5 Things Women Say That Are Red Flags (Every Guy Needs To Know This)
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- čas přidán 13. 12. 2022
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Here's the summary:
1. I have options
2. How much money do you make?
3. I don't accept coffee dates
4. All my exes are crazy
5. I'm the prize
Y'all are welcome!! 🙂
Great work! 👍🏻
Walk away from dating….you’re welcome
You saved me 10 minutes . Thanks
She: "I have options" Me: "So do I"
She: "How much money do you make?" Me: "Enough for a comfortable life."
She: "I don't accept coffee dates." Me: "Ehm, okay, maybe another time then. See ya."
She: "All my exes are crazy." Me: "I can imagine why."
She: "I'm the prize." Me: "Says who?"
@@jinpachibobochan3532 exactly
"All of my boyfriends were toxic." She's projecting. She's the toxic one.
Or they were but what is wrong with a person who chooses those kind of guys
Hmm, I think in those cases it's usually her having fondness for a special type of guy. You might want to look into her ex-boyfriends and try to figure out what they have in common. Then you might even end up finding traits you share with them as well. Then you start to realize you are crazy, too.
That's the time when you shall prepare to jump the boat after the party is over.
Especially important is how they disclose it, and the number of guys. If "all her boyfriends are toxic" but it's only been 2-3 people, it's concerning and becoming a pattern and she needs to learn to investigate her choosing patterns and re-evaluate who she dates. If it's several men and she's adamant that she did nothing wrong and has in no way contributed to those problematic relationships, run for the fucking hills.
My ex-wife thought everyone else had a mental illness and should seek help.
Turns out it was just her.
And you can be the next one !
Guys, take it from me. I ignored all of the early red flags from my ex simply because she was absolutely gorgeous and to put it lightly, very intimate if you know what I mean. Aside from that, nothing good came from that relationship. If you receive a red flag, walk away. You’ll thank me later.
Amen
O.k., who is she? I want to try myself- for scientific purposes only!
hit it & quit it.
@@matthiasweidmann8135 That would be a hell of a risky experiment. Haven’t seen or heard from her in over decade but I’m sure she’s still as spiteful and emotionally unstable as ever.
Certain women start out with a shit foundation and build shit on it because they don't need to do anything else -- their looks allow them to get away with it. For a time.
That said, a man with proper self-respect will walk away from a gorgeous woman with a shit psyche in a heartbeat.
So really, who is the problem here?
One of my female workmates once asked me if I wanted to go for a walk with her during our lunch break. It wasn't anything romantic, but I was so flattered and honoured that she even wanted to go on a mere walk with me, that I happily accepted. And we enjoyed each other's company during our time together.
My point is, Courtney is right. The simplest things you can do with a girl always end up being the best things. If these girls can't appreciate something as simple as a picnic, coffee date or even just a walk in the park to get ice cream...if they can't appreciate the simple things, they won't appreciate the bigger things. It'll be meaningless. And that's sad.
i hear there's a lot of girls who will even just go on dates to get free meals. wtf is wrong with ppl?? the entitlement is outlandish.
yeah, if they can't do coffee or simple things, they aren't trying to get to know you is my take. or they are stuck on perceptions (i'm so fancy guys take me out to xyz places), are shallow AF, and are basically a waste of time.
My wife and I (and chaperones) went to the park and ate oranges.
Folks get their ego caught up from having their phone in their face too much. You're making decisions to get the approval of people who you have no idea of their real motivation for putting these ideas in your head, It's pretty insecure shallow stuff. The irony being you have coffee dates to spot this kind of person. It seems like it works too.
I've had so many older people who are in committed relationships tell me "If I were single, I would not want to date right now". Says a lot.
Yep I’ve heard that plenty of times from ppl currently in a relationship
I've seen many older people in miserable marriages who wish they were single
This has been side by millions going back to the 1950's!
Put me down for 1.
Married 27 years. Weve been us for 30. Besties for 35. Weve never strayed. Weve never lied (birthday parties and gifts dont count lol)
We both came with family baggage and we worked on it together.
First statements? That shit stops with us.
Second. No infidelity. Blood in, blood out. Our mutual statements made us sound like mobsters lol.
Our daughter has reeped the benefirs of our relationship :)
I feel for the young folks.
Society wasnt perfect in the mid 80s when i graduated but damn!
As someone who has been sober for 20 years, my biggest red flag on a first date was: "oh, you don't drink".. and they look away. If it's so important that I drink alcohol and they can't accept that I don't.. It's not going to work. My wife was actually happy that I told her I didn't drink when we met at a bar for our first date. She just expected most guys she met online to want to get drunk on dates. That was one reason I knew she was a keeper.
Yes, I would red flag you too. Incompatible lifestyles, enjoy your sobriety.
@@contumelious-8440 If a person admitted they were an addict and were abusing drugs from the get go... Would that somehow be more attractive?
I feel like a weirdo who doesn't drink. Everyone my age or younger does. Makes finding a decent women almost impossible feeling.
@@evansmith8824 I dont know how old you are but I will say this. My observation is that the people who avoided drugs and alcohol in their teen and early adult years do very well in life. Seriously, they do. Please be true to yourself. Be OK with being different. Question your personal decision making and take care of your body and mind. There are sober people out there and you will meet them. You may have to let go of some of your "lets get high" friends. Hang out with healthy people who are happy and on a path to personal success. Not always easy I know.
@Shre Halloway A lot of people, that's who. Apparently you haven't been on the apps much.
I am so glad that back in the seventies, dating was rather simple. You go skating, meet a girl that fell while trying to skate backwards, rush to her aid, date for two years, marry , and have 46 years of happy marriage. Well, in two more months it will be 46 years.
It was the last time that I was going to go to this rink and then I met my soulmate. I don't care what anyone thinks about fate but, I believe in it. Good luck to all you guys!
Oh! You had those good times. We have to relearn what Adam and eve had by instinct and we forgot over generations how to build opposite sex relationships.
🎶🎵”S-A-T-U-R, D-A-Y, NIGHT!”
@@keftam Adam to Eve, "Hey, nice leaf"! Eve to Adam , "I bet you say that to all of ....................never mind"!
IM 70 and these women were pretty. Common then too. I THINK YOU HAVE A CASE OF DELUSIONAL GOOD OLE DAYS SYNDROME
I once knew a woman (we didn't date or anything) who told me that she rejected her boyfriend's proposals THREE times. She said the reason why she rejected them wasn't because she didn't want to marry him, but that he got the wrong ring each time. That was a big red flag moment for me that resonates with what you're saying about the woman not appreciating the man's time (and in my example, dedication to her).
A red flag for me is if I see that a woman's favorite show is "Keeping up with the Kardashians", "Real housewives of anything" or any relationship reality TV show. They almost always have unrealistic approaches to life.
ew. i would walk on account of that merely because the perceived IQ level i'd get off of that feels like single digits. (at the very least, it points to being quite shallow.)
Though if her favorite show is Keeping Up Appearances, she's a keeper.
I am female and I would also walk away from that.
“All my exes are crazy”
So many girls says this. It’s like a universal thing women say these days. It’s usually followed by “I just want a caring, sweet, funny guy who likes me for who I am” or something similar. Then I ask “so why do keep picking the guys who aren’t caring, sweet and like you for you?”
Crickets. Texts go silent, or I get blank stare if in person. 😐
To conclude, it’s a red flag lol
It's a stupid question. No wonder they red flag you, lol.
You expected her to know exactly who a person was before she got involved. I am sure YOU have never found out something you didn't like AFTER you became involved, right?
Did you pick the exact right woman for you the first time and you are now married to her and have 2.5 children? NO you fucking hypocrite.
@@contumelious-8440 are you okay? You’re taking this really personal. Guess I touched a nerve.
And no, I don’t continually date the same type of woman with the same type of issues. Single mom? Stripper? Been there and done that when I was young. I’m not still seeking out these types of women. But most women will still try to justify their bad choices. They’ll say “I can change him” etc. Or maybe they’re just attracted to the flaws to begin with. The difference is that I learn from my mistakes. Far too many don’t and that’s what is hypocritical. Glad I could teach you something lol
Lol, blank stare in person, ask her if shes up for a game of poker.
i think they chose the guys they describe but then they want to act like they are single so those guys start to become "toxic" and "controlling" to try to stay with her but she keeps being a bimbo whore so they end up leaving.
they are the same women that say "my past doesnt matter" its like lady, how can i take you for who you are, if i dont even know who you WERE.
My ex-girlfriend has purposely sabotaged absolutely every relationship she's even been in. In fact, one of her boyfriends in recent times found me on facebook, asked to meet me (which I did), and pretty much wanted to reassured that it wasn't just him who she did all this too. She was treating him as appallingly as she treated everyone else before, including myself.
same here,she could be a bpd or npd if did that with all of her boyfriends
@@josephjustme9206 Ya, and probably still causing problems somewhere right now.
Same with me ex… I thought that I was the problem. Than I realized my ex manipulated all her exs. Luckily I didn’t have a kid with her. The other two exs did…. And their relationship was hectic
@@joev7014 Thanks for reply. Yes, she will go on doing that all her life and probably never take responsibility at any time. The only way of dealing with people like that is to keep away from them.
@@JSL2000 100%. It’s usually the hot ones too with many options that act like they don’t need to be accountable for anything. They have guys that will just take her as is but the relationship fails when it starts getting serious… These type of woman are left better in the streets. No one can change them. They need to change themselves
“I know she’s been married 3 times and has 4 kids from 4 other men, two of which were not connected to one of her husbands, but darn it!! I can fix her!” - Beta Bob 2019
Raising another man's kid who previously fkd your wife ... that's gotta be a hellish existence. I will pray for those men.
I went out with a girl in the summer, and whilst we were talking she straight up told me she’s a compulsive liar. On the one hand it was an obvious red flag, but at the same time it was so incredibly honest I was genuinely surprised. The irony of it all is pretty funny.
Wow, that reminds me of Rollins Band "Liar" song which humorously captured that narcissistic dating spirit. 😁
Lol this is embarrassingly true 😭
how did it end?
Did you ask her if that was a lie?
"but at the same time it was so incredibly honest", but she told you shes a compulsive liar and thats the issue. How can you believe anything from then on?
As a married man of 8 years now, it's so crazy how the dating market has changed since I last dated in 2014. My advice is to be the best version of yourself, don't play games, be confident and communicate your intentions.
Agreed ❤️
Thanks Alex, absolute hero you are
Yeah im also a spectator lol its crazy
@@bengalboypaco3140 mate its hard in these streets, I'm not even 18 yet 😭
@@mundea oof a gen Z kid. Don’t play the “im the victim” card and be tough! But the rest of us see the writing on the wall for your generation and it’s not so good. Good luck young man, be strong!
Her: "I have options."
Me: "I suggest you exercise one or more of those options because I'm not an option."
Her: "How much money do you make?"
Me: "None. I earn it."
Her: "I don't accept coffee dates."
Me: "Awesome. You just saved me ten dollars."
Her: "All my exes are crazy."
Me: "Tell me more..." 👀👀
Her: "I'm the prize."
Me: "So like, Cracker Jack?"
😂😂😂
You might want to consider these to be even more brutal:
Her: "I have options."
Me: "I have options too, and you are not one of it."
Her: "How much money do you make?"
Me: "How much is it don't matter cuz you're getting zero dollar out of it"
Her: "I don't accept coffee dates."
Me: "You shouldn't even get the chance of coffee dates."
Her: "All my exes are crazy."
Me: "That means you are even crazier"
Her: "I'm the prize."
Me: "No, you are the penalty"
When I was telling my girlfriend at the time how I was feeling about what she did to me, she said "oh yeah because you are so perfect" I just couldnt ever tell her or confront her about stuff without her getting upset and toxic.
Never talk about your feelings with a women that you want to fuck. Talk about that stuff with a female friend are or your buddies.
Women experience lower attraction when a guy does something that her instinct interprets as approval seeking behavior and neediness. When you talk about feelings without specifying how you took charge to resolve the situation, she experiences lower attraction to you.
yeah PASS. that never gets better. (those types of people) in fact, it gets worse. :/
Your girlfriend was playing a classic, passive-aggressive, emotional blackmail 'game'** which has been called "The Wooden Leg" in which a person with a 'limitation' or 'disability', is triggered into 'Victim' mode and from there undermines the integrity of the person giving honest feedback, or offering help...
[** a 'game' or 'control drama' is an interaction pattern that makes the player feel good at the expense of the other person]
Like all emotional blackmail 'games', the knee-jerk impulse to extinguish a 'discomfort trigger source' rather than be emotionally responsible, is both self-sabotaging [blocks learning/growth/problem-solving] and relationship-toxic.
-----
@@silaszebedee9331 First of all, what is the point of telling someone else, in his position? The point of telling his girlfriend is that she is the one who hurt him, therefore she is the one who needs to apologize and take steps to change her behavior if she wants the relationship to continue being healthy. Telling a friend would not work towards solving the issue in this way. Talking to her about this problem IS taking charge to resolve the situation.
And secondly, the girlfriend's attitude here seems to have very little to do with her attraction to him, from what I understand. It is simply pure self-centeredness, using the unspecified faults of another person to justify the specified faults of your own, instead of admitting to your own faults and working to improve yourself. She probably acts this way toward everyone, not just her boyfriend, because she can't bear to take a hard look at herself in a mirror, not because she thinks he is weak.
Unfortunately this is far more common than most realize.
My biggest red flag is when a woman asks me to buy or pay for something in the first few days of talking. So I’ve started telling women “I won’t be giving any money away because we haven’t met in person yet.”
@InThisTogether I tell them after they ask and usually I tell them they aren’t my type after that. I’m an old fashioned type guy where I will pay for the first date. I’m not looking to be someone’s atm.
If someone says to me, “I have options” I’ll say, “So do I.”
I would reply with "Well, you just lost one" and just ghost her.
My reply would be "are you a stock broker then I am buying"
I haven't dated any women, so I'd go with "That means that I'm not your last choice, thanks."
my reply.........."based on what you've told me you better have someone to help you make plans on those options"
One time a woman I worked with thought she was flirting with me. She described several dates she'd been on recently, even mentioning the guy's names. Then she smiled at me, and asked, "Do you want to join my harem?"
I deadpanned her for a few seconds and said, "I don't want to be part of anyone's harem." And I turned and walked away. She looked shocked and had nothing to say. So I carefully avoided talking to her from then on.
You should have replied, “So how many girls will there be in that harem you’re putting together for me?
@@Mike__G She had me at "DO you want to..."
She wanted to add you to her list of men that fell in love with her and she destroyed ... she's a narcissist.
My reply: "This sounds absolutely horrible. Why do you even believe this might be an attractive proposition?"
The best one a gal ever told me was "My ex was always mad because I spent money on other men," I could not end the date fast enough.
Women who love to brag about having "options" usually just say that to give an insecure man the idea that she could leave him at any moment. I have no problem letting women leave and exercise their options if they're constantly bragging about it because 9 times out of 10 it's usually not true and they end up trying to come back. I have other options, too: basketball, pool, bowling, mini golf, video games, pro wrestling, drawing, reading, etc. See all those options? Wonderful. By the way, you look lovely in that pink sweater Courtney 🌹
Thank you my friend! 💗
If they had so many ''good" options why are they single. The options are usually for hook ups which women can get fairly easily.
Yeah don't live with the sword of democles over your head it isn't worth it.
"I'm the prize" implies that dating is a game, and it has a finish, and a reward. The reward for dating is an ongoing relationship that will be years of WORK. It's a job interview, no one wants to "win" a job they don't want. or can't do. It's a signup to a lifetime of growth, learning, opportunities, and failures. It's a chance to intertwine your lives for better or worse, because both will come.
Well said!!! 💯
Amen
Women are always waiting at the finish line instead of being part of the “race” and supporting us men through our hard times.
I'm the prize means you are looking for a free ride and anyone with money is no longer taking you seriously.
I told the girls I was interviewing them for the position of wife.
I got out of an 11-year relationship/marriage in 2020. Things have really changed since I met my ex in 2009. Also, the "all my exes are crazy" girl is often times projecting her own craziness upon her exes. If you get into a relationship with her, and you guys break up. Guess what? You'll be the next crazy guy on her next date.
I dated a woman who'd been married three times by the time she was 52. She was playing the field & made the proclamation "I'm a catch."
"Yeah, catch & release" I said.
“How much money do you make?”
There was a thread on AskWomen lately talking about this. Almost all the women said that they ask this question within the first few dates. I found that appalling personally, so clear what their priorities are.
I haven't had that kind of question (yet), but I think I would answer "Why? Do you want them?".
@@mrg2803 LOL, red flag right there. You lost.
"The amount of money a man makes is between him and the professionals down at the H&R Block." - Hank Hill
That’s so sad. I think the most important thing is to know what the other person is interested in…
At that point, just lie and say 100k+, smash at a hotel, and then ghost.
The options part , I had it said to me differently back many years ago, ( early 90s ) I had a woman among her girlfriends tell me, women sleep with who they want, men sleep with who they can, as her friends all shook their heads in agreement, now keep in mind the young women of today have been raised by these very women who told me that
This is a great comment and should be pinned. Courtney could probably make a whole video on your statement alone!
@@GoodTimeBikes I'm trying to show the only thing that has changed is how technology is used today, but women have always had this entitled attitude when it comes to men, and I was being kind sleep with wasn't the word she used, it was fuck
@@nightfangs2910 I think you’re correct to an extent but I believe female habits get worse as our culture changes and insists they need to “free themselves sexually” to be a “strong woman.” In reality they screw around in their 20s, hit 30 and still want men to consider them “high value” but they’re actually as attractive as a used barf bag. After all who wants a wife who’s been passed around like a pipe at a crack convention?
@@GoodTimeBikes when I was young it was the same thing, maybe not as many slept around but a lot of them did in their 20s I met a lot of single mothers back then in my early 20s, same shit different generation, being older I see where a lot of these young women get their attitudes from their mothers
@@nightfangs2910 yep a rotten tree produces rotten fruit haha btw dating apps are riddled with so many single moms it’s pathetic
I once had a woman ask me, within the first 15 minutes of meeting me, "So how much do you make?"
My answer was simple. I asked, "Why? How much do you cost?"
🤣
We need more girls like you, physically and mentally
When I lived in Hong Kong and Shenzhen, China, 19 out of 20 girls would use beauty filters on their online dating. Some were obvious because it's over processed but many weren't. [Shakes my fist on these apps]
Despite my huge ego boost in getting huge amounts of matches online, it exhausted me from the constant disappointment when meeting in person.
I learned fast to only have coffee dates to determine if physical attraction and chemistry is met in person before planning for an actual date. If a girl can't accept that, red flag, like Courtney says.
In the US 9 out of 10 women are way fatter than their profile pics.
Video Chat works too pal, especially these days lol
@@SliceofCheeze nah man, I tried that. Girls would resist and wouldn't opt in. 🤷🏻♂️ This was PreCovid
@@williamlee7782 LOL that probably means theyre a catfish if they won't videochat ya
i hate filters for this reason. also, it *blows my mind* what these people are thinking! like.... do they not think "hey, i basically am a fraud"? the other person is going to find out - the MOMENT THEY MEET YOU. like, wtf??
“All my exes are crazy” reminds me of this girl I used to have a crush on. She called everyone’s actions as toxic. It almost felt like it was her favorite word when describing what seemed to me normal behavior. While everyone else just avoided her calling her a bitch. Now that I have distance from her I realize she was just a bad egg. I’m probably also now labeled toxic.
It's 2022. Calling a woman a woman instead of a "birthing person", labels us toxic. 🤦♂
@@thatHARVguy it’s crazy man, I actually heard this twice from women. It seems demeaning to me but that’s what some really want to be called.
@@your_couzen8163 Too bad. Be toxic if that's how it's gonna be.
"all my exes are crazy, and abusive, and cheaters" reminds me of my first ex. Who during the first lockdown i allowed to stay in my all boys flat. One night i told her its boys night in the lounge and she cant hang out in the lounge. She proceeded to call her brother crying saying i locked her in my room. Her brother proceeded to message me abuse, threatening me and shit.
lmfao facts.
Love your thinking and agree. I often see women say on their web pages something similar, "I know my worth."
"All my exes are crazy" you are correct that the common denominator is you. But it goes way deeper than that. This is not just a sign that we have poor taste, but there are major confidence and or insecurity issues at play. Especially if they haven't spent a day in therapy. I've been in therapy for years and the first exercise my therapist did was make a list of my exes, was the relationship healthy or toxic. There is a reason you are attracting that type of person. Confident people don't attract toxic or crazy
Sooo true
Confident people are prome targets for those with NPD.
@@itsspoodini someone who is confident and emotionally intelligent will spot a narcissist from a mile away. A narcissist can't keep up the act for long and will show signs very early. Example: a narcissist's relationships need to progress very quickly because they aren't naturally a pleasant person to be around. Someone who is confident and secure will stop and ask why this is moving so quickly, resulting in either love bombing or the narcissist accusing their partner of not validating their feelings. Both major red flags to the healthy partner. This is typically when the relationship will end.
When she says, "I like you." I know she has horrible judgment, and I should run.
I wouldn’t date someone who would date me either 😂 BUT if I ever make it big on CZcams I’ll retract my statement lol
I'm a guy in my late 30's, and the dating world is awful today. I definitely noticed a change over the past 10 + years!
It's definitely changed. Personally, the red flags haven't changed. Most of these videos are targeting 20-30 year olds who still haven't figured out women or themselves. The reality is most of this, men should have figured out in their early 20s (my generation did, but there's an enormous maturation rate difference between Gen X and Z). Pain in the ass people were so 10 years ago, the same as today. The main difference I've experienced in dating now is that women in their late 30s and early 40s heavily weigh politics into who they date where 10-15 years ago, no one discussed politics on a dating app or on dates. The divisiveness and hate between political parties is very visible in dating profiles.
Yeah you're right it's a jungle out there brother Good luck to you huh remember you deserve a decent person never let anyone take that from you
@@Swearengen1980 that's totally fine. Politics are values. Do you belong to a party that supports racism, xenophobia and transphobia? That's something you need to know in advance.
@@747Durango That's the type of self righteous bullshit that makes it a problem. The Republican party in no way supports any of that shit and you have no evidence to show it does other than that's what the media keeps telling you. It's not transphobic to say that men can't have babies. That's a biological fact. No one is denying any group their constitutional rights. On the other hand, you have liberals like you apparently that call everyone racist who doesn't think exactly as you do. You "all inclusive, peaceful, loving" liberals are the most hateful, bigoted people out there. Republicans don't dox people and try to ruin their lives for them having a different opinion, liberals do. It's not transphobic to say that 3 year olds can't be trans and there shouldn't be drag queens at schools or anywhere else with 9 year olds tucking money into their g-string as they simulate banging a dude in the ass. If you want to stereotype everyone into 1 group the way you did all Republicans, then all liberals are pedophiles and groomers. Why else do you want a 10 year old boy to know how to find gay men on a sex app the way some school books have taught them? You want to change pedophile to "minor attracted person" because it's wrong to stigmatize a 50 year old who wants to fuck a 9 year old. Let's not forget, it's Biden who has repeatedly said racist shit over the years. You're not black if you didn't vote for me. The left wing attacks on Clarence Thomas, Candace Owens, and many others because they don't fit into YOUR stereotype of what a black person should be and that means you can't control their vote. That makes you every bit as racist as anyone you're trying to label as one. Pure hypocrisy.
@@747Durango Do you belong to a party that supports becoming a 3rd world power under the thumb of china? Or one that loves forcing their beliefs onto others, rather than live and let live? Both parties are crap.
Several of your examples fit my ex-wife perfectly. I messed up in getting married to her. Later she admitted she was diagnosed with mental illness called bipolar, Nine years of hell for me.
if she has a severe lack of accountability, it might actually be borderline personality disorder. they mimic each other. (one of my best friends has bipolar, but the compassion and accountability is absolutely present. my ex? not so much. ex had BPD.)
Thank you for the heads up. Even though I’m still single and not expecting to find romance, it’s always good to keep things like this in mind.
One to add: I'm only available to go out on dates with you during the week because my weekends are always booked up.
A red flag for me is any version of what I refer to as the "I'm not perfect, but he's worse" speech. That's when someone will technically admit to having made mistakes, being at fault in some way, but things that other people did were worse. Or somehow what the other person did justifies your bad behaviour.
I've never heard that one before but it kind of sounds narcissistic, especially if she's trying to control him and he stands up for himself, which is a sign of an abusive woman, but if she says he's worse then it sounds like she's trying to control him and she doesn't like the fact that she can't
@@drip369 Or, he was a worse person and treated her badly. 0.0 I swear this channel just attracts men who passive-aggressively hate women.
Your channel has been really helpful! Thanks for trying to help guys in this extremely difficult dating world! Its crazy hard to meet ladies without seeming weird or creepy! I have had absolutely zero luck on online dating. 43 years old, I feel like I'm a decent looking guy. My gal friends all say I'm a great catch, but here I am single and don't seem to get noticed.
Same here man. Hey you got a like from Courtney, all I got was this fake prize thing!
Don't listen to what your friends say, look up the Blackpill and find out if you are objectively attractive or not. It can explain a lot about why you don't get noticed.
Your're so clear with all the points, great advice in general!
Know yourself, know what you want, set standards snd boundaries, have self respect and love yourself, stick to your standards. It’s really that simple (but not so simple in reality). It’s easy to not have negativity and drama in your life. Honor yourself and avoid snd/or walk away from any person or situation that goes not meet your standards and does not improve your life. That applies to friends, job, education, romance - everything. 😊
Good stuff man. THIS is the secret to inner peace.
This is good advice. Ta.
I have had really bad relationships in the past and when a girl asks me about them I just say we just grew apart not throwing blame on either of us it seems to help a lot.
Coach corey wayne?
@@bartdegryse9345 you read the book 10 to 15 times yet?
My (now) wife told me when we first met that she thought that "trying to be fair, to be just, is pathetic" and that she would never do that.
I laughed, thinking it was a joke.
I really like that you put yourself in the man's shoes as well like to see a fellow empath it's really comforting
Courtney, that is definitely your color. It makes your natural features pop. And I just found out, congrats on your engagement, so happy for you!
I felt it right at the start of the video, this pink color really makes her shine more than usual.
Thank you Courtney for looking out for us. It’s sad but true, a lot of people seem to not understand or can’t notice a red flag. Understanding and knowing different types of red flags can save you.
I've had enough bad relationships where I simply don't even want to bother anymore and my friends simply can't understand that. I try to tell them, but their brains can't wrap their heads around the fact that I'm not an animal obsessed with chasing a female down. I don't have the time, patience, energy, or ability to trust. And sleeping with someone random has no appeal.
Thanks for being so aware of what others of your sex are saying. It's really helpful to guys that have little experience dating. I haven't heard some of the things you've stated that you've heard used, e.g., a female saying "I'm the prize," but it's always a red flag when anyone of either sex has to brag to get attention.
Probably a different comment you haven't heard: thanks for sharing your "shock" looks with us, usually right after some female said something you objected to. You made me laugh!
It isn't impossible to date, but it is very difficult--because the average female is NOT like you, and it's hard to find ones with balanced perspectives and good heads on their shoulders like you. Thanks for sharing!
"the bee's knees"
There it is! Thank you, Courtney. My day is now complete.
yeah I can relate to these, however when a woman asks me with Number 2 "How much money do you make?" my default response is "Enough to live a comfortable life".
By the way a 6th one you can add to the list is, "I'm still friends with my ex". If she communicates this then it seems clear to me that she's keeping him around as an option or FWB and hasn't moved on.
The biggest issue I've had with girls is that they've made me feel like I need to be perfect and never make a mistake. I might wear my heart on my sleeve and they never give me a second chance to learn and grow as a man.
if people make you feel like shit, they are prob the ones to avoid. sidenote: if you went to a few therapy sessions and laid out the situations for an outside perspective, it would be helpful to get conformation if they were being overly critical, or if there was anything you could be learning from the situations.
it would basically save you a TON of time, effort, and give you a leg up.
This was a very insightful video, thank you for the knowledge.
Subscribing to this channel not only helped me to be more confident and devoted towards my passion, she has also helped me to make better decisions and dodge bullets. Thankyou big sister love your work
🥹 so glad I can help!
What, exactly, is your passion?
@Courtney Ryan
Sexy outfits good advice and even better looks. 👍👍
This list is gold. Shows how good healthy dating is still a thing and we simply shouldn't tolerate shallow people
I think a lot of these are the result of girls growing up with single mothers. They see their mom supporting them while meeting up with multiple men and then feel it's alright for them to do the same thing later in their life. It's a vicious cycle. Plus social media really doesn't help the situation either and further reinforces their entitled princess mentality.
eh, i'd have to disagree. girl here. met a lot of this type and other types, and the correlation isn't strong enough to support it as an airtight theory. i'm sure it happens a lot, but it's not a high enough percent.
i think it depends on how the mom conducts herself. then the kid has a different influence accordingly. my mom was a single mom for a few years but isn't like what you describe. my ex gf's mom was different from her but still not the kind you describe. both myself and ex don't line up with your description. BUT i have totally met the type you describe. and plenty had both parents. it's a crapshoot, tbh.
i think the biggest takeaway is that despite how many parents, etc, the real important thing is how stable vs toxic the home life was. so whether it's single mom, single dad, both parents.
social media is basically just terrible.
i also want to vomit when i see how a lot of people use it, youtube, etc etc, follow 'hot trends' or famous people, or these dumbass fashion/reality shows.
PRINCESS MENTALITY can go fkk off right now.
i'm DONE. my brother is married to one of those. case in point, had both parents. she is toxic AF. she's absolutely fkking crazy. like, clinically. (ptsd from christmas, here. and she just blew up the marriage, WITH fam in town, AND they have a 2yr old son.)
Hey Courtney, I appreciate you a lot! Video after video you keep giving us some real solid advice! Thank you so much ❤
Speaking of exes, you also have to take into consideration that there's a chance that you're also gonna be one of them, eventually, which means that if all their previous exes are "crazy", chances are that you're gonna be depicted as such, too. Do you really want that? Especially if you're both hanging in the same social circles, so that they get the chance to tell everyone of your friends (or potential dates) how crazy you are as soon as you break up.
The part you covered about people spending too much time online and getting caught up on buzzwords and on CZcamsr's insights really resonated with me.
When we keep a healthy balance and spend time out in the wild then the insights we've picked up online become a handy awareness to keep us in check without being defining factors.
Too much time online is never good no matter how positive we think we are being at any one time.
I really appreciated the no ads in this video and pink is certainly your colour. Cheers 🇬🇧
Every color is Courtney's color.
Courtney, I really appreciate you. I 100% agree with everything you are saying here. From my terrible experiences, I could teach this class quite well! Where were you many years ago when I was so naive and ignored more red flags than any man should be allowed to have and still survive! - Noel LaChance
I'm 49 and single never married. When i was younger, my buddies told me, "Dude, you need to get married like us. Now, those guys that lost half of everything they've ever worked for are rethinking their advice.
I'm in my late 30s and I had a friend say to me, "you've missed your first divorce"
Same here, 49 never married. And almost everyone in my age group who did get married is either divorced and bitter about it; or utterly miserable and all they do is bitch and moan about their spouse (and all this seems to apply equally to the women as much as the men tbh). Whatever went so badly wrong with modern relationships seems to have started somewhere around when we were teens/twenties? At this stage I feel like I dodged a major bullet lol
My problem has been seeing the green flags and ignoring the red ones. Your videos are awesome and a good palate cleanser for my recommendations.
Courtney, would love to see you do a Q&A with some 40-50 something women who were single mothers in their younger years , and talk about their personal perspective of what they would do different, and what their thoughts on dating for their grown children today is like
I just came across this channel! Courtney, love the brutal honesty!
I proposed to my first partner and said "my accountant advised it would be good for tax reasons" she said no.
Today I am sure it would be a resounding yes !
I went on a movie date and paid. When we were sitting in the car she says summed up: Since we went to this movie tonight I’ll go with this other guy to the other movie she wanted to see.
She was telling me I needed to step up my game.
She was telling you she lacked manners.
One good advice i got is that you want to pay close attention to how the person treats others when they have nothing to gain from them. (Waiter, stranger, etc). If you have been friends with them for a least a year prior to dating, that's even better.
This is a great tip and not just in dating/relationships. It is equally useful for work colleagues or casual friends. Observe how they interact with bartenders, waitresses, retail staff, receptionists... if they are rude, demanding, belittling to those people - that's how they'll be treating you in a few months.
Ty, your point of view opens my eyes and I think of things a little bit different now. Once again thank you for your point of view.
About Red flags: having done a lot of work on attempting to notice my own programing using negative self talk unconsciously over the years, I find I'm sensitive to others negative self talk programing. It tends to create a barrier in developing relationships beyond friendships. Being friend zoned is safe. Engaging with flirtatious talk although fun seems to become conflictive and avoiding as red flags are everywhere.
It's such a huge effort for most guys to even get a 1st date, they don't have the luxury of paying attention to red flags
"all my exes are crazy" that's me. It takes a lot of effort to change that. I am still attracted to women with self destructive tendencies and dangerous hobbies. I still have many red flags. I also have many qualities that women really like. It's hard to navigate the world. I see progress, it's just slow.
Totally true that women who put down other women are really annoying... I've known a few of this kind
I'm glad that there are channels like yours- a large slice of common sense in a crazy world! Being so long in the tooth I've seen and heard just about as much rubbish from the entitled princess types (Markle!) as I can take without throwing up. In my youth I rarely encountered such stuff, that didn't mean that women were too different, they were just not so brazen. You could bet that all the red flags you mention have been there forever, just in different ways. In the end, as a middle of the road sort of man, I've made mistakes both ways but I always tried to learn from those mistakes. One of the best inidcators of anything right or wrong has been that old gut feeling! Wisdom rarely manifests itself in the younger members of society and it takes time to realise that you have acquired some - particularly since you don't recognise it as such, but the feeling you have is an early indicator that you're gettilng the hang of things! What I would say to all younger people seeking relatiionships is just as in making love, don't be in a hurry, take your time to absorb the actions and reactions, the language used and so on. As as a final piece of cheek from an old geezer, I just wish I was fifty years younger so that I might rub shoulders with ladies like you CR!
1) I have options
2) I don't accept coffee dates
3) All my exes are crazy
4) I'm the prize
You missed one
You're missing "How much do you make?"
0:44 I have options. If you say that you don't love the other person
1:47 How much money do you make. If you say that you don't love the other person
2:54 I don't accept coffee dates. If you say that you don't love the other person
4:23 All of my ex's are crazy. If she says this run!
6:04 I'm the prize. If she says this she doesn't love the other person
You sound like a real Penguin
Yep!
I see those I'm the prize type reactions as the basic ground for bigotry. Any sort & I'm alert to keep distance until further verified. I figure we're all marinated in various toxicities. Sometimes those hitch a ride onto pet sayings. Many time that comes out at times of nervousness, 1st meetings & such. The alert stays on until something else is said or shown to be a better representation of where the person is at.
Thanks.
You have a lot of knowledge, wisdom and common sense. Thanks for sharing it. It's important to recognize red flags but even more important to heed them. Sometimes we (I) dont, and there can be a huge price to pay. An interesting discussion for another video might be why do we ignore red flags? Although, that may be too depressing of a topic. Great video and beautiful color, I subbed.
The red flags that I've really encountered a A LOT especially recently, they'll say "do you have cashapp?" Or "send me money I need help" and of course the old "buy me drinks" even if I'm not out with them at the bar, they'll text me that lol
You are honestly the perfect woman. You're not toxic, you self refletct, you don't have this give me everything because I'm a princess mentality, and a big thing for me is it seems like you can admit when your wrong, I do this all the time but many women would never dare to do this. Maybe I'm just saying you're just an adult lmao, as rare as that is to find
Couldn't agree more. Thank you for these reminders. Your time is valuable. Sadly, a lot of people don't know this.
Thank you for being the leading example of a high value woman. Also, you mentioned taking responsibility as well (as a woman) which is severely lacking nowadays. So thank you! All the best to you and Teddy.
Keep em' coming Courtney we need more.
Solid advice, as always Courtney. Appreciate it soo much! 😌👏🏻💯
Courtney's videos are the best on the internet for this type of topics. It is a very mature way. I'm 25 years old and I find it reaaaally complicated to find a girl in her 20's with all of this hralthy mindset that Courtney perfectly explains in her videos. Most women still tend to look for the bad boy guy and always end up suffering. I don't know but i feel like i'm a little ahead my age. My theory is that what Courtney explains is more common to find it in women over their 30's after they went through a lot they finally look for the nice guy and that's my struggle.
I am a 38 year old ENFP male. But I also know today, I have dissociation and disorganized attachment. Which really work against me. As a result, I haven't dated in over 10 years.
My ex fiancé, it didn't seem like no matter how hard I worked, while going to school while seeing her every 2 weeks, long distance with a 2 hour drive even dipping into my savings. I would fall asleep hanging out with her, or my friends. She would get jealous and mistreat me if I hang out with my friends, but it wouldn't stop, I tried inviting her to everything with my friends, but she would get jealous when I talked to her brother's wife..... mkay.... yeah. Then she would tell me that I had her wrapped around her finger, that all guys cheat, basically gaslighting me.
No matter how hard I worked, she was always trying to turn my dials and manipulate me because she was insecure. I am much older now, and more careful, I am that way by nature of my illnesses, and she really hurt me. But I was also very sick and didn't know it. I am much more secure now, working hard on my mental and physical health. But this ruined dating for me. I can tell you that all these things I am hearing... if I even hear one of them, just tells me that you are not committed and serious, I didn't struggle through poverty and then her, to be your Santa Clause, I absolutely hate being teased, I hate the chase, the second I get a whiff of jealous behavior, we're done. She chose another man, that tells me she was afraid of her own insecurities in her head, not mine, she didn't trust herself, but I was young and didn't know better and I was tricked I listened to her, because she was a pious Christian or she believed herself superior, she was a Sunday morning Christian.
I am gonna make it myself first, I am nearly there actually and I probably never will marry, my mother stole money from my family business and ended our family and the business. So go around and say these things, it's a good indicator for me that I should go and make my success first and then if I do decided to date again ... be clear immediately that if I do ever marry, then it would be by prenuptial agreement. So that none of you can waste your time, and get taken advantage of, I'll be alright, I've always been alone, just go. No one is going to take advantage of me ever again, it has nothing to do with you being a women, it has everything to do with too many people out there never grew up. I want to eliminate money as a factor, I may not even tell my partner I have money, I just want what I have never ever had, someone that wants and loves me, and not even my parents gave me that but I am so cynical at this point, I really don't think it exists.
You know why guys are afraid of commitment? Well some of them have been burned badly and constantly and give up forever, even raised with a womb in their heart, without even knowing it, worn out, never taught how to love and how would they know how to? some of them don't have parents, I wish I didn't, that would have been so great, as opposed to two violent parents that mutated a round peg through a star shaped hole. No one will ever attempt to care for them, the thought doesn't even cross most peoples mind, and you wonder why some men are so dangerous. This is objectifying a man, when you disregard that they even have a heart, ridicule and shape them into something unrealistic, I am not a soul less automaton without a heart. I ain't manning up anymore, I am picking a different direction when I am ready, and if I decide, someone can walk beside me if they want, otherwise best of luck to you, you go chase after that fantasy of a man that has never ever been born. You may say it yourself all the time, you can have another man in a min. Okay, I won't stop you then, if you think that will make you happy.
I am not saying guys are innocent, but this video is not about guys. I think we all know by now how bad toxic men are. I don't belong to any MRA or Men Going Their Own Way or anything else. This is just a peak behind the curtain of a very tired and used up man, I design and build entire subdivisions and go home to a house that should be condemned, no one cares that this world is turning corrupt they just are addicts F-ing around on their phones, arguing about left and right BS distractions. You also don't deserve children or even a pet if you believe in violence, don't have a child if you believe in hitting them. You are not responsible enough, like a dog owner that leaves its dog barking at home or baking in the sun. Boys, girls get serious.
Thank you so much for enlightening us, Courtney! This is gold! Paying close attention to these phrases can really make us see that we are actually dodging a huge bullet!
Mate, you really shouldn't need someone else to tell you that these are all massive red flags!
@@MAttWDroneVids maybe not! But it is always a good idea to keep your mind open and not assume that you know it all!! 🙏
@@nicholasrodriguez577 I agree, and I don't assume.. Just saying these are pretty obvious red flags!
@@MAttWDroneVids that’s right! No argument there
I feel like an inexpensive or free date is a good filter for guys trying to find the one. If she is excited to spend time with you, and you have great conversation on a walk in the park, and she happily accepts an invite to a second date for coffee, that sounds like a good start to me. I remember a certain walk in the park with my now husband of 13 years as a turning point when I knew I really felt something special with him.
You are a rare gem. Great video content. Very common sense and practical. Thanks for sharing Courtney.
Another aspect to no. 4, all my exes are crazy, is the lack of accountability that she likely drove them to being crazy. Some women are so insecure they will gaslight the hell out of you to boost their own ego/esteem/self worth.
0:50 lol I talked to a girl last year who told me she had “many suitors” 😂
Always inspiration
Man I’m so happy for Courtney and Teddy. Just seem like great quality people of character. It’s rare out here and I’m glad you found each other.
Keep the faith guys, have discernment, and continue to grow to be the best man you can be. There’s hope.
This is so kind. Thank you 🥹
@@CourtneyRyan Of course! Glad you started making content, it really helps combat the other less positive narratives out there. Been following Teddy since he FIRST started his watch collecting journey and was always like this guy would fit right into my group of guys 🤣
Wow! You literally blew my mind.
Good job, great explanation...
But is the truth.
We have to learn how to dicern,
Have good judgment and wisdom. Is the only way to have a good healthy relationship that will last..
Great video and advice
Some of those things happened to me. Thanks for pointing on all the things out I have subscribed to your channel I like what I heard from you
If a woman says to you that she has options, you need to her "Don't let the hit you on the way out. Thank you for showing me your true colors. I'll move on."
Red flag #1,when a woman tells you about how unhappy she is in her marriage, and goes into details about it.hence if your unhappy and that miserable, yet you stick with it knowing it won't change,she has some real issues
Yeah, she lost me at "marriage". I ain't in the market anymore, but if I was that would be a complete deal-breaker. Do not continue the date, ask for the check and leave immediately. First, there's the husband. Who is he? How big a guy is he? Does he have a bunch of friends? Does he own a, or many, gun(s)? Assuming you think you're hot-stuff enough to get past that part, then you got her commitment issues. She's willing to cheat on her husband, why wouldn't she cheat on you too? Then, like you mentioned, why would she stick around if it was really that bad? What if it's not and she's just bored and looking for some "excitement" that will eventually get old/exposed and you're still left alone minus whatever money/time you spent on her and/or bruises/broken bones from the husband/his friends. What if she's just lazy/entitled and sticking with them because of the money until she comes across a better "meal ticket"? If she's flying with a "safety net" that's just pathetic. IDGAF if it's the hottest woman on earth, there's nothing she can say to get me interested if she's married, it's just not worth it.
Thank you for these tips! I use them to help me know which friends to keep around, obviously not the intended goal, but a lot of it applies quite well to friendships with women 👏
Thank you Courtney, most informative.
If a girl tells me to add her on Facebook or follow her insta (etc, whatever the social media platform may be), rather than her putting in the effort, is that a red flag?
Is it also a red flag if a girl asks me, would I be financially stable if something were to happen to my parents?
"Why? What are you plotting?!"
Yes. Her # or nothing. She wants you to follow her bullshit socials
Love the pink outfit Courtney, it suits you beautifully ❤
Thank you so much 💗
Very much appreciated analysis. Thank you.
This is very straightforward and helpful. Lovely, really!