Hearts of Iron 4: When Germany Doesn't Start World War 2
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- čas přidán 12. 04. 2021
- Hello chaps, recently we've been getting back into Hearts of Iron 4. The idea for this video came about after an incredibly boring game as Germany. Anyway, thanks to Private Internet Access for sponsoring this one. Check out a wunderbar deal here: www.privateinternetaccess.com...
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Right, everybody watch this 11 times before CZcams notices I'm dressed up as Hitler.
If anyone asks what you're watching, It's a serious historical documentary.
Shared, saved, Subscribed
Hey I think i know you
Um ok
@@Gravity_studioss Welcome aboard! Take a seat, biscuits are available on the table.
@@SquireComedy Thank you sir
Mein Easy Time: The Story of a Rising Industry
Part of the grand plan to passively take over the EU
@Jack the Gestapo to my knowledge kampfort isn’t a word
lol
Mein kampfy chair
@@Skylikesavation it is
Alternative title: "When Hitler gets into Art School and has a successful career painting landscapes, before running for office and winning the election for Chancellor."
Sound good
Never before have such sweeping landscapes of the French countryside been put to canvas...
wait what the hell is based imperialism?
Like, making sure people have what they need?
@@WarriorPoet01 In this universe Hitler still visits France
But only to paint and look at their urban planning
"Hitler does to Germany what Szukalski almost did to Poland had it not been for Hitler"
I have no idea how you got that ad approved
Anti war propaganda
Hi Iron :D and btw what tf was that last stream? 😂
The biggest of biggest o.g German bias
(It rivals Russian bias)
Yeah looks super offensive, right?
Squire must just be awesome with the BS to talk the client into this. ROFL
There was a comment here!
well they tried, but faced crisis in 1938
Literally me in my current play through 1941 I haven't even took Poland yet 🤣
@Zoomer Waffen YoU Can'T eVen sPeLL cRisiS rIgHt IvAn
@@Alvaro89Rus Well, you did OK the 2nd try. Do need to work on your capitalization though......
.....
....
...
oh
@Zoomer Waffen Well assuming from the name, I believe English isn’t his first language so to make less mistakes that I make in a sentence (when I’m not looking over every detail) is pretty impressive and I respect that.
There's this one sentence that sums up HoI4 on historical as Germany when you delay the war just a little bit: "Poland has joined the Chinese United Front".
Was playing as royal Spain once where the Italians joins the Asian co-prosperity sphere after Germany dragged their heels and Greece naval invaded Toranto
@@gettinglost316 Aye, I've seen that a plenty of times recently. For some reason, since the release of the last DLC the Italian AI seems more eager to join the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere than the Axis.
My personal favorite was Liberia creating it's own faction and having the US, Australia, and India join it... and winning the war against Red China.
I once saw Germany go Imperial and they joined the Comintern.
@@gustavogonzalez1884 now that sounds heretical
"What's it like only having 1testicle?" -airman who won't see his family after that question 😂
Eichman has two, but very small. Himmler has something similar. But poor old Goebbels...
@@animeAJproductions has no balls at all!
God I love that song
@@dr.vikyll7466 Amen!
If Hitler cannot answer that, i may pass my cousin's cellphone, he can. T'was a horrible accident you know...
"We're Germany, not Tannu Tuva. We built 12 factories since 1936." That one got me
Tannu what?
WELCOME TO THE UNION COMRADES
I love how that one quote seems to have made Tannu Tuva an instant meme.
@@gengarzilla1685 it was a meme long before that
@@GeraltofRivia22 not really... most people never heard of it.
"Aargh! That warmonger!"
-Adolf Hitler, apparently
Historical accuracy, sometimes you've just got to say "Who gives a smeg?"
@@SquireComedy Facts.
Speaking about Stalin or Roosevelt likely
The Yearly piece of Historical Irony
1000th like
watching this before the entirety of Squire's face is censored
Better put the video on 2x speed...
Buying those outfits probably automatically puts you on some sort of list.
Well yall know how youtube is, so yeah.
Sorry if this is ignorant, but it's that a real thing on CZcams? Is that only done in Europe? I've never seen it
@@T-34_Chan the mug for sure. I couldn't stop thinking about where the heck do you get a mug like that?
I love how you still have a British accent
I think you'll find Hitler actually had a remarkably smooth British accent.
@@SquireComedy that sounds about right
it is right
Even his German was rubbish! (according to Czech journalist Ferdinand Peroutka)
@@vaclav_fejt I am also rubbish at german
"OH, Rudolf Hess can wait, he is not going anywhere"
this is the reason why i watch this channel
Haha! Cheers lad!
@@SquireComedy btw what is this upload frequency? are you taking some sort of performance enhancing substance?
@@friedwaldderlebendige8494 Panzer Chocolate.
@@SquireComedy haha, thats a good one, i was thinking more of something along the lines of "performance enhancing covid" or soemthing
Maybe he's going to Bolivia, who knows
" I got stuck in a traffic jam outside Cologne"
"That'll be a thing of the past soon"
"What, Cologne?"
Best fucking line
Haha! Glad you enjoyed it!
Being from Cologne, that hit close to home. The traffic jams are absolutely horrendous these days.
As were the bombs.
F for Cologne tho, the only fucking thing left of the old classical center is the cathedral itself, and it's been under constant reformation since 1956
As an ex-Düsseldorfian I would have approved.
@@riograndedosulball248 F
Imagine not playing on 1 speed for maximal realism and historical accuracy
I saw that pyramid elsewhere today...
Imagine not using "HOI4 In Real Time" mod for maximum immersion.
@@janslavik5284 That is literally the equivalent of CBT but in HOI4.
Average masochism enjoyer
There's a mod on the workshop where you can play the game in real time
steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2007026732
Request license for Bf-109E - DENIED
Request license for Pak 40 - DENIED
Request license for Hurricane Mk.1 - DENIED
Request license for OQF 17- pounder - DENIED
Hungary is just sooo much fun to play.
Request license for KAR 98K denied
You have to reunite the Empire to make it fun.
ask afghanistan for musket license
@@anticommunistofdeutschland *DENIED*
Request license for Throwing Stones - DENIED
That "my fuhrer, steiner" downfall reference along with "scraping the barrel" was pretty gut 11/10.
Had to scroll down too far for this comment
I thought this whole video was mediocre until that happened. Instantly liked. Did not see it coming.
Germany: *doesn't start WWII*
The other "axis": How bout I do anyway?
Novus empirum romanum
True, if germany doesnt start it then its always italy
@@kaiserdude7648 only if you let Italy into your faction
Pretty sure Japan invaded China first anyway. But who cares about Asia.
@@MandalorV7 but japan isn't in the axis so it doesn't cause wwii
“Mein easy time.” Arg yes, a cult classic.
Available at all good book stores.
For 99 pfennig
@@SquireComedy I searched far and wide, but couldnt find it. Man people these days have no taste in books.
This was me yesterday I started WII in 1943
I'm glad I wasn't in that game.
How?
How did it went?
@@Pan-be3vv probably demolished the bots as Germany's late game is giga thicc
The lag from the number of countries and units that would exist, oh god
"Mein Easy Time"! Bloody brilliant, love the cover!
Hahaha!
@@SquireComedy
where can i order one? XD
It should be called "Meine schöne Zeit - Wohlstand dank Industrie".
(my good time, wealth thanks to industry)
The end of the phone call where Hitler said “Heil me” had me fucking dying.
Same. Dunno why. It makes perfect sense, but it was still comedic gold.
squire as hitler is weird but works, I can't un-see it now XD
Oh Christ.
Not *religion*.
@@SquireComedy *you* *can* *make* *a* *religion* *out* *of* *that*
**Neutral Countries:** "Ah so great we don't have to do anyth-"
*Invasion:*
**Neutral Countries:** "Wait isn't that illegal?"
Then there’s Japan who just fucking denies war decorations
"It had better be dynamite"
"My name is Dietrich Boenhoffer. Wish granted."
Best line: "Chamberlain? The Fuehrer. Yeah, that one."
Can’t wait to see you portray a HOI game where nobody attacks eachother for the entire game however still end up in a Cold War situation
Democratic Germany run then.
Democratic Germany is basically just a "skip WW2 and start the Cold War" playthrough with how much they love to antagonize the USSR.
"This meal must be absolutely dynamite"
Nice
Haha! Glad you picked up on that.
I'm guessing operation valkyre
@@SquireComedy The subtly makes your videos hilarious! Keep it up!
Best joke in the video
'Its british and boxy' litteraly a description of every british tank ever
*Laughs in Churchill gun carrier*
*laughs in fv4005*
I can't believe how selfish the Germans are, not starting a conflict that will cost millions of lives, the nerve!
YES, more HOI4 content. It's what we NEED. Awesome stuff as usual Squire!
Cheers mate!
Why is no one talking about the budget these guys got for uniforms OML!
*cough* Patreon
Herr H is wearing a cold war east german service uniform. It isn't only made 40 years too late but also as cheap as ≈15€ (≈18$) in local army shops.
But the other uniform is "way too" correct. For buying it in germany, you would get a visit from the federal bureau for the protection of the constitution.
@@Quert_Zuiopue Oh, I won't think of this fuckers. Gives me headache. During cold war, they hunted enemy Aliens. They had a purpose. Now, the feds abuse them to go after every one who doesn't hold a leftist opinion.
They'll have to make some 10 more videos on ww2 to justify the cost lol
@@AlexanderBogdanow since when is germany a leftist country lol
Me playing as UK without historical focuses and still getting ready for war with Germany
Germany: *_Z E D E M O C R A C Y_*
France: *_LE FASCIST BAGGUETE_*
lol
At least Luxembourg didn’t eat Germany like in my game
war with France it is then
Spain: Monarchy!
Time to reignite the spirit of the Hundred Years' War!
Squire is the only channel where I enjoy watching the sponsorship.
In this case I'm not entirely sure what I just watched.
Lol, this is actually what is it like to play without a historical focuses most of the times
Squire hitler: Peace in our time and all that
Chamberlain: its just a scrap of paper
2:37 "Three?! We're Germany, not Tannu Tuva!"
British Civilian waiting on the radio: ...
Radio: *ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss*
British Civilian waiting on the radio: ...
Germany:
Last time I was this early, CZcams policy was better with historical comedy
Comment with all the references you noticed:
2:10 Harry Landis as Mr. Morris from Friday Night Dinner impression
5:40 Führerbunker Hitler outrage scene from Downfall
Ooh, I'll do one! When Bill suggests the attack into Russia, he holds up a combination of 3 fingers. A little Inglorious Bastards reference.
"I'm not to be disturbed under any circumstances" when he says he is going to take a nap might be linked to the Horrible Histories skit.
Here's one: The character squire is playing is a reference to a dictator who took Power in Germany from 1933 to 1945 called adolf Hitler.
@@leonardofranzinribeiro4220 Never heard of him
THANKYOU I thought I recognised the dialogue from 2:10
I was actually playing a game with my brother, and this is similar to my situation. Britain went Monarchist and declared war on Italy, while I was Germany, it started in late 1942 I think.
Hitler: check out my book "mein easy time" That part had me on the floor lol
Squire’s so classy, he doesn’t even stretch the vid to 10 minutes.
U don't need 10 minutes it gof to 8
I love it, how he just casually get the use of his arm back in the close ups. 2:58
Just imagine if he decided "screw this, we are going full industry."
We would be working in a ore refinery on the moon right now.
5:48 I lost it at the downfall reference!
Loved that bunker reference, also this Nono German leader is far more peaceful then I remembered.
Excellent Downfall reference.
It was better done here than in Iron Sky.
Steiner is a lie!
“Heil me!”
That’s perfect! I’ve never thought of that before...
0:07 loved that! smiley face in place of the swastika! XD
Hahahah!
@@SquireComedy coulda went with an X or Iron Cross instead
Ah, excellent timing. I was just playing some HOI4 and required some strategic intelligence.
Ah, perfect. Need somebody to create a mod, that replaces Hitler's portrait with mine.
@@SquireComedy Indeed.
I couldn't agree more mein herr.
@@SquireComedy Done, just search for "Reich's Best Boss (Squire)" on the Steam workshop. I also added Bill as a level 3 field marshal and 2 new operatives (Cicero & Terry). Hope you like it :D
Alternate title: "when ww2 ended in 1941" but at least KMS Bismarck is alive... She's probably a happy girl
Yea
Actually this sounds like a good alternate universe
Bismarck is a he, but that sounds like an awesome story :)
@@atlas9852 Well from what I have researched, only two people, Admiral Liujins and Hitler, called Bismarck a he. I prefer to call Bismarck 'she'.
Well in Azur Lane its a she literally lmao
I've had a pretty memorable game where fascist France in the Axis started WW2 by declaring war on Canada, who had stayed with Britain. Then, I kid you not, literally the next day the Imperial Kwantung Territories joins the Axis after being declared on by the Soviet Union.
Hitler went from being at peace to abruptly fighting both the Allies and Comintern through no aggressive actions of his own. To say that escalated quickly is a huge understatement.
This is me almost every single game. I try to avoid going to war by befriending countries instead of invading, then Russia decides they want Poland, we go to war, I get within a couple hundred kilometers of Moscow, and then France decides to invade me. One time, we even ended up fighting the Russians together, and they still invaded me
I do the opposite, I immediately conquer the UK or the Dutch to get a port near the US then attack the US. I usually end up finishing off US by the end of 1937.
After that, with the superior navy, every other country is pretty much free grabs as France has not began rearmament, the Soviets are still purging, the Japanese are occupied with China, and Italy is Italy.
The best part about this is the fact that after I conquer everything, I can do oppose hitler and play as democratic Germany and form the eu (alternatively, play Kaiserreich and form the HRE which is more or less harder)
@@supremturtle4491 For some reason, I could never get naval invasions to work. They always just sit there for months after they're supposed to be shipping out
@@filmandfirearms “you’d always want to have them ready to launch when you completed justification/focus, execute the plan before declaring war and the invasion *should* go smoothly.
@@filmandfirearms Use naval bombers, there good in large numbers and can destroy ships cheaply
@@kyledavidgalan9908 That part I've certainly got down. Unfortunately, the Royal Navy just has so damn many ships
5:41 oh that Downfall reference
1:10
Haha, liked it! Most people tend to forget that the autobahn was pretty much useless at the time. And later when automobiles realy became a thing in germany, we had to rework around 70% of the roads because the things that the silly mustage guy did build where not suitable for the task.
The most serious documentary on 1940's Germany I've ever watch. Well done, chaps.
Hearts of iron number one unspoken rule: Germany ALWAYS has to start world war 2
The downfall reference with Steiner was very funny. Really liked it. Great video
Thanks mate!
Rimmy be like
"Wha, now hang on a minute."
Normally, I hate reaction videos, but seeing Rimmy react to "Mine Easy Time" would be hilarious!
Guys, save this before CZcams nukes it for Hate Speech or Racism.
That Rudolf Hess joke got me blitzing the Ardenne forest. 🤣
Ah, this is what happens when Speer is in charge
Icing on the cake would've been replacing the eagle with a carrier pigeon.
If we ever get to a million subs, I'm going to get a cast-golden carrier pigeon.
@@SquireComedy at least one taxidermied at 500k!
'Sir I have a meeting with Rudolf Hess'
"Oh, that can wait, not like he's going anywhere"
"They got bored"
I can't 😂😂😂
The Rudolph Hess “he’s not going anywhere” foreshadowing implies Hess still flew to Scotland. But this time it was simply because he could and not because of the war!
How these guys don't have 10x the amount of subs that they currently do astounds me.
Top tier content
"Mine Easy Time" that cracked me up
Me too, frankly.
Not gonna lie really want a "Reich's Best Boss" mug now.
for my coffee as I play HOI4 or Axis and Allies! Ah yeah thats a great idea!
Good day sir! Glory to the empire.
Greetings, Citizen.
4:07
me when I accidentally click on the wrong field marshal portrait in the assignment tab
Bill dressed as German: serves Herman Goring breakfast Germany: starves over night
0:35 that lunch is probably actual dynamite. Operation valkyrie vibes
"I have your lunch in the brief case right here"
"It better be dynamite"
I see what you did there
"I have a flying with Rudolf Hess" presumably not landing lessons...
It was very foggy out! Poor Rudolf.
Never clicked on a notification faster in my life.
Same here I think.
Considering the subject matter, I'd be careful. You'll end up on a list!
Haha yeah maybe, but Regardless your videos are absolutely golden.
@@SquireComedy the legend himself replied.. I love life!!
The king has spoken lol.
Best part without doubt was the 'Heil Me' ending to the von Rundstedt phone call
1:40 A good reminder that, despite being friendly, you're still talking to Hitler.
Hearts of Iron IV: When Czechoslovakia Fights Back
"Draw a frontline thingy and stay as long as he can. Heil me!" (slams phone down)
Bravo, you made me spill my tea, you old badger, you!
1:20 teacher when I need help
1:26 teacher when another teacher walks in
I would love this alternate reality, filled with the jokes of 2 british dudes and some editing software
That missing right hand spontaneously popping up in the periphery is absolute gold!
I like how hitler was all "oh nooooo the allies are going to liberate germany and preserve all my factories, that suuuucks."
This is the absolute perfect video, all the sneaked references, the game accuracy, the jokes are all fire. Nice job mate
I love the downfall reference with Steiner, I’ve been watching your content for 4 years now, it’s good seeing how your budget has increased over time.
CZcams’s algorithm is going to have a field day... unfortunately mind you!
It's still up!
@@SquireComedy has CZcams finally gotten a sense of humor?!
“The coldest winter in spanish record” lmao
The Downfall reference was perfectly placed
You know, this is actually what i do in any Hearts of Iron Game. Never really declares war on anyone and instead build up the industry and infrastructure in whatever nation i play as. It makes for a different game experience really.
"What do you mean, war? We do not even have 100 factories and our research tree is only half finished."
1:35 I knew it! The question was about the question was about testicles.
I feel way too proud for thinking that some question was going to be about balls. And getting the guess right, too.
I loved the downfall reference at 5:56
If Goering gets a lunch then it has to be three big suitcases of food instead of one lmfao
These videos are coming suspiciously fast.
Squire upload nerf when?
Never! I have seized the means of production!
It’s like the wardrobe gets a new researched technology every video.
I like that classic "Downfall" reference at 5:48
Edit: typo
First, also they always have good outfits
I wear this tasty number out all the time. Get a few odd looks.
@@SquireComedy
where do you even find these old Gerry uniforms? i wouldn't expect those would be easy to find!
There are businesses which make uniforms for reenactors. Everything from Roman legionaries to The War of Northern Aggression, to WW2. Just do a Google search.
@@WarriorPoet01 ima get myself one
@@WarriorPoet01 Interesting you should mention Roman Legionaries...
0:08 who else wants such a mug?
I tried doing a "peaceful Hitler" run once to see how much I could annex. You can actually get a sizable portion. You can get...
Austria (of course)
Danzig (Trade Slovakia for it)
Bohemia/Western Czechoslovakia
All of Hungary and Romania (integrate war economies or w/e it's called) then annex them after they lose autonomy.
Yugoslavia (either annex all or puppet and reduce autonomy, but this one is super-RNG heavy and they often refuse)
West Poland (Let the USSR go to war with Poland and give it to you)
You may be wondering why do Danzig for Slovakia when you have Molotov Ribbentrop pact, well if you don't all the Allies will land in Poland and the USSR won't be able to defeat Poland. With Danzig under your control they can't do that.
Nice Downfall reference with Steiner there!!
Last time I was this early, Adolf hadn't attended art school yet.