summer nights are painful for those who feel alone.
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- čas přidán 11. 09. 2024
- It is what it do be do. Yeeeee. Chit chatting about life and stuff. Alright that’s enough.
If you feel alone, I see you. Summers are the worst for that. Here’s some of my struggles.
I resonate with a lot of what you've discussed here. But honestly, I'd rather be friendless than feeling lonely being around toxic people who don't really care about you.
So very true
Spot on agreed.
Facts
People can be draining sometimes, a glass of wine by myself looking at the stars and just counting my blessings is heaven to me
Summertime lonliness can also be a blessing. Its a beautiful time for reflection and growth. A time to process the emotions you may have put off feeling during the school year.
Friends are the result of circumstances. Circumstances change. Friends change. When you age, the rate of changing circumstances decreases without compensatory effort. The loneliest people are the elderly. The stagnation begins when you exit school where you are shuffling the deck repeatedly every day between classes. You get a job where it's the same people. You stay in the same place. The opportunities you had to find the people that would make good friends becomes a small pool of 1 or 2 sets of people, and the odds just aren't that good. If you want to make friends, it's a simple equation. Change your circumstances. Get into a new stack of people. Don't expect perfect results from 1 group, instead focus on how many stacks of people you can engage with, that's the only way to get anywhere. And lastly, never, ever believe that you are a bad friend just because you have none. That's for other people to decide.
I don’t know why this was recommended to me but it’s incredible. I relate to everything you said. Speaking as a 35-year-old guy.
Summer nights and summertime sadness man... i feel you. I would really want to enjoy those high temperature nights with someone just by walking down the middle of the road and chatting till the sunrise. I hope I will find a way to enjoy summer this year hopefully not alone.
I feel similarly. It's been this way for years. She is saying exactly what I'm feeling during my night walks. Friends are few and far between. Acquaintances are many.
It's so brutal to see people out to dinner, out on hikes, camping, constantly doing fun things TOGETHER but for me it seems like an effing fight just to get it when it seems to come so easy for many. MANY others. Friendships and relationships are a trip. They never came easy for me.
Thank you so much for this… This is right now the closest thing to real chat that I can imagine. I read on this one very popular INFP blog that people connect and bond with friends in large part due to similarities in phases and problems in life… Your title is so specific and its kind of odd that it can create such an immediate connection. I, too, have noticed that i find summer evenings quite painful… Obviously I felt I was odd in this sentiment as most of the people who are out and about on summer evenings, do so in the presence and company of others… even if its not a large group of friends, it might be a couple walking their dog. Summer seems to be associated with enjoyment of life, socializing, and enjoying the fullness of the season. This fullness really creates quite a contrast when juxtaposed next to one’s personal lack of fulnness when comes to relationships and I think it amplifies the sadness even more. I am glad you shared this video… I always wondered why my sadness was so acute SPECIFICALLY DURING THE EVENING OF SUMMER… now that I think about it…I don’t experience this sadness during summer days.. only during the evenings. I think maybe evenings evoke a sentimatlity, a sort of intimacy… and this lack of intimacy becomes more apparent..
Wow, what a beautiful comment! Yes, nighttime does evoke more of a sense of intimacy and depth. That’s why all the best conversations happen at night. Perhaps that’s what makes us misunderstood, it is in the lack of intimacy, sensitivity and vulnerability in our friendships. I feel like that is what i struggle with the most, finding people whom I can relate with in a deeper way.
It’s almost like the moon brings out all of our innermost emotions that aren’t so apparent during the day. Perhaps some of us are more attuned to it than others, haha.
It is a specific feeling that I believe stems from our need for deeper connections with others. Thank you so much for sharing :)
I do relate to this. There was something about the ambiance of summer evenings and summer nights when I had my first girlfriend. There was a timeless quality about it. Then the next morning came and it was like "Where did the magic go?". Now that I have lost immediate family members summer evenings are very lonely.
@@AnLittleAlex I couldn't relate to this anymore. I was literally feeling this way and thinking about how this feeling stems from our need for deeper connections with others just last night. I just started thinking about past relationships that I had with people specifically my first love and missing that feeling of deep connection. Even though technologically speaking we are more "connected" than ever, we are feeling more disconnected than ever. It's like we live in the age of surface relationships.
@@romamoryoutubeyou couldn’t have said it better. Totally agree
Words of truth you‘ve spoke
Female loneliness= Can't get Chad to commit and isn't the most popular girl in town. They still have friends, still can get loyal boyfriends easily, and get treated well by society. Male loneliness= can't get ANY romantic partner, probably has no friends or very few friendships that are not close anyway, and gets treated as worthless by society. Women's "loneliness" would quite literally be our dream life. I had zero friends all throughout high school, and my only friend in middle school was a special ed guy. I never had a gf either. Right now, I have one decent friend, but he can't hang out often because he works a lot and has a wife and kid to take care of. Most of my family has already died off and I spend the majority of my time by myself. Women wouldn't survive this life. I can guarantee just about any woman would self delete after a couple weeks of my life once they realized what true loneliness is like and what it feels like to actually not have people wanting to date and hang out with you.
You are right and I recognize men experience loneliness severely, and I recognize it’s a true problem that is plaguing our society right now. Both genders are struggling in different ways, but I am not a man so I can’t speak for the male experience. I’m simply expressing my personal feelings in this video. Just because I’m expressing myself does not mean that I’m putting down men or discrediting men.
We as a society are at a complete disconnect, and rather than trying to understand each other’s perspectives, we shit on the opposite gender and come up with excuses to justify ourselves. Then there’s a dick measuring competition between which gender suffers the most. Men cry that all women suck, and women cry that all men suck. When actually, everyone fucking sucks in different ways.
At the end of the day, the only thing we have control over is ourselves, our ability to change our circumstances and adapting to the times.
What I am expressing in this video goes a little bit more philosophical and speaks towards humanity beyond gender norms.
don’t worry little Alex, it’s zeitgist of toxicity in relationships. Stay strong, don’t choose bad company, be picky and try and try. It’s just statistics.
Wow, that was so deep, I felt it. Personally I'm an introvert that likes to talk to others and really feel the need right now to speak to other human beeings, like they are so many of us out there, having the same thoughts, just group them up together so they could find each other and talk to each other. I had like that thought that I start a group of introverts so they could connect with each other, its a bit sad that it has to be like that and they are by themselves alone wit their thoughts in their heads wishing for something better to happen to them.
Those summer nights are callin',
Stone in love
Can't help myself I'm fallin'
Stone in love. ~ Journey (1981)
No. Haven't seen it. I graduated high school in '81. I'll look it up, thanks.
evil dead 1 and two my fave horror movies. I've seen so many zombie movies I have a hard time finding any I haven't seen. Will probably be searching for the short ones now.
"They're sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone" - Piano Man, Billy Joel
I feel this so hard. Besides holidays, summers are one if the worst for feeling lonely. Like I love going to the beach but it’s one of the easiest ways to make me feel real lonely. Thanks for posting this.
I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I prefer to do things alone because then I can fully enjoy myself and put my energy into being present. Then that's when the melancholy creeps in. If I was living near the beach, you would find me there everyday, haha.
I relate to this so much: I’ve been very introverted since I was a Toddler and I didn’t have a best friend growing up. Earlier this year I confessed of my actions I’ve caused over this last year due to my toxic behavior at the time, and while that took courage to do it, I pushed everyone away due to it and I felt more isolated than before. Nobody wanted to talk to me unless I make the first move, the loneliness has gotten to me sometimes that I felt the need to go to my former friends even though they didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I’ve been going to therapy for a while and that helps, I tired asking my coworkers for plans but some of them make fun of me and I don’t trust half of them because of it. So now I just watch films on my Xbox 360 and read books from time to time. As much as I would like to be in a friend group I’m worried that I’ll be cut off at anytime and without communicating with them on why is that.
A lot of our anxieties are simply born out of a need to protect ourselves. You can never know what’s in someone else’s mind, right? It could be negative or it could be positive. Our mind tells us other people think of us negatively so we can prepare for the worst possible outcome but in reality, we don’t really know for sure.
I can relate with you, I’ve let go of a lot of friendships the last year and a half. It sucks but you know that it is necessary. You miss the feeling of having people around not the people themselves.
Just keep trying. There are people out there, and it’s just up to us to find them. :) thank you for sharing!
I relate to this a bit. When I had recently graduated from college, I had a group of friends from college that I would regularly hand out with, and at some point, I looked around and people were having a somewhat shallow conversation about movies or something, and that was fairly typical when we were all there. And it was nice to feel like I belonged to a group, but I started to feel more and more stagnant in that group. They're all great people and I'm still in touch with some of them, but I realized I'd rather spend my time getting to know new people than spending too much time in that group. And as I got older, the group mostly dissolved anyway as people moved to different places and started growing families. So now I haven't had a cohesive group of friends in a while, and from the outside looking in, it can sometimes seem appealing to have that, but when I think about the kinds of friendships and experiences I've had since not having that group, my life feels a lot richer now.
As to whether it's better to be alone or be in company you don't like, I think that's a bit of a false dichotomy. In general, I'd rather be alone then spend time with people who I know I don't want to spend time with. But I'm also going to spend some time meeting new people, so that I can find the people I do want to spend time with, because we do need other people, but we don't need to stay stuck to the same ones for our whole lives.
I totally relate with you on this. I’ve gone through something very similar, where I felt stagnant surrounded by groups of friends. It happens quite suddenly for me too. For a year or two I feel great but then that feeling sets in, where I come to realize that this isn’t what I’m truly looking for. Almost like I’m being “held back”.
I have often opted to meeting new people too, getting closer and closer to my most authentic self. Although I don’t have many people around me, I feel much happier and much more liberated in my own company and those who see me for who I am today and in this moment.
Thanks for sharing :)
God the only one gonna be there unconditional for u very rarely u have a group of friends sticks with u to the end these DayZ not to many options my opinion
It sure can, I'm now divorced 1yr and a few months, kids are teens now, and I just feel empty. When I try to talk with women they always act super busy, never welcoming, uptight, and just plain old seemed bothered when all people are trying to do is build a simple social moment, conversation, or build a friendship. People these days are just too themselves, phone, and closed minded. They take life so serious and act as if fun and letting lose is a problem. All these absurd goals have ruined time spent here on Earth, its disgusting. It would be nice to have someone to have a meal with, talk in the backyard, go for a walk, just simple things hanging out like you mentioned, it doesn't have to be a big deal.
This popped up on my feed. Im from the Gen X group and new what life was like before the internet. Friendship is a word that is applied way too much these days. Real friends are hard to come by. If you have one good friend in life you are blessed. My best friend past away from cancer about a year ago. Groups of friends sounds great but there is less intimacy there. Finding one person you can trust love and who gets you is the best. It gets more difficult in your 50s trust me life goes fast in your 20s and 30s.
I don’t know, I’ve been mistreated and neglected my whole life to the point where I don’t even feel seasons anymore. I’ve been abandoned way to many times to where my brain doesn’t work like it used to and I kinda miss having a normal human mind. My family can’t comprehend or have the willingness to accept my brain is permanently damaged from loneliness and isolation. Every day is exactly the same and I’m ok with that. It was always my fate.
There are a lot of faulty presuppositions in your comment.
I have a poem I wrote that seemingly applies to this:
The sounds of the fire crackling pierce any care I have ever known, suddenly without end all wounds are healed. Now with baited breath, the concept of impossibility is nill.
Fears can be your greatest weapon if you make it so. PEACE🎉🎉🎉
Wonderful :) thanks for sharing!
It doesn't rhyme?
@@Bob31415 Poems don’t have to rhyme to be considered poems. It’s called free verse. :)
@@AnLittleAlex Lol. I know. I was just being silly. 🙂 I enjoyed (hope that's the right word) your video. Wish I were there to cure your loneliness.
Alex is defending my honor, what a sweet lady😋.
Some people say that the key to happiness is relationships because we are social creatures. The people around us and the relationships we have with them are a key gauge of how happy we are in life.
Feeling more or less the same so your video showed on my recommended This was so down to earth and you seem very genuine! So I subscribed!
So kind! Thank you so much 🙏😇
Some very important points that many are experiencing. Diary of a CEO interviews an individual who talks about how little we know about having good friendships. I’ll look up the video, which most of our society can benefit from.
Beautiful backdrop btw.
Simon Sinek. Excellent points. I’m working my way through the interview. Maybe worth listening to more than once. A great topic for our times.
Hi, Alex! You might not have a swimming pool full of people, at least on that video, but you are not alone, love! Your subscribers are right here for you, and you for them!
Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay happy! Everything else is manageable!
Pops
PLEASE REMEMBER, WITH A DOBERMAN PINSCHER YOU'RE NEVER ALONE!
Reading/watching this on my bed with my DOBERMAN 😂 they are really special dogs ❤
Or golden retriever ❤
No one has the mental stamina and desire and people skills to build any kind of connection with anyone. Most people are burned by other people.
Everyone's struggling with something and think others have it better so being able to truly connect is pretty difficult. They are thinking the same thing you are they just hide it or gloss over it differently and many of them wish they could be more like you. Unfortunately, wisdom usually comes with aging and one day in the future you'll laugh at it all. Hang in there, you're amazing!
That's a beautiful moon in the background of your video. Last night we had a gorgeous amber-violet moon here too. Beautiful moments like that can make one feel lonely because one wants to be able to share them with another person. I totally know that feeling. CZcams isn't a bad place to find digital pen pals. If you keep your channel going and it's about a topic you find interesting, other similar people will begin to ooze out of the woodwork. It's not the same, and maybe not as nice, as IRL people to hang out with, but having people you can write back and forth to on a daily basis can help to make days feel a lot more engaging and less lonely. I've found through my own channel that I've made contact with a lot of people with whom I enjoy corresponding. Good luck.
Thank you so much! I use my CZcams as a platform to express myself and it’s honestly been a pleasure to chat with likeminded people or even those who have experienced similar things as I.
As long as we dare to be ourselves, others can truly see us. Thanks for sharing :)
@@AnLittleAlex Sharing is what we're all here for. Best luck to you. :)
Was about to comment on that night sky; it's great to share with people but as they say, always give without expecting anything in return, wether they're friends, family, strangers etc
You have a great smile 😊
I feel for us Water Signs people can see our clear waters and side right in and feel comfortable sharing all their woes. We are glad to be an empathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on, etc. but once they get out our waters are murky and filthy. It’s hard to find others that can help clean our waters so our energy is spent purging. I’m sensitive to others emotions and energies and sometimes i feel it’s better to be alone because my waters need refreshing. I guess that’s where healthy boundaries come in too.
So true. I feel the same way sometimes too. It can be overwhelming at times. I wouldn’t change it for the world though.
You are very brave for sharing this publicly and very selfless as well! Im in a simmillar situation, ive moved far to many times during my childhood, and have a very estranged dysfuntional family. So now i have zero meaningfull human connections left and honestly it feels like a big wound in my chest. Some days its not noticable, others its almost crippling. But hearing that others are also feeling alone makes me feel less lonely... if that makes sense haha. Anyways thank you for this video🙏
Thank you for sharing 😊
This is the 4th summer I have been more alone and I actually gained more good in my advantage because all that lost time I spent putting up with toxic people and toxic ex girlfriends I put back in myself physically mentally emotionally and spiritually. I’m more happier now than I was years ago dealing with fake friends and I learned how to control my emotions more maturely now.
Lonely is the night, when you find yourself alone, your demons come to light, and your mind is not your own.
This is truly meaningful to share and talk about. I too feel lonely at times, especially during the summer. And, when I think about it, I find that it’s not so much about not having enough people around me, but that I’m not sure I have anyone who truly knows me. I know a lot of people are feeling lonely, and sharing this with each other can be so helpful for us. I wish you well.
Yes, that’s exactly what I mean!!! The desire to be seen and understood is not so much about the amount of people you have around you but the depth of the connection, which is incredibly difficult to find.
Thank you for sharing :)
Don’t be envious. Most people aren’t worth being around. As you get older, you’ll find that out. Being alone gives you time to learn yourself and focus on goals.
I'm disabled and my videos have been suggested on your videos and I just want to say that i feel you dude. I haven't really had a friend group since 8th grade and I'm the same age as you.
I feel lonely af this summer too
My heart goes out to ya for feeling that way. I’ve always felt like I was a little bit different from the norm and didn’t fit in that well but when I was able to be totally comfortable in my own skin and not needing to be right in the middle, I’m comfortable on the outskirts because I don’t need someone else’s attention or permission to feel like I fit in. It’s pretty easy for me to attract people to me and making friends is really a skill and it’s a muscle you can make really strong. I think that void can help to be filled by interacting with a variety of people in your day to day life and being open and starting conversations with people. Friends can be made anywhere at any time and they don’t have to be forever sometimes it’s just for 5 minutes. But I’m speaking from a place of having found my people in a sense and knowing there’s always people I can talk to if I need to. It’s rare that I feel feelings of loneliness anymore because I’m willing to reach out I can’t always expect people to reach out to me
*Fantasizes driving the scenic routes, walking on the beach and see the sunset in Baja and Socal*
While I'm working overtime on the weekend lol
What are you talking about! Alone! ... that's great! i love being alone especially in a pool
So I don't know if this applies to guys and girls the same, but for some of my friends, where we've spent time, shared vulnerabilities, opened our hearts, some of them I suddenly don't see for a whole year, two years... and you miss them like mad. When you think about the times you spent together you get this painful yearning feeling. But when you meet again, it is as if you were never apart at all. So is the joy of eventual reunion worth the pain of today's loneliness?
I have two close friends who I have known since Kindergarten. That's two decades! We have gone through so many life events together, birthday parties, getting in trouble at school, going for nights on the town, romantic adventures, graduations, college, university, buying our first houses, marriages, divorces, having children, losing children... Now one of them is moving to another province. Well... there's that separation again. I may only have a handful of chances to see them ever again, or maybe never. So should one just hold on to these memories? Basking in the afterglow? Or should one promptly move on to new relationships?
And there are friends who become brothers over the course of a few weeks, and who leave as suddenly as they arrived. It is this continuous (and continuously painful) cycle of meeting new friends, and losing touch with old ones.
It continues to be one of the most difficult parts of being an adult.
For those who cannot seem to find anyone who they are able to relate to, who they are able to genuinely, sincerely, connect with, it can be difficult to bear. Of course, you are never alone. The spirits of your ancestors and true friends are always walking beside you, and when you read the works of great authors, it is as if you have gone along with them on a journey as well. The consolation of philosophy is a real, concrete, phenomenon.
The essence of friendship appears to me to be something like "regular, intentional, and mutually enjoyable interaction". Like pottery classes, rucking groups, or judo classes. (I'm only barely joking - these things are a cliche for a reason.)
I'm not even making a point, just sharing my stream of consciousness.
What a wonderful sentiment, I’m so glad you have people like that in your life. It is truly a blessing.
It is a continuous cycle, one that I know will continue as I grow older. Maybe people aren’t always meant to be and stay in our lives, but simply be chapters in the books of our lives.
Oftentimes when I feel the loneliest, I speak to the skies; to my relatives, to those I am connected to spiritually but are not yet physically in my life. Maybe I’m crazy, but it helps me have faith. It reminds me that we are all connected in some fashion.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment🙏
I feel all of this so hard right now, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I’m constantly in a state of trying to maintain mostly one-sided friendships while also trying to convince myself I’m better off alone, and neither is working too well. Hoping you can find some happiness this summer.
I find myself doing the same thing sometimes, until I can feel my energy drain to the point of no return. I’m wishing you a fulfilling summer as well :)
Ahhh so good that we have young women who tell us whats ok and whats not
You are not alone anymore you are one of the chosen few..only the chosen few will get to go on the trip keep your circle small..you are a beautiful soul.😊
Been going through the same thing for the past few years now as well. Unfortunately all of my old friends became toxic and i just got tired of dealing with them so this is the path i chose.
I have 2-3 friends I would consider very close. I made those friendships in grade school to high school. Even after moving to another country and not seeing them for many years, we still have a strong bond. It’s a roll of the dice sometimes making those kinds of connections which are the most valuable, the ones that last the test of time.
At least you have a pool. I am lonely and poor.
This is beautiful and you are a beautiful spirit. I recommend having a relationship with Jesus Christ first. He will always reveal everything that you question. Who is supposed to be in your life, what you’re supposed to do, where you’re supposed to be…everything. Just ask Him humbly all the questions you have & He will give you the answers. God bless 🕊️
I'm very much like you and we share a lot of the same feelings. Although, we are not better off alone. Unlike me, you're a very attractive intelligent woman. Go meet people. Go to a music festival alone and talk to strangers. That's the easiest way to make friends. Everyone is so nice there. You're beautiful and you have a pool. There's no reason not to have friends. Don't be alone if you can help it. You'll have plenty of time to be alone later. Love these videos. Keep it up
We appreciate you! you aren't alone in this feeling. And your voice in the world matters so keep sharing! A lot of people are impacted positively by you posting this.
Thank you so much 🙏
Its true, esp when your gf of 6 years dumps you when you finally move back in town after 4 years
There are a lot of people who are in the same position, I have made a lot of new friends by just lending kindness and curiosity into someone else’s life. Kindness and genuine curiosity about someone else’s life goes a long way.
@@kyle6209 Definitely!! Im the same way.
Got that moon in the background in a pool?!! I can only imagine where my mind would take me if i was there. But yeah i think 65% of people in the West are lonely nowadays. So many videos like this
Everyone feeling this needs to listen to Beautiful Night by Burden Brothers. It’s a guide to embracing lonely nights like this one. It also makes me cry every time 😂
I seen you privatized “A Letter to My Mirror”. That was my favorite.
I must confess, you took down the best.
I hope I didn’t ruin stuff by fussing about your authentic and vulnerable content. I wouldn’t blame you. I’m guessing it’s for other reasons. But I have noticed whenever I meddle, people begin deleting posts, etc.
I think I’m going to read some Mary Oliver poems on my CZcams and maybe it’ll make an impact on my own work. Layton Howerton posted an excerpt from her book and I was floored.
Speaking of Layton Howerton…there I go meddling again. But you really “should” check out his work. And. Thanks for work!
Oh! It was not for any particular reason privatized it:) perhaps fear that the person it was meant for will see it. It not you.
We are too picky with our friendships, same is true for our relationships. People historically have never connected to so many people ever, and hence we have been overwhelmed by social media. It is good for people to be alone, especially the thinkers of the world, it is only in moments of solitude where we philosophize and come to a greater understanding of who we are, what we want and why we are here.
Fristly, I feel for you.
Secondly I'd like to chime in with a perspective: I think the culture as it stands right now is quite focused on division and atomization without people realizing it. It's become quite taboo to say: "Yes, I'm doing this thing EXCLUSIVELY for someone else and NOT for me" (just to give an example). Every act of self-improvement *must* put us first and foremost. Personal example - I had a gross temper when I woke up, and I yelled at my mom. I decided to change FOR HER and I forced myself to be sweet to her when I woke up. In times before you'd find friends, siblings and spouses willing to literally take a bullet for one another. I think that the culture gradually shifted away from those ideas so much that it's now shameful to admit you really DO care what people think of you and that you want, no, *NEED* them around.
Edit: you're not romanticizing it - you're absolutely right, that kind of tribe DOES exist, but in my humble opinion it has to consist of people who want to make sure everyone else is okay - even at their own expense. If everyone does that, then you have an unbreakable tribe.
Osho says that any relationship born out of the fear of being lonely will not be blissful. So, I'm starting to think it's best to just face loneliness like any other emotion. You can confront the feeling head-on and move through it (or let IT move through you/your body). I've dealt with feeling lonely a lot in the past year, but I finally feel like I am coming out the other side of it. Also, you can feel lonely even with other people, so I think it's more about being authentic. If you can be your authentic self with people, then I don't think you will feel lonely. But if you have to hide how you really feel around others, then that is a recipe for loneliness.
Oh, and the video I saw by Osho is here on CZcams, titled "OSHO: The Fear of Loneliness." I highly recommend it for anyone who feels lonely. I've gone back to it multiple times in the past year and it gave me great comfort in moving through my own feelings of loneliness.
I’ve definitely experienced all those feelings. Especially feeling lonely with other people. I try to detach myself and try to understand why that is and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because it feels as though I’m not being seen and understood. I think you’re right in that part of it is because I have a hard time showing my authentic self. So I’ve gotten better at showing my true self throughout the last two years, yet I noticed that I feel even more misunderstood and lonely. Happier, but definitely more alone.
@@AnLittleAlex Yeah, it makes me wonder if, on some level, we need to be validated. For example, you can show up with people as your authentic self, but if they are not validating or acknowledging your authentic feelings, then I could see how that could still leave you feeling lonely. Maybe it's like you said in the video, in that you haven't found your "soul tribe" yet (people around whom you can not only be your authentic self, but they will welcome, acknowledge and appreciate your authentic self).
I have a handful of friends where we do whatever and don't judge or if we do we accept each other for who they are. The best trust worthy friends of have. Unfortunately we're not available all the time to hangout together. I still hope one day to find one woman that's accepting like my best friends and she wants to have a committed lifelong life together. Until them I'll be lonely and listening to $uideboy$ by myself.
I have become a social butterfly over the last year as I've become more comfortable with my identity and my personality. However, I don't know if I can completely be my utter true self with most of them. This is not necessarily their fault, because all of them are wonderful people. But I feel a lack of depth in connection with most of them. Growing up, I was always the silent friend in every group, or a third wheel that people thought was a decent fella. Now I am lost as to what I even want. DO I want a relationship? Do I just want a friend who belongs to me? Either way it has made me a jealous person. I have no envy over material objects or abstract achievements but I feel very jealous when I see two people deeply in love or just two people who unequivocally call themselves best friends because no one has ever claimed me to be their best friend. THere is a deep desire in my heart to be someone's 'number one', be it number one friend, number one found sibling or number one romantic partner. At this point I'm just rambling but god the world is so lonely.
You are honest and tender-hearted soul. Thanks for sharing.
Winter is the worst time!
I would sit on my porch, writing my stories and listening to people as they pass by my house. They laugh and engage in conversation and I wonder how I end up alone on my porch. Writing stories only comforted by a glass of warm milk and videos of other lonely people.
I find myself doing that often. Whether it’s film videos or writing poetry. Some of us are meant to simply be observers and listeners.
@@AnLittleAlex that’s very true. My alone time right before Covid started pushed me into taking my writing seriously. And then the lockdowns happened and I dived head first into studying how to structure a script. Now it comes naturally so I’m thankful for that alone time. Now it would be nice to share my storytelling with someone who understands and appreciates creativity. One could dream.
Say what you will but one thing that's having a huge impact and driving the loneliness epidemic is none other than social media. Social media and your phone has replaced your friends. You have to challenge yourself to try everyday or even just every week to detach yourself more and more from your phone or that electronic device and see how much it changes your perspective
Group culture can be overwhelming, and at times, solitude is essential for recharging. In today’s digital era, the intensity of group dynamics has increased. Smaller groups tend to emulate the behaviors of larger ones, which themselves reflect even broader societal norms. Often, these norms are assertive and conflict with personal values, leading to feelings of alienation. For example, if you don’t engage with popular platforms like TikTok or participate in gossip, you might be labeled as ‘weird.’ Feeling like an outsider can drive those with individualistic inclinations toward solitude.
Conversely, the same technological advances that intensify group dynamics also provide a silver lining: connectivity is no longer confined by geography. Today, we can forge connections worldwide, enabling even those with unique interests to find community and comfort in their solitude.
Don't Know Why This IS On My Feed But Also Reading Some Comments I See It As A Sign For Me To Speak Out.
I Look At This Spiritually. I Speak To Many And We Are Going Through This. I'm Thinking This Is A Season Of Isolation. Many People Lost Friends And Family Ties During The Past Few Years. I Believe That This Is God's Plan, It'll Bring You Closer To Yourself/ Soul And Closer To God. You Have To Realize When You Are With Yourself You Dwell Deep Of Who You Really Are. This Is A Good Thing And Remember This Is All God's Will, Not Yours. Just Accept What Happens And Have Faith.
Peace And Blessing To You All.
I think the algorithm must be sprinkling some magic on this vid. My feed is normally filled out with automotive, history, and firearms content so this is a bit out of place. I'm here though, so I'll give my two cents. 30yo male just for reference/context and I was very introverted as a teenager then flipped to extroverted in my early 20's. I've been on both sides of the fence when it comes to quantity of friends. At this point in my life I prefer less. When I kept a large circle I felt like I was always having to disappoint someone. I was getting pulled in too many different directions, constantly out doing something with someone or a group and it got to be too much. My personality type isn't right for that lifestyle. I felt like I never had time to just chill by myself and decompress. Best advice I can give you is don't rely on other people to create happiness for you. Living like that is just walking down a road to nowhere. Find a hobby you enjoy and pursue it. You'll meet other like minded people. Other than my core group of childhood friends that I still keep in touch with, most of my best adult life friends have all come from the competitive shooting world.
Thank you for this video! And that you algoritm for recommending me it
😇
People don’t have hobbies and do outdoor activities anymore. They get their “fix” from their app on their phone talking to people. The more I’ve stopped talking to people on apps, the more I’ve forced myself to hang out with people in real life. I’m 40 years old and hung out in huge groups of friends up until about 26 years old and then I broke away because they just wanted to party all the time. I can tell you from someone who grew up before the internet was big and before cell phones were around, it’s not you or anyone else, it’s the phones. Even you making this video makes you feel heard and like you talked to someone. It’s giving you your “fix” and now you feel heard and will more than likely not hang out with someone to feel heard.
The odd one out. Yes indeed, me too!
tyler the creator flower boy reference?
jk but seriously good job for posting this, it takes a lot of bravery to post something like this
She's seems to be seeing and learning these things at a slightly younger age than most in her generation imo. I've been a loner on and off my whole life, but I never realized how being alone is ok until my 30's. When I started to do what she's said she's done. By cutting people out of her life.
Although, i'm going to give you a warning. I'm 40 now. If you keep that up, which is a perfectly logical thing to do. You will find in your future somewhere down the line, you are going to have built up a new desire to share all of the love you'd held onto for so long, with others, or someone special. This is a good thing imo, but it might be difficult if the right people aren't around. You might have to seek them out. Not to worry, because the longer you hang on, the stronger you'll get. However, you're going to start noticing most people are selfish. It won't be easy finding others like you.
I think that’s whats so difficult is that once you realize you are truly alone and a lot of the relationships you have around aren’t very deep or meaningful, you start to desire to be alone.
But at the same time, we’re social beings. Nothing fills us more than love. We need to have a purpose which is seemingly found in sharing with close ones. It’s a double edged sword.
This was awesome.
you have a pool ergo I would definitely hang out with you..
im stationed on a navy base in butt fuck no where italy, and all my highschool friends have moved away cuz they had good grades and went to college. Now i have to work on my birthday without any friends
All of us lonely people need to get together and become friends. Then our problem of loneliness will be solved!
embrace it as you get older you will want to esacpe the matrix i am 41 and just found peace after years of fake freinds a crazy ex anyways you an atractive woman best of luck
I’m a friendless, genderfluid person, and I wish I had someone to just go for a walk with and chat. I’m happy being alone 75% of the time, but 100% is tough. Anyway, I empathize with you Alex, sending you a big hug 🌹
Im 36 and i feel like my life has just passed me by, i never hsd a relationship. I never had the feeljng or what its like to be intimate, and my self esteem is so low i dont have the mental energy to pursue it
I like to play sad music on my uke while I listen to this
have been going thru similar stuff im picky with who im friends with cus ive been screwed over so many times and left alone ive also had similar feelings with feeling left out of big groups was in a big friend group last year and it was fairly toxic felt like i was being left out and such cus the so called friends i had were inviting other people and i was getting left out and then there were people talking behind my back it was a very unhealthy friend group and now if people leave i dont give a f anymore its hard enough as it is for me to make friends for being introverted people need to come to me cus it always seams im the only one putting effort in its a really sucky world we live in now.
w*men are alone by choice.
Not enough Chads to go around.
Lmao
@@AnLittleAlex .... even the ugly ones
I feel ya big time. For me it has a lot to do with the work I choose to do. I move a lot. I live fulltime in an RV. This is my 3rd one. There are tons of positive with the job, such as traveling, experiencing new areas and new foods and so on. But there isn't time to establish friendships before I have to move again. This morning, I just wish I had a yard to mow and friends I could invite over for a BBQ when I'm finished. Instead, I'll probably make another stupid cooking videos and post it on here to pass the time. And that's just pouring out of the hourglass. It was fun swimming with ya
your not alone
For those who ARE alone* there is no feeling there. Loneliness isn’t a feeling, it’s a reality for the average male.
Agreed, well said.
i dont mind being alone in summer, at least then its warm and sunny and i can go out by myself for hours. mainly sucks in the winter alone.
Yeah, maybe we should try and be more tolerant with each other. And alone is better than with bad company in my opinion.
thanks big Al
Lmao I love that nickname
At the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with you. The more you use alone time as an opportunity to work on yourself and raise your vibration and heal yourself the closer you are to finding a solution to the problem(s)
Same. Except I don't even have a pool.
I think you just take people as they are no expectations just assume they will let you down on purpose or accidentally we are flawed
If you have a pool, you can throw a baus party, ez, resources are there :D
Unless they're really toxic, negative, and going to harm you, don't get rid of friends. You should be collecting acquaintances and managing those relationships through key dates like birthdays and holidays. Make incompatible people a slightly less significant part of your life instead of ending the friendship. Your life should be about yourself anyway. Your friends shouldn't make or break you. It is nice to have genuine conversations and be understood from time to time. It's good practice for having standards and keeping boundaries in a healthy way. Making friends is easy if you have a general interest in people and want to help them. If you don't, then stick to what interests you.
Proverbs 14:10 NKJV - The heart knows its own bitterness, And a stranger does not share its joy.
Part of the issue is that people are expecting others to be for them what they simply cannot be. There are limits on what a friend can do for you.
I relate. You are comparing too much. Once you find yourself, you will compare less and the opertunities start popping up. If people don't resonate with you the relationship will be toxic.
Your better off being yourself, alone or not.
I'm adding with your generation the biggest problem is a more unified identity. There is too much complexity to so many different groups that want to be heard.
I’ve been very lonely since my last best friend died, March 2019.
I thought I was alone when I thought summer nights were the worst in terms of feeling lonely. But it makes sense. Winter everyone is indoors. I think there is a lot of spillover from the pandemic. It's going to be a while even though the pandemic has ended, we just don't realize it. We will get through this.
It's so crazy that you say "our generation" because it's so true that we are the ones that most feel this.
So many lonely people who would rather be alone (and record themselves talking about how lonely they are) than be around the other loners. What a strange world we live in.
In the hush of summer's lonely night,
Stars shimmer, casting soft light,
Whispers of a breeze, gentle and cool,
Yet hearts ache, feeling the absence, the pull.
Silence deepens, shadows grow long,
Thoughts wander where solace belongs,
Echoes of laughter, distant and faint,
Yearning for connection, a comforting saint.
But amidst this solitude's daunting embrace,
Hope flickers like a solitary trace,
For in the quiet, in the still,
Strength arises, a resilient will.
Summer nights, though they may sting,
Hold promise of tomorrow's wing,
Together we endure, hearts entwined,
Finding solace, in each other's kind.
@@JoeSmith-jd5zg So Lovely !!