like you are almost always the problem
That takes self-awareness, something lacking all-the-way-around these days. It's crazy, everybody wants to be victims. They don't just want to be victims, they need to be. They simply can't face that mirror. It's sickening and has created a sick society and I I'm sick of it. Oh shucks, Kendrick got me in my feels, I'm out here battle rapping, smh.
Funny how quiet the audience always gets in these conversations when they say anything to hold women” accountable. But when it’s regarding the man, the crowd cheers like a freaking playoff game
Yes yes, we all have to take accountability for the role we play because even if someone did us wrong, we still allowed it and sometimes we allow it to keep happening instead of learning from it! It takes two in a relationship and there’s three sides to every story, his side, her side and the truth
We’ve had a lot of examples of what NOT to do. We’re told and shown the consequences of doing things the wrong way. Logic would dictate then black men would try doing the opposite of what hasn’t been working cuz that just might work. Common sense isnt so common i guess
What purpose does leadership even play other than the fact that men get off on being in control? Women have no desire to be led, what women want are men who are not followers and men who handle what they need to be handle and take the INITIATIVE in doing the things they are supposed to be doing, that's not necessarily leadership and in life there really is not much room or necessity for all of this constant leadership. Its more a matter of people needing to all try to be their best selves and to LEAD BY EXAMPLE with how they behave, and how they treat others but that's not what men are talking about when men talk about being leaders, its about being in an unquestionable place to where they get to set the agenda and tell everyone what to do without being challenged.
Ask yourself, "what role does leadership play with your children? I mean other than the fact that mothers get off telling their kids what to do, and being in control. Sometimes you have to reverse engineer a question to see the value in the question and the answers.
@@Lisa_Lisa312 No mothers and parents don't "get off" on telling their kids what to do though, its literally their job to teach and discipline their children...who are children and have no idea what they are doing or the consequences so that's not a good example of what you are trying and failing to do. if you listen to 99% of the men in these spaces its all boiling down to men wanting control over what women wear, who they sleep with, how they talk, what they like, what they want, who they want,, the list goes on and on. And unfortunately 99% of the men engaging in it are not what women are looking for...
Well I'm supposedly a horrible person, the 1% locked out of heaven, so I can't teach and disciplines anyone, because I'm unfit and unqualified. So I'm just a kid showing up in my red shoes, clicking them together and repeating "There is no place like home." And home is where the toxic roam. 😂😂😂😂 I guess I'm a glutton for punishment and abuse. ✌️😘
Seek therapy. We keep trying to explain why your thought process is incorrect, but you don't get it. The only woman a man wants to lead, is a woman he will lay his life down for. Maybe you don't want that type of protection. Most women do. But to get that type of protection, you have to be willing to move left when I say move left. Your life could depend on your ability to be lead. But if you are a woman that thinks this type of leadership brings too many other problems, then it's just not for you. What you don't get is protection without the leadership. A man that would lay his life down for a woman that won't go left for him is a fool. The womrn that have trauma from following the wrong men, need therapy.
@@dredey1971 Look, mammy, if you want to let one of these men lead you to ruin, have at it but the reality is, most men are not going anywhere and their leadership is SELF SERVING. So you will never get anything other than the ability to say you have a man, even though you may be sharing him. But that's enough for some... Most men are not leaders, they are bossy and self centered and everything they do is ultimately for themselves, what they do for others, they get off on being the guy doing for others, its not selfless, christlike servant-leadership.so it has no true value to women. And why would anyone want to be in a position where they need all this protection? where are you planning on living? the South Side of Chicago dodging bullets and barricading the door for robbers? Most women will never bein in a position where they will ever actually need protection from anything a man can actually protect them from... So that thing many claim to bring amounts to nothing... And we all know about the amount of provision most men are bringing in.
I will never understand how you can claim Someone is a bad leader You don't even know how to be a good follower... Much less have any idea on who you should be following.
you can look at someone's life to determine if they are a bad leader. For example, is the person a man over the age of 25 and still living at home? If so, this man cannot lead his own life!!
@nmhoskins context is needed...if he's 25 living at home and ACTUALLY saving money, building his career/ busimess or sincerely working to buy a home then it's not a bad thing. But if he's drinkin, getting hi and tricking off his money and buying material things then that's bad. We can't rush our kids out the nest then say we building generational wealth, that dont add up
He always keeping it real but if you really dive into what he is saying it's truth behind it. It always amazing to me when a women has kids with a deadbeat but then complains about him knowing how he was before the kids got here. I mean it's common sense. Or you dating a man for years and years and he can't keep a job. I mean he showing you who he is. It's your choice to make a life with that. But don't complain when it don't turn out how you want it. Smh
Very true. Many men I have met and dated all raised by single mothers. A woman can't teach a man how to be a man in fact she's usually mad at men and teaches him to be angry too if she means it or not. They grow up disfunctional and are the same in relationships. A child needs BOTH . Mom and dad. Ladies, keep your legs closed until you find a good man that wants a child with you. Enough excuses it's getting old. A baby shouldn't be weaponized and have a job before it's even born.
I agree and to add to what you said…is that both need Mom and Dad need to be good examples. Some two parent households are just as toxic, if not more than these “single” parent households
Dear brothas This thing called life is no doubt EXCRUCIATINGLY hard! But, for me, choosing you is no more a choice than choosing to take my next breath. Let’s do the work together. Pour into me as I pour into you… our community depends on it. Much Peace Your Sistas
Then we aint getting anywhere because why am i going to waste my time having a hollistic conversation with someone who is broken basically asking them to practice fixing themselves on me when there is a man somewhere that used to be broken but took it upon himself to fix himself and he dont want to talk or practice on me... he wants to love me.
He's talking about the grand scheme, not a personal conversation with a singular man. A lot of women unfortunately aren't great followers, or they Believe that letting a man lead somehow takes away from them. While they might desperately want it, they actively fight against it. That man who will love a woman, & lead her, possibly is dealing with a woman that's unwilling. Unless we have a conversation about both sides, we're constantly blaming one side (the men) for the dynamic that both contribute to, especially in the black community
A better question would be are you as good of a follower as you think you are. Again we aren’t talking about the broken man, we are talking about the man that has the good leadership and is whole and is looking for a woman who can bring value to his life and be that counsel and confidante. We’re talking about the man who has his ish together. If you come across that man tomorrow are you the woman that you need to be to play the role you yourself are looking to play. Are you a Queen for a King or have you been telling yourself a false narrative this whole time.
Beloved, you assumed that you're not broken too. You assumed that the "fixed" man is going to want to love the broken you. That's what he's speaking to, no one is or has ever said to let anyone dog you out, man or woman. But you often attract what you are so at what point do you take a step back to re-certify your own credentials?
As always tripp shooting from the logo. The part that most will say is "i need to truat you to follow you..." which means they are gonna watch you and ANY mistake is grounds for them to take over. You will see this in a partner asking for help on a task they could not complete but they wanting to control how you do it and if you mess up then that proves you are incapable OR the classic wait til the last minute on something they could have mentioned to you in passing weeks ago, now its the last minute and you will probably fail. Many of these people want you to emotionally fight them to be allowed to love them and that is exhausting.
I'm 54, I have had no bad leaders. When I recognized poor leadership ability I politely mapped my course and followed it. My endeavors have been a solo mission, no one to blame or fingerpoint at for any failed outcomes, it's on me.
I disagree with the ‘black men haven’t had good examples of good leadership’. I feel like that’s a bit of a cop out and sidesteps our ownership in that. I would say, it’s generally more appropriate to address it as ‘we didn’t listen to the good leadership examples we had had around us’. Unless you lived completely isolated from other black people, we probably had some great black leaders around us to learn from, but it didn’t look like something we respected, like the black janitor at our school who worked 2-3 jobs to put his kids through school, or the black men who worked for the city, that also sold bbq plates for the local churches on the weekend. These examples were all around us, and we never really paid them any attention cause they weren’t “above us”, but right beside us instead. This is something that both black men and women have failed at; we don’t see value in our equals. We only see value in those who rise ‘above’ or ‘ahead’ of us; looking for them to reach back and give to us, rather than be galvanized by their progress to achieve our own. It’s a plight that has plagued our communities for decades, even though our great grand parents and grandparents taught us better. Smh
No one here has mentioned love. The Bible is clear that a man should cherish his wife as his own body. To cherish someone is to love. Loving oneself is an absolute requirement of both men and women before marriage and even dating. Love conquers all. It is not leadership. This is office jargon. It is love that binds two hearts. In sickness and in health. Be still. Listen to your heart. It will let you know if you still require healing and then love yourself from there first. ❤
However people tend to choose a mate based access and proximity thus many Black women find themselves in desperate situations when she wants a Black male as her partner; primarily because of the onslaught that our men face in this world: incarceration, high unemployment, few role models and unstable environments. Unfortunately what's left for choosing is a mixed bag of high calibers who prefer other races of women, gay and or queer men, the career criminal, married men or sugar daddies and the occasional diamond in which you have to be an expert jeweler to see and pursue before the rest of the women notice him. I've been married to my diamond for 30 years but I had to know at age 14 that the young man of coal would one day be a shining diamond after facing the pressures of life. Young women must see the potential early on, grab on to what you see and stay committed to him and the Lord who smooths out the rough edges and gives you that beautiful jewel.
It's hard for black men especially if you never had proper direction. But it's even harder if you don't take time out to self evaluate and make changes to break that toxic cycle.
Lol would it not be hard for Black women too? And that excuse is cool when you're like 12.. but a lot of these men are 30 talking about they just didn't have good examples.. okay, then do something about it, you're a grown man.
@jas1565 The reality is just that. Some men have not been exposed to a different way of thinking. That's not an excuse. I know brothers who are really stuck because there exposure to certain things we're limited.
If you need your back blown out the lm get your back blown out. Don’t have a whole baby with a guy that you know isn’t a leader, and not a street leader that you think you can change. If you get pregnant, why bring a child into a toxic decision you made based on what it feels like.
The truth can sting sometimes. I'm about to bring the stur up hornets' nest. If we can keep it 💯, leadership isn't the problem. Follow me for a minute. It's like when they say, "Oh there's no good men out here," or "All men are dogs." That's simply not true. There are good men everywhere. Find a very attractive woman and you'll likely find a handful of good men in her friendzone. Look to all the brothas that be "simpin", and you'll likely find good men. Even in the struggle, brothas with thin pockets, tryna make a dollar out of 15 cents. There are good men everywhere. They're just not the men that these women want. The same concept applies to leaders. These women don't want good leaders. Stay with me now, I'm going somewhere with this. These women don't like to be told what to do. You can try leading them all you want. They will make bad decision after bad decision after bad decision doing what THEY want to do. Meanwhile ignoring the advice of that good man in their friendzone, ignoring the advice of that big or little brother, ignoring the preachings of the pastor. Yet...they'll listen to their girlfriends, they'll listen to other divorced or single women, they'll listen to the baddest bitches on rap songs and reality TV. Then when all hell is breaking loose in their lives, 1) there's no self accountability at all, and 2) there are no good leaders out there. The men who display leadership are told (by those type of women) "You're controlling." Crazy enough, the women who recognize good leadership end up married to these so-called controlling men. And I know we've heard this one before because Kita said it herself one show. Something like, "Show me you're a leader AND THEN I'll follow you." Which is BS because you can't tell her anything, you're controlling, and she still wants to do what she wants to do. Which if you took a census of the women in that audience, likely well over 90% of those women fall into that category. The leaders are out here. The good men are out here. Falling under leadership requires submission. And we've had those talks. Those women don't want to submit. They want who and what they want without the consequences and accountability. And the real world don't work like that, which is why so many of those women have those problems. The leaders are out here and in strong numbers. The devils army of destroyers are out here too. Those women stay choosing the destroyers over the leaders. This is nothing new. Eve followed the word of the serpent over the word of God and Adam. Modern day eves are doing the same thing. And modern day Adams are following these women right into destruction. Which is why it's more appealing and beneficial to be the bad guy that they desire. The real problem ain't about leadership, it's about submission and the lack thereof.
This is my problem with this leader/follower dynamic. You inherently make yourself an unequal partner in a relationship. You defer to someone who may or may not be qualified. I will never understand people who are so quick/willing to check out of accountability and growth b/c theyre stuck in this antiquated leader/follower mentality. Do yourself (and the relationship youre trying to build) a favor and choose to be on equal footing and equal standing with your partner. Let yourself be happy by choosing to build a partnership not some old world bs. If youre running around, waiting to be led, then youre not being an active participant in your own life. That makes you a sheep and we know what happens to livestiock 🤷🏾♂️. Be the farmer.
Men's leadership w/ lack of examples fair.... While women DO NOT WANT TO FOLLOW AND are told how to cooperate with men by other oldee women to which THE LADIES NEVER LISTEN
You cant down a man if you were not there to make a good example for him to love you, for him to trust in you snd for him to be emotional in front you. Stop making bad decisions with men, and still blame him for them. A man and a women will treat you the way you let them. If you do not see value in yourself, they wont see it in you either.
But why dont black men seek to be around good black men or surround themselves with black men that will uplift them. Why do some just sit in their depression and play victim for years? Like im genuinely curious
We are into the third generation of baby mama culture. We have young black men today whose grandparents weren't raised with fathers in the home...so males are growing up feminized. And we have also destroyed the patriarchy which is the social framework that teaches each generation of males how to be men. Those forums don't exist anymore. Feminists destroyed the male spaces where such socialization could have occurred, and the new feminized males don't know how to create those spaces themselves.
They DO family. Sports circles, video game circles, art circles, there are PLENTY of circles of “good black men”.. a lot of y’all CHOOSE to ignore them because they’re “corny” or “lame”.
The same reason some women choose to be around low vibrational women and act like they can’t learn to do better. The easy way typically keeps you down.
Bruh is talking about accountability .... Ladies! Men have to be accountable bc society is ALWAYS holding men accountable for something ...but where's your accountability ladies? Hmmmm...all I hear are crickets. Well ladies? I'm waiting
This whole concept of men being the leaders and women being the followers comes from Scripture. If you're not first studying scripture to learn how to carry out your role-whether as the leader or follower-then this whole conversation is pointless. Until we agree that scripture is final authority, we'll keep following destructive ideologies that offer more hurt than healing.
stop all this leadership role, that women can lead her self, she just need a good love maker, a man that eat her puccy the right way, other then that ?, so you both are leaders, you sit down and talk about what is going on and what is best for all situation, about the kids ect, when you find disagreement you sit down and talk throw it, stop all this wanting to be right about everything, all black men are like this, they are always right about BS, and a lot of women have become like this, community and communication {communi}
Truf!! If you think men are bad leaders you don’t have to be in a relationship with him, you don’t have to have kids with him, you don’t have to have any type of contact with him. You can just be alone until you find someone that’s good.
💯‼️‼️
💯💯💯💯💯🌟
Or just be alone period. The issue is many are simply broken and would be better off alone in their bitterness or with someone of the same gender.
@@bigde131
Agreed! Some ppl just need to stay tf away from everyone else. Some ppl are just a lost cause, unfortunately.
Have you seen the numbers of alone in our community?
Tripp NEVER misses the point 💯
He right!!! When you see a bad leader, get the fuc out the way!!!!
I wholeheartedly agree!!! I know I've made many bad decisions. I had to take a break and check myself.
That's the key to growth. Self-reflection. Once you can see yourself clearly everything else comes into focus.
This generation is exhausting 😢. They do a great deal of talking, talking, and talking, but so little acting. Everything for them is a " THING"! EVERYTHING! Do they EVER breathe? I feel sorry for them because I feel like may be the most "lost" generation. I am not completely certain what they need exactly, but I hope they get it.
They're lost because women aren't willing to change or listen. In addition there are entirely too many women who are "leading". He literally politely called the women out for their lack of leadership
I agree. I feel very out of place. I love hard. I'm sensitive. I'm an empath. I care alot about others.
That's the issue. People whine about problems without giving solutions.
@@Lovelove77788 Keep that energy! It is EXACTLY what the world 🌎 needs.
@@mca217 I agree. It's cool to shine a light on " problems" but EVERYTHING IS NOT A PROBLEM! And the focus needs to be on solutions not just talking, talking talking...
And THIS is why the conversation in the black community remains toxic with no solutions. There is too much nuance allowed in and nobody takes 100% responsibility for its demise. You'd not ever see in court where a victim was blamed for being unalived by an intoxicated person. In this community the DECISION of the person to get in the car has to be analyzed. No real sympathy ever.
Men blaming women, women blaming men, no communication, material and money is all its,about, nobody up front about who o what they want, to many Indians and not enough chiefs. Opinionated, judgemental is all blacks go thru. No solutions.
Facts. Folks will “why did she fall on his knife” every situation. So sad
So, 200% responsibility?
PARENTS MUST TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY for this generational curse we're seeing now too. The issue that is NEVER discussed is that our parents and generations before us are NEVER made responsible for not teaching us HOW TO BE GOOD SPOUSES or how to be MEN AND WOMEN OF HONOR. They get to skate by with the excuse "Well, we did the best we could in raising you." That's absolving them of the responsibilities. The Bible says that they are to train up a child in the way they should go. How many parents have TRULY done a good job of that in the last 70 years?
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
This is the best post..
Maybe we shouldn't keep wasting our time with trying to make traditional "man leader woman follower" relationships work.
Egalitarian relationships don't have these problems, and they ultimately lead to better relationships because it teaches people how to collaborate rather than dominate.
Exactly 💯
Exactly this! People want to be told what to do so bad. Build a partnership, I promise you its worth it.
Exactly it's a partnership and companionship. Not some horrible skewed version of love.
Because I've never met a woman who's decision making capability/process I would be able to trust. It's actually not healthy to act like we are equal in that capacity when we are not. Leadership isn't an area where even a small dip in potential quality is acceptable. Because leadership touches everything.
If when we disagree you might have a better idea than me 10% of the time, there's no way that entitles you to make 50% of the decisions. The math just ain't mathing.
@@JCPRuckus well the first step of succeeding in an egalitarian relationship is not being a sexist prick. People who talk like you are almost always the problem
Sometimes you have to listen. They know they are wrong. Those men. And those men want you to die trying🤷🏽♂️🤔🤦🏾♂️😪
That takes self-awareness, something lacking all-the-way-around these days. It's crazy, everybody wants to be victims. They don't just want to be victims, they need to be. They simply can't face that mirror. It's sickening and has created a sick society and I I'm sick of it. Oh shucks, Kendrick got me in my feels, I'm out here battle rapping, smh.
Funny how quiet the audience always gets in these conversations when they say anything to hold women” accountable.
But when it’s regarding the man, the crowd cheers like a freaking playoff game
Yes yes, we all have to take accountability for the role we play because even if someone did us wrong, we still allowed it and sometimes we allow it to keep happening instead of learning from it! It takes two in a relationship and there’s three sides to every story, his side, her side and the truth
I didn't hear a word you said you're absolutely gorgeous 😃
Because most people are unhealed & immature.
How do you take accountability and simultaneously throw blame
I agree, I hear word salad here!
Tripp is a critical thinker that’s a very wise brother
Great conversation!!
TRIPP FOR PRESIDENT!!
We’ve had a lot of examples of what NOT to do. We’re told and shown the consequences of doing things the wrong way. Logic would dictate then black men would try doing the opposite of what hasn’t been working cuz that just might work. Common sense isnt so common i guess
It's not always the opposite. Honestly the guidebook to use is the Bible but people don't want to hear that.
What purpose does leadership even play other than the fact that men get off on being in control? Women have no desire to be led, what women want are men who are not followers and men who handle what they need to be handle and take the INITIATIVE in doing the things they are supposed to be doing, that's not necessarily leadership and in life there really is not much room or necessity for all of this constant leadership. Its more a matter of people needing to all try to be their best selves and to LEAD BY EXAMPLE with how they behave, and how they treat others but that's not what men are talking about when men talk about being leaders, its about being in an unquestionable place to where they get to set the agenda and tell everyone what to do without being challenged.
Ask yourself, "what role does leadership play with your children? I mean other than the fact that mothers get off telling their kids what to do, and being in control. Sometimes you have to reverse engineer a question to see the value in the question and the answers.
@@Lisa_Lisa312 No mothers and parents don't "get off" on telling their kids what to do though, its literally their job to teach and discipline their children...who are children and have no idea what they are doing or the consequences so that's not a good example of what you are trying and failing to do. if you listen to 99% of the men in these spaces its all boiling down to men wanting control over what women wear, who they sleep with, how they talk, what they like, what they want, who they want,, the list goes on and on. And unfortunately 99% of the men engaging in it are not what women are looking for...
Well I'm supposedly a horrible person, the 1% locked out of heaven, so I can't teach and disciplines anyone, because I'm unfit and unqualified. So I'm just a kid showing up in my red shoes, clicking them together and repeating "There is no place like home." And home is where the toxic roam. 😂😂😂😂 I guess I'm a glutton for punishment and abuse. ✌️😘
Seek therapy. We keep trying to explain why your thought process is incorrect, but you don't get it.
The only woman a man wants to lead, is a woman he will lay his life down for. Maybe you don't want that type of protection. Most women do.
But to get that type of protection, you have to be willing to move left when I say move left. Your life could depend on your ability to be lead. But if you are a woman that thinks this type of leadership brings too many other problems, then it's just not for you.
What you don't get is protection without the leadership. A man that would lay his life down for a woman that won't go left for him is a fool. The womrn that have trauma from following the wrong men, need therapy.
@@dredey1971 Look, mammy, if you want to let one of these men lead you to ruin, have at it but the reality is, most men are not going anywhere and their leadership is SELF SERVING. So you will never get anything other than the ability to say you have a man, even though you may be sharing him. But that's enough for some... Most men are not leaders, they are bossy and self centered and everything they do is ultimately for themselves, what they do for others, they get off on being the guy doing for others, its not selfless, christlike servant-leadership.so it has no true value to women. And why would anyone want to be in a position where they need all this protection? where are you planning on living? the South Side of Chicago dodging bullets and barricading the door for robbers? Most women will never bein in a position where they will ever actually need protection from anything a man can actually protect them from... So that thing many claim to bring amounts to nothing... And we all know about the amount of provision most men are bringing in.
When? Never!!! That's when. Its a constant cycle of action, blame, regret, repeat.
Facts they're always so quick to blame others, but never hold themselves accountable for their adult decisions or lack their of.
You mean like when he was asked a question about men and their accountability he found a way to blame the woman? 🤡🤣🤣🤣
Well Said ❤am there for real!!!!
I will never understand how you can claim Someone is a bad leader You don't even know how to be a good follower... Much less have any idea on who you should be following.
There are no claims only facts black men aren't leaders the end
you can look at someone's life to determine if they are a bad leader.
For example, is the person a man over the age of 25 and still living at home?
If so, this man cannot lead his own life!!
@nmhoskins context is needed...if he's 25 living at home and ACTUALLY saving money, building his career/ busimess or sincerely working to buy a home then it's not a bad thing. But if he's drinkin, getting hi and tricking off his money and buying material things then that's bad. We can't rush our kids out the nest then say we building generational wealth, that dont add up
He always keeping it real but if you really dive into what he is saying it's truth behind it. It always amazing to me when a women has kids with a deadbeat but then complains about him knowing how he was before the kids got here. I mean it's common sense. Or you dating a man for years and years and he can't keep a job. I mean he showing you who he is. It's your choice to make a life with that. But don't complain when it don't turn out how you want it. Smh
That part!!
Agreed! It's both sides..women need to stop blaming men ONLY.
Very true. Many men I have met and dated all raised by single mothers. A woman can't teach a man how to be a man in fact she's usually mad at men and teaches him to be angry too if she means it or not. They grow up disfunctional and are the same in relationships. A child needs BOTH . Mom and dad. Ladies, keep your legs closed until you find a good man that wants a child with you. Enough excuses it's getting old. A baby shouldn't be weaponized and have a job before it's even born.
I agree and to add to what you said…is that both need Mom and Dad need to be good examples. Some two parent households are just as toxic, if not more than these “single” parent households
Dear brothas
This thing called life is no doubt EXCRUCIATINGLY hard! But, for me, choosing you is no more a choice than choosing to take my next breath. Let’s do the work together. Pour into me as I pour into you… our community depends on it.
Much Peace
Your Sistas
Dear female person,
Naw!
Sincerely,
Somebody WAAAAYYY over y'all's BS
Hello Accountability!💯✅
Then we aint getting anywhere because why am i going to waste my time having a hollistic conversation with someone who is broken basically asking them to practice fixing themselves on me when there is a man somewhere that used to be broken but took it upon himself to fix himself and he dont want to talk or practice on me... he wants to love me.
He's talking about the grand scheme, not a personal conversation with a singular man.
A lot of women unfortunately aren't great followers, or they Believe that letting a man lead somehow takes away from them. While they might desperately want it, they actively fight against it.
That man who will love a woman, & lead her, possibly is dealing with a woman that's unwilling. Unless we have a conversation about both sides, we're constantly blaming one side (the men) for the dynamic that both contribute to, especially in the black community
A better question would be are you as good of a follower as you think you are. Again we aren’t talking about the broken man, we are talking about the man that has the good leadership and is whole and is looking for a woman who can bring value to his life and be that counsel and confidante. We’re talking about the man who has his ish together. If you come across that man tomorrow are you the woman that you need to be to play the role you yourself are looking to play. Are you a Queen for a King or have you been telling yourself a false narrative this whole time.
Beloved, you assumed that you're not broken too. You assumed that the "fixed" man is going to want to love the broken you. That's what he's speaking to, no one is or has ever said to let anyone dog you out, man or woman. But you often attract what you are so at what point do you take a step back to re-certify your own credentials?
Talk about hit dogs hollering. You really should reflect on how people are reading what YOU are putting out. Because, it's a lot.
As always tripp shooting from the logo. The part that most will say is "i need to truat you to follow you..." which means they are gonna watch you and ANY mistake is grounds for them to take over. You will see this in a partner asking for help on a task they could not complete but they wanting to control how you do it and if you mess up then that proves you are incapable OR the classic wait til the last minute on something they could have mentioned to you in passing weeks ago, now its the last minute and you will probably fail. Many of these people want you to emotionally fight them to be allowed to love them and that is exhausting.
His delivery is always on point he never misses stay dropping them gems
Speak on it!!!!!!!
Tripp.... please stop calling me out....I ain't done nothing to you....I dont even know you..... I'd love to meet you though 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Accountability on both sides. If their accountability goes up we have to match and vice versa
That's Real!!!
Amen and Amen
That’s true ❤
Get em with the DEPTH Tripp!!
I'm 54, I have had no bad leaders. When I recognized poor leadership ability I politely mapped my course and followed it. My endeavors have been a solo mission, no one to blame or fingerpoint at for any failed outcomes, it's on me.
An honest conversation.
FACTS
I definitely agree
Broken homes 🙌🏿 Let’s start there.. Accountability is essential before you form an opinion.
👍🏾👍🏾❤️
Why do we need leaders and followers? It seems like the word leader is misunderstood in the dynamics of relationships.
Facts
Say that shit my dawg!! You can be the total package they don't want it.
He never miss I promise
He just did
The conversation for most women is OVER, the second any narrative shifts Away from solely blaming black men
I disagree with the ‘black men haven’t had good examples of good leadership’.
I feel like that’s a bit of a cop out and sidesteps our ownership in that.
I would say, it’s generally more appropriate to address it as ‘we didn’t listen to the good leadership examples we had had around us’.
Unless you lived completely isolated from other black people, we probably had some great black leaders around us to learn from, but it didn’t look like something we respected, like the black janitor at our school who worked 2-3 jobs to put his kids through school, or the black men who worked for the city, that also sold bbq plates for the local churches on the weekend. These examples were all around us, and we never really paid them any attention cause they weren’t “above us”, but right beside us instead.
This is something that both black men and women have failed at; we don’t see value in our equals. We only see value in those who rise ‘above’ or ‘ahead’ of us; looking for them to reach back and give to us, rather than be galvanized by their progress to achieve our own. It’s a plight that has plagued our communities for decades, even though our great grand parents and grandparents taught us better. Smh
Right if they all horrible but you keep dating them then that makes you...!? 🤔
We need to stop with the expectation that men need to lead. Women only want you to lead them in the direction they are willing to go.
Etherum etf is approved invest people INVEST
We talk about that on the first date! Shoot! We should be talking about that even before the first date!
Lead
No one here has mentioned love. The Bible is clear that a man should cherish his wife as his own body. To cherish someone is to love. Loving oneself is an absolute requirement of both men and women before marriage and even dating. Love conquers all. It is not leadership. This is office jargon. It is love that binds two hearts. In sickness and in health. Be still. Listen to your heart. It will let you know if you still require healing and then love yourself from there first. ❤
However people tend to choose a mate based access and proximity thus many Black women find themselves in desperate situations when she wants a Black male as her partner; primarily because of the onslaught that our men face in this world: incarceration, high unemployment, few role models and unstable environments. Unfortunately what's left for choosing is a mixed bag of high calibers who prefer other races of women, gay and or queer men, the career criminal, married men or sugar daddies and the occasional diamond in which you have to be an expert jeweler to see and pursue before the rest of the women notice him. I've been married to my diamond for 30 years but I had to know at age 14 that the young man of coal would one day be a shining diamond after facing the pressures of life. Young women must see the potential early on, grab on to what you see and stay committed to him and the Lord who smooths out the rough edges and gives you that beautiful jewel.
It's hard for black men especially if you never had proper direction. But it's even harder if you don't take time out to self evaluate and make changes to break that toxic cycle.
Lol would it not be hard for Black women too? And that excuse is cool when you're like 12.. but a lot of these men are 30 talking about they just didn't have good examples.. okay, then do something about it, you're a grown man.
@jas1565 The reality is just that. Some men have not been exposed to a different way of thinking. That's not an excuse. I know brothers who are really stuck because there exposure to certain things we're limited.
@@Jobes.music46 lol do you extend that same grace to Black women?
If you need your back blown out the lm get your back blown out. Don’t have a whole baby with a guy that you know isn’t a leader, and not a street leader that you think you can change. If you get pregnant, why bring a child into a toxic decision you made based on what it feels like.
The truth can sting sometimes. I'm about to bring the stur up hornets' nest.
If we can keep it 💯, leadership isn't the problem. Follow me for a minute. It's like when they say, "Oh there's no good men out here," or "All men are dogs." That's simply not true. There are good men everywhere. Find a very attractive woman and you'll likely find a handful of good men in her friendzone. Look to all the brothas that be "simpin", and you'll likely find good men. Even in the struggle, brothas with thin pockets, tryna make a dollar out of 15 cents. There are good men everywhere. They're just not the men that these women want.
The same concept applies to leaders. These women don't want good leaders. Stay with me now, I'm going somewhere with this. These women don't like to be told what to do. You can try leading them all you want. They will make bad decision after bad decision after bad decision doing what THEY want to do. Meanwhile ignoring the advice of that good man in their friendzone, ignoring the advice of that big or little brother, ignoring the preachings of the pastor. Yet...they'll listen to their girlfriends, they'll listen to other divorced or single women, they'll listen to the baddest bitches on rap songs and reality TV. Then when all hell is breaking loose in their lives, 1) there's no self accountability at all, and 2) there are no good leaders out there.
The men who display leadership are told (by those type of women) "You're controlling." Crazy enough, the women who recognize good leadership end up married to these so-called controlling men. And I know we've heard this one before because Kita said it herself one show. Something like, "Show me you're a leader AND THEN I'll follow you." Which is BS because you can't tell her anything, you're controlling, and she still wants to do what she wants to do. Which if you took a census of the women in that audience, likely well over 90% of those women fall into that category.
The leaders are out here. The good men are out here. Falling under leadership requires submission. And we've had those talks. Those women don't want to submit. They want who and what they want without the consequences and accountability. And the real world don't work like that, which is why so many of those women have those problems. The leaders are out here and in strong numbers. The devils army of destroyers are out here too. Those women stay choosing the destroyers over the leaders.
This is nothing new. Eve followed the word of the serpent over the word of God and Adam. Modern day eves are doing the same thing. And modern day Adams are following these women right into destruction. Which is why it's more appealing and beneficial to be the bad guy that they desire. The real problem ain't about leadership, it's about submission and the lack thereof.
That would involve self accountability on womens part &.. IYKYK
F. A. C. T. S.
Notice how women start clapping 👏 when its about men. The minute he levels criticism towards women. The clapping ✋️stop 😮
This is my problem with this leader/follower dynamic. You inherently make yourself an unequal partner in a relationship. You defer to someone who may or may not be qualified. I will never understand people who are so quick/willing to check out of accountability and growth b/c theyre stuck in this antiquated leader/follower mentality. Do yourself (and the relationship youre trying to build) a favor and choose to be on equal footing and equal standing with your partner. Let yourself be happy by choosing to build a partnership not some old world bs. If youre running around, waiting to be led, then youre not being an active participant in your own life. That makes you a sheep and we know what happens to livestiock 🤷🏾♂️. Be the farmer.
“Men can’t lead” - Someone Who Isn’t Coachable
Men's leadership w/ lack of examples fair....
While women DO NOT WANT TO FOLLOW AND are told how to cooperate with men by other oldee women to which THE LADIES NEVER LISTEN
You cant down a man if you were not there to make a good example for him to love you, for him to trust in you snd for him to be emotional in front you. Stop making bad decisions with men, and still blame him for them. A man and a women will treat you the way you let them. If you do not see value in yourself, they wont see it in you either.
Talk about it after 2 dates and the motions 😂
But why dont black men seek to be around good black men or surround themselves with black men that will uplift them. Why do some just sit in their depression and play victim for years? Like im genuinely curious
We are into the third generation of baby mama culture. We have young black men today whose grandparents weren't raised with fathers in the home...so males are growing up feminized. And we have also destroyed the patriarchy which is the social framework that teaches each generation of males how to be men. Those forums don't exist anymore. Feminists destroyed the male spaces where such socialization could have occurred, and the new feminized males don't know how to create those spaces themselves.
They DO family. Sports circles, video game circles, art circles, there are PLENTY of circles of “good black men”.. a lot of y’all CHOOSE to ignore them because they’re “corny” or “lame”.
The same reason some women choose to be around low vibrational women and act like they can’t learn to do better. The easy way typically keeps you down.
Maybe the woman is the bad leader as well
Bruh is talking about accountability .... Ladies! Men have to be accountable bc society is ALWAYS holding men accountable for something ...but where's your accountability ladies? Hmmmm...all I hear are crickets. Well ladies? I'm waiting
This whole concept of men being the leaders and women being the followers comes from Scripture. If you're not first studying scripture to learn how to carry out your role-whether as the leader or follower-then this whole conversation is pointless. Until we agree that scripture is final authority, we'll keep following destructive ideologies that offer more hurt than healing.
NEVER. Misses. Ever.
Preach, my brotha! Trump Again 🇺🇸 24'
How you going to complain about a leader when you don't follow directions and been stupid since Lilith. Make it make sense
Basically he's saying y'all need to be accountable for the decisions y'all make as women and stop blaming black men all the time.
At what point do we talked about all the less than mediocre followers in the world which is the most grand significant majority of women
stop all this leadership role, that women can lead her self, she just need a good love maker, a man that eat her puccy the right way, other then that ?, so you both are leaders, you sit down and talk about what is going on and what is best for all situation, about the kids ect, when you find disagreement you sit down and talk throw it, stop all this wanting to be right about everything, all black men are like this, they are always right about BS, and a lot of women have become like this, community and communication {communi}
“All black men are like this” you just be a black man, because you surely THINK you’re right.