how to be more confident during sex

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  • čas přidán 3. 06. 2024
  • a deep discussion into my fears and insecurities surrounding sex. i hope this felt like an intimate chat and not like you're watching someone with attention issues talk for 20 minutes straight :')
    ✩ s o c i a l s ✩
    instagram ➭ @lovejessicablair lovejessica...
    tiktok ➭ @luvjessicablair www.tiktok.com/@luvjessicabla...
    twitter ➭ @luvjessicablair / luvjessicablair
    business inquiries ➭ jessicablair@dulcedo.com
    time stamps!
    00:00 -- intro
    00:17 -- my teenage fears about sex
    03:07 -- dating experiences
    04:39 -- body insecurities & sex
    07:33 -- learning to coexist with your body
    09:01 -- fears about different positions
    09:59 -- a self-love exercise
    10:53 -- unlearning your fatphobia
    12:15 -- turning the lights off during sex
    13:56 -- trusting your partners more
    16:20 -- finding validation within yourself
    18:50 -- lack of knowledge about sex
    19:56 -- porn isn't real life
    21:16 -- fat people & sex
    22:08 -- outro
    ✩ m u s i c ✩
    "biscuit" by lukrembo: • (no copyright music) l...
    "onion" by lukrembo: • (no copyright music) l...
    "rose" by lukrembo: • lukrembo - rose (royal...
    hope ur all having a lovely day! ❣
  • Jak na to + styl

Komentáře • 55

  • @racheljones5757
    @racheljones5757 Před 2 lety +85

    the first few times i had sex, it felt like a practical joke. like at any moment someone with a camera was going to pop out and laugh at me for thinking someone could be attracted to me, or that even my partner would think I'm ridiculous for getting into it. it took a while to unpack those feelings and to feel like I belonged in any sexual situation.

    • @Miltiadis_Rokos
      @Miltiadis_Rokos Před 4 měsíci

      Can I ask what you did to get over it? This is exactly what I feel like when I have sex.

  • @thethang6364
    @thethang6364 Před 2 lety +64

    I lov ur content sm, seeing someone whos not skinny talk about fatphobia helps so muchhh like having a firsthand experience on how beauty standards affect us rather than like a conventionally attractive girl talk about body positivity n whatnot. while it’s an important conversation, seeing someone who looks like me and has experienced the problems skinny people like dance around in beauty standard commentary vids is so refreshing and helps me feel so seen, thank u 💜💜

  • @dinopop58
    @dinopop58 Před 2 lety +91

    i had to confront my desexualization (and de-romanticization?) over the past year. as someone who grew up fat and with more traditional/conservative parents who discouraged romantic interactions in my youth, at 18 i went into my first relationship with my boyfriend trying to comprehend romance/sex and its new relation to my life. for the longest time i saw relationships and sex as something that would happen to me when i was 24 and thinner (& consequently hotter in my eyes then). i even saw myself as undeserving of masturbation, thinking no one would ever find me sexy and it was embarrassing of me to try and engage w sex in any way. unraveling this w my boyfriend has been incredibly revealing and insightful to figuring out my perception of myself and ways to improve my esteem. following you has definitely helped in my journey toward self-confidence 💕 thank you for unabashedly speaking about these issues and your experiences.

    • @kael9664
      @kael9664 Před 2 lety +7

      Thank you for sharing your story! I love reading these comments. Feels like an empowering sleepover conversation
      tbh.

  • @astracreates
    @astracreates Před 2 lety +60

    thank you for speaking about this, I used to project my insecurities into imaginary people and I just got more scared about interactions of any kind and specially during sex because I was abused so I didn't think I deserved respect and this scenarios matched that and reinforced those negative messages // I celebrate your life and honesty xoxo ✨

  • @laurenlinney
    @laurenlinney Před 2 lety +33

    thank u so much for talking about this!! 🥺 the idea of sex makes me so insecure and all my friends have already had it but it's so intimidating to me. this helped so much and you're such an amazing role model :))

  • @emi2645
    @emi2645 Před 10 měsíci +3

    I have a body that I know full well, so many other women would dream of having. I'm not fat, I have a flat stomach and reasonably sized boobs. Despite all of this, I still struggle really badly with how I feel in my body. The slightest bit of "flab" poking out over my jeans knocks my stomach and I just don't know why. To see how body positive you and other "larger" content creators are really helps me to be in a better frame of mind about my own body. Your content doesn't just help other "plus sized" women, it helps people of all shapes and sizes who have insecurities about the way that they look. I'm fatphobic towards myself and I'm self aware, yet I just can't break the cycle

  • @erlijneolivier2185
    @erlijneolivier2185 Před 2 lety +24

    Thank you big sister, that was so inspiring! Fck beauty standards!! I am still working on my internalised fatphobia and struggled with an eating disorder. The last few years my confidence grew so much, I am shifting more and more to a idgaf point of view and just existing in my body like you said ;) learning to love myself and grow that love bigger than all the hate. Sending you all my love from Belgium 😘

  • @celestebennier-pittau7885
    @celestebennier-pittau7885 Před 2 lety +24

    thank u sm this was really empowering

  • @kenzyavery5580
    @kenzyavery5580 Před 2 lety +23

    Thank you for the video. I’m a trans man and my insecurities during sex come from the body I was born with. I’m going to try and start using your way of thinking, I think it’ll help! I know it might take awhile but I’m grateful to start somewhere. :)

    • @lovejessicablair
      @lovejessicablair  Před 2 lety +8

      as long as you're trying, that's all that matters! i'm sending you so much love and hugs, angel

    • @FoundSheep-AN
      @FoundSheep-AN Před rokem +3

      Try searching for exulansic ‘ s (isle of ex) video

  • @lucfierslight
    @lucfierslight Před 2 lety +18

    Round tummies are so cute and sexy! I love my stomach rolls and my partner’s. ❤️😍 We are soft and plush lol! It’s definitely a struggle to feel okay or stay present during intimacy sometimes especially after going through trauma. Y’all got this! I’ve gotten so much better at feeling confident through the years.

  • @amandanicole3999
    @amandanicole3999 Před rokem +5

    Just found this video, but I wanted to thank you for making it. I was in an abusive relationship for 6 years and was called fat during sex on the regular. I now hate sex. But watching this video is very helpful ❤️ thank you for talking about this

  • @erisenfloyd
    @erisenfloyd Před rokem +4

    I just gotta say I haven’t resonated with a video more than I have with this one in a long time 😭 thank u so much for this, just found your channel today and I’m already obsessed

  • @VeronikaAgamova
    @VeronikaAgamova Před 2 lety +15

    Thanks for making me feel better! I'm in a long-distance relationship and it sometimes can be tricky not to get stuck in overanalyzing the pictures I want to send to my partner, but he's always so so supportive and kind, so finding genuinely good people to date is life-changing. If you saw any of Maddie Dragsbaek's videos about taking nudes, would be SO interesting to watch your take on this, maybe body-positive photo ideas, or a video similar to these! because your Instagram pictures are ethereal!!

    • @lovejessicablair
      @lovejessicablair  Před 2 lety +5

      okay you actually inspired my newest video!! i just posted abt nudes, so hopefully that helps! but also i completely get it, i've also hyper-analyzed the nudes i've sent my bf before but then i just remind myself that he's lucky to be getting those pics of me anyways and that i'm hot no matter what 😭

  • @bml0613
    @bml0613 Před 2 lety +7

    I have nothing better to say but thank you. This video came in the perfect time for me, since I'm still struggling to accept my body and everything that comes with that fun easygoing journey lol so thanks, this ment so much

  • @beastbre
    @beastbre Před 2 lety +1

    Channeling all this energy 🥺❤️💅🏼 thank you!

  • @littledevil6774
    @littledevil6774 Před 2 lety +4

    I love everything about your vibe

  • @Lexduback
    @Lexduback Před rokem +1

    Thank you for FINALLY talking about this. I was starting to think I was the only one

  • @sarahreid6360
    @sarahreid6360 Před rokem +1

    This is the big sister talk I needed! I’m late to the party but tysm!💞

  • @Alexa-xl1gi
    @Alexa-xl1gi Před rokem +16

    Wow, I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’m 18, still a virgin, and still terrified of anyone seeing my body unclothed. Sex terrifies me and I still don’t believe I’ll ever find someone who wants to have sex with me.

    • @nagmerrie4600
      @nagmerrie4600 Před rokem +2

      One day you are going to cuddle your partner after an awesome sex session and think back to this comment and how silly you were to waste so much time on worries. You got this. There is someone out there dying to love and adore your body. Try and focus on other things in the mean time!

    • @Alright281
      @Alright281 Před 7 měsíci +2

      The fact that 18 is an age where you can "still" be a virgin shows how demoralized teens are to rush everything and to not build a loyal true relationship 1:38

  • @stupidloser279
    @stupidloser279 Před rokem +2

    Thank you so much for this. ❤️ It helps me a lot. You have a lot of wisdom from your experiences and I soo appreciate you sharing it. 💙💜

  • @jessib00
    @jessib00 Před 2 lety +16

    My greatest power now is being able to decline sex
    ~just because it's offered~ . I used to take what I could get essentially and that really did a load on my psyche . Sorry Broskis....highly qualified respectful individuals need only apply 😽

  • @bellav7241
    @bellav7241 Před 2 lety +6

    Such a great video 💕 also I love your comment sections here, it’s so wholesome and supportive. Thank you for making this little collective space on the internet 🦀❤️

    • @lovejessicablair
      @lovejessicablair  Před 2 lety +2

      aw that makes me so happy! thank you all for allowing me to create and grow this space 🥺

  • @seabiiscuit
    @seabiiscuit Před rokem +2

    This video is amazing, you're wonderful

  • @tonidene1641
    @tonidene1641 Před 2 lety +4

    Thanks girl 🥰❤️

  • @imonce5699
    @imonce5699 Před 2 lety +5

    NECESITO UN VIDEO COMO ESTE PERO EN ESPAÑOL 😓
    Me siento mal conmigo misma y siento que estos videos me ayudarían ♡
    Espero que alguna vez estén disponibles los subtitulos al español ^^
    Pdta: Eres hermosa 💖

  • @nelly.kasparova
    @nelly.kasparova Před 2 lety +1

    thank you so much 🥺❤️❤️❤️

  • @fantastica6935
    @fantastica6935 Před 2 lety +3

    thank you so much, you are such an inspiration to me :-)

  • @xanthewright-allen1864

    This video gave me so much validation, thank you 💕

  • @aakrishamgain163
    @aakrishamgain163 Před 2 lety +7

    I feel so much better when i see you or any of your videos.

    • @lovejessicablair
      @lovejessicablair  Před 2 lety +2

      u are so sweet!! 🥺

    • @aakrishamgain163
      @aakrishamgain163 Před 2 lety

      @@lovejessicablair you’ve helped me a lot jess🥰 thankyou for some amount of love i am able to feel for myself now.

  • @theglockykuzdra1006
    @theglockykuzdra1006 Před rokem +4

    Bruh I just realized the first time I had sex was before the first time I held hands or went on a date. Well, that's fucked up.

  • @Someone-mi4vt
    @Someone-mi4vt Před rokem +1

    I honestly thought it was just me. I was just a freak. But I didn’t realise all of this was internalised fat phobia. Love your videos so much.

  • @probbytube
    @probbytube Před 2 lety +3

    thanks big sis

  • @nat-uz4sb
    @nat-uz4sb Před rokem +2

    Yoda looks chill actually

    • @highimally3520
      @highimally3520 Před rokem

      She prolly doesn’t even know Star Wars at all and just went with the baby Yoda doll trend

  • @hopeard3512
    @hopeard3512 Před rokem

    You would make an amazing therapist ❤

  • @ONeil-S.D
    @ONeil-S.D Před rokem +4

    #free the fupa!

  • @heidikane1172
    @heidikane1172 Před rokem

    I love you

  • @toullamarie929
    @toullamarie929 Před 2 lety +1

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @cuca_
    @cuca_ Před rokem +3

    Can anyone tell me what type of American accent she has

    • @sweetsirenaine
      @sweetsirenaine Před rokem +9

      I'm from Cali and she sounds completely typical to me, so probably PNW (if that's even an accent)

  • @Bdchi3
    @Bdchi3 Před měsícem

    You had me until the phobia stuff🤤