Control - Improvised Short Film

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  • čas přidán 9. 04. 2019
  • Not all domestic abuse is physical, could you tell the difference?
    This is a short film about emotional domestic abuse, the film was shot in a single day and was completely improvised by both actors.
    Starring Stuart Goodwin and Anna Downes.
  • Krátké a kreslené filmy

Komentáře • 281

  • @nabirahbukhari
    @nabirahbukhari Před 5 lety +226

    Mentally abusing your spouse is also domestic violence
    Great message conveyed in the short film

    • @EternalIrisLimited
      @EternalIrisLimited  Před 5 lety +6

      thank you

    • @nabirahbukhari
      @nabirahbukhari Před 5 lety +3

      @@EternalIrisLimited 💖💖

    • @amandalidey329
      @amandalidey329 Před rokem +3

      Mental abuse is just as bad as physical.

    • @carljohnson2194
      @carljohnson2194 Před rokem +1

      @@amandalidey329 it’s not equal. Physical is worse but still mental is bad yes

    • @amandalidey329
      @amandalidey329 Před rokem +1

      @@carljohnson2194 Its equal imo. Mental/physical/emotional. All a sign of "abuse " soo u think one is better than the other,??. If u look up facts about unfortunate situations like this. It states "Mental abuse " can actually be worse than "physical" When I was "20" yrs old. (My daughter's age) I met someone who was just strictly a friend, nothing else, we ended up dating when I was 22 (which was very unexpected) he had been just a friend for 2 years, nothing else. Wellll me being young, way less wiser, etc. It started with Mental & emotional 1 year later when we were then actually living together & then thats when the physical abuse started. Keep in mind I wasn't even 25 yet, easy to buy $1,000 omega necklaces from Kay jewelers for our first Christmas & literally $175 breakfasts on the water with champagne & bloody merrys for breakfast. All this fancy wining & dining. At that age u look at it differently. U can't "Buy my love " I appreciated it but all the flowers seemed to work too, until u get a Lil older & wiser & realize it was & meant nothing. Thank GOD I didn't marry him. I definitely looked & picked out "princess cut engagement 💍 " which I need a queen ring lol. But that would have been a nightmare.!! My point is, They are all the same & effect u the same. Soo if u never been in a situation like that, I wouldn't speak on it. That's your opinion tho. I'm 39 yrs old. Let me tell u, if a "man" put his hands on me. That would be the first & very last. Some are just imo sick & maybe don't know how to love. I really don't know. Lol, bc I don't mentally, physically or emotionally abuse anyone I love. That's not love. That lasted for 7 years & by the grace of God the night he strangled me, I put his sorry a☆☆ In jail & I didn't stay bc I didn't "value myself " or bc I wanted too. I was in a definite, difficult situation at that time. I tell my daughter who is 20 now the same so she never goes thru that & I hope father's out there raise their son's the way they would want him to treat his gf/wife in the future & definitely for sure their daughter's & 🙏 their not wiping the tears off their daughter's face for the EXACT same reason. Sad but true. Just thought I'd fill u in on what "abuse" means. They are absolutely equal.💯

  • @SydneyInTheSky
    @SydneyInTheSky Před 3 lety +95

    Immediately this makes sense when she jumps up when he walks in.....been there. It’s like a natural bodily response eventually 🤦🏻‍♀️

    • @belindahutchinson5333
      @belindahutchinson5333 Před 10 měsíci +1

      That’s true. However in this instance I think she just moved out of his favourite seat.

  • @williamj.dovejr.8613
    @williamj.dovejr.8613 Před 2 lety +103

    Don't let anyone control you.. whether it's a man or a woman. Get away from them.

    • @MiriamHernandez-cv7em
      @MiriamHernandez-cv7em Před 2 lety +5

      I’m working on that at the moment ,I’m tired of crying and it’s draining me 😢

    • @melodieperkins7080
      @melodieperkins7080 Před rokem +1

      @@MiriamHernandez-cv7em it takes time be patient with yourself. Take each day step by step, your safety is important not what others think they don't live the nightmare

    • @pfb74
      @pfb74 Před rokem

      ​​@@MiriamHernandez-cv7emou will break free. I believe in you. Be safe please and take care of yourself.

    • @jonathanlemonwrestlingshow9251
      @jonathanlemonwrestlingshow9251 Před 9 měsíci

      Controlling is wrong 😑

  • @gabby20
    @gabby20 Před 4 lety +165

    This was hard for me to watch as it was like watching myself 2 years ago , same type pf control , mental and physical. I was constantly under a spell of manipulations of lies and deciet. Now I'm still healing. It's hard but anyone going through this or any kind of abuse Get out. Great Vid

    • @dp.2766
      @dp.2766 Před 3 lety +6

      Run! Go grey rock! A black eye is much easier to heal from!

    • @amandalidey329
      @amandalidey329 Před rokem +5

      Right. Well I'm 39 now. & my relationship like this started at 22 (met at 20) until almost 30. Soo yes, I definitely get that. These men/women too are disgusting.

    • @allisonb.8492
      @allisonb.8492 Před 8 měsíci

      same!@@amandalidey329

  • @mandygreen9152
    @mandygreen9152 Před 4 lety +223

    i was in a relationship like that, so charming he was in the beginning, but the control was subtiel, there should be more films about this the hidden abuse also called covert narsisissem

    • @victoriavitoroulis3273
      @victoriavitoroulis3273 Před 2 lety +1

      If you listen to podcast .. there is narcissist apocalypse , actual victims tell their stories ..

    • @joycenichols6187
      @joycenichols6187 Před 2 lety +1

      I was also. But at the end was physical. That's when I left. I didnt know treatment and words were violent. But I knew through my mother and dad relationship what the violence was.

    • @PaperMario64
      @PaperMario64 Před 2 lety

      Typical narcissist

    • @sarahnelson_93
      @sarahnelson_93 Před rokem +2

      I was with a covert narcissist for 5 years. They love bomb you in the beginning so you think they’re your soul mate and then exactly. The control is subtle until you look up and don’t recognize the person in the mirror anymore because you have confirmed to be everything they want you to be. Nothing is ever right or enough and it’s always your fault. It never got physical but the emotional and mental abuse and being separated from my family was devastating. Good for us girl for leaving people like that.

    • @susansherlock6934
      @susansherlock6934 Před rokem +2

      Yes, same here, very subtle...it took 33 sessions of domestic abuse counselling to bring me out of my trance ..

  • @rubberbiscuit99
    @rubberbiscuit99 Před 2 lety +30

    When you feel contempt coming from someone who claims to love you, run. These people are not safe to be around, no matter who they are to you. Run.

    • @crystalcole888
      @crystalcole888 Před 2 lety +4

      Contempt. That's the perfect word. I've met a bunch of these guys and they would go back and forth between love-bombing... and contempt. Just showing disgust for me for no apparent reason. That definitely it's one of the main things to look out for.

    • @ginasverige2570
      @ginasverige2570 Před rokem

      💔❤‍🩹

  • @trishd.405
    @trishd.405 Před 2 lety +48

    People who abuse you like this think you are their property. In their minds, they own you.... But, you are NOT their property !!!! My niece was in a relationship with a man who abused her in every way. We didn't know it because she was afraid to tell anyone. When she finally did she had to run away in the middle of the night a asked a couple at a gas station to help hide her. Thank God they were good people and they helped her. They got her to the airport and someone in our family supplied a ticket for her to get back home. He had taken her far away. She escaped him !!!! He searched for and threatened her until he overdosed on drugs one day. Now, at least she is safe from him. If you are being abused, run and go to a church or somewhere safe !! 🙏🙏🙏

  • @aviewtokill08
    @aviewtokill08 Před 2 lety +73

    Her shaking hands took me right back. To anyone living like this I hope you get out. It's been five years rebuilding my life but I never, ever, ever regret leaving. I took what little money I had, three dogs and two suitcases and drove across the country without a plan. There is help out there and you are not alone! Life is too precious to be miserable!

    • @lisahowell5048
      @lisahowell5048 Před 2 lety +7

      I'm proud of you for getting out.

    • @aviewtokill08
      @aviewtokill08 Před 2 lety +4

      @@lisahowell5048 thank you for your kind words.

    • @amandalidey329
      @amandalidey329 Před rokem +3

      Shaking of the hands. Yes. Sad.

    • @ginasverige2570
      @ginasverige2570 Před rokem +2

      ❤❤❤

    • @soniaprovard8259
      @soniaprovard8259 Před rokem

      Same! Omg! So awful & humiliating!! Did you notice how he took the remote & it magically appeared after she started to search for it? Typical abusive a hole!

  • @shirleymotteram2225
    @shirleymotteram2225 Před 5 lety +89

    Very powerful, remember that feeling, so subtle but so destructive to self.

    • @EternalIrisLimited
      @EternalIrisLimited  Před 5 lety +9

      thank you, subtle and behind the scenes with almost a feeling that we are not seeing the worst of it, is what we were going for.

    • @emilynielsen4378
      @emilynielsen4378 Před 4 lety +5

      Eternal Iris Film and Photography You nailed it. Thank you.

  • @GradKat
    @GradKat Před 5 lety +131

    This was good. I was in a relationship very like this one. The actors did a great job portraying an atmosphere of suspicion, menace and implied threat.

    • @EternalIrisLimited
      @EternalIrisLimited  Před 5 lety +13

      thank you. implied threat, something extra missing, the fact we cant see all of it, is part of what we were going for.

  • @rosiesingleton6480
    @rosiesingleton6480 Před 2 lety +96

    My husband was a knight in shinning armor in the beginning. Then slowing his true colors came out. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. A super control freak. Taking my keys, phone, even my wedding ring. He had to see what clothes I laid out to wear to the next morning. Then the verbal abuse followed by pushing, head butting - I had bruising. Came home from work one afternoon & found him dead in our bedroom from a massive heart attack. I truly believe I would have been dead if our marriage lasted longer.

    • @amandalidey329
      @amandalidey329 Před rokem +6

      Oh I can relate. How about as soon as u walk in the door, they wanna grab your purse & go thru it, looking at receipts & what's on those receipts. That's another one I forgot about.

    • @rosiesingleton6480
      @rosiesingleton6480 Před rokem +1

      @@amandalidey329 totally disgusting & so insecure - major losers. Love is blind is an understatement.

    • @amandalidey329
      @amandalidey329 Před rokem +2

      @@rosiesingleton6480 Yes

    • @holographic555
      @holographic555 Před rokem +6

      I'm really sorry to hear this. Leaves emotional scars. That's so scary and I'm sorry you had to find him passed away but I'm glad you also don't have to endure that anymore... I hope you have found a life partner who is your true match. My ex spouse never physically abused me. However, he kept me isolated and controlled who I could talk to and when I could go out, taking both sets of car keys. He verbally abused me, mentally abused me. He also controlled my clothing (underwear especially) and would accuse me of physically cheating and made me share my location on my phone.

    • @amandalidey329
      @amandalidey329 Před rokem +1

      @@holographic555 So sorry u had to go thru that. If they only knew how it felt then maybe these men wouldn't act like this or treat the ones they care about like this.

  • @SublimeLullaby
    @SublimeLullaby Před 3 lety +56

    You could almost feel the thick repellant energy when he sat down next to her

  • @lovehope8092
    @lovehope8092 Před 2 lety +12

    Some are just too cold to be warmed by another's love.
    Wishing all who are still healing... peace, rest, and calming companionship 💚

  • @gerrimiller3491
    @gerrimiller3491 Před 3 lety +47

    Actions speaks louder than words. I've learned this is so important to pay attention to

  • @elizabethdockcastle7570
    @elizabethdockcastle7570 Před 5 lety +48

    Wow absolutely amazing actress ! She got into character so perfectly very believable!

  • @trinitywright7122
    @trinitywright7122 Před 2 lety +34

    She's good, makes me feel the anxiety.
    A couple of these things reminding me of things that happened in my last marriage that I didn't even realize were controlling.

  • @deanlangworthy3311
    @deanlangworthy3311 Před 2 lety +36

    Her calling for "pizza" to 999 or 911 in the US is a good way for someone in a situation like this woman in the video to say that they need emergency services right away. My landlord's gf is a 911 operator and this technique has helped ppl in these situations. Very recently here in toledo ohio where she works. A lady called using the pizza thing while her mom was abused by her bf. Saved the lady's life

    • @cthulhusmom
      @cthulhusmom Před 2 lety +2

      I was thinking the same thing. I wonder if they have the same method everywhere

    • @seg6629
      @seg6629 Před 4 měsíci

      Yes brilliant wish I'd of thought of that when needed 😢

    • @benchapman91
      @benchapman91 Před 3 měsíci

      Hi - director here
      Theirs a reddit post about a woman who called 911 for a pizza and police turned up probably saved her life, so in part it's based on that as well as other research on domestic abuse, and just the concept if your stuck in a difficult situation like that that's about to turn even more sour need to find a way anyway to get the hell out to get some help.

  • @janbuchanan3920
    @janbuchanan3920 Před 4 lety +40

    This type of abuse is abhorrent, get out, don’t stay.....you’ll end up dead!

  • @vanessaneto1
    @vanessaneto1 Před 2 lety +19

    Wow, so real. Really powerful. Anyone who has managed to get out of such a relationship deserves praise. You should be proud of yourselves. No point condemning or feeling shame. You're out that's what's important, let the healing begin. ❤

  • @westcoast747
    @westcoast747 Před 2 lety +22

    If someone gives you the creeps, be nice but get rid of them. This is for any kind of relationship, friendship, co workers, friends etc.

    • @redbone8844
      @redbone8844 Před 8 měsíci

      Great advice I always say it goes for everyone

    • @GodsPrincess4eva
      @GodsPrincess4eva Před 7 měsíci

      But sometimes that person being nice gets attacked by the person they are being nice to. It’s not an option depending on the situation.

  • @ingacrosby1554
    @ingacrosby1554 Před 3 lety +33

    As soon as he walked in the door, he looked like he was going to start some shit. She should have taken that boiling water, & threw at him & ran like hell out the door.

    • @redriddinhood9778
      @redriddinhood9778 Před 9 měsíci +1

      That' s something we all say... me too. But, easy to say and hard to do

  • @ingacrosby2013
    @ingacrosby2013 Před 4 lety +62

    You could tell she was scared of him.

    • @chrissymarsha2282
      @chrissymarsha2282 Před 3 lety +7

      That was me

    • @Squab1972
      @Squab1972 Před 3 lety +12

      Inga Crosby walking on eggshells that is a sign of coercive control.

    • @HareshBakshi
      @HareshBakshi Před rokem +1

      and the fake smile on her face...trying to hide her fear and unpleasant feeling about him that would bring more tears and torture to her if she let that be seen

  • @trudiswanson9855
    @trudiswanson9855 Před 2 lety +9

    People can't understand how a look can control you. That look 😥is not just in scripted movies.

  • @Ifailedeverything
    @Ifailedeverything Před 2 lety +17

    Anybody insisting that “gender is performative” THIS is the rebuttal. This doof in the porkpie hat doesn’t need to say anything or raise his hands. She Knows that he has the physical means to back up any implied threat. Both of these actors did a phenomenal job. The tension in this short film was so palpable.

  • @breakingpoint3893
    @breakingpoint3893 Před 2 lety +11

    I used to date a guy who saw me as his personal maid, every time he'd ask me to cook or grab groceries or do the dishes, I'd say your legs aren't broken last I checked, do them yourself... I don't know if I'll ever find love or feel worthy enough to be loved but I do know I'll never put up with that again so long as God let's me live.

  • @schannstewart9385
    @schannstewart9385 Před 3 lety +21

    Emotional abuse...how they make you feel. I remember that with my ex

  • @louisahallman7313
    @louisahallman7313 Před rokem +4

    This is how I live right now every single day. No physical abuse so far but the mental emotional n verbal abuse is so destructive
    He’s a pastor too so no one would believe me.
    I have only told 2 people n thankfully they believe me
    That actress shows exactly how I feel the fear the shaking anxiety n the actor is exactly like my narc husband who drills me w accusatory questions over n over
    I need to escape

    • @granmabern5283
      @granmabern5283 Před rokem

      I went to (free) counselling at the nursing station when I felt helpless. Went regularly for a couple months “ to learn how to be a better person”...haha...he instantly started behaving better. Isolation is toxic. I think women often enable this or even cause it by an unhealthy form of submission. Christ told us, “ Love thy neighbour like you love yourself.”. If you don’t love yourself, practically and honestly and pertinently, then this stuff can creep in. He is getting better all the time, thanks be to God! It never got terrible but it was going downhill. I think they are insecure and they don’t like or love themselves in a healthy way.
      Some of them learned it at home so they start right away. Others get this way because they are submissive at work and with other people, so they tend to want to control their spouse to make up for it. Now mine has started his own company, so he is in control of his life and his interactions and is much happier. He worked too many hours before so he couldn’t have a part time business, unfortunately. Now he has his swagger back and we get along fine.😅🎉❤Reading the “ Good woman” Epistle from Wisdom 31, 10-31 that is a part of the Catholic Mass “ Cognovi” scriptures, helps immensely. “ Who shall find a valiant woman?”😊

    • @campfireaddict6417
      @campfireaddict6417 Před rokem

      @@granmabern5283 Doesn't matter if you do or don't love yourself.

  • @Halo.H
    @Halo.H Před 2 lety +6

    The man is an excellent actor.

  • @rainrowan4939
    @rainrowan4939 Před 3 lety +46

    One day my ex came stopping into the summer house where I had being sleeping saying I couldn't live here anymore. Panicky I asked why what have I done now. He said he had heard on the radio that they were making verbal and emotional abuse illegal so I had to go. Which is weird as he thought he was the best person ever. But he then said I can't have you lying about me. But it's almost like for the first time he had admitted what he was doing.

    • @benchapman91
      @benchapman91 Před 3 lety +6

      so sorry to hear of your struggle, i hope your situation improves soon. emotional/verbal abuse deserves to be illegal, to my knowledge tends to build very slowly, and often if people remain in the relationship builds into physical, financial, and or sexual abuse over time. 'Get out while you can' but that's very unnuanced advice which doesn't show the complexity of how to deal with being in love with someone that abuses you. again, i hope your situation improves soon

    • @rainrowan4939
      @rainrowan4939 Před 3 lety +11

      @@benchapman91 thanks very much. I left two years ago as soon as my daughter went to uni. I have a more peaceful life but do have flash backs.

    • @farahsummers1171
      @farahsummers1171 Před 2 lety +1

      You probably have PTSD Rain! ♡♡ (speaking from experience.) I haven't been able to access them yet sadly but I hear CBT & EMDR are both really helpful. Much love. x

  • @r4tgl
    @r4tgl Před 2 lety +39

    It's important to not let it degenerate to this. Stand up for yourself immediately, even in the beginning of a relationship. No one can bully you if you don't allow it. Never be afraid to end things early in a relationship. If you are uncomfortable with your partner, they shouldn't be your partner. One of the most damning of the 4 horsemen is contempt once this is exhibited in a relationship it is near impossible to repair.

    • @happydillpickle
      @happydillpickle Před 2 lety +3

      I'd go for completely impossible to repair. It always makes me immensely sad when I see people trying desperately to make things better in a hopeless situation like this as that was me, and it's really hard seeing others going through the same, yet still having that miniscule bit of hope that things will get better if only they can make changes to their own behaviour. Such a desperate place to be. The only hope is running and never looking back.

    • @MiriamHernandez-cv7em
      @MiriamHernandez-cv7em Před 2 lety +3

      What if you try to break up with them and they won’t leave ,they keep coming around and stalking you . I’ve tried putting protective order on him and he has threatened me in so many ways . I think the beast think to do in my situation is to pack my bags and leave far!!! ✌️

    • @happydillpickle
      @happydillpickle Před 2 lety +2

      @@MiriamHernandez-cv7em Yes it is. The only way to be free/safe is to leave with no way of them finding out where you have gone, changing all means of contact (phone, email, social media, cutting off mutual "friends": unfortunately, people who refuse to take sides don't have your best interests at heart if they know what's going on). Wishing you the very best of luck.

    • @lucindaklopper4151
      @lucindaklopper4151 Před 2 lety +3

      It is easier said than done... ask someone who is in such a relationship that is a highly sensitive person and has been so charmingly brainwashed that she didn't realise until it was too late. I need to go for trauma counseling when I get the guts to move out and divorce my husband. It is the most difficult thing to do if you are so guilt-ridden by the pain you are going to cause because together with being and HSP I am also an empath. I understand your message and agree, but as I said it is not thay easy to identify especially if it is really subtle for years until one day you wake up and you don't know who you are

    • @jessi3271
      @jessi3271 Před 2 lety +1

      @@lucindaklopper4151 I'm going through the same thing as I have twice can't believe I'm going through it again, bless you and I agree with what you're saying, there's signs but then there isn't at the same time.. it's unexplainable really then you're just left in shock. It's weird!

  • @michellerene951
    @michellerene951 Před rokem +3

    I've been there, a few times. There's nothing more freeing than finding the inner strength to finally leave the situation and the person who is trying to damage you.

  • @ewaczarnecka2618
    @ewaczarnecka2618 Před 10 měsíci +1

    I have lived this every single day for the last year and nine months.

  • @honeyhoney1252
    @honeyhoney1252 Před 2 lety +6

    My ex was nice at the beginning but soon as we was married he changed like flicker of the switch, he abused me rapped me put a plastic bag over my head tied me up lucky my late father found me in time with 6 week old baby at my side he saved my life but the flash backs comes back the nightmares i rather be happy on my own then be in a relationship my ex destroyed my trust in men, i still getting help the judge made a power of arrest against him for life,i moved area start fresh with my girls and at peace now

  • @coreyanderson7424
    @coreyanderson7424 Před 2 lety +16

    I actually started smoking after what I think is, or was abuse. From a Covert Narcissist. At least, that's what I think she is. The rages she would go into, and the passive aggressive stuff got to be too much after a while. And one day, she had done some things again to me, and treated me like crap again, and somehow I was given a cigarette at a gas station to calm my anger. I started smoking sometime after that. Been smoking since. She's gotten worse with age. Abuse is not just physical, for sure.

  • @mazieswift1683
    @mazieswift1683 Před 2 lety +3

    ~ Im 12 years out of an abusive marriage, emotional and physical. This message speaks volume. * please leave * your life is worth So. Much. More. ( Im lucky to be alive )

  • @fetishisticrose
    @fetishisticrose Před 2 lety +5

    This needs to be broadcast. Truly helpful. Please heed to these and all warning signs.

  • @Halpin2006
    @Halpin2006 Před 4 lety +21

    You have some great cinematography in this short film. Very suggestive.

  • @jewelhaines8842
    @jewelhaines8842 Před 4 lety +48

    Uhhh, there is NO way I could live like this...I feel so bad for people that do. 😪
    Great video, the tension was so thick, I felt uncomfortable!!

    • @blancav1873
      @blancav1873 Před 3 lety +19

      I live this every single day it's torture! Walking on eggshells every single dam day! It's a nightmare! I can't wait to leave!! I tried to leave once about a year ago and that didn't go well for me unfortunately so now I'll have to do it without him knowing I know people think it's so easy to just pack up n leave but in my situation it's not that easy. Plus I have two disabled Lil girls it makes it even harder plus no help from family I have no parents to help me they're gone so I'm on my own with two kids it's hard I pray I'm able to walk away safely soon 🙏

    • @jewelhaines8842
      @jewelhaines8842 Před 3 lety +7

      @@blancav1873
      I'm SO sorry. I pray you and your daughters are able to get out. Is there a shelter where you live??

    • @farahsummers1171
      @farahsummers1171 Před 2 lety +4

      @@blancav1873 Are you & your girls ok?? Much love ♡♡♡

    • @blancav1873
      @blancav1873 Před 2 lety +7

      @farah summers hi yes we are ok as ok as we can be I guess still hanging in there I'm in the process of trying to buy a home for me and my girls if God willing that dream should come true that will be the key to my freedom my beautiful sweet freedom!! Thankyou so much for taking the time to reach out to me. That really means alot!!! God bless!! I hope you are well I hope you are happy And free! 😊🙏❤️

    • @nicky2591
      @nicky2591 Před 2 lety +6

      @@blancav1873 I hope you hurry up and leave him ,it will be,the best thing you ever do ,and to stay single , because you don't want to attract another one of these guys ,they go hunting ,for vulnerable women .good luck ,don't tell him it could cost you your life .

  • @thnkswdsh
    @thnkswdsh Před 2 lety +7

    Damn right! Abuse can be found in anything outside physical! As a male I have nothing at my defense, ever, against my childrens mothers threats for up till today... 10 years of mental abuse. Not the police, socialservice or any other agancy has taken no others part than the mothers at start! But the truth comes at the end. But long after!

  • @m.ggonzalez925
    @m.ggonzalez925 Před 2 lety +8

    Do not allow your partner to manipulate and control you because it makes your life miserable. A good relationship should be balanced. Leave them when you detect their narcissistic behavior earlier in your relationship because someday you will be their prisoner.

  • @yeshuarules8154
    @yeshuarules8154 Před 2 lety +5

    In the first 3 minutes, if you are in anything like this. JUST LEAVE. Better to be alone than in this kind of hell.

  • @chezza2116
    @chezza2116 Před 4 lety +29

    2 years ago I got away from my abuser... we have a son together... he still controls and belittles me to this day

    • @thefighter8884
      @thefighter8884 Před 4 lety +3

      Lmfao

    • @irraxxa1677
      @irraxxa1677 Před 4 lety +3

      The fighter 888 bruh-

    • @benchapman91
      @benchapman91 Před 4 lety +2

    • @thefighter8884
      @thefighter8884 Před 4 lety +1

      @@irraxxa1677 it's attention seeker mate can't u see " we have son " he stills controls me " lmfao

    • @lydiapayne7531
      @lydiapayne7531 Před 3 lety +3

      I'm sorry sweetheart. ❤️ I love you God loves you. You're a good mother

  • @artmeacademywiththesaltyse9537

    She’s reflecting on the golden era. Wanting that initial love bombing. It’ll never return, he loves the control.

  • @laremi3577
    @laremi3577 Před 2 lety +4

    Exceptional actors !

  • @redwoods7370
    @redwoods7370 Před 2 lety +6

    Women in the West get strong and get good educations so you can make your own money and take care of yourself and your children. I know this is simplistic but it worked for me and has worked for others. Harder for women in Eastern cultures but not impossible.

  • @lajuanjackson24
    @lajuanjackson24 Před 2 lety +8

    This is powerful, people don't understand how this can happen, but it's an over time kind of situation and by the time you yourself understand, your entire circle of peeps see you a whole different way as a couple, it's not even enabling when you don't get it for so long. It's sad really sad. I'm learning so much from these from my early childhood and no wonder I've done the things the way I have. Domestic violence is like a cancer, it just eats away at your very soul and core. We really have to come together, so the younger generations don't repeat us. I appreciate your video. God bless you.

  • @JST-bc5te
    @JST-bc5te Před 3 lety +52

    Oh My Gosh, this is me right now. My husband watches my every move and he says he can do what he wants. I get a little each month and now he says that I will have to pay for house repairs he has money but he says he does not. He told awhile back that I was responsible for my health care. I am trying to get financing assistance.

    • @hannie6486
      @hannie6486 Před 3 lety +14

      I hope you're in a better situation now, if you want, I could pray for you.

    • @JaneA544
      @JaneA544 Před 2 lety +9

      Please try to leave, your partner is not worth living like that, I hope you are in a better situation

    • @trinitywright7122
      @trinitywright7122 Před 2 lety +8

      Get out. Run.

    • @wisdomknowledgelover6293
      @wisdomknowledgelover6293 Před 2 lety +5

      My Ex husband told me he would no longer pay for my bills ..(the gym, car repairs, gas, any clothing.. ) I was not allowed to drive his car but he would not help me get mine fixed so I could get work...

    • @jessicavargas5535
      @jessicavargas5535 Před 4 měsíci

      Hi beautiful soul, how are you healing now.

  • @jodifloria6647
    @jodifloria6647 Před 3 lety +21

    This is my life .. only my husband insults me as he comes in and finds fault in everything.. nothing I do is good .. and I told him many times to leave my apt . He won't pay for anything except things for himself. He calls me names but I'm thick skinned and he will not wear me down ..

    • @mariancounsellor
      @mariancounsellor Před 2 lety +7

      Have you considered getting a divorce from him? It’s not just about wearing you down but what about having a good quality of life?

    • @jodifloria6647
      @jodifloria6647 Před 2 lety +13

      @@mariancounsellor I have divorced . Just waiting the decree from judge .

  • @sabrinay9430
    @sabrinay9430 Před 2 lety +4

    People like that are insecure, unhappy people. Why would you want to control and abuse someone. What about love? You ever tried loving someone? I feel sad for them really.

  • @tubereuse_criminelle
    @tubereuse_criminelle Před 2 lety +4

    This is a very good film, the most destructive abuse is not physical, it's emotional and ... not as obvious, even for victims. Especially if victims are children and abusers are parents who are doing everything "for the sake of children".

  • @zohryakanowah3324
    @zohryakanowah3324 Před 4 lety +45

    dont let a man control you,..youre not a puppet

    • @thefighter8884
      @thefighter8884 Před 4 lety

      She shouldn't be smoking

    • @terrortower666
      @terrortower666 Před 4 lety +4

      zohrya kanowah And don’t let a woman control you. Anyone should get help in controlling relationships. ANYONE.

    • @zohryakanowah3324
      @zohryakanowah3324 Před 4 lety +1

      @@terrortower666 sure

    • @zohryakanowah3324
      @zohryakanowah3324 Před 3 lety

      @Nick Nation kind of...but in 1 side,..like in an abusive or controlling relationship,..Sure its both,..in this world, its both. But certainly its the majority of men who control. I dare to say.

    • @jerrymorganjr
      @jerrymorganjr Před 3 lety +2

      Don’t let anyone control you.

  • @gilgamesh7055
    @gilgamesh7055 Před 3 lety +38

    They start of so charming and perfect, until you feel like your entire world belongs to them. And then something bad or inconvenient happens in their life that makes their mask crack a little, showing you something ugly that you at first decide to let slide, and may continue to let slide if you dont find the strengh you need to Get Out.

  • @carriebell3566
    @carriebell3566 Před 2 lety +10

    They hate when we resort to poisonous soothing mechanisms and enjoy belittling us for trying to soothe the horror they put us though, when we can’t see the way out 😣

  • @artmeacademywiththesaltyse9537

    She’s not a person to him, but an appliance. Hat tip ( Hg Tudor)

  • @evasvie2699
    @evasvie2699 Před rokem +6

    Great Clip! It may sound strange, but abusive levels of control can also be built up in relationships, where you don't live together w the abuser or are dependent on them in any other way than psychological, if they manage to isolate you from family and former friends and you have no one to turn to but them.

  • @jellybeen88
    @jellybeen88 Před rokem +1

    My heart breaks 💔 for these Women Who's in this Situation. 😞

  • @osajohnson1957
    @osajohnson1957 Před 4 lety +27

    The acting is great! Is this a compulsive disorder. I saw him adjust the remote.

    • @benchapman91
      @benchapman91 Před 3 lety +3

      Yh a little bit of compulsiveness from him was part of the plan, the cause of problems here is definitely his issues not hers.

  • @kostanabanjac4896
    @kostanabanjac4896 Před 2 lety +29

    I would really like if some of these videos also show men as victims of domestic violence. As a therapist, I have had male clients who were abused, controlled, etc., by their female partners. Fundamentally, we are all the same. Domestic violence is genderless, so to speak. I do however, know and appreciate that the majority of perpetrators are male.

    • @beckyjade3677
      @beckyjade3677 Před 2 lety +8

      Yes and let's just say some of the men are very good at manipulating to turn the woman into a psycho and abuser by the secret behaviour and they are so cunning and charming they fool the therapists. My dad is one and they are unbelievable

    • @kostanabanjac4896
      @kostanabanjac4896 Před 2 lety

      @@beckyjade3677 anyone can be fooled for a little while

    • @kostanabanjac4896
      @kostanabanjac4896 Před 2 lety +1

      @@ellemorgan1331 I’m truly sorry for your experience. Wishing you all the best for the future. Hugs

    • @elizabethsieling6664
      @elizabethsieling6664 Před 2 lety +3

      Quite true. My husband's ex pushed him down a flight of stairs, punched him in the eye and he cant see well out of it plus broke his phone.

    • @tamiewert808
      @tamiewert808 Před 10 měsíci

      Stats prove most spousal abuse is perpetrated by the male. By a lot! And men are larger and can inflict more damage generally speaking.

  • @JustNath2024
    @JustNath2024 Před 10 měsíci

    Strong play💫👌
    Thank you for making and airing this movie🕊🙏🏼🕊

  • @street-smart2998
    @street-smart2998 Před 4 lety +19

    After watching this I see how mentally and emotionally abusive my parents are and I can see all the red flags clearly

    • @angelavanwynter4157
      @angelavanwynter4157 Před 2 lety +1

      oh fucking thank you... it's always the "BOYFRIEND"... no one ever acknowledges the MOTHER!

  • @dominiquethomas7933
    @dominiquethomas7933 Před 5 lety +36

    You know after the man hits the girl he says sorry

    • @EternalIrisLimited
      @EternalIrisLimited  Před 5 lety +2

      for sure. iv got a script im working on on domestic abuse (this was unscripted) and it basically ends on the apology.

  • @noorodivergent
    @noorodivergent Před 3 lety +13

    I have just left a 3 years of hell like this, I’ve just been released from the mental health team and now receiving therapy for the mental damaged allowed the man to do to me. Definitely triggered me this, please if you sense any of this get out

  • @jacquiventurini7877
    @jacquiventurini7877 Před 7 měsíci

    I feel like is probably the first film I’ve ever watched that actually nailed it. So many others just show shouting and swearing, hitting. They don’t show the cyclic nature of the abuse and that there is also affection, paired with the insidious behaviours. That’s why the victim becomes so confused and unwell.

  • @eyeopeningtruth7518
    @eyeopeningtruth7518 Před 2 lety +4

    Hell, no one should visit. Narisstic man and woman are very polite in the beginning so that a person can trust them. World is full of wolf's under sheeps skin. That s why I love to be single

  • @gracecallowayable
    @gracecallowayable Před 2 lety +3

    All about control!!!👠👠👠

  • @veronicawelsh5313
    @veronicawelsh5313 Před 2 lety +5

    Brilliant film! Spot on!

  • @HFDZ119
    @HFDZ119 Před 2 lety +3

    please add subtitles. I don't understand him the way he speaks.

  • @sassyscribe8642
    @sassyscribe8642 Před rokem

    I’ve taken improv classes and this is fascinating because the male lead had to violate the core tenet of improv - “Yes, and….” - to make this work. Fantastic improv skills by both. They created a lot of tension.

  • @wisdomknowledgelover6293
    @wisdomknowledgelover6293 Před 2 lety +5

    OMG you could feel the tension! I thought he was going to do something worse any minute..

    • @benchapman91
      @benchapman91 Před 2 lety +1

      Where did you find this btw? Had another jump in views and i don't know where come from

  • @DM-hx9ym
    @DM-hx9ym Před 2 lety +5

    They are such good actors/actress.
    I'm commenting on this video to get it on CZcams algorithm.

  • @allthatbella5522
    @allthatbella5522 Před 2 lety +6

    He reminds me of one of the guys off the movie home alone …

  • @user-ld2vc7sf2u
    @user-ld2vc7sf2u Před 3 měsíci

    Wow, this has brought back some very ugly memories, it a very powerful short film that really gets the point across.

  • @seg6629
    @seg6629 Před 4 měsíci

    Brilliant way of showing, .thankyou if this helps 1 person its good enough,
    Well done

  • @cherrydee7874
    @cherrydee7874 Před 2 lety +3

    😔his aura speaks a thousand words😔these people are very destructive 😤

  • @joannelewis8038
    @joannelewis8038 Před 2 lety +3

    How come so many of us have experienced this?

    • @vanessaneto1
      @vanessaneto1 Před 2 lety

      So sad. Unfortunately it's happening way too often. Instead of going forward as society we are going backwards (so much for awareness!)

  • @acolley2891
    @acolley2891 Před 6 měsíci

    They will ask your children these questions behind your back. "Did anyone stop by?" " did your mother go anywhere?"

  • @puspasingh9106
    @puspasingh9106 Před 3 lety +8

    Snake in the grass just leave this type of toxic

  • @AxelAxe
    @AxelAxe Před 4 lety +2

    What city did you guys shoot the film?

  • @doctorshell7118
    @doctorshell7118 Před 2 lety +4

    Reminds me of my ex husband. I kicked him out and divorced him after 6 months. Boy was he pissed.

  • @ingenuity168
    @ingenuity168 Před 2 lety +2

    Just leave while he's at work.

  • @jasonsandifer3250
    @jasonsandifer3250 Před 2 lety +5

    These stories very disturbing,
    This was absolutely terrible and Very difficult to watch
    I Hope that any Woman and any other person’s experiencing any similar situations and violence Survives and Escapes such terrible circumstances.
    Men you must keep your cool,
    Men you must mind your temper,
    Men breathe, relax, and whatever you are upset about... it is simply not that serious,
    Men DONT hurt your Lady,
    Never beat up your Woman,
    Never beat up your wife, girlfriend, or any woman, that’s NOT is what being a man is.
    Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man tough...
    Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man strong...
    Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man cool...
    Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man a man....
    Beating a woman is Not masculine
    Beating Women is NOT sexy
    Beating Women is NOT manly
    Using abuse, and force for sexual gratification, intimidation, by harmful behavior for sexual intimacy with someone doesn’t make a man, strong, tough, cool, or, manly.
    This behavior displays only the absolute weaknesses of the person committing this sort of violence.
    I believe in the Safety and Well-being Women, Children, and Men
    WOMEN Have the RIGHT to FEEL SAFE and BE SAFE
    This is a reply post regarding a article on Assault Against Woman:
    For what is statistically true, or accurate, and even what is not included statistically, and all other crime such as this is what is ( violence against women) Always unacceptable...
    Women have the Right to Feel SAFE and be Safe...
    No woman..., or person....child...should ever have to experience this kind heinous personal intrusion in their lifetime, this seems to be occurring at least according to news reports more, and all to often.
    Actually this activity should be in a stage, or state of Reversal, and NOT Increasing, I am continually upset as well as greatly disturbed in hearing such stories, as I have always have been...
    My Heart Always... goes out to any person which have experienced any such similar experience of intrusion, attacks, and, or invasion of their personal well-being... due violence, and or violent behavior,
    I will continue Praying for the Safety and Well-Being of Others...
    Keep everyone SAFE
    PLEASE BE SAFE
    Your Life is important
    Advocate of Humanity, Author, Writer, Poet, Safety Advocate
    Jason Sandifer,
    Michigan
    MESSAGE REPOSTED
    12/04/2021

  • @tryingtosurvive786
    @tryingtosurvive786 Před 2 lety +3

    I was just thinking when she put the tea down my husband would have said it needed to be hotter… then he says the tea was cold. 🤦‍♀️

  • @msmarks1130
    @msmarks1130 Před 5 lety +26

    I didn't understand a word he said.

  • @nathaliecowong
    @nathaliecowong Před 2 lety +2

    He can't even pay for his damn pizza!!! Grrr 😅
    Wow keep sharing more of this kind of topics. For more awareness. Thank you.

  • @nicky2591
    @nicky2591 Před 2 lety +5

    This is even worse,for the children,and seeing,your farther.beat your.mum and then beat you ,I resent my mum for making us live. That way ,she would leav then go back , because he'd say he's sorry and won't do it again,and she would go back ,the best thing about it as soon as I herd him say it at 5 years old I knew it was a lie ,I knew he didn't love her ,and that he was only using her ,but my mum just kept going back ,he's beat us to,and soon the sexual abuse would start , grooming,.it has ruined my life ,I'm 50 and nothing good has come of me ,all it did was set me up to be used by men when.i.was.older ,and what happens when you stay with a violent man ,you set your daughter up for a life of hell ,not just her childhood,bit her whole life ,you basically destroy her ,and if you have son's and you stay ,you will ruin his life to .if you carnt leave then give them up for adoption.because it's sick ,to live like this ,ho hear those punches going in ,your mum's stomach ,while praying to God in tho kitchen,then seeing her coming running out with her jaw hanging,and blood everywhere being terrified ,and taking 50 years to find out that birds of a feather flock together.im not saying that it's the same for.all.just in my case ,and no man should ever hot or control.a woman .my biggest fear in life is dying,being reincarnated,and having the same parents all over again ,I pray to God that I'm protected from that .maybe I will spit on his grave.Dont program your daughter to go with violent men ,by staying with a violent man ,and don't program your son to be violent,by staying with a man who beats you , because if you do your son will beat you to .thanks mum for showing me ,that I'm a woman that doesn't deserve to be respected,and that I'm worthless,and thanks dad for telling me that men will only want me for one thing ,and they will get bored.as for thinking that victoms of violence and sexual abuse get over it ,they don't ever it stays deep inside haunting them.forever these men don't love they use ,somone to cook ,someone to waght on somone to clean ,to have sex with ,and they will never be faiful ,but will acuse you iv heard it Sean it 7 violent relationships, now single ABIT lait now at 50 ,and to truly,not know what it is like to be loved ,when they say sorry ,they won't do it again,it will happen again,it will never stop ,it gets worse, because I'm a sense they are testing you ,praying on you ,youl end up with no self esteem,think was your farther violent, because,we often go for men like our fathers ,how messed up is that

  • @kimtagliareni
    @kimtagliareni Před rokem +1

    This is me. Was me. I'm finally saw it for what it was, living separately, in therapy but have yet to divorce....as I try to explain, I guess I'm more in it than I thought. Damnit...this is me.

  • @sharonbell8895
    @sharonbell8895 Před 3 lety +2

    I seize to care how someone feels when threatened by the fact I am in control how I feel

  • @anonymousone7448
    @anonymousone7448 Před 2 lety +5

    She was a nervous wreck.Like a cat on a hot tin roof.

  • @truffaut650truffaut6
    @truffaut650truffaut6 Před 7 měsíci

    I can feel that.😢

  • @jacquelynpowell7964
    @jacquelynpowell7964 Před 2 lety +7

    Who tells these men that their wives should be submissive? Their parents? Their clergy? Whoever it is is sick!

  • @Squeremy
    @Squeremy Před 6 měsíci

    What's the difference between an improvised short film and a regular one?

  • @keeleymj9836
    @keeleymj9836 Před 2 lety

    what is the name of the background music? X

  • @Binknew
    @Binknew Před 2 lety +4

    Evil,Dark,Hearts,

  • @nabirahbukhari
    @nabirahbukhari Před 5 lety +4

    👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼

  • @JaneA544
    @JaneA544 Před 2 lety +4

    Wow that guy is really scary, get out, get out now

  • @tamikagamble3408
    @tamikagamble3408 Před 10 měsíci +1

    I would've put something in that tea that would've either knocked his ass out cold or kept him running to the damn bathroom. Abuse is NOT ok. 😡😡😡

  • @annhollander6704
    @annhollander6704 Před 11 měsíci

    Instant flash backs

  • @jonathanlemonwrestlingshow9251

    He’s a good actor 😊😊😊😊😊

  • @carolynmirra5634
    @carolynmirra5634 Před 2 lety +1

    Why can’t you hear them talking?

  • @eg1197
    @eg1197 Před 4 lety +7

    Could you CC this?