GRIEF | HOW TO COMFORT SOMEONE WHO IS GRIEVING
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- čas přidán 28. 11. 2016
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GRIEVING: HOW TO COMFORT SOMEONE
What do you do and how do you respond when someone you love is experiencing a loss? That’s coming up next on the BEAT.
Hey everyone my name is Allen Parr thank you so much for tuning in. Today we are asking the question, “How do you comfort someone in a loss?” And the truth is that sometimes it’s awkward because we don’t really know what to do and what to say. We’re often afraid of saying the wrong thing. So, today I want to share with you 2 DON’Ts and 4 DO’s when comforting someone through a loss.
1. DO NOT…
a. Assume the person wants or needs space. If this person is a true friend of yours, not only do they want to hear from you, they need to hear from you and they expect to hear from you. And if you don’t express your genuine concern for them it can compound their pain because the people closest to them were not there for them in their point of greatest need.
b. Talk too much - The Bible says, “let every word we speak be HELPFUL and according to the NEED OF THE MOMENT.”
i. This doesn’t mean don’t talk at all, it just means to use wisdom.
ii. Sometimes when we don’t know what to say to someone we say too much. What we need to realize is that when someone is experiencing the pain of a loss there really isn’t ANYTHING secular or spiritual that you could say that would remove or lessen the pain.
iii. Say…“Well, they are in a better place.” “Heaven has just received an angel.” - The reality is that you don’t always know whether the person is going to heaven or not. “It was their time.” “You’ll see them again.”
iv. The reason why we shouldn’t say things like this is because although we hope these things are true we don’t know for sure where the deceased person is.
v. Also, more importantly, at that moment the person doesn’t care about seeing that person in heaven. They miss them right now on earth.
2. Prayers
a. Not just praying for them but praying with them.
b. There is something encouraging that begins to happen when you lay your hands on someone who is in pain and they hear you cry out to God with all of your heart on their behalf.
3. Presence
a. Job - Health, Wealth, Family, Friends
b. This means recognizing that they are in a very vulnerable state and don’t need to deal with it alone.
c. Weep with them.
d. Listening to them for as long as they need. The key, once again, is not to do a lot of talking.
e. Follow up with them every couple of days and during special days such as that person’s birthday or during the holidays to reassure them that they don’t have to walk through this alone.
4. Provisions
a. The Bible says, “Do not withhold good to those who deserve it when it is in your power to help them.”
b. Ask them is there anything that they need? Often times when a person experiences loss they are in a state of denial or shock and for some time they won’t be able to think straight enough to do basic things.
c. So, offer to take them food, shop for groceries, doing housework, send them a gift card, watch their children, take them out to lunch or a movie, invite them over to dinner, etc.
5. Patience
a. In other words, don’t pass judgment on them if it takes them longer to process the pain of the loss than it takes you.
b. Understand that depending on the depth of the loss this person may need some serious time to process the loss.
I was not gifted with much empathy and I’m dealing with a gf who lost both grandmothers the same day. Needless to say this video helped me and I already messed up and made things worse
Same honestly
@@jalexusiamilner2432 Sometimes just holding your loved one and letting them talk is all that's needed.
You don't need to say anything.
I'm late to the conversation so this is probably irrelevant now but if my partner had done that when I lost my mum it would have helped me cope so much better. A shoulder to cry on .... positive therapy.
@@missym7245 yes, I think this is of truth (and is similar to how/what we see here 2:38)
Exactly, just because I don't have too much empathy, that doesn't mean that I don't feel bad, it DOESNT mean that I don't care...My mom has already guilt tripped me geniunely even thinking that I don't care, I'm visiting the person's family today evening, I'm talking about my friend's mom dying of Coronavirus.
As for me, I haven't ever lost someone very close yet, it's hard but I'm trying to show empathy
Mistake I did is the "better place"
My friend lost her mom a few months ago, and I ended up writing a song for her and she loved it. I hope it really blessed her.
My bf just lost his mom i just wanted to be there for him; i just to show him that I'm here for him
Miss Collins hi sorry to bother but I’m having the same experience what did you do ? I feel lost
Yes please fill us in on what the last several months have been like. I want to help him so badly.
Did he push you away? Cause my boyfriend lost his brother 2 days ago and I havent really heard or seen him that much. Is that a normal reaction?
If you guys want to support each other
Ima leave my insta @lavieenrose_moon
& I’ll put everyone in a group chat just dm me
❤️❤️❤️
This is the exact reason why I looked up this type of video. My bf lost his mother a month ago and it’s been very hard and this videos help ease me and now imma try even harder to help him through this process
It's so true that we need to be mindful to reach out to others who are grieving. I have had people not reach out to me out of fear but really I just felt like they didn't really care! Our absence can definitely be misunderstood and can add to the pain someone is already experiencing.
Buried my wife of 27 years a few weeks ago. Thank you #AllenParr for these words of wisdom. So much truth here that many don’t understand when seeking to encourage or comfort those dealing with loss. May this content get in front of all those that need and can benefit from it.
I just lost my dad,this past Saturday.....no one really has reach out to me..
Myrna Sey I hope you're doing okay ❤
I am so sorry. When I lost my father I wish people reached out to me more. I hope you’re feeling alright. Always remember that there are countless people on the internet, myself included, who will shower you with love and comfort if you ask.
I'm so sorry....
Myrna Sey I’m sorry
Myrna Sey if you are sad use that power to be the best you can then you may see them again 🙃
This video has really helped me. I have high functioning autism and have to attend a funeral today. I am really terrible and knowing what to do and often just don't say anything at all or even acknowledge It when I see the people who are grieving. It's very difficult because I wish I could automatically be able to figure out what to do or to analyze a situation on my own and respond appropriately.
And as a Christian this helped me twice over.
Thank you 🙌
I'd like to share my best friend's story with you.
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
Tribute to Ethan Lakey
czcams.com/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/video.html
My sister lost her spouse Tuesday, it is very challenging to know the right things that we should do. I am praying HARD for her and my niece everyday but it is very DIFFICULT to truly express their grievance. To be there everyday it’s difficult to understand for the grievance. I say just continue to be supportive even if the feel they don’t need it.
My father in law has days to live, we led him to the Lord. Thank you for your wisdom on how to be there for my mother-in-law.
It’s hard to help your significant other with this issue.
My best friend just lost his mom and it breaks my heart that he is so far from me. I thought I was being over bearing by constantly sending him messages and calling every 4 hours, because I didn't know what to do or know how to approach the lost of his mom. After watching this video it made me realise that I was doing the right thing. I just wish he was close to me. 😭😢 it's so painful. PLEASE help pray that my best friend is able to cope through this tough time. It won't be easy I just want to help him feel better.
Edit. If any have any extra advice to help me help him please leave it in the comment. I will appreciate it. Thank you.
I will pray for your friend
I'd like to share my best friend's story with you.
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
Tribute to Ethan Lakey
czcams.com/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/video.html
I deeply admire how you were able to use the message of God to teach how to be understanding and supportive. I always felt the teachings of Jesus can offer us a lot in how to foster empathy and be a positive source for others.
I'd like to share my best friend's story with you.
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
Tribute to Ethan Lakey
czcams.com/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/video.html
My boyfriend 's sister is terminally ill and at times i simply don't know how to comfort him since we are also in a LDR .I assumed he needed space.... but your advices were very helpful.
Thank you Allen, having experience the loss of my daughter has changed my world. She is the reason I want to make awareness of grief and depression. My faith has also been shaken to the core. I am making these youtube videos to educate as well because some people are trying to comfort but rather they ended up hurting us more those who are grieving.
I never stopped grievance for my nana Oct 1999
Brother Allen, thank you. I just lost my great grandmother. I feel terrible because I felt like I could have been around her more than I ever was. I am a new believer in Jesus and in God and I have been trying to get a better footing with our Lord. And this was a gut punch to me it felt like. I was and still am so sad but instead of it shaking my faith I prayed and thanked God for her on earth and for her to try and get me to know Jesus when I was younger (i was just too stubborn to listen then.) But even though I haven't seen my friends yet, hearing you say these things on comfort helps me sort out my mind. Thank you and God bless you man.
First I want to say bless you brother. Your video just helped me as my brother lost his dad this morning and I didn't know what to say but to just be present. On the way to his house to be with him I watched your video here and it helped me break out of my shell to be supportive in the best way I could. I thank the Most High God for you and thank you for helping me. Thank you so much.
Thank you Allen for this video. My brother lost his only son to drugs by accident on Aug. 23/2018, and the one year Anniversary is coming up, I was talking to him for the first time in a long time yesterday. He is in so much PAIN still and I just didn't know what to say to him. I cried with him on the phone. I just want to say THANKS for this and will call him more often to check on him. GOD BLESS YOU!!
My husband is the oldest of 3 boys, they just lost their mother 9 months ago. This past weekend my father in law visited and he confessed to me that he feels lonely and feels his sons don't fully understand what he is going through. I feel we are all grieving but it broke my heart that he feels that way. We don't visit him often because my husband works with my father in law but now I feel like I need to step up and be there for him.
Love It my Brother, as always great advice..... keep them coming
Dear Allen, this video and one other is PERFECT for a professional acquaintance of mine that has recently lost 14 family members and friends within recent months, including his sister that passed this week. Your videos are like little spoonfuls of love. Thank you, Rosemary
My best friend just lost her grandpa and I have no idea how to comfort her and I feel like I’m a bad friend because I don’t know what to do
Sarah Bryant I'm in the EXACT situation rn.....
I am also in same condition 😢
Just be there for her.💖 you aren't a bad friend.
yeah exactly me rn
Same
They just lost the love of someone. They need to know they are loved. When I lost my sister two years ago and it became just me now, love had vanished. The most wonderful, comfortable, healing, caring words anyone said was I love you. I melted my heart in a beautiful way each time. If those words were followed up by asking how they could help, I told them they just gave me the biggest help I needed by telling me I am loved.
This may not be the single most important thing to hear for a lot of people because they may already have a big support group of family who deeply love them and are holding them up. I was now all alone in life.
Later after the initial trauma, it was healing when coworkers or others who know me but not Nancy would ask things about her or ask me to share some memories. It helped validate her as a real person.
Nancy really held my heart. We lived together all but 11 of her 63 years. She had some mental handicaps. Nancy was very sweet and giving. After our parents died, I also became her legal guardian. From childhood I was her fierce guard and protector. The bottom fell out of my life.
I can thank God that I work in a hospice house with the best and most loving staff I have ever encountered. They have been my strongest support group. In addition to love, they understand how to work with people in grief.
This is an excellent video. I reached out to my friend right away.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you sooooo much for this!! God bless you bro!!! My friend has recently lost her father and this is a huge help!!
Absolutely helpful video. God bless brother
Extremely useful and needed in this time of grief. Thank you, and God bless.
Thank you. This is excellent advice.
Thank you that was so well said and a true blessing to me this morning praise you Jesus for the gift this man has delivered on your behalf
this is so powerful and an on time word to something I'm going through
Bless you for making this ❤
Thank you for this 🌷
I would like to add that sometimes when we are on the receiving end of grief, we are expecting others to reach out, show love, express empathy. But if we are honest, we may not always do that to others when they are in similar positions. Sometimes you just don’t know how to approach the issue and it comes off as insensitive or hurtful.
Sometimes we are afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing and do nothing at all. Sometimes we don’t realize until we go through the same circumstance or reflect on things with more clarity after time.
Pray that the Lord gives each wisdom in what and how to speak and more than doing or saying anything at all, being purely genuine in our love and compassion as Jesus is with us.
Thank you, this is helpful. This loss of my surrogate father, Papa, is the hardest loss I've ever had to deal with 😭. His loss is setting in with our Nana and my son who lived with him. I want to help them but realize they need to have their time to adjust now that the house is quiet, the funeral is over and people aren't in and out of the house all the time. They've asked everyone to give them space so I find myself praying for them even in the middle of the night. Now I see that this truly is the best help that they need right now 🙏💖🙏
@thebeat I really wish I had this support after my brother was killed in August. i got text messages saying they were sorry to hear the news but no one came to help me with my kids or nothing. thank God for my cousin but that was it.
it goes to show Christian expression looks different today than in the bible
Wow. I am SO sorry for your loss. That should not happen in the body of Christ. I apologize on behalf of them. People just don't seem to know how to respond which is what motivated me to share this video.
THE BEAT by Allen Parr thank you. Blessed are those who mourn. So I hold on tight to Christ. He gets me by. I forgive those ppl bc sometimes ppl just don't know any better. I feel positive I will meet some great True believers and servers of the Lord...in due time that would not allow this to happen.
SingPray Luv wow so sorry for your loss
I’m sorry to hear that. Same here. My “friend” called me once and that was it. Church “friends” didn’t reach out either after the first “I’m sorry for your loss.” Nothing after that. No phone call, no following up with me. It hurts to endure that but I’m ok.
I’m so glad I watched this video, my very close friend her grandpa died and I thought she wanted “space” so I didn’t really talk to her, but now I know I should
Thank you so much for this beautiful reminder. ❤️🥰 Do grateful I found your channel.
Thank you so much. My son just lost his best friend and i HONESTLY don't know how to console him. He is so devastated and I am so so sad seeing my wonderful child in this state.
This video is so helpful
I have just lost my son Nathaniel to a road accident. The loss is painful and agonising.
I empathize with all those in a situation like I m going through.
Your advice to deal with the pain is practical.
The most important thing one can do to lessen the pain, is to help the person with his daily chores, as a grieving person is both mentally and physically immobilised.
My girlfriend just lost her dad last month and since then it wasnt easy for her and until this day she is still grieving. I could tell you a lot has changed since her father died --- she dont reply much, it's very difficult to make her smile, she dont mind me as much etc. But as her boyfriend, Im doing my best to understand her situation.
I'll admit that I might have done some mistakes into trying to comfort her ( because this is the first time ive handled a situation like this ) but im doing better now than the first few weeks of her grieving. I don't really know when she'll be okay but I always message her everyday to let her know Im here for her.
I take her out if I have the chance --- just last week I took her to her dad's grave. It made her happy.
I'll be honest this part of the relationship isn't really easy ( especially for us because we're only on our 2nd month ) but I know in the end all of this is gonna be worth it. All we need is proper understanding for both individuals and of course patience.
@DreamyQueat Thanks for acknowleding my efforts but sad to say we broke up already. She can't handle the pressure of a relationship right now.
@@emmanpilapil53 I'm in this situation right now with my gf
I haven't lost anybody close to me yet, it's challenging trying not to say the wrong thing
It's my first time in this situation
@@Sammie551 All I can say is good luck man and avoid relationship talk. Try going to griefhealingdiscussions.com - there you could find thousands of stories similar to yours. It might help.
Keep safe.
Thank you so much, my boyfriend just loss his step mom and I've been staying strong for him as well! I've lost my grandparents as different from a step parent. This helped me, and prayers for everyone loosing a loved one as well! God Bless 🙏🏼💕
You have really blessed me today. Thank you.
Thank you for this advice. Very helpful and sensitive.
I just want you to know that this video is so helpful to me. I’m a technical person I don’t know how to express myself in a situation like this , so I thank you for your guidance it’s much appreciated.
I'd like to share my best friend's story with you.
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
Tribute to Ethan Lakey
czcams.com/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/video.html
My wife lost both her parents 6 months ago..I needed this video
I thank you so much brother... I'm trying to be a better listener and really never knew how to console anyone
Thank you brother you always prepare right videos.
Thank you! What you've said is very helpful.
My father is dying. I see him dying and getting worse day by day and it’s killing me inside. I’m so depressed. I’m such in darkness. I’m losing the only thing in life that I love and loves me unconditionally. I don’t know how to cope or live everyday life anymore. I need help so bad. I don’t know is it worth holding on anymore 😔
I’m so sorry to hear about that dear. Praying for strength and comfort for you dear, love and light to you✨✨
Thank You as each person is different at times like this.
I needed to hear this. Thank you.
Brilliant
Thank you for not leaving out God. See you in Heaven one day, good Saints 😇
My best friends mom just died and I was speechless and didn’t know what to say. She assumed that I didn’t care. I don’t know what to do
This is very helpful. Thanks Allen
This is good advice. When asking if there is anything you can do, bring up some ideas. Because we wouldn’t even know what to say.
Also I would like to add some things not to say or some suggestions...When I told my friend I missed my husband (he had just passed away 3 months before and we were married 51 years) she replied that I should get my mind off myself and think that he is in a much better place. And another friend that I called to tell her of my husband’s passing said when she answered the phone that “if your husband passed away, I don’t want to hear it”. I didn’t say anything. Or when my husband needed total care at home but still talked somewhat, could follow directions and smiled and people said that I was selfish for keeping him alive. People can be so cruel. So I like these videos because people need to know these things. I want to add something else. If your best friend that you had and they stood with you and helped you for over a decade becomes disabled, come and see them and don’t act like they don’t exist. They were there for you, you can come and show they have some value with your presence.
Im sorry you had to go thru this it was still fresh an you just wanted someone who understands you talk to him he will listen he sees they're words of encouragement an he know you have to turn the page on them let him give you light on your darkest days you are never alone walk with faith celebrate him every time you feel alone an may he watch over you in your most troubled times amen 🙏🏽
Thank you very much. God bless you my dear brother ☺
It was a hard pill to swallow, he's right about that statement about heaven.
You have no idea what type of person their loved one will truly was... Promising someone they'll see that particular family member in heaven is rolling the dice.
This was very helpful thank you 🙏🏾
Man I needed to hear this.
God bless you man 👍
My friend just lost her mum in a car accident, I’m not religious but she and her family are so this was a helpful video
Thanks for this, very appreciated during this corona virus pandemic
Nice one man! Short, to the point and real! Was trying to give my girlfriend space, now I realize that was a big bo-bo. Will try to listen more. Thanks homie
Perfectly explained !!!!!
ALL you said is soooooo true,God bless
Thanks. Really helpful.
It’s hard because I’m grieving the loss of my mom who passed 3 months ago. So is my sister...but she doesn’t reach out to me. Probably cause it’s too painful for her but I still feel lonely.
Thank you man of God
Thank you this really helped
Actually the one and only thing I care about at this point is that I can meet her again when I die.. No other thought can help me at this point or give any relief of the pain. We shouldn't never assume how the grieving person feels. Small words and showing you are there for them is enough.
Something good to say is; “once the tears are dried, all you are left with is good memories”.
Amazing content! Thank you SO much ^_^
Great advice .....thanx!
I love how our Lord was used in this video. I messed up with maybe talking to much. My friend it’s been 3 months his mom passed away. He is very quiet and not wanting to talk. I am just respecting his distance he wants to be alone. It’s hard
Thank you, very helpful
My best friend just lost her bf. She's just a few steps away from me but I haven't got the time to visit her. Planning to do it tomorrow and sending her a letter too. I'm usually a very closed person, I'm so awkward around people and mostly don't know what to say. But I really think she needs someone especially in this time and if her other friends are away, I'm the one who can be there for her physically. I'll try to be there for her and hug her❤
This is helpful!
Thank you!
Thankyou brother
My girlfriend lost her big brother & she’s distant like she’s not talking to me at all like no texts, no calls no nothing I just wanna be there for her
Im going through the same thing right now. I have no idea how to handle that as my boyfriend was my bestfriend...
howd it go?
I am in the same situation with my bf..how are you two? How s she been?
@@alexandrachirila1917 we broke up. Been 3 years now
Thank you.God bless you.
Thank you
To anyone who sees this wondering what to say to anyone who’s experiencing grief, never tell them “I’m sorry”. Instead tell them “I feel for you” or something
I don't have good social skills so this really helped me. x
Thanks so much
My fiance just lost his dad last Wednesday how can I be supportive of him and his mom he lives in NC I live in Massachusetts
thank you for this, my best friend’s cat recently died
Thank you 🥺
great video😊
thank you for making this video my bestfriend just lost her dad and she is only 12 any other things that i can so to help her?
Awesomeness 👌
God bless.
With the book of Job when his friends sat for 7 days didn't do no good. Their presence was not needed to me because when they finally did speak nothing came out their mouth positive. They had no discernment to know God was only testing Job and that he did nothing wrong. Even if they only prayed for his strength and encourage would have been great but they didn't.
I just lost a good friend. She recently gave her life to Jesus Christ and about two months later went home. It hurts that she went so soon but Im trying to focus enough to be a support to her family.
my mom died a month and a half ago . i scattered her ashes on her dads grave like she wanted . my wife of over 28yrs and 2 adult sons have not been to that site . they destroyed my heart and i have resentment . thank you for the video . i miss my momma bad. i am 52 and they should have supported me . i am never alone but i am always by myself .
One of my best friends just lost his mother this really helped
Me too
I'm watching this video because my grandfather died today and my mother is probably sad. I don't know how to comfort her. I lost a lot of relatives and people I see everyday but I still don't how she feels. I don't understand why people cry at funerals. I had issues with empathy since I was little. If I say something wrong, she will start yelling at me again. I see her everyday so It will be hard to comfort her 24/7. I don't know why I comment on this video. Have a nice day.
my friends aunt has a very low chance to live, so i made her some oragami of things she likes to try and make her feel better which i will give to her when i see her again, but i dont know what to say, so thanks for posting this :>
My brothers dad just passed and he has to plan out everything from the United States when he’s in Africa 🇬🇲
God bless you
This is a great tool for my team. Thanks Allen Parr