Living With A Stranger: My Husband's Brain Injury
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- čas přidán 23. 07. 2019
- Find out more at brainlaw.com/livingwithastranger Traumatic brain injury is a life changing event. But it’s not just the individual who experiences the brain injury. Spouses and people close to brain injury survivors can also find themselves suddenly having to take on new roles as caretakers, while at the same time adapting to their loved ones' new character and needs. And those changes in character can be so extreme that for some wives and husbands it can actually feel like their spouses are different people. That they are suddenly living with strangers.
We created this video to attempt to explain the emotional rollercoaster that the spouse of a brain injury survivor experiences after a husband or wife’s injury, and the challenges couples can face in adapting to their new lives together.
The video was created by New York brain injury lawyers De Caro & Kaplen, LLP (brainlaw.com), who have been advocating on behalf of individuals suffering from a brain injury for over 30 years.
Find out more at brainlaw.com/livingwithastranger
Help and support:
Brain Injury Association of America www.biausa.org/
Headway (UK): www.headway.org.uk/
Credits:
Music: Together by EdRecords
Brain Injury Association Of America Logo © The Brain Injury Association Of America
Images created using www.pixton.com/
I miss my husband every moment of everyday. Sometimes the grief is like an annoying ache in the background of every waking moment. Other times, its the overwhelming and desperate feeling of dying of thirst while drowning. Its been 8 years since my husbands TBI. And everytime I look into his eyes, I love the man standing in front of me while longing for the man I lost.
You just described everything that I feel. You are spot on. We are not alone.
@@lanihill3583 We are not 🩷
I don't know where I would be without my wife. She has stuck by my side through the entire time, 4 years now. Its very difficult being a burden on her but thankfully I can be somewhat independent so she can have a life of her own as well.
I wish my husband's TBI recovery would have followed this storybook path. I could not continue to subject my daughter or myself to his violent outburst. No amount of therapy or love and support could prevent him from snapping and possibly killing one of us.
I am sorry for your loss (because that's what it really is), but it sounds like you did the right thing.
I had a motorcycle and I had a couple accidents. I started having physical limitations. I couldn't talk to my wife because I was embarrassed. And I found myself pushing her away staying at home staying away from people secluding myself sleeping all the time. All I could do was push her away. People started asking what was wrong with me because I'm different. I'm not the same person anymore. My wife told me what the neighbors had said and I guess there must be something wrong. So I went to the doctor and got checked out and I have a TBI. 20 + years with my wife I love her I'm in love with her but it doesn't come out in me. It doesn't show. She has been there with me through thick and thin. And I pushed her away. I am currently waiting for approval to see a doctor. I don't want to be this. I want my family to be happy. This video was a rock that hit me dead Square on my forehead. I can relate to this video so much. I Cry
You better now?
I understand how you feel, as I feel the same way. I’ve had two brain injuries from two separate car accidents where someone was using their cellphone while driving.
It's caused by stressor after TBI..
I had a TBI too, everything seems alright till u get stress..
It's all I know...
Personalities can change for TBI Survivors, making the whole Journey Longer. We didn't Ask for this & we don't know how to Accept our "new" selves. Often, we are unaware of, or don't realize what we blurt out or say. TBI, ABI, those who have had Strokes, Tumors, Aneurysms, etc. , may ALWAYS need extra time to Process things, Laugh or Cry inappropriately, and a host of other things that we can't CONTROL.
My mother is going through a similar situation with me. I feel horrible for what I'm putting on her,and I know what I'm doing! I hate the way I act on certain things after the fact and it's so hard. I pray for anyone going through this and hope we all find peace with our situation. It's the hardest thing I'm ever going to have to do. Who am I at 30?? Idk that's the hardest part
Praying that you find peace.
This is my life to almost a T :( In Jesus there is hope and I cling to that hope!!
We hope that this video assists in explaining the difficulties to outsiders who just don't have a clue
💯 right discription of the life of a TBI s wife s hardships.
After many years we found a psychiatrist who prescribed Quetiapine for my husband’s severe anger outbursts. What a difference it has made! A neurologist or internist could also prescribe it.
Thank you ❤
Stay strong stay safe sending love from headway Nottingham UK takes time it's hard for us very we are still us just angry confused but same person stay patient with us wishing you all luck keep going giving up isn't a option x
Thank you for your encouragement. You are a person with a brain injury, not a brain injured person.
@@michaelkaplen9227 hi what's difference lol
@@debblackmore7460 Life and healing is about you, not your injury. Others need to see you first and then your injury. You are entitled to be treated with respect.
@@michaelkaplen9227 thankyou stay strong stay safe takecare wish the family filmed me then I remember alot now takes time I guess I know I have came along way can talk walk no nappies lol can read write been long recovery but massive discovery of things I tell myself if dont remember not worth remembering staying positive anyone going through this dont give up keep going x
I love your story and I’m Brandon Drew guy have a dream I’ll get married a spouse will help me as well. I would help her hope and prayer.🙏🏻 encephalitis brain 18 years ago now I am recover doing well life have my license back and my job and my apartment and a dog owner. Please keep my prayers up for other people like us. God bless you bless you.😊
I just found out my first TBI was when I was about 4 or 5 and fell out of a very tall apple tree. I've had emotional problems since. I just hit my head hard on the counter because I am known to be clumsy and that was 8 days ago. Tylonal... ibuprofen... nothing takes the headache away and as soon as I hit my head, I went into aggression and my head is still about to explode as I type this but it is on the edge of tolerable right now, I am so thankful for that. Anyways, my husband is bringing me to ER tomorrow after work for my head and elevated out of control behavior, the profuse sweating fits, and heart races with palpitations.... lol...I hope they don't put me in a mental lockdown place. They never helped, now I know why.
Thank you
Hope this provides some assistance to you in explaining this invisible injury to outsiders wishing you and your family the best
Wow.
My wife left me because I am like this and I hate it. I was like your husband and now I just am so insecure
Bro she not worthy of u
sorry my ex-wife :'(
He 🙎♂️ Is,
My Fiance, 👫
My TBI Stranger, 👤
My Children's Loving Father, 👨👧👦
My Distant TBI Coparent,👤
My Best Friend, 🫂
My TBI Verbal Abuser, 🗣🦸♀️
My Life then,. 👨👩👧👦❤
OUR Life Now., 👨👩👧👦❤
My husband have TBI and he have a steel plate in the right side of his Brian when they is lighting he feel it and I am asking for help what can he do when it happens
unfortunately not every story works out in the end. anosognosia ist really the worst, because it keeps my husband stuck in exactly the state described in the first part of this story
As if I could of written it myself.
We hope that you can use this to explain this invisible injury to strangers and family
Most of these situations seem to end up in divorce & after hearing so many cases & what the spouse & children end up going through I think it is sadly often the right option.
Very sad. And scary how one's entire personality can change in an instant. I hope she gets out & protects her child if he continues to behave violently. Regardless of the cause, that's never okay.
That is exactly the type of response someone who, truly doesn't understand (who doesn't get it!), would say. Do you think that the man in this animation chose to acquire the brain injury?! Do you think he's happy knowing that he cannot control his emotions. Do you not think he means well, even when everything its grey. A very poor comment Ms Noone
@@michaelleonard9189 My son has an ABI. and you're right the comment really does reinforce how people just don't understand
My boy didn't want this.
The invisible rain cloud video I watch again and again to reinforce how my son is living through a nightmare
MsNooneinpar well done, your comment is exactly WHY you need to watch and learn from this. Any of us who have been 'lucky to survive' sometimes wish we hadn't.
He can't help it im a woman and I have outbursts and the whole thing if we could control it we would i was a nurse who fell at work because a stupid maintenance guy was trying to get my attention but I ignored him and he kept mopping the area I was with no wet floor signs down so later a woman who didn't eat breakfast i found her lunch at the nurses station so I was on the way to feed her because I wanted her to eat lunch but the floor was wet and no signs down so I fell and my life was never the same and needless to say that woman never got her lunch. So please be quiet about things you don't understand.
Hopefully nobody leaves you when your sick.
To my dear Richard, I love you inspite of your TBI, care about and for you with your TBI.
I shall not leave or forsake you because of your TBI. I shall walk this road, good or bad with you and your TBI. I love you Richard ,
I have your 6 !!!!
Your wife Ann Marie
I stay away from relationships with women because I feel no woman could deal e
With my TBI "quirks"-( repeating myself,word finding issues,poor short term memory,temper issues etc..)...
Bro ull find a girl great enuf to b able to handle ur new powers.
Sounds like this woman is selfish and not very empathetic.
I have to disagree with this comment. It's so confusing and there is no roadmap for this situation. It's initially very difficult to pick out and then to actually get the help you need to navigate your way through it. Once the help started to take form, they made progress. I would say this guy was very lucky his wife hung in there and did what she could to help. I saw this from the other side of the fence as a TBI survivor and count myself as one of the luckiest people alive because my wife did not give up on me. This lady is heroic and deserves our understanding and praise.
I hear y but also she stayed with him and worked shit out so it sounds like everyone is better off