Coming Out
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- čas přidán 7. 09. 2024
- I felt that it was important to share my coming out journey- or at least early stages of it- to possibly help anyone that is going through anything similar or parallel to what I went through. If you don't fit the mold or feel that you are trapped by a secret, take your time and look for allies and friends. You are not alone and you always have an ally, whether they are next door or on CZcams.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Dr. Seuss
/ brettmbolton
Brett, I was, and am from a place, and family like yours. The difference is I did the "unthinkable thing", I came out 1982, maybe 1. I was tractable about it, My great-Grandfather left the largest portion of his estate to the eldest great grandchild, me HaHa, 2100 acres, a colonial house, and a large trust.. He and I spent a lot of time together, and he wanted to keep the estate together, he died when I was 16. By law here in NC you can declare independence at 16. I knew I was gay 12-13 yrs old. I was one of the lucky ones, I know of several LGBT's, who were not only treated badly, but kicked out and ostracized from our area. My family quickly grew to accept it, ( mainly they needed, or wanted something from me.), I went off to college and became a Biology teacher and ATC,. While teaching the school payed for me to go to WFU Med. Sch., and get a M.S. in Sports Medicine, While still working I went back to graduate school, and now have a Ph.D. in Psychology of Adolescence, I am 51 now retired and work with troubled youth, especially LGBT issue's.. I never have found my soulmate, I thought I had for 7yrs., but I know he is out there, and with age comes a certain wisdom, time takes time. I hope you find your one true love! ly Richard Councilman Ph.D..
Thank you for that story. I am 48 and just now coming to grips with who I am. I grew up in a very conservative religious family too and knew it was just not an option to be gay and so I fought it for all these years. CZcams too for me was a huge help in accepting me for me. Good luck to you and thanks again!
You'll be fine. It's us old guys who missed out that have the regrets. You'll be fine if you stay true to yourself. You won't end up like the sad lonely older guys you may have met. We faced very different challenges than you do. You're going to have a great life.
And, as cliche as this may sound....I have been out for over 25+ years Brett....IT DOES GET BETTER. Do you and be happy in your own skin. You will never regret it. Best wishes to you!!
Hi Brett. I think coming out stories like yours are incredibly important to young people and may possibly be saving lives. I'm a 65 year old man who grew up in a town of 1800 people and long before youtube or anything remotely like it. I didn't come out until I was 30 years old and was miserable for many of those years. Thank you, thank you, thank you for reaching out. It does make a difference.
Thank you for sharing your personal story. Inspired by coming out videos similar to yours, I made my own coming out series and even came out in my high school yearbook quote a few months ago: "I started high school with straight A's...now I'm not even straight! I'm still me, though!" You are helping pave the way for so many others on their coming out journeys and I have immense respect for you. Keep being your authentic self!
Thank you for sharing, it mirrors almost everything I have been dealing with my entire life. I am slowly trying to open up to others so they can see the real me and hope that I don't get judged based on stereotypes. I truly hope you are doing well :-)
This is great Brett! So proud of you.
Brett is exactly the kind of person the lbgt community needs as a spokesperson: charming, articulate, honest and sincere with a sonorous voice which defies the stereotypes.
what a great video!
Hey! Thanks for sharing your process. It's so much more impressive when you're coming out in a rural community.
Earth Worm Thank you for watching! It is difficult to come out anywhere- I don't think it is more impressive, just a little different in a rural community.
Sharing our stories and experiences is so important, so thank you for being brave enough to do so on a public level. It will help countless other folks who are sitting there feeling isolated, alone, or like they're the only one who isn't "out" right now. I am a counselor/therapist for gay/bi men and I can tell you that usually we are happier and healthier the more integrated/open and less compartmentalized our lives are. I hope that this is your experience. So many guys that I work with have turned to unhealthy behaviors (excess/abuse of drugs or alcohol, self-harm, etc) to try to feel OK with themselves, or to try to obliterate their feelings. Glad to hear that you are not only opening up and freeing yourself to have a full life but also putting your story out there to both support and communicate with others! Big kudos to you, man!
+tatsf Thanks for watching and thank you for the work you are doing!
Coming out is the most powerful thing any of us can do to effect change. Once people know us they will support us. The reason the LGBT rights and advanced so rapidly compared to other minority movements is that once we become visible people realize that we are ordinary folks just like everyone else.
Brett, I think you're have much happiness in your future. How honest and full of integrity your story is. It's clear that your purpose in making the video is to help many people, regardless of their sexual orientation. I remember when I came out to my folks at age 23, my mom said real sweetly that she'd known since I was about three years old. My dad shed a tear then looked at me and said, "I always thought it was probably the case, Johnny. Rest assured that nothing could ever affect our love for you. I only regret that I didn't know how to be there for you during those years when you had to cope with it alone, as a child, then as a young adult." So, the dear Lord blessed me with the most loving response imaginable. Now, I work in advocacy formally to help others. There is so much love in the world; what's happening with this openness is so good. I'm a practicing Christian who just can't wrap my head around why our fellows want to use something so beautiful as faith to abuse others with. I think they're really confused and afraid. The dialog is good. Once they know us, so many of them know we're really just their brothers and sisters made a little bit differently from them. Wasn't it beautiful that the president stood up for us in Kenya recently. You did a great job on your video, Brett. Thanks for the service to all.
John Meros Thank you for watching and sharing John, I love your story.
You seem like the type of caring person who would go to the trouble to answer what must be by now many many comments. You're a good role model for people grappling with this issue all the best to you Brett
Best from John
Thank you for your video! Congratulations on your decision to do it in such a public way. Much success to you in all your endeavors!!!
You are BEAUTIFUL!!
I just saw your video and that is a great story thank you for sharing it. I come from a small town of about 1200 people so I can relate to what you had to deal with there. I am very proud of you. This is a very touching story and I can relate to you in so many ways. Hope to see more of your videos soon.
I have a few good friends who are gay. I get along with them just great & they are always a joy to be around. I'm trying to be more understanding of people's differences. Be well!
well done for getting to this place in your life where you can be your self & come out I'm 33 & I'm bi but I only come out to one of my best mates
Wow, well done bud! It's really hard coming out and you're really brave to have done it, and told your story so publicly... You must feel extremely relieved!! I'm 33 and only came out to my parents last year! (don't know why i left it so long). Brett, I hope you have a happy, fulfilling life, meet the boy of your dreams and have a fabulous time along the way!
Thanks for being brave and sharing!
Great job brother. Keep up the great job. Sweet guy. Sending you a big hug. Darwin
Even though there are still people out there with conservatives views i´m actually glad we live in this side of the world where the fact of being gay or bisexual or whatever and make an announcement is an stressful thing and is just that Stress, im from uruguay and i see gay guys holding hands sometimes even in crowded places and im thanks for them to be able to do so and there is no one even turning heads, there are some places in the world where the fact of being just feminine if you are a man is reason enough for be killed, so my advice to you is be happy and always define yourself by the kind of person you are
ps: thanks for adding to this "coming out" movement, i think is really helpful for a lot of people
Some of these videos are very powerful, thanks very much for the upload.
I had a really similar experience, and CZcams was a big part of me becoming more comfortable with my identity. Representation matters! :)
+Ian Reed Agreed! :)
Beautifully expressed, Brett. I can empathise with one part of your story. I too compartmentalised my life. The gay bit was put in a safe place while I got on with playing and coaching sports. The fact that it was so physical helped. Eventually, of course, the gay bit grows and grows until it becomes the elephant in the room, then you have to face up to it.
Unlike you, I was around long, long before the internet, so I had to access volunteer support groups, which in a way was better, because there was no firewall, you had to front up to other individuals. Even though they shared the same sexuality and therefore there would be no judging, the mere fact of having made a type of public pronouncement was very empowering. It was one of the things that led me into gay rights campaigning.
In a way I think that the present day is both encouraging and sad at the same time. I'm now married to my partner in the UK, a great step forward, but still, there are young guys feeling isolated and alienated, even here. Some even entertaining suicidal thoughts.
Many years ago, a straight friend said that other young teens have problems, gays don't have a monopoly. While that is true to a point, I pointed out that if a kid is bullied at school for being fat, they can go to their parents for support. If they are bullied because they are black, their families give them support. If you have a crush on somebody when you are straight, you can talk to friends about it. Being gay is still, for the majority, uniquely isolating. When I look at the testimonies of people like you and all the others, I'm always proud of how level headed and calm you are, how your inner strength which has been forged through your tough experiences, is apparent for all to see.
Oh your a brave young man, to come out, I was in your shoes quite awhile back, I exactly know what you went thru, ITS VERY SCARRY, YOU EXPECT REJECTION, FAMILY DISOWNING, YOU ECT😭😭. ITS PLAIN HARD. 😭😭
BUT EVENTUALLY I DID IT AND I DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE SAY, JUDGE, ECT. GLAD YOU FEEL ALOT BETTER, AS IF YOU GOT CONCRETE WALL LIFTED OFF YOUR BACK. TAKE CARE, STAY SAFE PARTNER. 😊✌️🤠👍
You're so cute!! Good for you for putting yourself out there :)
Welcome to your new chapter in your life. And thank you for sharing. Hope you will find your Mr right soon. And be brave to be who you are
leo chung Thank you for watching :)
haha, hopefully x) I hope all is well with you
Thanks for sharing !
You are so seriously handsome!
I came out too and I am happy I did!!!!!!!! You're so cute and handsome :)
Brett, where have you been? Goodness you’re beautiful ❤️
This is kind of my current dilemma, but I'm not at a place where I know how to share it yet. :/
+Joshua Hawes Just take it at your own pace, and don't feel like it is something that you have to share. Feel free to reach out if you want.
Hey, nice job coming out Brett. How are things going? Wow, but you’ve got super blue eyes! Sorry, had to get that out! Be well.
I want to say you did an amazing job on coming out! I am gay also and know what it's like to come out its great! I wish you the very best 👍👍
So Brett why don’t you do an ‘update’ of how your life is 5 years later. Your honesty and good looks are very charismatic.
I know a guy who is gay. When he was 23 he was scared to death to come out to his mother, but when he did she just laughed and said, "Honey, I've known you were gay scene you were 13." He didn't even realize he was gay until he was 16 (this was the 80's). It just goes to show, our parents know us AND understand better than we think they do.
Great video brett! And welcome to youtube!
WhatsUpBen Thank you! I really appreciate it :)
Okay, I'm trying to be mature and listen to his amazing story but I seriously keep getting lost in his eyes. They are so beautiful hehe! What?! Hes a sexy man. I might be engaged, but I'm not dead lol My man would agree too. Anyway, in all seriousness, This was a beautiful story and I wish nothing but the best. Hope Grad school went well 😊
You go bro! :)
Awesome my friend!! Love you.
Congratulations on debut. Super nice video.
The Supreme Court ruling on same sex marriage has had a surprising upside for me. Despite being out, (though not personally interested in marriage) I now feel validated, having the right to exist as a complete person. (And that's liberating!)
Every coming out video makes life better for the next person. Thanks Brett for yours.
John C Thank you! I definitely echo those feelings- the backing of our legal institutions is certainly emboldening.
Wishing you every happiness. XXX X
You should do more videos please 💛💛💛
Love your blue eyes☺
Thank you for adding your story to the lgbt fabric. I hope things are going well for you and you are happy.
I'm very happy u came out n tell ur story. by the way ur so cute.
.
Bravo!
Gorgeous
I want you to know that running away is not the answer it is the cowards way out of your struggles it. Just makes it worse and i should know that i have been running my whole life because i could. Not come to my trims with myself that has down syndrome
Thank you for a great vid bud I wish I had this kind of vid when I was struggling with my sexuality 50 yrs ago I grew up Johovas witness in Australia and it wasn't good when I told my parents it took many years for my family to forgive me for being the stain on the family but my sister who loves me unconditionally made sure I wasn't alone. I am sure you have given gay boys around the world hope and the fact they are different to the norm is ok
Nice to meet you
🙌
I know what's it like having to hide mu life style form everyone growing up in church I wasn't really allowed to be me openly gay but I'm openly gay now and I never been happier
Howdy from the lone star state of Texas sending you lots of love, hugs and kisses
Great video
finn191275 Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.
Brett M Bolton sorry just saw your comment. No problem, hope all is good for you!
Enjoy your life. Partake in all the joys a full life affords you. Love. Pleasure. Sex. Family. It’s all there for you. As it should be. Your going to have a wonderful life.
you are so brave and cute
honey been there done that think how bad it was in the 80s
+kenn mcsherry I cannot imagine. Earlier generations certainly made it easier for ours- thank you.
+Brett M Bolton
I came out in 1980 at the age of 16 here in Canada, I had no problems coming out. Maybe Canada progressed faster than the U.S as we have had gay marriage since 2005. The 80s weren't the 50s as there were millions coming out back then. It was the AIDS epidemic that brought down the 80s, that's the only downside I can think of about the 80s, everything else was a blast, at least it was here in Vancouver.. I have heard people from the 50s and 60s say that they liked the sneaking around too hookup back in the 50s and 60s, it gave them an adrenaline rush thinking they could be caught. lol
+Brett M Bolton I hope today's gay kids recognize the sacrafices that those who grew up in 60's went through--we didn't have youtube to come out, or supportive org.'s--we most certainly didn't come out in school---it was very harsh---
That took a lot of courage. Kudos to you. :-)
Its been 7 years since you posted y or coming out vid. How is your life now?
Being Gay is NOT a choice. Being Bisexual IS a choice, i.e., being attracted to both sexes is a CHOICE. You choose either boy or girl. But being Gay, you're only attracted to the same sex (not a choice). Straight people are only attracted to the opposite sex. If a Straight person argues that it's a choice, all you need to say is the following: "You, who are straight, chose to be with the opposite sex. That means you were attracted to BOTH sexes and CHOSE the opposite sex, right?" You'll then hear a pin drop on the carpet, and he or she will be at a loss for words. Countless Gay, as well as Straight, are loving, caring, sharing, and productive human beings. Period and end of story.
Handsome and cute
I love your smile honey
NYU ??????????? Surely you jest?? That place is deviante-central. What were you doing there if not to investigating a lifestyle or getting on your knees?????
Handsome guy...love your lips...
Nice coming out story man. I love seeing other guys have the courage to tell their story. You should definitely check out my coming out video on my channel.
So I want to communicate with you I’m in love your heart I am Latino I’m pretty famous I wanna get to know you hit me up