Managing Loneliness during competitive exams : An Honest Conversation.
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- čas přidán 15. 07. 2024
- Website : www.drshivin.com
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The views expressed in this Video are absolutely personal in nature.
I'm using GoodNotes 5 on the iPad Pro to make this video.
Contents :
0:00 - Introduction
00:28 - Loneliness is not the lack of company
1:35 - spotlight effect
2:09 - Instagram effect
2:43 - the fear of results / performance pressure
3:05 - you’re not alone
3:21 - my journey
4:49 - sharing vulnerabilities
6:45 - solutions
7:06 - change your place of study
8:03- regulate social media
9:28 - take a walk
10:37 - stay connected
11:43 - find your unique method
12:45 - I’m here for you
For all the support and help you've given me so far, a huge thank you :)
Sometimes loneliness is the price we pay for our progress.
"Levelling up" requires extreme focus & isolation too !
agree
Wow what a wonderful line
Aww, thanks for the wonderful reply!😊
@@saijalverma2363
Very well said
Best possible conclusion
I am insecure about my
Physical health
My career
My less achievements
Not having extra skills like singing etc
Not having understanding friends
Not having a single relation to share my things
One thing I have is Mahadeva and it do give me strength
Same here
Not having extra skill is so relatable. More power to you
I relate to u so much gurl
Ur not alone ❤
Same here, buddy 🥺❤️
Same here
1. Not being able to structure my day better. Repeating same mistakes again and again. My brain has short circuit of just quitting it all when it gets overwhelming.
2. Family problems and guilt of putting other's life plans on hold for my preparation.
3. Cannot be honest to my family and friends
4. Not earning.
5. Regrets of missed opportunities
Each point of your comment is literally my problems too. Thank you for writing it out
You said it😔🤞🏻
Same
same here
My thoughts into words
He was absolutely right when he said loneliness is not about lack of friends, but about the feeling of being unheard, unseen and not being understood, the fear that all our efforts would never get appreciated if we don't get success. I am so insecure right now that even the idea of virtual library haunts me!
Couldn't agree more! 😐
Hope you are fine. Sending you tonns of hugs and truck load of love
Hello Shivin , writing my heart out , started preparing for upsc since 1 July 2017 in final year of my graduation appeared for four attempt but couldn't not clear this ruthless exam sometimes due to csat or sometime due to optional.
Financial condition as downtrodden throughout all these years and then appeared for pcs but during mains got my appendix inflammation and couldn't study due to severe stomach pain.
Nothing was going well and here my younger brother started preparation in 2019 after his graduation from Delhi University and he made into pdf list with ICAS post and he appeared for interview this year for IAS.
I am very happy for him because atleast he was more deserving than me and the issue of financial condition has improved after his service allocation.
But mentally I am feeling like loser and being at the age of 27 is itself making a huge impact on my mental health.
My father doesn't give damn shit about all this and he believes that I am lazy and careless.
He always compares me with my younger brother and I am started losing my self esteem.
Lost my grandfather just before the prelims who was our support system financially then.
After my younger brother qualified things have improved but my self belief has gone down due to taunt of my father that you are worthless.
Taking a break for upsc to appear for UPPSC and hoping for best!!😢😢😢
Bura lagta hai sab log chote Bhai ki baat karte hai aur hum Zinda hai ki nhi kisi ko fark nhi padta .
Success is everything, sometimes even your parents!😢😢
It's real but don't lose hope,we will definitely succeed 💚
Talk to your brother, study together, learn from what he did right, don't let shame/ego come in between both of you and ignore everything else/ everybody else. All the best.
Here is virtual hug 😊 dont loose hope
Talk about all this which you write here to your parents that you as a individual exist not this exam is the only thing...and talk to your brother for the stretegy an all and at the last you yourself don't compare yourself with anyone
Hi brother , don't get disheartened, Understand this, all this is happening for a Reason, for something better which is better than your aspirations at the moment.
Had been a topper in my school days, but have been continuously failing in competitive exams since then , I feel left out and low when I see all the others have outperformed me in their lives and are earning well. My family have trust issues with me and I have no one to share my everyday anxieties as I have lost contact with all my friends. I feel uncertain about my efforts Vs the efforts needed to clear UPSC exam. Loneliness can kill a person from inside out and this is true 💯
This is exactly my situation as well
dont worry everything gonna be all right
Same here I was the school topper.....unfortunatey I quit my upsc journey owing to financial and family problems... currently preparing for up police + ssc cgl
I m in the same situation Srishti.....you can share with me🙃.
@@Sunaina-dr9jemine too
My girl friend left me for another, and she asked her new friend to abuse me over phone. I never got abused like that in my life. I feel relieved from her, but I don't know why I still care her. The loneliness killed my studies. I got bedridden. Lost self confidence. Getting back seems very difficult.
More power to you my friend!
Stand up for yourself, there's a lot to achieve in near future.. Utho aur bhagna shuru karo apne sapno ki aur
Make yourself a priority bro❤ consider yourself as an *Award* , who left u didn't deserve that precious award at all . Love yourself more💕
maybe it was never meant to be..stay strong buddyy....get up everyday and imagine ur self as an officer. work hard for that. your day will come soon. nd such people were never meant to be in ur life, dont stress, work nd show them who is the boss
aur bhi dukh hai zamane mae mohabbat ke siwa, waqt ko thoda waqt do sab thk ho jayega
1. Constant Guilt of not completing targets
2. Low productivity
3.Marriage pressure
4. family issues and many more
I'm getting increasingly insecure about not finishing up major milestones of my life fast enough. Like, I'm 25 years old and lot of 25 yr olds do work and might even paid handsome salaries but I've never earned a single penny in my life. So, this cycle of comparison really drains out energy. And then if i do not ultimately clear this exam, then I'll have to restart with some other industry from basically scratch at much older age, so that really peaks up anxiety. And moreover, friends around aren't that interactive and claim that they're busy indirectly, so seems pointless to approach anyone for calling, let alone everyday. But, I do walk a lot and video call my parents frequently and prolly will include dancing in my routine to feel less lonely. Thanks so much for the video and the advice. 🌻
Same 😢
same here, i m 24 and preparing for a high paying remote job, its taking hard work and time.
Iam also feeling same thing,1year before iam very enthusiastic about prepation
But now from inside of mine feeling sad , still not earning as 24 year boy 😢😢😢😢
Feeling lonely nese daily...😭😭
Sbki yehi Kahani hai 😅
@@upsccivilsprelimsTarget2024bro until 30 lge rho
Omg omg this is literally the video that I needed. Sir I am going into a numb place. I've no friends. I've stopped talking to everyone . I don't know what to talk about people are living their lives , talking about corporate world and here I am preparing for exams. My vulnerabilities are :
1. I'm gaining weight due to constant sitting . I'm ashamed to go out . And I'm not able to manage it. Because of loneliness and anxiety food becomes my only friend.
2. Constant taunting and pressure from family and relatives , that everyone else around me is in job and I am not.
3. I've no friends. And when I say . No I really mean no! I don't know how to make friends anymore. I've nonsicla media accounts because I was getting depressed seeing everyone's lives .
4. Because of all this my productivity is decreasing. And I've constant fear if I don't clear pre this time I'll be married off and never allowed to prepare again .
Sir you can make a virtual library. Most of us are not in library or Delhi so please you can do that . If the link will be yours it'll be safe for girls like me as well.
I see you! Sending hugs Sister ! 💕💫
I feel you! We are in this together
It felt like someone just spoke out the things in my head right now. Just like how Shivin sir told, we aren’t alone! More power to you and best wishes 😊
@@sumitpalgrewal1111 thank you 💐💐
@@cgsahana3 we aren't alone.👍👍 Thank you.
My main vulnerability is if results are not positive then nobody will understand how much efforts that I’ve put in how much changes I have made made in my daily life it will just go unheard
I agree. Although I am not in this journey to gain external validation, there is a sad realization that NOBODY can actually see my efforts or all the sacrifices that I have made. I have spent 3 years in this preparation and it has been a wonderful experience overall, but to think about it practically, I could have attained a Masters degree in these 2-3 years that would have quantified my efforts. Its the lack of acknowledgement of my hard work that troubles me. I really hope it turns out to be fruitful this year.
So are uh making those efforts for other people? People outside will always say something. If uh will become IRS they will say Ias to ni bna..If uh will be Ias they will say 1 st attempt me nhi bana..
Same here
Same here 😢
@@hritikapandey945 brother I am not doing all this for any external validation it was solely my decision and I owe it but the point is no matter what we say HUMANS ARE SOCIAL ANIMAL so even if we train ourselves not to get affected by other’s opinion somewhere still we will feel that way we just can’t deny that fact although I am not attached to success or failure still kabhi kabhi we all feel ki koi kh de bas ki Han yr tmne kam kiya hai
Dance is real therapy
me - sad frustrated 😮💨
my mind - chal naach 🤩
😂👍👍
A Stanford professor of neurobiology Dr. Andrew Huberman recommends these 5 irreplaceable things in life. I have personally found it useful and sustainable.
1. Quality Sleep 6-8 hrs
2. Ideally an hour of body Movement (running yoga strength training etc)
3. Morning Sunlight in the eyes.
4. 80% of food from non-processed food
5. Healthy Social Interaction with friends and family.
Each one of them is essential if you think about it.
5th one is relevant in loneliness indeed.
First four to follow ho rahe hain....but yaar last one ! Feels like out of my control....tried it , failed at it.😂
Absolutely he, s awesome... I do follow his things which he recommend as his advice are based on scientific research.
Thank you for sharing
I was facing so Many issues during high time of studies , month of January and Feb was so difficult, my bp went 160/100 , could not able to walk ,, was unconscious for days , hospitalized for week , was on antidepressants, and anxiety pills , sleeping pills , getting seizures , my family was constantly around me not leaving me even for seconds bcz anytime I was falling down due to seizures even in sleep I was shivering
, months went with full bed dress,
But then I decided to change my lifestyle
Just constantly studying might giving you satisfaction of completion of syllabus bt your body and mind is not what it want
I started practicing meditation, yoga , visualization, proper food habits, stopped junk food , now I'm studyin very efficiently with satisfaction that my life is balanced
There I realized that all your problems are in your mind , you just have to think why you are thinking abt this problem, is it even affecting your life,
Evey problem has solutions you just have to realize that go to root cause of it , give time to yourself, stay calm , whenever you feel in hurry, disturbed, sit there , focus on breathing, and all your problems will be sorted , !
Believe that you have universal power inside you, tell your self thing and you will be all right
Thank you !
Can we talk personally rutuja
Things I'm insecure about-
1) not earning at the age of 25
2) marriage pressure if not clearing the exam
3) not regular with my targets ( 4 din padhai achhe se hogi to 4 din gayab)
4) mood swings
5) doubting on my capabilities
6) kab bnungi Mai financially independent?
Will improve myself, will start again from scratch ,will be consistent......
Sir please create a virtual library it'll be more helpful..
Started earning at 27.. do not let anyone put you down.. whatever it takes to make yourself happy do it
All the best
@@999rpey26 and half..and still preparing..it's hard sometimes!
All the above are my issues too. I want to get rid of these worries asap.
Pressure of age, family, society
Responsibility of taking care of family...ageing of my parents.
Haven't cleared any exam yet.
Zero bank balance at the age 30.
Health problems both mental and physical.
Mindset - just waiting to clear any exam and after that I will restructure my life.
Sometimes I lost and didn't know whts happening in my life and if I am going on right path or not..Did I took a right decision, guilty of not achieve anything yet though I close to 30 now
Guilty of not able to study properly... sometimes I thought that I am caught in vicious cycle of health and things revolve around this.
But still I will not give up...how many times I fall...its self belief and never giving up attitude that holding me up...😊
May god bless you..
I'm in a similar situation right now. Couldn't relate more
that was motivating ...dont loose hope anuj, good things are on the way and more power to u
May God bless you..
Future fruit fulls day on the way sir
Sometimes anxious about
Having a comprehensive knowledge base still not clearing the exam
Losing friends
Losing time.
Feeling the lowest point in my life after losing my father 4 years back...had a brk up few days back, (completely my fault).. we were together for 9 long years...lost my grandmother, past 1.5 years preparing for this exam... and now when it matters the most it feels like everything is slipping away... feel lonely,end of the day no one to talk to... feels like i am losing some part of myself, feels like the end of the world like this is it 😅 but i am fighting, as much as i can ,keep trying everyday to fight the negativities, hope i get my ass back up quicky
Show yourself grace, as you try to optimise this crucial time. A lot of times, being super hard on ourselves is also not effective. Doesn't help with studies, doesn't help with mental health. So, try to be compassionate to yourselves, and study... Coz studying is therapeutic too, ain't it.
Stop self beating that it was your fault
Those who want to stay will always be there for you no matter how bad the situation is..
She left you bcz she wanted to that's the fact which you shd accept rn
Xinta nokoriba bondhu.....❤
lost my mother in 2021 due to covid, grandmother in 2022, got a job in 2022 but didn't receive offer letter till date, upar se pressure job na hone ka...khone ko aur hai ka life mein
Going thru the same things in life I can understand what you're feeling...
1.Not able to make right descisions
2.doing same mistakes again and again
3.not able to follow a timetable
4.not able to forget past traumas
5.oveethinking
6.not earning
7.loosung physical and mental health.
Don't worry I recommend you Acharya Prasant book विद्यार्थी जीवन पढ़ाई और मौज
I am Preparing for UPSC-CSE 25 and my relationship recently ended and since then I am suffering from anxiety and panic attacks, I Tried Meditation and All kind of stuff But I am not able to move on. Her thought and memories are constantly keep coming in my mind . I Really Want to Kick Start And Clear my CSE 25
Same dude exact
Sometimes i just feel that i m passing days
1) I am 30
2) I started preparing for UPSC in 2017, continued it till 2019-20.
3) shifted my preparations to only state pcs, other competitive exams.
4) not cleared any of them
5) then again i started preparing for UPSC from 2023
6) I teach in a paramedical college currently
7) I live with my parents and still feel loneliness sometimes.
8) Not able to sleep at night sometimes
9) and thank you for this session.
Don't worry dear
One day u definitely get selected and good partner
You are not alone god with us ❤️
More power to you man…. Just want to say don’t let anything be it anxiety, FOMO or anything for that matter to come between you and you growth in life
Thank you for your kind words! ❤️
sab sahi ho jayega idhar bhi yehi haal hai
Keep it up. One day you'll get it
1:42 This spotlight effect is so relatable to me 😭😭
My vulnerabilities :
Unable to complete my daily study targets....which makes me a lot irritated...infact I get so angry that I start hitting somewhere and after that I keep on crying with a rush of thoughts in my mind....like whyy mee...when will I get out of it...when will I be able to restart a normal life...will I be even able to achieve all my dreams in the time period which I have thought of....I fear that what if I'm unable to reach my goal in that time period...I stopped going out...left my gym..lost all my gains...I feel if I go out now..people will ask me hundreds of question...they'll judge me..left talking to my friends...even my girlfriend 😭😭...I miss her....there r many more things which I'm unable to describe...I just want my life to get better soon 🙏
I've stayed away from people of my age for so long that I've gotten used to being alone. But sometimes loneliness kicks in and i start crying and looking for ways to stop feeling lonely. This makes me sabotage my progress. I have a lot of coping mechanisms and not a single one of them is healthy but i tell myself I'm not alone, there are thousands of people like me who are trying to fight this battle.
This is the most honest talk in a long,long time. You’re unheard,unseen but I’m unapologetically guilty now. Every human relationship is based on the phenomenon of communicating and socialising,but sometimes saying NO is important.
I’m so glad,to feel that I’m NOT alone. And someday,I’ll be in a better place and in a better mental place.
Thankyou so much Sir.
I don’t know if anybody would read my comment or not . But I too feel very lonely .
I am about to turn 27 this year . I am preparing since 2019 and i am not able to clear even prelims in any stage . Sometimes I feel that am I stupid or loser that I can’t clear prelims . I went to good school and scored 95% then I went to LSR(DU) and came in top 10 in my course from all over university. But now facing constant failure and not even passing any other exam makes me worried .
There is pressure of marriage . But I don’t want to get married before getting a job . I have no friends to talk about how insecure and incomplete I feel in this journey . Every night I have this constant fear and insecurity about not clearing exam . Days and years have passed but nothing came out , everything seems like it was in 2019 when I started preparing . I don’t know if I could ever tell these things to anybody in person . This upsc stress is killing me from inside . Constant pressure is making me weak mentally and emotionally. I don’t know what god has planned . Just don’t know what to do …..
Virtual 🫂 hug ,I hope u get what you deserve
@@rockytherott7643 thank you ☺️
Prayers & hardwork does wonder ! I wish the best for you, You've been academically well I'm sure you'll succeed in whatever you'll do 😊❤
@@Study_12319 ❤️❤️
You are from DU , you don't have friends. Hard to believe
Some days I can't focus on studies completely I end up watching 2/3 webseries episodes some times I can't concentrate much even though I am studying. In preparation since 2021 and I feel like all my friends are earning and I am doing nothing not enjoying life and not becoming a successful person either...I can't support my parents..will I ever be able to fullfill their wishes? Will I ever be able to achieve my dreams? If this doesn't work what will I do? When should i know it's time to leave this? So many questions and fears but one thing is constant- shivin sir's support. No matter where I go in life sir will always remember you and pray for you!
To all who are having hard time:
Don’t get stuck in the cycle of failing again and again.
Just congratulate yourself for completing daily tasks. You are completing it for your peace of mind not to clear upsc.
Put a timer of 5 mins n start doing small tasks you will feel very confident. It works.
Yes I’m having meltdowns also. I have made a mistake of talking to a new person n it affected my prep
I was little bit shocked when I saw Shivin sir giving the same example of early man also used to live in tribes. I also give this example to people to make them understand what it feels like to be constantly alone even if you hate it. For me the problem is quite different. Initially it was not because of UPSC prep but leaving my family post covid and coming to do my corporate job. Years after putting the effort in the corporate I somehow realized that may be I am not so good in corporate politics as I thought doing your work dedicatedly is what matters. In the mean time, the thought of UPSC become more clear. Now I have quit my job. Although I have financial issues in my home but somehow I managed to gather the courage to take the step. I don't know if my story will resemble with anybody out there. But if a single person feels connected that will be a lot for me.
Finally, thanks sir for the session. At least, somebody talked about this real issue apart from other study related stuffs🙂.
Fear, stress, Anxiety and Loneliness is at the peak.
Listening your last lines got tears in my eyes.. seriously just saying this that yes don't worry I am here with you.. gives so much relief that I can't even express in words.. I am glad to be part of your CZcams Fam.. Thank you so much for putting so much efforts 💙😇
Aren't you just a blessing for us all?🌻
Hi sayli
Undoubtedly!
I'm also going through the problem of gaining weight, stress and emphasizing more on my flaws, but
I started atleast 20 minutes exercise in the morning and evening.
I started connecting to God and listening peaceful music.
I also sing songs and write poems to feel better. Nowadays I am feeling much better. 😊
My feelings are really unheard sir
Having the most supportive parents who've never pressurized me but i know what they are expecting from me and guilt of not being able to achieve it
Having no friends
Had a lot running in my mind about my decisions but no one to guide cant ask my parents because they believe i can manage and i couldn't shatter their beliefs
Not able to concentrate on my self always trying to please people......always getting hurt
Having the worst phase of physical health in my 22 years of life
Thanq sir for letting me burst out....life is very hard since last 4 months but i believe i can get through and thanq for being the suportive hand to bring me out of it
Sir me roj raat ko sochti hu ki kal se bhut acche se padenge par fir next day bhi depression me, stress me nikal jata h fir vhi raat ko guilt ke sath soti hu. And I feel that I am lost. Feels like something is broken inside. Lagta h ki koi muje nhi samjhta h. Socha tha akele sb kuch kar lungi lekin ye nhi socha tha ki khud se bhi dur ho jaugi.
मौजूद तो हू मै इस दुनिया में अब तलाश अपनी वजूद की कर रहे है , हम दुनिया से नहीं बल्कि अपने आप से लड़ रहे हैं !
The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keep out the joy .
🙁
Same problem is here
This is for me and myself to heal and to accept that I'm not alone in this race, i have several vulnerabilities and they are
Fear of missing out on college life and being disconnected from people.
Not being able to relate to their experiences from college or workplace and having inferiority complex.
Putting on a lot of weight due to sitting at the table for long hours, having issues with my monthly cycles, having mental health issues, physical health issues and most importantly having no one to talk to about all this.
Everyone around me is busy in their own lives and tackling with their own problems but here i am having the fear of maybe losing in this exam, having no one to confine into.
What if I can't qualify, what if i can't do anything at all in my life
I don't want to become a burden on anyone, don't want people to look down on me, i want to make my parents proud, give them a financially and emotionally stable life.
But I'm scared,
But also I'm proud of the fact that i am able to accept my vulnerabilities and acknowledge them, thank you shivin sir for being a constant guide and support for each one of us.
U are talking about me sir..today i got clarity.
Saving this video so that whenever i feel lonely i will get motivated that i am not alone
I don't know meri comment koi padhega ya nahi but when I feel like that then I constantly remind myself that meri soch mere thoughts meri jagah se kafi badi hai ye zindagi ❤❤friends I know it's Lil bit difficult but remember we can't control all but we can control the thought that we can control all the things... accept the life as shivin said enjoy the life with dance singing and meeting other people..thank you❤❤
I have read ur comment 😊
Fear of missing out.
Not able to stick to the routine.
Pressure of being successful.
Fear of judging if I failed.
Not able to complete my targets on time.
I am insecure about my mood swings, not carrying valuable achievement like iit, IIM and no work experience.
I am 27 years old insecure about not achieving my dream and marrying to random person.
I am afraid of failures.
I feel insecure whenever I feel uncertainty.
Recently I adopted some habits -
😊I started sharing my experiences with friends.I am thankful I have very good friends who patiently listen me always never drop my call without making me feel worth living.
😊I do yoga for 20 min , mediation 5 min, Chanting 10 min
Really it makes me calm.
But I promise I would fight all insecurities I would improve myself whatever flaws I have i accept and I am enough for myself ❤
Thank you sir❤
I've been preparing since 3 years and the amount of stress increases as each year passes. Feels like stuck in a loop, doing same things everyday. The world is moving fast while we are standing still and everyone is surpassing us. I felt that I was the only one facing these issues of loneliness, being left out, anxiety but after reading all the comments I feel happy and sad at the same time. Happy since I'm not the only one going through this and it's normal to feel that but Sad to know that so many fellow mates are going this struggling phase of life. I hope everyone comes out of this loop and shine bright in their life.
Thanks Shivin for speaking up on this issue, you're like a brother for all of us who speaks his heart and cares about us, I've been following you since you were an anonymous aspirant and it feels good to see you grow and you're helping others grow too.
And a huge shoutout to the people, in this comment section. We're all going to do wonders in life. This too Shall pass!!
As you have mentioned pausing the video and jotting down an entire vent. Here it goes: to say that I'm scared would be an understatement . The uncertainty is killing me. I've always been someone who had championed career growth over anything else. I haven't told anyone about my preparation. And people's constant questioning and nagging about how I'm wasting my prime doing "nothing" or what I'm up to is so annoying. I'm completely devasted/ isolated. I have even stopped meeting immediate family. M shit scared of failure n torn between two choices, whether to try my luck in competitive exams or to pursue my respective field. So, i can resonate with each and every word of yours sir.
Thanku for talking about mental health so openly. You are a blessing to upsc ppl. ❤
I feel like i am not good enough for this exam all the time. No matter how much i study, it feels like its just not enough!
Constantly feeling guilty about not caring for my health. My periods are getting delayed. Maybe its the stress idk.
Even if i try to reconnect with ppl only thing they want to talk about is upsc and when i am going to make it. It just makes me so irritated that apart from this exam i have no identity now.
Constant FOMO of losing out on other potential areas i could have tried or worked upon. Even indulging in hobbies makes me anxious. Theres is this constant voice in my head which says i think you are not giving it your all while all that is left in my life is UPSC.
I have left social media a long time ago and now whenever i try to go back on it, it just feels like an overstimulation to my brain....like i cant handle so many ppl at the same time....same thing when i go out. I have made my life so boring every little thing overstimulates me.
I hope we all make it in life❤
All the best!
And here we feel seen, valued, and understood:) thank you for your act of love, Shivin.
I am vulnerable to -
Overthinking any situations
In this phase of life I am unemployed
I am inconsistent in my study and I lack self control
I am studying but I feel I can do alot better than me , I am not able to do what's my potential are
I runaway from hardwork
But I am happy atleat I am going in right direction of life
Learning from my mistakes !
Same here dear I am also overthinker and it depressed me all time but one day good day come
God with us ❤
A short yet insightful video sir. You were so on point when you explained how we keep our vulnerabilities closed up only to lash out at someone who even touches upon those insecurities, with probably no intention of hurting us. We tend to build a whole negative echo chamber within ourselves and end up thinking that others too have the same negative opinion about us. This hit so close to home that I started crying. It has been a major reason why I have had a difficult relationship with my parents ever since I started preparing.
This video is a living proof of 'quantum entanglement ' between Shivin Sir and the emotions of all the Aspirants.
Coming across this video at this crossroads of my life is like the universe is telling me,
"you're almost there buddy ,you're almost there".
In this odyssey of race against time ,the recurrent feeling that everything is slipping away and you still have to prove your worth is unfathomable. The "spotlight " reference must be the reason for that I suppose.
SHIVIN SIR ,I can't thank you enough for how much you do for us,
thank you so much for being ' there ' ' just there' for us, thank you.
Shivin sir whenever u say na...that m with u...I m not going anywhere...this literally give goosebumps...and a sense of satisfaction...thank u for being there
I'm facing the same.
I'm 26 yrs old.
And not working yet.when I see my frds working, and supporting their parents financially I feel low that I'm 26 and have not achieved anything major in my life.
Overthinking impacts my productivity. I do preparation from my home so I get distracted most of the time.
I was having a study partner with whom I managed to cover 2 subjects in 1.5 month. But afterwards he started delaying the targets so now doing my prep on my own.
Sometimes I feel like I should start doing job but than it's difficult for me to take this decision bcz it's my dream to be a officer.
I fight everyday in a ray of hope that one day I'll make my dream come true.
You spoke my heart out!
When I see my school friends or for that matter my siblings make the most out of their careers, being busy in their lives, I feel left out.
I'm neither jealous nor have any complaints, it's their journey they are supposed to live their lives as they wish.
But I feel I am missing out in life, people don't really see me in their shoes, sometimes I crave attention more importantly "Importance" in their lives, it makes me feel that they have moved on, not just in their lives but also in terms of friendships & relationships, they don't look backwards also what I'm trying hard to accept is that, people treat you on the basis of your success, unless you prove your worth no one is spending an hour with you.
Well for me, that really evolved me as a person, I have become more humble and have stopped complaining about people.
I'll sum up to say, that being a good human is tough, it costs you dearer.
Loneliness is inevitable, I agree 100%!
Your words are too the point 😢
Needed this at the right time! Thank you so much sir for this video
My insecurities:
1. Is the path or steps I'm taking for the exam correct??
2. I don't have good friends..
3. Regreting past missed opportunities.
4. What if I fail in every sphere of my life.
5. People will leave me and I'll stay lonely as I'm not socializing due to the preparation.
6. Not being independent especially financially.
First of all I want to thank you for this video. In this UPSC market, everyday there are so many videos related to the content but no one talks about the actual feelings of an aspirant, their actual struggle which is not related to any content or syllabus. You have always been like a rock for your CZcams family. There are a lot of things which I am insecure about, stressed about. The constant fear of failure, not able to give my best even if I want to. It feels like I am drifting apart from this journey, not feeling like studying a whole day and then again comes constant regret and the cycle repeats. The fact that my parents are getting old and I haven't done anything yet to make them proud kills me. Being an introvert I don't share my actual feelings with anyone. The comparison of my dull life with others, the weight of expectations, demotivates me even more. The point where I don't feel good in my own body, not feeling confident because of the weight that I gained. Everything just feels so negative around me, honestly I don't even want to go out and meet anyone because I have found comfort in a lonely space where no body would see me, judge me or ask questions about my life. Sometimes it feels things are gonna happen for me too but the next moment it is filled with regret, anxiety, suicidal thoughts. It just feels like it would have been so good if all of this just ended with me. I don't know when did I start feeling unworthy of everything. But here I am trying to put myself together and try my best. Thank you so much Sir, I don't know if you would be reading this comment or not but still because of you I was able to pour my heart out and accept the fact that I am not okay, I am depressed but I am ready to fight and would try till the end. ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR UPCOMING FUTURE Sir.
Keeping the entire video aside. "I am going nowhere" is the only thing that I need. You are the only person whose advice I take seriously in the context of this exam. Thank you!
I always doubt myself and my strength, becuase I left my job and not achieved much in my life. But still I challenge myself to perform better everyday. Just keep going guys emotions are like our carcedian cycle, so concentrating on it drags us back. I'm manifesting that I'll become the stronger version of myself in this journey of UPSC. Thank you SHIVIN sir, without you my preparation would be a scattered one, now it's organized to the extent that I'm more confident of clearing UPSC 2024.
Strategy video toh boht dekhi hai but never knew such kind of videos were reqd by me. Thank you shivin sir for being so honest. It's so hard to open up, show your vulnerabilities. Thank you so much❤❤
Thank you for your efforts, most people are busy with their own achievements and faults but you ...
I am going through anxiety or loneliness but I know that I have the potential to get out of it and everyone has the potential just find out and get out of it and help others as much as you can ...
What an inspiration you are sir .
I am myself a doctor currently pursuing my internship in India's topmost colleges .
Even i am interested in full time teaching, less interested in medical field .
I realise the importance of having mental health issues soo much .
Hoping to work towards these things and help myself grow .
The most awaited video, thank you sir ❤
This video and the comments were very much needed to tell me that I m not the only one who is going through it. This man has got the solution to almost all the problems that I face. ❤ ❤ You are indeed a Doctor by heart. 😊
Thankyou so much for your efforts! Felt really good to know that whatever I feel is normal and will keep going one day at a time!
Thankyou for this video I wanted, I was searching for this video. The RIGHT TIME!!
It's 2021 i am in last semester of my engineering and I have already joined upsc coaching.. studying 10 hours a day.. imagining i am far ahead in my race and by 2023 I'll be an IAS officer
Fast forward to today
No.. i am not ahead of my race... i was delul in my own space.... far away from reality... struggling to study even 5 hours...lost my campus placement... having friends completing their masters.... feeling lost..!
Sometimes i think why did I even start.. I can't even remember just burned out by this rat race
There are problems :
I usually Watch Bad videos (then do that bad activity )when alone , in between studies too. I don't know why , negativity attracts me while I am alone.
I will do a morning walk from tomorrow morning, may it give me the positivity of nature.
I do understand what you're going through my friend. Hold yourself together and value your sanity...God be with you.
Same💯💯
take action , maybe move out for preparation
There’s no such thing as bad videos. You’re just not meant for studying. Here you’re listening advices of shivin, who himself was a product of his environmental factors. He was a studious guy, he did not decide it, his parents and environmental conditions did. But you are a different case.
There is nothing called bad activity. Don't feel guilt of it , it is normal , you are not alone
Yes sir. Definitely negative things always comes in our way but we have to ignore those things and focus on positive part..
I was feeling this loneliness and social cut out from my friends. Was struggling with this problem from many days and fighting too.
Thank you sir for this video. It will help us and many future aspirants.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Honestly telling, reaching you is one of the best thing happened to me in this journey of UPSC Shivin Sir...
Mentor in exam to Guide in this whole journey.. Too grateful.. Thanks for always being here..
Mujhe dr lgta h agr time pr ni hua byah di jaungi or papa o proud feel ni krwa paungi,
kisi v competitive exam dekr ati hu or papa ka swal ho jayga na mera confidence km kr deti, or isliy mai apne ghr k 3rd floor wale balkni ko hi apni study room or duniya bnay huye pure- pure din ni niklti hu
Most appropriate dealing with the problem ❤
A big salute to you sister❤
Thanks shivin for this
it is feeling so delight to hear you.
Dhanyavaad sir dil se..
Radhe-Radhe❤❤
God is always with me...❣
Thank you for asking this.... I felt very calm after watching this video.😊
So grateful to find your channel. Thankyou for everything.
There are a lot of teachers out there but none is as empathetic as you are. Always feels like you’re speaking directly to me! I rarely comment on videos but was compelled to tell you that I truly appreciate everything that you’re doing for this community. ❤
My vulnerabilities; feeling like I might loose onto friendships and relationships, sometimes feeling guilty of not being there for others despite of wanting to be there for them, fearing that what if this doesn’t work out and all those sacrifices go in vain.
Anyway, you are such a kind soul. May Almighty bless you with lots of abundance, peace and love! 😇
Tysm sir❤
Your daily doses of such talks can also enlighten us n keep us charged
firstly I'm glad that i found this video in the Pink of your health. because you were unwell in the past week and yet you worked hard for us.
Much needed, thank you so much ❤
Thanks from bottom of my heart ❤
Not consistent , not giving my 100 percent.
Watching reels to fell good but it further deteriorates my mood and made me feel miserable and guilty of passing time and another day.
Not doing any physical exercise
Not earning and not able to contribute positively in the lives of my parents and siblings
Don't watch reels for feeling good, it can't make you feel good, instead of this, try to do some physical exercise, try to learn something new like piano or dance that will make you happy. Cut off all your social handles it's really a great relief
Thank you so much for this! ❤
Though I am blessed to have supportive parents, my biggest fear is constantly letting them down as far as my career is concerned. Apart from this, physical health, past relationship, losing touch with good friends are some other vulnerabilities.
This video was really helpful. I wish everyone to find inner strength and resilience to get through this phase. Peace.
Thank you for coming up with this video and putting so much effort into it. It is valuable for many.
Mujhe lgta tha sirf mujhe hi ye sb feel hota hai😢😢😢
I am also Vulnerable about...
Am I making right choices in major decisions of my life
This is one of the biggest hurdle in my prepration along with loneliness
Thank you so much... I badly needed this 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you Sir for bringing this out, till this video i was thinking that i am struggling alone,i have only such problems others aspirants are doing good. But todays comments opened my eyes as other people vulnerabilities, problems are also similar with me..
I am not alone with this thoughts and daily struggles..
Biggest shoutout to you for this video🤩
It is a deeply heartfelt and profoundly thoughtful one.
It radiates your empathy and the quality of self work you have done.
More power to you💯
💯💙
24 year of age preparing for compitition exam
Earning nothing
Mere vese bhi 2 3 hi dhost the or un logo ne bhi bhat karna chod diya
Call karta bhi hu to call pick nahi karte
Par jab bhi unko mere se help chahiye to turant call kar dete hai
Ghar par bhi sab log kahne lag gaye ji koi bhi job kar lo ab
Bahot bura lagta hai apne sapno ko khatam hote hue dekhte hue
Lonely, depressed . Padai me dyan hi nahi jata 8 hr padta bhi hu to usme effectively 3-4 hr hoti hai
Mere sare friends private job kar rahe hai
Kisi se bhat share bhi karna chahu to vo call nahi pick karte msg seen nahi karte
Itni mehnat karne ke bhad me bbi lagta hai kitna bekar hu m
This video is really needed
Thnk you sir for being part of our journey. We really felt it during our preparation. You just strengthen our preparation with your powerful words.
Hey Shivin. I was a national football player. But maine exam ki wajah se football khelna chodd diya tha. But maine iss attempt se waapis football khelna shuru qiya har Saturday. Ab mera mood kaafi sahi rehta h and kaafi khushi milti h mujhe. Issey mujhe kaafi help hui h loneliness overcome karne mein. Btw thanks for covering this topic Arteta. ( from Messi fan).
Ya man, play and live. And prepare simultaneously. Messi fan too😅
I feel like I have done nothing in my life till now. I feel that I don't have what it takes to crack this exam. There's a lot of thoughts in my head which puts a pressure on me to turn my life around. I let go of easy opportunities to do this and now it has gotten extremely difficult to even survive till the exam. Each day I don't perform, I feel like I have lost the chance of clearing. Every mistake I make makes me feel like I am behind in the race. I don't have the energy in me left to even say these things out loud.
12:50 Started crying 🥺 i am studying 8 hrs min with consistency and it felt someone genuinely appreciated and know its difficult to sit everyday and doing the same things ..lonely...anxiety .. tension
Although cutting off from friends is what most of the people do while preparing, but I had always thought that I'll never do that. I kept in touch with atleast 2-3 friends. We used to talk atleast once a week, but with time I've realised that it's hard to keep in touch because the other person always wants to talk according to their convenience.It's like they will never be available to you when you need them ,but want you to be always available for them. I've decided that it's better to be alone than to be in touch with these kind of people. That's why I talk to my mum, my sister whenever I fell lonely and I Journal what I can't share with even them.The point is to just let the stress out you can do it by writing as well.
Same issue
@@poetictriangle1037 atleast someone can relate
Omg... What a timing.... Thank you so much... Mental health is much needed... I m getting self doubt alot.. Seeing my friend doing pg, busy in hospital,... During holi i was in my zone only ..reading .. My friend called but later i regret talking to her... Felt i m lagging behind.. Feeling devastated... Thanks for advice sir...
Exactly Same is happening with me, I'm feeling so lonely even I gave mains this year in my first attempt but after the result my mental health is something different which is inclined towards negativity now
I feel insecure because of constant fomo that my friends are in better place earning, traveling, enjoying. Also I have insecurity about my health.
Also I appreciate the efforts that you put in for us. Really you are doing a great job sir . Thank you.
Thanku so much sir.. really needed this ❤️
Thank you so much Dr.Shivin sir to show me a way to cope up from loneliness and deal with my vulnerability.. Actually I was so scared with the fact that in these years I was too disconnected from my friends and family because I thought my study my goal is my priority but now I feel like what when this ends and I have to go to home , socialize with other people it scares me that how I will manage that thing ..Also nowadays i m getting too addictive by this social media addiction of reels and shorts which i was using for dealing up my loneliness.. Thank you so much for helping me now i will restrict the time and content I spend there...
I didn't know this things but yeah they were affecting me...i thought it is just drama of my brain but no.
Thankyou sir for this wholesome video❤🙏
My vulnerabilities:
1. Want to study for 8 hrs atleast but 4 5 ghante hote hote lgta h ab ni ho payega aur effort b kam ho jata h andar se wo zeal jaldbazi ni rhti... is dar me ki pura effort lagane k bad b achieve ni hua to discourage ho jaungi...i know it's weird.
2. I m loosing weight, I m 5'5" and 44kg underweight. As i had big issue of sleepiness, I have reduced my diet so i m keeping my physical health at stake for sometime n even though i know i will regain it but family is pointing it out all time n i too do not feel nice seeing myself.
3. Also suffering lower back pain which does not let me sit in one posture for long time. In this young age suffering with is very shameful and i even do not know when it will be perfectly fine.
4. Fearful about my uncertain future. Kuchh dikh ni ra kuchh pta ni, mai kuchh krna hi chahti hu, mujhe krna hi h yhi inspire krta h, mai kr skti hu ye ni ata andar se. But koi ni kab tk ni aayega constant 6 month ka b hard work kuchh to progress dikhayega hi fir to hm yha sal par sal laga rahe h.
All the best my beautiful people...u r becoming even more beautiful by putting urself through this hardship thankyou for being here. Improvement is the only destination👍❤
One stop solution for Mental health and fatigue which worked for me is do any sports activities like swimming, Tennis, Horse riding, cricket etc etc but keeping in mind to not waste time there for chitchatting with people around.
Thank you dr. shivin😊❤
THIS! This intreraction was much needed..thank you, I already feel a bit relieved!😄