Gabe Newell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA you and ha i hacked all of ur games and all of them are multiplayer like i know how to download left 4 dead 2 MP muhahahahahahah
One of the funniest things about this, in my opinion: So many GMod and SFM YTP-style videos show Heavy as a complete idiot, yet canonically, he's actually one of the smartest mercs. He just doesn't feel a need to go out of his way to prove it.
No! It costs 9,999,999,999 universes to fire this weapon for a trillionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a milli-split-second
This might be my favorite SFM/Gmod short ever. Everything is just random enough while still being coherent to have a great punchline. All the humor is condensed into one minute.
soldier:hey how many buds can a strange rocket luancher have? medic:nine soldier:wow dont know that much how about keys? medic: nine soldier:my gosh this is the rarest.
0:40 I repeated this part a lot of times because I loved the exchage and how the Medic (a smart guy) is so frustrated by 2+2 that he cuts Heavy with a deadpan "no". Then I decided to keep watching the video and the 9 came up, so I died.
You are seriously all misaken. 2+2 = 42, because 42 is the answer to life, the universe, and EVERYTHING. also 2 and 2 = 4, and 4 and 2 = 42. Mystery solved. Can I get a hat now.
You guys are stupid as heck,the answer is goddamn 4.let me show you some example:If I have 2 apples and two bananas then they will stick togethet and that will be 4...so do you understand now,dummies?😠
A guy: "Alright, can you answer this? 4 + 4?" Medic: "Nein!" A guy: "Wrong! I- wait, what? Nine? Are you fucking stupid?" Medic: "NEIN!" A guy: "Uggh..."
+Yug Inavoviristêncio He's actually decently thoughtful in the comics, particularly in the TF Comics series. In my opinion everyone should read those at this point, they actually cover the backstory of a lot of the mercs.
I think I had a nightmare like this once, I knew it was a dream when my teacher started talking about traffic on I-95. Thankfully I woke up and remembered I'm not in school anymore.
Heavy: put medic help me Medic:ok Heavy:2+1= how much Medic: 3 Heavy:noo is 9 Medic: nine you idol's Me:is 3 wrong you said heavy -_-" Congratulations medic
![Jolly Rancher [SFM]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/P6mplgr1ggc/mqdefault.jpg)
![Jolly Rancher [SFM]](/img/tr.png)
Remember kids, never buy a box from a strange man who is willing to accept babies as a currency or you may end up with a surprise math test.
Well now i know!
Lunatic With A License I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for the advice... also, is it weird that I could see that happening to me one day?
Lunatic With A License if only I had been told this eleven years ago...
that makes sense
Btw, if you will buy free kerambit skin from spy... You will get surprise buttsecks
basic valve math.
0+1=1
1+1=2
2+1= impossible
Its 3 you dumbass!
kitkatkid1976 bro is a joke
DEAL WITH IT
Gabe Newell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA you and ha i hacked all of ur games and all of them are multiplayer like i know how to download left 4 dead 2 MP muhahahahahahah
nope i am not i am just smart guy and dont buy >:D
Gabe Newell reading your comments in gabe newell's voice is quite entertaining.
2+2=NEIN
2+2=9 (nein)
Minus 1 that's [VALVE CAN'T COUNT]. Quick mafs.
Ja das ist richtig
thats the answer :D
Aaaah thank you for beeing such a good friend
Heavy: Medic, help me!
Medic: Nein!
*Heavy writes down 9*
Me: *loses it*
oh yeah
And i thought there was only one Cirno.
The Magnificent Pearl Bones ja!
Consarn (｡ŏ_ŏ)
I only just now got it lmao
"i have yet to meet one who can outsmart bullet"
Using that soundbite from Medic as a number. Genius.
One of the funniest things about this, in my opinion:
So many GMod and SFM YTP-style videos show Heavy as a complete idiot, yet canonically, he's actually one of the smartest mercs. He just doesn't feel a need to go out of his way to prove it.
Dark Dragon Yes, that too.
+Dark Dragon But it wouldn't be his first language
He is Russian.
I'm pretty sure any of us wouldn't be great if it wasn't our first language. Try learning German and you'll see.
After all, he has a PhD in Russian Literature.
canon heavy: *has a PhD in russian literature*
SFM heavy: 2+2=9
So this means no half life 4
respond or I will delete your minecraft account
wow only 2 replies! (im the 3rd)
Half life 9
@@OttoRenUlson half life NEIN
heavy is left handed...
***** I am ambidextrous. How bout dat?
***** I think left handed people were considered witches as well.
I was a witch converted to right apparently then 😅
***** no I'm not really ambidextrous. But my right hand is my primary hand. Although I do use my left hand to assist me in some situations.
Jaspar Chong im ambidextrous :3
At least Spy drew a little sadface :'(
What kind of test would medic have if he was that frustrated?
A medical test.
Floyd Keim III and that's how he lost his medical license....
Drogoththedragonlord Why ribs grow back.
MarioInDahRhythm 9!
Marvin C XD
It's 22. Duh.
What's the matter you freakin stupid the answer is 4 you dumbass
Hopefully, you are joking, right? Because I was. That's the joke.
Kitkatkid you are so FUCKING. STUPID if you have no sense of humor then please gtfo from youtube and go cry for your mom
olli toivanen lol
+undamped shined i hope that was a joke
An unexpected math test... I feel the feels that heavy feels.
i can feel how you feel you are feeling the feels that heavy feels.
RaxisESP
I feel you too bro, I feel you too.
i feel nothing
Tumbolisu NOBODY DETECTED
* keyblade magicz *
RaxisESP I can Feel the feeling of what you feel how you are feeling the feels the heavy feels...
Oh wait a se... "BOOOOM" (mindblowing!)
it costs 400,000 dollars to fire this weapon for 10 seconds....
Can't add 2 + 2
HAHAHAAHA TRUE!
***** no no NO! That's fourteen!
No! It costs 9,999,999,999 universes to fire this weapon for a trillionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a trillionth of a milli-split-second
200$ bullets with 10K rounds per minute. 2K rounds in 12 seconds, multiplied with the cost of each bullet, 400K $
True and his multiple phds did nothing as well
The answer was 9 but the spy misread it and thought it was a g
Or medic said 'nein' which means 'no' in German, given the fact that medic IS german
Ryan Cartwright We all know that, boy.
Ryan Cartwright stupid stupid stupid baby man
I wonder why the Spy wrote his name on Heavy's paper.
I have been summoned
See this is the problem this the school system in America, his got one question wrong so he automatically fails.
+Koppu1doragon It would be pretty bad if the American school system was actually like that, haha
+Koppu1doragon There was only one question on the test, and it was super easy.
Unfunny Dilbert 1876
That was the joke
Koppu1doragon I don't get it.
+Koppu1doragon 'Unfunny Dilbert'
Got the nein/nine joke immediately. Loved it.
yeah
that's because your dumb. i got it before immediately. exactly 1 hour before immediately.
Hoploo
I thought he said no,
Same
"Medic help me!"
"Nein!"
-writes nine as the answer
lost it.
Me: joke flies over my head
_reads comments_
Me: *WHEEEEEEEEEZE*
I think this is robotic 3D animation
@@ifeelverydead9180 it's gmod lmao
@@mirabile1221 it's SFM lmao
@@Marcel38281 well both lmao
Heavy: MEDIC, HELP ME!!!
Medic: NEIN!!
Heavy: *writes down 9*
I wonder why the medic struggled with the test, he must have assumed it was a trick question.
voodoodummie he was trying to get his medical license back.
Of course heavy failed, everyone knows 2+2= fish
Heavy:Medic,Help me!
Medic:Nein!
*WRITES DOWN NIEN*
Me: GENIUS!
Roger that, Sputnik.
That's right, comrade
yes very genius
I lost my shit
2+2=9
I can show it ok look
2
What is two?
Its 2
Theres two twos
2+2+2+2=8
What is half of two?
1
2+2+2+2+1=9
HEAVY IS GENIUS
+Nathan Drake you dis not get the joke arent you
exactly!!!!
I don't get it wtf?
Too complicated, brain exploded, toaster stuck in my penis.
nein!
I think babies would make a wonderful currency
Professor Periodic yum
They're good substitutes for fleshlights.
@@iwanttoforceavegantoeatmea7596 Crusaders, this person right here.
Yeah instead of killing them just open up a treasury for them.
Typical day of Heavy's life in a school.
MEDIC HELP ME!
NEIN!
HARH!! *writes 9 on paper*
made my day :'D
This might be my favorite SFM/Gmod short ever. Everything is just random enough while still being coherent to have a great punchline. All the humor is condensed into one minute.
"Hey. Have you seen any German spies around here recently?"
"Nein!"
"Nine! Wow, no wonder we can't keep a lid on our intelligence."
soldier:hey how many buds can a strange rocket luancher have? medic:nine soldier:wow dont know that much how about keys? medic: nine soldier:my gosh this is the rarest.
(rasist) I think :-|
I get the joke.
Medic really said he wouldn't help Heavy, but "no" in German is "nein".
But thought he said "nine".
It took me a while to get it.
Yep haha. That's just amazing.
I speak German but it took me a while haha. That's what's even funnier.
Shankochu lol instantly got it and that's the single german word I know
Don't shit
I love how Scout had to give it to spy so he could mark it, as if he couldn't tell it was wrong lmao
Heavy: Medic! Help!
Medic: Nein!
Heavy:Ha!
*writes 9*
that was my favourite part xD
Medic told him the answer? lol
In german you say nein for no.
Nein sounds like nine in English. Das ist the joke
I got A++
NERD !
actually i have to agree on that one xD
Medic sandvich
TropicDash Bacon
xXxHiubattoxXx mati Yes...
BACONSANDVICH!!! MDDGHJKSIUAYGTFDFGHOPDOIJUHYGFG
0:40 I repeated this part a lot of times because I loved the exchage and how the Medic (a smart guy) is so frustrated by 2+2 that he cuts Heavy with a deadpan "no".
Then I decided to keep watching the video and the 9 came up, so I died.
I love how everyone in this just accepts everything without question.
I laughed SO hard when I saw Heavy's clipboard after Medic said "Nein!"...priceless.
little did he know the real answer was banana
and little did you know the bannanananananana was rotten
The answer was banana? The answer was banana? Well, you can do that equation...ON THA MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
*Laughs maniacally*
OH! OH! I THING I KNOW THE ANSWER!
2 + 2 IS OBVIOUSLY 22!
No it's obviously 1029375
You are seriously all misaken. 2+2 = 42, because 42 is the answer to life, the universe, and EVERYTHING. also 2 and 2 = 4, and 4 and 2 = 42. Mystery solved. Can I get a hat now.
No, it's fisch.
You guys are stupid as heck,the answer is goddamn 4.let me show you some example:If I have 2 apples and two bananas then they will stick togethet and that will be 4...so do you understand now,dummies?😠
@@Taghi20 you're just looking for sense of humor
"Medic! Help me!"
*"NEIN."*
"Ha!"
**Heavy writes down 9**
Why is this so fucking accurate?
A guy: Alright, can you answer this? 4 + 4?
Medic: Nein!
A guy: WRONG! ITS 44
A guy: "Alright, can you answer this? 4 + 4?"
Medic: "Nein!"
A guy: "Wrong! I- wait, what? Nine? Are you fucking stupid?"
Medic: "NEIN!"
A guy: "Uggh..."
RockLegend2 your both wrong its fish
Fire Storm You are wrong, its sandvich
9? Heavy-Cirno detected
Im upset that no one realizes why heavy wrote down 9.....
Xenomorph Drone It's perfect, that was the reason why I subscribed.
***** Yes.
Stalker Xenomorph Nein!
I know exactly why
NIEN
Dude...everyone got the joke ...
The answer is obviously fish.
Correct answer is 5.
ERMAHGERD 5 LIKES
Nine likes :P
(When posted)
AND NOW I HAVE FIVE LIKES :D
why the heck does everyone keep liking my comment when it's not even true anymore?
IT'S *WRONG!* 2+2 ISN'T 5! IT'S *6! 6!!!!!!!!!!!*
wow this is really good!!! well done man
the freaking heavy is a cirno!
Heavy is Cirno ._.
That joke HAD to happen sometime.
Uhm.....
Heavy's Perfect Math Class?
Mother of god... MOWTENDOO MAKE THAT NOW!
Heavy is giant fairy! >:D
Heavy is strongest fairy
I give this video a +Baby on Google+
Poor Heavy.
If I had a math test it would honestly be less stressful than other tests
This reminds me of myself in math.
Like it, love it and fuck it... Oh wait.
I cannot describe how much I love this Scout
This made me laugh much harder than I thought I would.
*continues to laugh and cry*
Heavy isnt stupid, he is actually very intelligent and went to university
People assume he is because of his broken English. In reality, it's just not the first language he learned.
+The Sun He is fat,and bald...That's enough for me...
No,but really,Heavy really looks like an old dummy character cartoony design.
+Yug Inavoviristêncio He's actually decently thoughtful in the comics, particularly in the TF Comics series. In my opinion everyone should read those at this point, they actually cover the backstory of a lot of the mercs.
ramlood I feel like everyone on the comics is just so diferent from how they're on the game and the Meet the team.They're still good tho.
+ramlood where can I read the comics?
just wait heavy, when you have to do quadratic equations.
@James WhiteWood hey at least algebra is not fucking calculus
i like how the medic says nein and it sounds like nine so heavy puts 9
When there is a german in my class
Nein is No
But i think it is Nine
I feel bad for Hoovy :(
What, Cirno?
⑨
0:03 The hits go with the song so well.
He just looked so happy with he’s new box. Made me feel happy to
Me when I come back from summer break xD
No one:
Heavy: *sad heavy noises
heavy: medic, help me
Medic: nein.
was the most creative joke ive ever seen on a sfm.
best nine-Nein joke i've seen
No don’t make the sandvich mad sad :(
Haha! A Touhou in-joke "9 = Baka" (baka is japanese and means "Idiot")
The joke is that "nein" means "no" in German. Nothing to do with Touhou.
"I haven't yet to meet someone that can outsmart bullet"
I think I had a nightmare like this once, I knew it was a dream when my teacher started talking about traffic on I-95. Thankfully I woke up and remembered I'm not in school anymore.
The right answer is 42 ffs.
NEIN!
O,I get it!The medic said "No" in german.Then heavy thought the medic was giving him the answer of "9"
TheAllmyne3030
Yea xD
smart humour
I love how heavy just YELLS REALLY LOUD FOR HELP during a test. No need to ask "Who does that?" as it's obvious: people who think 2+2=NEIN!
The title is me when I hear my parents fighting.
0:19 *True Story :(*
Don't worry heavy, I fail my math tests all the time. Not like I'll be using Calculus when I work at Valve or some shit.
Heavy: put medic help me
Medic:ok
Heavy:2+1= how much
Medic: 3
Heavy:noo is 9
Medic: nine you idol's
Me:is 3 wrong you said heavy -_-" Congratulations medic
He can outsmart boolet but he cant outsmart
*MATHEMATICS*
I'm not fucking stupid
Not so smart now, are ya? Are ya?!
Dear Math,
Please grow up and solve your own problems..
I'm tired of solving them for you..
please find all six trigonometric values of the point (-4, 6)
@@h0verman NEIN
@@bigdummy3443 ok then. if you think you can find nine, then do it.
... Alright, I admit it. That nine/nein part was pretty clever. XD
best line:
'Medic, HELP ME"
"Nein"
I get it. Nein in German means no and nein sounds nine. Lol! :D
Sounds like nine*
Baldi: I hear'd every door you open
Me: uh oh heavy, you better run!
Plot twist
Medic was answering his own question out loud
I swear to god the face heavy makes when spy gets the test thing is me every goddamn time I get shit I know I'm gonna fail graded
But scout cant even read how can he do math quizes
1+1:.... ehhh... this is much hard.... OH! 1+1 is 7!!!!!!!!!!
The heavy is actually really smart. His own lore says so.
Heavy takes Nein to seriously.
*Takes Nein to seriously to sell it*
MEDIC, Y DID U LIE!!!!!!! I VERY ANGRY NOW >:(((((((
he didn't lie!
he said NIEN of NO, not NIEN of 9
LDPRxPS3x1 Yep I know, but you didn't get it :D
Endergirl262 ooh it was a joke meaning they sound the same :P, srry :(
LDPRxPS3x1 It's okay, first time when I watched this I didn't understand this :D
He did not lie nein he said.
0:37 i meant
:3
Right now this resonates with me on such a high level that your mind cannot comprehend it
Don't worry, Heavy, I know your feeling. This video showed how I hate Math... *A LOT*
2+2=SandWich
Mr. N.M.P.D no 2+2=4
@@chipa632 No, 2+2 is 22.
@@yovenkahva7904 its 4 you dummy!😠
@@Taghi20 r/woooosh
@@chipa632 r/woooosh double kill
One comic stated that only 5 of the mercanaries could read so im going to take a guess who cant
Scout
Soldier
Demoman
Pyro
***** Its been shown countless times he has under average IQ
+Matt Dooley Scout could read in Expiration Date
KnuclesFan which scene?
The montage where he learns how to go on a date with spy.
No demo can read, he works (stated in a comic) like 12 jobs I think, you NEED TO READ to get most jobs
0:29
CutMan: What's the matter your cuttin' stupid.
GutsMan: NO!
I also like how theres a sad sun on Heavy's paper