Curtis Penfold: Ex-BYU Student, LGBTQ Ally, Feminist, Activist, Ex Mormon
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2024
- FAQ:
Why did you want to go to BYU if you're not a believer?
I started out at BYU as a believer. I loved the Mormon Church and didn't plan on leaving it.
Can't you just get an ecclesiastical endorsement from another religion if you're not longer Mormon?
No, you can't. Leaving the LDS Church is against the Honor Code. You are immediately suspended if you do so.
thestudentrevie...
I've heard of Mormon turned atheists that were allowed to continue attending BYU. What makes you different?
I know some Mormon turned atheists here at BYU who've been able to be open about their non-belief without any problems from their church leaders. I know others who've had lots of problems with their church leaders. I fall in the latter category.
Remember, a church leader can take away a students' endorsement FOR ANY REASON.
What about all the faithful Latter-day Saints who want to attend BYU? Shouldn't they kick you out to make room for them?
I was one of those faithful Latter-day Saints. And then my beliefs changed. Maybe other faithful Latter-day Saints wanted to attend BYU, but the fact is, I WANTED to stay at BYU, too. I enjoyed my program and I enjoyed my work.
Non-Mormons can attend BYU. Why can't ex-Mormons?
How can BYU benefit if they let BYU students who leave the LDS Church keep attending?
Well for one thing, they'd have less enemies from those who feel they have to hide at BYU, or who feel that they've been kicked against the curb by BYU.
For another thing, it could help the Mormon community by having Mormons create bridges in their youth with the ex-Mormon community, while at BYU. Mormons can become more open-minded, self-aware, and accepting of others if they could come in contact with those who believe differently than them while they're young.
So BYU kicked you out of your housing?
My apartment was owned by an independent company that has a contract with BYU. They house non-BYU students, but if anybody breaks the honor code, they're supposed to kick them out, or else they can't house BYU students anymore, and they'd lose a lot of money. I got kicked out for leaving the LDS Church. Even after being evicted, they still expect me to pay my rent until somebody else buys my contract.
You mention that part of the portfolio talks about occult activity. How can you be into the Occult if you're an atheist?
My relationship with the Occult (and with anything religious in general) is similar to my relationship with art, poetry, and theatre. I might get something out of performing Hamlet on stage or painting something. It might help me view my life from a new perspective or help me discover new things about myself. But I don't believe anything magical is going on.
Just like I don't believe anything magical is going on when I read Tarot, participate in a ritual, or pray in traditional form to Santa Muerte. I might not think anything supernatural is going on, but that doesn't mean I don't get anything out of it.
Some feel that me being interested in the Occult is a good reason to kick me out of my school, my housing, and my work. I happen to disagree. I also hope that a person will never get kicked out of their school, housing, and work for being a fan of Lovecraft either. Or for being atheist. Or for being pagan. Or baptist. Or Satanist. Because freedom is a beautiful thing.
www.i-am-an-exm...
www.exmormonfou...
www.postmormon....
www.exmormon.re...
www.LifeAfterMo...
View a chart of how religious freedom at BYU works:
bradcarmack.blo...
To read Curtis Penfold's Mormon resignation letter and story, click below:
youngmormonfemi...
For more info, check out an article about Curtis Penfold below:
www.patheos.com...
To view the BYU Honor Code, click below:
honorcode.byu....
Curtis Penfold's "I am an Ex Mormon" page:
wp.me/p1aJRq-c3
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I wish I could hug you. Keep being you.
Mormonism, making atheists since 1830.
This i why religion is dying. Im so glad your getting away from those nutters.
You Curtis Penfold, have honor by standing in your integrity. Thank you for speaking up.
no he lied.
I left too-freedom of belief, self expression and free speech was too important to me to stay at BYU.
I left the church years ago. I have been so happy over the years and have a wonderful family. Good for you for seeing the truth. No more mind control. Good luck!
Is there an exmo BYU alumni group?
Joseph Smith violated about half of the things mentioned in the BYU honor code. Don't believe me? Do your own research and see for yourself.
Thank you for sharing, It took a lot for you to do that. You handled them with true honor and grace.
I'd much rather be compared to Korihor than to, say, Nephi. After all, which one of those fictional characters murdered someone in cold blood (because he was "constrained by the spirit that [he] should kill Laban")? Whereas Korihor's only "crime" was voicing his doubts.
In fact, come to think of it the Korihor character showed incredible bravery, preaching rational skepticism in the face of an authoritarian theocracy that had him arrested multiple times...
Actually, Jrad, I know quite a bit about the Book of Mormon, having read it front to back more than once, and having been an active Mormon for decades.
Nephi cut off Laban's head when he found him laying unconscious on the ground. He did so in order that he might steal the "brass plates" that Laban refused to sell him, and also so that Laban would not pursue him into the wilderness.
So I guess it is ok to behead someone if they refuse to sell you a book that you really, really want. And of course if you consider them to be "wicked". Hey as long as God says so, everything's permissible, right?
*****
Yes, it was yahweh (you might know this character as Elohim in the mormon doctrine) who destroyed Sodoma and Gomorrah, he also commited a masive genocide when he flooded the earth, and he also sent bears to maul teenagers into pieces because they mocked a bald prophet.
Or how about that time where God allowed Satan to kill Job's family just to prove that Job was an obedient servant? How about God asking Abraham to kill his son just to see if he would do anything for him? What an asshole!
Christianity is a bad joke. Trying to make cold blood killer Nephi look good comparing it with the atrocities of the god of the bible is like trying to make Charles Manson good comparing him to Hitler, both are bad.
***** I'm a little confused why you keep referencing other egregious examples from the Bible as if it refutes my point. Perhaps you think I'm a Christian and so Bible stories will be persuasive to me? I'm not and they aren't.
Also, don't you think it is a little condescending to suggest that I "pray about it", as if the thought had never crossed my mind? Gee, what a novel idea! I wonder how I made it through seminary, sacrament meetings, sunday school, home teaching, priesthood meetings, general conference, stake conference, Ensign articles, reading the BoM, BoA, PoGP, OT, NT......and never thought to say a prayer! I must truly be dense!
Even the church itself admits that many people pray and don't get an answer. Which is why they publish stories like "Waiting for My Testimony" (New Era, Feb 2010).
+Jrad Lars Dark Vader is also a cold blood killer, I don't believe he exists, the fictional character Nephi was a clod blooded killer, so was the fictional character God in the bible, get it?
Actually, Laban had sent out an army of 50 to pursue and kill Nephi and his brothers. according to ancient jewish law, killing Laban in response, was self defense. Nephi and bros took tons of gold and expensive items from their home and offered them to Laban as trade. Laban not only refused but then stole their property. That alone, according to ancient Israelite custom justifies killing someone. After stealing their property, sending an army after them to kill them, and other infractions, Nephi was more than justified, PER THE LAW of the Land as well as Religious law, to kill Laban. What to you is peculiar is actually an evidence for the BOM. knowhy.bookofmormoncentral.org/content/was-nephi%E2%80%99s-murder-of-laban-legal
boom, roasted.
This story is all too similar to mine. BYU makes it difficult to change your mind about being mormon. The church really values loyalty I suppose. Hope you got your transcripts!
I'm in a similar situation. I was attending BYU-I. I worked as a tutor and a lab assistant on campus. I had nearly 140 credits and a 3.97 GPA. I sent out graduation announcements and walked at graduation with my family there. I needed one final BS requirement: my internship. I couldn't keep my atheist beliefs from my family and now I can't get my ecclesiastical endorsement to open registration for the course associated with the internship. I empathize with you.
bogus nut job
7 years after this, but..incredibly brave to stand up for his views!!
Ignore the whiny little haters brother, they will never understand until it happens to them. I congratulate you from freeing your mind from the slavery that is religion (particularly Mormonism). I'm sorry you lost so much, but remember the words of the Wise Man Tyler Durden - "it's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything; only after disaster can we be resurrected". The universe awaits you my friend!
- fellow ex-Mo
+1 just for mentioning a persona of brilliant Edward Norton - at least somehow ;)
Alexander Holik I'm glad you liked it! :)
I applaud you too Curtis. I have seen a few other videos of ex-members of Mormonism and what they face from others.
Last Sunday I went to my bishop's office to find out how to resign from the church. He was really great about hearing my perspective, as well as giving his. We had a very interesting discussion where no insults were dealt in my direction or his. He gave me all the info I needed to send my resignation, as well as his cell number in case I ran into any delays. THAT's how you handle it. Not like this Stake President who obviously had WAY too much of his ego involved with this process.
Nothing wrong with that, and I respect your ability to accept it and be open about it.
Good for You!
Thanks for sharing your experience.
A lot of my still Mormon friends hated BYU's draconian rules. The shaving, dress code and the curfew topped the list. I never officially left the church because I don't give a damn about their stupid records. Plus they don't have my phone number or address anymore. Good luck finding me in Russia, it's a big country. I am so glad I never went to BYU. The Mormons at the University of Montana were bad enough. They were depressing to be around and took no joy in the small things of life. Plus they were too racist and politically conservative for my taste. They constantly put me down for being a Russian major. They said it was a waste of time and that Russia was an evil nation. I have lived there and can testify it isn't. But if that's what you need to be happy, I say have at it man.
curtis you did a good thing. remember your BYU folk group who sang "brave"
all over YT "i wanna see you be brave" your living it. you will be stronger for this
Curtis, I heard about a BYU student who was dismissed for online statements, but I thought it was someone with vitriol against the Church, not you. Your video is well-balanced and I'm glad you still had positive things to say about BYU. Most of these ex-Mormon testimonials are by deranged people with nothing but negative, so I found this to be refreshing. Sorry this had to happen to you.
You handled this with class. God bless you.
not vitriol against the church but a lust for sorcery and satan. Look up his Fbook page under the trans-name Meli. not so balanced anymore. He's more deranged than most of the others. Atheist? ha! Curtis had a promiscuous lust for Lucifer, thats why he was invited to repent by his Bishop. Only after he refused to disavow the worship of Lucifer and Baphomit, and a litany of voodoo gods, did he become an atheist. is it any surprise that a private religious school asked him to leave? it was his twisted statements like this that drew attention to him: “Baphomet has also come to me in my mind's eye in the form of the Serpent, who I now view to be the hero in the Adam and Eve story. Here the Serpent was, trying to free us from this false dichotomy of good and evil, male and female, obedience and disobedience... Since I'm a journalist and an activist, his form as the Serpent has been important for me. He inspires me to bring the knowledge I find to the rest of humanity, to help bring the unknown and uncomfortable to light." www.interfaithforums.com/wicca/14140-baphomet.html
whats freaky is that he would call down evil spirits in his dorm room, to whom he would kiss and light candles for, often kneeling for long periods of time.Curtis Penfold says, "I've been wanting to pray to Santa Muerte. I have no room for an altar in my little apartment shared with three other Mormons. So as everybody's asleep, I print off a picture of Santa Muerte, stick it to my bathroom wall, light a white candle on the container of water on my toilet, light some jasmine incense, kneel down and call on her. "I'm thinking perhaps I should approach her in Spanish. Thanks for helping me with the posture part. I'm used to kneeling to pray, so it takes me awhile before my knees start to hurt. But I'll try to make the prayers a little longer so I can get to that point... Last night I felt the need to kiss the picture. I feel my love for her growing, and I'm starting to think about her more and more." occultcorpus.com/forums/index.php?/topic/25676-my-first-experience-w-santa-muerte/
Curtis worshiped numerous Gods on the dark side even late into last year. As the quote above clearly says, he gains inspiration from baphomit. Reminds me of the many villains in the Book of Mormon, one of which, went about using: “..much flattery, and much power of speech, according to the power of the devil..” - Jacob 7 Sherem too gained inspiration from Satan (just as Curtis claimed to have done) and went on to persuade many of the people of Nephi to forget their morals. While the trendy sheeple get caught up in the reasonable sounding flattery, the leader is consciously seeking guidance from the source of all evil. www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/jacob/7?lang=eng Only once he’s about to meet his maker, Sherem finally admits he “had been deceived by the power of the devil.” -Jacob 7. More verses depicting Sherem’s apostate nature: 2. And he preached many things which were flattering unto the people; and this he did that he might overthrow the doctrine of Christ. 3 And he labored diligently that he might lead away the hearts of the people, insomuch that he did lead away many hearts - Jacob 7 Other stories to compare to is that of Korihor. "yea, and I always knew that there was a God. But behold, the devil hath deceived me; for he appeared unto me… yea, and he taught me that which I should say. And I have taught his words; and I taught them because they were pleasing unto the carnal mind; and I taught them, even until I had much success, insomuch that I verily believed that they were true; and for this cause I withstood the truth…" www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/30.44?lang=eng
same thing, Curtis affirms he is a student under the teaching of Baphomit, and satan etc. No wonder he is off the deep end. Curtis held a megaphone and spout out all over the internet, and elsewhere, that he was vehemently opposed to the doctrines of the Church, even in an interview with CNN and quoted in Newsweek. Misrepresenting the Church's stance, encouraging dissent, while surreptitiously sharing, "Since I'm a journalist and an activist, [Baphomet's] form as the Serpent has been important for me. He inspires me to bring the knowledge I find to the rest of humanity, to help bring the unknown and uncomfortable to light."
If the serpent and Baphomit is where he gets his inspiration, then i sure as heck would do the opposite of whatever he advertises as moral and right. Exodus 20: "Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth." I don't care who you are, thats a little weird. When you go to a private religious school, and sign an honor code, and then go around breaking the 10 commandments and such, there's no surprise his Bishop would ask him to clarify his point of view. Once Curtis acknowledged he was flirting with devils, and refused to repent, naturally they asked him to leave. After he got caught, one of the quotes my friend showed me at lunch was,
" I was in her womb as a full-grown man with an umbilical cord.. I've entered a stage of darkness where all was unknown and where I wasn't sure of anything. Santa Muerte has been helping me through this darkness, helping me learn to love the darkness as a place where all is possible…the darkness was Kali's womb and that I was developing in it... As I love Kali, I can love the Darkness that much more.” Kali says, “I am the mighty sorceress, the lust of the spirit I drink the blood of the saints.. I believe… in one Womb wherein all men are begotten, and wherein they shall rest, Mystery of Mystery, in Her name BABALON.” Then i went online to see him sharing this exmormon testimonial. I guess he doesn't share all this devil worshipping stuff in his little vid cause it would ruin his facade as a trendy "enlightened" atheist. maybe he is now. Whatever Santa Muerte and Baphomit did to him during a seance screwed him up. This is just one example where he details how spirits have come inside of him after a séance. Ive met several people who were involved in Satanism and they describe their being possessed by demons in the same way Curtis did; “the head she was holding became my head. All the heads became my head.”
Luciferians point out how their own head is replaced with the goat head or head of their voodoo god during seances etc. atheist? ha! When curtis was confronted with quotes like these, he embarrassingly quivers, "I don't worship the devil, I'm an atheist!" well, that may be true now, but it was worshiping Santa Muerte, Baphomit, Kali, and all the other demonic devils, that warped his mind so badly that he now reverts to ignoring the fact that God is real.
How very 1984 of BYU students.
Good for you Curtis! You should never have to hide who you are! It sucks that you were not able to choose the timing of when to "come out", but I am happy you stood up for yourself and chose to be free. May others have such courage.
I am an ex mormon good job for being a ex mormon
Hero.
Good job, Curtis! Continue to stand by what you believe in!
What’s his Twitter? I want to reach out to him, and thank him for being so brave.
So basically, he not only stopped believing anything about his church, and even began to slander the church in public forums but for some reason thought he would still be a member in good standing??
Curtis, you're awesome and very brave. Thanks for doing this video!
Great
Did you get your transcript? Did they withhold it when you tried to transfer? I'm no longer Mormon. Never believed for a minute. So, I was out the door before I could do a mission. Good luck.
And you're also really cool.
There was no shortage of warnings for the consequences of your choices. I can't feel sorry for you. Hope for the best for you.
Keep letting your voice be heard. Good luck.
beautifully done!
WHY did you go to BYU again?
You got off easy; under Brigham Young your blood may have been spilt for becoming an apostate. This was a sure way to keep peoples testimonies strong in the church. Congratulations for having the courage to examine your doubts.
Thanks for sharing your story.
how are you a feminist if you're not a woman?
damn that sucks to be booted from school over that!
It would be interesting if for every video like this there were a video from the bishop or stake president sharing their perspective. Of course that won't happen, but if it did I suspect we'd see less of these.
byu should be a diferent thing that the church, its an university not the church. im an mormon active i am gonna be active all my life, but byu is really bad with that of the honor code
BYU was made and owned by the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints!!! what do you expect!!! I am Mormon 😁 and I wanna go to BYU soon 😁
Holy freaking beluga whale you're crazy. You're the freaking one who was breaking the Honor Code!!!!! You agreed to it and didn't follow it......
He broke the honor code because he could not continue to live a lie that he did not believe in the LDS church and left. Are you advocating that he should have continued to lie until he graduated in order to keep his ecclesiastic endorsement? I think it is evil that BYU does not allow him religious freedom to change religions any time he wants to! I thought Mormons believed in religious freedom? I guess that is true unless you go to BYU! Just one more proof that the LDS church is completely man made and not from God!
itsumademoheiwa I went to BYU and took classes with people who weren't even Mormon… You can be whatever religion you want when you go there that's why I know this guy is full of crap and lame excuses
Geoffrey Beene I never went to BYU but from what I have heard you do not have to be Mormon to go to BYU but if you are Mormon you cannot switch religions while you go there. I have heard this from several BYU grads. If that is wrong please let us all know with sources of course because it sounds pure evil! I have also heard that they will not allow resigned Mormons to attend BYU so please prove me wrong so I don't have such a bad taste in my mouth about Mormons!
You cannot graduate without an endorsement. If you are LDS your Ecclesiastical Endorsement came from your bishop. If you leave the church your bishop is no longer your bishop, therefore his endorsement is no longer valid.
Geoffrey Beene You are dodging my question. Let me try again. So I am right, you can go to BYU as a non Mormon and even switch between religions and just get another ecclesiastic endorsement as long as you are not Mormon. However, If you are Mormon then you are not allowed to leave Mormonism and go to another religion? That is what I thought! Pure evil! and this is in total contradiction to the eleventh article of faith. The LDS church does not even follow their own doctrinal beliefs!
I don't care that your an "Ex-Mormon" but to go out and try and tear down the church is an act of Korihor believe it or not. You may be trying to make people think you are the victim, but we all know that most of the things you said are stretched truths. You don't even HAVE to be a member at BYU there are so many non-members there. The honor code says nothing about that, it says you must abide by church rules, however that is something you agreed to do before you attended BYU.
Actually, the honor code specifically says that if you resign from the LDS Church, you can't attend, and you'll be suspended immediately. Sorry to inform you.
www.freebyu.org/overview/
You're an idiot. Please don't reproduce. Do your part to keep our genepool clean! Thank you!
The church and consequently BYU, follow the Lords directions and commandments - honor code.What makes you think that this will change? You're gay? Fine. Activist? Fine. Feminist? Fine.You're just a person trying to fit a triangle on a space for a square, get over it and man up.By the way, I'm happy the school isn't tolerating any of these things, some of us have to keep the nation on the correct path.
boo hoo .... this guy is very good at whining. Great job guys, you should get more atheists and whiners to get on CZcams and explain why they feel the need to justify themselves. With their newly found "happiness" ... I would think that there would be better things to do with their time. WOW
Although I'm in a very happy and stable place right now six months later, at the time, getting expelled from school, fired from my job, and evicted from my home all in one week just for resigning was a very hard thing to handle.
I shared my story hoping that people would hear it and try to stop BYU from doing this to more ex-Mormons. Visit this website if you'd like BYU to stop treating Mormons attending there who lose their faith as less than human.
www.freebyu.org/
Don't YOU have better things to do than come on here and criticize him? Guess not ... so go fuck yourself you pathetic sad little troll.
One day you'll TRULY realize the mistake your making.