Can I Have Sex after Getting Herpes? 3 Myths Busted
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- čas přidán 21. 05. 2020
- In this video, Alexandra Harbushka from Life With Herpes busts 3 myths when it comes to sex and herpes. Spoiler alert, you can have sex after being diagnosed with herpes.
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💗ABOUT ALEXANDRA 💗
Alexandra Harbushka is the creator of Life With Herpes and she is on a mission to educate, entertain and connect with the underserved and often ostracized people living with herpes. Yes, Alexandra has herpes too and she totally gets what you are going through. She created this community so people living with herpes could learn, connect and get back to living their beautiful lives.
🔹Website: www.lifewithherpes.com/
🔹Instagram: / alexandraharbushka
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YES You Can Have Sex Even Though You Have Herpes
This is the number one thing we all freak out about when we’re diagnosed with herpes. Getting the diagnosis that says, “you have herpes” somehow equates in our mind that we can never have sex again.
We immediately go to the place of this is punishment for having sex and I did something wrong so now I can’t do that any more. Or maybe we go to the place of who’s going to want to have sex with me. The thought of being damaged goods or dirt or disgusting often comes along with a herpes diagnosis. This is 100% false and you can absolutely have sex even with a herpes diagnosis.
Disclaimer: This video is NOT sponsored. Everything I discuss is based on my honest opinion and research. In full transparency, some links above may be affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission if you purchase the item through my link at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support! XOXO Alexandra
My girl just just found out that she has herpes. I don't. I'm here to learn as much as I can because I really do like her.
Bless you
Same dawg
That is wonderful that you love her because a lot of guys don't want to be with a women who has it.. I have it and I know that a lot of guys didn't want to be with me. But I know if someone truly loves me they will be with me regardless. And also I take medication
Bless you for reall
Just told a guy I like. I nipped it in the bud early so he wouldn't be surprised on the spot. I haven't heard from him in two days 😒
Sometimes I forget that I have it and when I start to like someone I get really anxious and depressed and so sad that I prefer not to keep knowing the person :(I just feel so embarrassed thinking that I have to tell someone about it.
Sean Seymour how am i going to find someone With the same sti?
I’m form Puerto Rico.
Sean Seymour well, I don’t think I want to be with someone with a different sti ‘cause it’s already a lot with having herpes.
Sean Seymour I’m also sure that I don’t want to give someone herpes even if they accept me with it. I know the feeling of finding out and how devastating it is.
Sean Seymour I don’t have sex since I broke up with my boyfriend 6 months ago. I don’t want to have sex. I’m too scared. I would never have sex with someone if they don’t know what I have. That would be an evil thing to do.
I don’t know why her husband is negative if they don’t use protection.
Sean Seymour well, From what I learn by reading and watching these videos, people can have it and not have an outbreak or any symptoms at all. That’s why you need to disclosure before having sex.
I got diagnosed with Genital Herpes 10 years ago and your video was informative and helpful, thank you very much 😊 and you are a nice person and a good person.
I appreciate you being able to be so vocal about this🙏🏾
This gave me so much peace. Thank you so much.
If I tell someone I have herpes, I am pretty sure nobody is going to date me
i am 25 year old indian guy just got it tested +ve today.
Can we connect?
Hey I will!!!
U too
That’s not true my last partner told me beforehand and I still chose to be with her because at the time I thought we were gonna be together forever. Unfortunately she cheated on me and I left her and I am terrified of telling my next potential partner. I haven’t even been trying to date beacause I know have it but Ive become so lonely but honesty is the best policy you will be suprised how understand people can be
I just got diagnosed and this gave me so much peace of mind. Thank you 😭
Me too
Same here I just got diagnosed and this is brought me peace as well
Thank you 😭
I was diagnosed with past exposure of herpes
Me too girl, everything is going to fine
Thank you so much for this video x
Thank you for your channel and helping me understand this virus
Thank you for EASING my mind and thank you for sharing this video !
I'm overwhelmed now,you have the key to my heart because you brought joy to my soul,thank you for your efforts inti work, and thank you for helping me put an end to my HSV,it was a really depressing moment with HSV, I'm so happy.
You are amazing
I have lots of questions over all this.. I love being intimate an its change what I enjoy the most.. Its very sad for me
You can still be intimate. Let us know what questions you have
My wife gave me herpes
I’ve been searching for women with herpes so I don’t have to worry about the pre-conceived judgement of having herpes.
Someone I can really relate to
They have groups on Facebook to meet up with others with the same diagnosis
Nobody worthwhile will care.
Why are you searching for women if you have a wife?
@@OutCastSwagg I wonder if he meant to say ex wife🤔
@@BambooScarwhich groups?
Thank you so much. But I’m still gonna be careful with how I behave from now on.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
You’re brave talking about this right outside your house! I guess u don’t care about privacy
What is wrong with you?
Thanks for this I found out I had herpes and I try have normal day about it used to be sad about it but now I know u can still live life thanks so much for this story ❤
Thank you
So I’ve been recently diagnosed with herpes, I feel like I didn’t know I had it considering I didn’t test positive for it and same for my partner who just now got herpes.. they said they’ve had cold sores before but never one when I was around, is it possible that it could’ve been transferred into hsv2 on me and him? I’m confused as to how I got it, it popped up out of nowhere and so is he. Could it have been dormant from a while ago and finally surfaced?
Yes to all of the above. I’m replying 2 years late but perhaps this may help someone else reading this.
1) herpes can lay dormant after the initial outbreak. You can therefore not know you have it.
I had an outbreak as a child then had my second outbreak aged 28!
2) Herpes can be spread from mouth to genitals/anus and vice-versa. Although HSV1 and HSV2 usually present themselves in specific locations (sorry, I can’t remember which one is attributed to oral and which to genital) you can pass oral herpes to the genitals and genital herpes to the mouth.
3) There is such thing as asymptomatic viral shedding where you can unknowingly spread the virus without having any symptoms. This is how I gave my ex a cold sore. I felt a twitch/throb a few hours before (not even continuous throbbing, literally one twitch). I kissed him then a few days later he had a cold sore. I had absolutely nothing on my lips 😥
4) As well as asymptomatic shedding, you can also have very mild symptoms. I rarely ever have full-blown cold sores. Mine present as a dry patch on the edge of my lip that isn’t even noticeable with moisturiser/balm on.
As an aside, if I feel even the slightest twinge/throb/tingle, I put acyclovir cream all around and on my lips several times a day. I take L-lysine supplements every day if I think I’ll break out (or every other day as a preventative measure).
Hope this helps somebody ❤
@@cocobrowny how is your life now ?
@cocobrowny so for your second point you made, can someone with genital herpes infect you if you kissed them only in the mouth?
Thanks
this video was about thinking positive even with herpes but someone gave it to me the main reason I will give it to someone else...but how can that be positive.?
The girl didn’t tell me she had it 😭😭. I just don’t want to try to date someone because of it.
Bro I’m just like you 😢 how you doing 5 months later? The thing is I was already struggling with dating beforehand
Same nasty 🤢 mf didn’t tell me and here I am
Me too bro @ky015
im so scared i just been diagnosed with hsv-1 genitally and i had my first outbreak it hurt so bad. i feel emotionally stressed and depressed. Does anyone know if it will hurt to have sex after a few weeks from a outbreak?
First outbreak is very painful. After that the outbreaks are less painful and last shorter(in my case, ~ once a year).
Don't have sex until your outbreak goes away!
@@12oad if it’s HSv-1 is it transmitted through kissing or just sex or both ?
The first OB ( outbreak is the most painful over time it gets less painful and they become less frequent) I highly recommend to abstain from sex during an OB as it will only do more harm to yourself
On my first outbreak of Genital Herpes...my penis had painful and bleeding blisters and urinating was painful too...using the shower was a problem because the water gets in contact with the skin. Also, doing a number 2 was a major nuisance...but after taking Herpesin/acyclovir tablets for a week or 2 weeks, the blisters and the pain all disappeared. I had my first outbreak 10 years ago. I have not had sex for 10 years (because I am not the type of person that likes casual sex/one night stands) so so far I have not had any outbreaks for 10 years other than that one time 10 years ago.
it is true that outbreaks are less painful and less frequent in time or the breakouts are always?
Silvia Hernandez Oliva I don’t know if it’s true or not but I don’t have it always. I got them like once a year (for now)
@@joyypr8308 thank you, how long have you been diagnosticated?
Silvia Hernandez Oliva 2years
@@silviahernandezoliva1840 how long I have this bloody virus
yes, that is true... but #1 thing is to continue healthy lifestyle, keep up your hygiene and be safe... there will be no issues
Will Hsv2 on my arm give a person genitalia sores even if I never get them ? 😕 2 years of seclusion because I don’t want to pass it
You can pass it to someone's genitals, if they come in contact with, yes. You can cover the area where you have herpes. When there's a barrier, so there's no skin to skin contact, you're fine.
maybe this will help. my ex had herps .i never got it. we broke up but not because of that. it didnt matter to me but i told her do a three day water fast because the body heals itself abd it does this by fasting and she stopped getting outbreaks. good luck to all ,i hope this helps
As long as you are being safe, hygienic and living a healthyLifestyle - both mind and body (meaning keeping your immune system optimal as much as possible), as well not having an outbreak at the time (all this will keep outbreaks to a minimum as well as greatly decreasing viral shedding, along with keeping you healthy in general) said person and partner will be fine when having sex...
Thank you so much for sharing these knowledges. As a woman I feel not alone anymore to deal with this virus ❤
I have been talking to a girl, she recently told me she has herpes but its dormant. Which means she does not have outbreaks. I do not have any SDI's and im worried that if we have sex i can catch it. Is there a way you can have sex without condoms and not worry about catching it? Also about oral sex without a dental dam and not worry about that either?
Condoms do very little in terms of preventing herpes, unless they cover the whole are where one gets outbreaks. Antivirals are, according to FDA, the most proven way not to transmit, but there is always a chance. If you use protection, dental dams, condoms & even layers of clothes, for example, so there's no direct transmission, that's probably the best option, if you are up for that. As a couple you have to decide what you want to do. Androgprahis are a supplement a non-HSV partner can take, as it can prevent viral entry. You can read more about it here. www.lifewithherpes.com/shop-andrographis
how many times did you say herpes
I had sex with a girl with hsv2 last night and here I am lol. Im just worried. She didnt have a breakout and shes on her meds (valacyclovir) but im still paranoid.
Any update
Most doctors told me that STD test should not even include herpes! Please if you test positive for type 1 and 2 and don’t have outbreak don’t worry you go about your business as normal. Unless you are going to have unprotected sex then both people should get tested. Almost everyone one has it. It’s ok. Thanks for this information
That is true. But sadly herpes can still be transmitted even if you're using condoms, since transmission is skin-to-skin. So, disclosing is vital. The person needs to be informed, it's the only ethical thing to do.
You’re talking about feeling safe but that doesn’t take away the fact that feeling safe has nothing to do with you actually transmitting the disease them.... then what?
What are the chances of getting herpes by kissing? Does any know? I can't sleep. I went on one date. One date! One kiss, not making out one single kiss. And then the girl tells me after the fact she has hsv1. I'm getting tested today and I can't think straight.
Does she have oral herpes?
@@lifewithherpes if you kiss someone that has gentian HSV-2 can you get the virus ? Is the virus present in our saliva ?
Practically everyone has oral herpes. More than 70% of the population. Even if you have it, you’ll be fine.
Hii Alexander I recently slept with one female who didn't know she had HSV2 and she told me a few days later. After getting tested I tested negative and I'm breaking out just a little bit. After getting my results I'm relieved nonetheless can one still have sex even with no symptoms?
Hi, if you actually tested negative on a blood test, that doesn't really mean you don't have it. If you are experiencing symptoms, you can ask for a swab test which is more accurate - if you still have an active lesions.
As for blood test, it would take a few weeks to a few months if you did indeed get it, to show positive result.
You can do whatever you feel comfortable with - you and your partner.
I don’t know if reply or not but I had sex with someone with the virus with a condom but the condom popped but when it popped i immediately pulled out and rush to the shower will I still catch it or am I done for she haven’t had an outbreak over two to three years and she’s on medication to prevent the spread but i don’t know if it can still be spreaded or not I’m just overall nervous I don’t have any symptoms or anything no body aches but I do have them after I play basket ball or something but other than that I don’t have any I’m just worried I hope and pray you reply ma’am my life depends on it if I catch this I’ll end my life immediately
If she's on antivirals, and did not have an outbreak at the time, the chances are very minimal. Condoms don't really protect against herpes, unless the condom covers the whole area of an outbreak, otherwise condoms have others function
Please help me understand how you don’t infect your partner if you don’t use condoms im confused
czcams.com/video/fXr1WVzs4vc/video.html Please see this one :)
Hydrogen peroxide 35 % food grade .....and high dose vitamin c
Are you pouring the hydrogen peroxide on your sores?
Mate your a genius
EXPLAIN PLS
Your opinion on cure for Herpes.
Lmao the intro music sounds similar to the rapper Nas' Hip-Hop track called 'Nas Is Like' from the 1990s...although the volume in my laptop is not working very well so maybe that's why the intro beats sound like that Hip-Hop track 😂.
I am not married yet got hsv 2 from my girlfriend. Can I marry someone and have natural sex and babies further
Of course, you just need to disclose. People have totally normal lives with families and kids, despite herpes.
I don't have herpes but I have feelings for someone who does. I don't know what to do? Let her go?
It would be silly to let someone go just because they have herpes. If you want to take it easy, and see if this is the person whom you want to spend time with and be in a relationship, take it easy. You don't need to rush and decide today or next week. See where it goes. Many people accept their partners with herpes. You can take precautions to protect you against herpes, and it's up to you to discuss that if you ever come to that point of being intiamte.
@@lifewithherpes thank you 😊.
I'm So glad l don't have it,
It really pays not to sleep around with strangers 👌
My gf got it from being raped. Some people don't have a choice.
I'm confused
@@lindagoosling YOU CAAAANNNNTTTT CURE IT YOU STOPPED THE OUTBREAK BUT YOU STILL CARRY THE VIRUS PERIOD AND YOUR STILL SHEDDING THE VIRUS PERIOD
@@lindagoosling go get tested
@@lindagoosling you will be positive for the rest of your natural life SMFH you are so delusional
@@lindagoosling you just relieved your symtoms
@@lindagoosling 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Im waiting on test results, so I dont know if what I have is herpes. But my husband and I never use protection. Wouldnt he get herpes even if there is no outbreak?
Not necessarily. It could mean you're rarely shedding, or having outbreaks and that's good. It could also mean he actually has herpes, but not showing symptoms.
Alexandra's husband does not have herpes as well
I mean are you a doctor? Or are you speaking from personal experience?
No, not a doctor.
Can there be a safe way to not ise condoms with someone that has it ?
Since the virus is transmitted with skin-to-skin contact, condoms probably won’t cover the whole area when one gets outbreaks, you will most likely expose your partner to the area, even if wearing condoms. So, condoms are a good idea, but their main purpose is not protection against herpes.
So i heard that if you have a outbreak then they can get it is that true or false
If you have an outbreak, it's very likely you will transmit. If you don't you can still transmit it to someone via viral sheding. It happens and we don't know when it happens, but that's how most of the time virus is transmitted.
Would a condom help or wat if you not shedding could you still give it to the next person
Go talk to your doctor about this. You can take medication to shorten your outbreak and control viral shedding the rest of the time.
I was with a partner for 6 months we just broke up last week, she has herpes, we used condoms for most of our relationship and she took her meds regularly I didn’t use protection for a little over a month, we maybe had sex once a week on average because we were long distance and for this last month we used protection, we never had sex during an outbreak -I don’t believe she ever had an outbreak while we were together and for the last month we were together we always used condoms, I’m getting tested tomorrow and I’m still terrified, I know I could technically be asymptomatic but I guess I’m just trying to get some type of assurance that I’m probably going to be negative because I’m stressed out.
If you didn't have sex when she had an outbreak, and she was on antivirals, the chances of transmission are less than 1%.
However, please note that the antibodies can take some time to develop. It could be a few weeks to a few months.
What happened?
@@aaronfroode5750he got herpes
My gynaecologist told me that herpes is not detected in blood. I still remember getting a test done , but the tests were negative , and gynaecologist even said the sores or the pain may also be due to condom or lack of proper lubricantion. Could you please shed some light on that. Secondly I wanted to know Is it okay to have sex after a week of proper antivirals and treatment of ointments. Is it okay to go ahead with the intercourse after proper 10-12 days of treatment?
Chances of getting Herpes from a one night stand are less than 1%.
If two people already have hsv will the infection get worse
No
Someone didn’t disclose with me
I think someone was less and honest with me too. I'm going to go get tested in a few weeks.
I am depressed because I have genital herpes. :( I am scared it ruins my immune System.
Actually there have supposedly been studies to prove that people with any HSV have a better immune system than those who don't have it, as our immune systems are already on high-alert so apparently just generally do a quicker & better job at attacking viruses & bacteria.
Herpes doesn’t do anything to the immune system.
I had 2 outbreaks within the 1st month. Then nothing for almost 5 years. Besides how you think about it, the physical is less than a common rash.
I'm depressed because of my hsv-1 (cold sores). It makes me nervous about dating and/or being in a relationship with someone and makes me have thoughts of wanting to die sooner.
You have to have an actual outbreak to know if you have herpes?
@Linda Mary you can not get rid of the virus just the outbreak that's it what your saying is unreal there is no cure what's so ever you can stop yourself from getting sores though
@@lindagoosling you still have the fing virus it's no cure AT ALLL you just stopped the outbreak period
You can get a blood test to find out.
@@Smorss2011 herpes is not located in the blood. It's within your spine.
No just get tested bro
I’m so sick to my stomach I have it now and don’t know how to proceed with dating or anything
I feel the same way! I have hsv-1 (cold sores)! It makes me feel like dying!
Not so talkative guys can never talk about it as comfortably as you. It's like brain is numb.
I like this girl a lot she has herpes can I can I have relationship with her and never get it ?
Of course. There are many couples where one is + and the other is not. You can have a perfectly happy relationship with herpes!
Say normalize to a doctor , why are they so mean ??
Can you still have sex if the sores are dried already 😖
it is possible to be contagious even when the sores have dried up.
@@lifewithherpes ugh I hate this 😭idk how I got infected I'm not sure if my partner was sleeping with someone else or if he had it just didn't want to tell me about itn
I understand. But, we can only guess. Talking with your partner will yield most results in most cases.
@@lifewithherpes it's not that bad as I thought it was because right now, 'm on the medication for it but idk if it'll get worse when I come off of it ?
My girlfriend has hsv 2 ( genital herpes) can i still kiss her on the lips ?
Thanks
Yes, it's transmitted with skin to skin contact.
There is no such thing as genital or oral. It is HSV1 or HSV2. Either can show up in both places. Almost everyone has HSV1, and a lot of people have HSV2. You can kiss her wherever, just be educated and safe. You probably already have had it from when you were a kid anyhow (HSV1).
Can we have a baby?
Of course.
czcams.com/video/P5kITbcaXik/video.html
@@lifewithherpes LOL I thought that person was asking you if you would have a baby with them! I forgot about the other meaning.