6 Behaviors That Scare Men Off | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
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- čas přidán 7. 06. 2024
- Mat Boggs shares dating advice for women and 6 behaviors that might scare your man away
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As a sought-after dating and relationship coach for women and international speaker, Mat Boggs has helped thousands of women understand men, improve their relationships, and attract the relationship they want.
As the best-selling author of Project Everlasting, and creator of Cracking The Man Code, Mat Boggs? dating and relationship advice has been featured on national media including The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, Oprah and Friends, and many more.
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Written By: Mathew Boggs
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What scares me away is someone who says they'll do something and doesn't follow through. It tells me I can't trust them.
Yeah, esp when you make plans and they cancel last minute. I hate that!
I dated a guy who was wonderful in every way but he didn't showed up like 4 times or came like 40 minutes to 1 hour late. He told me that he should help me with this or that but never did. I gave him 4 months and after that I stopped dating him. I broke my trust.
He broke my trust.
Edelle Nicholson I was like that ,I never follow through when I said I will call at certain time and I was always too late to get to him ,but I actually liked him a lot but I am just not a phone call person and I am bit bad with time management ..
I think that put him off or made him more insecure more than he was and he lost interest.
He end up saying he wanted to be with me but not wanting a commitment so I let go off him was too late the damage was done to be trying to fix it .
I’m a grown ass woman and I accept my mistakes and I promise not to make the same once again
Edelle Nicholson so true
What scares me away is a guy who starts calling me “baby” after one conversation.
Amy Wall 😂😂😂
Gross !
Agree
Baby 👀
I don't like being called honey, sweetie, baby, doll, etc. At nearly 60 I don't think I should change!
I told my fiance that i wanted a serious relationship on our first date 😆 and that’s actually what made him deleted his dating app as he said, he admires the fact that i know what i want and he appreciates my honesty.
7 months later he proposed to me with a simple diamond ring that is means a lot to me. Just be yourself, and let man see that
THAT is totally sweet! I admire your candor. He must have known what he wanted too! I wasn’t even looking for a relationship then I met a man I became interested in. I am beginning to like him more and more and want a relationship! 😉☺️🥳
I'm confused why this isn't the top rated comment.
Man my dream is to be married and my past exes knew about it, never proposed to me and my last ex used it against me.
This is me in every starting relationship hahaha. It’s keeps the right one around surely 😂
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
The "emasculating behavior" point hit me hard. I am definitely one to just want things done the "right" and "most effective" way, and since my husband is such a sweetheart, I never really considered how he may feel when I do this. From now on, I'll just thank him...and redo it when he goes to work lmao.
That's not true for me. It feels bad when someone says there is a better way of doing something but at the same time it's better because that's the only way to improve.
There is a way to tell things without making others hate you
Never knew that "innocent advice" was emasculating 😱 thank you
The same here, can agree 💯
Sure, dont royally insult the guy, but i dont get this...us women just have to play dumb and sit on the couch so he can think he is some kind of bad ass... Meanwhile we dont get to play to any of our strengths? What we spose to do just sit on the couch, and pretend to be happy having no life, and no ability to be hands on and use our brains? Why so we can just sit there and get fat?
Are men really that fragile that they cant even behold a competent woman without feeling inferior. That sound like some pussy shit.
Now i am not into emasculating men...i believe strongly against it, but i am also not into emasculating myself either. Wtf?
If a man cant handle my masculine energy then he needs to fuck off...my opinion.
At the same time, i want them to feel self empowered....just not at the expense of my own self empowerment.
Cant they feel self empowered without me having to pretend im something that im not? Im not Totally incompetent and totally witless...why should i pretend to be and actually royally devalue myself in the process? And if they cant love me for being who i am and i have to pretend who i am, what the point of even having any kind of relationship?
On second thought, maybe just focusing on your own projects and applying your own expertise and emersing yourself in your own energy within projects, is enough. while you can still just admire him in whatever project he chooses to involve and invest himself in, and also allow him the space to mess it up so he can learn how to do it him self and feel accomplished, and you still admire him and his ability to problem solve that when he didnt know how, he found a way
Sometimes they come up with different ways of doing things, that i had never thought of before, and that were brilliant, because they had the room they needed to solve their problem in their own way.
This is great. I like this more.
And honestly, if they really dont know, most of the time they'll eventually ask. Lol
Feeling thankful🙏
What pushes me away is when they don’t fully express themselves and you have to either wait or guess how they actually feel.
Yes...true... very irritating part who is not expressing himself
Same, especially when I find out that I did something they don’t like and I had no idea
I conqure with you
Agreed!
The problem is that you’re maybe attracted to emotionally avoidant men (because of anxiety). These character types tend to upset one because they don’t respond and they aren’t upfront. You keep thinking ‘he/she was so nice on the date, so why aren’t they communicating’ and it drives you nuts until you sigh and let go. And then you feel a bit alone again.
Instead of getting angry about the people we meet, we should think about setting ourselves up for success.
If we attract the wrong people, we need to think how we change our game so that it works in our favor.
It helps if you ask 1. What kind of man do you want and 2. How do you attract him
3. How do you become that high value person who attracts the best of men while still being yourself (or the best version of yourself)
1. Playing games
2. Being too aloof
3. Treating him as if he was perfect
4. The attitude of entitlement
5. Emasculating behaviors
6. Instant relationship
Thank you
Thank you for saving me (us) so much time!
It puts me off when having sex with me is his #1 always first most important thing he wants from me. I am more then a great body. I am soooooo much more then a sexual body. I have my mental body my emotional body my spiritual body. Sex is great!!! Sex with all bodies connectioned together well that's intimacy. Its beautiful to be one in this way.
Thanks
Hi, get anyone to love or (SP) attracted to you. And Alo get your Ex back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Wilson,he helped me restore my 5 years relationship. Also Dr Wilson Always keep with his words, I will advise you to seek his help thanks
Only talking about himself and not asking me questions about me. Even when I interject something about me and he instantly turns it back to him .
Run 😂🏃♀️
Yes, totally agrees
Classic narcissist behavior
THIS
It's unfear though
What scares/pushes me away..
1. Comming on too strong. Or being controlling.
2. Pushing for sex when I've said no, or set my boundaries early.
3. Lying
4. Dating other women at the same time ( we ALWAYS find out)
5. Hiding phone
6. Being wishy washy. Not planning dates and always making me go to you.
7. Having too much feminine energy.
You sound controlling. A big red flag for men.
As a woman I agree!
@@michelleGarcia-sk9np me too
As a woman, I too agree with this!
Shouldn't have encouraged the raising of so many beta males. Too late and too bad.
Things that scare me away:
1) Narcissist behaviour
2) Motivated by materialistic goals
3) Lack of initiative and does not keep promises
4) Not truly in love with me but in the idea of being in love
5) No respect for my boundaries
What does it mean to be in love with the idea of being in love and how can I spot that in a guy? Thank you
@@jacqueline8742There's this guy that I interacted with online via a social interactive game. Talked to him as a friend and then not long after he claims that 'he likes me and wants me to be his gf' without actually meeting me in person yet... seemed like he was desperate to be in love?
Yes, Pei Pei Lee. On point 👍🏼
I had all of those people pie in my narc ex husband.
Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty I am free at last!!!
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
When his words don't match his actions.
True. Short and sweet. I'm so long winded in my post. LOL
Hello! I let a guy go for this exact reason a few weeks ago 🙋🏻♀️
Right, because actions speak louder than words.
2 thumbs up!
BINGO!!
He needs to fight for me. When things get hard & you are having a conversation about a difficult topic, don't give up or wimp out. Hang in there & put in a heroic effort! This tells me I'm worth it. Giving up too soon is a big disappointment & turnoff.
Not trying at all is even worse. My ex did this. He f***ed up and hurt me, and when we needed to sort that thing out he just let go of us like it was the only thing he could do.
yuuuup
@BagznBirdz that exactly what my ex has always done! I still love him so much it hurts! But not much else tells me more that I don’t matter than that!
You seem narcissistic. Probably not worth fighting for.
Hi, get anyone to love or (SP) attracted to you. And Alo get your Ex back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Wilson,he helped me restore my 5 years relationship. Also Dr Wilson Always keep with his words, I will advise you to seek his help thanks
Inconsistencies.. When his words don't match with his actions.. I slowly pull away.
When a man becomes cold or silent after a dispute is one thing that will push me away. I prefer instead when a disagreement occurs that he lets me know what bothers him and if he needs time and space I can do that for him. 😌
Kiara White I also think that if a man becomes silent or cold after a dispute that is a red flag 🚩 that this is how they will behave or worse later on in a more committed relationship.
That’s the crazy thing we are in a committed relationship.
Happy update lol 😂 We doing better with communication than the last time 💙🥰
Most men wont share their feelings and thats my biggest turn off if you cant tell me how you are feeling when you are feeling it dont even think about it
@@jvstkiki yay!
I love it when my date compliments me. Any compliment is great, as long as it's sincere.
I also appreciate when there is no pressure to do things together when I am very busy. I like my personal time and need to feel my boundaries are not only respected, but also appreciated and understood.
Thanks matt for these respectful and helpful videos. 👍🤗
Hi, get anyone to love or (SP) attracted to you. And Alo get your Ex back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Wilson,he helped me restore my 5 years relationship. Also Dr Wilson Always keep with his words, I will advise you to seek his help thanks
+2347063620887⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of breakup-.,
After the narc I dated & befriended, he put me in the friendzone & said his health ( had numerous health issues besides Ptsd from the war) wouldn't allow him to be in a relationship ( cause he knew I wanted to be with him on a romantic level) then I saw he was already in one either someone who I researched ,then that broke off & then had passing fling after the broke up one, kept me on the back burner breadcrumbing, til he had a fallout anger issue on me , long story who then blocked, ghosted & discarded. Then met a few months later online, a tall blone ( who was few " shorter than him ( he was 5'11") who ended up moving in with him after 2 months of dating & says on his FB page is the fiancé, showed a pic of her & another of them together, with her sitting on his Harley chopper, saying this lady won his heart. Go figure . They're in the dopamine , seratonin stage. If she only knew he's still on 5 dating sites, same as mine. Karma's going to get him (both) when the shit hits the fan.. Can't wait to see when that happens. Lol..
Thank you for sharing this video 🎉
what scares me away: being called beautiful constantly before they've ever met me in person.
Love bombing (correct me if I'm wrong) exists and 💯 right lol.
What pushes me away
1.) Lack of communication and/or unclear communication
2.) Being cool with doing EVERYTHING I suggest. Nobody wants a yes man
3.) Not being assertive
4.) Uncompromising
5.) Very sexual way too early
6.) This is really For me because alot of women don't mind. Announcing how many cars you have or where you shop at, to show that you have money. It's a major turnoff for me. This makes me immediately uninterested.
Not just you, totally agree with your last one. Show me that you are stable and can pay your bills, not that you spend money you could easily save.
Megan Lindsey You’re a beautiful woman. Idk how you can get past #5 and #6 because for one most men are sexual by nature. And, they can’t seem to help themselves with women they are highly attracted to. Sucks sometimes but yeah. I used to get so frustrated about this as well until I learn to used this to my advantage. It’s the promise of it tht keeps things interesting. #6 most men would over compensate to get with a woman they perceived to be out of their league by talkin about this ish they got
Another silly one. Yet, it happens 🤷🏽♀️😊
I’m totally with you!
Announcing how many cars you have🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@GoingGreenMom I know right?
A good way to scare off a lot of men: say that you don’t want sex until marriage. Works too well 🙃
BOY I KNOW VERY WELL.
A christian girl here 🙋♀️yay!
Saying no to sex in general should be used sparingly. If a man is giving up his sexual freedom for a monogamous relationship, particularly a high-class male who doesn't have any trouble finding women, saying no to him may boost your ego, but if you are just giving into laziness, then it is a very foolish thing to do.
Sex is a really big deal to men. Every time you say no, and it isn't obvious why, you are seriously damaging your relationship, and your sex life, as much as you may want to think that shouldn't be the case.
@Felix Bruyns It isn't "slimy" for men to want sex, that is perfectly natural. It is slimy for women to supress/lie about their natural desire for sex, in order to manipulate men by withholding sex.
And women can still keep their catholic virginity vows, as well as keeping their men sexually happy.
And just so you know, your attempt to virtue signal there, came across as "slimy" to most mature, intelligent women. I really do respect women, and they are not fooled by that at all.
@@TheToledoTrumpton what if the reason for not wanting sex right away is because I want to make sure that the relationship is not just because sex is great? Im a sexual and passionate woman but Im looking for something deeper than just sexual compatibility that I am willing to control my sexual desires to make sure there is mental, emotional and even spiritual (not about religion) chemistry first.
Being aloof and distant (without proper communication) is a huge turn off for me. If he's busy with work or if he needs alone time to deal with something and he lets me know that, I totally get it and I give him space while going about my own life. If he's not responsive and he's cold and doesn't communicate why, it literally drains the desire and affection from me. Makes me feel like he's not into me, or that the relationship is not going anywhere, and usually when he's like that, I start pulling back. I start putting up walls in preparation for a break up or something.
This...I feel the same way. I'll quickly build a fortress to anticipate getting brokenhearted.
As you mentioned near the end...definitely when the commitment moves faster than the connection. And another point you made: Feeling chosen....that is also important for women.
What scares me away? Not keeping his word.
I just when to that I hate when man doesn't keep his word
Shizam!!!!
Red flag
Yeahh i have the same fear
I came here *to learn how to scare off men*
This is a good one! Yeah, I've also been needeing those tricks a lot. Even straight "fuck off" want sometimes work" because the answer is "nice, I really like challanges!".
😂😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣
Lol 😂 I actually started applauding tht. 😂😂
These are 100% true! I've seen what happens when people do this stuff in their relationships around me. Very destructive. Great video, thanks for sharing!
1. Playing games 0:34
2. Being too aloof 1:38
3. Treating him as if he is perfect 2:26
4. The attitude of entitlement 3:36
5. Emasculating behaviour 5:47
6. Instant relationship 8:53
I hate when men ghost me, or when they make me feel like I am the one while instead they’re dating other girls 🤦🏾♀️
Make them chase you...don't be so available. He can't ghost you...because he's too busy chasing you.
@@CrystalDatingCoach don't play games. Just move on
@@Tailionis Yes. Use Strategies to make him/her like you more...Not to make someone like you.
@Vick F woman want to be Pursued.
@Vick F try to find out if there's a reason for that... maybe sth about your lifestyle doesn't sit well with them... ??
Scares women away: inconsistency, neediness, inability to respect your principles and views in life, rudeness
YES!!!
On point! And may I add the inability to respect... your basic needs..
And not respecting boundaries.
Definitely
Hi, get anyone to love or (SP) attracted to you. And Alo get your Ex back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Wilson,he helped me restore my 5 years relationship. Also Dr Wilson Always keep with his words, I will advise you to seek his help thanks
Love what you said. Being grateful, showing gratitude, and humility--thinking of others before you think of yourself. Awesome.
These videos are so well made, I love how they are right to the point and do explain in an authentic way, many others feel like kinda manipulative like you talk about in relationships, haha! What really puts me off, is often mirrored in the things you talk about in women. Being too eager in the beginning, touching too much too early, wanting to be close to me before they even know me, constantly wanting an ego boost without giving anything back, taking what a women can give for granted, wanting to hang out at home too much in the beginning (where i often have to play "host"), talking money and politics in the beginning, showing off, lack in ambition (about themselves, not about success), intolerance and lack of understanding about differences in people.
Things that scare me away? He is always right about everything, and my opinion is always wrong.
Him always being right in his opinion and you always being wrong - that's a narcissist run the other way.
Totally agree.
@@zechariah4663 yes I finally figured that my ex husband is one. The behaviours I mentioned are mostly all from him
Kristin,
I am so sorry. I was married to one and it took me 16 years to realize it. The healing from that kind of abuse is tough but not impossible. Hold your head up. There are some great CZcams videos that address narcissism. Matt has an excellent one as well as Mark Rosenberg. If you search the subject narcissistic abuse or warning signs of dating a narcissist - you'll get some really good information. Praying for you.
The same reason my relationship ended two months ago. 🙄🙄
If everyone would just drop their egos life would be much easier 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
But in a way for us ladies, our egos can protect us. I think we must do things to keep growing and stay safe.
@@maidenmarian1 egos do not protect ego is fear based fear of rejection fear of upsetting egos keep us stuck! Egos are fragile they hinder growth! You protect yourself by knowing yourself inside out and being able to adult and make wise decision even if they hurt or feel uncomfortable by communicating exactly what you want exactly how you feel by showing your vulnerabilities! Egos need to be dropped they are nothing but fear based masks to hide who what and our true feelings xxx
@@CosmicHazeTarot1111 Interesting Ideas. Happy New Year!! I will consider your thoughts!! Merry Christmas past and Happiest of New years to you and everyone here!!!
Haha can't drop the ego nun its the first thing that forms us in our youth we would drop our morals (sense if right and wrong) before we dropped our who's (the thing that tells us what we want and what may make us happy this moment) but u probably weren't talking about the ID lol sorry
@@neomehollow1391 You mean the Super Ego. I don't thing this is what she meant.
Something that scares me away is almost like the emasculating rule but the opposite. I'm trying to work on something, even something as trivial as a puzzle and he leans over and starts giving me answers. I get annoyed and say, "I appreciate you trying to help me but I like to figure this out by myself." If I ask for help then it's fine but I'm persistent and like to try until I succeed. When someone steps in it makes me feel like they don't think I'm capable. As a women I will admit sometimes I like to feel rescued, like when I can't open something. Another thing that puts me off is a man who never plans our time out. I had been in a relationship where he would suggest we go out, but then leave all the planning to me. I appreciated this sometimes, but a lot of the time I wanted it to be a collaboration and I wanted his opinion about things. I don't want to have the pressure and responsibility of choosing all of our outings.
Lol, I had a guy pull me into the instant relationship. From the vet first date, he kept saying “I made you my girlfriend.” “You’re mine.” He even told me once, “You’re my soulmate. You just don’t know it yet.” And yet, he’s the one that ghosted me as punishment for setting a boundary he couldn’t accept. I haven’t heard from him in 2 weeks. And I’m moving on.
A similar thing has happened to me
Sounds like a love bomber player! They show their intentions and usually it’s a red flag and then
Ghosting is Gods protection. Def dodged a bullet
Consistency and communication are what I need. Someone who makes me feel safe. If someone doesn't ask if I got home ok when it was storming I tend to think they don't care.
hey dear, you’re so cute and I would love to be friends with you. Can you text me on WhatsApp for us to get to know each other.
+18154104037
Thats true all you have to do is wait one day the right one will come soon
Definitely
True
"All men are children, if a woman understands this, she understands everything." - Coco Chanel
I'm a big kid too🙃🙃🙃 I really love the child side of men.
I find it refreshing
yes they are. they are immature af no matter how old they are.
So true
We are all children. There's a difference between being children (playful) and being childish. The vulnerability of being childlike is not the same as immaturity. Don't perceive Coco meant immaturity because if you know anything about men, you know a man needs to be respected. Coco knew men have to be treated gently, and respectfully as you would nurture a child. That's when you have a real emotionally intimate relationship with a man. Leave your narcissistic misandrist tendencies at the door ladies, your making your lives to difficult.
Behaviors that push me away are inconsistent communication, being too clingy/needy, talk and behavior not lining up and most importantly - talking negatively about their ex. If all of your exes are the problem and you don't own culpability in failed relationships then that tells me one thing - you can't grow as a partner and could potentially be a narcissist.
❤
I LOVE THIS CHANNEL!!!! I support your mission totally! You have no idea the high value information you give me. I listen to you with both eyes wide open as I’m learning and growing. I never had a good example on how to treat man (in South America with all the femininity revolution men are being mistreated so badly...). Thank you so much for your teachings.
It's happening in North America too! The feminists have emasculated half our population, and instead of standing up to it, men have stopped acting like men.
What scares me away? Poor communication, playing games, possessive/controlling, stashing, ghosting which is a kind of game playing.
Victoria Sutherland I agree with you, no matter how busy a person, both should find ways to communicate. Specially if long distance relationship 😔
Victoria Sutherland I agree with you, no matter how busy a person, both should find ways to communicate. Specially if long distance relationship 😔
@@krizziefernando5937 I don't believe in Long Distance relationships. It's hard enough with work and housekeeping and friends to date local. But many men seem to think that we either have nothing but time for them or that we should be grateful for any time they wish to spend with us. Games instead of communication.
Ghosting with no arguments or discussions before,.like I love you today, tomorrow you are nothing, wth.and than when the guy says you pushed him away and says its your fault for him being heartless and you dont know how to play the game! There was no game and I dont know how he went from good to heartless games ..like a slap in the face when you didn't see anyone in front of you..happens quick unexpected and you go into shock mode and I blame myself but it's him, he doesnt communicate, if he doesnt want to be back together with me, then tell me, dont see my messages daily and than radio silence..I guess leaving him alone and maintaining my value, maybe he will talk to me and maybe he won't, he's done this before but hasn't changed, it's a self centered manipulative game, and I'm around when it's convenient for him.Im his fall back girl when things dont work out with someone he left me for, he conveniently gets into a relationship or something with coworkers, or women who work security at his work, its convenient, he get time ,conversation, rides, laughs, attraction and fun with women at work he sees more than me, and than goes and pulls the grass is greener, comparing me, and than he thinks he's got someone better than me, and than gets used, hurt, cheated on...Karma...he hurt me and he got hurt too
@@alisonwingler2113 If he's using you block him. Move on. But if the way you wrote the reply to my comment is how you communicate with him.... well, slow down. Organize your thoughts and try to talk to him rather than spew. But really the best way to shut down someone who uses silence as a dating ploy just needs to be ignored. He will either figure it out or move on. Either way you are better off.
On a 1st date, this guy tells me that he is so good in bed, former lovers stalk him. Total turn off !! I made sure there was NO 2nd date.
Very smart girl. What a sad guy. So unaware of how creepy he sounds. It even makes him sound scary. He is really focused!
Ewww! 🙀🤢🤢🤮
If it was me, l would climb out of the window
He is insecure. People who are good in bed dont have to tell anyone they are. It will eventually be proven with performance, actions, not words. I pity him.
I agree, if he is actually good in bed ,he doesn’t need to say it. Those guys are usually bad and if they need to voice that, it mean that they are insecure and if your bed xperience is bad with him, he can blame it on you
For me, I don’t like feeling like I have to compete with other women for them. If I know they’re seeing and sleeping with other women while they’re seeing me, it makes me instantly want to run away. Because if they really liked me, they’d put in the same effort and wouldn’t be with other women.
💯% You're not second best! No woman should ever be! Edit: I wish all women knew their worth.
Only players make a woman feel that way. True love doesn't create such space
Exactly
Leaving a relationship you’re not happy in is much easier than emotionally damaging someone. But selfish people don’t get that
Yes but the problem is how do we catch a cheating partner
When a man is stingy, no matter how attractive his other qualities, I loose interest.
👌👌👌👌👌 me too
Naghmeh Salek tight ass is 🤢 unless they have an extremely bad financial situation then it’s different
Exactly👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽
Same here😂😂
Agreed
Some behaviors for men which push women away:
• Cursing
• Acting different when in front of their friends
• Asking for intimacy or intimate photos in the early stages of relationship (not letting it flow naturally)
• Judging you/your actions
• Jealousy (for some women)
• Overprotective
• One sided thinking, doesn’t consider your feelings, not compromising
Speak for yourself and your circle of friends on the cursing. I can out-cuss my current boyfriend easily, him saying a few choice words just makes me join in ironically or more often ask what's wrong with no judgement at all. The rest is spot on though.
This is narcissistic qualities, pretty much text book
Abigail Patridge There are classy people as well, just to let you know.
Wow this list surprises me. I consider these, except cursing, the basic expected standard.
i agree with everything exept the cursing
This video by Mat Boggs is so insightful and helpful! It's true that some behaviors can scare men off, and it's important to be aware of them if we want to attract and keep a healthy relationship. I appreciate how Mat explains the reasons behind these behaviors and provides practical tips on how to avoid them. It's not about changing who we are, but rather about becoming more self-aware and developing healthier patterns in our dating life. Thank you for sharing this valuable advice!
I LOVE complimenting my sweetie. Even when he is having a crappy day I make him calm by simply saying “ be easy honey, all is in order” or “you’re so handsome when you are angry, what can I do to make you ugly?”... this always makes him smile.. all while speaking softly and gently touching his arm or face. It’s amazing how quickly he calms down.and begins to laugh.
In my view, what scares women away from is his uncertainty in relationship and losing temper with you right away when something happens.
women feel like they need to test a mans anger and this is abusive and unproductive manipulation.
Guilty of #5. I’ve been so independent and always doing everything on my own. It’s weird to have someone do things for me because most of my life I’ve done everything on my own 😂🤷🏻♀️
That is me
That is me too!
I can do things on my own but if I can get a man do it then I let him.
I appreciate your awareness about that. Most men WANT to do stuff for you ladies. If he gets the feeling that he's never doing it right or good enough though, he will simply give up trying.
@@jeradblazek677 Agree! If he can't make you happy by doing the man things to make you smile, or he is made to feel he's not doing it well enough, he's gone! He wants to feel like a man as much as woman want to feel like a woman. It's pretty basic man/woman dynamics. American woman have been brainwashed to do it all, kids, work, hubby's needs, 'go-for', and they take up the man's 'space' in the relationship. The men get complacent, life gets boring for him and stressful for her. Other cultures get this and still know how to make a man's 'space' without giving up their own ID and 'power'. Matt is great at showing how to do this!
I’m so glad I came across this video. I’m struggling and tip #6 have gave me my answers!!!! Thank you so much ❤️ definitely going to be watching your videos!!
Complete honesty. Being vague about or lying about whether you are truly single... deal-breaker. Be sure you are free before you start a new relationship.
Touching me when I've never indicated that I was interested.
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
1) Vanishing
2) Ignoring texts or calls
3) “Jokes” at my or other peoples expense
I have a ghoster
Rid of him
Yea, that's shitty behavior either way it's going.
Probably the most helpful video I’ve seen on this subject, thanks !
Love this clear explanation about connection and commitment.
When a man gets too relaxed in the relationship it scares me off. Meaning, he takes you out for a while and then it’s let’s stay home. Then staying home becomes the pattern.
Melladee Crisler - "A new broom sweeps well" 😒
Right! But covid is changing this
@@jujuvtx true but one could still put in effort. Such as nature dates.
I am fine with going home. But if it is just "netflix & chill" F that fakery.
Omg yes!!! I hate this so much.
When a guy is really into you, takes you for dinner, precious constant talks and texts, but at the same time makes himself unavailable and mysterious.
The unavailability and being mysterious didn't know it meant that a guy is into a lady.... Very interesting. Thanks for pointing that out😊
Idk some women will see you as clingy or desperate if you give too much
Fuckboi
I am guilty of this behavior. And I regret it for showing so much interest. He has reservations towards you for some reason. I just couldn't bring myself to trust the woman in my case.
I've always known women to like mystery in a man because otherwise they feel the relationship is stale and predictable.
Your comment confuses me. Well done.
Your advice is much better than many here on CZcams. Keep it up!!!
I totally agree with being careful not to use “ immasculating behavior towards a man, you don’t want to make him feel inferior. I also think Everyone is sensitive to even subtle criticism and your partner should be encouraging you as well during these times.
My husband said to me "Honey let me slay the dragon!" It was so perfect for me to understand what he was saying.
I almost forgot ! "BAD HYGIENE". Dude it's not attractive when you forgot to brush your theeth or cuting your dirty nails before a date 🤢.
Just coming to see me from home without smelling fresh puts me off 🤮
Girls do that too. I never call those girls back.
M’y ex would never shower and you can smell him from miles.ohh, l hate men who disguise themselves as someone else in order to please and slowly go back to their true self as the relationship progress. I thought l was dating a clean man until one day l went over to get my books from his apt after not seeing him for one month and he smells a mixte of onion and hair grease
😂😂
I went out on a date with a guy who looked like he slept in his clothes. I lasted long enough to order a meal, told him I had to leave and I paid for the meal and left.
He rang me again. Must have needed a free dinner or to borrow an iron 🤔🤣
Thanks for the advice.
Thank you for the great information.
Things men do that scare me away
-wanting to get too physical way too soon
-showing too much aggression
-making me feel rushed to come to his house too soon
Yes I have been there. They never saw me or heard from me again.
Bringing the topic of sex up right away. It's like they want reassurance that they will get laid before putting any kind of effort. It's kind of juvenile and I immediately dismiss a guy who does that. I mean, duh, we will eventually get there, what's the rush! It's very discouraging.
Exactly!!!!! Ultimate turn off. Bucket any guy who does it they just want sex. A man who really likes you won’t bring up sex before getting to know you.
If you really want to be (his) woman of high standards don't ever 'get there' unless you have a ring and wedding plans. Even then it's best to wait until the honeymoon night because going to bed with him before that takes away his motivation to get married to begin with, and you 'tarnish' your own self worth, even in your own heart. The wedding night is nothing special to him either, if you've already had sex. Men want their wedding nights to be special too, so you both get robbed of that special bonding meant for your wedding night. When you have sex with a man, he stops pursuing you in an emotional way that will grow the relationship, because he already has the shallow thing he's wanted. It stunts the growth of the emotional aspect of the relationship with a man. If you wait, it is incredibly wonderful to see how our relationship develops without giving up your power! If sex is the only thing he wants and he leaves because you're not having sex with him, let him go!!! Our culture is upside down created by men for them to have their cake with no consequences, that includes the option of abortion as well. They have no consequences I'm getting a female pregnant. Do not try to be what he wants at the expense of Who You Are and what you need. It's imperative to find out what you need emotionally, to truly know yourself, and then evaluate whether your dates have what it takes to fill those needs to be a possible mate. Not only one or two of them but all of them! It eliminates wasting invested years with the wrong person because it feels comfortable. Don't get into relationships that turn into habit, rather than a meaningful, purposeful and growing one! The moment you continue a relationship that you know in your gut is not right for you, you're moving into the limbo Zone! We adjust and get used to relationships that we know are not in our best self interest, out of a multitude of false fears! You were fine before you met him and you'll be fine when you let him go! Don't ever settle, God has a 'perfect' mate for you. Not 'perfect' but perfect for you, and you only have to ask God for him. Learn from my experience, don't relive it! ♡
I agree totally.
A guy like that I would dump right away. Instant
A very immature guy!!
Super helpful❤️Thank you!
Amazing video. I enjoyed it immensely, thank you!!
This was good!!! Thanks.....I hate it when a man: 1.thinks touching and groping is suppose to turn me on, no it's annoying. Sit and talk to me without touching!!! Stupid octopus
2. Thinking a sexual conversation is supposed to do something for me.....yet when we finally get together, you fail in performance.!! Ugh
3. Not maintaining hygiene.....breath trumps everything!! You can wear the same outfit as long as its clean and pressed....BUT ALWAYS MAKE BREATH A #1 PRIORITY FOR A DATE AND RELATIONSHIP!!!
I think I dated him too lol
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
💯.
I believe you Rosalyn! You are so on point especially about breath! Nothing grosser than smelly breath or someone that doesn't shower and wear clean clothes! Greasy hair is a turn off it's not the fifties anymore
On point!!! 💯
1) Asking too many biographical questions (like doing an interview instead of trying to bond);
2) Talking too much about themselves (especially showing off or stating their opinions as scientific facts);
3) Approaching a woman like a sweet, stupid little thing (being cheesy and inauthentic);
4) Showing disrespect toward any person, especially woman;
5) Talking about anything, just in order to cover up the silence;
6) Complaining about life circumstances, without trying to change anything.
As much as I can think of right now. :)
Number 3!! For sure. I hate that!
@Spooky Spectre Oh in my experience that happens much rarer than the stuff I mentioned. With that kind of guys I rarely have any date :D
Number 5. For sure. Thought I was the only one who noticed this.
Great topics I was going to touch on this
Thank you Matthew. I am in a new long distance relationship. I've been watching your videos and they really have helped.
hi dear, you’re so cute and I would love to be friends with you. Can you text me on WhatsApp for us to get to know each other.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful video ❤️
@Steve j Williams , how are you doing today?
Am Angela .
My now ex used to always try to control how I did everything. Everything had to be done HIS WAY. He was critical and nagging. I'm so over controlling people
My dad is like this and I believe he's a covert narcissist
my ex husband was that way, controlling everything, and it got worse, telling me east to wear, trying to stop me from.dance class, getting rid of my friends. My trust level is bad but working on that now. so when I met someone I see the signs of controlling I'm out.
.
@@angelicearth78 .
@@angelicearth78 .
I think it’s so rude when your out on a date and he’s checking his phone! Bye Bye!
How ironic.
His phone and Jeep mean more to him than people
My senior prom was ruined cause the guy I took was on his phone all night talking to another girl
Yes! I hate that.
Agreed
Awesome video. I agree. Thank You.
What do you do if you feel like you don't know how to be 'in balance' with yourself? I've lived so long trying to please and make other people happy that when people say 'be authentic' or 'be yourself', I don't know if what I'm feeling is truly what I want or if it's what I think I SHOULD do...
When they start talking dirty. Turn off!
When he tries to show me how much he thinks he knows and how dumb he thinks I am. Basically bullying me into submission...TURN OFF
Oh yeah!
Why would you date such a guy that thinks your are dumb?
There is an example of that here with another poster , a man (Donald Piniach)trying to verbally bully me into submission until I was telling him Blaa blaa blaa. It is mixed into the first boatload of posts...
@@maidenmarian1 "Bullying you" implies that you are a victim of some sort of statement that you think is uncomfortable and cannot manage the issue yourself. Women are strong and independent... not victims. Women are police officers, fire fighters, run for president, fight in the UFC, have babies etc... Plus, Im intrigued at how so many women cannot handle a bit of constructive criticism from a dating coach, as if women can do no wrong.
@@mgtowarena9636 This does not have to do with the maker of the video. There is nothing wrong with him. I would prefer not to continue to discuss the meaning of anything including the word "bullying"with you. I am fine. I did not post for the purpose of debating words and all of this political crap. I don't want to discuss it with you please. I also did not post to defend women and all of that. It does not imply that someone is a victim. I am too busy especially today to go down the rabbit hole, you appear to suggest, thank you. So many words today trigger the same old political crap. This crap started in the early 90's and I am not going to allow words to become something I have to bow to and submit to somewhere due to the idea of political correctness. Back off please. I can easily see and explain, am not a victim and not going to continue. Have a great day. This political highjacking of language has made me irate and now bored. There is so much to talk about but today I have unfortunately no extra time. Thanks.
Great video! I especially liked the commitment connection factor - I am a therapist working with women in their marriages / long -term relationships and I have not come across that term before. Connection before commitment sums it up nicely. My husband and I have merged finances as well and I always thank him for dinner even if I am paying half. Thanks for this video.
Is good to take care of and it's good to love and that is a relationship
Matt I am so happy see any video about you! Thank you very much!
How are you doing 😊😊😊👋
When he says I love you or I care about you but he hardly knows you! He just wants to get laid!
Sooooo true!!
Actually it’s more likely that he’s a hardcore narcissist. This is a common thing from narcissistic and/or abusive partners (men and women actually).
Faylyn I’m interested in this comment about narcicists jumping the gun on “I love you”. Do you have any more info?
Faylyn I’m interested in this comment about narcicists jumping the gun on “I love you”. Do you have any more info?
Intellectualizing love. "I choose to love you." Because he feels falling love implies a victim mentality. I smiled, I shrugged it off and said, "whatever, I love you."
That was super! Thanks!
The behaviors that pushes me away from a man are control issues, possessiveness and invalidating things I say and do. Not keeping promises or not being helpful or thoughtful in small ways are turn-offs.
That's a sweet compliment. Thanks you, Oscar.
Always the best! Thank you!
I'm so glad you addressed number 1 because a lot of dating "coaches" tell you to do that and it totally feels like playing games. And it feels fake. It's all so confusing.
It’s called literally living your life… if the text comes in and it’s genuinely hours before you can give an honest considered response… then that’s fair, but if you’re sitting there looking at the text on read.. for hours then it’s a game..
It’s only inauthentic if it’s inauthentic!!
Example
My guy texts me at 4pm
Hey baby.. can we meet Tuesday instead??
Then again at 5:30 as I hadn’t responded and it was a text loaded with insecurity..
Text: I’m so sorry to change it around promise I won’t do it again 🙏
I was only able to reply by 10:30pm because my battery had died and I was travelling.
I sent a reply
Just got in baby with zero 🪫
Yep that plan sounds good for me.. let’s chat tomorrow.. going to bed now sweet dreams looking forward to seeing ya xx 😘
That was authentic..
Vs: Yeah sure..
yeah sure can imply I had seen it and was sitting there fuming 😤
It’s all about communication..
By letting him know I got in late and had no battery.. he then followed up with kisses 😘 smiles 😊 and basically what read as relief 🥲 and continued to text funny memes despite my saying goodnight 😂
As he clearly assumed he pissed me off or annoyed me judging by his follow up text when he hadn’t heard from me..
It’s only a game if you’re playing games…
Sure a little sexual tension and delayed gratification on the off chance .. say replying 30 mins to an hour later is also ok.. but don’t play games.. if you’re genuinely living your life, then it’s a dance 🕺🏼 💃🏽 and it feels real.
It’s about building connection!
Going forward.. after I see him, I will thank him for the date on the night by text and then that’s it… the ball is in HIS court to respond and ask me out again or respond by text to me…
It took me years to get to this realisation and it was years of singleness and observing mens behaviour.
Ultimately you are not playing games if you are genuinely busy and living and that is attractive..
also do not tell them everything that you are doing.
Mystery is good.
Let them find out your layers but by bit.. by building connection.
Also don’t be too available… this will be evident by you living your life.. but also have occasional availability..
Example.. do not ditch plans with friends and family to see him if you have made plans.. but also do not accept can I see you later today..
If you are busy you are busy..
But if it’s say Wednesday and you’re available genuinely available on Saturday.. then that’s fine!!
It’s also ok to say I am already out this evening.. can we plan for another night?
This shows that it’s not no.. just not now.
Again it’s all about communication..
I’m no guru and I’m only sharing what has worked or is working for me.
That being said.. I’m having a relationship without fear of loss and not having any expectations of any outcome.
I’m finding out if I like what I like and I’m also prepared fully to walk way!
Stay open stay true to yourself..
I hope this helps ❤
Continuous negativity. Complaining about his life but not doing anything to change it.
Yes!!!
Yes!!! I hate that! Grow up for heaven sake and take care of yourself and your life. It's like them seeking for a new mom. Puh!
My ex husband did this, complain about his family and me all the time. He walked out and found him an older woman, I guess he needed a mom. Every time he called me about the kids, she was in the back ground telling him what to say or communicate for him. Now they are married and live across the united states from his children and grand child. Life is crazy, just wished he would have communicated this to me before I gave him 26 years of my life. Been 8 years now, and all I can do is laugh, and know what he missing out of this grand child.
@@asaengman6854 Yes, my first serious ex was like this. His mom suggested that I get a better paying job while he pretty much was complacent about his debts and unemployment.
This is the absolute worst.
And CONGRATULATIONS to 600K!!!!! I am so honored to have been following you for 4 years. You always make my life rich and full of warmth and compassion ❤️😘❤️😘
Thank you, I will be doing this.
Great video thank you 😊👍
When men talk about their ex constantly....exit stage left!!!
I went through this and did not even know these were dates. Talking about an ex, tends to cancel out the idea that you are on a date...
Same goes for women 😉
@@toridmbfan Your cheeky.
When in the very beginning the guy starts to talk about sex, parts of the body, and that wants to do a massage, etc etc.... It´s a cold shower for me
I had to unmatch a guy on Bumble today because he asked if I was coming over for a massage and we had been a match for 2 days. Byeee!
Yeah, even guy friends always want to massage me.... If your a friend you don't have this urge!
@@LoveBeliefTruth you need to dump those "friends." They're ONLY there b/c they think you'll sleep with them. Go find some women or gays.
Agreed!He wants only sex not you!
(Removed swearword.) You are not a masseuse or more precisely a prostitute that this being paid to pleasure him. I can't believe it has gotten this bad for women. I can't stand reading this. At least the guy should be your boyfriend.... And even then he has to learn how this should really be done....
You always do such a good job!
Scaring me away?
1. Not listening to me
2. Talking abt other women
3. Refusing to do things I like
4. Blowing me off for for buddies or activities
Ty
Nice advice. It's very helpful to me and for everybody who are building strong relationships
They try to turn you off instead of breaking up. They try to get you to break up with them. Even ghosting is better then dishonesty.
True!!!
When I'm dating a man I don't like it when they constantly ask me where are u, what you doing?
Uuugh, such a lazy and pointless question. None yo bidness son!
I was thinking of, "I cannot talk/text you right now because I am experiencing exploding diarrhea!!" That will shut them up!
Spooky Spectre 😄😂🤣
Exactly girlfriend...not good for me too...it somehow makes me lose interest in picking his calls to avoid that qn
I get this from men randomly messaging me on other social media! That whole "wyd" thing instantly annoys me! I want to be snotty and say "I'm in the bathroom! Can't I use it in private? " 😂 But I don't... I just get highly annoyed. Lol
Great advice!!!
This is so random, but I got here because I was watching the Victorian Dating Etiquette and wondered what the dating etiquette of today is about as I been happily married for nearly a decade. I almost left a couple of minutes into it when I realized that this video is also helpful for a wife to her husband. Thanks, pretty useful advices. 👌
I got to say that everything you said that pushes men away- is also the same exact things that push woman away as well. Great advice! I love how you explain connection verses commitments and how that works in reality.
Hi, get anyone to love or (SP) attracted to you. And Alo get your Ex back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Wilson,he helped me restore my 5 years relationship. Also Dr Wilson Always keep with his words, I will advise you to seek his help thanks
+2347063620887⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of breakup-.,
Agree, like a guy that doesn't offer to help carry suitcases or other large objects.
I really need a very nice date 😊
@@TheLaurabecky Wow! that's so sexist. A big red flag is women who want equality, but claim entitlement to unequal behavior.
Checking out other women in front of me...😑
Lisa Phillips yes..very disrespectful...how would he feel when a gorgeous Man walks by and you are checking him out?
I hear you girl, I hear you! And you know what? I know tons of women who do not mind. To me that one of the biggest turn offs, I just get up and leave if I can.
One time I went on a date with this guy I had been dating for a year (my ex at this point) we went to the zoo and it was supposed to be a really bonding experience because he knew I loved animals. To cut it short, I saw this 6/10 girl slightly above average looking so I knew he was going to look so I looked in the reflection of the glass for the lemurs pretending to be looking at them while he was about 2 feet behind me. And what do you know he took that opportunity of thinking I was distracted looking at the lemurs to stare at this girl so much to the point where I’d be creeped out if I were her. So I didn’t hold his hand and walked in front of him the rest of the time and when she passed by us again I told him “there she is go get her number”. It’s just the most annoying thing ever in a guy. I know it’s normal because my dad does it and he’s 59 happily married 37 years never cheated on her obviously. But it’s just SO ANNOYING because you can’t help but think “you must want her” and what he’s thinking when he’s staring at her while your just a side piece in that moment ughhhh that feeling sucks. Even as a model and a generally seen as “hot girl” it SUCKS.
@@Lizestechreviews It is annoying! and, to me, highly disrespectful if he is close to 'his' girl. Like I use to say: when they are in groups of just guys (we all kow how guys are when they are together: boys will be boys kind of shit), or alone, look at whatever they want, if they are near me and showed some interest already, that makes me think twice big time! (Do I want to put up with this kind of shit in the future?). Yeah, looking is 'normal' (or society made it normal, or is just accepted because everybody does it and nobody thinks much about it - but just because 100% of the guys do it, it does not make it 'right') but, to me, is the first step to more - yeah, it can be completely 'innocent' (it os not but let's pretend it is), but it can not be innocent at all! How the heck will I know?
Yeah, what you told your ex, it's the kind of answer they get from me whenever I catch them doing that. Many of them play offended. I don't care.
It even annoys me when it's the other way around: when they are with 'their' women and I catch them doing that. It bothers me a lot because I know didn't ask for it and there we are. And it also bothers me for the woman because I know I wouldn't like it. I find it DISRESPECTFUL and it's like I am being part of it without asking for it! Most of the times I leave or rush to get the heck out of where ever we are, if I can. Just not nice!
Yes !!!! Major turn off
I learnt alot here thanks ✊
Special thanks for that nr. 5!
What men do to push women away: mansplaining, ignore or pull away, talk to an ex, and lie/omit/or keep details vague.
Yep, if he causes me to be in question, I don't trust him and I'm not going to live that way.... again...
oh, you mean be 90% of men in the dating pool? thats why we are all screwed.
THIS!! I recently cut off a marriage prospect cuz of this!!!
Hi, get anyone to love or (SP) attracted to you. And Alo get your Ex back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Wilson,he helped me restore my 5 years relationship. Also Dr Wilson Always keep with his words, I will advise you to seek his help thanks
+2347063620887⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of breakup-.,
Love how you always give examples of your wife, so lovely😄.
Thank you so much for your video
Mat, you’re always on point!!! Thank you😀🙏🏽