What is False Attraction and Why It Happens
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- čas přidán 23. 07. 2024
- Do you fear that you're attracted to someone or something that you shouldn't?
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The obsessing and checking has now blocked my normal responses, and I'm not feeling them. That's reinforcing my the beliefs in my mind and making me worry I'll never get my responses back, that this is always going to be me. Makes me feel crazy.
this is exactly what is happening to me and it makes me feel like i can’t tell what’s real or not. it’s so awful. you’re not alone.
same boat, its terrible. 🫂
I've been suffering from HOCD over for a year now, and its been pure hell. Constant arousal, checking, porn addiction, and false attraction got me doubting if this is HOCD to begin with. It gotten so bad that I really thought I was gay, and was thinking on how to come out to my family. Its been crazy and pure chaos that even I can't take it anymore. I don't know what's the difference to reality and to imagination when it comes to my sexuality, and I just want it to stop.
I’m with you too 😢 I’m just so over it atm that I don’t feel nothing but numbness and just let these thoughts get to me so I just suck on my bed till I’m tired of laying on my bed. Which I’m pretty sure it’s depression. But still I’m tired of all of this.
I’ve been suffering for just over 7 weeks now. It went away for a week but came back stronger than ever. It made me think that I was lying to myself in the week where it went away. I’m so tired of it now. My attraction to girls hasn’t come back since I first got the thought of being gay. And that’s the main reason why I’m starting to get worried
@@bentucker9389 you good now bro
@@wengadeeaider7362 a lot better it’s not on my mind all the time now. The thoughts come and go. Some days can be worse than others. Something that helped me was just to take each day as it comes and think one day I’ll laugh at it.
For all the guys who commented here, i really would advise you committing to some sort of ERP. It will CHANGE your life. Go to Cbt therapy and take this leap. Also Ocdmindful on youtube has some great stuff.
More than anything, I struggle with relationship OCD the most. This video definitely rings true for me. Side note: the first thought that came to me when I saw this video pop up, “I’m (maybe) falsely attracted to my wife”. So that was fun! 😅
Exactly same for me.
That panicked me I was scared to open the video.
Omg same same same
Same
bruuuhhhh same 🤦🏿♂️
The difference is that you enjoy the feelings with her but these intrusive feelings doesnt make u feel good about it cause they go against your values. I'm struggling with them too but we'll get through it. Hope I helped.
“live your life. that’s not your job” love that. so important for people to catch breaks.
I desperately want to get professionally checked for OCD but none of my family will take me seriously. These videos help me so much and make me feel seen with the things I struggle with.
Same I’m only 15 and my folks won’t understand nor take me serious enough to pay, if I still have the thoughts by the time I’m 18 I’ll definitely see a professional
@@djprunty5750 same It’s weird I struggle with younger and older and people would say I’m beyond weird weird or a threat
@@josho_reacts2.0 ye
Same. I’m really scared and worried all my friends and family will hate me for it and think I’m messed up.
Same bro, I told my Dad that I have overwhelming HOCD, but he won’t listen to me and says I want to be diagnosed as a ‘psychopath’. It’s a bit depressing knowing that I can’t even turn to my own father for support.
You are saving lives my friend. Thank you for everything you do!
One thing that’s really helped me is “either way I deserve help” I got to the point I accept it could be more than just ocd and that it doesn’t determine my future anyways.
Thankyou so much for your videos. They are really useful. This is the first time I have seen someone give actual solutions to OCD problems. 🙏❤️🙂
Tears in my eyes. Thank you so much..
Very useful video.
I wanted to ask if you think that, in addition to "arousal non-concordance", the phenomenon of "misattribution of arousal" might play a role in false attraction.
So, it's not just that sexual thoughts about a person causes reflexive arousal, which the brain worries might be attraction. It's also just that the constant panic and anxiety of OCD causes "arousal", understood broadly as heightened awareness and readiness, which the brain mistakes for sexual arousal, which it then believes means attraction.
I say this bc I've suffered with POCD, and never really got the groinal response many people do. It was just that seeing children caused instant panic and fear at the thought "what if I'm attracted?" - it caused the bodily response of tightness in the chest and tension in my body, like a fight or flight response. And I leapt to the conclusion that this must be butterflies in the stomach-type nervousness, hence attraction.
I ask bc there's a lot of writing about arousal non-concordance, but none about misattribution of arousal, though I think the latter is also relevant.
I'm just so scareddd pls help me. Do i have butterflys or no because i feel something in my stomach and im just so scared. Can hocd do that? Ex: when that pperson touches me or smth. I feel that. But i know I don't want to be with that person
Your channel gives me hope.....I have tics and ocd .....and your channel helped me a lot
You are Amazing, thank you for your content! I left your video with all smiles, that to me means I got good life tips to take with me.
Wow, thank you! I'm a smily guy! I'm glad it left you with smiles too!
Thank you so much for this,this means a lot to so many, for once I feel seen and to know that I’m not the only one is a huge relief. God bless you 🙏
'nothing has to mean anything unless you put meaning to it' is fantastic advice. I'm wondering if you're familiar with postmodernism as this epitomises the philosophy
Thank you so much for this video. I didn't know about it but I needed.
nate thank you for these videos. i finally feel so understood :’)
As always, so helpful!!
I just got into a relationship and I've been dealing with this. The timing of this video makes me question if life is a simulation. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't! I'm going to live life like it isn't one.
This video has come at the perfect timing! My partner has been experiencing things like this and it's been difficult knowing what to do and how to help him navigate it. As always, thank you for your videos!
Did he overcome this?
Thank you so much for this. I freak out about this stuff constantly and feel like a terrible person.
are you better now?
I hate when it's mixed with unwanted arousal. It's like False attraction + unwanted arousal + intrusive urge that feels like I want to feel this or like thi, kind of like False liking 😔
How can you fix this
@@Akiodioby living with the uncertainty. Facing the fear of it, ad when you stop caring about these thoughts and move in with your life and accept them everything and when you’d too caring. Everything will o back to normal and the thoughts will leave
Try the OCD online program for FREE to help you fight this! - www.ocd-anxiety.com/program
I wanna just let it happen so that it can dissapear but it feels way too strong. I'm suffering from HOCD and POCD and I can't even be around my father and little brother anymore without feeling unconfortable, thight throat and groins. I fear that I'm gonna lose myself and do something stupid. I just want it to stop but it isn't stopping I don't want it to be true I was always a straight man. Somebody please help me I want the torment to end and be able to sit with my father and brother in peace again.
It’s ok! Please please please know you are not bad ok. You are amazing, and you can get through it. It may feel impossible. I know it feels like torture but you are so strong. I really want all the best for you. It’s a horrible way to live. Just know you are so much more than your thoughts. No matter what you think. You know deep down in your heart you are good. Please know you are. ♥️
OCD is pure HELL. but finding these vids online truly is life saving and comments of other ppl with the same struggles
Same, I hate this. Whenever I’m talking to my father, I get uncomfortable and nervous because I don’t want to feel false attraction, and then of course I get a tight feeling in my chest. To avoid this I’ve developed a strategy; I’ll just think of an attractive girl to feel real attraction which takes my mind off everything else happening.
@@BigBoy-hy4vh SAME! I thought I was the only one😭
@@Shutyourmouth20 Yeah I think thinking about the girl thing might be a compulsion.
I don’t feel like enough people mention how for HOCD you may actually feel like you are attracted or find a thought pleasurable, some HOCD pages even say that HOCD are thoughts that you find unpleasant but it can also feel like you do find pleasure in them as I’ve heard some people say. Is what I have said true, that you may not find the HOCD thoughts, attractions and sensations unpleasant?
If you can learn to apply ERP successfully, by allowing thoughts and feelings to stay, and without trying to avoid or resist them at all, you’re home free.
@monty Smith yes 100%. Thats the backdoor for your OCD to get you into uncertainty wether the thoughts are real sexual orientation or just OCD. A trick of your mind to deceive you.
The thoughts cause me to be aroused and after I’ve acted on them I hate the thoughts again. I’ve been suffering for 7 weeks now but I’m really starting to think I’m gay but it still doesn’t feel right. I feel like I’m lying saying I’m straight but also that I’m lying if im gay
I have pocd and I feel like I actually am attracted and want the thoughts about ch1ldren but sometimes I’m convinced I’m really not then a new feeling or thought will pop then I’m doomed again
Sav J I hope you are ok. It is one thing to have hocd because really if someone is gay it doesn't actually matter to society it is just the individuals internal shame and fear but pocd clearly isn't ok to accept so it must bring so much shame and confusion and be really frightening. You are so brave for reaching out on here. Stay strong. Healing embodied on you tube may help as it intrigrates the body and nervous system as well as the mind.
Thanks I needed to see this
I really needed to see this Video.
Hey Nate, in this video you talked a little about ROCD. This is definitely my subtype, and I am lucky enough to be in treatment for it. That being said, I would be curious to hear your thoughts on how someone with ROCD can still have effective ERP, while also still finding ways to build positive images of their spouse and build their relationship. Thanks!
You still have this thoughs???
Thank you❤️
I dont know what to say, but this helped soo much!
Life just isn’t going good right now, it seems like all of the exposures that i did was in vain because i feel scared now, the false attraction is so crazy right now, like never before. My mind keeps telling me “what if you had a bf” or “what if a boy was next to you” or something like that and it’s killing me because it’s making me feel so confused and uncomfortable. It really feels like im changing and trying to differentiate real attractions from false attractions is impossible now. It’s really starting to feel like i want the thoughts, that i want them to be true when i don’t. I just can’t keep dealing like this, everytime i go out in public or whenever i see a remotely attractive guy my brain immediately starts to picture him in ways that i don’t like, i don’t want to date men, i don’t want anything to do with another man at all. It’s all just feeling so real now, and i don’t know what to do now at this point.
look man everything will be fine,check out Ali Greymond on yt,shes a professional OCD doctor!
How are you now?...PLEASE REPLY 🙏
This is literally me just different thoughts, I never even knew this existed
This is me
Classic HOCD.. stick to your values 100% just for get close to god. Honestly prey and prey and prey and prey all day everyday let him hear you. He will free you from this.
Not gonna lie stuff like this I believe is 90% spiritual.
I get it. It’s a disorder. But GOD WOULD NOT want this for you or for people going through this it attacks your identity and who you are ! Do not be fooled.
This is from the enemy do not walk with the enemy and believe his lies. U got this
Your video made me notice problems in my head. I’m going to go to sleep now.
Maybe, maybe not 😮💨 that’s what I keep telling myself and take BIG DEEP breathers but it’s so strong that I catch myself falling off here and there and I hate it because I’m trying to do all this as much as possible as I can but my anxiety it’s just not letting me.
The things that I enjoyed doing to get my mind off of things don’t satisfy me whatsoever which it accumulates more and more that’s where I end up failing and try to search for reassurance 😞.
I can I understand i am going through same thing my exams are there in 4 days almost no study I get head ache if i think so much also my head became numb
Hope god help both of us 😔
Bro One day we both will be oke I will get good wife god se+ like you will get wife/husband don't know your gender so
Trust god everything will be ok i can understand you
@@Needle-Point i am also suffering from this ,I hope we all get well soon,it is disgusting that we are facing a problem which exist in our brain
Hi. When will there be a new Q&a?
False attraction without anxiety is the worst! My thoughts hit but there is no anxiety - definitely feels like a backdoor spike. I think it’s definitely HOCDs attempts to pull me back but eh, I won’t give in. I have thoughts for my same sex bestie about kissing her and that I love her - feels real bc there’s no anxiety but I try to let it the thought go.
I'm exactly the same at the moment
Same, im having these thoughts but i have no anxiety. My lips got dry and it feels like i wanna act on them but i know i don't. Im so scared
How's it now I'm in the same position and doubt myself that is to true or I'm just laying to myself PLEASE REPLY
@@thelife_ofkhushi just pray to God. Jesus will Save you ❤️
@@moonchild8307 are you still dealing with it cause it feels I'm bi but I never ever felt like this I don't even want to feel this way in future but it's like there's no hope and I have to accept it which I just can't
When ever I see a guy it really takes the word attractive to literal,my brain the first thing that comes to my mind that if someone is attractive or not even if a little it triggers me and even if I’am not attracted to them my Brain keeps on thinking that they are when I don’t want that
Cause that makes me think I’am gay.
Thanks I needed this
I got this with almost every body of a man i see . Never had this before . Also on the Streets every second man i see it feels like lf i find him attractive compared with anxiety . Its a weird feeling i cant describe . If i start breathing different (slower) the anxiety starts to get a little bit lower and the false attraction will also be lower in this moment . Maybe this information will help someone and you want to try it :)
*I mean along with anxiety, not compared
Facts bro it’s like I look him in the face and like my body and eyes start feeling different did it ever go away
Is this considered false attraction ??
@@pikopiko18 what?
Is it possible to have false attraction for a certain type pf people if fear i have feelings for😢
could this be also applied to find appealing the things you actually find disgusting?
Yes
I remember when i was in seventh grade(i did not know i had or knew what hocd was) i used to put my back against the wall begind me cuz it was comfortable and tgeir was a girl infront of mw and whenever i turned i saw her and i remember asking what if i like her, and suddenly everytime i was around her i felt anxious and scared and that i mught be, and then one day she held my hand i dont remember why but i remember feeling auper anxious and my heart beating (even thoughi had no interest) and now that i think about it its making me anxious again but i think about how i would avoid where she was and i didn't really care when shs was talking on thw board od pay attention to her in general even when feeling like this and thats howni know i was nit attracted but even when knowing i still get anxious and scared to what if i was ? But this is just a demon trying to control and convince you and if you're not a religious person a monster but remember to be strong and that their is always someone like you and i hope this passes
How can I hug you through the screen? Big thank you.
Reading the posts, I feel i should have a disorder like this...What's wrong with me???
Listen I am not dating someone I had a thought ABOUT SOMEONE IM RELATED TO WHO IS ALOT YOUNGER THAN ME help please I’m gonna kms
I am so confused if I watch wlw content to check if im gay. And think that the woman are pretty but dont feel arousal. Does that mean im gay but im not. Am i just trying to figure it out. Are this compulsions. How do I know if im not gay. I dont feel gay.
So is this false attraktion
Is mindfulness a compulsion when I start to have anxiety?
No
Thnx😄😄😄
Bhai tumhe bhi same ocd hai?
My most usual compulsion was checking, and it work but after a while now when I check I felt like I actually being aroused or that I like what I'm imagining, it's like I feel the opposite of what I wanted to feel.
What might be happening is that you are feeling anxiety whenever you check, and its actually kind of common to confuse anxiety with sexual desire beacuse they have some similarities phsycologically wise
@@mysticsaiyan5802 How do you know that?
@@nicolas19676 I've done some exhaustive research regarding HOCD brother, it's affecting me too and im getting as much information as i can to help other people, and im also doing this so whenever something weird happens I dont get scared myself, i know how horrible this is but we'll get thru it, just trust the process! Wish you luck my brother!
@@nicolas19676 how are you now?
@@thelife_ofkhushi Not heal but better I guess
Can someone please explain to me whether the "great!" in minute 1:50 is meant ironically? Thanks
im pretty sure it’s irony
@@theredcoffeemaker Thanks
First of all hi,my name is Anshaal.l'am a junior in high school..I have been dealing with this since I was in middle school.first of all this is the
Worst thing I have ever had.I always feared being gay.This has made my fear grow more then ever.I have been complimented by people many time by both genders and never found it weird or gay I said thanks.now days after when I started getting Hod when a male compliments me I find it weird and my brain literally triggers it..once there was argument about if there are 2 genders or more in a game.l obviously said there were 2 genders,a guy beside me who I thought was with the people who said there are more genders.i said
"bro there are only 2"
He said "bro your a Chad fr... (Chad means=awesome).I suddenly got heart palpitations and was like confused cause of I thought he was supporting them.after that my brain was like "your gay,you got flustered when he said that your a Chad"I was really in a mental stress.I kept saving that it was a just a reaction which I always get in HOCD but my brain kept saying "No! your gay,why would you get flustered then."it really messed me up I was thinking about it the whole day.I was crying because of this because I don't want to be gay .I have had crush on women my entire life and liked them a lot and I still have a crush on one in my class, this really gave me a lot of stress and torture in my mind.
I kept saying and giving and using logic but my brain denied it with another statement.I really have lost every one of my hope.l don't want to be gay.l hate this so much!.
Reply if you can help.
Can you feel false attraction to someone who is a friend?
Can someone without HOCD but has social anxiety and ocd feel this?
If you have ocd and your feeling this it would be hocd because it’s another form of ocd
I like the" not figure it out"
Me too! 😉
@@guitarsonanarrowboat6567 yess for sure!
@@guitarsonanarrowboat6567 a tip that has worked for me is, try to distract yourself. Throw yourself in a different situation, call a friend, go do the dishes, talk to a relative. Anything that can take the attention away from the distress and the thought that makes you feel like that will work after some practice. But remember, notice the thought and do not ignore it completely. So say, ahh that a interesting though and go do something else right away.
Hope that helps you out buddy!
@@guitarsonanarrowboat6567 because ocd attaches to something that is relevant and important to someone. The contant of the ocd itself doesn’t really matter. It could about anything that could make you anxious and its just want you to figure out because of a learned pattern over time. I will share a video with you under this comment, to help you understand whats the “science” behind the need of the feeling that you need to figure it out. Then I will make sense why you should resist finding answers
@@guitarsonanarrowboat6567 czcams.com/video/laeYq51SYA0/video.html
This drives me crazy. I also suffer from limerence.
@neen2660: it's the same thing, just different wording.
Its the flesh aka the body versus the soul! Guess I'm a cursed vessel
NOCD isn’t affordable it’s quite pricey tbh
Is it the same with pocd?
Yes
Why is it called False Attraction?
Becuase it’s not real
What if there is no anxiety but groinal response.
Still hocd
@@Skullishothank God because i hate it it triggers my anxiety when i get a groin response like i love women always been straight etc every since this i lost my attraction to women and everytime i speak to a male my groin responds! I just wish i was normal again no stress etc
@@RealNFVlogsYes i have this to.. i always had anxiety with it but when i researched it and i saw this is normal in ocd etc i started to be more relax and not stressing when i knew the ariosal is coming, but then i focused om the ariosal and i became a feeling “do i enjoy this” cuz i wasnt anxious. And then i started asking, what if i really do enjoy this ariosal? What if. İ am really attracted, but this comes with the ocd i think
I was just in love with a girl, she broke my heart miserably, and now here I am again thinking am i gay or not, having false attraction 😭😭😭😭
Same here pal!. I also had a breakup 2 years back it turned my life upside down and now I'm thinking I'm gay.
are you better now?
Can False Attraction happen with POCD?
I want to know too.
yes
@@SleezyKY how do we make it go away, I always find myself questioning someone's age. Will that go away?
@@44LADYA44 i couldn’t tell you how to get it away. im currently going through it right now…
@@SleezyKY oh ok. Well thanks anyway its at least good to not be alone.
😊
Hlo😊
Does false attraction involve smiling unintentionally?
Hi!
I need your help!
Suddenly two months ago i smiled to someone of the same gender and that it was horrifying!
After that i catch my self to smile unintentionally and to another persons of same gender ! Never happened to me again from the date of my birth and it is very weird! Of course i had and another signs of false attraction!
Can you describe the unintentionally smiling more; and something else that maybe help me
@@spyross2595 how are you now
@@spyross2595 hiii, I don't know if it's like this w u, but personally I've been struggle with ROCD for a long time A SUDDENLY A THOUGHT OF LIKING MY BOYFRIENDS BEST FRIEND HT and i started crying everyday, having fear of being true, now I'm on a break w my boyfriend and I know it's not true.
When I found out that maybe it was ROCD I watched a TON of videos of ROCD
And once I has this fake smiling which I wanted to smile like "😏" and MY MOUTH DON'T MOVE and I SWEAR to GOD that i don't like this person. After watching a lot video i stopped having anxiety but I think of this every single DAY, I google it and i just I don't know it just SO annoying
Today ive been practicing ERP by myself when I saw this guy and I think I did pretty good job and suddenly i DREAMED about him hugging me and I MY HEART IS SHAKING again I don't know I think I don't feel anxiety anymore but this fake weird smile IS HARD does it means something?
(Just to clarify currently my bf and I are on a break til I figure out if I like him or no t after practicing ERP i assure myself that I don't and I think OCD is trying to convince me)
Not useful at all
Thank you so much! 💞 I'm suffering from Sexual Orientation OCD 😥 and I needed you to talk about false attractions.😱 I clicked on the vid as soon as I got the notification! Lately, I took ERP to the next level. Now I say to my OCD "Maybe, maybe not. Yeah, sure, I love these fake attractions. Bring it on!". 🤛This vid has encouraged me to keep going and get my life back! I can't thank you enough. 🫂
Yeah bro. I’m like to my thought is that all you got.
@@guitarsonanarrowboat6567 For about 2 years now. And yes, reacting like that helps me.
@@guitarsonanarrowboat6567 Excuse me if I sound like a snowflake, but the correct term is SO "Sexual Orientation" OCD. HOCD has a homophobic vibe and suggests that only heterosexuals suffer with this type of OCD when actually homosexuals can suffer from it too - fearing they may be straight when they're actually gay. And I'm a gay man suffering with SO OCD, that shit is making me thinkn that I might be bi or straight but I'm not. I've been gay my whole life and I love men, I have zero desire to date women. AS for my recovery, it's better than before and I have my days. But i know at the end of the day, I am a proud homosexual man and everything this ocd says is not real. Thanks
@@guitarsonanarrowboat6567 you're right, "h" could stand for heterosexual OCD. Sorry for taking it the wrong way. Since my so OCD kicked in, I've been looking up other peoples' experiences and it's always about straight guys suffering from hocd and even experts using that term. And it's like "if I hear that one more time!". God, it's annoying. But don't worry, I've managed to find forums aboy gay men suffering from so OCD and I can actually relate to them.
I've had so OCD for 2 years this July.
@@guitarsonanarrowboat6567 All I can say is that it's awful and very manipulative, but with the right knowledge and treatment can aid to overcome it. I had it twice before, expect back then I didn't know what it was until I found out this year.