JW Child Bride Disfellowshipped - Ex-JW Story
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- čas přidán 8. 12. 2017
- #exjw #exjwstory #disfellowshipped
This is my story. I was married at 17yrs old, (turned 18 the next day), which was shortly after graduating from high-school. This is a common thing that you see in the Jehovah's Witness Organization... so I call it being a 'child bride'... definitely too young to be getting married, right?! I was also disfellowshipped after getting married to be made an example to other youths in the congregation. It's a harsh way of discipline coming from an organization that says it's guided by love first.
If you have gone through a similar experience, I'd love to hear your story.
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If you enjoyed this video, I thank you in advance for the thumbs up. And make sure to subscribe as I'm planning to add a video (or two) each week. :)
When I was a little boy, I held the door open for everybody entering the Kingdom Hall. When a dis-fellowshipped person entered the Kingdom Hall, I would say "Hello", even though I wasn't supposed to. I always felt it was absolutely heartless not to acknowledge somebody. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Thank you for the comment. I'm not a Saint, but I could sense the lack of love.
I too would say hi I'm not fake
So sorry to hear.
I was a raised a JW and I got baptized at the age of 12. I was young and I didn't know the negative effects of that decision. As I got older I didn't have many friends at the organization so I decided to make friends at school. They were nice to me and always invite me to go bowling after school on fridays. I couldn't go according to my parents for no apparent reason, just because they said so. Same thing happened when I wanted to join sports at school. But the most ridiculous thing was trying to talk on the phone with my cousin, my own family, that wasn't a JW. I had to always have the phone on speaker. Eventually I just started becoming uninterested in the organization because it was stopping me from doing things all the other teens were doing. Nothing negative just going out to get my nails done or watch a movie. So I tried to make friends in the organization but I noticed one of the girls mom always looked at me wrong and she would always try to avoid her daughter from speaking to me just because I had made friends at school. one day her daughter tried to invite me to go out to eat after meeting on Sunday and her mom just cut her off and told her let's go we have to go now! That automatically made me feel that my friends at school and even their parents were good people compared to who I was "supposed to" hang out with. So I slowly started drifting, I would go to meetings because my parents made me go. When I turned 18 I decided I liked a guy friend of mine who by the way we were friends for 3 years of high school. So we became a couple, no sexual inter course, just the title and I was disfellowshipped because they didn't believe me. Any way it hurt because I lost my parents for a while. But they eventually started talking to me even though they weren't "supposed to". I still speak to them and they are still JW but we have to let no one know about it. I don't understand how parents are supposed to choose their religion over their own kids.
Thank you for sharing. I can relate to everything you've said, and always wished I could've had closer friendships from school. I also wished that I could have been allowed to partake in extracurricular activities as I was always loved soccer and running.
It's amazing to me that JW's are instructed (and they follow) to choose their faith over family. I've experienced a lot of that, it's heartbreaking.
Glad that your parents bend 'the rules' for you. x
Living Truth it's such a relief that I'm not the only one that has experienced something similar. I'm glad I'm looking into it and finding all these videos. But in a way I feel torn and lost about what to believe in now. I've only known the JW organization and when I attend a different church I feel bad, like I shouldn't be there or because my parents are going to be disappointed. I don't know what church I should attend, and frankly I don't want to be involved for fear of becoming trapped. I just know I believe in God.
I totally understand feeling that way, I went through the same. My advise on 'what to believe now', don't rush it or force it. If you're open minded, it's now your chance to educate yourself on anything and everything that we weren't allowed to read or look at. I know what you mean about 'fear of becoming trapped', and that's what moved me to jump head first into educating myself on a variety of belief systems, etc. I did a video on my journey with this a couple weeks ago if you're interested to check it out. It's actually titled "Now what do I believe"... :)
Living Truth Thank you. I appreciate your advice, and I will check out that video. 😊
I will adopt you. That is horrible how you were treated by the "Friends" and your parents.
I felt the fakeness too when I was reinstated, all hugs & kisses and congratulations but then once you get back into it people still hardly talk to you... you're still the one who was disfellowshipped, not very spiritually strong etc. I only got reinstated to be with family and in the end it just wasn't worth it. Freedom feels better. I will never return. Nothing is worth putting yourself through that emotional trauma x
Thanks for sharing. You're so right, fake fake fake. Freedom is so much better! :)
I felt exactly the same. Like you were some novelty and once the novelty wore off, everyone kept their distance from you.
I fell away again shortly after and I will never return. It’s been 11 years since I was reinstated.
Jezebellic in nature, free Masonic in infrastructure & Luciferic in origins.
Get out & flee... come to JESUS CHRIST: Son of the Living God !
It’s control / manipulation / dominance / punishment / discarding : very narcissistic in nature !
Thank GOD there is Freedom in Christ Jesus !
Living Truth I have never understood how people fall for this group anyway. I let them come in a few times but my Father was a Pastor for 62 years.
It doesn’t take but a few seconds of reading the Watchtower to take a Bible and completely destroy their belief that the Watchtower is a Supplement to the Bible.
Too bad you had to go through all that bullsh^t. The prodigal son was welcomed back immediately. He didn't have to sit in a penalty box for months on end to prove he was repentant. Welcome to your freedom.
Amen. Exactly. I have been through this whole entire process and issues with all of them. I noticed in time once my father died in 2017 soo many changed. The people who knew you from birth and then some of my very own family turned and never spoke to me again. I'm not disfellowshiped but it feels like they look at me as trash. But thankfully I have grown and I am no longer bitter because I am not going to let them break me down. I will not let them block me and my blessings in life. I pray to God and I know that he is real. We have a great relationship and I can not do anything in life without him. I wish most of them well.
My experience is similiar. I was disfellowshipped for fornication with a young man who I also married and had two children with. The elders who interviewed me were perverts and asked questions like how many times did we orgasm and it was just so degrading. I ended up walking out. I was also 17. I didn't try to get back into the JW organizationl. I had had enough. My older sister was married off at 15. Can you imagine? The elders advised this. Of course it didn't last. She was a child. But as a result my mother hasn't had anything to do with me for 40 years. One of my sons died at an early age and she didn't call me, didn't send a card, didn't even come to his funeral. To me, that's unforgiveable. I've lived without her for 40 years. I'm sure I can live the rest of my life without her. When she dies, she will have a funeral by JW's and I won't be there either. They destroy families. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story. It always helps to know you're not alone.
Rhea Herrington Thank you for sharing your story. Sorry to hear about all the things you've experienced, it's horrible. And yet those that are practicing JW's really believe they are doing what's right in shunning their flesh and blood. It's tragic, and traumatizing... but they don't or won't understand this unless they leave and see if for themselves.
When I was younger, I remember one of my friends dealing with elders interviewing her and asking same type of perverted questions... sick. I think the difference in my case was that my new husband was at all my judicial committees, so I don't think they dared approach the subject. Weird standard on that.
Rhea Herrington - I’m so sorry for your loss!! It’s heartbreaking that your mom wasn’t there for you at such a hard time. When my husband passed none of my family came to the funeral or sent a card either. Its disgusting how this religion tears families apart! Love & hugs to you ❣️
Your story breaks my heart along with everyone's else's, this cult has caused so much misery for us all us all. But we're not suffering in silence anymore, we're sharing our stories & drawing comfort from each other. Gone are the glory days of Watchtower's power to make us feel like dirt & part of that is down to the Internet & realising we are not the only ones to have gone though this crap. FREEDOM it's priceless.
Im sorry about this, that organization really does a number and the minds of the members. This is not the truth. How can they say they believe what the bible teaches when Jesus had compassion for sinners, he ate and drank with the worst of them!
Rhea Herrington So sorry for your experience. That's sexual abuse by those elders.
My shunned JW husband's funeral was unusual to say the least. He was due to be reinstated the week after his suicide. He was buried by his,family about 50 miles from our home and his last congregation. The people that came were 2 worldly best friends, his family (half of whom JWs), and lots of JWs that knew him from this original congregation of his that didn't know he was being shunned or committed suicide. His family told them he died in a car accident as they felt they'd be judged. His best worldly friend, a psychologist asked me why they didn't get told the truth.
I left because I was emotionally abused by others in the congregation. One of the worst experiences of my life.
Please do a video telling names of those animals lady
I married my ex wife at 17 I was 21 raised in this cult any way we were married 6 yrs 2 daughters her dad was a presiding overseer elder. Any way after 5 yrs of marriage she went to work and met a man who she committed adultery me being upset started drinking and as you know I was disfellowshiped my ex wife never had anything done to her that was 21 yrs ago her parents and mine are still jw but she can talk and visit with her family I can not. That's where my story gets interesting. I'm 49 yrs old now and on Oct 14 2017 I was involved in a serious motorcycle accident and was taken to a trauma unit. My mother and sisters showed up for 2 days they were there at hospital I have been home almost 8 weeks still recovering but not one word from them. That is how messed up this cult is. They stayed long enough to make sure I didn't die it's so unfair that my ex wife has been able to have a relationship with her family and I can not. Elder using his power. To not disfellowship his own child but I was and I really did not do anything .. I have paid the price for 21 yrs. I hope God vindicates everyone of us who have gone through this and all those who committed suicide because a man says you can no longer have family relationship or even friends u grew up with. People I have known all my life when I run into them they run as if there terrified of me. Thank you for your story. Let's pray that this cult is continuing to be exposed. God bless
Thank you for sharing your story, Bryan. It's messed up how family in the JW faith are so confused as to showing love to their flesh and blood. Sorry this has happened to you, and I agree that it's important to share our stories to continue exposing the real truth.
I am so sorry you were treated like shit for drinking. How about they tell those afflicted with alcoholism to go to AA meetings instead of demonize them for a change? They are socially retarded (no offense to down syndrome).
It's probably because they put her through a "RITUAL" so that she could stay in and get passed around
Holy cow....punctuation man...punctuation! Jokes aside though, there are too many people in JW getting married as children...for a woman, it's the greatest achievement.
But they're the lost ones. Father God Holy Spirit and the son the living word Jesus will restore you. Eternity matters NOT RELIGIONS. It's a personal relationship. God Bless you
Oh my God! "We're never wrong"?!?! Really! This literally jaw dropped me. When I was a kid, I watched a friend get let off the hook because the holy spirit "guided" the elders to forgive her and not dishfellowship her. A week later, she was still bragging about her escapades...and still actively having a GREAT "worldly" time . But, you know, they're never wrong. Wow...
I know, right?! Some elders are led by ego... not love.
I knew a regular pioneer that pretended to be my very best friend. Only she made a move on my worldly husband. I confronted her about it, and she basically just stopped talking to me. Before she hit on my man, she got a scriptural divorce because she had a make out session with a former high school boyfriend that she never got over and she was sick of being married to a ministerial servant that drank hard liquor that buried the bottles in the backyard that was verbally and physically abusive. Initially, the elders wanted to disfellowship her but she cried and told them they would have never found out about her indiscretion had she been dishonest and concealed it. They let her off easy by private reproof EVERYONE in the Kingdom Hall knew about because they told their wives, and their wives told everyone. She never told them about her attempt with my husband. All I can say is JW women are scratching a clawing for a man, and they would run over their own mother in a Kingdom Hall parking lot to get in with the A clique at their Hall. I have never met so many people in one religious group that married family members and committed incest. All I can say is drop tail run like hell because these people are not empathetic human beings. It is a men's club and certainly a smorgasbord of future victims for any sex offender/felon paroled from state prison or from one these "spiritually strong Witness" families that happen to practice incest. I call the whole scene "tornado bait trailer trash."
@@rachelek9563 WOW that is crae crae!!!
A pioneer sister wanted your hubby!?! Dayum!!!! That's SANDOLOUS!!!! But Jdub women are/can be desparate!!! Some time you can smell that perfume called Desparation all over them!!
Hi Rachel, George from Berlin, Germany. Enjoyed your video & U come across very caring & sincere. Thank U. I was disassociated just last week. FINALLY FREE!!!!
Thanks for your comment.. and good for you!! Have a freedom party!
Good job finally free!!!!
I'm an ex Jehovah's Witnesses well I am so sorry for all the pain and the suffering those people put us through they have hurt us so deeply and I am so very sorry for you and me and whoever else they've hurt Jehovah and Jesus know what they've done
Welcome to being allowed to independently think! Learn the REAL history of jehovah's witnesses you'll be shocked. They were "the world is gonna end" cult back in the early 1900's, after 5 failed predictions they gave that notion up.
george beotes well done George
Any updates please 😆
Why do jw parents just love to snoop and read diary ? So sick. Thank goddess I got out raised 2 great men, and no snooping . Thanks for you for your story
Lack of real & authentic communication was/is my experience. I know this isn't everyone's story. Thanks for your comment. :)
YES! My mom read my diary too. It was a complete breach of trust.
Now you can be your authentic self instead of an empty shell.
YES!!
I was kicked out at 10 years old with a duffel bag and a pillow for doing simple math about 144,000 going to heaven. Best thing to ever happen to me honestly! I try to put up with my mom, but I just cant shes too toxic
The Elders can be so cruel and it's sick how they can pick on a 17 yr old female like that, it's abusive.
Thanks for your comment. Sadly it's common to see an abuse of power and control tactics among many elders.
Yes, I experienced it myself. I am so glad that there is such a good support system available these days and those having problems do not need to feel that they are alone.
Thank you for sharing your story as it will help others.
Thanks for your comment, @RiverDanube, so appreciated. :)
I too was married for 17 years to a JW wife who was just 17 years old and just two weeks from her 18th. birthday and just right out of high school. I had been a baptized JW for only two years and 22 years old and had just graduated from college. I pioneered for a short time and then moved to the congregation that my JW wife was attending with her JW family. Since I was now a JW and was not allowed to date worldly girls. I saw my future JW wife while attending my first meeting with this new congregation that I relocated to. And she was the most beautiful sister in the whole congregation as well as the entire circuit. I made my acquaintances with her and her family and after a short period of time we were dating according the JW way. And after six months we got married, so she too was a ‘child bride’ and being a young man myself I really wanted her in my ‘sack’ so to speak. And of course she really believed in the promise and prophecy of the new system of things was to occur on September 5, 1975 at sundown according to Fred Franz the Vice President of the WTBTS statement at a Los Angeles, Ca. District Convention as well as from their literature since 1968 about 1975. My JW wife really believed in this prophecy so much and when it didn’t happen or come true. My JW wife became dissolution and depressed to the point she lose all faith and started to run around secretly with other men that lead to a divorce. After experiencing all this I realized that this was not the truth or God’s organization. So in 1977, I disassociated myself and never looked back with all the hurt and damages I received from being a JW. Since that time I have had a rewarding career and married my second wife who turned out to be the love of my life.
Joseph, thank you for sharing your story.
What an interesting story about your JW wife becoming so depressed about the prophecy not coming true. I guess that's why the WT Society changed their viewpoint on timing being Jeh's and not man's... to try make up for their mistake. I wonder how many people fell away after that event.
I'm so glad to hear you broke free from it and have moved on to an amazing life!
Wow, someone who's been out about as long as I have. wish they had social media back then. Felt all alone there cause I didn't seem to fit in.
This took alot of courage for an 18 year old. I applaud you.
mymiracle79 Thank you. :)
Very touching and authentic story. Since you're not wearing a wedding ring, I can assume that you're divorced. After having that kind of marital trauma when your first married, that would cause a lot of stress on the marriage. Marriages are stressful enough and to start your new life as a wife, without being able to share that with your family and friends. That would be a lot of stress on your marriage. You missed out on that. I was a JW. I had to drive my truck, to take care of my family. While she was cheating with other members of the congregation. She never even got disfellowshipped. And she's in good standing to this day. I had custody of my daughter for 4 years after she left the kids to me. My daughter said when she gets married if she needs marriage advice she would come to me. Not her mother. So I guess I did something right.
Thanks for your comment and sharing. I'm sorry to hear you went through an unfaithful marriage. My husband cheated on me too. We were married for 17 years, and he was my best friend. However, after learning about his deceit, I couldn't stay with him. I'm now in a very healthy and loving relationship. It sounds like you definitely did something right with your daughter, good for you!
Btw... my next video shares about the divorce and leaving the JW religion. :)
Thanks for sharing a part of your life story with the community!...Looking forward to hearing more!..Just subbed! ❤️
Thanks for your note and for tuning in! More to come! :)
I remember a daughter of an elder in San Rafael, CA that had an affair with a very married 30 something brother. He got a divorce and married the teenager. His ex wife was ostracized. I heard comments like, "Maybe if she was rendering him his due this wouldn't have happened!" I could never figure that one out because they were obviously doing the wild thing and had children together. He had wandering eyes and hands.
I've heard similar comments through the congregation when people would get divorced, etc. Awful. Victim shaming at it's finest.
@@LivingTruth1 Oddly, it is always the women and children who are victims that get demonized and shunned. The good old boys club goes to court on behalf of a serial rapist and will shun more than 3 or 12 victims by the same "brother." It doesn't matter. Those with penises have to stick together, especially when they have similar junk in the trunk as the sex offender. Oddly, the Watchtower Society does not talk about inappropriate age differences, pedophilia and rape on an ongoing basis. MAYBE there will be an article once every 5 or 10 years.
Omg when was this??😳I vaguely remember hearing something about this. I’m in Sonoma county and know a bunch of JW’s from all over. I’m disfellowshipped now, but, yeah, that sounds familiar 😬
You've expressed the jw CULTure(mindset) expertly well. I know this because I lived it and saw these very things with my own eyes. Thank you
Thanks for your comment!
Thank you for talking about child brides. My first serious boyfriend was raised witness. It’s only when I look back I realize he was grooming me for marriage. I was 15/16. I guess I didn’t fit the criteria because eventually he broke up with me. Shortly after it was discovered he was secretly spending a lot of time with my 13 year old sister. My Mum put an end to this when she found out but it caused a resentment that I still hold to this day. He knew he broke my heart yet he callously sat in our parking lot and visited my relatives with my sister. Soon after he married another neighbourhood girl who I don’t think was 16 yet. He is very high up in the watchtower and bible tract society. So high up that if I mentioned his name you would undoubtedly know who I’m talking about.
This is only one story about my interaction with JW’s. I have seen this belief cause more problems in families than anything else. My story about my step children’s Mother is another story that most people would find hard to believe.
Thanks for sharing. Seems to be a common story. :(
The confinement of mind and body by the Warchtower does not create strong followers of Christ, but unquestioning, weak, and oblivious, conditioned cult followers. It's one thing to chose and make an error, its another for parents to force the choice AND it's consequences on their child. Down with the Tower. God Bless you Madam and thank you for sharing your story. If only all JWs exposed themselves to testimonies such as yours, the organization would crumble.
I'm a former witness I was baptized in 1997 I left because I didn't feel welcome in the congregation.I wasn't disfellowshiped I just decided I'd had enough and walked away.thank you for sharing your story .
Thank you for sharing. The more experiences told, the more comfort other people gain.
Just found your channel. I married a witness and she knows I’m a Christian. I found out later that her jw friends wouldn’t attend our wedding but her parents did. This after asking permission to marry me. Right after her father eldership was taken away. My wife says she still believes in Jehovah but she attends couple bible study with my church members. I love her love for God. But she won’t listen to me about the truth.
Thanks for sharing. Knowing how it is coming from the JW faith, I can only imagine the challenge you both have gone through.
That’s real love
Good for you for leaving that cult. Rock on little sister, rock on.
Thanks Tim!!
I bet you belong to another christian cult dont ya ?
yes i was disfellowshiped after my brother commited suicide, i wasnt coping and had a few to many drinks & kissed a few girls. then next thing, im in the back room getting told that im not allowed to speak to my family or friends anymore? umm righto...when i needed help the most!
8 long years later i finally meet my wife who is not a JW and we get married without any family support. we attended meetings after getting married for 3 whole years and they had no scriptural reasoning to keep me disfellowshiped, the elders mentally abused me & i was never forgiven in their eyes...the last comment the elder said to me was that i needed to wait another 3 months?????
meanwhile they were doing the same thing, talking to my wife & trying to induct her into it...weird!
i know my conscience was clean but now i am soo soo glad i have moved on from these disgusting people who dont understand what love really is! love with conditions is not love, Love to me is unconditional without any door stops or conditions attached. i really empathize with your story, your courage to make this video does wonders for my mind! sending good vibes your way!
I'm sorry for the loss of your brother. It's tough when we think we have a community of loving friends/family, and when that turns out to be so conditional.
Thank you for sharing your experience, and for being here.
Best of vibes to you! :)
This sounds like a familiar story to me. I am really sorry to hear that you had to go through that whole ordeal, in the first place!!!!😍
Thanks Danielle. :)
Shows you how fickle "Jehovah" must be and the fact that he must take sides with who you are in the congregation. In my friends congregation, her son got judged because of his hair cut. He wasn't invited to this HIGH SCHOOL sister's party for young teens. Come to find out The sister (that was doing the invite) was a babysitter to a ministerial servant and having an affair with him. When it was found out; overnight he got a divorce and married her. They show up in the congregation married AND NOT A WORD WAS SAID! No reproof! No dis-fellowship! NOTHING!
Hey, thanks for sharing your story.
Thanks! :)
ExJW Critical Thinker of course you would like it lol! You never mentioned that. Was that going on in your congregation critical thinker?
@exjwcriticalthinker y'all rock
Great vid. I was raised in jw, out at 13 thanks to my mom's awakening. It definitely does still impact me. I'm like a learned introvert due to that's how the religion is.
Just found your channel.When I left it was a big relief.
Relief, yes! It was amazing how 'light' I felt after a while being away.
You JW's shouldn't be commenting on these posts! Tsk, tsk!
Great job. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you! :)
I'm so sorry for what you had to go through, but it's a testimony to how strong of a person you are, that you're still here, standing in front of that camera and share your story even though you had to live through so much shaming and guilt.
I'm watching you're videos for the first time and i wish I had seen them sooner and wish too that I had the guts to do what you are doing. Sharing you're story has really helped me get through. Our situations are almost identical it is unreal. I was born into a JW family and was baptized at 14. I was one for 25 years. And they are all still very much a part of the "religion" so it is a very difficult situation. But i want to thank you for speaking out because this can be quite isolating but it makes me feel like I am not alone. Please keep doing what you are because you are helping so many who are struggling. Much love.
Vatencya Star Thank you so much for your comment. I have been on the fence lately as to whether to continue doing videos, and providing value to this community without being an exjw vent-fest! You’ve encouraged me here, and I think I will get more videos going in a few weeks. (Life has been crazy with lots of changes - all good - but moving too!)
You are so right about the isolation... and wild that my story is similar to you. Glad you found me! x
Thanks again for reaching out! See you in a few weeks! :)
Very Very HONEST Video!!! Thanks For Sharing!!!
Thanks for your comment! 🙏
Here’s the blatant ignorance of the JC process: they say their decision is fromJehovah but they offer a provision to appeal that decision in case they are wrong. If it truly was a decision made by Jehovah there should be no provision to question the decision in case of error. Weird huh?
Jason W Now that's a great way to look at it! Thanks for sharing!
Jason you are so wrong with that conclusion read your Bible, so many of the so called prophets are recorded as questioning Jehovah's decisions here's just a few: 1. Moses & the golden calf (Exodus 32:9-14)
2. Abraham pleads for Sodom Genisis 18:16-32) 3. Hezekiah pleads to add years to his life (2 Kings 20:1-11)
It's too easy to be a critic when you just take in one side of the story... Believe nothing, QUESTION EVERYTHING..!
Exactly!
I got baptized when I was 14 years old.
To avoid fornication I married to a brother when I was 18 years old. On fact, I was married 3 times. Twice to so called brothers and once to a worldly man. I was disfellowshiped twice. Later on life I disassociated myself which happened last year 2018.
I now realize the approval I need comes from my heavenly Father and not from The WT organization and their elders. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing. Stories like yours make me so glad that I never wound up being a JW child bride!! I wanted to be at the time but rebelled and it was the best thing I could’ve done. Welcome to freedom ❤️
Good for you! Thanks for your comment!
I wasn't going to mention this until you asked about similar disfellowshipping. I was 35, had 3 kids, and a wife. Got diagnosed with a cyst in my brain and my prognosis was I would be dead within a year or two. That was in 2005. Wife did not want to take care of me and kicked me out, even got a restraining order to make sure I couldn't come back. Long story short. 15 months later, my health was deterorating and doctors said I should not be living alone. So I got a friend who use to be a CPA and needed a place to live to move in. She had her own room upstairs and I was downstairs, and my oldest daughter was living with us to. Her mother, my ex, had pimped her out for drugs after she had me kicked out, and yes her mother was a JW, and has never been DF'd. When the elder found out I had a live in nurse, they said I was committing adultery. Told me to marry her or be disfellowshipped. We got married 3 weeks later, when I got my SSDI check and could afford to do so. By then they had already disfellowshipped me. My new wife was studying. So very similar in some ways, but not the age thing.
Thanks for sharing your story. It's amazing how much control over people's lives the elders have. Hope you are well, and happy.
Thank you so much for making these videos! You are a very strong woman and an inspiration.
Thank you!
Hi. Ran across your video and was really encouraged and would like to commend you on your attitude. I've been out close to thirty years and just within the last sixty days after viewing different experiences and the truth about the organization, I can finally breathe from this. Only advice I would recommend is stay with The Gospel and maybe the kickback family. May God Bless.
Thank you for your comment, Darlene. My only purpose in sharing my 'stuff' is that it just might resonate with someone else so they don't feel alone with processing the various traumas that came from the programming. Good for you!
I experienced things very similar with regards to the fakeness when my mom passed away and the congregation didn’t lift a finger because of me.... (she was still a baptized member of the congregation and in my experience, the congregation would always ‘step up’ and take care of their ‘sister’), and as a disfellowshiped person, they wouldn’t/weren’t allowed to talk to me, but at the funeral it was somehow ok for people to talk to me....made me sick how fake everything was, and really took my opportunity to grieve away at my own mothers funeral
Sorry that this happened at your mother's funeral, very cold and unloving.
So proud of you. Thanks for leaving.
Truly interesting account. Thank you for sharing.
love you and your wonderful communicating skills - in contrast with JWs you feel so so real
Thank you for your kind words, Olga! After I moved on from the religion, it became so important to NOT judge others and to be authentic. Really live truthfully.
Olga Bailer You know why she has such a great communicating skill. Because she was a JW
Great video!! One thing that stuck with me: your judicial comitee was held to supposedly judge whether you were repentant. Repentant means 'to turn away from'. Surely by marrying your boyfriend you had stopped sinning and actually turned away from it by getting married. There was your repentance right there.
Good points, Ricky! Thanks for your comment! :)
Thanks for sharing your story. It is intimately familiar to me as I have also lived it. I've subscribed.
Thanks! Amazing how similar all our stories are, and yet if you were to describe such things to an active JW, they won't believe you, or will make excuses for it.
Lot's of courage, sending love from Punta Cana, Dominican Rep
Once the parasite is removed, the healing begins. And the healing is AWESOME.
You're sooo right! Healing IS awesome!
Wow your story is way to familiar. It's almost exactly how I got married at 19 and was married for 19yrs before it ended. This religion forces you to make a decision way to early in life, as I was told break up or get married. I had no business even thinking of marriage but as a 3rd gen as yourself all the family supported 2 kids making a very bad commitment at that age. As you said it was all about the sex. I have been free from that craziness since 2012, I was DF'ed without my knowledge. Lol best thing that happened. Great video first time I seen your channel and I subscribed. Thank you
Thanks, and for sharing your story! I didn't realize they could DF without your knowledge?! Glad you're away from it too... freedom!
I loved hearing your story. I was also dfed. I got reinstated with the intention of fading. Now I still can talk with my family but I haven't been to a meeting in 2 years.
Lots of love from Syracuse NY
Thank you for sharing your story. I got married at age 17 for the same reasons as you, but was able to avoid being disfellowshipped. My husband died 18 years later and I went off to find myself and eventually the elders had me cornered. I was disfellowshipped at age 35. Best day of my life! I have never been happier.
Thanks for sharing! Glad to hear you're happy and free! x
What a weird situation where your husband who was never baptized had all the support from the congregation, but you were shunned and took the brunt of it. Very typical of a man made, man controlled religion. So glad you got out!
Thank you... me too!
It was so strange, and I wish I could've left it back then. Young and naive.
The exact thing happened to me, except I was an unbaptised publisher. We slept together before we got married so it was a rush to get married. I turned 18 one Saturday and we were married the following Saturday. Then I was removed as a publisher. He was not baptised/not a publisher so nothing happened to him. We broke up in 2008, married nearly 15 years. I got disfellowshipped then, without a meeting, they just announced it, nothing ever happened to him. He had a porn addiction while we were married. So much deciet goes on in that religion, he was a professional at decieving. He is now giving public talks, I think he is a ministerial servant.
Wow, some of our stories are so similar.
I've heard of some people getting DF'd without a judicial committee, so strange.
Thanks for sharing. :)
I was a teen bride too. At 16 I started dating a guy in the KH who was 18... if you can call it “dating”. Never allowed to be alone for even a minute. The elders “thought” we “might” commit fornication, so they strongly recommended that we get married! Neither of us were baptized & had never been in trouble. So, of course, that’s what our parents told us to do! I was still a senior in high school!! I wasn’t allowed to finish school or graduate because they had a rule that no students could be married. So I was forced to quit with just 6 mo left to go before graduation. Thank goodness I never got pregnant until I was 21!! We were married for 42 years when he passed away. No major problems, but gosh, looking back it could’ve been a disaster! Stayed in the organization until I was 40, so between getting married so young & being in a cult half my life, I missed out on so much life 🥺
Thanks for sharing. Yes, dating as a JW is so constricted and feels like everyone is constantly watching you. Glad it worked out for you, and sorry for your loss too. x
Hi,
Your video really struck a chord with me. Very honest and open account of your experience. I especially liked your point about being true to yourself. Over the years I have become dissillussioned with the organisation for many reasons such as yours. It is quite sad and ironic that genuine loving people can switch their love off like a light and then switch it back on when they are 'allowed' to. You nailed it when you said it is just all fake. The organisation has an endless list of rules that would make a pharisee smile like a Cheshire cat. Of course the society see things differently as keeping the congregation clean. Their endless rules have turned the organisation into high control religion that has a one size fits all disfellowshipping policy. Your example is a case in point. You were a young naive girl of 17 and they threw the book at you.
I reluctantly joined this religion 26 years ago under pressure from others. I felt the control then as a young man and I still feel it today. What truly woke me up was the dismissive uncaring attitude shown by elders and branch overseers at the Australian Royal commission when questioned about the shunning policy. Yes the fake love was truly put in the spot light. Also the appalling Watchtower studies and videos promoting the shunning of relatives if they are disfellowshipped.. You are even shunned if you officially choose to leave the organisation (disassociate). No honourable way out!
I find the control, intrusiveness and judgementalism unfathomable! Sadly, the nice folk at our local Kingdom Halls go along with it 'out of fear'. I know, because I have for many years.
Being true to yourself is the gem that all of us possess. Thank you once again for sharing your experience. My hope is that the organisation reforms itself by bringing an end to the cruel man made shunning policy and actually bases it's teachings on God's word. I have watched many videos like yours. This the first time I have decided to be open as to who I am.
Best regards
Sean
Thank you for your comment, Sean, and sharing some of your experiences around your involvement with it all. You're right, being true to ourselves is the gem. All the best. :)
Living Truth Thank you :-)
Not one Jehovah’s Witness is aware that when you appeal the elder’s decision of disfellowshipping you is worthless. No decision is overturned. You believe the new committee is about your repentance when it’s just to verify if the elders followed protocol.
Living Truth, that is basically how my dissfellowshipping went down. I was coming out of a bad marriage, got married young... Newly divorced, met a lady that was studying, had premarital sex, eloped, told the elders, was told that I was getting dissfellowshiped... I trusted that it was God decision, let it happen... Turned in my reinstatement letter at 6 months... It was thrown in my face in the Kingdom Hall parking lot... That was my moment of waking up and venturing out, I was told about the Sheppard The Flock book, everything after that is history. Great video, keep up the good work... Meanwhile 12 years later I'm still happily married.
Thanks for sharing, Mark. That's an awful display of power/control to have your letter thrown in your face... where's the love?!
Glad to hear things worked out! There is a 'Happily Ever After'! :)
Hi do you have any tips to convince jehova witnesses? Or what does always work to convince?
I grew up a JW but I was always looked at and judged no matter what I did. I remember one elder found out I wanted to regular pioneer, He said I couldn't because I didnt wear a seatbelt. I was so mad, I was 16 and wanted to pioneer so I thought. I stopped going once I was 21. I only went to memorial but kept my distance.
Thanks for sharing. Good bye to the rules! :)
I was disfellowshipped because i did civil service instead of going in the military, and that wasn't allowed at that time (mid eighties). I wasn't even baptised when the elders disfellowshipped me. So i know what it feels to being shunned by the whole congragation. After a year i quit going to the meetings and at the same time i was free from the control cult. :-)
Thanks for sharing. :)
Thanks for sharing and I have now subscribed 👍 love the way you just come across so naturally and me being a brit the way you say 'anways' ha. I grew up JW married and now divorced and now 'faded' so although each persons experience is different I can still see some similarities when it comes to the 'Truth' and 'Elders' etc (Oh and as you mentioned in another posting you made - the 'truth leaving me' one - the fakeness of it all) I recommend the John Cedars channel it's a great mine of information. 🙂 'anyways' thanks again and I will keep watching 👍
Thank you for your kind comments! :)
You are so funny! Love your attitude !!
Thank you! 🤗
Me and my former wife lived 30 years in that arrangement until we finally realized, that the only reason we got married were all the reasons you described. 30 years! Wow. I must be a slow learner.
Now what I know what I know, I wish I would of told them to f**ck off. I’m in my 50’s now and feel that I wouldn’t care if I died at Armageddon, because living with those types is worse then hell.
Thanks for sharing. Amazing how that happens, but it's so common... the comfort zone. Hope you're happy now! :)
I will write a book some day. Recovering is the perfect way to describe it. Crazy life. Hearing you talk about all that sure brings back memories. Walked away knowing I would lose all the friends after many years had but but there loss right. But as you know it still hurts. I served on a number of committees and have regrets. I believe it’s a screwed up place. Sorry you went through all that. The way you were treated was wrong. Self righteous is the whole religion.
Thanks for sharing how you named your channel. Nice!
Thanks!
Wonderful story. Thank you so much. I one day hope to share my story and do a video too. well done 👍
Looking forward to it. :)
You give me hope. My nephew is third generation, just turned 17 and is already "happy" to be a pioneer. My sister sees nothing wrong with him getting married by the time he's 18 or 19.
There is a lot of excitement and encouragement that the organization and congregants dole out to pioneers. Pioneers are special and treated as such... so for a 17yo, it's a great feeling, no doubt.
Amazing that the mindset continues to marry so young.
Now that I'm out, I have developed closer relationships with my non-JW side of the family that I never got to know growing up, which has been a gift in itself.
Thank you for sharing your experience great video
What a dear beautiful girl you are. I have many nieces and nephews on the Ronan side who are JW's. My two brothers who were older got disfellowshipped thank goodness and are now in heaven. What a Stranglehold they have on their congregation and in your video you mentioned the conditional love. That was the very best part. I hope and pray that many can come away after viewing your video thank you
Sharon Walters Thank you for your kind comments. 🤗
In our family we jokingly say "the false" since we realize that religion is not the THRUTH! We still have my dad and 2 brothers in this. Keep praying for those to have their eyes opened somehow!
And another thing....the judicial committee takes the matter in prayer to Jehovah and immediately they have an answer? They know right away they have to disfellowship you. I seriously doubt it was the answer to their prayers that made the decision! Geez.
Kathy Fitzsimmons Totally.. I agree!
Kathy Fitzsimmons Funny... haven't heard 'The False' before. Why not. :) Thanks for sharing.
It is not a cult, anyone can leave if they want, and all the people saying they didn't feel part of the congregation who where you following, people or Jehovah
I'm sorry that happened to you. Some years ago, I went to a meeting and stopped at the back row to say hello to a young "brother". He said he couldn't talk because he was df'd. As long as I'd been going, I'd never really been told how that worked so I shrugged my shoulders and talked to him anyway, and when I saw him at other times I'd just smile and wave at him. I never knew anyone else who'd been df'd, but if I did I wasn't going to ignore them.
There was another young lady who had psychological issues and eventually told the jw's to leave her alone. She wasn't df'd, but I think they thought she was maybe an "apostate". Regardless, I remained her friend and even told an older "sister" about her difficulties. That "sister" commended me for doing that and said that it just might be an encouragement for her to come back and to keep it up! I thought, "how is one supposed to come back if they don't have the encouragement?" Anyway, after I left 2 1/2 years ago, I contacted her and let her know why I left and she said that she never went back either.
Thanks for sharing. :)
I can also relate to your story! I was born into a Witness family and went to meetings as a small child! But, one thing different about me and many of the stories I've read, for whatever reason, "I never felt comfortable going to the meetings"! Even as a 6 or 7 year old! I always felt "distant from everybody there", NEVER close to anyone! I guess I was born "an Introvert" of sorts?? Whatever it was, I was not looking forward to going to meetings, doing any skits/plays they put on. This also was around the time that the Vietnam war was going on, so I think I started to rebel against everything in life! Long story short, I never got Baptized, so I never got disfellowshipped !! Which somehow kept me from being "SHUNNED" by my family! I guess, my Parents might have been somewhat WEAK in the Truth? Whatever it was, "they probably loved me more than they loved the people in the congregation" so to this day they still communicate with me! Of coarse I had a brother and a sister that stayed in the Truth and advanced further into their religion! BUT, I want to say right now, "I have stayed the same person that I was then as a child as I am now over 50 years later"!! And, I am not what I hear over and over and over again, and that is "a Fake or Phony type person"!! I also feel like "I became a person WHO CAN ACTUALLY THINK" about everything and anything, WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY !! Looking back, I did what I had to to stay Sane! I still believe in God, I just don't think to much about Religion/People ! Everybody has their own opinion "AND THAT'S ALL THAT IT IS"! Their own opinion !! My suggestion to you, stay strong, go forward and find some Good people to surround you with. But good people "WITHOUT AN AGENDA"!! That like you for being you!! Take care!!
Thanks for your comment and sharing your experiences. Best to you! :)
The religion changed rules recently and now they shun unbaptized too. If they don't shun the new definition of Apostate, then the JWs will reprimand and/or shun the people who won't shun the umbaptized! It's insane. They're doing this to me now! I am a good person. I feel free to speak on my experiences being in that cult. That isn't allowed. No one can be honest about their experiences with Jehovah's Witnesses. No, everyone must be dishonest and protect the fake image JWs project
Thank you for sharing your story , I admire you for fortitude of being able to tell to the world. I’m torn a bit about your story - You mention a lot of pre cursors that led to a predictable domino effect in the end.
They're never wrong until they get "new light" and the light gets brighter and brighter. That means they made mistakes and needs to do damage control.
Jehovah's Witnesses are so unforgiving, they rather exercise power instead of mercy. That's what happens when you give ignorant people a title or position when they don't qualify -religiously or spiritually - for the position. How soon they forget what that Jesus said "he who has not sinned should cast the first stone."
So true.
Awesome story. I also was a JW child bride at 18. Took me a few years of devastating depression and numbness before I left my marriage and wrote an official letter to HQ, losing everyone I knew, overnight. Best decision of my life. Of course the elder that DF'd you had a porn addiction! OMG. Classic. I wish you the happiest, light-filled life possible. Hugs
Thanl YOU so much for telling your story. Im so heartbroken i walked around thinking i was nothing bc of this religion. I feel so robbed of life. :/
The elders in my hall were dead wrong to remove forensic evidence from my front yard...a shot gun shell casing after telling the rapist I told on him. Yet they told everyone I was "apostate...a slanderer...mentally ill because I did not have 2 to 3 witnesses (perverts that watch and do not call the police) to the crime."
I love the Japanese screen. Makes me wonder if there's a mess behind it! ;-)
My husband was a born-in JW. After we started dating, I began studying. We decided to marry within 6 months so that we could attend the convention and share a hotel room. Basically, the convention was our honeymoon (good grief). We didn't have a wedding either, as we were only 17, and had no savings (and my mother wasn't terribly pleased). Neither of us were ever baptized, and he did a fine job of waking me up before our children were very old. We have been married over 22 years now, and our kids are 17, 19, and 21. And, we both ended up with some college under our belts, and our kids are either in or on their way to university, as well. Things would have been very different had we chosen to stick with that religion. Most of his JW family (including his mom) does not associate with us anymore. She's never even met her granddaughter (my BIL's daughter). High-control groups are the worst.
Sounds like a great outcome... and so luck since the cards were stacked against you! It's crazy how the JW family members will put the religion before their own flesh and blood. Sad... been there too. Glad we're on the other side though. Thanks so much for sharing! x
What made you leave the organization after being there for over 10 years
With parents still involved, I can't imagine how much courage it took to deal with all the pain and unhappiness you had thrown at you. The JW way of life just doesn't work, suicides, isolation from non-JWs, child sexual abuse, fear, guilt, threatening leaders. The woman was right you are a beautiful lady, with 100,000 watt smile. You can't be 35! 25 maybe, but not 30 or 35. Great video, I hope life from now on will have few problems but lots of great moments.
Thank you for your comments and kind words! :)
Thank you for your story all the best
Something I'd better tell you your not just a good looker your wonderful.
I'm not a JW , but living a double life and lying about it as so many JWs do is called hypocrisy. However glad your'e out and living your life openly as you choose to .
Thank you for telling your story, it is shocking that you were d/f after you had shown repentance and you got married as well. Elders have been given way too much power from a fake GB. It is debatable whether 17/18 is too young to get married i know of some couples (not jw,) who met at that age and remained life long partners. Your marriage lasted 17 yrs you are to be commended many don't last a fraction of that!
Thanks for your comment. You're right, I know a lot of people that were married young, still married... I know it can work. I got married too soon because of the events around it, and the elders were also telling us that we couldn't be together anymore, (I forgot about that part until just now!). You're right though, elders have way too much power over peoples lives... it's awful really.
In some parts of Europe, sixteen is old enough to marry.
Thank you for sharing
Thank you for sharing your story. I am not a JW, never have, and of course I never will. I admire and respect you and all ex JWs that have had the courage awaken and to redo their life and be free with a mind of their own. Much love to all.
Thanks for watching and sharing your kind comment. Much love.
I now understand fully..... I have felt this same way for 25 years. I never understood this entire process until I got older.
Thank you for doing this video, I too was df, and reinstated. I felt like I had leprosy. That feeling of being invisible. Such hypocrisy... 😢
Thanks, and for sharing.
That invisible feeling, awful... conditional love. :(
Had to be dragged through that garbage for years and years during my youth, finally got away from the bull-shit! - kind of broke my life apart, but finally got away! - Good Luck with everything!
Thanks for sharing. It's great to be free from it!
Best to you. :)
Hey, THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR BROTHER. .
One hall made my mom feel like crap because she didn't wear dresses. ..found a KH she loved an hour away. She absolutely loved it there. She passed away at only 50 unexpectedly and it was horrible. I asked if we could have a memorial service for her (that was her ONE wish) they told me no because she wasn't baptized. T H I S is what makes me no longer "Religious" but I have a relationship with God and try to be the best I can be.thanks for sharing ♡♡
Thanks for sharing. x
Thank you for sharing.
Jw org was a horrible thing to experience as a child and a teenager. In 1998 I learned the "real truth " of this org. I was raised in it and ran away from home at 17. Felt lost and confused for years. Lost all my childhood friends after leaving the org at 17.
I'm 62 now. Your video caught my attention because your so young and telling your story.
I enjoyed hearing it.
Keep up telling the real truths about this mind controlling, life destroying cult org.
this is EXACTLY what happened to me! 😯 its like your talking about MY story. i had sex b4 marriage with my unbaptized boyfriend at the age of 17..we got married...then i got disfellowshiped. i feel your frustration ❤ i really wish i didn't get married so young 😔 but we were forced to at the time...we thought we were fixing it! the elders made us feel thats what we had to do for me NOT be disfellowshiped...but then disfellowshiped me anyway 1 week after our wedding :/ i was done...i left at 18 and never looked back. thanks 4 telling your story! im amazed at how similar it is to mine lol wow x
Thanks for sharing. Wow amazing how similar! Good for you, for getting out. I wanted to quit back then when they DF'd me too, but my husband was really wanting to get baptized and persuaded me to the meetings to get reinstated eventually.
Best to you! x
I can relate to this experience in many ways, except I was the unbaptized wife of a JW who got shunned and attended meetings. He, on the one hand would get upset if I didn't go with him to meetings and sit with him, but then would also get upset (understandably) when the sisters would come over to greet me and make a fuss of our newborn baby. So I stopped going to meetings as I did not agree with the shunning at all.
We had thought he was shunned for marrying me, but later found out there had been a mix up and he was being shunned for something that happened 2 congregations before, 10 years before meeting me, when he'd disassociated himself. He'd actually been reinstated for that and even got reproved in the second congregation when he'd met me got me studying with his parents and proposed to me just as I was leaving the country to go home. So we'd experienced the whole being in trouble for getting engaged, then getting married anyway, going back to it, confessing our marriage, thinking he's disfellowshipped, but getting announced as disassociated at this new 3rd congregation in my hometown. This was only because when he'd sat with me at the back of the hall and we'd told the elders everything, he went back and mentioned his former disassociation, but didn't mention he'd been reinstated abroad just before meeting me, so I don't think his meeting with the elders was very thorough. I found out after his suicide, that all that time he was being shunned, it wasn't for marrying me at all. Listening to you, I realize he still would've been shunned even if they hadn't made a mistake. It is taking me back to how it felt like for my husband to be sitting at those meetings with everyone coming over to me and the baby and ignoring him. We were encouraging needless problems in our young married life, but he really thought it was 'The Truth' and was angry with me for not submitting and going along beside him with our baby.
This is a lovely, factual and respectful video. You are so brave.
Thank you for sharing this story. I'm so sorry this all happened to him, and you. And I'm deeply sad that he committed suicide, which I'm sure was due to all this mistreatment of him.
This brings up a subject that I don't see being talked about, but that I came across through a blog a few years ago, about the amount of DF'd and shunned JW's that end up taking their lives. It's so traumatic.
I hope you're in a happy place. Sending hugs. x
Thanks. He was apparently due to be reinstated the week after his death. I blamed myself for a while, but am so glad to have seen so many other people sharing their stories and it has been a long time ago now.
It's awful. You're not to blame for others actions. x
I was christened/baptism as a baby in London. My parents married prior in the Church of England. My mother met a teacher when we lived in Kent. When our family moved to America, my mother was baptized as one of the Jehovah’s Witness. My mother’s and father’s family is Roman Catholic in Jamaica. I loved I was raised as a JW. Once I was baptized, again, right after HS, not so much. Didn’t realize it then, but I met my future husband. We married when I was twenty three for almost eight years. I dated two other men when my husband to be and I were on and off. I was disfellowshipped several months before. After marriage, I graduated university, worked and paid taxes. I returned to the Episcopal church sixteen years later.
Thanks for sharing. :)
“We are never wrong”.....What happened to we are all born imperfect. They used their positions to put a hold over you.
it's humiliating. your story could have been my story. baptized at 13..married at 17. disfellowshipped soon after. my husband was also studying with them. blah blah blah..same crap, just different people. thank you for sharing. I can really relate. I was disfellowshipped twice. last time was it for me. I knew they did not know what God wanted.
Thanks for your comment. Interesting how many are married and baptized so young.... which, of course, is part of the JWorg's strategy to keep numbers. Glad you're out and moving on! :)