I have such a hard time verbalizing my thoughts and feelings and I am notorious for writing long letters and text messages to get all of my thoughts out.
That’s why I have a blog. It’s so that I can take the time to put my feelings and thoughts out there for everyone to see without bugging my friends too much. I found that my friends got sorta pissed when I texted them all of my problems and never talked about it in person. I don’t really know why it upset them so much, but I gave them all the blog link and when they saw it, they saw it. It was less direct and it made me feel better. Also, when strangers commented or liked what I posted it made me feel like my feeling were valid. Highly suggest Wordpress for it.
Yeah I struggle so much I go around the bend just trying to explain what I’m feeling, I use poetry examples, metaphors, and the best ones are songs. But it’s so so difficult. I end up saying or making them feel like I meant something completely different than what I’m trying to express. Which isn’t good when in their perspective is seen as hostile or rude. I don’t know these things until it’s too late.all I was attempting was to get my emotions out and explain what’s wrong.
Sometimes they even think I’m lying about something because I go around the bend trying to explain my emotions. But I really can’t comprehend how to properly explain my feelings.
Studies for autism are typically done exclusively on boys, which is why there is a significant bias toward males with autism in how people with autism are diagnosed and what symptoms of autism are. That is why there appears to be more boys with autism. Women with autism are much harder to diagnose because of this bias.
I have a hearing loss, and my family figured I was 'weird' due to being partially deaf. On the upside, it had me with a therapist to teach me how to talk and function. On the downside, having my mother frustrated with me for not wanting to do what she found fun and more hiccups. I wasn't diagnosed until I had a seizure. I'm both late diagnosed with epilepsy in my sleep, which lead me to be tested and they realized I'm also autistic. I have had so much intentional training to 'behave', the learning to unmask will take some time with my therapist.
Well that's great..I have an appointment to get diagnosed in a couple weeks, and I'm female. I have actually been a bit worried that the test is geared towards males, and that the results might not be accurate
@@catz537 Unfortunately that might be the case but hopefully with a good specialist you'll get the correct diagnosis. I was diagnosed when I was little and my parents had been paying a lot of attention to me and told the specialist about how I interacted with certain stimulus which helped a lot in my diagnosis. My case is very mild so otherwise I'd be hard to diagnose. Because my parents were very attentive and I was screened at a young age it was easier for me to get diagnosed. Bringing up how stimulus affects you might be helpful (I'd assume they would bring this up anyway but I thought I'd mention it, I was reassessed a while ago and can't remember if mine did or not) but full disclosure I'm not a professional this advice is just coming from my own experiences. Edited spelling.
Same! My mum was pretty much the only person I was actually fully comfortable to have hugs from. I'm better at it now but it still makes me uncomfortable if it's not my fiance, it's almost like the comfort of hugging my mum has switched to him.
@@eirienevenstar Wow cool. Can't believe I recently writing a new chapter of a book that has similar experience with yours even tho I don't really know about autism. If the Lord wills it, I will end the book with both of them marrying.
"losing skills as time goes on" Does this apply to us formerly-gifted people? We used to be gifted in things like language, but as time went on we starting falling behind and lagging not because we went into higher grades with people who share our same grade level, but because our brains just couldn't keep up anymore?...
I feel like this is the case with me. I was always described as profoundly gifted and right now I barely functional at all (but long term severe trauma and lack of sleep plays a part in this as well) the simplest things feel like an impossible task now. I'm so jaded and burnt out I can barely get my eyes to stay in focus or do simple arithmetic.
@@SobrietyandSolace and @Ace Trainer Annie : I'm sorry you're going through this. It's horrid, worse so for being invisible and so difficult to explain. I became burned out several years ago and went from a functional adult with a bright future to a non-functional one. My case might be a bit more extreme, I don't know. For anyone who hasn't heard of autistic burnout, it's when the toll of trying to survive in a world that's at odds with us exceeds our ability to cope with it. Stress, anxiety, and trauma (and what counts as trauma is highly subjective) are the main factors. It's been likened to a depressive episode, and is frequently misdiagnosed as depression, but unlike depression it doesn't necessarily respond to treatment or go away. It's a highly individual phenomenon in that it can occur at any age and with any severity and frequency -- some autistics recover from it and never experience it again; others suffer repeated instances of it throughout their life; others may develop it and only partially recover, or not recover at all. Although that may sound like a pretty gloomy prediction, it's not a given that every autistic person will develop it, or that, if they do, they won't recover. The better your support structure, and the less taxes there are on your mental and physical health, the better your chances. If you're not fortunate enough to be in a good situation (and many autistics aren't), it's crucial that you try and prioritise your own wellbeing wherever possible.
At school I always hoped that the teacher wouldn't put someone next to me because I don't like people being around me. I like super tight hugs or my duvet.
n N ~ there are many people who are autistic and don’t know it and I think that unless a person is struggling in life, it’s not necessary to know as a diagnosis is simply a way to help a person better understand themselves so they can find more effective ways of being in the world. I also think some people can have some traits of what would normally be considered ‘autistic’ and some people are neurodivergent without being on the spectrum ~ I think most people who are open minded would be less neurotypical and therefore more neurodivergent. It’s cool you got to sit with your sister 😊
@@autumn5852 I totally agree! I think it's also difficult to draw the line between who should get a diagnosis and who isn't "autistic enough". In the end a perfect solution that applies to all probably doesn't exist, just as you said.
If this information had been readily available back during my early years, it would have saved me from ridicule and receiving smacks for being 'unruly' or 'dumb'.
Matthew 5:22 " But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, 'You good-for-nothing, ' shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, 'You fool, ' shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.
As a Girl on the spectrum i find this really interesting and looking at these signs and looking at my childhood i am surprised that the signs were so clear yet not me (as i found out about autism in 2017) or my family didn't see the signs earlier
When I look back at how I was when I was a child, I think I displayed a lot more signs of autism, but I made a huge effort in high school to learn how to be social, and now it’s harder to tell. But one thing I notice is that I don’t verbally respond to people most of the time, and I have to use a lot of energy to maintain a conversation. Is that common?
Similar issue here. There are a few close people to me that I can talk to freely without really getting drained, like an inner circle. Maintaining a conversation with others takes a lot of energy, thought and even determination. If I'm not putting conscious effort in (and sometimes even when I am) it can just come out as me smiling, shaking my head and going "aha", sometimes I even forget eye contact. Lately I've started awkwardly dropping empty phrases just to say something. Doesn't feel genuine, but for the most part people just seem happy to get something to latch on to :D Maybe it's an introvert or anxiety thing, not sure. I'm not diagnosed with anything, but I relate to some of the elements in these videos.
Evija3000 I’ve noticed it more lately since I’ve had to wear a mask, and people can’t see my facial expressions as well, so I have to put more effort into talking or hand gestures. I have trouble with eye contact though and people seem to try to force eye contact when wearing a mask, so I look at their masks instead.
It does seem to be exhausting trying to maintain a conversation. I do better of text or messenger because I really have a hard time conveying what I want to say and how to say a message so it comes out in a "socially acceptable" way. This gives me time to think.
That used to be a thing in my family. Mom would be talking about something asking if I messed it up or put it back in the wrong place, and she'd point to it, like this: "Did you leave the coffee pot on?" (points to it) I continue looking at her, thinking back about my day "Did I have coffee today? If so, when? Do I remember turning it off?" And before I could answer she'd get angry and say "Pay attention!" and point to the coffee machine again. Trying to focus on remembering and answering her question truthfully, I didn't want distraction, so I again wouldn't look. "I'm asking you a question. (points again) The least you could do is look at what I'm pointing to. Answer me!" I (despite all the distraction) arrive at the conclusion that, no, I didn't use it today so there's no way it was me that left it on, and so I say "No." Then she'd reply "You didn't even look!", and I'd always reply "I KNOW what a coffee pot looks like, I don't need to look at it to tell you if it was me that left it on!" She would fixate on the not looking part and blame me for everything anyway. 🤦
I love how respectful and caring you are of women and girls on the spectrum. The language you use is so loving and even giving people tips on how to communicate through texts and emojis is so sweet. Thank you so much ❤️
I am losing skills as i get older. I used to be a super fast learner, my verbal skills used to be super eloquent and now i speak quite broken. I didn't realise this was a thing. Then again I have only been diagnosed for 4 years.
I'm not autistic I'm just dumb. When I was young everyone would ask me for answers and thought I was smart for whatever reason. Now I'm struggling to keep up my grades and ALWAYS falling behind because I procrastinate. I also don't study...
I’m fourteen and I think I may be autistic. Looking back, I realized I had a TON of meltdowns and still do. The majority of my meltdowns were about my clothes. I hated how they felt, and it was really hard for me to find clothes that weren’t itchy. I still do have trouble with clothing, but not as much. I can’t talk to people I don’t know well, and i also can’t make eye contact with them. I also don’t like to be completely verbal and tend to go a couple hours without talking. I also tend not to not answer with talking. I usually don’t know what to say, or just don’t want to say it. I don’t mind hugs all the time, but often I do pull away. I like them if I’m the one who started it, or if I really need comforting. I have a lot of trouble with instructions, following them, and remembering them. I also have a really hard time with difficult school work. I break down a lot. If I’m not fidgeting with something I start spinning my arms around. As for the skill thing, I’ve never really paid attention, but I’m sure there are words I struggle with that I didn’t used to. I tend to have a hard time sleeping too. I’ll often go into my parents room and have them put me back to bed. If I ask to sleep with them and they say no I get really upset and start crying myself to sleep. I also have a really time opening up about things, and if I can’t get it out I get very angry and start yelling at the person I’m talking to. For instance: I want to tell my mom I thing I have autism but I can’t. Of course there’s other things I have trouble saying but this is one of them. I also have a really hard time relating to people, and understanding they don’t see things like I do. Sooo how likely is it that I’m autistic? ‘:)
Sounds like you really need someone to sit down and work this out with you. Sounds to me like you could definitely be on the spectrum. I hope you can find a way to talk to your parents about it.
Send your mom this video in a text and say "this sounds like me. Can I go see a counselor to learn more?" Getting support will help you accept and love these neurodivergent traits and learn to work with them to be calmer and happier.
Girls in general are taught that they must be social and be the one making people comfortable in a social envrionment. I think that is why girls with autism have better social skills or are better at hiding their symptoms, because a girl having autistic symptoms is a lot less accepted than a boy having them (though it is not particularly accepted in boys either).
@Azim Premji your child is still autistic. Why are you trying to get 'rid' of their autistic self? You're going to grow a self hating child, who once they're old enough, is gonna hate you too. Stop doing whatever you are doing
@Mp the herbs??? What?? Autism is a neurotype!!! Not something to cure!!! Just allow your kid to be around other autistic kids, and celebrate your child. Stop trying to constantly change your child into something theyre not, in the long run it will only harm them
I really struggle with feeling how other people are feeling. My boyfriend once accused me of being self centred. He said "Sometimes I don't think you think about other people's feelings."
@@chevychelios4672 Thank you. I know, what my ex said really upset me because the reason he said it was because when my cousin died I dealt with it by keeping busy and mum had to drive me to all the groups and clubs that I was going to and he said you didn't think about how she felt. Well, to be perfectly honest with you no I didn't. It's called self preservation. You cannot physically think of something until you think of it! Grief isn't a rational thing.
@@ausomeaspie Philippians 4:6-8 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
When I went for my diagnosis, they said I can’t be “more on the spectrum” because I “give eye contact” (I don’t, i pretend) and I can tell people’s feelings. They showed me pictures of like monkeys or something and was like, are the monkeys happy or sad. So I said sad, he said why? I said, the other monkey bonked him on the head. The psychologist knew I’m a character artist. He was diagnosing me like a little boy. Also, I talked at 11 months old and walked at 12 months old. Reading by 2, all that. Everything else you said is me. Like if someone points I’m like... WHERE...WHAT?? I also HATE authority. “Because I said so” is NOT good enough. I have lost skills and I now exhibit dyspraxic traits as well as auditory processing issues. But I don’t feel I ever had these? I must have done. I dunno. It’s hard because they won’t diagnose me, they said I AM on the spectrum but they can’t say “you have ASD” because I can tell people’s feelings. Because I’ve learnt. Not because I just can. But they don’t know that do they. I also can’t express what I need/want and I’ll just start crying and say THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT. it’s really fucking hard in a family setting. It makes everyone else’s life hard. That’s all I care about, I can be really fucking exhausting. Even for myself. Like even though I can tell from someone’s face what they’re feeling, I can’t guess. I can’t read the room. It’s fucking so hard. Or maybe they look sad, but they’re not? Idk it’s hard to explain, I’ll see myself out!
I wish people didn't base the diagnosis so soley on the biased data. It was all geared toward males. They only studied men so the way they diagnose is improper and biased. They should do more studies with girls and women and they should base diagnosis more so on the sensory stimulus stuff. Everyone and almost exclusively only people on the spectrum experience that so that is the more reliable diagnosis. (Disclaimer I'm not a doctor just someone who has autism and who did research.) I'm really sorry you're having a rough time. That really sucks. I hope things get better. If you ever need to talk I'm here to listen. I know I'm just a random stranger on the internet but the offer still stands. If you just need to rant one day and just need someone to listen and you don't have anyone to rant to, let me know.
Being able to recognize feelings and say why they are that way is different than putting it into practice. If I have time to pick apart a trillion little details I can tell an emotion and why it's there, but in the moment in a real social setting? I can't. Also the eye contact thing? I look behind people. Over their shoulder. At their chest. Their feet. Their eyebrows. But anytime I try to actually look people in the eye my eyes just slide off. I can't keep them focused there. Someone actually following where your eyes go will be able to tell when your faking, unless they aren't really trying to see where they go. Also you may be having more sensory or movement issues because you are getting more in tune with what your body is doing. When I first started paying attention, I noticed so many sensory things that hurt or bother me (a lot) that I hadn't let my self pay attention to. Movement gets difficult when you are growing and not used to your center of balance, which makes dyspraxia more apparent. I am not very coordinated, but when I try to keep my center of balance close to me instead of further back on my heels or to the left or right, I find it easier to stay properly upright.
This is where I am at too! They say that I have a lot of traits of asd but since I can read body language and emotions that I don't have asd, but I learned how to read body language and form bonds with people by learning through horses. Horses taught me how important body language is, and how relationships work. Without first learning from horses I would never have been able to read body language and emotions at all. And honestly I'm still really bad at it. Also, my psychologist says that I'm too good with conversation, but I'm only that way one on one. She doesn't see all the terribly awkward and embarrassing situations I cause because I just don't understand how to read emotions. Also somehow I can articulate my feelings so people think I can't be autistic, but it took so much practice to get to that point.
I was lucky enough to have a pretty big regression at age three, so I actually know about it. That being said, it’s pretty difficult in a neurotypical family setting, particularly with triggers (yelling)
Hey my daughter responded not consistently. She has ASD level 2 and ADHD. She seeks tight hugs, bump into people. She rage a lot, she has difficulties following one simple instruction at a time, she has speech delay, echolalia, spins a lot, line up everything, form patterns...She is 4 My son in the other hand, doesn’t like to be cuddle, they are opposite. Both of them have difficulties understanding people’s emotions and feelings...
1. Teach them to answer closed questions clearly with Yes or No or I don't know. Ex: 'Do you want to eat this banana?' Or 'Do you like singing?' Or 'Do you care about animals?' Trust me if you keep doing this, you will learn a lot about how to be a loving thoughtful parent and you will see the world like your children are seeing. Because they tend to say what they mean and mean what they say for they are the children of truth. 2. Teach them to read the Bible because the Truth was prophesied and born and live and die and resurrected and return to heaven there. 3. Pray because God is great at mercy. 4. Love them like Jesus loves the sinners and His disciples.
@@tourmelion9221 Matthew 19:13-14 Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. "
I was seen as a very "independent" child because I did NOT like being cuddled and wanted to do my own thing. When I was a baby for example, if I was being held I wanted to be held facing out rather than tucked into to my parents' chests. Just diagnosed at age 29 and now my life makes so much sense!
I feel so guilty that I am uncomfortable with and don't want to be hugged by my parents. It's caused me a fair bit of self loathing because I think I must be an awful person to not want to show physical affection to my loved ones
1. Not responding to their name by 12 months. 2. They prefer not to be held or hugged. 3. Not being able to follow instructions. 4.Wont look at where somebody is pointing. 5.May lose skills as they get older. May have a restricted vocabulary. 6. Can’t express needs and wants. 7.Difficulty understanding someone’s feelings.
I find I relate to almost all of them: 2, 3 (I've found report cards from elementary school with the majority of comments being I wouldn't follow instructions and would do things on my own), 5 (I just finished a degree in engineering, but I find things to be a lot harder to do now then I used to), 6 and 7. I've never been diagnosed, but the more I learn about autism, I find a lot of my quirks and reactions to things growing up fit. I'm just not sure if it's worth the money to get tested now
@@lonerhappy I think you are right, I'm reading the book Complex PTSD From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. He says many people get diagnosed with other things when it is caused by trauma.
@@moraim6204 not that I'm aware of (are you asking regarding emotional trauma or physical?) I have had a few small head injuries, but most of the signs I'm relating to can be traced to before those injuries which is why I dont think they are connected
Number 6 . It really is frustrating and stressful when you can't explain what you want and need. Even thinking about the situation makes me feel close to tears. Amazing video. Love and wishing you well from North Yorkshire England. I didn't get diagnosed till either just before or after my 17th birthday. I'm 19 now. Turned 19 on Wednesday 22nd.
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Please talk more about loosing vocabulary. In my case sometimes I just forget very simple words, and I feel angry because of this. When i want to say somethings I just don't know the word like "paper" so I keep using words like "stuff". I mean a lot...
@@chevychelios4672 What? I thinkyou misunderstand the original point. It's not that OP doesn't know the word, more that the OP (and many autistic girls and women) will be unable to access the word when needed in a conversation.
@@adorabell4253 John 9:1-3 As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind? " Jesus answered, "It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.
My first language is Spanish and my mom tells me when in was little I used to speak very fluently and good, but now I make grammatical mistakes and I forget words and the use of some words. I learned English a while ago and Now i notice I’ve been sheltering in English because i feel so much confortable speaking in English than in Spanish and i find myself missing Spanish vocabulary but knowing much more in English.
Hey I can relate to this! I was never fluent in Spanish, as only one of my parents speaks it as a first language, but older family members from the Spanish side tell me that as a little kid I spoke Spanglish, whereas now I can understand it more than most but don’t really speak it much. Although that might just be me afraid to sound like a gringa.
I am bilingual in English and Spanish and I've been lucky to keep grasp of both languages I thought maybe I would lose some when I got older but I haven't which surprises me because I don't speak Spanish anymore because there's no one around who speaks Spanish but me but if I get the chance to speak Spanish with anyone I usually am able to speak as fluent as I used to I'm glad I haven't forgotten any of it at least so far
There are literally videos of my mother trying to get me to respond to my name and I just dont react. My sisters are in the background asking her to ask them something so they can be on camera and I'm just sort of off in my own world! All of these are like spot on, another awesome and informative video!!!
I knew how to swim when I was seven, And I tried again the next summer and I couldn’t swim anymore.... lol also I used to be able to play the guitar, one year later... forgot all the chords. And then of course there are lots of words I used to know, but don’t anymore. But I think that’s just forgetting 😂
I used to draw a lot every day, then suddenly stopped for 2 years. When I started to draw again, I forgot how to do it for some reason. I had to start from zero. At least I'm learning it again. I don't wanna give up.
I used to be pretty good at maths, then a teacher told me to do division and I didn't know how to do division but I didn't want to ask for help. So I tried to figure it out on my own and got in trouble, this kept happening and now I refuse to do any math at all. And no I'm not going to ask for help.
John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. "
Me: Not diagnosed until I was in my 30's -12 months old, My mother screaming my name at the top of her lungs until I cried because she screamed. Not realizing my name was called. -Cuddling itches. Makes my skin crawl. Deep pressure hugs are okay as long as they are short and sweet. If it lasts too long I feel like I'm being body slammed instead of hugged. -Write it down and I'll go over it to make sure I do it right. Otherwise, instructions are useless. -I'm looking at your finger, not what you are pointing at. In order to compensate, I memorized an early scene from Enter the Dragon where Bruce Lee tells his student to look at the moon. -I used to do needlepoint. Used to enjoy it a lot. Still can, to some extent, but it takes a lot more effort and thought. Not fun anymore. -I say I need stuff, thing , whats it, that, and a dozen other nonsense words and flying tangents when I have a caffeine headache and need a cup of coffee. I ed up in screaming, crying fits often when I need something more substantial. -I have a bad habit of apologizing because I'm not sure if the person is mad, sad or whatever. Their mood is almost never what I think it is.
I feel like high-fiving is sort of similar to pointing? Because whenever someone tries to high-five me, I get overwhelmed and confused, like I won't look at their hand at first so I won't know what they're trying to do, but then I'll be starting at their hand until we touch hands and it's generally a frustrating experience rather than a rewarding one.
Thank you for this video. Right on time where I feel that im being misunderstood by people who"s profession is meant to help me dealing with my ASD. I was very frustrated the last days. They often believe that I can do more than i show, they overestimate me..(also being accused of pushing people away). So, this video is really very supportive to guard my boundaries, especially the connecting to other people part. Thank you
It wasn’t until my daughter was diagnosed I realize I was autistic as well 💜🌈 I was misdiagnosed with Tourette’s at age 6 and everything in between so by the time I was an adult I was a mess. My precious gift, my baby is how I realized who I truly am 🥰
I got my diagnosis 3 years ago at 27 years old . And just because I mention in my therapy I had sometimes a feeling of fear in all my body with certain things or sounds , or objects or even people voice . Then the tests started and here I am finally understanding my entire life :)
I can see some of these things on the list being confused with signs of past trauma. preferring not to be held or cuddled difficulty explaining what they want or need difficulty understanding how other people are feeling
That's why there are far more things they ask you about during assessment, and they ask whether you've always experienced something or if it became an issue later in life. Most people will also have had an least one form of treatment for trauma, either medication or talk therapy (even briefly) and the majority of people see improvement with that. It can be tricky to see the difference if you only look at these tiny pieces out of context, but that's why the assessments are so extensive and why self diagnosis is not a good thing.
People on the autism spectrum are very easily traumatized anyways.This is just an assumption, but the reason autistic people may show these signs is because they've been traumatized some point in their life. Likely from something that most people wouldn't usually see is traumatizing. Definitely does sound like something that could just be a trauma response though.
The loss of skills and the “rejection” of following commands is sooooo true. Those two are heavy in my life and so, so frustrating. Making a communication of need vs want and asking for help is so difficult!! I even went thru training as a kid to help with “social interaction and public speaking”. I haven’t been officially diagnosed, but it was heavily suspected as me being “OCD, Learning Disabled while being genius IQ and avoidance of authority”. As an adult I was diagnosed with OCD and ADHD with autistic traits, and later PTSD. Thanks for all your videos, it makes it easier to share why I don’t “fit” and it’s ok. :)
Wondering if some of that "lost speech" is selective mutism. I never regressed but oh how it frustrated my poor mother that I hated to be touched. And I could never understand why my brother would cry when we got dropped off at childcare or the babysitter's. It was so alien to little Aspie me to reject routine. Good info overall.
I can relate to several of these traits. I just figured it out over the past year why I've always felt out of place in most social settings, and a slew of other traits and tendencies that seem weird to others, "Because Autism." "Not looking when someone is pointing" -- what happens in my mind is that I do look, but there are too many things to "Look at That" one thing they're pointing to. Lately, I've been telling my husband, "There are a lot of "that" over there. Please describe which "that" I should look at." Recent example: He asked something like, "When did we get that pillow" or "where did that pillow come from," when there were five different pillows on the couch. So I asked "Which one? What color is it?" -- I've been using that question a lot, "what color is it," to help someone give me a better clue to identify which "that one" they're talking about. "Cannot follow directions" -- I struggle to remember a whole sequence of directions. To help embed the sequence, such as driving directions, "go this far to that landmark and turn that way to ...," I've been turning my gaze downward to an invisible drawing board in my mind and setting my face to an "intently listening and processing" expression (telegraph to the other person that i am paying close attention without looking directly at them) while also using my hands to gesture the directions to myself, to better visualize and feel each part, "Go Through (one, two, three) Traffic Lights and Turn Left or Right." All too often, I get the words for Left and Right mixed up, which I've learned is also an Autism Thing, so gesturing with the correct hand toward the correct side helps me to better connect the word to which way I'm supposed to go. I'd like to share more experiences wherein I've related to some of these descriptions, but, just like with following a series of directions, I have forgotten by now what I wanted to share and where I wanted to go with it.
Just found your channel through this video and immediately subscribe after! My daughter who is almost 3 and was just diagnosed with ASD2, sensory processing disorder, OCD, and Dyspraxia. The facts you shared are all so true and we’re obvious with our daughter by the time she was two. She spoke about 20 words then within a month they were all gone besides one, apple, word which she constantly repeats. She likes pressure squeezes from me but not others and laughs at people or characters that are crying. She has never responded to her name and cannot follow even one simple instruction. Although all children on the spectrum are totally unique, this video could not be more true for us! Thanks for sharing!
I have almost all symptoms and it seems like the more I ignore them, the more I have trouble expressing what I need and losing touch with it. You really reminded me of what I need to focus on and that I’m not alone 😊
I'm telling parents do not be ashamed it is something that happens. I was discovered later in life that was my problems growing when my 1st daughter was diagnosed & my mother realized this was my issues.An found out that it was recommended that I be tested but my father refused so please there is no shame get your child tested when recommended. Blessings
Key: Idk = only my parents, family, and/or friends would know the answer Yes and no = depending on scenario or what is being referred to Yes = I am like this No = I am not like this 1.) Idk 2.) People will say yes, but I like hugs and cuddles as long as I'm expecting them or warned, so I think both yes and no 3.) Yes 4.) No 5.) It depends on what it is. Talents, hobbies, and interests? I would never lose my skills, so no. However, there are some basic life skills that I know I've gotten worse at. My verbal communication and word knowledge has actually increased, rather than decreased. So, yes and no depending. 6.) Yes 7.) No
@@Tsukiwookie Matthew 11:4-6 And Jesus answered them, "Go and tell John what you hear and see: the blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them. And blessed is the one who is not offended by Me. "
Thank you for making videos for girls! It’s so frustrating because I think there could be just as many girls with autism but because we’re raised in a much stricter manner than boys and know how to mask symptoms from a very young age (which is just detrimental for mental health)
If it's possible, meet and ask other people on the spectrum in person their opinion on you. We often recognize each other. Plus. socializing difficulty people on the spectrum have is not necessarily having anxiety(emotional difficulty) about it. Rather, many of us don't feel anxiety but have technical difficulties-like causing misunderstandings with actions, words that can be inappropriate to neurotypicals. Again, this doesn't necessarily have to do with emotional cause but neurological. Therefore consider if you have other common neurological traits like eidetic memory(I memorize a movie by watching it one time), sensory overload(ex:can't listen to one person's talking in the noisy environment while people who are with don't feel the same), strength in detail, etc.
This is so accurate. I find communication so difficult and poeple dont think I have autisum because I so called act normally. Which just makes it more difficult than it already is.
Really appreciate you doing this video. As a woman with autism, it's hard having it because it feels like a lot of the signs don't fit. This really helped. I related to a lot of the signs, in particular the one about not liking to be hugged. I've never liked it. I'm only really ok with a close family member hugging me but it's still more for them than me. There's an instance from my childhood that sticks out. I'd fallen while running outside & cut my knee pretty bad. I didn't want to be hugged or comforted like a neurotypical kid. I just wanted to be left alone. It always really confused my mom. But she trys to be understanding. It was because of her advocating for me that I got diagnosed. Going to share this with her & my therapist.
I’m just now coming across your videos. These remind me so much of my daughter. Every single one, There were so many signs when she was younger but she was 13 finally getting diagnosed. The losing of skills irritated one of her teachers so badly.
Errrrrmagoodness, trying to express my needs and emotions. SO freaking hard. And then people try to help by trying to provide words for me... which ends up just confusing and overwhelming me because it wasn't the words I needed and now those words are clogging things up and the right words are even harder to find and aaaaahhhhhhhhh. :-\
This comment is very well written and clearly demonstrates your emotion and what you’re going through. Wasn’t freaking hard, was it? It just takes us a loooooot more effort.
@@LMNNT Not sure where you're going there - it's relatively easy to say that there's a ton of stuff that I can't figure out how to express and often ends in me snapping and making everyone else upset. :-\ Your comment was also very well written and demonstrates your own emotion in being frustrated at how difficult it is. Being able to articulate that expressing yourself is frustrating/difficult doesn't mean that because you can articulate that, it's easy to actually express the right emotion. Yes, it was not "freaking hard" to type that emotions are hard. Just like it wasn't hard for you to type the same thing.
PS I have written at least 500 words every single day since 2007 - being articulate through the written word is something I have put quite a lot of time and effort into on a daily basis for close to fourteen years. I'm grateful I've been at it long enough that I can be considered articulate in written comments! :-)
Instructions are something that I've always struggled with. I remember crying as a kid because my mum was trying to teach me the 10 times table and I just couldn't get it. over time I learned that I can only teach myself. I also dont particularly like hugs or being affectionate, especially with babies and toddlers. everyone around me is hugging them and making weird noises and I just wave and it feels weird to pick them up and be affectionate.
I’m the same with both the things you listed. My family are super affectionate and always want hugs from me but I just hate it and don’t even know how to do it ?
I just recently got diagnosed at 21, but watching this video really made me reflect on how I was when I was younger and I struggled with most of these, and there’s some that I struggle with today. It’s kind of frustrating to see how apparent it was that I was struggling.. my mom even tried to get me diagnosed when I was younger but apparently the testing on girls wasn’t good when I was a kid and she suggested I get tested again and I’m glad that I did. I hope though that I can help more people understand so that no more girls like me get missed.
I am 33 and an authistic girl. Yes my world seem different from the real world. Its very difficult to follow someone, or instructions ... Im gonna follow your channel. Thank you for your video.
I love hugs! I love to party and go to concerts mostly because of the bodies surrounding me and touching my body. That, together with the overstimulation by the lights and sound, is what makes it awesome. The more I listen to this video, I ask myself if this is directed towards classical autism. I have Aspergers, and I don't match with this at all haha
my mother told me i started talking at 3 months old, and by the time i was 6 months old, I was speaking in full sentences . I didn't use contractions. then i stopped talking all together . Until I was three years old, and then I started writing, my first word I sounded out was ....out.......my mom was awed.
The part about losing some of the ability to speak is really interesting and a bit scary. I've noticed lately that I have more and more difficulty finding my words in English (my second language). My speech is slow and quite monotonous (I think) because I often have to pause to think of the next words. I keep apologising half jokingly that 'I can't speak English anymore'. Although I don't have this problem while writing, and it could be attributed to me speaking my native language with my boyfriend most of the time. I hope it's just a phase!
I've been calling it an internal stutter for a long time because I didn't have a better name for it, but I'll get stuck mid-sentence as my brain literally can't find the word I need. It's a really sore spot for me because language is a special interest for me and generally something I'm good at.
(Unsure if I have ASD, but curious bc a lot fits w/EDS and related issues) I do not like being touched for the most part. It was especially awful as a kid because I just didn't know how to articulate why I was saying no. A lot of the time I was even forced or guilt-tripped into hugs and it didn't matter who it was whether I liked them or not. I still don't like hugs unless it's my partner. The forced hugging just made me hate them more. Not being able to follow instructions!! I have to have someone coach me through it. It actually send me into panic attacks due to the previous experiences I'd had. Difficulty explaining what I need or want is also a big one for me. Especially if emotion is involved. I'm best at explaining via text or notes than speaking one on one when I am emotionally constipated in the brain and struggling to verbalize. I do tend to be really emotionally intelligent and pick up on things quickly, I just struggle to articulate things accurately because I feel so deeply for them. It's hard to figure out what I need to do to fix it(help them) and it comes off as super callous sometimes. Especially not being a hugger. Great vid as always. Really learned a lot and it is greatly appreciated.
I’m not the spectrum but I’ve had so much difficulty expressing what I need, want, and especially how I feel. Especially as a child the only thing I could do was cry because I just didn’t know how to communicate very well. Also understanding how other people feel. My mom always says “try to put yourself in (insert person here)’s shoes” and I’m like uhhhhh I can’t do that? Like I have no clue how other people feel in situations.
Elaina Smith sounds like alexithymia (also known as emotional blindness)! It’s often comorbid with autism (which is why people on the spectrum are known as having difficulty with recognizing and/or expressing emotions) but you can have it on its own. Here’s an online test for it: www.alexithymia.us/alexithymia-questionnaire-online-test I have alexithymia and something that helps a lot is writing about my emotions. It’s so much easier than talking about it. And as far as understanding others emotions, studying psychology and human behavior has made a difference for me. Hope that helps!
Yes, I relate to so many of these signs. Before I was diagnosed Level 1 autistic only last year at age 46, I had been diagnosed with other conditions that didn't fully add up (OCD, GAD). I had suspected being autistic for 10 yrs before being formally diagnosed. I also remember losing specific skills as a child. I learned how to ride a bike when I was 6, but then forgot how, & had to re-learn it when I was 8. I remember being eloquent in certain settings, but then would have bouts of mutism in others.
I am E's mom, she self diagnosed in her 20's. I feel mother guilt, how did I not know this. She seems to be angry, I did take her to councilors but no one helped. She went to group and told me she was glad I pushed her because the other young adults with early diagnosis were less able to function. She drives her car and has a job.
Thank you so much for doing videos like this! It's so helpful to understand myself a little bit more. I've been called so many things by my family for not liking hugs or being touched and it's something that really didn't become super noticeable until my teenage years, and I still just don't like being touched or hugged unless I really trust someone, and it's still hard for me to do because I just feel disgusted at the idea of being hugged. And it's so nice to know that it's something that isn't something that only I experience. I really resonated with a lot of these signs and I can't thank you enough for doing videos like this for people like me who are unsure and struggling with themselves.
Yes! The pointing thing! It drove my mum crazy. I didn't like to cuddle or be held either. I still have trouble following instructions. It's like white noise. I need to see a demonstration.
Sometimes I wish I could be like those cuddly cute girls. I want to hug my mom and brother so bad but the feeling of it it’s so weird like I have to stop hugging because I can’t. Sometimes I can but little times
I really enjoyed this and I think this helps a bit to see more if I do have Autisum I'm FTM trans so even if I didn't want the female signs of Autisum I'll still have them. I've had quite the journey with mental things. (I don't like the word illness because I don't think I'm ill) I've been to like 5 different doctors and therapists all trying to find out if I have autism and the resonings behind my "anger issues." Idk. Ive thought about done some reacher and I think I could have 7 mental things (a long with gender dysphoria ). I'd rather not say them but they are there. It's been weird and watching ur vids have helped a lot with reassurance and info. 😁 my name is Kai btw
It happens to me when I get very emotional or upset. I start to not breathe when I'm trying to talk. I become apathetic, maybe get the shakes. It gets worse when someone believes I'm doing it for attention. Can't move, can't breathe, and just wanting to hide so it can stop. I don't know about anyone else, but I find typing and switching words with the same meaning can help me. Not a guarantee. We are wired the way we are wired.
I had a communication issue yesterday. The chemist was, I guess, explaining why i couldnt have the meds i had a script for. But she sounded like Blah, blah, waffle, waffle and i just couldnt compehend anything. I asked could i please have the quick version of what she was saying. But she didnt change what she was saying at all. I was getting more and more frustrated. But i knew i needed to stay polite. I hope i did manage that. But it is so damn frustrating when I need to pick up meds and i cant. A couple of weeks ago another chemist was telling me each day they would be ready. Then it took 3 trips before i did get them.
Not following instructions, that is so hard….along with forgetting stuff that I was good at, but I can re-remember it, ex: a particular painting or drawing technique, to remember I need to focus and mess around until I get it back…tho this is something I always thought this was due to the beatings, never had a clue it could be anything else. Takes a bit of stress off. :) There’s a thing about not learning/remembering that’s similar to what happened to me from all the beatings (head), it’s similar to what you mentioned here. As it was explained to me by a specialist, I’m paraphrasing and simplifying: when info comes into the eyes, it goes to a place where it’s transferred into the brain to be stored. Often in head injuries that eye connection is lost, or disconnected to varying degrees, and the incoming info goes to the wrong place. Like an electrical connection and the wires aren’t connecting up too well any more. I like to picture it as leggo’s being randomly dumped into piles instead of neatly and orderly stacked by color. The info is still there, but I can’t find it when I need it, not even after rummaging thru the massive leggo pile….then, that rascal waits to pop up a week later when I don’t need it. Expressing emotions had always been difficult, and I’d dance around it so much that people would become really annoyed w/me, until my therapist helped me to stop and think first what the emotion was and find the word that matched it. Then I used that technique for regular communication, it was really slow (agonizingly slow actually) in the beginning because I had to picture what I wanted to say first then find the words (sometimes forgetting my train of thought along the way and have to bail), but as time went on it became easier. Also, I am empathetic and strongly experience other people’s feelings.
I’m 56 years old. My dad had many symptoms of Aspergers (confirmed by a befriended psychologist). I grew up emotionally neglected, my mum suffering from recurrent depression. Although I chose a profession where I touch and interact with people a lot (HUGE learning curve that has taught me so much about social interaction), I learned only 5 years ago that I really have difficulty letting myself being touched. I used to hide this drinking alcohol on occasions). I have 2 children (a boy and a girl) which both show symptoms as well. But the symptoms with emotional neglect in childhood seem to overlap. It being a learned way a behaving. How can one tell the difference? I remember the pediatrician waving off my huge difficulties with my sons childhood meltdowns, we really went through difficult times! I have found a very good and clear information brochure on Aspergers and made it accessible to them in case they were interested. They are 16 and 19 years old. I think it is very helpful to “know thyself”, to face life’s challenges. I feel there is not a lot more I can do at this stage without trying to label them against their will (which is out of the question). I do appreciate the content of your channel a lot. Thank you!🙏🏻
made my almost cry cause you nailed it and this is things I cant explain to people about how I am and hoping this helps me be able to explain more on how I function
I love hugs and cuddles. I only cuddle my mom and I only like when I give hugs. I hate when people are behind me it makes me shiver like nai,nails, on a chalk board. My grandma gave me a hug and I hated it. It made me tingle and feel awkward and she said "hug me back" so I reluctantly hugged her back, then she plays with my hair and it feels like weird I just hate it. Tomorrow I'm gonna ask my mom to take me to a doctor
Oh hell yes - i HATE being touched!!! Even as a child...i actually cannot understand why no one noticed earlier...when i'm reflecting my childhood there were sooooo many signs already. One teacher even wanted to talk to my parents about me holding my ears shut when the class was noisy...but they said that's just me...so that was that. Super grateful about all the Information nowadays...that alone already helps me so much! ❤ i am still not officially diagnosed, but it explains ALL of my problems in life so far,..so even without official diagnosis this was extemely eye opening and helpful...it's difficult for me to make phone calls and open up (as silly as it sounds, but that really is an obstacle..doctors appointments in general are a problem for me) ...especially knowing it won't be easy as a girl..as always..and i'm very tired of it now being 38...but as soon as the Covid Situation is a little bit better i wanna go for it and try getting diagnosed...i also notice it would be great to actually be able to get a little help with a few things...hope you all are doing well during the Covid Situation
when I was young I didn't like to be held - even when I was being breast fed I hated it - I still don't really like being hugged but for me there is a distinction because I like to snuggle up to people. So I do like physical contact but it is kind of like a only on my terms kind of deal
I have ASD level 1 (formerly Aspergers syndrome) I love hugs from people I’m comfortable with but I’m standoffish with strangers and don’t like hugs from them.
I'd look into it but I've heard from girls on the spectrum can be very outgoing and good with eye contact but gives too much eye contact etc because they are over compensating.
agree. i also get pissed when ppl dont look me in the eye. Im overly trained i social vies and when i dont receive them i dont know how to respond. and look at other ppl lol to see how to respond. I learned this when i fidnt understand jokes in elementary school lol.
I do that! I was taught how to do eye-contact but it's never natural so I constantly need to remember to do it which leads to just staring alternately at the left and then the right eye.
@@shisama9637 Not necesarily uncomfortable, but just not knowing when to stop. So I overthink "am I staring at one eye too much? Do I switch? Do I look away? Can they tell that I'm actually just staring at their eye ball and not looking them in the eye? ...and now I've missed what they just said."
I never ever like hugs from others unless I know them very well or I’m just comfortable with them in general. I usually like to initiate hugs to feel safer, and it’s the same way with people standing close to me my whole body just says it’s dangerous to be close to people in a way. It makes me panic
Hi Dan I wanted to make a request. You may already know of Megan Rhiannon she lives in your part of the world. She just wrote a new book, Existing Autistic. I would like it if you could talk with her about her new book which focuses on adults on the spectrum and do a video. I was very impressed with what she has to say. Thank you.
1. Not responding to name by 12 months of age. 2. Prefer not to be held/cuddled/hugged 3. Not being able to follow instructions. 4. Won't look at something else when someone is pointing at it. 5. Might lose certain skills as they get older. 6. Difficulty in expressing what they want or need 7. Difficulty in understanding how others are feeling. Are these for minors, or do they apply to adults as well?
I have number 1 but also have absence seizures so it's hard for them to tell if I had a seizure or am in my head. I have 2 and im still not cuddly. I have 3 but also have adhd. I have 4 and sometimes still don't look when ppl are pointing. I have 5 but seizures make me lose the skills. I have 6 and it's annoying 🤦 and ppl make it worse. I have 7 and it's also annoying. Dang I have all of them 🤣🤣
My parents don't remember much of my childhood, they were always at work and I was left with a nanny. I also don't remember much before my 7th birthday.... So trying to figure out my childhood traits has been almost imposible :'(
Oh my god at least three are spot on! Team no hugs here. And for the language difficulty I am learning ASL because I am very interested in Deaf culture. However signing is great for me to comunícate sometimes! (Well... with my friends who sign 😅)
As an Autistic guy this makes me happy lol xD And also i do believe thats the reason why Females are "less likely" to get it, its not that its less likely its that its much harder to spot lol
1) not responding to name - I have had this lifelong habit of meeting people and letting them decide what they want to call me. I have an old school name with a lot of nicknames, and it never really seemed to fit me, so I never cared what version of it people called me. 2) Don't like to be hugged by certain people and yes, it has to be firm hug. Same with handshakes; I get creeped out by a weak handshake from a man. 3) Ikea instructions are perfect for me because they're visual. I have a very hard time following written instructions for assembling things. 4) not sure about this one. 5) I've noticed recently that I've had trouble finding my words in certain situations. 6) I've always been terrible at communicating wants and needs with my family and especially in relationships. It also happens at work; I get frustrated at not being seen/heard, but I usually let things boil up and then have an outburst in frustration. 7) I relate to animals more than people. I've always had very few friends and usually choose people with really dominant/extroverted personalities because it's less work for me.
I only like hugs when I'm the one initiating them.
I agree and it’s so funny because what if the other person feels the same way, it’s such a silly mess 🙈
Exactly, I love hugs but I flinch when people hug me lol, when I hut them it's fine tho
Same!
Same.
Me too
I have such a hard time verbalizing my thoughts and feelings and I am notorious for writing long letters and text messages to get all of my thoughts out.
wow i thought i was the only one who wrote dear john letters! its because i have trouble expressing myself like u.....
Same
That’s why I have a blog. It’s so that I can take the time to put my feelings and thoughts out there for everyone to see without bugging my friends too much. I found that my friends got sorta pissed when I texted them all of my problems and never talked about it in person. I don’t really know why it upset them so much, but I gave them all the blog link and when they saw it, they saw it. It was less direct and it made me feel better. Also, when strangers commented or liked what I posted it made me feel like my feeling were valid. Highly suggest Wordpress for it.
SAME! But I don’t think I’m autistic or I have Aspergers
Omgosh, same!!;
I am so bad at describing feelings, but sometimes I hear a song or picture and then suddenly I am like that's it.
It’s a great way of demonstrating how we feel
Yes!!!
I realised that I use upset when I feel anything that's not positive
Yeah I struggle so much I go around the bend just trying to explain what I’m feeling, I use poetry examples, metaphors, and the best ones are songs. But it’s so so difficult. I end up saying or making them feel like I meant something completely different than what I’m trying to express. Which isn’t good when in their perspective is seen as hostile or rude. I don’t know these things until it’s too late.all I was attempting was to get my emotions out and explain what’s wrong.
Sometimes they even think I’m lying about something because I go around the bend trying to explain my emotions. But I really can’t comprehend how to properly explain my feelings.
Studies for autism are typically done exclusively on boys, which is why there is a significant bias toward males with autism in how people with autism are diagnosed and what symptoms of autism are. That is why there appears to be more boys with autism. Women with autism are much harder to diagnose because of this bias.
And perhaps women are better at masking it?
@@belawood Yup. I forgot to add that.
I have a hearing loss, and my family figured I was 'weird' due to being partially deaf. On the upside, it had me with a therapist to teach me how to talk and function. On the downside, having my mother frustrated with me for not wanting to do what she found fun and more hiccups. I wasn't diagnosed until I had a seizure. I'm both late diagnosed with epilepsy in my sleep, which lead me to be tested and they realized I'm also autistic. I have had so much intentional training to 'behave', the learning to unmask will take some time with my therapist.
Well that's great..I have an appointment to get diagnosed in a couple weeks, and I'm female. I have actually been a bit worried that the test is geared towards males, and that the results might not be accurate
@@catz537 Unfortunately that might be the case but hopefully with a good specialist you'll get the correct diagnosis. I was diagnosed when I was little and my parents had been paying a lot of attention to me and told the specialist about how I interacted with certain stimulus which helped a lot in my diagnosis. My case is very mild so otherwise I'd be hard to diagnose. Because my parents were very attentive and I was screened at a young age it was easier for me to get diagnosed. Bringing up how stimulus affects you might be helpful (I'd assume they would bring this up anyway but I thought I'd mention it, I was reassessed a while ago and can't remember if mine did or not) but full disclosure I'm not a professional this advice is just coming from my own experiences.
Edited spelling.
I like hugs from trusted people. But it has to be tight hugs.
Same here.
Same! My mum was pretty much the only person I was actually fully comfortable to have hugs from. I'm better at it now but it still makes me uncomfortable if it's not my fiance, it's almost like the comfort of hugging my mum has switched to him.
Same!!
@@eirienevenstar Wow cool. Can't believe I recently writing a new chapter of a book that has similar experience with yours even tho I don't really know about autism. If the Lord wills it, I will end the book with both of them marrying.
Do autism girls lie?
"losing skills as time goes on"
Does this apply to us formerly-gifted people? We used to be gifted in things like language, but as time went on we starting falling behind and lagging not because we went into higher grades with people who share our same grade level, but because our brains just couldn't keep up anymore?...
I feel like this is the case with me. I was always described as profoundly gifted and right now I barely functional at all (but long term severe trauma and lack of sleep plays a part in this as well) the simplest things feel like an impossible task now. I'm so jaded and burnt out I can barely get my eyes to stay in focus or do simple arithmetic.
@@SobrietyandSolace and @Ace Trainer Annie : I'm sorry you're going through this. It's horrid, worse so for being invisible and so difficult to explain. I became burned out several years ago and went from a functional adult with a bright future to a non-functional one. My case might be a bit more extreme, I don't know.
For anyone who hasn't heard of autistic burnout, it's when the toll of trying to survive in a world that's at odds with us exceeds our ability to cope with it. Stress, anxiety, and trauma (and what counts as trauma is highly subjective) are the main factors. It's been likened to a depressive episode, and is frequently misdiagnosed as depression, but unlike depression it doesn't necessarily respond to treatment or go away. It's a highly individual phenomenon in that it can occur at any age and with any severity and frequency -- some autistics recover from it and never experience it again; others suffer repeated instances of it throughout their life; others may develop it and only partially recover, or not recover at all. Although that may sound like a pretty gloomy prediction, it's not a given that every autistic person will develop it, or that, if they do, they won't recover. The better your support structure, and the less taxes there are on your mental and physical health, the better your chances. If you're not fortunate enough to be in a good situation (and many autistics aren't), it's crucial that you try and prioritise your own wellbeing wherever possible.
@@anahadas6624 thanks for the info
@@zzulm You're welcome
You sounded so much like me...I was described as gifted but now I feel like I've lost all of my abilities...and I don't know what to do,I feel stuck.
At school I always hoped that the teacher wouldn't put someone next to me because I don't like people being around me.
I like super tight hugs or my duvet.
Alice Wright I got a weighted blanket, it’s a god send
Thank god I could sit next to my twin sister in most classes lol
I'm not autistic though (as far as I know?)
n N ~ there are many people who are autistic and don’t know it and I think that unless a person is struggling in life, it’s not necessary to know as a diagnosis is simply a way to help a person better understand themselves so they can find more effective ways of being in the world. I also think some people can have some traits of what would normally be considered ‘autistic’ and some people are neurodivergent without being on the spectrum ~ I think most people who are open minded would be less neurotypical and therefore more neurodivergent.
It’s cool you got to sit with your sister 😊
@@autumn5852 I totally agree! I think it's also difficult to draw the line between who should get a diagnosis and who isn't "autistic enough".
In the end a perfect solution that applies to all probably doesn't exist, just as you said.
I feel this. If I’m not good friends with anyone in the class then I’d much rather sit alone than next to someone I partially know
If this information had been readily available back during my early years, it would have saved me from ridicule and receiving smacks for being 'unruly' or 'dumb'.
💚
I second your post 100%.
I third your post as well. 😐
I felt
Matthew 5:22
" But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, 'You good-for-nothing, ' shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, 'You fool, ' shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.
The losing skills thing, I always loved reading and was really good at it but now I get lost fast and hate reading
Omg yes. I used to read super thick books in middle school, and now I can barely finish a few pages before putting the book down. 🥺😭
As a Girl on the spectrum i find this really interesting and looking at these signs and looking at my childhood i am surprised that the signs were so clear yet not me (as i found out about autism in 2017) or my family didn't see the signs earlier
Same here. I was diagnosed in 2017 too ..very late.
@@MariaNI-yf1bz i only got my diagnosis last year while i was near the end of Year 10
I got my diagnosis at 14 very late
@@catsaidcronchy395 i got my diagnose when i was older that 35. Its not too late for you. You can still make something out of your life
I was diagnosed at 16, just after finishing year 11
When I look back at how I was when I was a child, I think I displayed a lot more signs of autism, but I made a huge effort in high school to learn how to be social, and now it’s harder to tell. But one thing I notice is that I don’t verbally respond to people most of the time, and I have to use a lot of energy to maintain a conversation. Is that common?
I definitely have to use a lot of energy to maintain a conversation with someone
Similar issue here. There are a few close people to me that I can talk to freely without really getting drained, like an inner circle. Maintaining a conversation with others takes a lot of energy, thought and even determination. If I'm not putting conscious effort in (and sometimes even when I am) it can just come out as me smiling, shaking my head and going "aha", sometimes I even forget eye contact. Lately I've started awkwardly dropping empty phrases just to say something. Doesn't feel genuine, but for the most part people just seem happy to get something to latch on to :D
Maybe it's an introvert or anxiety thing, not sure. I'm not diagnosed with anything, but I relate to some of the elements in these videos.
Evija3000 I’ve noticed it more lately since I’ve had to wear a mask, and people can’t see my facial expressions as well, so I have to put more effort into talking or hand gestures. I have trouble with eye contact though and people seem to try to force eye contact when wearing a mask, so I look at their masks instead.
@@emilybeaudette9917 Yes, definitely, face masks make it harder.
It does seem to be exhausting trying to maintain a conversation. I do better of text or messenger because I really have a hard time conveying what I want to say and how to say a message so it comes out in a "socially acceptable" way. This gives me time to think.
That used to be a thing in my family. Mom would be talking about something asking if I messed it up or put it back in the wrong place, and she'd point to it, like this:
"Did you leave the coffee pot on?" (points to it)
I continue looking at her, thinking back about my day "Did I have coffee today? If so, when? Do I remember turning it off?" And before I could answer she'd get angry and say "Pay attention!" and point to the coffee machine again. Trying to focus on remembering and answering her question truthfully, I didn't want distraction, so I again wouldn't look.
"I'm asking you a question. (points again) The least you could do is look at what I'm pointing to. Answer me!"
I (despite all the distraction) arrive at the conclusion that, no, I didn't use it today so there's no way it was me that left it on, and so I say "No."
Then she'd reply "You didn't even look!", and I'd always reply "I KNOW what a coffee pot looks like, I don't need to look at it to tell you if it was me that left it on!"
She would fixate on the not looking part and blame me for everything anyway. 🤦
I love how respectful and caring you are of women and girls on the spectrum. The language you use is so loving and even giving people tips on how to communicate through texts and emojis is so sweet. Thank you so much ❤️
I think its because his mom and grandmother are on the spectrum, so it's very close and personal to him.
I am losing skills as i get older. I used to be a super fast learner, my verbal skills used to be super eloquent and now i speak quite broken. I didn't realise this was a thing. Then again I have only been diagnosed for 4 years.
I'm not autistic I'm just dumb. When I was young everyone would ask me for answers and thought I was smart for whatever reason. Now I'm struggling to keep up my grades and ALWAYS falling behind because I procrastinate. I also don't study...
@@nai7470 adhd?
I’m fourteen and I think I may be autistic.
Looking back, I realized I had a TON of meltdowns and still do.
The majority of my meltdowns were about my clothes. I hated how they felt, and it was really hard for me to find clothes that weren’t itchy.
I still do have trouble with clothing, but not as much.
I can’t talk to people I don’t know well, and i also can’t make eye contact with them.
I also don’t like to be completely verbal and tend to go a couple hours without talking.
I also tend not to not answer with talking. I usually don’t know what to say, or just don’t want to say it.
I don’t mind hugs all the time, but often I do pull away.
I like them if I’m the one who started it, or if I really need comforting.
I have a lot of trouble with instructions, following them, and remembering them.
I also have a really hard time with difficult school work. I break down a lot.
If I’m not fidgeting with something I start spinning my arms around.
As for the skill thing, I’ve never really paid attention, but I’m sure there are words I struggle with that I didn’t used to.
I tend to have a hard time sleeping too.
I’ll often go into my parents room and have them put me back to bed.
If I ask to sleep with them and they say no I get really upset and start crying myself to sleep.
I also have a really time opening up about things, and if I can’t get it out I get very angry and start yelling at the person I’m talking to.
For instance: I want to tell my mom I thing I have autism but I can’t. Of course there’s other things I have trouble saying but this is one of them.
I also have a really hard time relating to people, and understanding they don’t see things like I do.
Sooo how likely is it that I’m autistic? ‘:)
Sounds like you really need someone to sit down and work this out with you.
Sounds to me like you could definitely be on the spectrum.
I hope you can find a way to talk to your parents about it.
I'm 14 too, and i have some of this symptoms like you, it's been a year, you know now if you are autistic??
Send your mom this video in a text and say "this sounds like me. Can I go see a counselor to learn more?" Getting support will help you accept and love these neurodivergent traits and learn to work with them to be calmer and happier.
Girls in general are taught that they must be social and be the one making people comfortable in a social envrionment. I think that is why girls with autism have better social skills or are better at hiding their symptoms, because a girl having autistic symptoms is a lot less accepted than a boy having them (though it is not particularly accepted in boys either).
@Azim Premji your child is still autistic. Why are you trying to get 'rid' of their autistic self? You're going to grow a self hating child, who once they're old enough, is gonna hate you too. Stop doing whatever you are doing
@Mp the herbs??? What?? Autism is a neurotype!!! Not something to cure!!! Just allow your kid to be around other autistic kids, and celebrate your child. Stop trying to constantly change your child into something theyre not, in the long run it will only harm them
I really struggle with feeling how other people are feeling. My boyfriend once accused me of being self centred. He said "Sometimes I don't think you think about other people's feelings."
Do you know about "Theory Of Mind" (TOM)
@@dreamdiction No, I've not heard of that.
You are the light.
- JC -
@@chevychelios4672 Thank you. I know, what my ex said really upset me because the reason he said it was because when my cousin died I dealt with it by keeping busy and mum had to drive me to all the groups and clubs that I was going to and he said you didn't think about how she felt. Well, to be perfectly honest with you no I didn't. It's called self preservation. You cannot physically think of something until you think of it! Grief isn't a rational thing.
@@ausomeaspie
Philippians 4:6-8
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
When I went for my diagnosis, they said I can’t be “more on the spectrum” because I “give eye contact” (I don’t, i pretend) and I can tell people’s feelings. They showed me pictures of like monkeys or something and was like, are the monkeys happy or sad. So I said sad, he said why? I said, the other monkey bonked him on the head. The psychologist knew I’m a character artist. He was diagnosing me like a little boy. Also, I talked at 11 months old and walked at 12 months old. Reading by 2, all that. Everything else you said is me. Like if someone points I’m like... WHERE...WHAT?? I also HATE authority. “Because I said so” is NOT good enough. I have lost skills and I now exhibit dyspraxic traits as well as auditory processing issues. But I don’t feel I ever had these? I must have done. I dunno. It’s hard because they won’t diagnose me, they said I AM on the spectrum but they can’t say “you have ASD” because I can tell people’s feelings. Because I’ve learnt. Not because I just can. But they don’t know that do they.
I also can’t express what I need/want and I’ll just start crying and say THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT. it’s really fucking hard in a family setting. It makes everyone else’s life hard. That’s all I care about, I can be really fucking exhausting. Even for myself. Like even though I can tell from someone’s face what they’re feeling, I can’t guess. I can’t read the room. It’s fucking so hard. Or maybe they look sad, but they’re not? Idk it’s hard to explain, I’ll see myself out!
I wish people didn't base the diagnosis so soley on the biased data. It was all geared toward males. They only studied men so the way they diagnose is improper and biased. They should do more studies with girls and women and they should base diagnosis more so on the sensory stimulus stuff. Everyone and almost exclusively only people on the spectrum experience that so that is the more reliable diagnosis.
(Disclaimer I'm not a doctor just someone who has autism and who did research.)
I'm really sorry you're having a rough time. That really sucks. I hope things get better. If you ever need to talk I'm here to listen. I know I'm just a random stranger on the internet but the offer still stands. If you just need to rant one day and just need someone to listen and you don't have anyone to rant to, let me know.
Being able to recognize feelings and say why they are that way is different than putting it into practice. If I have time to pick apart a trillion little details I can tell an emotion and why it's there, but in the moment in a real social setting? I can't.
Also the eye contact thing? I look behind people. Over their shoulder. At their chest. Their feet. Their eyebrows. But anytime I try to actually look people in the eye my eyes just slide off. I can't keep them focused there.
Someone actually following where your eyes go will be able to tell when your faking, unless they aren't really trying to see where they go.
Also you may be having more sensory or movement issues because you are getting more in tune with what your body is doing. When I first started paying attention, I noticed so many sensory things that hurt or bother me (a lot) that I hadn't let my self pay attention to. Movement gets difficult when you are growing and not used to your center of balance, which makes dyspraxia more apparent.
I am not very coordinated, but when I try to keep my center of balance close to me instead of further back on my heels or to the left or right, I find it easier to stay properly upright.
I relate so heavily. I walked and talked and read early but my sensory issues are intense. I also have authority problems!
This is where I am at too! They say that I have a lot of traits of asd but since I can read body language and emotions that I don't have asd, but I learned how to read body language and form bonds with people by learning through horses. Horses taught me how important body language is, and how relationships work. Without first learning from horses I would never have been able to read body language and emotions at all. And honestly I'm still really bad at it. Also, my psychologist says that I'm too good with conversation, but I'm only that way one on one. She doesn't see all the terribly awkward and embarrassing situations I cause because I just don't understand how to read emotions. Also somehow I can articulate my feelings so people think I can't be autistic, but it took so much practice to get to that point.
I was lucky enough to have a pretty big regression at age three, so I actually know about it. That being said, it’s pretty difficult in a neurotypical family setting, particularly with triggers (yelling)
Hey my daughter responded not consistently. She has ASD level 2 and ADHD. She seeks tight hugs, bump into people. She rage a lot, she has difficulties following one simple instruction at a time, she has speech delay, echolalia, spins a lot, line up everything, form patterns...She is 4
My son in the other hand, doesn’t like to be cuddle, they are opposite.
Both of them have difficulties understanding people’s emotions and feelings...
1. Teach them to answer closed questions clearly with Yes or No or I don't know. Ex: 'Do you want to eat this banana?' Or 'Do you like singing?' Or 'Do you care about animals?'
Trust me if you keep doing this, you will learn a lot about how to be a loving thoughtful parent and you will see the world like your children are seeing. Because they tend to say what they mean and mean what they say for they are the children of truth.
2. Teach them to read the Bible because the Truth was prophesied and born and live and die and resurrected and return to heaven there.
3. Pray because God is great at mercy.
4. Love them like Jesus loves the sinners and His disciples.
@@chevychelios4672 uh
The god stuff is kinda ..eh
But the yes no question thing is great
I agree with that
@@tourmelion9221
Matthew 19:13-14
Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them.
But Jesus said, "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. "
O
I was seen as a very "independent" child because I did NOT like being cuddled and wanted to do my own thing. When I was a baby for example, if I was being held I wanted to be held facing out rather than tucked into to my parents' chests. Just diagnosed at age 29 and now my life makes so much sense!
I feel so guilty that I am uncomfortable with and don't want to be hugged by my parents. It's caused me a fair bit of self loathing because I think I must be an awful person to not want to show physical affection to my loved ones
1. Not responding to their name by 12 months. 2. They prefer not to be held or hugged. 3. Not being able to follow instructions. 4.Wont look at where somebody is pointing. 5.May lose skills as they get older. May have a restricted vocabulary. 6. Can’t express needs and wants. 7.Difficulty understanding someone’s feelings.
If you're traumatized as a child you can display these symptoms and not be autistic.
I find I relate to almost all of them: 2, 3 (I've found report cards from elementary school with the majority of comments being I wouldn't follow instructions and would do things on my own), 5 (I just finished a degree in engineering, but I find things to be a lot harder to do now then I used to), 6 and 7. I've never been diagnosed, but the more I learn about autism, I find a lot of my quirks and reactions to things growing up fit. I'm just not sure if it's worth the money to get tested now
@@lonerhappy I think you are right, I'm reading the book Complex PTSD From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. He says many people get diagnosed with other things when it is caused by trauma.
@@9sunstar9 I believe that everyone is on the spectrum, and some are higher in traits than others. Did you have trauma in your life?
@@moraim6204 not that I'm aware of (are you asking regarding emotional trauma or physical?) I have had a few small head injuries, but most of the signs I'm relating to can be traced to before those injuries which is why I dont think they are connected
Number 6 . It really is frustrating and stressful when you can't explain what you want and need. Even thinking about the situation makes me feel close to tears. Amazing video. Love and wishing you well from North Yorkshire England. I didn't get diagnosed till either just before or after my 17th birthday. I'm 19 now. Turned 19 on Wednesday 22nd.
Please talk more about loosing vocabulary. In my case sometimes I just forget very simple words, and I feel angry because of this. When i want to say somethings I just don't know the word like "paper" so I keep using words like "stuff". I mean a lot...
Try making up terms. Instead of laundry I keep calling it the clothing recycling.
I say thingy a lot!
Ask.
Philippians 4:6
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
@@chevychelios4672 What? I thinkyou misunderstand the original point. It's not that OP doesn't know the word, more that the OP (and many autistic girls and women) will be unable to access the word when needed in a conversation.
@@adorabell4253
John 9:1-3
As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth.
And His disciples asked Him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind? "
Jesus answered, "It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.
My first language is Spanish and my mom tells me when in was little I used to speak very fluently and good, but now I make grammatical mistakes and I forget words and the use of some words. I learned English a while ago and Now i notice I’ve been sheltering in English because i feel so much confortable speaking in English than in Spanish and i find myself missing Spanish vocabulary but knowing much more in English.
Hey I can relate to this! I was never fluent in Spanish, as only one of my parents speaks it as a first language, but older family members from the Spanish side tell me that as a little kid I spoke Spanglish, whereas now I can understand it more than most but don’t really speak it much. Although that might just be me afraid to sound like a gringa.
I am bilingual in English and Spanish and I've been lucky to keep grasp of both languages I thought maybe I would lose some when I got older but I haven't which surprises me because I don't speak Spanish anymore because there's no one around who speaks Spanish but me but if I get the chance to speak Spanish with anyone I usually am able to speak as fluent as I used to I'm glad I haven't forgotten any of it at least so far
Me pasa lo mismo.
There are literally videos of my mother trying to get me to respond to my name and I just dont react. My sisters are in the background asking her to ask them something so they can be on camera and I'm just sort of off in my own world! All of these are like spot on, another awesome and informative video!!!
Over and over again "jessica? Wheres your cuo?" Me" *nothing. No reaction. Stares nowhere.*
I was particularly skilled with maths, not anymore. Even the most basics maths are almost impossible for me
I have super dyspraxia now I used to play badminton in high school days
I knew how to swim when I was seven,
And I tried again the next summer and I couldn’t swim anymore....
lol also I used to be able to play the guitar, one year later... forgot all the chords.
And then of course there are lots of words I used to know, but don’t anymore.
But I think that’s just forgetting 😂
I used to draw a lot every day,
then suddenly stopped for 2 years.
When I started to draw again, I
forgot how to do it for some reason.
I had to start from zero. At least
I'm learning it again. I don't
wanna give up.
I used to be pretty good at maths, then a teacher told me to do division and I didn't know how to do division but I didn't want to ask for help. So I tried to figure it out on my own and got in trouble, this kept happening and now I refuse to do any math at all. And no I'm not going to ask for help.
Completely identify with loosing skills that I could do when I was younger, sooo frustrating...
I was diagnosed in February this year, age 29! 😆
John 16:33
I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. "
I was at the age of 48, 4 years ago 🥴
I got mine at 32 and my Mum just got hers a few months ago, in her 60s!
36 for me... crazy it took so long, eh?
How did it feel when you got the diagnosis ?
Me: Not diagnosed until I was in my 30's
-12 months old, My mother screaming my name at the top of her lungs until I cried because she screamed. Not realizing my name was called.
-Cuddling itches. Makes my skin crawl. Deep pressure hugs are okay as long as they are short and sweet. If it lasts too long I feel like I'm being body slammed instead of hugged.
-Write it down and I'll go over it to make sure I do it right. Otherwise, instructions are useless.
-I'm looking at your finger, not what you are pointing at. In order to compensate, I memorized an early scene from Enter the Dragon where Bruce Lee tells his student to look at the moon.
-I used to do needlepoint. Used to enjoy it a lot. Still can, to some extent, but it takes a lot more effort and thought. Not fun anymore.
-I say I need stuff, thing , whats it, that, and a dozen other nonsense words and flying tangents when I have a caffeine headache and need a cup of coffee. I ed up in screaming, crying fits often when I need something more substantial.
-I have a bad habit of apologizing because I'm not sure if the person is mad, sad or whatever. Their mood is almost never what I think it is.
I can totally relate to needing written instructions, over apologizing, and becoming a totally different person when I'm hungry or exhausted.
I feel like high-fiving is sort of similar to pointing? Because whenever someone tries to high-five me, I get overwhelmed and confused, like I won't look at their hand at first so I won't know what they're trying to do, but then I'll be starting at their hand until we touch hands and it's generally a frustrating experience rather than a rewarding one.
@@ddayehunter me too you get blamed for being rude and treating people like rubbish and it’s no I’m just exasperated and need some personal space
Yessss
You're too good for this world that's all I got from this. 💕
Thank you for this video. Right on time where I feel that im being misunderstood by people who"s profession is meant to help me dealing with my ASD. I was very frustrated the last days. They often believe that I can do more than i show, they overestimate me..(also being accused of pushing people away). So, this video is really very supportive to guard my boundaries, especially the connecting to other people part. Thank you
Our daughter is 8 and diagnosed at 6 but has most of these traits.
Is she good?
It wasn’t until my daughter was diagnosed I realize I was autistic as well 💜🌈 I was misdiagnosed with Tourette’s at age 6 and everything in between so by the time I was an adult I was a mess. My precious gift, my baby is how I realized who I truly am 🥰
Thank you for the diversity of the spectrum that you share on your channel!
I got my diagnosis 3 years ago at 27 years old . And just because I mention in my therapy I had sometimes a feeling of fear in all my body with certain things or sounds , or objects or even people voice . Then the tests started and here I am finally understanding my entire life :)
I can see some of these things on the list being confused with signs of past trauma.
preferring not to be held or cuddled
difficulty explaining what they want or need
difficulty understanding how other people are feeling
That's why there are far more things they ask you about during assessment, and they ask whether you've always experienced something or if it became an issue later in life. Most people will also have had an least one form of treatment for trauma, either medication or talk therapy (even briefly) and the majority of people see improvement with that. It can be tricky to see the difference if you only look at these tiny pieces out of context, but that's why the assessments are so extensive and why self diagnosis is not a good thing.
People on the autism spectrum are very easily traumatized anyways.This is just an assumption, but the reason autistic people may show these signs is because they've been traumatized some point in their life. Likely from something that most people wouldn't usually see is traumatizing. Definitely does sound like something that could just be a trauma response though.
The loss of skills and the “rejection” of following commands is sooooo true. Those two are heavy in my life and so, so frustrating. Making a communication of need vs want and asking for help is so difficult!! I even went thru training as a kid to help with “social interaction and public speaking”. I haven’t been officially diagnosed, but it was heavily suspected as me being “OCD, Learning Disabled while being genius IQ and avoidance of authority”. As an adult I was diagnosed with OCD and ADHD with autistic traits, and later PTSD. Thanks for all your videos, it makes it easier to share why I don’t “fit” and it’s ok. :)
Wondering if some of that "lost speech" is selective mutism. I never regressed but oh how it frustrated my poor mother that I hated to be touched. And I could never understand why my brother would cry when we got dropped off at childcare or the babysitter's. It was so alien to little Aspie me to reject routine. Good info overall.
I can relate to several of these traits. I just figured it out over the past year why I've always felt out of place in most social settings, and a slew of other traits and tendencies that seem weird to others, "Because Autism."
"Not looking when someone is pointing" -- what happens in my mind is that I do look, but there are too many things to "Look at That" one thing they're pointing to. Lately, I've been telling my husband, "There are a lot of "that" over there. Please describe which "that" I should look at."
Recent example: He asked something like, "When did we get that pillow" or "where did that pillow come from," when there were five different pillows on the couch. So I asked "Which one? What color is it?" -- I've been using that question a lot, "what color is it," to help someone give me a better clue to identify which "that one" they're talking about.
"Cannot follow directions" -- I struggle to remember a whole sequence of directions. To help embed the sequence, such as driving directions, "go this far to that landmark and turn that way to ...," I've been turning my gaze downward to an invisible drawing board in my mind and setting my face to an "intently listening and processing" expression (telegraph to the other person that i am paying close attention without looking directly at them) while also using my hands to gesture the directions to myself, to better visualize and feel each part, "Go Through (one, two, three) Traffic Lights and Turn Left or Right." All too often, I get the words for Left and Right mixed up, which I've learned is also an Autism Thing, so gesturing with the correct hand toward the correct side helps me to better connect the word to which way I'm supposed to go.
I'd like to share more experiences wherein I've related to some of these descriptions, but, just like with following a series of directions, I have forgotten by now what I wanted to share and where I wanted to go with it.
Holy shit. #5. I've wondered for a long while why some skills that were once everyday skills just...faded away. And it's really hard to relearn them.
Just found your channel through this video and immediately subscribe after! My daughter who is almost 3 and was just diagnosed with ASD2, sensory processing disorder, OCD, and Dyspraxia. The facts you shared are all so true and we’re obvious with our daughter by the time she was two. She spoke about 20 words then within a month they were all gone besides one, apple, word which she constantly repeats. She likes pressure squeezes from me but not others and laughs at people or characters that are crying. She has never responded to her name and cannot follow even one simple instruction. Although all children on the spectrum are totally unique, this video could not be more true for us! Thanks for sharing!
Everyone thinks I don't like hugs, even my own family! But I do, I just have to expect it coming is all.
I have almost all symptoms and it seems like the more I ignore them, the more I have trouble expressing what I need and losing touch with it. You really reminded me of what I need to focus on and that I’m not alone 😊
I'm telling parents do not be ashamed it is something that happens. I was discovered later in life that was my problems growing when my 1st daughter was diagnosed & my mother realized this was my issues.An found out that it was recommended that I be tested but my father refused so please there is no shame get your child tested when recommended. Blessings
Key:
Idk = only my parents, family, and/or friends would know the answer
Yes and no = depending on scenario or what is being referred to
Yes = I am like this
No = I am not like this
1.) Idk
2.) People will say yes, but I like hugs and cuddles as long as I'm expecting them or warned, so I think both yes and no
3.) Yes
4.) No
5.) It depends on what it is. Talents, hobbies, and interests? I would never lose my skills, so no. However, there are some basic life skills that I know I've gotten worse at. My verbal communication and word knowledge has actually increased, rather than decreased. So, yes and no depending.
6.) Yes
7.) No
We are all made of stardust.
Snuggletummy David Bowie.
We are children of God.
- John the Apostle -
Chevy Chelios no
@@Tsukiwookie
Matthew 11:4-6
And Jesus answered them, "Go and tell John what you hear and see:
the blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them.
And blessed is the one who is not offended by Me. "
UNDERRATED FILM. I love Star Dust
Thank you for making videos for girls! It’s so frustrating because I think there could be just as many girls with autism but because we’re raised in a much stricter manner than boys and know how to mask symptoms from a very young age (which is just detrimental for mental health)
I believe i fall on the spectrum but i am having a hard time getting drs to listen to me
Do you live in the U.S? I'm having the same issue.
That’s what I’m really worried about too. No surprise it’s particularly in the US :/
Yes i am in the us. All of my drs over years say its anxiety, panic disorder, ptsd, ocd and blah blah blah.
A joke of a mhn thinking she can tell if you have something by how u walk into a room
If it's possible, meet and ask other people on the spectrum in person their opinion on you. We often recognize each other. Plus. socializing difficulty people on the spectrum have is not necessarily having anxiety(emotional difficulty) about it. Rather, many of us don't feel anxiety but have technical difficulties-like causing misunderstandings with actions, words that can be inappropriate to neurotypicals. Again, this doesn't necessarily have to do with emotional cause but neurological. Therefore consider if you have other common neurological traits like eidetic memory(I memorize a movie by watching it one time), sensory overload(ex:can't listen to one person's talking in the noisy environment while people who are with don't feel the same), strength in detail, etc.
Wow, this actually made me notice how much I've already learned to deal with most of these issues 🤔
I feel like I can best understand other's feelings when they're also neurodivergent
Yea I think this to! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
This is so accurate. I find communication so difficult and poeple dont think I have autisum because I so called act normally. Which just makes it more difficult than it already is.
Really appreciate you doing this video. As a woman with autism, it's hard having it because it feels like a lot of the signs don't fit. This really helped. I related to a lot of the signs, in particular the one about not liking to be hugged. I've never liked it. I'm only really ok with a close family member hugging me but it's still more for them than me. There's an instance from my childhood that sticks out. I'd fallen while running outside & cut my knee pretty bad. I didn't want to be hugged or comforted like a neurotypical kid. I just wanted to be left alone. It always really confused my mom. But she trys to be understanding. It was because of her advocating for me that I got diagnosed. Going to share this with her & my therapist.
I’m just now coming across your videos. These remind me so much of my daughter. Every single one, There were so many signs when she was younger but she was 13 finally getting diagnosed. The losing of skills irritated one of her teachers so badly.
Errrrrmagoodness, trying to express my needs and emotions. SO freaking hard. And then people try to help by trying to provide words for me... which ends up just confusing and overwhelming me because it wasn't the words I needed and now those words are clogging things up and the right words are even harder to find and aaaaahhhhhhhhh. :-\
This comment is very well written and clearly demonstrates your emotion and what you’re going through. Wasn’t freaking hard, was it? It just takes us a loooooot more effort.
@@LMNNT Not sure where you're going there - it's relatively easy to say that there's a ton of stuff that I can't figure out how to express and often ends in me snapping and making everyone else upset. :-\ Your comment was also very well written and demonstrates your own emotion in being frustrated at how difficult it is. Being able to articulate that expressing yourself is frustrating/difficult doesn't mean that because you can articulate that, it's easy to actually express the right emotion. Yes, it was not "freaking hard" to type that emotions are hard. Just like it wasn't hard for you to type the same thing.
PS I have written at least 500 words every single day since 2007 - being articulate through the written word is something I have put quite a lot of time and effort into on a daily basis for close to fourteen years. I'm grateful I've been at it long enough that I can be considered articulate in written comments! :-)
Instructions are something that I've always struggled with. I remember crying as a kid because my mum was trying to teach me the 10 times table and I just couldn't get it. over time I learned that I can only teach myself. I also dont particularly like hugs or being affectionate, especially with babies and toddlers. everyone around me is hugging them and making weird noises and I just wave and it feels weird to pick them up and be affectionate.
I’m the same with both the things you listed. My family are super affectionate and always want hugs from me but I just hate it and don’t even know how to do it ?
I just recently got diagnosed at 21, but watching this video really made me reflect on how I was when I was younger and I struggled with most of these, and there’s some that I struggle with today. It’s kind of frustrating to see how apparent it was that I was struggling.. my mom even tried to get me diagnosed when I was younger but apparently the testing on girls wasn’t good when I was a kid and she suggested I get tested again and I’m glad that I did. I hope though that I can help more people understand so that no more girls like me get missed.
I am 33 and an authistic girl. Yes my world seem different from the real world. Its very difficult to follow someone, or instructions ... Im gonna follow your channel. Thank you for your video.
I love hugs! I love to party and go to concerts mostly because of the bodies surrounding me and touching my body. That, together with the overstimulation by the lights and sound, is what makes it awesome.
The more I listen to this video, I ask myself if this is directed towards classical autism. I have Aspergers, and I don't match with this at all haha
my mother told me i started talking at 3 months old, and by the time i was 6 months old, I was speaking in full sentences . I didn't use contractions. then i stopped talking all together . Until I was three years old, and then I started writing, my first word I sounded out was ....out.......my mom was awed.
The part about losing some of the ability to speak is really interesting and a bit scary.
I've noticed lately that I have more and more difficulty finding my words in English (my second language). My speech is slow and quite monotonous (I think) because I often have to pause to think of the next words. I keep apologising half jokingly that 'I can't speak English anymore'.
Although I don't have this problem while writing, and it could be attributed to me speaking my native language with my boyfriend most of the time. I hope it's just a phase!
I've been calling it an internal stutter for a long time because I didn't have a better name for it, but I'll get stuck mid-sentence as my brain literally can't find the word I need. It's a really sore spot for me because language is a special interest for me and generally something I'm good at.
(Unsure if I have ASD, but curious bc a lot fits w/EDS and related issues) I do not like being touched for the most part. It was especially awful as a kid because I just didn't know how to articulate why I was saying no. A lot of the time I was even forced or guilt-tripped into hugs and it didn't matter who it was whether I liked them or not. I still don't like hugs unless it's my partner. The forced hugging just made me hate them more.
Not being able to follow instructions!! I have to have someone coach me through it. It actually send me into panic attacks due to the previous experiences I'd had.
Difficulty explaining what I need or want is also a big one for me. Especially if emotion is involved. I'm best at explaining via text or notes than speaking one on one when I am emotionally constipated in the brain and struggling to verbalize.
I do tend to be really emotionally intelligent and pick up on things quickly, I just struggle to articulate things accurately because I feel so deeply for them. It's hard to figure out what I need to do to fix it(help them) and it comes off as super callous sometimes. Especially not being a hugger.
Great vid as always. Really learned a lot and it is greatly appreciated.
I’m not the spectrum but I’ve had so much difficulty expressing what I need, want, and especially how I feel. Especially as a child the only thing I could do was cry because I just didn’t know how to communicate very well. Also understanding how other people feel. My mom always says “try to put yourself in (insert person here)’s shoes” and I’m like uhhhhh I can’t do that? Like I have no clue how other people feel in situations.
Elaina Smith sounds like alexithymia (also known as emotional blindness)! It’s often comorbid with autism (which is why people on the spectrum are known as having difficulty with recognizing and/or expressing emotions) but you can have it on its own. Here’s an online test for it:
www.alexithymia.us/alexithymia-questionnaire-online-test
I have alexithymia and something that helps a lot is writing about my emotions. It’s so much easier than talking about it. And as far as understanding others emotions, studying psychology and human behavior has made a difference for me. Hope that helps!
Marilla Z I got a 146/185. Pretty high apparently.
Elaina Smith- woah that’s about as high as I got on that quiz!
Elaina Smith- might be something to look into
Marilla Z yeah I think I’ll talk to my mom about it. Thanks for the help!
Yes, I relate to so many of these signs. Before I was diagnosed Level 1 autistic only last year at age 46, I had been diagnosed with other conditions that didn't fully add up (OCD, GAD). I had suspected being autistic for 10 yrs before being formally diagnosed. I also remember losing specific skills as a child. I learned how to ride a bike when I was 6, but then forgot how, & had to re-learn it when I was 8. I remember being eloquent in certain settings, but then would have bouts of mutism in others.
I am E's mom, she self diagnosed in her 20's. I feel mother guilt, how did I not know this. She seems to be angry, I did take her to councilors but no one helped. She went to group and told me she was glad I pushed her because the other young adults with early diagnosis were less able to function. She drives her car and has a job.
There is a book by Donna Williams called, “Nobody Nowhere”. You might find it informative if you have not already seen it.
I’ve read Nobody Nowhere .Donna Williams is a miracle .with her sensory problems and losing meanings of words I don’t know how she did it
Thank you so much for doing videos like this! It's so helpful to understand myself a little bit more. I've been called so many things by my family for not liking hugs or being touched and it's something that really didn't become super noticeable until my teenage years, and I still just don't like being touched or hugged unless I really trust someone, and it's still hard for me to do because I just feel disgusted at the idea of being hugged. And it's so nice to know that it's something that isn't something that only I experience. I really resonated with a lot of these signs and I can't thank you enough for doing videos like this for people like me who are unsure and struggling with themselves.
Yes! The pointing thing! It drove my mum crazy. I didn't like to cuddle or be held either. I still have trouble following instructions. It's like white noise. I need to see a demonstration.
I think its cool how as a man you are doing signs in girls. So thank you.
Sometimes I wish I could be like those cuddly cute girls. I want to hug my mom and brother so bad but the feeling of it it’s so weird like I have to stop hugging because I can’t. Sometimes I can but little times
I suffered this skill loss and Id love to see you talk more about it.
I really enjoyed this and I think this helps a bit to see more if I do have Autisum I'm FTM trans so even if I didn't want the female signs of Autisum I'll still have them. I've had quite the journey with mental things. (I don't like the word illness because I don't think I'm ill) I've been to like 5 different doctors and therapists all trying to find out if I have autism and the resonings behind my "anger issues." Idk. Ive thought about done some reacher and I think I could have 7 mental things (a long with gender dysphoria ). I'd rather not say them but they are there. It's been weird and watching ur vids have helped a lot with reassurance and info. 😁 my name is Kai btw
Thanks for making these videos they help much appreciated
I find it almost impossible most times to even be ABLE to identify my needs or wants or how I feel or what I think. Anybody else ? I really hope so.
It happens to me when I get very emotional or upset. I start to not breathe when I'm trying to talk. I become apathetic, maybe get the shakes. It gets worse when someone believes I'm doing it for attention. Can't move, can't breathe, and just wanting to hide so it can stop. I don't know about anyone else, but I find typing and switching words with the same meaning can help me. Not a guarantee. We are wired the way we are wired.
Do you want the divine love?
These are things I've always dealt with and I had no idea they were connected to autism. Thanks for making this video!
I had a communication issue yesterday. The chemist was, I guess, explaining why i couldnt have the meds i had a script for. But she sounded like Blah, blah, waffle, waffle and i just couldnt compehend anything. I asked could i please have the quick version of what she was saying. But she didnt change what she was saying at all. I was getting more and more frustrated. But i knew i needed to stay polite. I hope i did manage that. But it is so damn frustrating when I need to pick up meds and i cant. A couple of weeks ago another chemist was telling me each day they would be ready. Then it took 3 trips before i did get them.
mom of a beautifully autistic child here. love these vids, Dan, thanks for another great one!
Shared to my fb. Your videos are so helpful.
HERO 💚
Not following instructions, that is so hard….along with forgetting stuff that I was good at, but I can re-remember it, ex: a particular painting or drawing technique, to remember I need to focus and mess around until I get it back…tho this is something I always thought this was due to the beatings, never had a clue it could be anything else. Takes a bit of stress off. :)
There’s a thing about not learning/remembering that’s similar to what happened to me from all the beatings (head), it’s similar to what you mentioned here. As it was explained to me by a specialist, I’m paraphrasing and simplifying: when info comes into the eyes, it goes to a place where it’s transferred into the brain to be stored. Often in head injuries that eye connection is lost, or disconnected to varying degrees, and the incoming info goes to the wrong place. Like an electrical connection and the wires aren’t connecting up too well any more. I like to picture it as leggo’s being randomly dumped into piles instead of neatly and orderly stacked by color. The info is still there, but I can’t find it when I need it, not even after rummaging thru the massive leggo pile….then, that rascal waits to pop up a week later when I don’t need it.
Expressing emotions had always been difficult, and I’d dance around it so much that people would become really annoyed w/me, until my therapist helped me to stop and think first what the emotion was and find the word that matched it. Then I used that technique for regular communication, it was really slow (agonizingly slow actually) in the beginning because I had to picture what I wanted to say first then find the words (sometimes forgetting my train of thought along the way and have to bail), but as time went on it became easier.
Also, I am empathetic and strongly experience other people’s feelings.
I’m 56 years old. My dad had many symptoms of Aspergers (confirmed by a befriended psychologist). I grew up emotionally neglected, my mum suffering from recurrent depression. Although I chose a profession where I touch and interact with people a lot (HUGE learning curve that has taught me so much about social interaction), I learned only 5 years ago that I really have difficulty letting myself being touched. I used to hide this drinking alcohol on occasions). I have 2 children (a boy and a girl) which both show symptoms as well. But the symptoms with emotional neglect in childhood seem to overlap. It being a learned way a behaving. How can one tell the difference? I remember the pediatrician waving off my huge difficulties with my sons childhood meltdowns, we really went through difficult times! I have found a very good and clear information brochure on Aspergers and made it accessible to them in case they were interested. They are 16 and 19 years old. I think it is very helpful to “know thyself”, to face life’s challenges. I feel there is not a lot more I can do at this stage without trying to label them against their will (which is out of the question). I do appreciate the content of your channel a lot. Thank you!🙏🏻
made my almost cry cause you nailed it and this is things I cant explain to people about how I am and hoping this helps me be able to explain more on how I function
As a mom with a 23 year old daughter with Autism....interesting. Definitely have seen all the signs.
I love hugs and cuddles. I only cuddle my mom and I only like when I give hugs. I hate when people are behind me it makes me shiver like nai,nails, on a chalk board. My grandma gave me a hug and I hated it. It made me tingle and feel awkward and she said "hug me back" so I reluctantly hugged her back, then she plays with my hair and it feels like weird I just hate it. Tomorrow I'm gonna ask my mom to take me to a doctor
Thanks for this video. I am finding this video very interesting.
Oh hell yes - i HATE being touched!!! Even as a child...i actually cannot understand why no one noticed earlier...when i'm reflecting my childhood there were sooooo many signs already. One teacher even wanted to talk to my parents about me holding my ears shut when the class was noisy...but they said that's just me...so that was that. Super grateful about all the Information nowadays...that alone already helps me so much! ❤ i am still not officially diagnosed, but it explains ALL of my problems in life so far,..so even without official diagnosis this was extemely eye opening and helpful...it's difficult for me to make phone calls and open up (as silly as it sounds, but that really is an obstacle..doctors appointments in general are a problem for me) ...especially knowing it won't be easy as a girl..as always..and i'm very tired of it now being 38...but as soon as the Covid Situation is a little bit better i wanna go for it and try getting diagnosed...i also notice it would be great to actually be able to get a little help with a few things...hope you all are doing well during the Covid Situation
when I was young I didn't like to be held - even when I was being breast fed I hated it - I still don't really like being hugged but for me there is a distinction because I like to snuggle up to people. So I do like physical contact but it is kind of like a only on my terms kind of deal
I have ASD level 1 (formerly Aspergers syndrome) I love hugs from people I’m comfortable with but I’m standoffish with strangers and don’t like hugs from them.
I'd look into it but I've heard from girls on the spectrum can be very outgoing and good with eye contact but gives too much eye contact etc because they are over compensating.
agree. i also get pissed when ppl dont look me in the eye. Im overly trained i social vies and when i dont receive them i dont know how to respond. and look at other ppl lol to see how to respond. I learned this when i fidnt understand jokes in elementary school
lol.
I do that! I was taught how to do eye-contact but it's never natural so I constantly need to remember to do it which leads to just staring alternately at the left and then the right eye.
Me lol
@@adorabell4253 I didnt realize going back and forth between eyes can mean uncomfortable with eye contact skwksksnaks I do that all the time then
@@shisama9637 Not necesarily uncomfortable, but just not knowing when to stop. So I overthink "am I staring at one eye too much? Do I switch? Do I look away? Can they tell that I'm actually just staring at their eye ball and not looking them in the eye? ...and now I've missed what they just said."
Dan, how brilliant this video explains our “issues” to help others to understand us.
I never ever like hugs from others unless I know them very well or I’m just comfortable with them in general. I usually like to initiate hugs to feel safer, and it’s the same way with people standing close to me my whole body just says it’s dangerous to be close to people in a way. It makes me panic
I work with a little girl with autism and all these listed are things we work on together!
Hi Dan
I wanted to make a request. You may already know of Megan Rhiannon she lives in your part of the world. She just wrote a new book, Existing Autistic. I would like it if you could talk with her about her new book which focuses on adults on the spectrum and do a video. I was very impressed with what she has to say. Thank you.
I got diagnosed with autism at age 30. Not liked to be held or cuddled-this is true!
I really can relate to most of the signs, even though I'm yet to be tested for Autism at age 26 1/2
1. Not responding to name by 12 months of age.
2. Prefer not to be held/cuddled/hugged
3. Not being able to follow instructions.
4. Won't look at something else when someone is pointing at it.
5. Might lose certain skills as they get older.
6. Difficulty in expressing what they want or need
7. Difficulty in understanding how others are feeling.
Are these for minors, or do they apply to adults as well?
I'm touch starved, I am always kind of anxious unless someone I trust is holding me
Ah yes this is a sensory issue for sure. Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
As a person with, OCD, Autism, and Misophonia, this is relatable..
I have number 1 but also have absence seizures so it's hard for them to tell if I had a seizure or am in my head. I have 2 and im still not cuddly. I have 3 but also have adhd. I have 4 and sometimes still don't look when ppl are pointing. I have 5 but seizures make me lose the skills. I have 6 and it's annoying 🤦 and ppl make it worse. I have 7 and it's also annoying. Dang I have all of them 🤣🤣
Dan your so right with these traits my daughter is almost 13 diagnosed at 4 and she has 6 out of the 7 traits
My parents don't remember much of my childhood, they were always at work and I was left with a nanny. I also don't remember much before my 7th birthday.... So trying to figure out my childhood traits has been almost imposible :'(
Oh my god at least three are spot on! Team no hugs here. And for the language difficulty I am learning ASL because I am very interested in Deaf culture. However signing is great for me to comunícate sometimes! (Well... with my friends who sign 😅)
As an Autistic guy this makes me happy lol xD And also i do believe thats the reason why Females are "less likely" to get it, its not that its less likely its that its much harder to spot lol
1) not responding to name - I have had this lifelong habit of meeting people and letting them decide what they want to call me. I have an old school name with a lot of nicknames, and it never really seemed to fit me, so I never cared what version of it people called me.
2) Don't like to be hugged by certain people and yes, it has to be firm hug. Same with handshakes; I get creeped out by a weak handshake from a man.
3) Ikea instructions are perfect for me because they're visual. I have a very hard time following written instructions for assembling things.
4) not sure about this one.
5) I've noticed recently that I've had trouble finding my words in certain situations.
6) I've always been terrible at communicating wants and needs with my family and especially in relationships. It also happens at work; I get frustrated at not being seen/heard, but I usually let things boil up and then have an outburst in frustration.
7) I relate to animals more than people. I've always had very few friends and usually choose people with really dominant/extroverted personalities because it's less work for me.