What Positive Intent Looks Like In Real Moments of Conflict

Listen in as Conscious Discipline Certified Instructor Latoria Marcellus shares about the Skill of Positive Intent and how, although the language can feel awkward at first, ultimately, it can transform the way we approach conflict situations with children. 
When we attribute positive intent to a child's behavior, we are able to stay calm and help calm children. We send children the message that their inner core and their essence are good enough. We also send the message that their choices are not helpful. With this frame as the backdrop, most children are willing and motivated to learn a new skill, comply with adult commands or choose a more appropriate behavioral response. 
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[@nicholelucier4866]

Love this! However, my Diane would have said "no, I'm not sharing." This is where I get lost.

[@thedoctordonnaable]

For me, when that happens I let Diane know it's okay if she's not ready to share. Then tell the other child she said no. If they are upset, help them work through that disappointment (Either with I love you ritual, helping them breathe) then once they are calm, give them some options. "She said you can't have it now, let's see if we can get it later. While we wait do you want to read a book or play in the blocks."

[@faithkalmoe9486]

I wish this real moment demonstration also included 1) refusal to try it out now and 2) child #2 denying the request for a snack.
In my experience , the snatching often happens when asking fails. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@ConsciousDisciplineVideos]

Fair points! It's hard to show every scenario but here are some tips if it's helpful. 1) if the child is not willing to try it out now they could take some time to calm and go to a place we call the Safe Place (often with an adult to help them go from an upset state to a calm one). Once the child is calm, the two can "roll back time" and try practicing it again a different way. 2) For the second scenario, it would be a conversation with the child who is denying the snack, "You seem frustrated, you were hoping you wouldn't have to share your snack?" The child could then say yes or no, and you could problem solve that one more- maybe there need to be 2 snacks, maybe they need to be taught how to split it equally, etc. Or maybe they are upset about something prior. Hope that gives you some ideas!