What we can learn from parents with disabilities | Marjorie Aunos | TEDxWesternU

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  • čas přidán 14. 06. 2023
  • Parenting is a tough landscape to navigate, and a newfound disability creates unique problems that require unique solutions. Dr. Marjorie Aunos is a psychologist conducting research on parenting with disabilities. Drawing from that research and from personal experience, Dr. Aunos explains why disabled parents are often the best source of parenting advice - because they have been forced to find solutions to fit complex needs quickly and effectively their whole lives.
    Marjorie Aunos, Ph.D. is a single-mother-by-choice living with a Spinal Cord Injury. She is a renowned Psychologist and researcher in the field of Parenting with Disabilities, an Award-Winning Inspirational Speaker and Author of Mom on Wheels: The Power of Purpose as a Parent with Paraplegia. She lives in Montreal, Canada. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Komentáře • 525

  • @Usyard
    @Usyard Před 7 měsíci +3

    Disabled parents are the ultimate example of human resilience and unconditional love. Kudos to all the Marjories in the world.

  • @MarcoPasqua
    @MarcoPasqua Před 11 měsíci +2

    "In a weird twist of fate, I had become the subject of my own life's work." - powerful words from Dr. Marjorie Aunos. A moving TED talk that shows us what is possible with the right mindset and determination!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 11 měsíci

      100% - the right mindset accounts for a lot!!

    • @lilygrander
      @lilygrander Před 11 měsíci +1

      Absolutely. Not gona lie I teared up at that but the way she has persevered is so admirable.

    • @damianreed1959
      @damianreed1959 Před 9 měsíci

      Honestly it gave me chills

  • @sagehavenassociates
    @sagehavenassociates Před 11 měsíci +4

    One of the best Ted Talks I've seen! Dr. Aunos's unique perspective as a disability researcher and disabled parent is priceless. Her message extends beyond what nondisabled parents can learn; it has enormous implications for the child welfare system! Children are removed from disabled parents at a rate greater than any other minority, not because of abuse or neglect but because of a lack of understanding and support. It's time to be solution-focused and stop overburdening our child welfare system with kids that don't need to be there!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 11 měsíci

      So well said!!!

    • @lilygrander
      @lilygrander Před 11 měsíci +1

      100% I was shocked when I saw how often it is for the children to be taken away, does not seem right by any means.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 11 měsíci

      It isn’t right!! Especially since for most there is no concrete facts that explain the removal of the children.

    • @moanaoloha
      @moanaoloha Před 3 měsíci

      Oh wow I had no idea that they took children away from disabled parents, that's so awfuI

  • @user-mm5dt6us5i
    @user-mm5dt6us5i Před 11 měsíci +6

    A must watch Tedtalk for every parent, disabled or not. Speaking from knowledge and experience. Eye opening. We have so much to learn from each other. What a journey! What a woman!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 11 měsíci +1

      Agreed! So much to learn from one another!

  • @ezekielaliss
    @ezekielaliss Před 4 měsíci +1

    The small triumphs you shared, like the tower-building moment, are precious. It's those everyday victories that make parenting a beautiful tapestry of memories.

  • @americapatton9266
    @americapatton9266 Před 7 měsíci +2

    Thank you. Sending a warm salute to all of the mothers who are holding it down in so many ways. 🙂💯✏️🎺📜📚

  • @user-eh4kz6jy8s
    @user-eh4kz6jy8s Před 11 měsíci +5

    An important and inspirational TedTalk from a professional researcher in the field of disability and loving parent. Marjorie's talk is eye-opening and her talent in storytelling is apparent. I had goosebumps at many times throughout her story, especially when she shared the poignant example that being able to attend to her son's hockey game was more important at the time, than trying to solve the colossal problem of universal accessibility. Marjorie's solution-focused approach to supporting parents with disabilities is highly deserving of attention, at a time in society where we are finally recognizing the rights of persons with disabilties to found families and parent their children. The world needs to hear from many more voices like Marjorie's.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 11 měsíci +2

      ❤ Thank you!! I am so glad you think this talk can impact further change!!!

  • @camilaanders3419
    @camilaanders3419 Před 3 měsíci +1

    The fear of facing the injustices that parents with disabilities often encounter is palpable. It raises critical questions about societal biases and the urgent need for more understanding and support.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 3 měsíci

      Yes! We need to reflect on our collective hidden biases and do better!

  • @fantastic.shoppingaddict
    @fantastic.shoppingaddict Před 9 měsíci +1

    This talk left me in awe! Disabled parents redefine the playbook, turning life's curveballs into strikingly beautiful parenting moments.

  • @rmmuskeet3831
    @rmmuskeet3831 Před 10 měsíci +2

    I always relied on expert advice and books for parenting, but this talk made me realize that sometimes the best solutions come from parents themselves. Disabled parents have a unique perspective and can teach us valuable lessons.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 10 měsíci

      Thank you! I am happy my talk helped you see a different perspective! ☺️

    • @AlienCruise
      @AlienCruise Před 9 měsíci +1

      Yup, who'd have thought someone with lived experience would be such a great source of knowledge? 🙄🙄

    • @damianreed1959
      @damianreed1959 Před 9 měsíci

      @@AlienCruise Seems rude.

    • @bigfatfather
      @bigfatfather Před 3 měsíci

      @@damianreed1959 I think that's how they meant it to be

    • @bigfatfather
      @bigfatfather Před 3 měsíci

      It's a weird comment because you'd think those experts are also parents themselves

  • @charlottewebbnotthebook
    @charlottewebbnotthebook Před 10 měsíci +1

    Being a parent is tough, but being a disabled parent takes it to a whole new level. Kudos to those who overcome those odds.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 10 měsíci

      Thank you 🙏 We do our best!!

    • @morgannfields
      @morgannfields Před 9 měsíci

      Being a parent shouldn't be tough though, disabled or not. A challenge, sure. But not tough.

  • @pennyhooker
    @pennyhooker Před 4 měsíci +1

    Parenting can be as much about navigating emotions as it is about solving problems, and it is incredible at times how much being a parent opens you up, emotionally.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 4 měsíci

      Definitely! Parenting pushes us to our limits and forces us to learn and master a lot of skills we thought we knew already 😮

  • @harmonyhadley5216
    @harmonyhadley5216 Před 4 měsíci +1

    Thomas' non-verbal communication, throwing the block and watching your response, is a powerful moment. Kids are so much more aware than we give them credit for at young ages

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 4 měsíci

      They are!!! When my nephew turned 2 yo (a few years after my accident), him and I had already bonded. And him and I had found ways TOGETHER to do things with what him and I were capable of doing. We figured out a way for him to get into a high chair - using what he could do, with what I could do, and my directions. That is how we parent: with our kids adjusting to what we can do and what they learned to do. And we grow as a unit.

    • @bigfatfather
      @bigfatfather Před 3 měsíci

      Absolutely. The way they respond to their environment is always so interesting

    • @moanaoloha
      @moanaoloha Před 3 měsíci

      Definitely, it almost sounded like he was trying to test her

  • @StarfireStarleena
    @StarfireStarleena Před 11 měsíci +5

    When faced with a challenge, she didn't dwell on the problem but focused on finding creative solutions. That's a valuable mindset for all parents. Thank you Marjorie!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 10 měsíci

      Thank you so much ☺️ 🙏

    • @badkarma2005
      @badkarma2005 Před 9 měsíci +1

      I think that's a valuable mindset for anyone, not just a parent.

    • @badkarma2005
      @badkarma2005 Před 9 měsíci +2

      Very little good comes from fixating on the problem

    • @DashiellAskin
      @DashiellAskin Před 9 měsíci +2

      Yes, I'm so impressed by her!!

    • @elliotnesster
      @elliotnesster Před 9 měsíci

      This is a good point@@badkarma2005

  • @patrickspringer9912
    @patrickspringer9912 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Thank you Marjorie for standing up, while sitting down, for the rights and perspective of parents with a disability!

  • @amagodatfortnite
    @amagodatfortnite Před 9 měsíci +1

    Hold the phone! Disabled parents aren't just parenting; they're masterfully crafting life's challenges into heartwarming victories.

  • @dudley4318
    @dudley4318 Před 10 měsíci +1

    It's incredible to see a parent with a disability defend their PhD thesis and then become a single mom by choice. Talk about determination!

  • @notthatoneorthoseones
    @notthatoneorthoseones Před 6 měsíci +1

    Her honesty about doubting herself after her accident is so relatable, it shows that even the strongest individuals can have moments of uncertainty, and more importantly, that it's okay.

    • @nubblesleopard9735
      @nubblesleopard9735 Před 6 měsíci

      Absolutely and that it's totally normal to be a little scared when things have changed so much

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 6 měsíci

      So true! Embrace vulnerability and you will see how many can relate!

    • @harrisonstenson8324
      @harrisonstenson8324 Před 5 měsíci

      Absolutely, it's so important to be honest about that stuff

    • @cyruslandon
      @cyruslandon Před 5 měsíci

      Yeah that definitely made her so endearing and relatable

    • @thomas-meyer
      @thomas-meyer Před 4 měsíci

      Honestly it was a relief to hear this. I feel like I'm constantly doubting myself so it was nice to hear that other people go through this as well

  • @conradthelegendwhite
    @conradthelegendwhite Před 3 měsíci +1

    The internal conflict you describe, being at odds with your own research and beliefs, is a powerful narrative. It speaks to the complex journey of reconciling theory with personal experience.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 3 měsíci

      100% I never thought personal experience could inform research this much - but it does. It also speaks to the importance of having people with lived experiences as co-researchers!

  • @bethtarleton4696
    @bethtarleton4696 Před 11 měsíci +2

    An inspirational talk from the internationally known researcher Marjorie Aunos. We can all learn from this brilliant talk. We all need to be solution focused and learn from disabled parents

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 11 měsíci

      So glad you liked it and think so!!!

    • @jordanbaslier
      @jordanbaslier Před 6 měsíci

      Yeah I think being solution focused is a great mindset for anyone to have!

  • @heatherleighsunaoka9524
    @heatherleighsunaoka9524 Před 5 měsíci +1

    I’m a single mother with limited sight and I always put my daughter in squeaky shoes. They were helpful for me and fun for her. Now, at 11 years old, my daughter pays me on the arm regularly and says, “Mama, I’m over here.” Having limited sight has brought us super close and has made her more compassionate to the people around her.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 5 měsíci

      That is exactly what I am talking about!!! Thank you so much for sharing ❤

    • @johnathanbrayton
      @johnathanbrayton Před 5 měsíci +1

      This is a really lovely story 💜

  • @shirleytross
    @shirleytross Před 4 měsíci +1

    Parenting is undoubtedly a challenging journey, and your insight into the struggle to find answers is relatable. It's a reminder that, regardless of ability, every parent faces uncertainties.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 4 měsíci

      Exactly and we can all find ourselves in a situation where we need to adapt and find solutions to new problems we are encountering!

  • @thomas-meyer
    @thomas-meyer Před 4 měsíci +1

    Your honesty about facing self-doubt is incredibly relatable. It's a powerful reminder that, as parents, we grapple with our own expectations and fears, especially when faced with unexpected challenges

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 4 měsíci

      And parenting does bring up interesting challenges! 😂

    • @thomas-meyer
      @thomas-meyer Před 4 měsíci +1

      many yes...@@MarjorieAunos

  • @DrMargaretRutherford
    @DrMargaretRutherford Před 5 měsíci +1

    Marjorie your message is one that every parent needs to hear. Instead of getting lost in the why, take that moment to create and act - and you'll find a solution and hope. Your humility and courage shine through your words.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 5 měsíci

      Thank you so very much 😊 I also believe this is a message for all parents and truly for everyone. In getting stuck into the why… we sometimes miss out on what is happening right now. This is precious time and precious opportunities to turn simple moments into beautiful memories and stepping stones for our kids / younger generation to build on their future! 💕

  • @daniizzie
    @daniizzie Před 11 měsíci +1

    "There would be rules that we would need to reinvent, or figure out on our own." As a fellow mom who uses a wheelchair and lives with quadriplegia, I am so grateful that Marjorie has a platform to reveal the pragmatism demonstrated by so many disabled parents, while cutting through the myths and confusion around our perceived competence. Thanks for making us feel seen!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 11 měsíci

      We have the ability to empower each other’s voices and that is an incredible strength!! Watching your documentary Dani’s Twins has made me feel seen too and validated my experience!! ❤

  • @user-ou7ex1oo1l
    @user-ou7ex1oo1l Před 11 měsíci +2

    I love this TedTalk! Filled with life experience and authority in the 'knowing', coupled with professional knowledge and experience. An incredible woman who has found her voice to speak to all of us about parenting, bias, prejudice, discrimination, empowerment, success, achievement and ultimate love. A MUST WATCH!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 11 měsíci

      I did find my Voice - after thinking I had lost it for so long. Me accepting my disability gave me a megaphone I can use to fight for the Rights of others!

  • @Chatzapper
    @Chatzapper Před 7 měsíci +1

    embrace the strengths and creativity of disabled parents. all for it.

  • @caro.7487
    @caro.7487 Před 9 měsíci +2

    I can't even begin to imagine what Marjorie went through. Her strength and determination are truly admirable. I'm inspired to approach parenting with a more positive and solution-focused mindset.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 9 měsíci

      Thank you ☺️ I am happy the talk is shifting your perspective!

    • @jordanbaslier
      @jordanbaslier Před 6 měsíci

      That's awesome.

  • @helenimnotready
    @helenimnotready Před 9 měsíci +1

    Through each story, I'm reminded that love knows no bounds and the wisdom of generations can guide us through any challenge.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 9 měsíci

      Love is such a powerful force 💕 Certainly one thing I discovered in through my journey!!

    • @damianreed1959
      @damianreed1959 Před 9 měsíci +1

      This is a really nice sentiment.

  • @erikdangor
    @erikdangor Před 7 měsíci +1

    My sister is a disabled single mum, thanks for speaking for her... bless you

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 7 měsíci

      This… is the BEST comment ever!!! Thank you for being a cheerleader for your sister!!

  • @CelestialCentric
    @CelestialCentric Před 10 měsíci +2

    The moment she shared her personal story, my heart went out to her. They've faced unimaginable challenges with grace and strength.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 10 měsíci

      Thank you so much ☺️

    • @evan-bailey
      @evan-bailey Před 9 měsíci +1

      Yes, and they're continuing to find great solutions to everyday problems that shouldn't be an issue.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 8 měsíci

      @@evan-bailey so true - some of these things should be a given. Being a Barrier-Free Society is what we should thrive forward!

    • @oakleysienna
      @oakleysienna Před 6 měsíci

      @@evan-bailey It really speaks volumes about her strength of character

  • @nubblesleopard9735
    @nubblesleopard9735 Před 6 měsíci +1

    The way you describe your interaction with Thomas under the table is heartwarming. It's those small, creative solutions that make parenting so beautiful and unique for every family. ❤

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 6 měsíci

      So agreed!!! I love that story of him and I ❤

  • @IShotSmiley
    @IShotSmiley Před 4 měsíci +1

    The collaborative approach you highlighted, where parents support each other, is heartening. It speaks to the power of community in parenting.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 4 měsíci

      There is definitely a big plus in having a community around families!!

  • @dianalorenaarevalosuarez
    @dianalorenaarevalosuarez Před 4 měsíci +1

    The idea that creative parenting solutions often stem from personal experiences rather than expert advice is intriguing. It underlines the importance of personal narratives in shaping effective parenting strategies.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 4 měsíci

      It gives back some power to parents. We can learn from one another and apply the strategies we feel fit more our own lifestyle!

  • @rachelgolding905
    @rachelgolding905 Před 11 měsíci +2

    You have always been inspiring Dr Aunos - when parenting with a disability was theoretical, and when it became your practical reality. I admire your work, your tenacity. And I am so proud to call you a colleague and friend. Don't ever lose your passion for this field - we have so much to learn from you.

  • @jycintabrown
    @jycintabrown Před 9 měsíci +1

    Disabled parents brew a special blend of resilience and adaptability, serving up life's challenges with a side of strong determination.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 9 měsíci

      We struggle too but we do learn to adapt quickly!

  • @rooseveltmartens9918
    @rooseveltmartens9918 Před 11 měsíci +2

    Disabled or not, if you WANT children and have unconditional love for them as an individual and unwavering patience, that's what makes for the best parents!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 10 měsíci

      Patience is definitely a skill all parents need to learn 😃

    • @dudley4318
      @dudley4318 Před 10 měsíci +1

      I never realized how lacking I was in patience until I became a parent.

  • @coreykansasbell
    @coreykansasbell Před 6 měsíci +1

    Your message about not judging parents too harshly resonates. We could all benefit from looking for the unique solutions each parent brings to the table. Let's celebrate diversity in parenting!

    • @nubblesleopard9735
      @nubblesleopard9735 Před 6 měsíci +1

      Absolutely, everyone's just trying to be the best they can, especially for their kids

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 6 měsíci

      Yes!!! Let’s celebrate diversity in parenting!! 🎉

  • @verapatrizio
    @verapatrizio Před 8 měsíci +2

    I think it's important to acknowledge that not all solutions work for everyone. Each family's dynamics are unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all answer.

    • @iamnotsomagicmike
      @iamnotsomagicmike Před 8 měsíci +1

      Yes but I think it would be fairly easy to apply Marjories advice to most family situations?

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 8 měsíci +1

      TOTALLY!! 👍

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 8 měsíci +1

      @@iamnotsomagicmikeyes - the process would be the same even if the particular solutions were to be different.

    • @iamnotsomagicmike
      @iamnotsomagicmike Před 8 měsíci +1

      @@MarjorieAunos 😄makes a lot of sense!

  • @michaelhunt635
    @michaelhunt635 Před 9 měsíci +1

    Realizing that it's okay not to have all the answers, and embracing creative solutions - a lesson in parenting, and life.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 9 měsíci

      Realising that we don’t always have the answers- thus the importance of sharing our strategies with one another !!

  • @thesugarshackishere
    @thesugarshackishere Před 4 měsíci +1

    The emotional journey you described is something many parents can relate to... while problem solving is a huge part of the journey there are lots of other parts to it as well.

  • @harrisonstenson8324
    @harrisonstenson8324 Před 5 měsíci +1

    Being a parent already made me grow in such amazing ways in terms of how I view the world and how I behave when there's a problem, hearing this talk has added a deeper dimension to that understanding. Thank you.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 5 měsíci

      Parenting definitely leads to some growth!! I am happy this talk led you to reflect on it!

  • @BeenFoundTwice
    @BeenFoundTwice Před 5 měsíci +1

    I think her call to focus on what parents with disabilities have, rather than what they lack, is an amazing mindset to have and could be used on pretty much everyone.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 5 měsíci

      Where we focus is where we end up! Focusing on solutions and on strengths gives us tools we can work on to achieve our goals and dreams!

    • @johnathanbrayton
      @johnathanbrayton Před 5 měsíci +1

      Absolutely, it's a really interesting mindset and makes a lot of sense. Why bother lamenting what you don't have when you can just utilize what _is_ available to you

    • @harrisonstenson8324
      @harrisonstenson8324 Před 5 měsíci

      This is a good point. If more people could think like this it would be such a positive shift

    • @pennyhooker
      @pennyhooker Před 4 měsíci

      💯💯💯💯💯💯

  • @user-lc7fg9ec7u
    @user-lc7fg9ec7u Před 11 měsíci +2

    Inspirational TED talk! Society needs communicators like you to make a difference. The reality of parents with disabilities is important to me and I love how you approach the subject.

  • @davidhanson8232
    @davidhanson8232 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Creative problem solving is a valuable quality for any person to have.

  • @SpeakerSlam
    @SpeakerSlam Před 11 měsíci +3

    We are so proud of you Marjorie!!! What a journey to witness, when's your movie coming out next? ;) - Dan Shaikh

  • @theoscarnunez
    @theoscarnunez Před 8 měsíci +1

    Marjorie makes a valid point that not even "the experts" can agree on the advice they give to able bodied parents. How daunting for disabled parents.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 7 měsíci

      And I would argue that how we conceptualise parenting does take into consideration the reality of disabled parents.

  • @novalesterson
    @novalesterson Před 9 měsíci +1

    In the realm of parenting, solutions are the brushstrokes that paint the canvas of progress. A thought-provoking perspective indeed.

  • @moneymaker324
    @moneymaker324 Před 5 měsíci +1

    I'm so impressed by the creative solutions you and other disabled parents have found. It's good to know that sometimes the most unconventional approaches bring the greatest success.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 5 měsíci

      It is sometimes about finding the most workable solution for right now 😊

    • @thomas-meyer
      @thomas-meyer Před 4 měsíci

      yes same! very impressive

  • @braydenteagan5572
    @braydenteagan5572 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Your assertion that useful parenting solutions come from parents with disabilities is empowering. It challenges the stereotype and emphasizes the strength and creativity within the disabled parenting community.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 3 měsíci

      Yes! That is what I wanted to do with this talk. To switch back the narrative and empower people/parents with disabilities. To remind people that different perspectives is an asset, not a liability and that we all have something to learn from each other!! 😃

  • @MelindaDadamo-kt8ws
    @MelindaDadamo-kt8ws Před 11 měsíci +1

    Marjorie Aunos is an exceptional human being. What an inspirational talk! This woman has a gift and she is changing the world. 💎

  • @pengzhou6952
    @pengzhou6952 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Self-reflection on our internal struggles is important, something we should all do without harsh judgement of ourselves.

  • @moanaoloha
    @moanaoloha Před 4 měsíci +1

    Oh wow...Her energy alone is mind blowing, talk about making the best of a terrible situation, and teaching and inspiring along the way. Amazing!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 4 měsíci

      Thank you!!! I am passionate about talking about this 😂 I wish people could see how persons with disabilities can contribute to society and make great parents!

    • @pennyhooker
      @pennyhooker Před 4 měsíci

      Absolutely, it shines through in this

    • @moanaoloha
      @moanaoloha Před 3 měsíci

      @@MarjorieAunos Well the more people like you out here absolutely proving it the more that will start to happen!

  • @latarasoff
    @latarasoff Před 11 měsíci +2

    Thank you for sharing your story - I never tire of hearing it Marjorie - and for all of the important work you do to support parents with disabilities!

  • @nyokakilemake2178
    @nyokakilemake2178 Před 10 měsíci +1

    I never considered the struggles disabled parents face until I watched this. It's essential to recognize the strengths, resilience, and the valuable lessons that can be taught here.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 10 měsíci

      Thank you so much!! We all have our own struggles and capacity to thrive - we just need as a Society to be inclusive to all!

    • @AlienCruise
      @AlienCruise Před 9 měsíci

      I think it'd be a little strange if you just spent your spare time thinking about disabled peoples struggles, right?

    • @AlienCruise
      @AlienCruise Před 9 měsíci

      Good to be aware of it though I guess. Conscientious and all....

  • @user-qq3dr3dc7q
    @user-qq3dr3dc7q Před 11 měsíci +3

    Fantastic job, Marjorie! A critical perspective for everyone, especially for those working with children and families.

  • @johnathanbrayton
    @johnathanbrayton Před 5 měsíci +1

    Wow it's talks like these that make me so grateful for TEDx as a platform.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 5 měsíci

      Love TEDx platform too!!

    • @pennyhooker
      @pennyhooker Před 4 měsíci

      Same! Such an amazing source of information

  • @erintaylor9915
    @erintaylor9915 Před 11 měsíci +3

    Thank you, Marjorie, for sharing this powerful message with the world. Sharing your personal story, along with your professional career, helps us all to consider our ableism and internalized ableism. You discuss so many topics that are needed to be had. Disabled parents make good parents; conversations like this help break down the stigma and discrimination of disabled people's parenting-a must-video to share.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 11 měsíci

      Thank you Erin! You hit it about me speaking on Ableism!!

  • @elliotnesster
    @elliotnesster Před 9 měsíci +1

    There is such importance in the inclusivity and understanding. Instead of judging disabled parents, let's appreciate their unique perspectives and learn from their experiences.

  • @elizahull
    @elizahull Před 11 měsíci +2

    Thank you!!! You’re such an incredible advocate.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 11 měsíci

      Thank you Eliza! I can say the same about you!

  • @ularesser
    @ularesser Před 3 měsíci +1

    Sometimes the best way to approach a difficult situation is to just go straight through it. There's no amount of theorizing or researching or learning from others. You just have to feel it out and follow your gut

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 3 měsíci

      This is what solution finding is. Just finding a way to get through it.

  • @gabekilljoy
    @gabekilljoy Před 5 měsíci +1

    I appreciate what she's saying about solutions not problems but sometimes issues are complex and the only way to work through something is to understand it.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 5 měsíci

      I think there are two steps: what happens / what I can do now AND how can I fix later so that it doesn’t happen again. Both are necessary.

    • @johnathanbrayton
      @johnathanbrayton Před 5 měsíci

      @@MarjorieAunos Absolutely, especially the fixing it so it doesn't happen again part.

    • @cyruslandon
      @cyruslandon Před 5 měsíci

      Sometimes you don't have time to go through all of that though.

  • @charliechapgould
    @charliechapgould Před 4 měsíci +1

    This is a great example of how the only thing we have control over is our responses to things.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 4 měsíci

      Exactly: we choose how we react and where we want to pay attention!

    • @pennyhooker
      @pennyhooker Před 4 měsíci +1

      This is an incredible point and something I think a lot of people fail to understand

    • @thomas-meyer
      @thomas-meyer Před 4 měsíci

      Okay that is surprisingly poignant for a youtube comment section

    • @charliechapgould
      @charliechapgould Před 4 měsíci

      well, thanks@@thomas-meyer

  • @girlontopoftheworld
    @girlontopoftheworld Před 8 měsíci +1

    In my opinion, it's essential to support parents with disabilities while also advocating for broader societal changes that facilitate their parenting journey.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 8 měsíci

      Totally agree!!! There are many areas in Society that we should work to remove barriers that disabled parents face!

  • @andididntknow
    @andididntknow Před 5 měsíci +1

    This is so amazing, I feel like her work before becoming disabled put her in such a good position to have a really positive perspective on what disabled parents can achieve.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 5 měsíci

      Both perspectives really help one another and impact both my research and my life!

    • @johnathanbrayton
      @johnathanbrayton Před 5 měsíci

      This is a great point! Talk about practicing what you preach...

  • @pascaldegarde6756
    @pascaldegarde6756 Před 10 měsíci +1

    Disabled parents exemplify resilience and adaptability. We can all learn valuable lessons from their experiences.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 10 měsíci

      I agree! And feel we can all learn something from someone else ☺️

  • @carstenberns7104
    @carstenberns7104 Před 5 měsíci +1

    Your call for inclusivity and understanding in how we perceive parents, especially those with disabilities, is a message worth amplifying. It's about celebrating differences.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 5 měsíci

      It is exactly that: celebrating differences and seeing how everyone brings value!

  • @valarchavez
    @valarchavez Před 9 měsíci +1

    Life's a journey, and disabled parents prove that even on rugged paths, determination and a sprinkle of humor can guide us through

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 9 měsíci

      I couldnt agree more! Having a loving support system also helps a great deal ☺️

  • @geemaleishere
    @geemaleishere Před 10 měsíci +1

    You know what's funny? The billion-dollar parenting industry with its endless books and experts, and yet the most valuable insights are RIGHT HERE! Thank you Majorie!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 10 měsíci

      Thank you so so much !! I have learnt so much for parents with disabilities and from becoming disabled myself!! Some incredible valuable lessons!!

    • @AlienCruise
      @AlienCruise Před 9 měsíci

      How is that funny? Is this person not also part of the billion-dollar parenting industry?

  • @franhustard
    @franhustard Před 11 měsíci +1

    I never considered how accessibility affects parenting until now. We need to create inclusive environments for all parents and their children

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 11 měsíci

      Yes!! 100% building inclusive spaces is a must for families!

    • @bestpractice4040
      @bestpractice4040 Před 11 měsíci +1

      We need to create inclusive environments for all differently abled people - not just those with children.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 11 měsíci

      @@bestpractice4040 100%!!

  • @poopietaker
    @poopietaker Před 7 měsíci +1

    Interesting that Majorie's PHD was on Mothers with a disability and then she became disabled. Her focus for years was being a disabled mother and metaphysics asserts that where your focus goes your energy goes.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 7 měsíci

      Where your focus goes, your energy goes! 100%

  • @oakleysienna
    @oakleysienna Před 6 měsíci +1

    This is a reminder of just how many unexpected twists life holds and she has handled this one with such grace.

    • @tomdashwood9578
      @tomdashwood9578 Před 6 měsíci +1

      That's very true, you never know what's around the corner.

    • @jordanbaslier
      @jordanbaslier Před 6 měsíci +1

      Yeah it's such a wild story!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 6 měsíci

      Thank you ☺️

    • @cyruslandon
      @cyruslandon Před 5 měsíci

      Yeah this definitely struck me as I was listening to her like wow

  • @ErinField
    @ErinField Před 11 měsíci +2

    Love this so much!!! Thank you! I'm a quadriplegic that wants kids so I really appreciate this❤

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 11 měsíci

      Awesome!! You can become whomever you want to become!!

  • @dannyordtil
    @dannyordtil Před 4 měsíci +1

    The critique of expert advice is thought-provoking. It's true, the vast array of conflicting opinions in the parenting industry can leave us all a bit bewildered. Your emphasis on real-life solutions is refreshing.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 4 měsíci

      Everyone has an opinion on everyone’s parenting and sometimes that makes them believe they are experts. But parenting is complex and so simple at the same time. 😂 Do the best for your children 💕

  • @tomdashwood9578
    @tomdashwood9578 Před 6 měsíci +1

    I think her resilience is so commendable!

  • @lynnecousins
    @lynnecousins Před 8 měsíci +1

    I really appreciate this talk Marjorie. I feel like disabled parents often carry an extra burden of having to constantly prove themselves. Content like this goes a long way to address the fact that they are completely capable, and shouldn't have to prove themselves to anyone.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 8 měsíci

      Thank you 🙏

    • @iamnotsomagicmike
      @iamnotsomagicmike Před 8 měsíci +1

      This is a really amazing point... I hadn't been thinking of this talk in terms of disabled people "proving" themselves, but I'd also never thought about how there might be the pressure for them to do that in the first place

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 8 měsíci

      @@iamnotsomagicmike we know in research there is an over representation of disabled parents in child welfare procedures without any evidence of neglect or abuse. Ableist preconceptions often puts us in a position where we have to prove ourselves. Sadly.

  • @tammybachrach6733
    @tammybachrach6733 Před 9 měsíci +1

    I appreciate Dr. Aunos' perspective on solution driven problem solving and valuing the knowledge that is available through parents themselves.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 9 měsíci

      Thank you so much Dr Bachrach! Coming from you it is an incredible compliment! Your input and unique perspective is always one I am interested in!!

    • @AlienCruise
      @AlienCruise Před 9 měsíci +1

      I agree though I do think "solution driven problem solving" is a lot of extra words for nothing

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 9 měsíci

      @@AlienCruise It is to highlight a different perspective/mindset. Finding what we need to do to make it work.

    • @AlienCruise
      @AlienCruise Před 9 měsíci

      @@MarjorieAunos I just mean, what other kind of problem solving is there?

    • @DashiellAskin
      @DashiellAskin Před 9 měsíci +1

      @@AlienCruise I think she is just trying to emphasize the point?

  • @alyhdickinson
    @alyhdickinson Před 8 měsíci +1

    This is so inspiring Marjorie, both for people with disabilities and people who are overwhelmed by how many issues they're going to need to navigate when raising little people.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 8 měsíci

      Yes, being solution focused is helpful for many folks!!

    • @iamnotsomagicmike
      @iamnotsomagicmike Před 8 měsíci +1

      I agree, very good practical advice here.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 8 měsíci

      @@iamnotsomagicmike Thank you so much ☺️

  • @aubreyzwayse
    @aubreyzwayse Před 5 měsíci +1

    I think so much of parenthood is about facing the unexpected and learning to adapt within it to bring about the best possible outcomes. So it makes sense that people who spend so much of their lives doing this anyway can teach us a thing or two!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 5 měsíci

      Parenthood definitely forces us to adapt !

  • @veroniquegirodias8370
    @veroniquegirodias8370 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Quelle présence, quelle éloquence, quelle vérité! Merci de nous ouvrir les yeux sur comment la différence de l'autre nous enrichit!

  • @nelwashington
    @nelwashington Před 8 měsíci +1

    I'm not entirely convinced that every parenting challenge can be solved solely through creativity and adaptability.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 8 měsíci

      It doesn’t take away the need to advocate so our common spaces are more inclusive and the need for services and policies that tailor to the needs of parents with disabilities (we know there are gaps). But those take time - and in the mean time I need to do “something”. And sometimes, you are right, when there are no or limited resources, I can’t find a solution in time. That happens and when it does - it is very frustrating!

  • @sophiachandler4662
    @sophiachandler4662 Před 8 měsíci +2

    I think it's worth discussing how systemic barriers affect disabled parents' access to resources and opportunities, which can impact solution-oriented thinking.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 8 měsíci

      Yes!!! So many systemic barriers and attitudinal ones are the hardest to fight. I got too many examples of those… the most common: disabled parents are not capable (cause it looks different).

  • @alberteshoeinfine
    @alberteshoeinfine Před 5 měsíci +1

    The struggles you shared are universal in the parenting experience. Your openness adds a valuable layer for all of us I think. Being vulnerable and real about all of it is very difficult either way and you have already taught me alot. thank you

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 5 měsíci

      Thank you! Sharing or rather lending my voice gives my journey purpose! I want people to know about parents with disabilities!

  • @williammathews1648
    @williammathews1648 Před 6 měsíci +1

    It's fascinating to see the shift from a problem-focused mindset to a solution-focused one.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 6 měsíci

      It is all about following through to our priorities in life ☺️

    • @raejenson
      @raejenson Před 6 měsíci +1

      Yeah I found that really interesting as well!

    • @tomdashwood9578
      @tomdashwood9578 Před 6 měsíci +1

      Yes, and it's amazing how much more effective it is

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 6 měsíci

      I found it less frustrating and so my focus is not sidetracked by my emotions in the moment and I am better equipped to see what could work. And it doesn’t take away from my resolve to make more important and lasting changes afterwards!

    • @harrisonstenson8324
      @harrisonstenson8324 Před 5 měsíci

      It's pretty heartening to hear how much it works

  • @lincolnmessier1840
    @lincolnmessier1840 Před 7 měsíci +1

    Clearly the take home message is to focus our attention on finding the solution not being fixated on the problem.

  • @DashiellAskin
    @DashiellAskin Před 9 měsíci +1

    I use to think having a disability and parenting would be like a constant battle but this definitely changed my mind. I am so fascinated with this out of the box thinking style!

    • @elliotnesster
      @elliotnesster Před 9 měsíci +1

      There is a lot of merit to it and Marjorie is a real testament

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 9 měsíci

      It also blew my mind when I realised that this is what every parent with a disability I met were doing! Because of lack of accessibility- we found ways to make it work for ourselves!

    • @morgannfields
      @morgannfields Před 9 měsíci +1

      @@MarjorieAunos That is really cool!

    • @morgannfields
      @morgannfields Před 9 měsíci +1

      It is really interesting! I've seen a few talks from disabled people that really challenge the standard narrative and it's so cool

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 8 měsíci

      @@morgannfieldsThank you! And I agree: we should hear more about people with disabilities. It should be favored and encouraged and valued!

  • @hughshotton8920
    @hughshotton8920 Před 5 měsíci +1

    Your story reflects a remarkable personal growth journey. It's incredible how becoming a parent can uncover strengths we never knew we had

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 5 měsíci

      💯 😊

    • @harrisonstenson8324
      @harrisonstenson8324 Před 5 měsíci

      Yes! I'm surprised by how much it changed me

    • @pennyhooker
      @pennyhooker Před 4 měsíci

      I know what you mean!! I thought I was already a whole person, then I had kids and woww haha

    • @thomas-meyer
      @thomas-meyer Před 4 měsíci

      Yes and at the same time it shines a spotlight on our weaknesses

  • @johnsonconnors4556
    @johnsonconnors4556 Před 10 měsíci +1

    You are an amazing parent!!! How long until you invent a jet-powered stroller or maybe a robotic arm to catch those pesky flying blocks. The possibilities are endless! This was great!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 10 měsíci

      Thank you so much!! Love the creativity 😂 so much research is being done in robotics, I am sure someone will invent something with that purpose in mind 😉

  • @mymotivationsnow
    @mymotivationsnow Před 10 měsíci +1

    I really had no idea until I watched this talk... It's crucial to shift our focus from problems to solutions, just like disabled parents do. This mindset can benefit all parents in finding effective parenting strategies.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 10 měsíci

      Focusing on the solutions help get to where we need to go! It made the whole difference for me as a parent and it helped me focus on what I could do for myself which is so important!!

    • @badkarma2005
      @badkarma2005 Před 9 měsíci +1

      Honeslty I think it could benefit everyone. I've never seen the point in focusing on the problem instead of just getting on with it

    • @DashiellAskin
      @DashiellAskin Před 9 měsíci

      Had no idea about what?

  • @StephanieTorchin-jn6ry
    @StephanieTorchin-jn6ry Před 11 měsíci +1

    What a beautifully articulated and inspirational TED talk ! A must watch for every parent

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 11 měsíci

      Thank you! Representation is important and I hope many spread this message!

  • @Vanessa-AnnePare
    @Vanessa-AnnePare Před 11 měsíci +1

    Insightful and eye-opening! @MarjorieAunos, you are a great communicator! Thank you for sharing your wisdom and knowledge.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 11 měsíci

      Thank you for watching and sharing!!

  • @carljanicek
    @carljanicek Před 6 měsíci +1

    I'm intrigued by the creative solutions you mentioned, like the mom with vision impairment using bells on her kids' sneakers, such creative problem solving!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 6 měsíci

      Yes! Very creative!!! I love speaking to her always as I discover new ways of doing things! Fascinating!

  • @colincampbell5068
    @colincampbell5068 Před 6 měsíci +1

    I really struggle with out of the box solutions a lot of the time but listening to her, I kinda get it now. I just want my kid to see that no matter what, we will be okay.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 6 měsíci

      A solution focused mindset doesn’t prevent us from struggling - it just helps us focus our energy and efforts towards an outcome that fits more our vision of what is important to us!

    • @raejenson
      @raejenson Před 6 měsíci

      This is really lovely and definitely a normal thing to want! I hope they can see that too 💛

    • @tomdashwood9578
      @tomdashwood9578 Před 6 měsíci

      I think sometimes you just have to practice a thing until your brain is rewired - don't give up, you got this.

  • @dizzeedean
    @dizzeedean Před 6 měsíci +1

    I thought the stuff about having a solution-focused mindset was great! I can see how it would benefit any household, to not just dwell on a problem but instead to just get to fixing it!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 6 měsíci

      It can certainly benefit everyone!!! It just makes us focus on what we cherish most and how we can make it happen!

  • @High-Pink
    @High-Pink Před 9 měsíci +1

    Wow, this talk was mind-blowing! I never knew disabled parents could be such parenting superheroes! Guess I'll have to stop Googling and start asking them for advice!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 9 měsíci

      Everyday parent with creative parenting solutions 😃

  • @ryandombster1424
    @ryandombster1424 Před 6 měsíci +1

    I'm a teacher, and I am actually reevaluating how I can better support parents with disabilities.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 6 měsíci

      Wow!!! That is amazing to hear!!!

    • @oakleysienna
      @oakleysienna Před 6 měsíci

      This is great but how does your role as a teacher allow for that?

    • @oakleysienna
      @oakleysienna Před 6 měsíci

      I mean surely in terms of what's expected of you, as a teacher, you'd just be fulfilling the same duties?

    • @raejenson
      @raejenson Před 6 měsíci

      @@oakleysienna Maybe they're talking about like, basic accessibility stuff?

    • @raejenson
      @raejenson Před 6 měsíci

      Like for parent-teacher nights or for them coming to watch EC/sports activities?

  • @floki_kaki
    @floki_kaki Před 10 měsíci +1

    Amazing work @marjorie! We are so proud of you!
    Bisous from Adriana & family

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 10 měsíci

      Thank you Adriana and family 🙏☺️💕

  • @samanthakatzalay
    @samanthakatzalay Před 6 měsíci +1

    We can all learn from these amazing individuals.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 6 měsíci

      Thank you! I think we can all learn from each other!

    • @raejenson
      @raejenson Před 6 měsíci

      Yes and we can all do better by being aware!

  • @IAmZictate
    @IAmZictate Před 8 měsíci +1

    I had never ever thought about this, needed to today now I can really understand someone at work and their struggle.

  • @thipparatchuri-nagrusk
    @thipparatchuri-nagrusk Před 6 měsíci +1

    This just makes me wonder how we as a society can better support these individuals so they might have a few less challenges from day to day.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos Před 6 měsíci

      Easy: become an ally who notices and shares their observations about the lack of accessibility so that governments or building managers can make it universally accessible!

    • @harrisonstenson8324
      @harrisonstenson8324 Před 5 měsíci

      Agreed. If people were able to think beyond solving their own problems this would be a good place to start