Shadow Relationships: Why You Love Them & How To Stop I Shadow Work Exercise I New Course, Watch Now
Vložit
- čas přidán 8. 07. 2024
- Join me in The Shadow Work Library:
courses.jordanthornton.com/sh...
FREE: Shadow Work Playlist (15 Videos):
• Shadow Work Playlist |...
Shadow work for toxic relationships & trauma bonds in this guided shadow work exercise as we explore the shadow psychology of toxic relationship and relationship trauma - with a specific focus on Trauma Bonds, Co-dependency and common Toxic Relationship patterns.
An especially useful video for individuals who want to learn how to use shadow work to heal their trauma bonds, stop trauma bond relationships and otherwise remove themselves from harmful toxic relationship cycles.
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS ⏱️
00:00 You Can Break The Cycle
01:55 Taboo Territory & Safety Check
03:37 Shadow Magnetism Exercise
06:00 Red Flags & Toxic Relationships
10:20 Why Do We Make Bad Choices?
15:30 Your History Is Your Destiny
///
Topics explored: trauma bonding; toxic relationships; toxic relationships healing; trauma bond; what is trauma bonding; trauma bonds; toxic relationship; toxic relationship healing; toxic relationship psychology; red flags in relationships; red flag psychology; relationship advice; signs of a toxic relationship; red flags in dating; red flags of dating; shadow work; shadow work relationships; relationship shadow work; shadow work for couples; shadow work exercise; trauma bond relationship;
///
📸 - Follow me on Instagram: / thorntontheory
DM me for 1:1 consultations & private mentoring.
#shadowwork #traumahealing #relationshipadvice
I know that not everybody can afford an online course, but I hope that the fifteen videos in the Shadow Work Playlist will support the next steps of your shadow integration journey.
I created this free playlist to function like a crash-course on shadow psychology with the intention of being as accessible and actionable as possible. I didn't want to stash the basics behind a paywall or email signup - I would rather you keep learning right here on CZcams.
You can instantly access over five hours of beginner-to-advanced shadow work exercises and lectures with the free playlist linked in the description.
Make sure to take your time with the guided exercises, and don't forget to buy the golden books.
Jordan
P. S. I want to say a heartfelt thank you to this comments section community. My channel is niche, and you've seen the Inner Work Library slowly expand over the last two years. I feel fortunate to receive such deep and genuine connections online, and CZcams recently told me that there have been more than 4000 unique commentors across my entire channel.
Thank you for showing up, I appreciate you.
If you want more depth, we can meet inside the library:
courses.jordanthornton.com/shadow-work-library/
You hit the nail on the head at 18:20. My pattern was ‘projects’; high IQ, low EQ men who struggle with confidently accessing their potential. I’ve had 3 serious partners who I’ve supported into law school, through self-study, career transitions, and significant financial advancement. Two years ago, I finally did a thorough ideal partner exericse, saw the reflection, how it was filling/draining me, the role I assumed, and where/how I was avoiding my own potential. I started pouring that “you can do this, I believe in you, we’re in this together” energy into my Self, and it’s been incredibly nourishing for my Soul.
This is inspirational, and great to hear this story from you for the first time. I'm glad that you chose yourself, and keep doing so with great intentions of giving back.
Oh yes……this is totally relatable. My father was narcissistic and depressed, judgemental, negative, manipulative. He loved me until I developed a personality then dropped me. My self esteem plummeted and the last relationship was with a married man, who was brilliant and broken and credits me with saving his life.
I’m now trying to save myself.
Where did you find this ideal partner assessment? Your experience sounds similar to mine 😅
@@jordansjul it was a process I moved through intuitively after deep contemplation. I'm sure you could google ideas and then make them your own!
@@nicoleconnor_ Thank you! I will look into it. I’m a career teacher and an ENFJ, so I think some of my pull towards “people projects” is bc of my personality and career choice, but you’re correct that it can be convenient to pour into/inspire other people v concentrating on my own self-actualization and goals. It’s definitely something that I need to address.
My masculine side is strong as well as my feminine... I've both been the abusive partner and the addict female crazy and over sexualised.... My adoptive mother was abusive and controlling... I've just learned that I'm still waiting on someone to come and take control of my life for me.... I'm learning all the time... Self love is the ultimate journey for me... Thank you for this video
It seems like you’ve been taking the right steps. Thank you for sharing and keep going.
@@jordanthornton could you make a video on unhealthy femininity in a relationship, or what in your opinion is wrong to do in a relationship like "playing with fire" and what is excessive control of a man?
I've always wondered why I've attracted so many folks with borderline personality disorder and substance abuse problems etcetera. Maybe subconsciously I feel more stable in contrast with them, even though I have my own turmoil as well. Or indeed I don't feel I 'deserve' people who are good for me, and for some reason I value the impulsivity/forwardness of these people. Because I'm so stifled myself, I've put those traits in my shadow.
That's an interesting reflection point - thanks for sharing some of your story here. Certainly something to be said for dating towards dysfunction as an affirmation of our own functionality. Shadow projection goes many ways.
You’re like that friend I’ve always wanted and needed but never had - that speaks my language and confronts me in a loving way as to empower me. Thank you.
Happy to be here at the right timing for you, and see that you’ve been engaging in different videos this week. Keep going with your studies, and make sure to pick up the books 🌲
@@jordanthornton Thank you. I really respect your journey and business model. Keep up the great work!
@@waakkeuppp Give as much away as I can for free, as often as I can - wishing you well!
Here I am again, Jordan. I'm so grateful for your work!
I admit I'm not a regular consumer of your content, but from time to time, I come back to watch your videos. And I believe one of the reasons I don't consume them frequently is that they bring me deep reflections that take time to absorb.
Thank you for sparking questions in me that lead to new understandings, which then lead me to new questions.
Your work is truly genuine. And you know it.
My pattern in relationships is a constant attraction to prom*scuous women.
I've gone through phases of trying to avoid this type of woman and phases of diving headfirst into relationships like that. Neither worked for me.
Gabriel, thank you for being here. Reading your heartfelt comment means a lot to me, and I do try my best to give the best quality guidance I can for free on this channel - so thank you for seeing this. I've got more videos coming up on shadow relationships in 2024, and likewise recommend reading Invisible Partners by John Sanford + Facing Love Addiction by Pia Melody if you want some practical support for your pattern in the meantime. You got this, brother.
Wish you didn’t have to censor either. Thank you for being so open.
Thank you, Jordan!
Always welcome, thanks for being here.
Major breakthrough. Thank you.
You are truly welcome.
I’m so glad your videos came into my CZcams scrolling. Thank you for the great information and explanations, time to binge watch the rest! Also I’m so taken back by your lovely masculine voice, it has a beautiful healing resonance even making my heart warm ❤️🔥 I could listen all night! especially for a cozy deep sleep 😄
You’ll enjoy the books shared here too, some absolute gems. Welcome, and wishing you the best 🌲
I see the points you make and agree, but I also see some other side of these negative traits. I‘ve noticed on my list, that in the past I kept on falling for the same kind of man and that some of the negative traits I‘ve written down (not showing their vulnerability, avoiding problem solution, having a very negative self image and image of the world) are also the negative traits that I worked on very hard myself the past years. Just made me wonder if I tried to ‚solve‘ my problems, in someone with the same traits. Since I identified those problems as my own as well and worked on them, I‘ve noticed that I don’t feel drawn to these traits in other people anymore. Being vulnerable for example. Yes there have been people who took advantage of it since then, but I also learned how much deeper a relationship gets if both can show their vulnerable side. Today I couldn’t imagine being with someone who doesn’t show their vulnerability, while in the past it seemed ‚safer‘ to be with someone who also didn’t want that much intimacy.
Thanks!
Brian thank you, Merry Christmas. Truly appreciated and I hope that this playlist helps - some of my best work on CZcams.
The cogency of your delivery is admirable. Great guidance, too
Brother, thank you. Love the word 'cogency' too - something you don't hear often. Wishing you the best with your own channel and shadow work in 2024.
my downfall will be caused by how much i love to play games with my heart and the hearts of others
There's always time to change the path.
Absolutely love this. Thank you Jordan 💜 I'll be going to court soon, for things and it's extremely difficult emotionally for me and I hope this helps me to remain strong. So greatfull.
Ok so I've come to this reflection upon doing this writing exercise. I seem to crave the way someone seems to love me to a point where that would make someone chase to an extremely toxic extent. However why do I crave this and what's that say about me? I do not like the vibrations this leads me to get into. I'm desperately trying to grow from this. Any advice would be amazing please and thank you for all you have helped me with 💜🌘
I'm glad that this proved powerful for you, thanks for taking part. I hesitate to give specific advice on your personal situation (because I don't know you and wouldn't want to give bad guidance), but the best general invitation I can give to your question about choosing people who 'chase to an extremely toxic extent' is that it usually relates to issues of low self-worth. Somebody who feels particularly undesirable would be a good match for somebody who chases in a particularly extreme way - if that makes sense?
Most of the major work about breaking toxic patterns tends to relate back to self-esteem and dignity, which can be worked on through various trauma healing modalities and also lifestyle upgrades across the board. It's not a direct or 'quick fix', but it's one of the major pillars and I hope this helps - about as much as I can safely suggest in a public youtube comment, I hope you understand.
@@jordanthornton Thank you it makes perfect sense. I have never felt loved or appreciated for my mind always made to dim it out. So that makes complete sense, I appreciate truly all the free help you do share. Once I'm in a more stable environment I plan on taking part of some of your paid courses! Thank you again!
Genius
teenage relationships? my god, thank god I didn't have any at that age.
Hard for everyone! 😅
could you make a video on unhealthy femininity in a relationship, or what in your opinion is wrong to do in a relationship like "playing with fire" and what is excessive control of a man?
Sure, screenshotted. Will do my best.
Thank you Jordan 💜🌸🙏🏻
Always happy to help. and proud of this course curriculum too!
❤
Hope you found value here 🌲
13:02 Why we make bad choices.
Hope the video was helpful and you found something in this exercise.
Please specify that if certain negative traits are present in the Psyche, it is true that they will likely remain for the rest of your life UNTIL you are able to transmute them into the healthier versions. The shadow may crop up from time to time, but it is nowhere near as damning as can be perceived in this video. Cheers, and good luck everyone!
Sure, I think we're saying the same thing: certain tendencies or 'traits' can be fixed to some degree in certain trauma survivors, and we can shift them from 'negative' to 'healthier versions'... but the tendency is nonetheless there at baseline (even if its only 1% the strength of what it was when unhealed)
Language games maybe, but my hesitancy is never suggesting that a shadow can be fully integrated to 100% - thanks for watching!
Stupid question, but if you want to do shadow work or any kind of Jungian active imagination, is it something you have to do every day? Can you do it just once a week and still make progress? Is it a practice for a lifetime, or do you do it to solve a problem and then again as necessary?
Also, I see that you have a lot of videos, which is great. But do you have a recommendation for beginniers, especially those who haven't had any major trauma (none of the big stuff) - which set of videos or which courses? There is so much offered, which again, is great (so thank you), but also a bit overwhelming.
Thanks so much. And thanks for the work you do. Just found your channel and find it very educational.
This shadow work playlist is a great place to start, some of my best teaching and the link is in the description of this video. I then recommend clicking around depending on interests!
In terms of active imagination, most people tend to do it everyday for a short period of time and then it becomes a once-per-week kind of thing, yes. Can also be seasons of work depending on life circumstances, depends on you.
Happy to have you here, thanks for getting involved.
@@jordanthornton Thank you! Will be sending your channel to my friends :)
Jordan, is it ok to do shadow work or inner child work for a person who has dissociative identity disorder?
Most of the time, yes - however it can be disorienting depending on what's happening. I've screenshotted your question and will try to make a full video on this as soon as I can.
@@jordanthornton thank you very much jordan. I really appreciate it !
The only thing i can connect is i myself ruined the relationship
Wishing you the absolute best for the year ahead, and I hope this playlist continues to provide some support - keep at it.
🐇🐇🐇
🌲🌲🌲