Ive loved him through sooo many chances:( if i keep going back im afraid their wont be any of me left to help him in the end. I dont think their is enough focus on the wreckage addiction leaves behind for the other person. It seems to be all about helping the addict. Love yourself enough to leave while you still have you.
@@rockstarofredondoI truly hope that no one in your life has an addiction, that is one of the least empathetic thing if seen since I started my recovery. Like if your partner lost their legs, or ability to speak and because it hurts you, you you shame them by saying poor poor you, you lost your legs
'Just leave then' is never good advice to give someone who is partnered with an addict. It's likely they will end up with another addict due to their family patterns/history and that could be even worse! Also it could be a bonding experience in the end if that partner is ready to heal
Learn about epigenetics and learn it is not in the DNA. We are not born Victims. It is our environment that causes the addiction. Unmet needs, unhealed hurts and unresolved issues. Yes the addict must be willing to want to change.
So it's likely that if someone is in recovery mode for 30 years, they may just be on that recovery path mode for 30 more years, if they don't leave their body first. I don't understand.
I'll have to let you know. 10 years clean and dealing with addicted spouse. My sobriety comes first. I also have a tremendous support system and an active recovery program. Self care is essential for sure.
John Martinez god is always with you. Praying to god In only times of difficulty just shows you never had faith in him to begin with and you’re just using him. God isn’t some fairy that grants whatever you please whenever you pray. Things sometimes will get worse but god will give you the strength to persevere. Continue to have faith in the almighty. You will understand why in the end.
Amazing advice. It's tough, but with Christ Jesus you can do the impossible.
Amen
Ive loved him through sooo many chances:( if i keep going back im afraid their wont be any of me left to help him in the end. I dont think their is enough focus on the wreckage addiction leaves behind for the other person. It seems to be all about helping the addict. Love yourself enough to leave while you still have you.
Did your partner go through a residential recovery program for 30, 60 or 90 days?
Exactly. The people damaged by the addict are always forgotten and overlooked. Way too much focus on the poor poor addict.
@@rockstarofredondoI truly hope that no one in your life has an addiction, that is one of the least empathetic thing if seen since I started my recovery. Like if your partner lost their legs, or ability to speak and because it hurts you, you you shame them by saying poor poor you, you lost your legs
I want to understand addiction and help my loved ones
'Just leave then' is never good advice to give someone who is partnered with an addict. It's likely they will end up with another addict due to their family patterns/history and that could be even worse! Also it could be a bonding experience in the end if that partner is ready to heal
Learn about epigenetics and learn it is not in the DNA. We are not born Victims. It is our environment that causes the addiction. Unmet needs, unhealed hurts and unresolved issues. Yes the addict must be willing to want to change.
if ted danson and gary bucey (im sure i butchered both sorry) had a baby. this man would be that baby. lol
LMAO I cant stop! 😆😆😆 that is too funny.. 😂
So true Lmao
His first wife did this so where is she now?
what about when they are a monster wasting all of your money and treating you like garbage?
@Jima berrma thank you so much
The person is willing to get better…
So his first wife goes thru all the hell to get him clean then they get a divorce 🤔
I love this book
What if they steal your money, your jewels, ... your life???? Because that's what addicts do!
He starts the book by addressing definite reasons to leave and if you even should stay. Then if you still choose to stay. Here are ways you can help
Dont judge.mabey even take a look at yourself,just like recovering addict's do.
So it's likely that if someone is in recovery mode for 30 years, they may just be on that recovery path mode for 30 more years, if they don't leave their body first.
I don't understand.
I want to stay and continue to support but I can't pay bills by myself so not quite sure what to do about the financial aspect of the situation
Hmmm
I’m not sure if that’s good advice for co-addicts of the addicted.
I'll have to let you know. 10 years clean and dealing with addicted spouse. My sobriety comes first. I also have a tremendous support system and an active recovery program. Self care is essential for sure.
John McElroy thank you for sharing that.
I tried it just didn’t work
You did nothing wrong. Save yourself, love yourself, put yourself first.
I've lost my faith in God
I feel the same ,I pray and pray ..things are getting worse..
John Martinez god is always with you. Praying to god In only times of difficulty just shows you never had faith in him to begin with and you’re just using him. God isn’t some fairy that grants whatever you please whenever you pray. Things sometimes will get worse but god will give you the strength to persevere. Continue to have faith in the almighty. You will understand why in the end.
God loves you. He holds you! He has you! It all serves a purpose?