answering the questions i've been avoiding...
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- čas přidán 19. 06. 2024
- finally breaking my silence and answering all of ur juicy (and not so juicy) questions....
✩ s o c i a l s ✩
instagram ➭ @lovejessicablair lovejessica...
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twitter ➭ @luvjessicablair / luvjessicablair
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what i'm wearing: (* = affiliate links)
rat shirt*: www.motom.me/a/Jv3iSA
eyeglasses*: www.motom.me/a/JG7RTz
✩ music ➭ Bossa for the Boss • Bossa For The Boss r...
-swipesy cakewalk cute background music: • [ no copyright music ]...
time stamps
0:00-0:29 intro
0:29-0:52 my MOST asked questions...
0:52-2:01 how to navigate ur 20s
2:01-3:52 how do u avoid procrastination?
3:52- 4:42 what's a "small fat"?
4:42-5:50 i'm in law school?!
5:50-5:55 what was my college major?
5:56-9:54 questions about my cats :p
9:54-10:14 moving outside of the US?
10:14-12:04 masculinity & femininity in self-image
12:04-12:45 my least favorite trend...
12:45-14:07 authenticity & performance
14:07-17:37 how to be kind to urself when gaining weight?
17:37-18:02 what completely changed your life?
18:02-19:00 fav fashion era?
19:00-22:24 feeling insecure in my relationship bc of my weight?
22:24-22:55 favorite films?
22:55-25:11 how do you deal with hate comments?
25:11-25:30 what size are you?
25:30-28:56 self-acceptance advice
28:56-29:40 how did you get an amazing boyfriend?
29:40-30:38 are you gay?
30:38-31:41 are there any clothes you're scared of?
31:41-32:47 final thoughts/outro - Jak na to + styl
as a recent 32 year old, i can heartily confirm that life doesn't start in your 20s. your teens are for surviving, and your 20s are for healing from your teens. i'm only just now feeling like a real person.
Exactly, I'm also in my 30s and now i can sort of relax and enjoy being an adult
Thank you for this, this was inspiring and relieving.
-sincerely someone in their early 20s on the struggle bus 😂
@@elw1289 you'll get through it! i've heard from so many 50+ women that life just gets easier as you go along. the lie that things get easier in your 20s is so rampant
@@luvgren literally!
I’m 23 and every day feels like a crisis and a half, even if nothing is going on. People who say it’s the best years of your life are on some hard drugs
the body positivity vs neutrality thing actually reminds me of something i learned in outpatient therapy, which was thought ladders. if we want to change a negative belief, its generally only attainable by moving gradually (rung by rung) into neutrality and then eventually positivity. if we feel like a part of us sucks, telling ourselves that its amazing and perfect just feels fake, and might be too uncomfortable to even think to ourselves. however, easing into "this is just a part of who i am" and "i do not deserve to feel shame about this" is a lot less of a stretch and likely wont cause the same level of recoil. its def very useful
that's really interesting! and makes a lot of sense
I’m going to try this
I really felt that part where you say that life is too short and that you don't want to reach 50 and think "how I wish I had liked my body when I was young". I had a very similar thought, I don't want to spend my whole life in a battle to change my body, without wearing the clothes I like, without eating the foods I love. We only have one life. Never stop recording your videos, kisses from Brazil! ❤❤
There’s not a “good body” or a “bad body” is what I needed to hear ngl
I´ve known I was bi since I was 14, but have been with my partner since I was 16 and so I haven´t explored that side either. But everytime I would come out to someone as bi, whether I was 14 or 18 or 25, so many reactions were ´but have you slept with a woman?´ or ´no you´re not until you have sex with men and women´. So seeing someone with a similar situation is very healing right now, especially since I´ve so much trauma associated with identifying as bi now. thank you!
Yeah it can be really invalidating to hear stuff like that, I'm in the same position, and you're just as valid as any other bi person!
“Cat hair is just an outfit accessory” 💜💜💜 I have a black pug and mostly wear black so I don’t even use the lint roller 😂
your style reminds me of my scene dolls.
one of the best compliments u could give me
Babka is a funny word ngl. It’s not just a cake, it also means grandmother or a young, attractive woman😅
i know! lmao
I stan the opossum. (And the y2k styyyyle. Miss Mam knew what she was doing)
your words on body neutrality are honestly so refreshing to hear, cause it lowkey feels so exhausting to try follow the mindset of body positivity and it never felt attainable or aUtHeniC to me personally lol.
body positivity did help me a lot when it first started becoming more mainstream in the mid/late 2010s, but it’s devolved into something so different and removed from its origins (imo) that it feels so forced + inauthentic a lot of the time. i do relate more to body neutrality and think viewing my body as a body helps my mindset a lot more than trying to be like “my body is perfect no matter what!!!” :”)
Oh my god (๑•﹏•) I felt the part about being tall + fat = assigned masculinity SO hard.
I used to wear mens jeans, Converse shoes and oversized shirts every day. I was sometimes mistaken as a boy (when I was a teen.) Pretty much the complete opposite now. I dress very feminine almost all the time but I also have a "masculine personality" too so also relate to the dating thing. Still do wear Converse shoes and oversized shirts but I style them in a ♡cute way♡ now lmfao.
It's been 15 years (and 2 clothing size jumps) since this time. It was the worst I've ever felt about my body, but right now is the BEST I've ever felt.
as much as it sucks, i’m glad someone can relate! and i’m even more glad that you’re feeling good in ur body + with ur style now!!
something that really helps my procrastinating as sm1 w adhd is something similar to parallel play, but instead its work ! like, for example, if i need to clean my room ill ask my mom or a friend to help, or if i need to get work on my computer done ill ask a friend to sit with me and do the same ! it really helps me stay on task and keeps me motivated, knowing if i go off task itll effect them, and having someone close is always nice :3
I love Mr. Possum being our sleepover buddy, just like when Miss Deer was our haul buddy during your room makeover
omg i’m happy u remember her?? 😭 she is doing very well + is living a happy life on my dresser!!
HI JESS ILYYY (also ur hair ate)
ty my love
I could listen to you talking for hours and hours haha You are such a smart and interesting person! I can see the sociology background, ur content is helping me a lot, specially with self-acceptence. I love your content and I def think you are beautiful and u slay ur outfits so baddddd, u are such an inspo :)
i love your videos sm this one genuinely felt super cozy and calming like a very needed comforting talk !!
also! this is the first time i've heard about the body neutrality idea tbh but it instantly felt right bc instead of fixating on the image and building an attitude which body positivity might lead to we can just try to make it a bit less of a deal and let ourselves chill about such a wonderfully mundane thing as bodies
Your editing style is so iconic
It’s probably best not to put the next stage of your life on a pedestal and just focus on what you can do in the present to change your life and the conditions you are in. The future will come regardless. Instead of saying “hopefully in my thirties I’ll have my life together” or “my life will be better in my thirties” just ask yourself what you can do to get your life together or what you can do to make your life better. Idealizing your thirties or any next stage in your life sets you up for disappointment and can lead to unconsciously putting up blinders for what you can be doing in the present and leaving it for your future self. Now it’s important to make sure you still give yourself grace and not to overwhelm yourself, from my observation putting your next stage of life on a pedestal like that leads to dissatisfaction once you arrive. Your whole life is a journey of learning. Some people have a different pace than others. Your life will get better, but the question isn’t when it’s how.
i more so meant what i said not in a “your 30s will be sooo much better” way but in a “your 20s aren’t the end of your life” way. a lot of people in their 20s feel like if they don’t accomplish everything they want and figure everything out in their 20s, that they’re somehow a failure. i don’t view it as an unrealistic pressure that sets myself up for disappointment, but rather a comfort that i don’t *need* to figure out everything in my life by the time i reach 30
@@lovejessicablair Ah ok, apologies for the misunderstanding!
I just binged watched all of your videos. please make more.
i love the way you edit
i usually dont comment on videos but ive been binging your videos lately bc all my life ive been surrounded by thin people so it feels like i have an older cool sister (even though im like only 3 years younger than you Jess lol) that helps me with accepting how i look and that the clothes should fit me and i shouldnt make myself thinner so i can fit the clothes you know what i mean?? thank you for your videos you always make my day and ever since i found you on tiktok and youtube shorts ive been getting better with my self-confidence and my style bc not many people wear colorful clothing and try to express themselves in Poland and it feels a little isolating going out the world with pink-green hair looking like strawberry shortcake haha so really thank you
I reccomend moving to Montreal, Canada. There is so much English spoken and a cool fashion scene. Comfortable and cute and creative, no stuck up ppl. There are free programs to learn French and I think you could like it. You already know how to deal with the cold! And our healthcare??????? Need to say more? 😂
my bf and i have thought about possibly living in canada one day but idk if the government would want us 😭
The Quebec government is literally a joke. Actually maybe it’s good that you don’t come. They take too much $$$ in taxes 😢
British Columbia then ;)
I was told yesterday at a shop not try on childrens clothes with stunted bones and very bad anorexia. Clerk humiliated in front of while store 8 year old tee shirts dont fit too big and i have muscle wastage on my knees. Im 38 kilos . Waist is 21 inches my hips are 31 meaning no jeans in the country fit either so kids are an option. I wear 8 years in the shop i got the abuse in . Im going to head office and collecting the skirt that I wanted who cares what colour it is. I cannot fit in the adult section but im just glad I'm still alive but even when weight restored I need the kids make. I agree people should wear what they want within reason.
I was definitely getting bi energy from you as a bi girlie myself but I totally understand not wanting to say you are because of lack of experience etc. Even now after having some experience with girls in highschool but having a boyfriend for 5+ years I say I'm "technically gay" to people and get stressed if I need to tell someone I am bi for context because I feel like I'll get interrogated or have to tell them my whole history. Bisexual was a word that fit for me and made me feel more like me in a time when I didn't have a good view of myself. Whatever you're feeling is valid and it's okay to be confused/conflicted 👍 Also I love your content and you're so cool okay bye!
NEW JESS VIDEO godbless im about to pick an outfit while watching 🙏🙏🙏
i just know ur outfit is gonna slay
the intro clip reminded me of the "good luck, babe" lyric video (i'm lowkey obsessed with chappell roan)
i hadn’t seen the lyric video for that song yet but i look it up and it’s sooo cute 😭
As always, your content's the best.
thank u my love 🥺💗
@@lovejessicablairyou’re welcome, jess.
babe wake up jess dropped a new video
Omgg you said you were getting rid of this top I need it girl give it to meee 😭😭😭
lmaoo why are u reading me like this 😭 i do wanna get rid of it but i also want more graphic tees!! i have link to the shirt i’m wearing in my description though!
i fell confortable waching u, like we are bestis or smth😅 ❤
Babka
omg another polish bestie hiii
LOVE your videos and your style! youre seriously sooooo beautiful
aw tysm my love!!
As a fellow bi who hasn't explored their sexuality that's totally valid, sometimes I have to remind myself of that. I've been in a monogamous relationship for 4 years now and I don't see that changing, but that doesn't mean I'm not longer bi
My cat’s name is Jimmy but I call him Stinky and his collar name tag literally says Mr. Smelly 😂🧡 so Babka could still be Mr. Stink as a nickname hehehe
aw i love jimmy/mr. smelly 😭 i’ll definitely still call him mr. stink!!
I remember when I first heard you say “small fat” I got very nervous because I’ve only ever heard it used as a way to devalue fat bodies other than your own. (i.e. I’m better than you because I’m a small fat, or You’re a small fat so you can’t be in these spaces. Simplified examples but yeah) I’m happy to hear it in a positive context. Thank you for explaining
i would never intentionally say anything to devalue fat people! like i totally get what you’re saying but i mostly used the term “small fat” cause people would get mad at me when i just said “fat.” but i’ve kinda just gone back to saying fat in general
Hope Jess subjects herself to this comment despite herself not needing to subject herself to this comment 😰 ( 23:09 )
it’s never “subjecting” myself when it’s u guys!!! 💗💞💕💞💗💕💞💗
i want babka rn i fear😔🩷 its also a polish specialty......such a sweet kitten