Living Without the One You Cannot Live Without - Research on Aging
Vložit
- čas přidán 21. 08. 2024
- Learn more about the various states of the grieving process and how men and women grieve and heal differently. Natasha Josefowitz, PhD, bestselling author and professor of management will use poems from her award-winning book, Living Without the One You Cannot Live Without (November 2013), to illustrate the emotional aftermath of loss and the changes that must take place in order for people to heal. [11/2014] [Show ID: 28363]
Donate to UCTV to support informative & inspiring programming:
www.uctv.tv/do...
Please Note: Knowledge about health and medicine is constantly evolving. This information may become out of date.
More from: Stein Institute for Research on Aging
(www.uctv.tv/stein)
Explore More Health & Medicine on UCTV
(www.uctv.tv/he...)
UCTV features the latest in health and medicine from University of California medical schools. Find the information you need on cancer, transplantation, obesity, disease and much more.
UCTV is the broadcast and online media platform of the University of California, featuring programming from its ten campuses, three national labs and affiliated research institutions. UCTV explores a broad spectrum of subjects for a general audience, including science, health and medicine, public affairs, humanities, arts and music, business, education, and agriculture. Launched in January 2000, UCTV embraces the core missions of the University of California -- teaching, research, and public service - by providing quality, in-depth television far beyond the campus borders to inquisitive viewers around the world.
(www.uctv.tv)
Check out "The Miraculous Healing Power of Food with Anthony Lim" here: czcams.com/video/Nuts6ZE5wok/video.html
My wife passed on 1/2/2024 in our home from heart attack. I was there to see her last breaths. The guilt of being helpless in that moment is overwhelming. God bless my wife Marcy.
If the entire world gathered to provide assistance she would still pass at the same exact moment as it’s ordained by the creator. ❤️🩹
My husband and i met in high school, continued dating afterward graduation, and we married when i was 20, he was 21. We were married 41 years when he died. I literally cried every day for 5 months. I felt lost and alone. Paralyzed with grief. I withdrew from everything and everyone. As i began to heal i decided not to remarry. And 7 years after his passing, i am still a widow. I'm learning to live alone and learning how peaceful silence is. I removed the TV and began to listen to Christian teachings on my phone. With no TV, the static in my ears disappeared. I'm in a much better frame of mind. I still love my husband. I always will.
I don't know why you removed the TV but it is probably one of the best things anyone can do. And no TV helps to be content with yourself and life. It has been for me.
I could not survive without Jesus, Holy Spirit. My husband died just over 4 years ago after dementia/alzheimers. My older daughter died 14 1/2 yrs ago at age 32. I have to say the loss of my child has been worse.
@@AintNoFool /
@@AintNoFool Oh, Sara, I am so sorry for your loss. Accept my deepest condolences. I lost my wife in 2020 to COVID, and I understand how it feels to lose those very close to us and the trauma that goes with it, I had to go for a therapy class and it help me a lot with my depression. you have to stay positive no matter what and learn to move on from your past my dear. we can be friends and can communicate more if you want. where are you viewing from?
Thank you to all who took the time to read my post. My smart phone is basically my only outlet. My health is declining and my feet are forgetting how to walk. I lean over and nearly tip over. I've lived in this apartment for 2 years but only 6 people know I'm here.. I have 2 caregivers who see to my housekeeping and groceries, and I'm very thankful for what they do for me. I took care of senior citizens when i was young and now the service is being returned to me. I've joked about not having a funeral because no one would be there. All my friends are dead. I take life as it comes. And now a days, i hum alot. Old songs, new songs. I'm content with my life.
After 52 years married, I lost her this morning. I’m watching this in hopes of learning how to manage these waves of incredible grief.
I know how you feel. Just put one foot in front of another and keep moving.
Good luck..take it slowly and cry if you need to. Slowly you will come out of the fog
You wrote that the day she died..how are you now?
my wife passed two years ago after 55 years together. i did not know this level pf sadness existed.
You wasted no time to get on CZcams
What an amazing down to earth and warm woman! She passed away this March 15, 2023. Rest in Peace dear woman, hopefully you are now with your loved ones in the next world.💐
I met my husband when We were 15 and 17. Our marriage at 20 and 22 lasted 65 years. I am am now after 3 years still feeling I have no perpuse in life. After being very healthy My health went down with a vengeance. I have good days and bad days bu tI am hear until the man upstairs decides it is time for me to join john. So I keep a fixed smile on my face and take a day at a time. I prefer to be the one left because I know he would have faded away within weeks. Thankyou for listening.
I’m 74. Lost my husband and soulmate of 52 years 4 years ago. Your Dopamine Fix theory hit home. For me, whenever my husband and I would make eye contact from across the room, he would wink at me. What I wouldn’t give to have that dopamine fix just one more time.
What I wouldn't give to experience that feeling from a soulmate even once... I have yet to meet my true love. Also - I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you love.
Dear beautiful souls.
I just lost my little baby boy Saturday 3-26-22. I am in unbearable heartache pain to the core of my very soul!💔😢😭 please pray🙏 sending love and light from my heart to yours❤🙌🌈💜
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Oh bonnie ,l do hope you are healing somewhat , so much love from me to your family xx❤️
Take care that you don't lose yourself in an all-consuming grief. Hopefully, you have a loving partner or dear friend, to share this pain with, if not, seek counseling to talk you through this most painful loss. Sending warm thoughts your way.
I was diagnosed with stage 3 bone cancer and my cancer only has 3 stages. One week after having my femur removed, blood clots blocked 7 veins from my hip to my ankle. While bound to my wheelchair unable to walk, we found out that our unborn baby had a major heart problem. He ended up requiring complete reconstructive open heart surgery when he was only 6 days old. Not long after that my 13 year old son suffered a traumatic brain injury losing the entire right half and frontal lobe completely. He was in a coma for 2 months. We threw ourselves upon Jesus. Know this: every prayer was answered. I am no longer in a wheelchair, am fully capable. 8 years in remission. Our young boy is 110% and proud of his chest scar where God gave him a lions heart. My 13 year old is now 17 and 100% mentally recovered. He lost nothing. He lost no time in school and is soon to be an engineer, his dream. Nothing is impossible. Where you think you end is really where you begin. Believe in Jesus and through that faith, be thankful. God is great people. Much love to ALL OF YOU.
Aww...
Jesus is our saviour amen 🙏🏿
Very true! But so many lost their faith the last years and now only worship injections which are full of anti Christian stuff 😢
God bless you for sharing this! ❤️🙏
This would not have been possible 100 years ago.
Still crying my eyes out 30 years later. I don't keep his pictures around me because it's too painful to see his face. People don't understand how I can grieve for so long, I tell them because that was my soulmate and that's the only man for me.
I understand! I have been missing my love for 22 years!
How sad that you are still actively grieving after 30 years....
LIFE is not a Rehearsal......
I understand. I lost my husband almost 13 years ago and I’m still missing him a lot.
For those of us who have lost a spouse that is truly our soul mate, we definitely understand how you can grieve that long. I think we will grieve on some level until the day we die too. Its only been 7 months for me but I do understand your pain. When my husband died and was buried, a part me me died and was buried with them. I am not whole anymore. That empty space in my soul will always be there while I am still alive. But I am a Christian and I believe in Jesus so I know this life is temporary and I will be reunited with my husband someday and this time it will be forever. That is the only thing that brings me comfort. I hope you can be comforted by that too. 🙏
Just over seven years for me, he died in April of 2015…the grief is still here. I “hear tell” we move on with it -I guess this is so. Yet each morning I wake up without him, I miss him as much as ever. …why am I still here? 🤔😓
The price you pay for loving someone with all your heart, is that they take it with them when they die.
So true. I wish you well.
True. But with divorce there are other losses as well, standard of living, home, retirement savings, self esteem, shame, failure.
When you love someone for no reason at all, just because, they are there for you forever. You can talk with them.
Truer words were never said.🙏
When my incredible husband died he took half of my heart with him and left behind half of his heart for me. This gives me great comfort and makes the memories we made more special. WE are sharing them together!
I was married for 60 years to my soul mate husband who had dementia but was still his gentle loving self and died four years ago . I still cry myself to sleep every night - the heart never goes away
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
20 years together and I lost him two weeks ago. I feel broken , empty and scared. My husband will never be past tense to me. We are still a team. I am struggling
It’s soon, of course it’s still raw and painful, and you feel unstable. You’re grieving... it takes time - you are 5 months ahead of me. does it ease?.
Same here 5 years later. I thought it would get easier.
@@domINkl 15mths here. No, not better just longer. He lives on in my heart.
I lost my husband last Nov 2021. He and I were only 54 and we were married 34 years. I am still so very heartbroken. I struggle every single day. Almost 7 months later I still feel broken and scared and so very empty. I hope this finds you doing better. I know that this pain never really goes away.
It will always be OUR HOME. Period.
Just googled her, as at November 2021, she is 95. I hope she found that lovely companion she sought
For 52 years every time I heard my husband's truck/car pull up the driveway, my heart lifted. That was dopamine. I was very fortunate, no regrets.
I came across your comment at the grief of love ones post here on CZcams. ☹️That’s so touching and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all loss our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I truly understand how you feel cos I’ve felt same unbearable experiences before but death is just inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve loss will always want to see us happy again wherever they’re. I loss my oldest daughter Annabel February 24th 2020 in a crucial car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unlucky for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamenting day of my whole life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife passed away three years ago from a shocking disease, I felt devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 but God and time are indeed the best healers. Hope you’ve found peace, comfort and happiness again?
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹🌹
My beautiful kind selfless mother passed away yesterday (March 11, 2022) and I cannot express the depths of my sorrow, sadness and the emptiness I feel. She was the most wonderful person I’ve ever known. She was the source of all joy, the rock and the life of our family. I really cannot see how I can recover when she seemed like she was going to make it. I just wish I had one more week, one more month and one more year with her. I pray pray pray I get to see her again.
So sorry for your big loss. I pray for your comfort from the almighty God! In the meantime, don’t forget that death is not the end. We will see them again in heaven.
@@salemabraha6289 thank you for your kind words
I wonder how are you doing now, after three months ?
it is terrible to lose somebody so dear to you
I know that our spirits go on after we die - so it is only our physical/mortal connection that is lost
I would encourage you to write down how you feel as it helps to express the grief
that you feel
you can write also in the form of a letter to your mum and say things you can’t express to anyone else
sending you heartfelt love
So sorry for your lost. You got to be wit your wonderful Mother 15 years longer than I. Bless you my dear.
I am sorry. I know you will see her again. 💙
I lost my wife of 16 years and 4 days to cancer on January 19th, I have been searching for some way to understand and accept what happened. This marvelous lady has done wonders to help me understand. I am so thankful that I found this.
She is absolutely fantastic. She knows what she is talking about. She has been through it all!!! I will watch this more than once.
@@lindamcfadden5522 I saw sew
My biologic dad died from blood clots while recovering from pneumonia at a local Maufit Cancer Center.
I still call his number just to hear his vm greeting,
if all be for the last time when the number's finally disconnected...
I’m so sorry for your loss. I have been with the same man for over 30 years and the thought of losing him brings me to tears. I just lost my mother last month so I feel your pain. Only my religion offers some solace
Omy I feel the same.
My husband died at age 46 in 1995. I was 38 and 64 now, never lived with anyone or got remarried. Was busy working, now retired and playing it day by day. I've learned to enjoy the company of women more than men where there are no expectations. God will provide.
I just lost my husband in September this year 2021. Covid Pneumonia. I feel like my story will be much like yours. I was with others before him and he was the greatest love of my life and soul mate most certainly. We both didn't like being without each other for any amount of time. Even missing each other when r were at work. I know I will never love again or stop loving him. I'm so completely broken right now. I pray that I will learn how to cope with this loss. It was always my greatest fear for him to pass before me and here I am living my greatest fear. 😔😞💔
I respect you.
Bless you Holly. You honour your love.
@@kentuckygirl4574 I feel like I could have written this comment almost word for word! I just lost my husband and like you, I had other relationships before but they did not even come CLOSE to my soulmate husband who passed away. He was perfect compared to any others and he was the one I wanted to be with all the time. We missed each other 5 minutes after we left each other to go to do an errand or work or shop or whatnot. He had to work out of state for a year and it was awful. I hated every second of it and just wanted him back. Then he FINALLY got back home and we were ready to start our life together and then he dies suddenly and out of the blue. I am broken. Completely broken. It was always my greatest fear as well, to lose my husband, and now here I am.. living in the nightmare every day and unable to get out of it. Hugs to you. Please reach out if you ever need a friend.
Loss isn’t always about a death!!! My dad and mom have been married for sixty years: Dad recently moved into an aged care facility : Mums day to day life has changed dramatically , they RARELY ever spent a night apart. Dad and Mum did mostly everything together; and even though they can still see each other; it’s such a dramatic life change for both of them ………
You are so right about this!!!
I agree. This is real grief, too. Before my mother died, I experienced grief for 2 years, as she became a different person after her stroke. We grief in many instances where there is no death. Peace.
It's also grief when your loved one is affected by Dementia. When you look around their personal spaces and see the dust gathering on their long untouched possessions . Their interest layed to rest, their photos, their order. The seemingly insignificant things suddenly seem very important and you cry. The grieving process has begun and they are only in the next room,sitting where you placed them, staring at the TV. Daddy. Gone 5 months.
This woman speaks a lot of truth. Having lost my wife over 14 months ago - I try to take steps, but so hard. Miss her so much still.
my thoughts exactly
It is said if you hold on your loved one can’t be at peace. Don’t know if it’s true but my friend tells me it is. Let them go in peace!
Lost my husband 15 years ago, I understood the cycle of life so this helped @ lot. Also seen him pass away, was happy he was so much @ peace. Love is letting go, life is changed not ended. 🙏❤️
Nobody will replace your late wife. No new casserole would make up for it but it surely would be nicer to know that your wife would not have wanted you to live in a miserable lifestyle. Her mission on this earth was over. Thankfully, we still live in a society which allows us interaction with other human beings. I hope you'll find healing in beautiful memories with your late wife, and learn how to live again without her just as you did before meeting her. Praying for you.
@@mariehaverty8209 I came across your comment at the grief of love ones post here on CZcams. ☹️That’s so touching and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all loss our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I truly understand how you feel cos I’ve felt same unbearable experiences before but death is just inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve loss will always want to see us happy again wherever they’re. I loss my oldest daughter Annabel February 24th 2020 in a crucial car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unlucky for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamenting day of my whole life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife passed away three years ago from a shocking disease, I felt devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 but God and time are indeed the best healers. Hope you’ve found peace, comfort and happiness again?
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹🌹
“No one is there to witness your life”. I dread that when my dear father dies he will be the last alive of my family. We share so many memories that we enjoy reminiscing over. All that will stop. Dead.
This is the best, most down to earth talk on grief out there. I lost my husband of 37 years and have been listening to all sorts of information on this horrible grieving process. There are no words to describe how hard it is, but this came closer than most.
A brilliant talk and very helpful.Beautiful woman who accepts the fact that there is no one way to grief.Very down to earth with a sense of humour also.I lost my husband after being together for 53 years 8 months ago.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. My heart goes out to you.
I just keep praying for all of us...
So sorry. I lost my husband of 68 years a month ago. No words to describe this loss. All the tears and feelings and sorrow. I am a mess. Hoping for you a blessing to go on.
6 yrs in grief is love
..love never dies so grief is the new expression.God gav
us a safe proper place to put this powerful emotion.
it has its own compartment and
sometimes got to
close the door to keep it contained
while u realize it
will always be.grief
is real such a part
of who u are...the door can be opened
anytime since no lock is used ....for wht? memories coexist with grief
so hard to contain
or control so the door is forever unlocked while grief
continue to roam
cloudin n freein our minds at the same time..without God
impossible to go or do it alone...on goin
process as a reminder of Who God is. no one higher bigger more powerful than He.
the journey is ongoin...adapt adjust accept ..just is...
I envy you guy's grieving the loss of your loving spouse. My late husband was totally irresponsible to me and the children, cheated on me and was emotionally abusive to everyone including his own widowed mother. When he died, I actually feel so relieved that I didn't have to go through an ugly divorce.
I recently lost my dog of 13 years, Beso. This was very helpful. Thank you Dr. Josefowitz🙏❤️ Sending a virtual hug🤗
I lost my 13 year old pet a few weeks ago as well. She was a devoted, loving, loyal companion. The emptiness she left behind is devastating. We had a very tight bond.
@@margietucker1719 Sorry for your loss Margie. You are not alone. It will take time to heal. Sending you a virtual hug.❤️🤗Thanks for sharing
I lost my 9 years old dog few weeks ago and I feel horrible, I cannot find peace :(
As a single person losing my pets is so difficult. In time we can choose to bring another into our lives and learn to love again.
You all may have heard this before but just in case:
It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.
Anonymous
❤️🐶❤️
I lost my beloved rescue cat three months ago. I miss her so much . I hope this helps me too.
Just found this by accident and couldn't stop watching and hearing topics that are so often unspoken to grieving people. I lost my dad suddenly over 30 years ago and was traumatised but someone said to me afterwards 'your dad loved you so much that the very last thing he would want to see is for you to be sad for too long' and I knew that was so true - and I make a conscious effort to recall all the good memories, and to smile about my time with him. Thank you for your kind words and advice x
Live a happy life in honor of your Dad!
I love this video, I am 57 and my dear husband passed away quite suddenly 3 weeks ago i don't know but i experience everything this woman tells and it is true i have many sisters and this loss is terrible. I listen to this woman cause i dont know how to deal with this grief, i deny it, sometimes but then it comes back in such intensity, everything she tells is true. Thank you so much, and God bless .
I lost my husband of 41 years very suddenly and unexpectedly from complications of undiagnosed Obstructive Sleep Apnea 17 days ago. How does life go on when he was my entire world? I have so much grief, fear, remorse and guilt. This video is helpful but also very sad. “We come in pairs. We are meant to be couples.” So true. I hope you are doing well.
Denial is a big one for me. Good to know I'm not alone in this. Its all so painful. Praying for your healing as well. My condolences
@@pamcornelius9122 I lost my wife of 45yrs. u take one day at a time! In time & Lords help
it WILL GET BETTER!
Rose, I too love the video. I lost my wife 4 months ago. It's not easy, but lately it seems to be getting better. I am trying to be kind to myself, and trying to trust the process. I wish you well
I also lost my life partner and love just a month ago suddenly. My entire world has shattered and I have no idea how I will face the rest of my time here on earth without him. I’ve been immersing myself in grief and afterlife videos. I talk to him out loud and I know he hears me. I know when it’s my time he will be there waiting for me to bring me home. So very sorry for your loss. I’m sure the last year of grief for you has been a very challenging ride. Sending you love.
One thing that should be mentioned no matter how much time you spend with somebody else or try to fill your days nobody else takes the place of the person that is gone and it always comes back to you no matter how much you’re with other people and doing other things but in time you learn to live without that other person
😪😭🥺 Soooo sad!!
The hurt is devastating ✝️
FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE, I WOULD ADVISE THAT PEOPLE DONT GET INTO A NEW RELATIONSHIP FOR A FEW YEARS , AS WHEN GRIEVING AND LONELINESS HITS , ONE CAN WALK INTO A BAD ONE , NEED. TIME TO HEAL 🙏🏾 ITS HELPS TO KNOW THAT ONE WILL MEET THEM AGAIN IN THE NEXT LIFE 🙏🏾
Divorce is like a death, and it's been 2 1/2 months since the divorce, and I am still grieving. Her talk resonated with me, my grief is "normal" and hearing her words, helped me. I hope it sticks.
Sorry to hear about your divorce. I cannot relate in that I never married, but I have heard and it makes some sense, in that, sometimes a death can be ‘easier’ (if there is such a thing as easier) in that there is closure per se. In divorce-my thought it must be difficult to get closure as you do a lot of wondering and what ifs.
As she said be kind to yourself, pray you gain wisdom in this period.
@@jld4870 Thank you.
My husband of 48+ years passed away 224 days ago after a difficult dance with advanced parkinson and dementia. I retired from work that I loved to take care of him the last few years ... near the end he did not recognize me. Now I have guilt from the relief of his passing. I am unbearable on my own. The harder adjustment is that I have never lived alone my entire life ... going from my parents house to getting married. This video was the most illuminating and humorous and helpful advice I have the good fortune to stumple across. Thank you ever so much!
I met my husband when I was 19. Never lived alone until his death 20 months ago. I miss his smile and companionship. I have no prior experience to fall back on.
This talk was helpful. But I am so alone….
You understand…..
@@carolcruise8054 I do understand ... We are each affected by the different kinds and levels of grief and integrate the emotions in our own way and in our own time. Take a deep breath and know that the memories will always be with you in your heart.
@@carolcruise8054 I came across your comment at the grief of love ones post here on CZcams. ☹️That’s so touching and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all loss our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I truly understand how you feel cos I’ve felt same unbearable experiences before but death is just inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve loss will always want to see us happy again wherever they’re. I loss my oldest daughter Annabel February 24th 2020 in a crucial car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unlucky for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamenting day of my whole life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife passed away three years ago from a shocking disease, I felt devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 but God and time are indeed the best healers. Hope you’ve found peace, comfort and happiness again?
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹🌹
I appreciate this. Im only 30 I lost my husband to cancer 4 days ago he was 28. I can relate to the pregrief so much bc i remember being with him while he slept all day waiting for that one hour of him being awake to have time with him. My biggest problem is the day he died i feel that is whats killing me..its the trauma of his suffering that lasted hours and how scared he was. I wish i could find peace i just wanns know he's ok.
I lost my wife to cancer in 1989
She was only 31
She to passed from cancer
Although it’s been over 30 years I remember like it was yesterday
I understand what you are going through
I believe the family and friends that I loved who have died are at peace.When I wonder about their suffering I say to myself 'He/She is at peace now,She/he is at peace'..and I repeat that until the anxiety passes.I hope that is a small help at this very difficult time.I am so sorry for your loss.
I don't know if this will bring you any peace, but I want you to know that there's a lot of things that man has added to the truth of what happens when we die to instill fear, gain power, and profit from people's faith. I KNOW...I no longer have faith...that when we die we ALL go "Home". He's waiting for you and enveloped in an all consuming Love that we can't fathom on Earth. I know because of this:
I've always believed in God. I was never a church goer or Bible beater by any means, but certainly had the feeling that something greater created us and there was a reason for this life. At times I've cussed and screamed at him that I hated him for the pain in my life. I've totally turned and lost faith at times as well. The faith I have now is rooted in a near/post death experience during a suicide attempt a few months back. I ate an entire month's supply of blood pressure medication and layed down to die. I'm actually still processing a lot of what happened and what I was shown and the knowledge and Undescribable, unconditional Love God has for ALL OF US. GOD IS LOVE, and we are all OF GOD, and we are ALL part of each other.. We are creators as well. Time is an illusion, but I spent what would be the equivalent of a couple weeks in God's Glory and kingdom…there's ways you can go too without dying(I don't recommend it) Believe it or not, we actually CHOSE this life and most of the tragedy in it. We even chose how we die. I know right?!?! WTF WERE WE THINKING?!?! I can't sit here and write the book in one sitting, but I'll bless you with some knowledge. The “MEANING OF LIFE" is something everyone wants to know, and it's a lot simpler than we all think. This life, on Earth, is not our first and won't be our last. The people closest to us have traveled with us before, and we made contracts with them for this lifetime. Earth life is a SCHOOL. It teaches one collective lesson that is truly important. HOW TO LOVE AND HOW TO BE LOVED. That's it. There's no graduating with a 4.0 either. There IS HOWEVER a pass/fail kind of thing, and if we fail ourselves or our loved ones, we gotta come back and do it again until we get it right. We also have an individual PURPOSE. This is different than “meaning". It could be as simple as a stranger watching us perform a random act of kindness and inspiring a ripple effect that goes on paying it forward for a very long time. It could be as profound as curing a disease or stopping a war. I wasn't told my purpose, but I know it's found by knowing the MEANING and loving people the best you can and accepting the love they give back. I was introduced to a soul I'd never met before I came back…by choice…and she told me her name on Earth. I'd never heard this name before EVER, but it was so familiar to me when I awoke that it was etched into my mind. She said if I have questions about the afterlife to read her work, but to take it with a grain of salt because she didn't get all of it right, and that me having her name it would verify to me that what I experienced was real. I thought I'd search her on CZcams and lI found her. I listened to some of her lectures. I instantly started crying tears of extreme joy and my connection to God has never been stronger. Remember…I LOVE YOU! GOD LOVES YOU WAY MORE, and don't forget that. It's one more person than some people have, so go out there. Do something for someone else you don't know and don't expect a thing back. I don't care if you volunteer at a homeless shelter or give a homeless person a few dollars. Go to an old folks home and just spend some time talking to people that don't have anyone ever come see them. You pick, but you'll be AMAZED at how beautiful life becomes. ((HUGS♥️))
My prayers are with you. I try to picture my son standing next to Jesus.
I’m sorry about your loss
My wife passed away 6 days ago due to cancer we were married for 29 years I miss her dearly
Grief is the most individually difficult period in a person's life...different stages for everone...different lengths of time....different in severity...you just participate in life until your joy comes back
I lost my mother ten months ago. I’m not sure I’m coping. Listening to this has helped me more than I can express. I recognise everything said here. I was my mothers carer for seven years and l have never lived aside from her. Sometimes I think I’m actually in hell. I feel like I’ve fallen out of the fabric of life and sometimes l just want it to stop no matter the cost. But I believe in the afterlife and l want to be with her when l do pass. I have several mental health issues that complicate everything beyond measure, but no matter what, I’m grateful for my life with her. I knew it would be like this, but that was theoretical. Now I’m living it and I feel sometimes I’m going mad. But. This has helped me today, so much, and I believe there’s a light ahead and a future. Love to everyone here❤️
Love to you. So glad this helped. One day sometimes one breathe at a time. For me allowing myself to feel the grief no matter how unpleasant was essential. It can be so lonely though cause it can be such a personal journey. As she said we are not alone, yet we still have to feel and hopefully express our own pain.
Don’t know if you have heard is seen ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ but in it the widower says I get up and I take one breathe then I take another.
Again glad you found or connected with what Natasha shared….that is a really good thing…something inside is alive enough to connect!!!
I wish more people in her age group had an overall voice. Age doesn't always equal wisdom. But there is still a higher chance that someone who has lived this long has experienced a whole lot more than we younger folk have and can transfer some of their own life lessons to us, so we can learn from it.
I lost my husband 9 years ago after 27 years of a beautiful marriage. We connected on all levels.
I miss him so much to this day. (I still live in our home) We worked together same job we were a team through & through. We drove cross country, we built our home & others. The best advice I can offer is remembering the good times, when I'm down & sad 😔. I am constantly reminded of our good times.God bless 🙌
Amen.
I lost my husband to cancer in 2017 . I can’t move on and I probably never will. I lost my mom and my older last year. I miss them all. I lost my younger sister and dad when I was younger.
Prayer from Mississippi
Lost my husband 12 yrs ago. We were team drivers too and did everything together. Lost our only child this past Jan. Am learning that life goes on and we create our own place in the world.
I m alone
I m single 😍😍❤❤👧👧🌷🌷
I lost my beloved man at 49 years old.....5 years on I'm worse off...I miss him so! Your lecture spot on ☺
I just lost my dad and he was 58 :(
Brilliant talk. Loved it. I just lost my beautiful brother in law, and thought this would be helpful for his family when they are ready to listen to it.
I am widowed for 12 days. But I had my darling for over 50 years. He died a terrible death and while I grieve, I am glad he is at peace. I feel for you. I can’t comprehend the depth of your loss.
I am so sorry my dear. To lose your beloved at such young age is truly tragic. My very best wishes for you.
@@veronicamcniff668 I’m so sorry for your lost, I lost my husband to a tragic accident last month. We are only 28 years old. This lecture is the TRUTH
@@veronicamcniff668 I came across your comment at the grief of love ones post here on CZcams. ☹️That’s so touching and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all loss our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I truly understand how you feel cos I’ve felt same unbearable experiences before but death is just inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve loss will always want to see us happy again wherever they’re. I loss my oldest daughter Annabel February 24th 2020 in a crucial car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unlucky for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamenting day of my whole life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife passed away three years ago from a shocking disease, I felt devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 but God and time are indeed the best healers. Hope you’ve found peace, comfort and happiness again?
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹🌹
I’m obviously the exception. I just lost my beloved precious wife of almost 27 years, but everything she described of women’s reactions were describing me.
I am devastated, overwhelmed and go into fits of ugly crying at home alone.
I am still grieving after 17 years for my husband, but my style is much more the way she described men, eating a rotisserie chicken at the kitchen sink and denying the pain...BUT it caught up with me, I couldnt deny it forever.
Sending Peace Light and Comfort to you. ☮️❤️☀️🙏🏻. It doesn’t seem to get better.
🙇♂️🙇♀️
I am so sorry and sadden for your lost. My heart aches for those who lost loved ones. I miss my Mother, little Sister. Especially very sad as she was only 41. Lost her to a snowmobiling accident March 27, 2021.
I am sorry u are sad..I lost my husband of 41 years...my cat is still here for me..try to be your own best friend..be kind to yourself. I am going thru sadness and aloneness. I was braver when I had to be strong to take care of him...but now I feel less powerful and a little lost.
I lost my wife, the love of my life in July 2020. The stages of grief she describes are amazing! She has listed step by step what I am going through and thinking. This has helped me, I hope it help's others in my situation.
Yes your rt it has helped immensely!!
I’m so sorry for your loss too…. I lost my husband to stroke in DEC 2021. He was 59…. Such a strong handsome guy we looked like Barbie & Ken dolls. I will never meet another Todd… he was soo unique. Smart guy there wasn’t anything he couldn’t do….
@@lizforbes8022 So sorry for your loss. How long you were married?
@@lizforbes8022 you are very fortunate woman who had wonderful relationship. Treasure and thank how lucky you are to had a man who would do anything. Place him in your heart. He is with you all the time. You have not lost him.
no you are not alone !
Thank you. I know you never loose the people you love because they live in your heart but the loss of their presence is pure agony. In other words Grief. Jean Geary
My soul mate boyfriend died when he was 46(from M. S.) &I was 45,in 2011. My ex husband, died from a Sudden heart attack, in 2015..He was 56.I just turned, 49.
Our daughter was 21,when he passed away.. My mom died in 2019,72yrs old, after 4yrs of Ovarian Cancer(1/3 of her bowel gone).
I was a Special Care Aide, for 34 yrs & I also did Palliative Care for clients in their home..
So, this video was really helpful..I was 52,&Ive lost 3 main people.. From 44-52 yrs old..
Oh, dear, I am so sorry for your loss. Accept my deepest condolences. I lost my wife in 2020 to COVID, and I understand how it feels to lose those very close to us and the trauma that goes with it, I had to go for a therapy class and it help me a lot with my depression. you have to stay positive no matter what and learn to move on from your past my dear. we can be friends and can communicate more if you want. where are you viewing from?
I love u
❤❤❤❤
I like u
💑💑🌷🌷
Merry me I m alone
🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷
This also happens when your spouse asks to divorce you. I went through all these same stages. I am surprised at how long it has taken to get to the last stage of wholeness in singlehood. It's good to know that others go through these stages and that if it goes on for years it's okay.
This is an excellent point!
The longer the marriage the longer it takes to work through it. I heard as a rough guide one year for every four years married. But that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong if it takes longer or less time. Honestly I don’t think it ever goes totally away for some. You just get better at living with it. It’s part of your past.
You are so correct. Everything she said I could connect to my divorce. A loss is a loss.
Yes, some people think that grief is an experience related solely to a death, but I was hit hardest by it when my ex suddenly left after many years together and having invested the deepest trust in him. I described the process as feeling like a piece of cloth that was so strong and durable, was being viciously torn apart, thread by thread. And for me it took many years to get through the process. It was a total learning experience, and I'm glad to be able to say, a strengthening one that helps you realise your own potential and also gives you self-understanding. Things that even thinking of the effort to do, which would crush me easily then, don't even bother me now. Very painful, but peace eventually will come and joy thankfully, does return.
@@Dustandfuzz Exactly.
God Bless this brave woman she's helped me see that I am normal and not stuck in grief
Me too
What she said about your immune system weakening after a loss is true and so important.
Hi baby how are you doing now i hope you are really doing good you are awesome looking at you baby makes happy when I look at your picture it is beyond my imagination that a creature like you really exist like a rose you make the garden so beautiful You are a diamond to any man that have eyes to see goodness of a womanhood Baby am Ben easy going person very understandable Am a civil engineer and a contractor I work at so many places like Asia Europe and Africa I love art craft and I write music I like ideal people when I see your picture am impress I want a good woman that understand what real love is all about who will understand me and perfectly be for me So we can build our world strong enough to care for each other I want you to be mine and I hope to hear from you soonest thanks
Well said. My Lord is my refuge now, and I will continue running to Him when loss comes. I'm sure it won't be long, Mom is 97.
I totally agree that there is a place for denial. My mother died and I just kept telling myself she was in rehab until two months later my daughter in law died. It just slammed me down. My mom is not coming home. I am almost 60yrs. Terminal and we lived together. My husband died 4yrs ago. 3 of my dogs died, my friend died, my brother, mom and daughter There is no greater sorrow. We have to learn to live with out them or live in denial.
Hi baby how are you doing now i hope you are really doing good you are awesome looking at you baby makes happy when I look at your picture it is beyond my imagination that a creature like you really exist like a rose you make the garden so beautiful You are a diamond to any man that have eyes to see goodness of a womanhood Baby am Ben easy going person very understandable Am a civil engineer and a contractor I work at so many places like Asia Europe and Africa I love art craft and I write music I like ideal people when I see your picture am impress I want a good woman that understand what real love is all about who will understand me and perfectly be for me So we can build our world strong enough to care for each other I want you to be mine and I hope to hear from you soonest thanks
I wish that I could have known about this video in 2019. I lost my husband in April and my mother in October. I have great friends and students who still stay in touch, but nothing beats the presence of Charles and Nettie.Every one of these stages have made an appearance in my life since then. Grief is the price we pay for love.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from.?
Lost my wife 2months ago! Had 45 yrs together. This is really hard ! I recognize things she talks about!
Peace, Light and Comfort to you. My hub if 49 years died 4 months ago.
I lost my husband in 2021 and I still hurts what people don’t want to hear. We were 32 yrs and 3 months together.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from…?
Thank you so much for this video! I lost my husband after a very wonderful 58 plus years together. Living without him has been very difficult. Hearing
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
when my second husband left me after 15 years together, i felt i would die, because he was gone, but he was not dead). it took so much time and will power to come back to me, and to realize that there was a bit of life still left to experience. thankfully, my two new dogs have taught me how to cope with the loss of my soulmate, and i have become a single, silent, and very strong woman.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from,?
Lost my partner on the way home from work. He was my everything. He finally had taken the time to have our first date without the babies without a worry the day before. He worked insanely hard and he was my best friend since 14-15 years old. He was the guy in my life. I knew him longer than my own father. Who passed when I was 7. I never imagined losing Braydon. My best friend. He was the last person I ever imagined losing.
People think that only in death does this happen but that’s not true, it also can happen when they’re still alive. My husband divorced me and I feel like I died 1000 times. Yes divorce is a grieving process and in some ways it’s even worse because they chose to leave you. I also will never remarry because I don’t want to ever deal with a divorce again or someone leaving me in death.
Hello Jane..Hope you're doing good and staying safe!Merry Christmas to you...
Excellent talk! She didn’t mention how faith plays into this, but for me, it’s a major component. I lost my husband 10 months ago after almost 55 years of marriage and so far I live alone but find comfort in God’s presence as well as my faith community, neighbors, & family. I’m going to order her book.
Hi am Ben from Austin Texas
How inspiring to appreciate the thoughtful effort put into sharing this journey with others. As a widow of almost 15 years who has also faced the passing of a dear baby and extraordinary 35 year old daughter it impresses me that eventually the speaker hit most all the important points of this journey of a return to wholeness. I agree with one of the commentators that my faith has been a vibrant source of joy, strength and ongoing interest and growth in the midst of the challenges of loss. What a marvelous contribution to help others on this path. Thank you, Natasha, and thank you UCSDTV.
@@momoltd @Thy Phạm hi hi hi baby how are you doing I hope you are doing good am Ben from Austin Texas am easy going person I love good and do good am glad you are beautiful please let's get to know each other very well baby where are you located
I am Hispanic and my family culture is that grandparents are to be treasured. Of course after a life of being intentionally and lovingly present in their children's and grandchildren's lives. harvest time comes at the end. My father live with us after my mothers passing he was the one asking everyone how they were, He was the one making everyone the center of his life. I knew of his silent pain because of my mothers passing yet he channel his energy in giving himself even more. He is gone but his ways stayed with me. what do you do with all the love you still have in your heart for the person that is gone . Love the ones he loved including yourself.
Your comment is giving me some comfort. Thank you, as I do believe that it will help me choose to love others in the way that my husband did and that perhaps I can better carry on in this way.
You bring tears to my heart and soul. It’s the first time I be heard anyone speak of these things. Thank you for sharing♥️
I’m going through a double whammy (lost my husband (of 30 years) and my mom 15 months after) caregiver to both, I have the worst ptsd watching them both die my grief is diagnosed as complicated, 5 years and I’m still feeling fucking numb, angry, shocked, lost, emotional etc., your presentation so very helpful, thank you going to get your book you are a very special human being, God Bless You!
So so sorry for both of your tremendous losses. It’s okay to feel all that you are feeling. Flow with them. You don’t ever move on, you move on WITH them. You take them with you. I hope you can seek some grief therapy for your PTSD and that you have a strong support system around you. Sending you tons of love.
i came across your touching comment in the grieving of love ones post here on face book. Well am really sorry about that okay 😒☹and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday or somehow...
I lost my husband 20 years ago. I didn't know what hit me. It was unexpected. I went through all kinds of emotions. Glad to know I'm not alone. I'm a normal human being!
I came across your comment at the grief of love ones post here on CZcams. ☹️That’s so touching and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all loss our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I truly understand how you feel cos I’ve felt same unbearable experiences before but death is just inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve loss will always want to see us happy again wherever they’re. I loss my oldest daughter Annabel February 24th 2020 in a crucial car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unlucky for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamenting day of my whole life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife passed away three years ago from a shocking disease, I felt devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 but God and time are indeed the best healers. Hope you’ve found peace, comfort and happiness again?
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹🌹
I grieved for 35 yrs over my 1st marriage breakup, + suffered severe clinical depression all that time. At 63 I can now think about him without crying. Love is not an emotion that just goes away, it will always be there.
Oh, Ned, I am so sorry for your loss. Accept my deepest condolences. I lost my wife in 2020 to COVID, and I understand how it feels to lose those very close to us. where are you playing from?
Hello Kelly..Hope you're doing good and staying safe!Merry Christmas to you...
My husband of 61 years died a year ago. You are spot on! You give me hope for the future.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
Great video. I lost my mom to stage 4 cancer Dec 2021 at age 72. It was sudden. I am only 34 years old. I miss her so much, she was my best friend. The grief is so hard. I am the youngest child and it is really really tough
I am so sorry. I have gone through the exact same in June of 2021. I am the youngest and my Mom is my best friend. I believe our Moms are always with us and always will be.
I wanted to reach out to you and send you lots of love. I lost my mum in November 2021 to sepsis. She was my everything (next to my dad), and I’m the youngest of four. I’ve had to carry on with work to keep a roof over mine and my dad’s heads, feeling like I can’t even stop to reflect. I miss her so, so much.
Sending you much love and strength. I really believe your Mom is still with you just in a different way.
She is inspiring. I am finishing my doctorate at 61. I love that she shows us that age doesn't matter. We can do our best work the older we get. As far as the number of eligible bachelors dwindle as one gets older, so there are less options... well that is why younger men exist. They are more fun and have more energy.
I have so much guilt for not being supportive to my grandmother . I lived 5 hours away and spent so much time with my own stress of a turbulent relationship. I rang her rarely cause I didn't want to complain I should have and the hurt is so deep . She wasn't alone she Iived with my great grandmother and her little dogs ❤️ just wish I had shared more moments with her .
That you feel you missed out on being there and supportive for your grandmother says you are a loving thoughtful person.
Please be kind to yourself, if I see your love my guess is she did too.
Allow yourself to grieve your pain, allow yourself to know that you to are worthy to experience love.
Pray you find groups or others who will hug you…as she said very important. ❤️❤️❤️ BIG HUG
My husband of 49 years died 4 months ago. This is the best talk about grief I’ve heard. I am so thankful. Natasha’s poems are so very healing to me.
Sailing The Storms
Have you been through dark storms, have you come to the place,
Where you know you wouldn't have made it without God's amazing grace?
Like Paul, has your ship been exceedingly tossed about?
Do you feel you are sinking in the waves of fear and doubt?
Don't lose hope, my friend, because if you belong to Jesus,
He gave us His promise that He would never leave us.
Do you know He allowed those storms to draw you closer to His side?
He wants to be the Captain; with Him you can safely abide.
Just remember that other little ships are sailing right behind you,
And when they get hit hard by the storms of life,
God will help you guide them through.
K.S. McFadden
I m alone ❤❤😍😍👧👧🌷
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from?
I’m 46 years old and I lost my wife my best friend of 29 years 6 days ago and my heart is broken she was my world my everything
Hi Robert, I hope to hear it is getting better for you, as I just lost my wonderful husband of 25 years quite suddenly 8 days ago. I have faith that it will, but am gaining some solace in reading what others have to say here. Blessings to you.
This has got to be the deepest dive and real, detailed talk that reflects all the same things and feelings happening to me. This wise and wonderful woman really gets it. This video walked me through the residuals of my final stages of goodbye. First, they are right next to you, then they are a block away, and then they are across town, and then they are across the sea, and then they are gone, slowly fading from your sight. And after all that the real journey begins.
I love this lady, even though I don't know her. And you, too, are spot on.
Such is LIFE. We must learn to cherish every moment with our loved ones because we never can know when death comes knocking. where are you viewing from?
If you are still alive... i hope you get to read this. I am 56 nd you explained in every word how i am feeling. My love has been gone 1.5 yrs... Thank you & bless you
I found your video very comforting. I lost my husband last year,after 23 yrs. He was my best friend. We did everything together. Also lost my 2 Yorkies last year. I did buy me another Yorkie named Charlie. He is my emotional support dog, as I call him. He sleeps in my bed 🛌 which I was against with the other dogs. He loves snuggling up with me which makes me feel better. I can’t sleep until 4am. I lost my motivation. I was always a very happy & busy person with my husband. I love traveling. Want to travel again. Maybe go back to Kauai,Hawaii where we got married 💞 I’m still very sensitive after 8 mths. I cry every time I go to the Doctor. My husband fell and hit his head on the driveway. He had Traumatic brain injury and lived exactly 2 yrs afterwards. I was his caretaker for over 1 yr. He died in a nursing home from negligence, and the lawyers don’t want to sue. 😢 There is no justice 😡I am the oldest of 6 children. I’m pretty independent and can handle the finances and so on. I live in a 55+ community. I have been isolated for almost 3 yrs taking care of my husband, always in the ER, hospital and Nursing homes. I’m
exhausted 😩
I did make some of my own funeral arrangements recently. Need to take care of changing my Will. Hopefully before I die. Wanted my sister to come to me right after my husband died. She didn’t want to, which hurt me very deeply, since we were always very close. We moved here with our mother from Germany 🇩🇪 in 1972. My mom passed away from ALS over 20 yrs ago at age 61. I never felt so alone 😢
Hello 👋 how are you doing?
@@Godwinpounds4333 hi I’m doing a little better. It depends on the day
@@lindagerlinger9058I understand how you feel just have to be strong. I’m a widower lost my late wife 7 years ago. I would really love to know more about you if you don’t mind?
@@Godwinpounds4333 :-)
Lost my husband of 60years it’s been six years he’s gone I still cry uncontrollably for him. I can’t bring him back I’ve read books and listen to people but nothing helps I know how hard it is and how people like me are trying to get through everyday it’s one big battle I know we are not alone
Oh, Theresa, I am so sorry for your loss. Accept my deepest condolences. I lost my wife in 2020 to COVID, and I understand how it feels to lose those very close to us and the trauma that goes with it, I had to go for a therapy class and it help me a lot with my depression. you have to stay positive no matter what and learn to move on from your past my dear. we can be friends and can communicate more if you want. where are you viewing from?
Hello ..Hope you're doing good and staying safe!Merry Christmas to you...
60 Years of love and togetherness. You are blessed.
I miss my wife of 44 years ! I was honored to be her care giver for her 10 year fight against cancer ♋️
I was so blessed to have a beautiful loving wife .
Have to add that some men do cry and can’t ever be as happy again after losing a child, even decades afterward. Personality also has something to do with it, as well as resilience . Men and women can have both masculine and feminine qualities. Men can be sensitive, women can be assertive , fill in the blank ,etc.
Im going to listen to this a few times There are too many amazing healing nuggets , she gets it So spot on So much empathy
going through a breakup of a relationship is the same thing. the death of a pet is the same thing. even losing your job is the same thing. It's so final. it's the loss of something in your life and it takes a part of your soul with it. people say hardship makes you stronger. In my opinion, it makes you a hollow shell and it makes you weaker.
I lost my partner 10 weeks ago. The stress of keeping the house and business going has gotten tangled up with the grief. Every time I put a fire out the relief is very very brief and the pain becomes
so intense that I can’t breathe. But I have made sure to take care of myself to honor him - I eat, sleep, bathe, meditate, comb my hair without joy but at least I’m not making things worse or harder. I don’t believe it will ever get better though… I can’t call him and tell him how much I love him or about what the dog did or ask him what we need from the store.
She nails it. Just yesterday I said out loud to myself “how am I not dropping dead from this pain?”
Sorry for your loss. Wish I could give you a hug!💗
Jen, as one who has experienced very severe grief in the past (which took many years for me to come through), I want to advise you to talk with a skilled grief counsellor if there is one close to you. You are in the earliest stages of grief and I know what a shock and confusing, painful time it can be. Take courage, please, and know it will get better, (you will have doubts that it will possibly many times during this 'journey', but it DOES get easier with time, and you WILL be happy again) - however each of us has to do this in whatever time it takes, individually.
There are lots of pain we experience but nothing is like this-NOTHING!
@@francie1953 yes.
I now believe there are “worse” kinds of loss (a child, a violent death, homicide)but the grief caused by losing a life partner is so deeply singular (I.e only we know specific, intimate things/tendencies/parts of our loved one) that it automatically isolates us. The only person I could unburden myself with is the person I am mourning.
I’m sorry you are also part of this grief club.
Two years ago I lost my husband to pancreatic cancer. After 32 years together he was gone and I didn’t know where to turn. Thank you for bringing some clarity to the continued jumble in my spirit. I’m ok one minute and a soggy mess the next. I will return to your down to earth guidance again and again. Blessings to you.
I came across your comment at the grief of love ones post here on CZcams. ☹️That’s so touching and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all loss our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I truly understand how you feel cos I’ve felt same unbearable experiences before but death is just inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve loss will always want to see us happy again wherever they’re. I loss my oldest daughter Annabel February 24th 2020 in a crucial car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unlucky for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamenting day of my whole life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife passed away three years ago from a shocking disease, I felt devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 but God and time are indeed the best healers. Hope you’ve found peace, comfort and happiness again?
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹🌹
I’ve been a widow for 7 yrs . I went through most of these steps , but today I was able to I was able to share with two friends that have recently lost their husband . Thankyou ❤️🇨🇦
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
This is a wise woman! Very helpful and I’ve been a widow for 22 years with a failed 2nd marriage after 40 years with one special man!
I came across your comment at the grief of love ones post here on CZcams. ☹️That’s so touching and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all loss our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I truly understand how you feel cos I’ve felt same unbearable experiences before but death is just inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve loss will always want to see us happy again wherever they’re. I loss my oldest daughter Annabel February 24th 2020 in a crucial car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unlucky for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamenting day of my whole life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife passed away three years ago from a shocking disease, I felt devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 but God and time are indeed the best healers. Hope you’ve found peace, comfort and happiness again?
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay.
I love this lady! She really gets it!! I have never heard such a touching talk on losing someone you love. She is so intelligent and compassionate. Thank you so much for sharing with us..May God bless you àbundantly.
Don't listen to other people.... One of the most valuable lessons I learnt.
My husband of 46 years died of a heart attack 8 months ago at home. It was unexpected and I am heartbroken. We were 18 and 23 when we married. Farming and raising our children on the family farm we worked together side by side everyday. My 43 year old son and I are making a go of it, but my son worked side by side with his dad until the day he died. Grief is exhausting. I miss him more everyday.
Similar here. Husband died in front of me of heart attack July 2018. We were 22 and 28 when we met. He died just before his 60th birthday. I adored him and the grief journey is agony.
@@sonyavincent7450 You are in my prayers. We were close and we own and operate his family's century farm. My son is sixth generation and my grandson will be seventh. Loren is buried in our township cemetery next to my son's home and less than 1/4 mile from the century farm. Grief is real and having our husband's die at home and we can not save them is a burden of guilt. I will hold you up in prayer and God comfort you and give you His Peace. We were blessed with great husbands. God's blessing be upon you. My husband was 69.
@@rhondavanzante5682 thankyou. It sounds like you live in the states. I'm in New Zealand 🇳🇿 and my husband was from Northern England and had just moved out here to start work for another company. We met at a party and I knew by the end of the night he was the one. We never had children, never felt the need. He was called Alan. I have his ashes here.
From my experience, the pain softens considerably after the one year mark. But of course everyone is different
Thankyou for the prayers..may you also find peace on your journey.
@@sonyavincent7450 Thank you. I was16 when we had a blind date, Loren was 21. We were married 2 years later after my 18th birthday. I grew up in a small town and he was a farm boy. We were married 46 years. I learned a lot about farming and livestock. I live in Iowa. It was a good place to raise our 2 children. Now my grandchildren are raised here and my family is 3 miles from me. It's good to have them close. We are a close family and I think it's because we work together daily and our faith is deep. We have been called to be stewart's of this little corner of the world and so grateful that we have a part in feeding the world. God is absolutely good. Blessings and love to each of you whose loved one has moved into heaven. We will meet again in Gloryland.
Oh, Rhonda, I am so sorry for your loss. Accept my deepest condolences. I lost my wife in 2020 to COVID, and I understand how it feels to lose those very close to us and the trauma that goes with it, I had to go for a therapy class and it help me a lot with my depression. you have to stay positive no matter what and learn to move on from your past my dear. we can be friends and can communicate more if you want. where are you viewing from?
This lovely lady has totally understood and described how I feel after losing my husband 4 months ago. I so hope I can go through all the stages of grief and come out the other side still eventually find happiness & purpose again in my life.
i came across your touching comment in the grieving of love ones post here on face book. Well am really sorry about that okay 😒☹and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday or somehow...
Her poems are insightful and honest. I am a songwriter and have written about my own loss and grief. Songs and poems are lighthouses for grieving people. Peace to you all on your own journey through grief.
I lost my husband last March 21, 2021 and have gone through every thing in your talk and thank you for just reinforcing the fact that I am normal in my “abnormal” grief. I used to call it profound sadness. I will look for your book as I think it’s the best book to turn to when you feel you are having a grief relapse. Thank you .
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from.?
My husband has been gone for 12 years and I definitely went through ‘complicated grief’, for which I sought counselling. Thank you for this wise talk. It has helped me even after all these years.
A year and a half ago my 4th son, because of his mentally unstable girlfriend, now mother of his first child, my first granddaughter, became estranged from me because of this woman’s covert narcissistic, schizophrenic personality. Sadly, this same woman who came into my sons life out of nowhere, turned my ONLY daughter and my youngest of 6 children against me also.
They have chosen not to be in my life for the past 19 heart wrenching months with no reconciliation in sight. This is a grief, double whammy as you stated, beyond any pain Ive ever endured and continue to endure. I’ve done it all. Plead, begged, bargained, got angry, suicidal, started drinking again after 25 years of abstinence. In this time frame, my son Luke became a father for the first time at age 31. I missed all of that. My only granddaughter, after having 5 sons is 1 years old. I’ve missed everything with her first year. My only daughter became pregnant, gave birth to her first child, he is now 10 months old. I’ve never seen or held either one of my precious grandbabies. This is grief beyond any pain I’ve ever endured in my lifetime. And I’ve endured being married to a alcoholic who left me alone with 3 small sons and married my best friend. And more.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this lecture. Although I haven’t lost a husband, at 63 years young, I’ve lost 2 of my young adult children. They didn’t die. They are still living. But they have abandoned the loving, close mother child relationship I had with them for 30 years.
Hello Tammy..Hope you're doing good and staying safe!Merry Christmas to you...
I completely understand since I also have a daughter in law exactly like you described. My husband and I cried many times over her tactics to alienate us from our only son & our 2 grandchildren. We did nothing wrong, according to our therapist. We simply are her current victims to pick on constantly.
My husband passed 2 years & 3 months ago from COVID. She put on quite the show at the funeral dinner. Real loving in front of others, asking me to spend the night with them etc. I refused. My son is blindly in love with her & goes along with whatever her demands are to keep the peace at home.
I have never felt so alone in my life. I do get to see my grandchildren but it is very limited to only their birthdays & holidays & then I have to share the children with her family of 20 or so others. She has ruined our retirement years since we looked so forward to spending time with the little ones etc. Also she has convinced my son that God does not exist! This has all been so deeply painful, as you well know.
I pray for her recovery & for me to be able to cope with this huge loss of my son 2 grandchildren & now my rock, my ❤, my husband!
Really terrible and sad, know of a family whose daughter was murdered by her husband, the man and his family took their only grandson and turned him against them and his own mother, when he was about to be arrested he tried to commit suicide and tried to take their grandson with. He was stopped, but the damage was done and the child stayed with that family. The only way out, I can think, is to send them love, you can still love them & imagine that each soul has their own path they will take, somehow they will sense your presence- one day all that love will pour over you, more than you can imagine possible. Sending you love and healing
This is an older video but I'm so glad I found it. I wanted to listen to someone who seemed wiser and had experience on the topic of grief. I'm very thankful to the University of California for posting this.
I am 64 years old. My husband passed away unexpectedly when I was 49. I have been a widow for 14 years now. Would never get married again
Divorced 20 years ago, he's remarried and I haven't. My quality of life and finances has gone down, his has gone up. The loneliness is horrible and I can't get up in the morning. This is *twenty years* ago. I have wonderful children but I can't burden them with this, and friends don't want to hear it. Wish I had tried harder, but I tried as hard as I could.
Ive found Not focusing on how they are doing and focusing on what you are doing gives you a whole differerent and happier perspective x
I feel your pain…my first husband wanted a divorce instead of working on things…we were high school sweethearts and so in love…I still don’t understand what happened to our love…he remarried and had 3 girls with the woman after me…the life I had wanted became someone else’s. I remarried 6 years later but it didn’t last. Then I suffered an abusive relationship for 10 years…all along the only man for me was my first husband…I learned to just pour my love into my dogs over the last 20 years…but now my last dog left this world two weeks ago and I just don’t even want to go on anymore😢
@@ModernGoddess81 I'm so sorry. Big hugs 💙💙💙
I have paid for my funeral, will in place, love of my life (28 years married) was killed truck driver was driving a box truck fell asleep killed him his 3 friends survived going on a fishing trip, I had a stroke when state patrol came to our home, have had 3 more strokes, tears on my pillow. Time does not heal, you cope but for me never healed.
I truly enjoyed this video
I love you! You're so right about everything! My pain is so real after losing my husband the day after Easter. It hurts so much!
My beloved son also passed-away the day after Easter. He left behind 3 little sons, He was only 23 years old,
Oh, Michelle, I am so sorry for your loss. I understand how it feels to lose a loved one after losing my late wife to COVID in 2020. I have been lonely and depressed, I had to attend a therapy class and I feel much better now.
Hello
Dr.Natasha Josefowitz is wonderful speaker, writer and person, May God bless her always.
It is untrue that the Hebrews in Abraham's time stoned one who mourned for more than one year!!!
This is a wonderful presentation on grief … I lost my husband 3 years ago, and I’ve been living through all of these stages …married him at 18 , he was 25 , so we literally spent our wholes together…then cancer struck and he was gone in less than 6 months …. No one understands this until you’re in the midst of it yourself….I’ve done and accomplished things around the house and in my life that I would have thought I couldn’t do….everyone says how well I’m doing and how strong I am….although that may be true, they just don’t know the grief or the feeling of loneliness… my family and friends have been supportive and just wonderful…and I’m so thankful for that ….but I’ll miss him always ❤️
I came across your comment at the grief of love ones post here on CZcams. ☹️That’s so touching and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all loss our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I truly understand how you feel cos I’ve felt same unbearable experiences before but death is just inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve loss will always want to see us happy again wherever they’re. I loss my oldest daughter Annabel February 24th 2020 in a crucial car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unlucky for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamenting day of my whole life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife passed away three years ago from a shocking disease, I felt devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 but God and time are indeed the best healers. Hope you’ve found peace, comfort and happiness again?
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹🌹
Very eloquent, and what a bullseye. I lost my husband of 33 years 7 months ago, suddenly, very unexpectedly. This loss, the loss of my best friend, knocked me to my knees. I’m still trying to get up. I’ve been in a grief group. It helps some. I simply cannot believe it still.
I am so sorry. I am going through the sudden and unexpected loss of my husband / best friend too. It feels like someone dropped an atomic bomb on your world and blew it apart. I can't believe it either... it's just ... it doesn't even seem real that my baby is gone.
@@WeepingWidowSueAna I’m so sorry for your loss. There’s nothing like it, that I’ve experienced. 🙏😢
@@southernborn1358 I agree. Never ever experienced pain of this magnitude before. It takes your breath away and just feels like you're waiting to die. It's awful.
What a wonderful speaker and educator you are.A delightful balance of whit,humor and facts.Please continue with your work.If you were my mother I would be so proud.Sending you a kiss and hug! Keep up the good work and continue being a great role model.From Michigan🙂
Hello Dear
How are you doing today?
I loved this video. I am in my 50's, lost my parents, am an only child, am female. I think her study of how ppl process grief & loss is very accurate. I
I love u
❤❤
I like u
😍😍
I m alone
Hi baby how are you doing now i hope you are really doing good you are awesome looking at you baby makes happy when I look at your picture it is beyond my imagination that a creature like you really exist like a rose you make the garden so beautiful You are a diamond to any man that have eyes to see goodness of a womanhood Baby am Ben easy going person very understandable Am a civil engineer and a contractor I work at so many places like Asia Europe and Africa I love art craft and I write music I like ideal people when I see your picture am impress I want a good woman that understand what real love is all about who will understand me and perfectly be for me So we can build our world strong enough to care for each other I want you to be mine and I hope to hear from you soonest thanks
I lost my husband of almost 52 years 4 months ago and I am devastated. Everything you spoke I keep feeling again and again except the moving on part. I miss him so much I'm barely functioning. Thank you for your Insight and I ask Jesus to please help me.
I came across your comment at the grief of love ones post here on CZcams. ☹️That’s so touching and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all loss our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I truly understand how you feel cos I’ve felt same unbearable experiences before but death is just inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve loss will always want to see us happy again wherever they’re. I loss my oldest daughter Annabel February 24th 2020 in a crucial car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unlucky for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamenting day of my whole life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife passed away three years ago from a shocking disease, I felt devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 but God and time are indeed the best healers. Hope you’ve found peace, comfort and happiness again?
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹🌹
Everything she felt I’m going through exactly. My husband died 5 weeks ago . God takes care of the Widows
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
I loss my husband of almost 30 years in 2019. Six months later I loss my mom. She was 96 years old. One of the main things that has helped me is the belief that love never dies. I talk to them everyday. I ask them to send me signals and they never disappoint. I feel their presence everyday.
I came across your comment at the grief of love ones post here on CZcams. ☹️That’s so touching and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all loss our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I truly understand how you feel cos I’ve felt same unbearable experiences before but death is just inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve loss will always want to see us happy again wherever they’re. I loss my oldest daughter Annabel February 24th 2020 in a crucial car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unlucky for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamenting day of my whole life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife passed away three years ago from a shocking disease, I felt devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 but God and time are indeed the best healers. Hope you’ve found peace, comfort and happiness again?
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹🌹
my only child has been gone 20 years ,I go out in the world ect,it never gets better. My husband and I trudge on now retired doing none of the things we planned for retirement. we lean on each other, swans , never to seek another relationship ever because of what we have shared . Thank you you are amazing.
I lost my darling husband on the 30th April. For the first month I was completely numb. Now the pain is a constant companion, the price for loving someone.
I m alone
I like u
👧👧😍😍❤🌷🌷
I came across your comment at the grief of love ones post here on CZcams. ☹️That’s so touching and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all loss our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I truly understand how you feel cos I’ve felt same unbearable experiences before but death is just inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve loss will always want to see us happy again wherever they’re. I loss my oldest daughter Annabel February 24th 2020 in a crucial car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unlucky for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamenting day of my whole life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife passed away three years ago from a shocking disease, I felt devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 but God and time are indeed the best healers. Hope you’ve found peace, comfort and happiness again?
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay.
Wonderfully insightful. Can be applied to divorce and any other loss of a loved one. Thank you so much.
Hello Victoria
How are you doing today?