Breaking Up Is Hard, But You Need To Do It
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- čas přidán 24. 03. 2024
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Remember this guys: "You can't expect for a rope to be firm if the other side is not holding onto it"
I think they make pills for that firm issue 😜
@@It-b-Blairfreaky ahh
Proverbs??
That makes sense to me
Here's a tip. when you break up, let it all out, keeping it in is just gonna make it worse.
Hey Toycat. so I have been watching your content for about 4 years now and this video really hit me hard. I remember it was Thanksgiving day and I saw a video titled "Cave Update But It's Cave Update Ranting For Cave Update Minutes" which was such an absurd title that I just started watching and I remember being so intrigued by the way you talked about something so weird. It hit me while watching this that Toycat went from ranting about a cave update to talking about something as real as what this video covered, while I have gone from the peak of my life being playing Minecraft or some other game that had me hooked, to going to college, having been in a three-month relationship that got cut short because it could not be maintained, and finally now looking to CZcams again to find comfort in what I used to find so much enjoyment out of. Then this video shows up and its you, Toycat mining away in that same place you have mined in for so long reminding me that I need to move on. I need to break up with the part of myself thats holding me to the same place ive been navigating and find what is really calling to me. No matter how uncomfortable.
Thanks for being there for me Toycat you have been here for the biggest developmental stages of my life.
ah yes pure ibx content
no hello im ibxtoycat, is it really even toycat content without it?
In my eyes begin every relationship as "it probably won't work out but if it does that's cool"
That's not a very good mindset tbh
That kind of thinking is how you have a short lived relationship
@@digitalvii maybe for you. Let me elaborate: get into every relationship with the thought that you'd like it to last for a long time but it probably won't. It's up to the other person and the circumstances. Like 90% of relationships end anyway so it's just normal thinking
@@digitalviiYes; if you aren’t committed in the long-term, that will become pretty obvious pretty quickly, and if the other person IS looking for a commitment, they will continue looking elsewhere (and if they also expect no commitment, they’ll leave as soon as the high fades, if you haven’t already).
I went through my first breakup about a month ago, our relationship lasted 18 months. It was one of those too-good-to-be-true relationships I thought would never end and I was committed to never letting it end despite how difficult our relationship was going to be in reality due to long-distance. The past month has been painful, even though it was probably the right decision to break up its something I can't deal with and I have been coping very badly over it and I just didn't/don't know how to get over it. I did relate to this video quite a lot, I felt like I was at breaking-point with the neglect I've felt and that was when she told me it would probably be better for us not to be in a relationship. As much as I love her, similar dark intrusive thoughts came to my mind and I felt more and more like an awful person and I've been struggling to let go (in my mind at least) and desperate to have her back. I don't really know why I'm saying any of this in a youtube comment but I just figured I would say this video spoke out to me as a long-time subscriber and it definitely helped me look at a new perspective. While I still feel very down over it, it does make me realise more that I have to move on and accept this is how it is, even with the strong emotions I've been going through.
car
I read once that we can expect it to take as long as half the length of the relationship to more or less put a breakup to rest. So you’ve got a ways to go. Take care, fellow traveler. ❤
As someone in the same boat, long distance is hard, and the breakups feel so much more intense
This is probably one of the most random but genuine bits of advice I've heard in a while Let alone from a Minecraft CZcamsr
This video takes me back, introspective time with Toycat is always my favourite
Break ups suck but if I hadnt decided to do it 10 years ago i never would have met my partner and i wouldnt change my life now for the world, as long as we take our experiences and use them to grow and learn we can all become better people. Dont be bitter, be kind :)
Only way I ever really got over one girl was when I got another, when I was single I just dwelled on the last relationship so saddle up and ride er hard cowcat🤘😺
@@jameswesten2018I thought I got over my first husband once I got serious with my second, but after my second died, I had wish-fulfillment dreams of being in a loving relationship with my first husband (something that was never really a reality). I also occasionally have dreams of getting along with my father who has wanted nothing to do with me for over 20 years now. I don’t think these things ever fully go away. ❤️🩹
the thing that i say time and time again about any type of relationship with another person (romantic, friend, coworker, etc..) is that communication is key.
in any healthy relationship, when the two sides communicate well with each other, any potential "problem" is discussed and gets resolved way before it becomes a big deal, and through this process one gets to know his/her partner better, more intimately, and forges a stronger, healthier bond with said person.
for any type of relationship, the best and most important thing one can have with his/her partner is healthy and strong communication.
and worst comes to worst, if two people through a deep and mature conversation realize that there is no point continuing the relationship then both can agree to terminate it together in a mature manner, both understanding that it's for the best and the benefit of both that they move on.
i totally agree and resonate with this video.
i hope you are ok man :)
it's for the best my friend.
I really, really needed to hear this today. The last few years I've really been taking stock on what matters to me, and what i want out of life, and it's just so damn difficult sometimes. I think this ties into sunk cost fallacy really well, which is something i struggle with overcoming. It's nice to hear your thoughts on the subject.
My daughter’s father died tragically 4 years ago so yes anyone who thinks”it would have been better if they died” really doesn’t understand how much worse that really is. You never get the chance to see them, hear their voice, etc ever again. I’m still completely messed up from it and haven’t even wanted to date anyone since. It is so much harder than any break up has been or could be.
I had roughly equivalent marriages (duration, both produced one kid), so I believe I am rather uniquely positioned to compare what divorce was like to what widowhood was like. Both are absolutely, excruciatingly painful and I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy. The difference is in what others expect you to feel; anger and relief in divorce, sadness and fear in widowhood; when actually both are all that, at the same time, for months and, to a lesser extent, for years/life. I agree a break-up after a few months probably isn’t as bad as your average bereavement, but that’s because grieved losses usually involve longer/deeper relationships. Sorry for your loss; my daughter’s father died about a year and a half ago, now. ❤️🩹
I think it depends on the nature of the relationship.
toycat, i didnt know i needed this, thank you, and also glad to have been subscribed for a good while even if its only been 2-3 years
i just broke up last week why is everyone making break up videos, I'm literally staring at our picture together😢
Stay strong my bro, you got this 🫂
thank you @@nomoretears_
i honestly still don't get why he lost interest in me
It’s also that you see it a lot more because you think about it. Life is complex but it’s not over. You will probably not die next year.
@@44hd59 You're right
I broke up last week, and it hurts so bad but this video made me see her point of view and I finally understand I should let go, its for her best and If I do love her I just need to push through
I really liked this video. I don't think I've seen any of your Lets Play videos, but I've seen quite a lot of your other videos, and a couple of your live streams, and I enjoy just hearing you talk about various things.
I'd love more videos like this where you just talk about a specifc life topic.
Hey Toycat, I have been watching your videos for a good few years now, and I want to say thank you for all of this work you do for us. You have given some really great, helpful advice over the years, and as someone who has been struggling with getting over an ex recently this video really speaks to me. These types of videos, the Let's-Plays with "real talk", are my favourite, and its such a delight every time that you release one. Thank you for being awesome
I really like the way you talk its so interesting and keeps the mind focused on what you talk about
Love the video toycat! Keep up the amazing work and maybe talk some more life expierience like this in your other let's plays. You are a pleasure to listen to!
the lets play is my favorite part of this channel
My most memorable break up, was when me and my partner at the time mutually broke up. The reason for that was because of her depression after her grandmother died. And, the reason why I didn't resist in the break up was because if she wants to break up to focus on herself after such a serious change in life, I will not stop her and she should have that choice regardless. And that's what it came down to. It sucked, but it saved a lot of unnecessary pain. She probably thinks she hurted me, and she didn't. And now I wish I can tell her that. We broke up for over a year ago.
This really does help ibx been watching for 3 years keep it up
Wow, I was a huge fan of yours 6 years ago, forgot you existed, and then randomly came upon this video with great advice which I really needed.
Another amazing video. Really gave me the spingboard for introspection I needed. Cheers
She started treating me worse than her friends, to an extent where she wanted nothing to do with me, i wanted to help her to change but she never did. I had to break up with her before i wanted to hurt myself and i did and she ghosted me and left for an absolute dick who doesn't care for her. I wanted to help myself but i don't know how to let go. She was my best friend and now she treats me like her enemy. It's been a while now and im stuck not being able to move on
I loved this episode! Please make longer ones though ❤️
Thanks for another great video Toycat ❤
love this more serious side and I love the deep talks so much:)
In ways, this helps to hear. I’ve been grieving my first love for the past six years now. I’ve finally reached a point where I.. just don’t know what to do anymore to try and move on. It hasn’t been happening. I even moved across the country to get away from the memories.. But she’s still everything I think about. Every day.
I understand how you feel, and I’m sorry.
Now I know lava exists at Y=4. You got short-changed on that geode.
Not what I was expecting this morning, but still very much appreciated. The only thing I'll add is that ghosting is a very cowardly way to end a relationship. If your partner is doing it to you, you're far better off without them than you realize.
This did not teach me how to break up into the Nether roof...
It just made me cry. I watch a lot of therapy stuff, but wasn't ready for it rn...
i needed this man
This was nice to hear, I miss my ex but she chose to break up with me. Now I just think about the life we had planned, us moving together, us getting married, us having kids. It's all gone now and will never happen again. I can't force her to be with me nor for her to want me. I occasionally talk to her and she tells me how bad she is doing and it makes me sad to hear that because I wish her the best but she chose this path. (She broke up with me because she didn't want to move to my city anymore even though it wasn't going to be permanent and we were going to find a place we could call home).
Thought ibxtoycat was going to somehow transition the title to breaking up with Minecraft or something, only to get to the end of the video and walk away with a bunch of really good life advice 10/10 thank you good sir I wish all the best for you!
I really dig this content! Hoping for more soon
Thank u ibx❤️
Toy Cat you always impress me❤ you are wise beyond your years and you have such a bright light! This may sound condescending but I am proud of you! I have watched you grow and its amazing to see how you weave life lessons into minecraft!
I just went through a breakup yesterday, and this has helped me so much.
Thank you.
Thank you for this vid! A brilliant reminder to check in with yourself, really introspective but sharing the life lessons gained on the way. My personal experience with relationships was really detrimental to my mental health, I eventually learned that at this point in my life I identify as aro/ace and think I had been in the place for a long time without realising while being in a relationship, learning this about myself was so freeing because society puts so much weight on romantic partners it can feel like something you HAVE to have and enjoy, again thanks for the vid!
Enjoyed hearing your experience😊 I feel like I’ve been lucky to not have heartbreak, but I’ve had the hardships that comes from only seeing toxic relationships when I finally wanted a serious relationship. One thing Ik for sure, money is how I show my love and appreciation to Toycat😂
this guy is the best i love you man, you really changed something in me
damn, I needed some real talk from toycat in my life.
I hope it gets better for you toycat, I can totally understand needing to vent to someone after having a long week. I’ve personally had a long week as a lot has happened this week. “Including my birthday, my brother getting arrested, sister just getting out of the hospital and finding out the day after my birthday that my dog got put down. And only got told the day after when I got off work because nobody wants to be told his dog died on his birthday when he’s enjoying it with his friends. So it’s been a long week.
Also in case anyone’s curious this happened on the 23rd as my birthday is then so yeah. But I hope someone’s week is better than mine as of yet. I’ve only got to look forward as I still have school but “time heals all wounds”, or something like that?
I love these self help videos they feel so connected to the viewers. Also nice burnt pun
I went throught a break up too, like three days (or recent), but i did wish her the best for her, even if she dont replied or siads anything. Anyways keep up the awesome contents!
13:00 to add on to your talk about eventual issues, breaking points, and small annoyances when first meeting another person, I would like to say that I heard the same kind of thought process in another talk previously, can't really remember where/when.
They put it very simply as a tolerance level. When you first meet someone, one's tolerance for another's behavior is very high due to social obligation, but after a few months or maybe even weeks, the tolerance lowers. I think this is a more concise way to say that specific part of the video, if it helps at all.
I thought you were breaking up whith bedrock;_; aka leaving for java lolll
kinda wish everyone would go back to jhava bedrock can be neat but its not real minecraft real minecraft dosent have micro transactions and a dumb ass marketplace
@@TwilightVaramekok then tell me what should people do that can not afford a pc and stuff like that (well i could buy one if i would want to bc i work but i prefer bedrock on xbox) but other people can not aford it what should they do if the want to play _real_ Minecraft
@@Someone_from_Bavaria Yeah, console/bedrock is probably the simplest way to play Minecraft, since for Java, apparently Minecraft is very difficult to get to work right, so low end computers can't run it unless they're modified or something.
my real Minecraft is PlayStation edition
@@DangLWang So true
Shush title Toycat, no I do not
do it
@@toycat that's so ominous out of context 😅
i was expecting this to be about leaving minecraft bedrock edition for java or something
This type of video made me stick around. Thank you, I really appreciate you going back to your roots :)
As for breaking up: I also date with the intention of staying with the person until the day I die. It’s all the more heartbreaking when it doesn’t work out no matter how hard you try. I was in a 4 year relationship with a guy who we had really good chemistry with, we made each other feel so safe and loved. (Also he laughed at my jokes). But alas, I figured out I was a lesbian, and had to be the one to break up with him. To this day I think if I were ever to marry a man, it would’ve been him
Toycat I’ve been a viewer for many years and have been through many different relationships. Currently I’m dating who I believe to be the love of my life. I appreciate you continuing to make videos as they have comforted me through many of my previous breakups!!
The thing with relationships is they don’t exist if you never talk. They’re just a person whom gives you happy feelings with no reason why because you don’t really connect. That’s what my one best friend was like. Five years watching her talk with her friends unable to find the words to contribute. If I looked elsewhere I could’ve found an extrovert to talk to and maybe I wouldn’t be several years post high school with no clue how to person and social anxiety. So a breakup can be the difference of curing social anxiety or making it worse.
I like these old style lets plays. The philosophical musings are more in depth than scattered livestreams.
Then you have the opposite problem.... I'll tell my story in hopes of warning others to not ignore an uneasy feeling going into a relationship... I did, ended up figuring out she lied to me. Ended up dating someone who was depressed, and manipulative. Someone who tried to bring me down when i tried to help. I discovered that you can't help someone who won't help themselves the hard way. Not to mention she had a lot of other issues. If I'd have listened to my gut, I'd have stayed well away from her. My dumb and ignorant self mistook it as nervousness due to it being my first relationship. Almost 2 years ago, I ended the relationship. Dunno where shes at, or who shes with. I don't care honestly. i still deal with a lot of crap from that relationship, and its left me very confused on how i look at relationships. Also left me afraid to trust anyone for quite a while. I'm healing though, so maybe eventually I'll find that right one. Be warned people, don't do like i did. Listen when your gut tells you to be careful.
Being ghosted is hard. Just know thyre a coward and you have an opportunity for someone better
Thank you for the great videos and the real talk. Never miss a video. Toycat is Yes!!!
despite ibxtoycat being a random person, this is the most random video ive seen from ibxtoycat
Broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years a while ago. It was hard to initiate, but I felt so relieved afterwards. She only wanted to talk to me when she had a problem. It was exhausting.
your content is evolving and im coming back to it
18:36 the funny thing is i was a fan of your channel back in 2016-2018 then i lost interest but now im back
"reckonstance" is a good idea for a word. let's spread it.
It sounds real already haha
thanks man
As someone who feels lonely, this is great advice!
so that`s why toycat hyped this so much
I’ve been in a relationship since 8/10/21. The best advice I could give is, never bottle anything up. It will come up later. Be willing to not take things personally. Be open and willing to respond and listen. Never lie or cheat, it will lead to a bad life path overall.
I took a lot more away from this video than I expected to when I saved it to a playlist a month ago, but thats probably because I broke up with my first partner between then and I don't think either of us are really over it yet
one thing I've always thought is that excluding financially if you are worse off being with someone than you were alone, then what's the point of being with them? they aren't a match and its making your life worse so let them move on and free yourself up for when you eventually find someone suitable
I refuse to breakup with my long term realm. Even if it means I lowkey hate new updates cause I have to travel so damn far.
As an aro/ace person, this advice is useless. Keep up the good work toycat!
Need help ?😂
same
real
Just say you're an incel. You don't need to make new words for it
Or you just hate those types of people, be honest. 😑
minecraft, but with relationship advice. never change toycat.
im 18 and have never been in a romantic relationship before, but ive been listening to a lot of advice about it over the years and i wonder how it will help me.
would it actually help me maintain a healthy relationship and soften the blow when it does eventually end, or am i actually still emotionally unprepared for everything that comes with a romantic relationship?
I wonder the same.
thank you iboxtoycat
But does he box toy cats?
He gives them the 1 2@@BCDeshiG
@@BCDeshiG maybe, maybe not, we may never know
Well said
I was in a relationship with my boyfriend who helped me get my own independence from my parents and to finally become an adult. There was some drama recently and is going to be quite a hard pill to swallow (no pun intended) but this video came at such the best time. Thanks Ibbx boycat
Understandable, take care!
What a way to start a Minecraft video man
This was a good one.
Hey toycat what exactly is that song at the end I know it’s Sweden but by whom
I like the gameplay commentary style of the newer let's plays but I'd recommend planning out what your going to say a bit more. Having just a few bullet points of what to say would make you more prepared and make the video more cohesive as a whole.
I would disagree, I think that having a few bullet points & unscripted makes it feel more natural, like he’s giving advice. Having it scripted feels a little less natural & more forced
My friend sent me this video I think she was trying to say I need to end a friendship because it's so negatively affecting me and the other person. But like you're pretty cool actually so yeah I'll subscribe
🗿
Oh so thats why you were socially deprived completely understand its ok
I keep seeing videos like this. I’ve never been in a relationship.
Same...
This is something I should have heard before. I suffered in an abusive relationship for a year until I had enough and had to let go.
in todays random topic with toycat "you should know when to break up"
us: oof
It's kind of ironic I've been watching you for years my girlfriend / fiance / wife of 26 years just walked out on me and didn't tell me nothing I'm trying to communicate with her but she shut me out and I'm a very communicative guy but I'm very sensitive where's my emotions I wear them on my sleeve and I know I have to build and work myself out but your video helped me a lot today
damn i just broke up a few weeks ago. wasnt easy, but thanks for the advice
Ok this is gonna be crazy snd im in an ad right now
How do I look forward to a life that will inevitably result in most of my relationships (platonic and romantic) ending? I know that few things are forever, but if that’s the case then what is the point of subjecting myself to that?
Thanks a lot toycat. My family sat down with me to watch this CZcams video and now they’re getting a divorce
My dad tells me that to break up with a girl you just have to annoy the bejesus out of her until she breaks up with you.
Nether ceiling??
Cheese
I agree
Cheese
But lactose intolerance
What kind of cheese?
@@Halfendymionsay no to lactose intolerance
me and my ex used to watch your videos and now I'm staring down the barrel of this gun again
this is exactly what went through my head as I was having to break up with my girlfriend a couple months ago... it's hard to go through, but it's something that does need to happen.
for a second I thought he was talking about bedrock but then he talks about relationships and it feels so weird hearing a Minecraft youtuber talking about these topics
0:40 In the meantime, Toycat literally got burnt.
1:45 Does the "other side" look like the inside of an amithyst geode?
2:00 Was the thoguht as dark as that tunnel before you placed those torches?
11:19 thats called narcissism (you dodged a bullet with that one)
thats a good wisdom
Haven’t even been in a relationship in 2 years but good topic
11:00 dang
ibx if you ever get sad again i’ll be there for you because your videos make me happy and i wouldn’t want you sad unless you have to feel sad for a bit then after i’ll make sure you’re not sad. unless it’s a canon event on our timeline then i guess i can’t do anything? unless. . there’s a time paradox