Here's How to Deal with POCD Uncertainty
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- čas přidán 21. 05. 2021
- Patrick McGrath, Jamie Kwon and Bonnie Grossman discuss the difficulty of dealing with uncertainty around the OCD subtype of POCD.
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At this point I’m pretty sure I have every single OCD
i appreciated how you guys made this video about accepting uncertainty in general, but how can i accept uncertainty about something as unacceptable as being a pedophile? i know i have to, but it doesn’t seem clear to me how to, or even why i should morally. this is a very difficult OCD concern because it is hard not to equate accepting uncertainty about being a pedophile with accepting being a pedophile, although they are different. it is the same as how worrying about possibly being a pedophile is different than being a pedophile. of course, it is a waste of time to worry about possibly being something that you almost definitely are not, no matter how bad it is. however, even the slightest possibility that i could be a pedophile is enough to send me back to square one. how can i accept the possibility of being something so unacceptable?
I am going through the same thing it's definitely way too scary sometimes I don't even know whether it's OCD or not but I guess what u can do is try to live for me the OCD is just a word echoing in my head and I know if I paid or gave it slightly attention it would chew and cut me alive it's definetly very hard I am trying mindfullness
Before getting or diagnosing with this OCD I had dreams of raising a child and having a beautiful wife
I’m with you. Living in uncertainty with POCD is tough for me as well
I’m 27 and have had this for 3 years now. I’m afraid i will never get married because every trigger i get, even simply hearing a number of someones age below 19 makes my heart start racing. If there is eye contact its even worse. My girlfriend noticed and i got terrified she would think i was a pedo. This is ruining my life
Hey buddy, remember, you arent your thoughts. Theyre a symptom of just being alive and human. I struggle w harm ocd. Its better but its hard to explain to anyone without sounding crazy. But, I know how it is. You probably find dating younger people to be gross and abhorrent. But, you fixate on it bc you hate the idea. It feels so real but its not. That thought has no power. Its just like a fart in the wind or a cloud passing over head. I honestly believe us OCD sufferers are some of the strongest people out there. And, you are no exception. You are just as strong as the rest of us.
I think i might have POCD, I'm scared i might be a pedo, but i don't have that many intrusive thoughts, i just look and i feel my insides and face gettin hot, while my heartbeat gets faster, i still have intrusive thougts but they feel forced, is this still POCD?
It has been 3 years since the height of my POCD, and I’m in a better place now than I’ve ever been in my life. Sharing my story here in case it’s helpful to anyone-
I am a 27 year old cis male who identifies as gay or queer, having always been attracted to men and more masculine-appearing nonbinary people. My POCD has followed suit, with the focus being boys, and I have no history of being sexually abused.
I don’t know when my POCD began. I’ve had it as long as I can remember, which used to scare me because people in these forums can usually point to a specific incident or time when it started. I’ve also dealt with many other forms of OCD and related issues since childhood, such as the need for things to feel “just right”, intrusive thoughts, perfectionism, and more.
Back then, and to this day, I find myself aesthetically drawn to certain people. I have always had a sense of what is nice looking to me, in any gender and any age, but especially men/boys. This really messed with my head as I got older, because I would mistakenly believe that appreciation meant sexual attraction.
It got really bad in late 2019 and early 2020. I was spending hours upon hours each day researching, ruminating, testing myself, even coming up with hypothetical scenarios to see how my body and mind would react.
One interesting aspect of my POCD is that I was never worried about doing something harmful. I knew for a fact I would never have sexual contact with a child, and even if I suddenly developed the desire to, I knew my values were strong enough to deter me.
Rather, the anxiety behind my POCD centered on having an attraction to minors in the first place- what it said about me as a person, the rejection it might bring, the implications for my life, etc.
Whenever I considered seeing an OCD specialist, I would think “Aren’t they biased? Aren’t they going to assume I have POCD even if I don’t?” What I believe now is that everyone is biased, OCD specialist or not, but mental health providers who aren’t trained in OCD are extremely biased to believe someone is a MAP when they aren’t.
In July of 2021, I started an anti-anxiety medication (escitalopram) for the first time in my life. It was absolutely life changing for my social anxiety and helped a decent amount with my OCD as well. About 6 months later in January 2022, I started seeing a therapist who specializes in OCD.
Two years later, I still don’t have a definitive answer as to whether I’m attracted to minors or not, and that no longer bothers me. I accept the fact that it could be true, and go about my life as usual.
I still have groinal responses sometimes, but they no longer mean anything to me. For example, I’ve had a groinal response to a picture of an anthropomorphized dog before, and I know I’m not sexually attracted to dogs. I understand now that it’s not as black and white as it once felt.
I still find some kids good looking aesthetically, but that no longer makes me feel like a monster. I have no sexual desire toward children, and I genuinely feel like if that desire developed, I’d be okay- I would find a way to cope with it.
Medication and therapy are not for everyone, but they were instrumental for me in reaching the place I am today. The other major factor, I believe, was learning more about the MAP community and trying to empathize with rather than distance myself from MAPs.
In societies all around the world, and even in these forums, MAPs are so often vilified and mischaracterized. I have come to embrace the fact that thoughts and feelings do not equate to behavior, and that what defines someone’s character is their actions, not something internal. “MAP” and “Pedophile” are not synonymous with child abuser.
With all of that said, my two recommendations would be:
1. Find a mental health provider who specializes in OCD and is familiar with POCD
2. Give yourself permission to let this be the end of your research for today. It doesn’t have to be your last time ever, but I encourage you to take a break and go do something that brings you fulfillment
Please feel free to email me for the long version or for support in general- connor8752@yahoo.com
the way you worded it makes it seem like people with POCD should be ok with the possibility that they are sexually attracted to minors, when none of us can accept that. POCD Isn't a theme that most people understandably would be ok with living out being it's true, let alone if you have POCD, HOCD, SO-OCD you're not actually those things, and I know there's an argument that Gay people can have HOCD hypothetically, but I don't buy into it, why would a gay man be scared of being attracted to men sexually? Why would a pedophile be scared of being attracted to kids sexually? None of these things line up, with OCD you must not accept the possibility of being a pedophile, because that's not a genuine possibility, accept that you have these intrusive thoughts and label them as intrusive and as an OCD thought and separate them from your character.
Hello so sorry I know this isn't the topic but I have OCD contamination, How do I stop living in fear of touching objects. I'm afraid of touching groceries and feel dirty when I go to the stores.
@andrea Salazar go to the NOCD app and find a councellor
@@michaelzutz6823 wish I could they don't except my insurance.
@@andreasalazar2121 you can go to find a counselor who specializes in OCD in your area, and if you are clever enough, which I bet you are not, you can work with the NOCD app on your own. 😉
@@michaelzutz6823 are you saying I'm not smart. How rude.
Go touch it..let the anxiety consume you do not react to it it's okay to feel uncomfortable..after your anxiety gets super high,it come down and you feel a bit at ease.this takes time and practise all the best!♡♡
I wish I could get this service.
dude me too man
They are so expensive 😢
I'm sorry, but POCD uncertainty =/= Contamination ocd uncertainty