6 Things Women Say That Are Red Flags (Every Guy Needs To Watch This)
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- čas přidán 22. 05. 2024
- If she says any of these things, consider it a warning sign.
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"When she holds you to incredibly high standards but holds herself to low standards" 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
can anyone explain why this is a red flag, genuinely confused @Daryl Lights
@@bacugan11 Because she will have you performing at your best for her and won't put any standard of behavior and treatment on how she handles you!
@@bacugan11 Yellow, Red, and Black flags (card) are sports analogies on how serious the infraction is to a relationship.
Yellow - damages relationship... it can work, but both have to work harder for it. too many can still cost the game/relationship
Red - Serious infraction. While a few can be explained, the ones Courtney mentions cannot be so easily dismissed. While you can still "win" the game, ie marriage, odds are it'll end in Divorce or untimely death. 2 get you ejected.
Black - Walk. Now. Do not look back. Game forfited. You will end up dead, or lose your sanity/dignity. Nothing good will come from this relationshit outside of a few minutes/hours of fun... then run, run as fast as you can. Compulsive Liar, Klepto, murderer, are all Black Flags for me. (Not all inclusive) Despite what Courtney says, Crazy is a black flag for me, and those that blatantly brag about it, I don't even need to date to find out. If you're just looking for a good time, fine, but then run, run your ass off.
@@daryllights huh? By the way you phrased it i think the person thought that you meant a woman who puts you on a pedestal and idolizes you but has low self esteem
You said it right. My ex would have high expectations of me yet those same rules didn't apply to her, ... At all.
The "all men are trash" saying is an instant turn off for me. This is coming from a guy who's comfortable joking about 99% of topics without taking much personal. My last relationship involved that quote once a week and our convos would ALWAYS end in awkward silence.
Usually when a woman says "all men are trash" 9/10 times it means she's never been able to keep one around.
If you want to challenge that narrative, you can just ask if that makes a woman a dumpster since trash goes in and out all the time hahaha we need more ladies in this side of the world
@@traelee684 the same type of women who wonder why men don’t approach them anymore
Why wouldn't you just say farewell to her after the first time and never see her again? Do you not consider yourself a man? Or if you really think she was joking, wouldn't you make it clear to her, how much you do not appreciate such a "joke". If she continues, back to point 1.
Fr bro, why would I be with someone who hates me?
“Shopping is my hobby” is another one for me.
#7 A woman that can never admit
she’s wrong/apologize. 🚩🚩🚩
My ex didn’t even apologize when I found out she was cheating for 1.5 years.
Never met a woman who is accountable for her actions.
The old your crazy not cheating saying
My father lived to almost 96 y/o and never once did I ever hear him say he was wrong or apologize. I didn't realize it at the time, but he was an absolute narcissist. Failure to self evaluate and admit wrong is something I always look for and if it is a pattern, I avoid it like the plague.
Which is most of them
1. Princess/Petulant behaviour
2. Negative about relationships (talks bad about ppl that surrounds her)
3. Mind reader talk (expects you to do something without asking for it)
4. She calls herself "crazy" (when she is proud of doing certain obsessive or possessive behaviours)
5. Talking over you or interrupting you
6. "All men are trash" "I hate men" kind fo statements
I do recommend you guys watch the video for more understanding of each point!
Thx for the shortcut. 👌
Video is good too.
The last one, I’d just walk out w/o an explanation. Idk if that’s toxic of me but sounds really stupid!
@@aaron-damonkassner4715 I would too. You have to respect yourself
Number 4, So True!!!
My last ex was sweet and nice for a few months. Then she did 1-5 routinely for the next 8 months and then i dumped her and she said “we should go to counseling”😮
I went on a date a few weeks ago. This woman made horrible assumptions about me and then followed it up with 'I have a really great sixth sense of these things'. I told her she was gaslighting herself so she could believe anything she wanted to.
I eventually had to block her. This was after one date. Talk about dodging a bullet.
Good for you for getting outta there Justen! That was a setup for the future & it definitely wasn't gonna be a bright one. Stay safe & God bless!! 💯
That definitely wouldn't have lasted
holy sht dude, You made the right call to run from that nightmare.
Good that you spotted this early.
I hear ya - Justen!
This is a good example why you have to be very careful who you get involved with these days - because they could possibly ruin your life, and perhaps the career that you’ve worked so hard for.
You have to pay really close attention early on in the relationship, to see if you can spot any red flags before it’s too late.
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Now I know better why my marriage broke and couldn't have lasted. You are almost 100% describing my ex-wive. The only differences: She considered herself normal and me crazy, and she wouldn't talk over me, but she would reject my arguments in any discussion, get angry and shut down. Which goes in line with "I won't tell you what I want, you should know". Both of us had their issues. I saw mine, promised to work on them and often failed with this. But she didn't see hers. Too bad I can't leave her behind, we have kids...
Still, there will come a day and you should slowly prepare for it. Daydream about it. Plan it carefully and find joy in it. Squirrel away money and valuables. Figure out what you are willing to leave behind and take with you. Most important, buy spy cameras and buy a watch that audio records conversations. These things saved my butt. You need to start stacking the divorce evidence in your favor now. Also, take notes of what happens in a journal. One other thing, through false claims by your soon to be ex, the court will likely send you to anger management counseling. Go to anger management counseling long before the divorce so she can't play that card on you. Talk to divorced men and find out what happened to them so you can be ready. Do all this because she is getting ready to do the same to you. And watch out for the traps and set-ups she is laying down for you to fail. They all do it. Trust me.
Sounds like my situation. I am working on myself now.
you was a horrible husband, I read
Most Women want the man to change - but not themselves.
@marguskiis7711 you clearly can't read. Women are usually the problem in relationships.
I just got out of a 3+ year relationship with a woman who portrayed all of these except #5. She always wanted her way. If I ever questioned what SHE wanted to do at any time, she’d erupt into full out crying screaming, telling me I’m a piece of sh*t a**hole, and much worse. I let that happen though, I had seen past her red flags for years. I wanted to fix her/grow with her long term but she only got worse. Every fight was my fault. even when she did something to upset me, I’d call her out for it, and then SHE’D get mad at ME because she didn’t know how to take accountability for her actions. Literally EVER. I’d have to pry an apology out of her (if one ever came out). It got to a point where I never told her how I felt in our relationship, every fight I kept quiet and apologized to her because I didn’t want to deal with more fighting/bullsh*t. It got to a point where I felt I was walking on eggshells just to talk to her. But again, I WAS part of the problem. I had a hard time providing for her, which is what she clearly wanted/needed in a man. My response was to work my ass off and make more money, to get us out of this situation. In return, I showed her close to no attention for months, If not years. I showed the attention I could, but again, I worked 15 hour days, 2 jobs, with a 3rd side hustle on the weekends/in between jobs just to crack maybe 2k a month. I struggled with finding decent paying job for a long time, and the two I had still payed minimal. We got worse because of these problems on both ends of the relationship.
I relate to this video because these red flags came out within the first 6 months of dating, and I completely disregarded them, and she portrayed ALL of those listed above (almost). She was extremely immature, and never took accountability for any of her actions. To anyone reading this, let me save u years of time, and If you discover these red flags, whatever you do, DON’T avoid them. Don’t let your boundaries down for a woman. Long term, it will absolutely damage you as a man, humiliate you, and turn you into the worst version of yourself. I promise you. I loved this girl to death, even though she completely broke me inside. She did change me in many ways for the better, but the red flags far outweigh the green.
Bottom line, men out there. If a woman portrays these red flags, confront them about it, and if they can’t own up to it/offer to work on it, you HAVE to walk away. Do not be afraid to walk away. Do not stay and let her eventually walk all over you, which will happen if you don’t deal with these red flags early.
Just decided to rant here, haven’t spoke to almost anyone about my breakup, nor have ever been able to tell my ex about how I really feel without her erupting then me apologizing for how I feel.
Thanks to anyone who read this, and I hope you can understand what the long term consequences of avoiding these red flags really can do to you as a man. Stay safe out here ❤
Don't forget when she says "it's either me or your hobbies/friends/career" That ended my last relationship and is a red flag for me.
Yes, the proper response to the ultimatum is goodbye.
If whoever you’re with can’t enjoy spending time with you and your friends or always gets upset when you spend some “me” time on something you enjoy. Dump her. Those are the worst
Good on u king! No one, man or woman, deserves their significant other asking them to choose something so extreme.
One of my uncles exes did this. "It's either me or your daughter"
Bitch got kicked out the next day. Lol
Haha *(fires up the Hellcat and goes for a cruise)* not that I have a Hellcat but point is we'll pick our hobbies
One more warning sign: If she drinks too much ...RUN! away from her
100% agree, this is the biggest red flag.
@@larrykippingsIt's crazy because all women do this. I haven't met a woman that doesn't display atleast half of the Red-flags mentioned in this comments section.
Glad I quit drinking
Needed this.
Not just drinking but lying or excusing or justifying it by saying it's only social drinking or I drink because you're here and I feel safe... ummm... yeah... I know you drink without me too because you drunk text me all the time.
I was married to someone with all of these well defined red flags for 15 years.
It's not a bad relationship, it's an exercise in not taking your own life on a daily basis because you feel like you couldn't bear to live without your kids, and that's the knife they quietly slide into you and twist, and no one else is aware that this is how the relationship operates, or can figure out why you're chronically depressed and anxious.
I also know other men who are still in relationships with vvomen who tick all of these boxes. It's pure desperation.
Putting up with it for the children is every married man’s moto
My hats off too you brother I wish you well as have done what your doing now my kids are all grown now but I know where your coming from
@@ernest1576 cheers mate 👍
Man, I don’t know what to say.
I feel for you brother. I was also married for 15 years and it was soul crushing. My ex-wife had a very abusive childhood and suffered from so much trauma she never healed from. 10 years in, she was finally diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, and things marginally improved for a time. Only reason I stayed for so long was I couldn't bear to be without my kids, and even more so couldn't fathom leaving them with her and not being around to help shield them from her crazy making behavior. Been divorced for 12 years now, kids are grown and doing well and I see them regularly, They are really the only relationships I have at this stage in my life. I stopped dating a few years ago, as I refuse to put myself through that kind of anguish again, and it seems the dating pool is filled with self-absorbed women with loads of undealt with trauma.
How about if she constantly criticizes and insults me. That should be a red flag.
If a girl is constantly posting on tiktok, *that* is a red flag
Obsession with social media is a red flag.
@@mrbill2600 Exactly! If they go to CNN or facebook to get all of their opinions and marching orders AVOID.
When she only talks about her life and doesn't ask about yours. Run, you're wasting your time.
🙌🏼
@@CourtneyRyan do u thongs look gud on men courtney
@Oji Have fun being single then for the rest of your life
It's a clear indication that someone is a narcissist. Stay away from anyone that's that self centered.
Very true. And it's shocking how common this is too. If I ask questions (because I'm intrigued to get to know someone) it should be normal for them to reciprocate and be interested in knowing me back surely??
I knew a gal some years ago who, when talking about her history, said of her ex-husband “he bought me a house!” NO, he did not buy YOU a house. He bought a house for the two of you; he bought ‘us’ a house.
Yeah but she probably got all of the house after they split, so she was right in the end
I definitely needed this.
Something I found to be a red flag is when she says she is "too nice." None of the nice women i've met call themselves too nice, but every woman i've met who has, used "being nice" as an excuse to be flirtatious and act inappropriately with men while she was in a relationship.
My half sister is "proud" of being a "b!tch". She "owns it".
She's nearly 60, over 350lbs, smokes 3 packs of 100s a day, has no husband, no kids. She does have 5 cats however.
She's destroyed every relationship she has to her actual family. She surrounds herself with human trash and people who exploit her. The one constant she's done throughout her entire life is create nothing but issues for those around her. My favorite quote from her is, "I can't be taught, because I refuse to learn."
She's the embodiment of red flag.
Hence why she’s an overweight 60-year-old virgin.
Sounds like a nightmare…
That's sad
@TheDoogieT 😂
Yr sis is a bro, sorry pal XD
I was in a relationship like this for 3 years. I felt trapped and drained. When I finally broke up, it felt like I came out of prison.
I agree with you there man! I was in a relationship like that as well.
I feel you. My last relationship was 5 years ago. It lasted 4 years and it was draining. I am out of the relationship business and just do casual hookup for fun. Works better for me.
Do you mind me asking why you were in it for 3 years?
Likewise!
Same. Never been happier. I’m so full of life right now
I was catching up on the bud light controversy going on and this video played next and I really was so impressed, yet very refreshed to be hearing a woman talking about warning signs on bad women.
This was AWESOME! And Courtney Ryan you are more than AWESOME to do this video. A wholehearted thank you sharing this
Thanks Courtney. Sometimes it's good to get reminders of the red flags from previous relationships - time heals old wounds, but then you start feeling nostalgic for that person and... well, yeah, this was a good reminder of some of the reasons why I ended it! The "talking over" thing was by far the worst, and this ex gaslighted me HARD. I didn't even know what that term was until I came across it months after we broke up. Appreciate the vid (and the reminders!)
I had an ex say, "It shouldn't be too much to expect to be treated like a queen!" Worse still, inside I thought, "OMG is she right? Am I doing it wrong?" 30 years and we're still happily married - just kidding, I think we broke up that week. 😁
💀 😂
You had me in the first half
30 years and we're still happily married... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Red Flags
Her:
"I like being spoiled."
"I'm used to a certain lifestyle."
"I will not delete my bikini instagram pics."
"I need more followers on my IG."
"I like being pampered."
"God will send me a good man."
"I deserve this!"
" #bossbitch "
@@CourtneyRyan I really appreciate your content Courtney I've been watching your videos for over a year now since my junior year now I graduated from college last month
I was involved in a five month relationship with a woman who had all these red flags. Talking to her was like attending an exorcism.
Lol 😆! Really that bad, eh? Good job you got away from the devil...
Lol same
haha
Yuck. I’m sorry dude.
😂
My ex said to me "All women are crazy we(women) just put on a veneer of sanity" ... As a man I took this as gospel as there are no truer words ever said by a woman.
It is true. 99.999% of women are Batshit Crazy.
Courtney - thank you for making this. I was recently dating someone who had #2, #5 and #6.
She would complain about how nearly all men were obtuse and sexist, but then she would talk over me and often dismiss my opinions.
When I take a step back I realize that most of this behavior was driven by insecurities she has. I know it’s not my job to fix her, but I wish I would have called her out in a kind, but teasing type way.
She would talk about toxic men. I feel like the word toxic is overused. What does it mean to you in reference to men or women - people who have so many issues they will drag you down?
If she's constantly posting on social media that she doesn't care what people think about her. Not only does this indicate that she's frequently being told by others that her behavior is bad, it also indicates that she doesn't understand irony. If you're communicating anything about yourself via social media, then yes, you care about what others think about you.
Yes, I see this a lot
women of all ages spend more time on instagram talking talking on and on and sharing endless lingerie and bikini cleavage pics of themselves. The posts go on and on all day everyday. These women live in their own selfish fantasy world, perpetuated by the simps that follow and like their selfish narcissistic posts.
That's why I stopped posting stuff, because I really don't care what other people think.
Everyone, Courtney is right. STAY AWAY from crazy girls. Speaking from experience, you'll be sacrificing so much of your dignity and happiness for someone who wants the sympathy of being the victim but doesn't want to fix anything so they can continue playing the victim and getting sympathy. No one is worth that kind of psychological abuse.
AMEN!
Actually, exercise intelligence and discretion and avoid most women who, these days, seem notably lax in character when it concerns men and relationships. I'm 84 so rest assured I know whereof I speak. I have absolutely no idea how you know "the one." But I do know that only a few couples are heaven sent. Be careful where you put your cock.
I had three relationships like this. Needless to say that
1. I am a fucking idiot and
2. these relationships messed me up big time.
You completely lose yourself, doubt yourself constantly ("is she actually right, am I doing something wrong?" etc.), you're being emotionally drained to the point of severe depression - just to be made to feel bad about being depressed cause you "don't care enough" for your SO.
0/10 don't recommend.
@@simons.2281 I feel you man. I had 3 toxic relationship. And i always do the same mistake. I had doubts at the beginning, leave, they come back and then i make compromise, sacrifice and jump back blindy into this relationship. I recognize my mistake only when its past the end. I feel dumb and weak, need to be more firm with my boundaries.
Possible narcissistic personality disorder there, also lookup borderline.
You are explaining very well, in each video, what situations are or are not within the discussed issue. Reading the situation is very important. You are also very warm and smooth in wording everything
Last woman I was seeing had drama everywhere. Lots of groups of people she didn’t want to be around at work because they thought she was a “B”
She also didn’t know how to fight fair and would just shut down or hang up on me on the phone. We couldn’t resolve anything because she was too immature to discuss problems.
Honestly it's refreshing to hear a woman speak for true femininity and try to bridge the gap that currently exists. It's usually just men talking about it but we need both sexes involved to find a solution this current day problem. Thank you for all that you're doing
@IAlwayswin I feel you mate. I wouldn't blame women for it though because they're internally different from men. I just believe that we should respect both sexes equally and find a middle ground. If we don't, we're headed towards (technically already are in) a major crisis
I second this. It’s very refreshing and it’s nice to have your egalitarian viewpoint here.
@@DrBoX89 Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it. My research work forces me to see things from both sides always so I have it to thank for the trait :)
Please don't fall for it. MEN are making plenty of great content on this topic. This is just a woman trying to monetize MGTOW/MRM. There's no reason to seek out a female for this type of content.
@@genestone4951 ...She's hot tho
I dated a girl who treated me and our relationship like a joke even after I gave her a second chance and I couldn't take it anymore so I walked out on her and even though it hurt I knew it was the right thing to do. 3 months later I find out she was lying to me the whole time and found out she was on onlyfans. Best decision I ever made that day I walked away.
Way to trust your gut. That thing will save you from pain misery and suffering
based
Good on you brother
post link lol
@@pcguysoffgridcabin NOT BEFORE YOU SHARE YOUR MOM'S
A lot of points you mentioned were in my last relationship. We were never able to have open and honest conversations without it becoming an argument, she would always talk over me and finish my sentences even though that wasn't what I was going to say and wouldn't let me say what I was actually going to say. I couldn't be vulnerable with her or even honest so I admit that I resorted to lying or witholding information to avoid conflict. There were some good times, but overall a difficult relationship that I learnt a lot from. Thank you for your video 🙏
I’m glad that someone is speaking out on the whole astrology thing. I never understood the basis for it in the first place and it’s against my moral values anyways but it is a lofty way to go about dating. Having either the same or at least similar moral values that goes beyond looks is key.
She talks about her astrological sign a lot. Nearly every time I've met a woman who is into astrological signs, it's to justify the lunacy in her own life.
Facts lol
I can relate to this one. Hahaha so true.
It also shows she has no brain. Astrology is bunk.
Omg I ran over so many schoolchildren! I’m such a caprisun!
I laughed at that. So true
I had a girl break up with me a few years ago, because I "wasn't man enough for her, because I wouldn't buy her a new car" This was coming from someone who cried about being too stressed out with working 4 hours a day, 3 days a week. I still wonder if she's managed to capture her perfect man😂
She did you a huge favor brother!
@@williamsporing1500 absolutely!
She'd have to beat her perfect man with a club in order to capture him.
Wow! Seriously? What's happening to my sex? God help us
@@rmcneil1340 no idea... can you please rectify?
I’m 55 and at this point ANYTHING a woman says will make me run. While I’ve had quite a few who were great friends, I’ve yet to find one who wasn’t more trouble than she was worth when it came to being in a relationship.
A gold mine of wisdom! Somewhere there is someone implementing one or more of these and being saved a lot of anguish and damage.
I'm 61 and, in my experience, most women have at least one of these, especially the mind reader one. Maybe I've met bad women all my life. I just don't trust my judgement when it comes to choosing women. It's why I quit dating 8 years ago and why I will never get married again.
As far as the mind reader thing is concerned, it's not so bad if she just accepts having made a mistake in predicting you. If she really invests a lot of energy in being angry about it, that's where the problem is.
Wise choice sir
I'm 64 and gave up dating about 8 years ago. I realized that I just don't have what the women I'm attracted to want, and I don't want the women I'm not attracted to. Good thing I've got pets and a hobby.
I thought that when I was younger then I matured and realized it after a very kind man told me.
Me either
I dated a girl once who was fond of telling me, "if you REALLY like me, you would do this for me." I dropped her like a hot potato and never looked back!
Keep up the good work Courtney - you're the best!
Respond with: "If you REALLY loved me... you wouldn't resort to emotional blackmail, and silly mind games." Sadly, I don't think that these women are self-aware enough to see the humor there... 😂
The gaslighting is amusing lmao.
My ex and I lived 2 and a half hours away. She told me if you loved me you would have moved here by now. Thank god I’m out
Classic attempt at control through manipulation.
That ultimatum is an immediate disqualifier
Thanks for spending the time to create and share this content awareness❤️ 🙏🏾
These are all things that I try my best to avoid in any relationship, not just romantic, but also friendships too.
Thanks for this, I’m a girl and didn’t realize I was guilty of some of these behaviours. Gladly not to an extreme but still I’ve made mistakes with these kind of things.
That reflects that you are a genuine person and always improving yourself. I always try to improve myself, knowing that I am not perfect either.
You need to fix yourself
Just want to say that Nana is a great anime. Great pfp.
Nobody is perfect, and kudos for recognizing negative behaviors. The real question is, are you gonna grow and move forward? Or are you gonna remain stagnant?
You can make mistakes, and not be perfect, it is totally fine, what is most important is self awareness, and self reflection.
To be honest my mom has always talked badly about men in her life and would always say, "all men are trash." I've heard this quote since I was a young kid. Needless to say i have the same mentality she does when it comes to it but I'm learning to be more self conscious and having a negative outlook is resulting in my misery. I took a long time to realize this about myself. Your channel is mind opening and I appreciate it so much.
Thank you for sharing this! I’m so happy to help. Hugs! ❤️
Keep up the good work, self development and growth should be a life long process, and fulfilling journey. My personal journey was deprogramming my dads fundamentalist christian indoctrination. Now I'm a Universalist and feel like I can do almost anything I put my mind to. Good luck.
Good to hear. Parental programming is hard to break. This shows that you're becoming your own person.
The women in my family have always talked trash about men. It makes us feel like a piece of shit just for being born. You also feel like everything wrong is your fault because it's always the man's fault. Even when you do your best to do something right but didn't work out. She'll think it's your fault and you probably did it on purpose.
My mother truly believed that any problem in marriage of friends was ALWAYS the man's fault.
Genuinely appreciate you looking out for guys. Not all women have such good self awareness
Courtney....I just subscribed to your channel....Wowie.... You are so articulate in explaining social interaction.....I have learned so much from your straight forward explanations.....thank you for your honesty.....
My ex-wife buried all these things until we were married for a couple of years and then it all started surfacing slowly after our first child. It didn’t truly surface until our second child and then she figured out that it wasn’t about her all the time. It was real work and she didn’t like it. That higher standards for others was definitely there and the birthday needing to be for 1-2 weeks surfaced. Then it was vacations with her girlfriends and not family several times a year and her slow roll into 3rd wave feminism. All her friends had shit marriages while ours was stable. Rather, I was stable. I come from a family that values the sanctity of marriage in good and bad, so I stuck with it even though she changed drastically. I realized that with hindsight that her flags were buried when she was around me until it became too hard for her to disguise. If she had even one of them when we were dating, it would have been done immediately and I’m sure she knew that.
I know men and women can sustain a certain amount of hiding themselves until they just can’t endure it. I would measure a woman, now that I’m almost 50, by the company they keep and for how long. Also, I would look at their family. I ignored that her mother was on her third marriage. When you grow up with three dads, then you might never learn that a husband is something you should fight to keep. Her father was an alcoholic, so how could she trust another man if her father was untrustworthy. When I was in my 20s I didn’t really understand how detrimental that could be to a woman’s mental health and expectation of men. It makes perfect sense now that we are divorced. Dedication, respect, unwavering trust, and loyalty mean nothing to someone that has never seen that growing up. She was not the right person although she played the part until life got hard.
Red flags were there. I just needed to know how to get them to show. Thank you for helping men find them and make the right choices.
You are 100% right. I have ignored the red flags several flags, hence the term love is blind. If you go through this 3-4 times, then everyone thinks it is your fault. People do change after hiding their true self. I do not do that. I communicate my feelings from day one and expect the same from anyone I am involved in. Bad communication is a recipe for relationship failure.
Oh man, that is such a prove to that theory that: " women marry men hoping they will change , while men decide to marry a woman hoping that she will not change".
My ex-wife was a closet dating psycho woman as well. She changed right after we married though. When I confronted her about it, her exact words were "I acted that way during dating otherwise you wouldn't have married me.". Talk about crazy.
@@wetcrow_com yeah, I was totally ok with those flags back then. I didn’t realize how it damages people. I was naive about such things. Men are so lucky that they can share stories and learn from others. I’m sitting my son down when he’s 15 and covering all of this. He already sees his mother differently now that he lives without me in the house. I’ve said nothing, to not denigrate her, but he brings stories of frustration from her anger and drinking binges. It’s sad. I can’t make any moves to get primary custody unless she makes a major mistake. I hope she changes for my son’s sake.
@@daveg4417 As she lied to you going into the marriage ... grounds for an annulment.
I wish I didn't ignore red flags. I used to believe that I can change a girl, but I cannot change a person who doesnt want to change.
You can't change a woman.
Man, I am 30 and I never slept with woman, or man, but I'm not into men so forget that, I was going and still going out for dates, but as soon I see some strange behaviour or something I don't like, I tell them in their face what I don't like, sometimes like on my last date I told her she is crazy and cruel person, I'm not happy I met you goodbye(in polite and calm voice), and then I stood up and left, I know I seem like a big ass, but I think I am actually doing them a favour, if they are smart they will take bad feedback and fix mistake, maybe change themselves for better, but I'm sure many of them won't even try, they will see me as a villain or ass for giving them advice how to be better.
I'm a type of person who would tell my wife 'you are fat' if she asks and she is really fat, that's why it's very important for me to find a girl that is willing to hear bad things and give them as well, so we can work on ourselves and be better.
I speak to one girl online and she seems amazing, but she wants to be friends only, she seems like me in my younger age, thinking with her head, she is only 7 years younger, same mentality as my when I was 23, after few weeks of texting she actually asked me if there is anything I don't like about her so she can work on that to change it for better, I was stunned and amazed, and after I told her she stopped doing that.
@@ryder8328 Probably the modt naive thing I used to believe is that I thought I can change her by just being nice to her.
You just can't change a girl. Or anyone. And expecting someone to want to is also a red flag for my own lack of self esteem. They are who they are. I now follow my intuition and live through my values of self respect and wisdom. They're guiding me well.
I’ve learnt the hard way that you can’t rescue/save/change anyone, and especially so when it comes to heavy drinking.
I've had two great relationships in my life (one still going strong, one ended in loosing my wife of twenty five years to illness). If I could give advice to anyone, it is, you have to want that lady and I mean all of her. If you see a glaring short coming, move on. You need to truly enjoy her company. It takes effort on your part too. If your genuinely thoughtful, when you screw up and you will, it is easier to get back on track. Try not to dig your heels in on anything because then everything is an issue. Learn the art of compromise. That doesn't mean you have to sell the snowmobile. It means that activities that don't involve her should not always be your first priority but thoughtfully planned and talked about ahead of time. We are all built different but I know this to be true, I am happiest in a solid relationship.
These were great. Some obvious, but some quite subtle. Thank You
I once had a girl brag to me about how great she was about cutting people out of her life without caring at all, guess what happened to me, lol. Other notable red flags I've experienced include "I'm not friends with girls they're drama" -if they cannot make friends with their own gender, run. THEY are the drama. Being hot and cold, always take indecision/confusion as a no for your own sake. "I never apologize" is another big one. Everyone makes mistakes, but if you encounter a girl who is not willing to own up and recognize her mistakes, and properly apologize for them, run.
Gaslighting and emotional abuse are also huge red flags that are unfortunately pretty common in women. Women who shame men for having emotions or try to challenge your manliness always show huge red flags. Gaslighting such as calling you crazy when calling out poor behavior or trying to humiliate you in public are huge red flags. Women tend to abuse more socially and emotionally than physically so it is important to recognize these signs early as red flags, or they'll come back to bite you.
I've found that people usually will show you exactly who they are, we tend to just not want to see it when they are the opposite gender.
Al Bundy once said, Don't try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other.
That is incredibly astute..
Yeah, girls cutting people from their lives, run as fast as you can
Very true about girls who can't make friends with other girls. My exp is that they hang out with guys a lot since guys are easy to make friends with any girl that looks good enough, so to say, ignoring her flaws, etc. These girls sometimes have rather loose commitment abilities. Like, they have a boyfriend but are already on the lookout for a new one, etc. constantly trying to upgrade, stuff like that.
This happened to me too, I didn't think it was a big deal and ya in the end she broke up with me. She tried to be friends with me because I think she was still attached to me, idk. I let her string me along for awhile and eventually I realised I wasn't healing and finally cut her off. I expected her to leave me alone but she started hanging out with my friends(which she didn't do even when we were together) all in an effort to get back in my life. She broke up and cut off all her exes so I wonder what made me different. She also has a hard time making friends with other girls.
Courtney, you must have met my ex girlfriend and took notes, she fit every red flag here. She made my life miserable, she was horrible. She broke up with me but I think she thought I would come running back to her, I ran so fast and I honestly felt better emotionally and physically. I was trapped and when she opened the door I couldn't get away fast enough.
honestly my dude, if you're ever with someone and realises ANY of these, just break up with them yourself, that was the last favor your ex did for you, get you rid of her
Wow, where you been all my life Courtney? If I'd heard this 13 years ago I could have avoided so much trouble and loss. Lol. About fell out of my chair listening to it. Recently divorced, and she has a hard legit four of the six red flags and one of the remaining two is debatable. I subscribed immediately and starting my journey listening to more of your content. Thank you so much.
we men barely had any special days. even birthday was mostly dead silence
0:14 - Princess/ Petulant Behavior
1:32 - Negative About Relationships
3:50 - Mind Reader Talk
4:48 - She Calls Herself "Crazy"
6:32 - Not what she says
8:20 - I Hate Men
To be honest I wish I saw this video when I was younger haha. I had such low self esteem I stayed with a girl only for the reason of having a girlfriend. Now I have self respect and these videos are helping me get more confidence in myself. Thank you Courtney!!!
What has to stop is putting women on a pedestal just for being women. The reality is either a woman will be wife or whore. There is no middle ground.
@@MrR40388 Not quite and very disrespectful. I am just saying when I have a relationship with a woman I demand respect and compassion. Thats it !
Ms. Ryan is right. I have experienced some of this stuff first hand and it ended as badly as you can guess.
I’m about 7 years too late on this. She possessed 4/6 and #5 was the worst not only was it chronic interruption but it was things completely unrelated to the things I was talking about. 😢
Who else is a female that’s on here to make sure you don’t say any of these things? Lol i like these videos because it keeps yourself in check because all of us can fall into bad habits. The only one I can say I do is the interrupting sometimes but I’ve gotten way better, it was an anxiety/excitement thing for me. And I honestly hate when women do all these things too especially when they say “men are trash” pa-lease 🙄😒
Lol, I love it! Honestly making these videos helps keep me in check too 😂 I used to be horrible at interrupting as well and it was for the same reason. None of us are perfect! Being willing to grow and make an effort is a green flag in my book 😇 thanks for commenting, Michelle!
I dated a woman whose mother coined the phrase "I hate all men". I never heard any details about her father (which is another red flag in my book). Thankfully I broke up with her before things got too serious.
You was lucky by breaking My ex was like this - she kept relations around only with ladies, there wasn't any good opinion about any known to us or her man included me and my familly with highest level of criticizm. After 22 years we divorced - if I knew more in begining... But she was suppresing it many years and only after many years when she felt stronger on her feet she "nicely" developed narcism too.
Thank you for clarifying things.
OH MY GOD! Thanks a lot for this. I am a sensitive guy and spent my intire life attracting girls like that, trouble makers with serious mental disorders. I didn't want to feel like i am a sexsist person for observing that, but, after this video, i am sure i am not. The "i am crazy" category was "the best" for me. Thanks.
"I'm a vegan" is enough for me.
Courtney- "No one is a mind reader and the girl you're with shouldn't expect you to be one either."
Me-. AMEN, THANK YOU AND YESSSSS MA'AM!
1. Your 'do in the thumbnail is LEGIT.
2. I have met the women you describe here and you are spot on. The birthday month thing, the calling themselves crazy, talking over/controlling/COMPETITIVE - YIKES. I run away and I run FAST. I have also found that once the first red flag is shown, it is inevitable that all of the rest come in short order.
What I dig about your content is that nearly every vid you posts reaffirms that I am already doing, practicing and living what you say - before even watching them. Good to know I am on the right path as a man.
Thank you, Nathaniel! ❤️
I feel like point five of interrupting/finishing sentences is a bit misleading. There's no other way of gauging the pace of the prospective conversations and how else are you supposed to know how many of the same wavelengths you're catching with another person? Talking is a two-way street regardless of context.
@CourtneyRyan, @@Illlium I don't know if it's misleading or not, but the tone, context and phrasing go a long way with deciding if they are being rude or dismissive of what you're trying to say at the time, I feel like Courtney just wanted us to be aware of the negative aspects of it.
I have a habit of finishing people's sentences sometimes. I try not verbally walk over people, but when I'm on the same wavelength with someone I tend to do it, more so if it's something we are both excited about.
God this is so spot on. Explains what I went through in my past
Courtney is incredible .
I just got out of a relationship in which concerning statements occurred.
Looking back I see now more clearly that they were much more of an indication of self perception than anything to do with me.
A customer at my work came in and announced to everyone in earshot that it was her birthday, and everyone, present company excluded, became really nice and complimentary toward her, and she just kept glaring at me with contempt and scorn, because how dare I not give her attention on her birthday....smh....people desperately need to embrace their humility and get over themselves! Thanks for the info, Courtney! You're totally an 11! 👍
I have ignored or justified a few of these warning signs in the past. My (now) ex-wife turned out to have undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) which made the relationship extremely unstable, I would not recommend it. What I would recommend is if at anytime the relationship feels bad or wrong than it's time to 'nope' on out of there. Life is too short to waste it on someone who is only looking for the next sugar-daddy or whipping boy.
You're saying the right things and seem genuine enough but so does most women until a person invests time in that person.
This is a great advice everything you mentioned is true there are two things that I've encountered that have been red-flags when a woman constantly speaks about her ex or X's all the time that is definitely a red flag you don't want to get involved with somebody who can't put you as the only man in a relationship you should not compete with an ex that your partner has broken up with or is not in their life anymore into this is one that really drives me crazy is when women compare you to other men and they're always trying to say that these other men are better than you are that's a no-win situation
The 'All men are trash' thing is pretty clear cut crazy. My exwife had all these signs. Even as a divorced guy, I know there are good women out there, just need to learn from it and not marry crazy.
Next time you hear that I triple dog dare you to ask the girl if she is a dumpster because trash goes in and out of her all the time
My ex didn’t say men are trash but she did blame me for things not going her way even though I had nothing to do with it. She refused to take responsibility for things she did. 🚩watch for this
Great video! Thank you, Courtney!
Thanks so much, Ms. Ryan. It's truly such an aesthetical pleasure just to look at you. You are so beautiful and elegant. And the way you deliver your narrative is also great. You're a perfect storyteller👌
I feel that when someone who is raised in a strict home finds freedom, they over compensate and either go crazy or try to control everything because they lacked power. Just my observation from living with a lot of these.
That's very true
I’ve commented on this lady’s videos before, and she’s excellent. Mature, clear, concise and helped me avoid difficult women in the past, thank you Courtney.
Thank you so much for the kind comment! 🤍
i feeel personally attacked.
@@sofiyahayes 👀
@@sofiyahayes Wtf, your offended for something that wasn't even involving you, wth did you smoked !? 🙄🤨
Wooosh
Thank you , Courtney. I've always liked your content. It's always refreshing and encouraging to hear your advice . I'm so glad there are still women like you ( intelligent , aware , and grounded in reality). And in case you haven't been reminded today, you're also very beautiful.
Hi Courtney! I just gotta say, you are my new therapist [ LOL ]...no really.
You are very grounded, realistic, and logical. I wish I had watched your vids when I was in my 20's, but alas...I'm 64. Being said, you have helped me understand my past experiences and made me feel better about myself.
Rock on Amiga ;-)
Omg this hits close to home. I'm a divorced 47 year old guy. Since 2017 I've had 5 girlfriends, that I all met on dating sites, 4 out of 5 was Tinder and the 5th Bumble. All of them were so SOOO toxic yet seemed great in the beginning. I relate to EVERY point you made. Thank you for making this content because there's millions it seems, of videos warning women about toxic guys in the dating scene and being a man I can admit there's a lot of douchebags, but there's a lot of us quality men too. My question is: if a woman isn't directly talking in general terms negatively about men per se, but, she very overemphasizes how great and awesome women are, is that basically the same thing as misandrist speech and attitudes? A woman I was dating earlier in the spring who I'm not with anymore (because of all the red flags) on our first date when we were hanging out at her house and talking about music and watching CZcams on her big screen TV kept going to these '
"I am woman, hear me roar" songs and clips, one in particular was by a Mongolian instrumental band called the Hu with guest singer Lizzie Hale from Halestorm called "A Woman's Song" I am not misogynist in the slightest but I actually found the song kinda offensive because the lyrics were stating that only women have admirable traits. But moreso my ex girlfriend's reaction to it, she was singing along and her commentary was like "yeah in Mongolia women are in charge and never disrespected" I nicely made the reply and questioned "well shouldn't it also be not cool to disrespect a man?" She just shrugged that off and I remember ar the time getting the clear feeling she had contempt for men
I once ran into one woman that said all men are pedophiles and that she has a stalker...
Her mother also pretended to be her online... She also had an unusually involved relationship with her brothers girlfriend... Pretty crazy...
Run
This is really helpful, thanks.
I just realized that since getting out of an extremely toxic relationship, I don't make it the only topic of conversation, but I have talked about my ex more than I should. Thank you for posting this video. It really opened up my eyes to some negative attributes that I have developed and need to change.
I've been on dates/dated women that do all these things. At first I used to judge them but now I just wish them well and move on. Great video thanks for posting!
Excellent video! I've dealt with all these issues and you're spot on. Number 7 is when she gives an ultimatum (and demands u join the Navy) the third time she pressures u to get married when u made it very clear both times before that you'd be the man and propose to her if and when u were ready. BYE! ✌🏼🍾🎆
This is about time: an honest and reasonable advice from someone about some (though not all of course) women on dating. Thank you.
I used to know a girl that would say "guys are so dumb". I think this falls in the same category as "all men are trash". It's generalizing a whole gender and shows that they don't respect men.
I've also met women who would say that "all girls are crazy" and think that their toxic behaviors were normal. My encounters with women who think this way were not pleasant.
A toxic person, is a toxic person, regardless of gender and these red flags can be applied to anyone. I think they mostly point to insecurities people have within themselves and are manifested outwardly in different ways. It's a good list, so take note people and work on insecurity issues within yourself for the betterment of all, I am.
So true, I've had all of these, word for word - of course there are underlying issues that are usually at play. How common is it that a woman like this hides it, or most of it, with the occasional red flag until they're married or have kids, then suddenly there is no holding back on their abusive traits?
She just threw basically every girl under the bus.
Amazing content! Your insight is helping me navigate the dating world.
I think another red flag is if she says to you: “if you want to see me again, we will go here instead.” Or, “if you want to see me again, you have to do this.” The ultimatums are a huge red flag, expressing narcissistic qualities.
I’ve had this happen to me before. I took out a girl to dinner (third date) and she didn’t like the food at all. She made a big deal about the restaurant and told me that the food tasted like sand. Right there, I knew it was time to cut ties.
Once the date was over, she said to me: “if you want to see me again, I’ll be picking the restaurant next time.” I internalized it for a bit, until I told her that I was done.
No one should be disrespected when you’re putting your best foot forward, especially when it is getting to know someone.
Thanks for sharing your experience and insights!
CONTROL,CONTROL,CONTROL!!!
The ultimatums are shit tests. Not worth the effort it takes to pass them.
"The moment I heard her say 'get out of my life' I knew it was over"- Lt. Frank Drebin, Police Squad
Except when she calls you and profusely apologizes and you go over to her house and you find her butt-necked and spread-eagle on her bed and she wants you to spank her.
I've watched most of your videos. For me personally, your fashion tips help the most. Fortunately (or unfortunately?) I usually already have figured most of this out for myself. But that FORTE hair pomade does wonders just by itself. Over the summer a lot of girls ran their hands through my hair! 😂❤
Great advice. Thanks Courtney.
You are spot on with your list and if even one guy hears this and heeds your advice, he will save himself a lifetime of hurt. I should know, I have been married to a woman like this for almost 30 years and wasn't secure enough in myself to walk away when just about every one of your red flags manifested itself. I hope a lot of guys watch this and take it to heart.
Lots of people, both men and women, still throw temper tantrums and act like infants.
My mother and her mother were like this, so was my mother's brother as well as my own brother. It is a trait from my mother's side of the family. Luckily I do not have it myself.
All of this applies to both genders, of course.
Your choice of friends often says a lot about you.
In suspended adolescence
@@charlied8882 In my parents' case they were both in suspended childhood.
True I’ve been there and she really did my brain in. I was devastated when the relationship ended but that was the best thing to happen as it freed me to find a wonderful woman with no red flag traits
I just left a 4 month relationship with a woman and here are a few things she did that this video touchs on. She talked about her negative relationships, how women are better than men and I should have known that she liked white roses after I sent her 24 long stem Red roses. She hated her job, boss, most coworkers and clients as well and was always complaing about work.
Just got out of a short relationship with a girl that had so many red flags but we had such a connection i literally just ignored them. My gut was screaming at me that it wasnt a good idea to be with her. On the first date she talked poorly about all her exes and most of her work collegues (but she was in the middle of switching jobs so i thought that the stress might just be overbearing) she overshared intimate details of her past friends and exs and when i asked her why she does it and that i didnt want to hear it she turned it around on me. She had a hairline trigger and could be set off at any moment 6 weeks in and she was already doing a lot of the narcassistic punishment/deflecting/deniability and i already felt like i was on eggshells with her. The last straw was when i called her out for doing something shady she played dumb, acting like she had no idea wut i was talking about, i held my ground, she minimized, so i called it right then and there. I know I am a contributing factor as i still struggle to communicate clearly and patiently when I need to talk about something. Tbh i felt like i needed to keep working on myself because of the whole experience. It was a shame too because there was so much potential there. When i told her i needed to work on me more and couldnt continue with her she immediately cussed me out and blocked me on all forms of contact and that was it. But i am grateful for the experience because I can see how i failed to hold my ground and apologised for things i didnt do, also i can get pretty worked up too, not anything out of the ordinary, but i gotta learn how to be in control of my emotions more. I need someone who knows how to communicate and knows how to agree to disagree
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She was sent to you for a reason, glad you learned that valuable lesson.
Dont let their behavior shift your own belief about yourself. Narcissistic gals cant be foxed so it's not your "bad" to make good on.
You did the best you could with a toxic peraon. High 5 bro
Narcissists are good at love bombing and pulling you in creating a horrible conflict within yourself
Hey, I interrupt because grew up in a big household and we had to fight to be heard. Always ask! People like me don't do it on purpose!!
Another great tips thank you for another teaching ❤
This is fantastic information Courtney, especially coming from a woman. One thing that I would love to see addressed more from therapists and other experts like you who talk about relationship issues, red flags and personality disorders on CZcams is the distinction on inappropriate behavior at the beginning of a relationship vs in a committed relationship (common-law or married).
I have an Ex who within 7 days of our first date she told me she was in love with me. 9 days after we met she introduced me to her Special Needs kids, who were almost 18 and had seen many guys come and go. Within a month she was pushing me to move in. I cut her a LOT of slack because of the situations she was dealing with.
The romance, passion and chemistry between us was off the charts. Many of her behaviors were aggressively manipulative and controlling because I was playing the savior and chose to go down the rabbit hole with her. That's on me. But my point is some of her behaviors and expectations would be normal if they were at an appropriate stage in the relationship, not within a few weeks or a month!
As I said I would love you to do videos on how to DEVELOP a healthy, conscious, balanced relationship, understanding that everyone is different and the pace isn't written in stone. I think for education, some sort of guidelines could be very useful though!!
Thank you for mentioning the mind reader! I hate it when women expect men to know/do things.
So, I just want to thank you for giving good advice so consistently. I've experimented by doing your do's with the women I like, and actively practiced the don'ts for the women I wanted to leave me the fuck alone, and both worked like a charm. God bless you.