Is Narcissism Treatable? | DIANA DIAMOND
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- čas přidán 7. 10. 2020
- Narcissistic pathology is often said to be difficult to treat, due to antisocial features and the rigidity of the personality (the grandiose self structure). Diana Diamond disagrees and explains why she believes narcissism is in fact treatable.
We interviewed Diana Diamond about narcissism and its prevalence in our society today, all the way from healthy traits to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
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Diana Diamond is an expert clinician who makes use of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy in her practice treating NPD and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).
Check out our interviews of Otto Kernberg and Frank Yeomans for lots more related material: Kernberg: • Dr. Otto Kernberg
Yeomans: • Dr. Frank Yeomans
For more information about BORDERLINE, the feature-length documentary we made about BPD, please visit: borderlinethefilm.com
Our archive of videos on BPD and NPD is expanding - be sure to subscribe to our channel here: / borderlinernotes
As a narcissist, I'm glad to hear that our condition is actually treatable (with extra effort, care, understanding, and patience). At least there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sick and tired of living like this. don't wanna hurt people anymore.
I’m with you ❤️🙏🏾💯🙌🏾
You are the first Narc in the world knowing that I am a Narc, ... Umm!
@DJ CasteAway already on it, man
Sorry but you don’t understand narcissism, you are not narcissist, maybe you have stylish narcissistic personality that is different but I am not an expert so I don’t qualify to diagnose you .
you only don't wanna hurt people because its gonna affect you in the long run, and not because you care about all those people that you hurt. It was always all about you. Still is.
What an amazing lady. Imagine if narcissistic treatment was made more available and widespread, the amount of pain that it would help reduce.
Agree but the problem is getting them to accept and that they need treatment.
@@spindriftbeach6082 just try to criticize them, oof, they will angry and hating you like those real haters, they never taughts to accept criticism.....
Boastful and Grandiose, to this day, some Narcs friends always try to bully me, while i just laugh at them, hahahha....
Yeah, some of My narc friends are rich, they do have Cars and Some good things, but seeing them so insecure, amuse me honestly, hahhaha
When they are so highly defended, it would be extremely difficult to convince them they need therapy. Tried one session with my husband and he sat there with this angry contempt and interpreted the therapist was agreeing with him! The therapist was not a fit for couples either.
Problem is nacissists won't see a therapist coz they are convinced that they are perfect. The only way to have them treated is when a parent recognizes these trades in a child at the age they can still be taken by the hand to a therapist but unfortunately parents, speciallymothers are tended to brush those trades away with all kind of excuses for this conduct.
My mother was one of the type of the fairy tale stepmothers. She started to envy me for my looks and youth when I got into my teens till I got married and even after that every now and then, she kept on critizising me for my physical 'imperfections', such as me having a short neck, fat tighs, etc.
No matter how hard she tried to destroy my self esteem, I do pity her because she died without having done anything with her truely amazing painting talent and without any friend either.
I have heard so many therapist saying we can't change, as narcissist I just see the hope and light out from the tunnel. I always wanted to change but didn't know how..even I tried to isolated Instead hurt people. I met a nice guy I never had I intentions to meet or have a relationship but I'm so afraid to hurt him, but when I'm with him I feel peace like a warm breeze but I'm so afraid to make him misserable
How is it going? it has been 3 weeks. Have you hurt him?
Yeah
they cant change if the treatment is bad. just like with any ailement and awful unwise treatment throught history. nothing new here. it is a subcategory of ptsd and of course it is treatable just like ptsd is. ptsd was also deemed uncureable at some point.
@@lizmonjaraz4 lmao
@@lizmonjaraz4 Been 8 months. Curious to know of any updates.
“Very treatable” now that’s interesting to hear coming from a reliable specialist, makes me have hope for this patients. That means effective treatment is just around the corner. (?!) I’m sure somebody there is incessantly working on it. I really wish BPD and NPD people to end their turmoil.
I agree, I'm shocked to hear her say "very treatable". Everyone else says you can do a few behavioural changes, and that's all. One article I read from a therapist said her treatment of narcissism takes 5-10 years; I'm not sure if that counts as "very treatable".
DBT has been proven to treat successfully patients with BPD. Both BPD and NPD and other cluster b spectrum disorders in my research majority are related to attachment trauma. Complex PTSD is treatable. Only 30 years ago someone still believed BPD was not curable yet the diagnostic criteria of meeting BPD gets lifted. It takes willingness or desperate need to do the work and time that healing needs. Part of when I see lay people who continue to think in absolute terms of curable incurable are still in need of healing themselves. Any good clinician or healer practitioner are driven by people able to change. Science supports this with corrective emotional experiences to rewiring new neuropathways. The family systems of dysfunction are ripe for trauma to occur. It takes a village to have health & vitality. My guess is NPD in other countries outside of America have fewer numbers in part based on diagnostic differences but also how more or less family or neighbors village functions in the development of a child. The black & white all or nothing thinking creates a place where a narrative certain people can't be cured. Thank goodness science research and continued patience of clinicians & scientists to continue forward to help people.
@@jenheartbeawesome can you please tell me what is DBT?
@@shraddhavag Dylectical Behavioral Therapy
@@jenheartbeawesome thank you 🙂
I see hope for a close family member. So grateful for these words: Treatable. Like water on parched earth. Thank you!
Thank god, this is treatable. Thank you very much for this video. I realize I have a very hard journey and I’m somewhat terrified but not moving forward isn’t an option.
What a sweet and amazing lady 💕
She doesn't have that hate that other therapists here on CZcams seem to unconsciously have. She sees the human inside and not the surface of personality
My husband doesn't believe in therapist and pyschologist. So it's hard for him to go for treatment and plus he doesn't believe he has a disorder even though he's been diagnosed..
This is so deep understanding of human being with these very spesific traits with the kind attitude and ability to verbalise it, is so rare and appreciated. ❤
I like how she confirms the sociopathic tendencies, and links it to grandiosity, and from there try to attack the grandeur with a reflective approach. And from there inflate the ego.
Wow. Again. A very detailed explanation. Thank you for making this video possible!
What a wealth of insights and resources this youtube channel is providing. Thanks to the filmmaker for creating this!
How much of the treatment can be achieved as self help.
Not to be cheap, but my Insurance won't pay especially in long term. So I realize you tube self help may not treat fully to cure.
But what about "narcissist self awareness"
And other once there how many other parts of treatment could be self help.
To reprogram these behaviors with positive psychoeduction behaviors instead.
That focus on core family relationships.
"Manipulate, triangulate, abuse, lie, cheat, deceive, rage, gaslight - and you expect to find happiness? ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
So if we took each one of these traits.
And watch how to do it differently and make better choices of behaviors so there's learned experience . Not all would benefit, but I feel like the self awareness is the key to . Knowing which traits to replace with positive behaviors.
So when they come to talk therapy there's more focus on how to love and be empathize because they gave a few years experience the positive nurturing behaviors.
Maybe they can't stop with everyone.
But teaching them the boundaries of love and intimacy in talk therapy about core family. As the negative behaviors have had experience , not manipulate, triangulate, abuse, lie, cheat, deceive, rage, gaslight.
Those may , im guessing be part of awareness through self help. But the love and intimacy is between face to face talk therapy.
Only because insurance won't cover years of therapy for manipulate, triangulate, abuse, lie, cheat, deceive, rage, gaslight.
Those they need to come in on their own.
Unless of course they can afford it privately.
But I feel.
As a society with a large culture of narcissists. It would be helping so many more people than just the narcissist alone.
I'm nobody by the way with no training I mean to say.
Like where do I find . A series of videos for self help treatment. That is endorsed by a consensus of doctors . On what is good psychoeducation for a narcissist to do on their own as the prerequisite for talk therapy.
I can say it in many ways.
But how much pre self help can accomplish narcissistic treatment goals?
Tobe more ready for therapy and or lower cost for insurance.
Like if I could take an exam on narcism to help me qualify for insurance treatment.
Amazing how much is condensed into this short video, its quite academic but worth watching them again as I keep finding things about myself that I missed before, Thank you for these great videos BorderlinerNotes, I hope you do some new ones
finally I have found something that gives me hope
She’s so smart. These pd are so complex but she slices through them like hot butter
Excellent video 👍🏼👍🏼
You have given me so much hope Doc.
I think so too, narcissists are stuck to an emotional age of 2. They can grow up but it's not easy...
Have you noticed how social media and constant social approval online might play into this? I am curious if this diagnosis has increased with social media addiction for the newer generation. Thank you in advance.
Fantastic description but only the appearance of grandiosity can be treated the others not!
I see the way we even think of treating narcissists may be a first big problem on it's own.
Analyzing own behavior doesn't work well with those defense mechanisms.
I'm sure there's a solution to this. It could be a combination like there is for borderline.
Dbt also came from multiple ideas and modified therapeutic methods.
I highly suspect my husband to be a narcissist and our marriage is at its worst at the moment because of that. I am starting to understand a lot more, reading about the narcissistic personality disorder. My question is: how can you convince someone like him to go into psychotherapy? He doesn't trust a living soul....
I'm sorry, but he will probably not, as people with NPD tend to project their inner views onto others. Therefore, he would rather believe that people are to be blamed for everything. In his mind, he will always be the ultimate victim. Please, take care of yourself.
I'm a narcissist I can tell u there's no way to convince him to take a therapist...since my humble position he would think he is right and u are wrong cuz is the same I do...if someone tell me I'm wrong with my behavior and character I'm not sure I'm wrong when others judge me instead look theirs mistakes. Ur husband needs to realized about himself and look for help otherwise no one will able to understand
A solution to that problem might be going to couples therapy and telling him both of you need it, because you think you’re the problem and causing harm in the relationship. Telling him that you aspire to be the best version of yourself for him, for your marriage. He might accept help this way. A good psychotherapist will then see his passive aggressive behavior. And with luck and a lot of work you might find an arrangement of him going to therapy while both of you continuing couples therapy because tbh you might need it after the emotional abuse he put you through. Narcissistic disorders can be cured, it is rare but not impossible. There is help and they can learn empathy as well as love. Narcissists can become nice people, they’re not born with this behavior and it is a compensatory illness. Good luck.
"and if you are extremely patient they are treatable",
Well, patient till when and how long?
Now if any victim who has just identified about a narc in their life, gets to watch this video, will develop a hope that npd is curable and will start investing more energy and time to treat that narc and cure them, without even knowing how long will it take. Till THEN the victim should /will be ready to take the abuse.
I wish npd patients should heal and find peace. But as adults let them help themselves if they really want to heal. It's a devastating process when we try to help them heal.
Even if it's True that they can be treated, by the time they heal, the victim who stayed and helped them will be in a state to go to therapy for CPTSD, which will take a lifetime to heal.
If i think I might be a covert narcissist and feel afraid of my behaviour could hurt the others, is that a sign that I might not be a narcissist ?
Narcissists don’t care about other people’s feelings, they lack empathy. So you’re probably not one. However, most people have narcissistic traits - but you don’t get the diagnosis if you don’t score high on the narcissistic scale.
From what I've read but I'm not an expert-it's unlikely you are if you are researching the matter!
You are NOT a narcissist.
Pathological narcissists don't think about how their behaviour impacts people. Sam Vaknin has an amazing channel on CZcams.
if you relate to videos about narcissism , you might be one. not all narcissists are completely against self awareness when they are in a vulnerable state, to understand behaviours that contribute to their own suffering or suffering they put others through, which might be exactly why you might be wondering about this. take an online test to get closer to understanding this about yourself. search, "pathalogical narcissism inventory" click on the first link by psy tests.
I love how half these comments are ppl who just wanna have internet conversations about themselves & the other half just wanna tell narcissists that theyre bad ppl qho can never change cuz theyre still holding on to the hurt of what happened to them. Everyone, GET IVER YOURSELF. thats literally what this video is about
I love hearing about this therapy but I know it costs a fortune, and is out of reach.
It's not, Just check how much you spend in drugs, parties and going out with ppl every month
@@drj4u2b Project much?
That's why mental health care for all should be part of the platform of any political party worth supporting. Think of the cost to taxpayers, to society of untreated NPD.. paying for people to get proper care would be much cheaper and make it more accessible.
How bad is the problem, and what is the true collateral cost of Not accessing the treatment?
@@user-pc2xn1iz8w Absolute truth. Mental illness should be the number one issue that we divert resources to. The problem is that our leaders are mostly sociopathic and so they don’t see a reason to put money into healing the population when they can make so much more money off of things like private prisons and perpetuating the cycle of abuse and mental illness. Starting wars for profit and creating more victims of trauma that continue these cycles is profitable as well to them.
What if the rules are made by narcissists or sociopaths
Good question 🙋
In some context or other, doesn't everyone bend the rules?
But the pathological narcissists does it in a ruthless way.
Can I heal this on my own?
It's an attachment trauma, healing means learning to connect to other people authentically. Time as a hermit is part of many spiritual traditions, however, there comes a point when the hermit comes back down from the mountain. to be of service To gain empathy and learn to connect, I think we need other people. The therapist is like a surrogate friend to practice on.
Our son's biological mom has been diagnosed with histrionic, personality disorder.
My question is how can we help our son cope and protect himself?
He is ten and has figured everything out.
Legally he has a few years before he can go ' no contact'.
Hi so my wife is very social out going happy loves to entertain. When she gets upset and the flight mode kicks in she quits it builds it becomes unconcontrable and leads to physical agresion . Then it is quieting time and I may not see her for months and everyone is told I'm the abuser . I'm the blame or my son she can teach herself to believe what she thinks it's very frustrating I know she is not full blown narcissist but it is their when angziaty or anger kicks in do j have hope this is repairable
Is she a Christian??
@@uplift56 yes on Sunday morning she is the rest of the week lol
@@glennhansen8197 - I understand, and church online probably is her new interest now 😅!
Her efforts to go to church are only blocked by work schedules
@@glennhansen8197 - do you think God led you to marry her??
Extremely patient:))) I would say if you are masochist you may have a need to deal with narcissistic person
Well said 👏👏👏
"Extremely patient"...
infinite compassion can become utterly exhausting and even enabling . Perhaps a therapist can be extremely patient once a N acknowledges the need for help.?
The reason NPD is so untreatable is because the NPD person usually doesn’t have as much issues as the BPD person or other mentally ill people so they don’t seek treatment because in most cases this disorder is working for them. They get rewarded for acting the way they do in a lot of aspects in their life so they believe the person they’re in a relationship with is in the wrong because everyone else is rewarding them and these patterns are working for them. NPD, I believe, becomes treatable when the NPD person becomes aware that they have a problem and are willing to work on fixing it.
I love the way the self appointed "experts" in the comments section keep wanting to parrot what has clearly just been shown to be a common mis-perception or deliberate lie. Diana Diamond -a real expert-has just said it's "very treatable"! If you're not an expert then shut up!
@@tanyahyde2679 It’s very treatable if they want to be treated. A lot of them don’t. This is true of every mental illness, but especially NPD because NPD causes the least distress to the sufferer after sociopathy. And it gives them rewards. Unlike other mental illnesses.
@@TaymaShine Nah, Schizophrenic, DID, and some Depressed people are more prone to dangerous behaviour, they even don't scared to slith their wrist and seeing all those sadistic videos, in the name of righteousness.....
Yes, some Narcissist are more prone to Toxicity, but look at those villains and criminal, they were not Narcissist, cause Narcissist use logic and entitled, they never take risk like those mentally ill people.....
There's a lot of variety and causes people doing bad things, Narc do bad things, but they were just a little child, trapped in adult body.....
@@TaymaShine Those Grandiosity they put as a mask, it was caused by so any factor, neglect and bad nurtures was probably the biggest factor.....
I do know a lot of real Grandiose Overt Narcissist in real life, they never had a mental illness like us, and it's also contains some story just like us, they was neglected and facing violence when hthey was a child, there's two overt Male Narcissist in my neighbours.....
Bullying are their favourite weapons, cause they never felt true love from their parents, the very thing they always looking in their victims, which is they never trully felt and have, no matter where they look elsewhere....
Narcissist never had mental illness like us......
You are wrong. They are very unwell. They are more sick than the Borderline.
I appreciate the video - Narcissism is so destructive! I creatively portray narcissism in the last video on my channel w/ a funny skit also. I hope we inspire/inform people to avoid manifesting narcissism in their life! Just subscribed to your channel too - Keep up the meaningful content.
What!!!!!very treatable??!!
U r fired!!!
Same to you -as I said above-like a bunch of bullying school kids-grow up!
Hmm. I was bullied as a child, the way I see my child self is as follows: dumb, weak, too sensitive, unreliable, not trustworthy, inferior
Do I view everyone else the same way?
I know deep down that I'm still that worthless little shit
As a child, these traits are fine, as a 21 year old with a sick mother relying on me, being that worthless little shit AND a narcissist with no job and no education is an unpardonable sin that should be repaid with blood
I am leaving her anyway, who cares if she is treatable or changeable or mot!
I wonder if you become aware of this if you try to work it out with mushrooms. This mental health stuff needs to be taken more seriously. Growing up I had a lot of negative influences that as I think about it were quite narcissistic, so am I product of my environment?
Psychedelics can have a strong impact on that.
Otherwise it also could make things worse. We don't know this for sure at this point. It'll take more studies.
I'd say you're a product of many processes, both from your environment and from your inside.
But yeah, narcissistic people most probably had a big influence on you.
Well you may as well diagnose Have the population with something at this point. I feel like the metal health community is really running off the rails with this and everything else in their diagnostic manual. Skeptic here
I absolutely agree 💯
I keep hurting people. But do I love and crave attention and money $ I want fame.
the only effective treetment to narcissism is for one to accept the Lord Jesus as their saviour and start developing the character of christ which is the exact opposite of the devils character
There narcissistic people with some kind of God complex they get even higher up and think there standing with him like
How many therapists are being trained to recognize and treat these underlying structures? She gives me hope for the person I love, but in my experience, my person sees no value in therapy (devalues it), in part because the therapists he has worked with were not up to the task.
Hopefully more and more.. for a long time it has been far too few to make effective treatment widely available. Thanks for being here. -P
@@BorderlinerNotes I have watched all your videos with Drs. Diamond, Yeoman, Kernberg, and the others multiple times. Sometimes I play them on loop, trying to take it all in. Your channel and HealNPD are the only channels I’ve found that take an educated, compassionate approach to NPD. Your work is important!