Autism, Borderline, Narcissism: Some Similarities and Differences
Vložit
- čas přidán 22. 06. 2022
- Comorbidities and Differential Diagnoses playlist • Shapeshifting Borderli...
There is an affinity between low functioning autism and borderline personality disorder.
In both cases, the sufferer is overwhelmed by stimuli, external (autism) or internal (the borderline's dysregulated affects).
In both cases, self-harm serves to fulfill three self-soothing functions:
1. Reassert control over the dynamic of irritation and aggravation (via the elective act of self-mutilation);
2. Drown out sources of frustration and pain with even greater agony; and
3. Reawaken and feel alive as the self-inflicted hurt negates the erstwhile numbing.
The narcissist experiences periods of collapse: failure to obtain narcissistic supply.
The collapse can be subclinical (protracted and incremental as barely sufficient maintenance levels of supply are at hand) or traumatic (when he loses all his sources of supply simultaneously).
As long as the supply keeps coming, the narcissist is ego-syntonic. The collapse results in severe ego-dystony and dysphoria (often, depression). It resembles decompensation in borderlines (BPD) but, with the narcissist, there is no emotional dysregulation.
The narcissist then transitions from one type to another: cerebral to somatic or overt to covert. This is akin to the borderline switching between self-states when she is abandoned, rejected, humiliated, or stressed.
In the cerebral type, sexual abstinence is a form of self-supply: it makes him feel superior. It is the collapse-induced depression that drives him to become sexually voracious in a somatic phase.
So, contrary to the rest of humanity, in narcissists depression leads to enhanced libido (sex drive).
The types are highly dissociative self-states, almost distinct personalities.
For example: the somatic mourns the years of cerebral sexlessness while the cerebral grieves over the time wasted by the somatic in the relentless pursuit of sexual conquests.
Both of these types fail to recall the bliss they had experienced during the time spent as the other type, regardless of the “sacrifices” made. They misattribute the depression brought on by imminent or actual collapse to the compulsive behavioral constriction of the other type (“I was depressed as a cerebral because I didn’t have sex” or “I didn’t have sex because I was depressed”).
Finally, both borderlines and narcissists experience separation insecurity (abandonment anxiety) owing to object inconstancy. Both also merge and fuse with an intimate partner in a symbiotic phase (the shared fantasy).
But the borderline distances herself from her partner owing to an overwhelming engulfment anxiety while the narcissist devalues and discards his partner owing to his need to separate from a maternal figure.
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com/stores/page/60...
Intention is the difference I have found in my experience with people on the Npd and Autism spectrums.
Is that all? You're not looking very hard, or even listening. Give up on the long overturned AS don't do empathy, and theory of mind (both which have been disproved), and you'll start to step in the right direction. Sam Vaknin know sod all about autism, other than to substantiate is own needs He is a diagnosed narcissist.
I am sitting here at midnight in Melbourne. Studying for psychology exams. But instead I am watching this video. I learn more from you Sam, than from any other professor/teacher I have known! This explanation is so timely, that it's almost eerie. Thank you. Warm regards from Australia
Trust me this is studying for psychology exams! If your watching Sam babe you’re gonna ace it!
@@jazzsimmons2800 thanks Jazz. It’s interesting, but I’ve watched Sam since 2010. I tell *everyone* who’s dealing with an abusive ‘other’ to watch him. He got me through a very challenging time from 2014-2016, when dealing with my now-ex (who’s NPD & BPD). I consumed his videos religiously (almost obsessively).
But then I healed. And I stopped watching him (sorry Sam 😬).
Now I’m back, as there’s somebody in my life who’s got ‘familiar’ vibes which are tricky to pinpoint. I’m not sure if it’s wisdom, age or a fresh lens, but Sam’s videos have never made this much clear sense to me. I was nodding along like we were having a conversation 😂
At the risk of sounding like a Dr Vaknin-Stan, Sam if you read these comments, you are BRILLIANT (I think you know that though). I can listen to you all day 🧠
K.S. you forgot to add, 'And Handsome'.
😃
I wonder if Daniel Andrews is going to collapse not getting his narcissistic supply from his fleeing ministers. XD
@@kalidesu we can only hope 🤞🏼🤞🏼 It’s amazing how many people think he’s still a “good bloke”. *sigh* roll on November elections…
I am a borderline and I am addicted to your videos❤
Both my mom and husband were born prematurely, both having traumatic births, both displaying autistic traits. I thought they were both on a spectrum of NPD, however, they were both affected by being premature babies. Fascinating.
Interesting to read your comment. I hope you don't mind me self inserting myself into the discussion in quite a self centred way.
I was born at 28 wks and now have been diagnosed with bpd, dependent pd and anxious/avoident pd (but only by a psychiatrist using screening tools: SAPAS and MSIBPS). Always had been anxious since a young child, diagnosed with MDD at 14 and put on an SSRI.
Now I'm not sure if I actually have all those personality disorders or if it's ASD with abandonment anxiety and trauma. Also have dyslexia and ADHD (apparently) however stimulants made me worse in every way. I crave being placed into a box and finally knowing what is wrong however I know it's unrealistic to expect any definitive diagnosis or clear answer.
I wish more research was done about prematurity and mental health. Maybe if support was offered earlier we'd have better outcomes.
I appreciate your share. I fully validate you; more studies are a must. Initially premature babies are at a disadvantage developmentally and their lifelong support and care gets to be addressed. Yet, I’ve witnessed some amazingly powerful aspects that none other than a premie baby would possess as well… 👑🙏💪
@@angeliqueholder9731 thank you for your reply 🥰 it was very sweet of u!
Hi Sam, it's terrible in the US, for PTSD or CPTSD people the average mental Doctor, Nurse Practioner will usually label the CPTSD with Bi-Polar. This is dangerous because the antipsychotic they put people on needlessly IE they are not truly Bi-polar just traumatized, the side effects of these drugs will put people who have been traumatized into the nursing home.
Sadly, it's all about making money for the big drug companies at the top of the hierarchy.
That's literally what happened to my step-brother, where he died in his 40s. It was heartbreaking to watch. Eventually all the meds caused so many more issues and he ended up helpless in a nursing home being taken care of completely until he passed away from complications. I refuse to use psych meds after all the experiences I've had with them.
I was diagnosed with Intermittent Explosive Disorder and given Lamotrogine. I was being narcissistically abused in many capacities, not just at home but that was the origin. I definitely have C-PTSD.
The Lamotrogine initially helped me not be angry as often, but my life was very bad. I had legitimate reasons to be angry. I lived in a car in the northeast during the winter and I worked full time, usually overtime in a warehouse to afford basic necessities. I showered in a planet fitness. It was because my mother was a narcissist and I couldn't take the gaslighting anymore, it drove me crazy with rage.
I've since stopped taking it and haven't had an angry outburst since way before I stopped taking it. My mother also died prior to me stopping taking it, so the main narcissist in my life is gone.
Just learning how not to give into the narcissist has helped me tremendously everywhere in my mental health moreso than any therapy I've ever received, and I've been in and out of it for over a decade.
I also had a doctor strangely diagnose my major depression to have traits of psychosis. No explanation, just felt like he sort of believed I was conflating my life to be worse than it was and he put me on lithium for whatever reason because of it. The lithium was wildly non-beneficial and only seemed to have negative side effects like being extremely thirsty all the time, feeling strange all the time and nightmares.
I'm coming in, crying, pouring my heart out about how the very first apartment I worked so hard to get is dilapidated with water damage because the company that manages it didn't care to fix it even though I asked them many times to fix my place up because it's causing extensive damage so I'm living with mold, a wet floor I squish on all day, a constant dripping noise day and night and can't even cook in my own apartment, and how my mother abused me and how that resulted in multiple occurrences where I'm homeless, how my job takes advantage of me because they see I'm a decent worker, how I've struggled with everything I've done since I was a kid even to the basics like making friends or making eye contact, and all I get is a piece of paper for my blood work(which I now need to start getting done because I was given lithium) that says I have psychosis and that I need to take lithium and Lamotrogine from people who only want to see me come back so they can have my insurance company pay them so they can keep prescribing their medication.
This so-called "Doctor" insists I stop smoking cannabis, which is the only drug I recognize to be beneficial to me, because "it only makes depression worse"(his words. But gives me something as potentially dangerous as lithium(he claimed it would "turbocharge" my antidepressants) while basically directly ignoring my actual, reasonable diagnoses of C-PTSD and perhaps autism and labels me sever major depressive with psychosis and went along with another greenhorn psychiatrist's diagnosis of Intermittent Explosive Disorder without even really asking me any questions. Turns out, when people aren't torturing you, you don't really have much reason to get angry and when you get narcissistically abused, psychiatrist's think you're lying and need antipsychotics or they don't care and just prescribe you something.
I guess I don't live in a car because I don't one. No joke I would not want to live in a car. I hope life improves. It's better than the nursing home or nut house, I reckon
@@bighermstick7994 I’m sorry to hear this , we are so misunderstood, my ex boyfriend who was narcissist and cheater would trigger me by flirting constantly with other women and getting angry with me if I tried to get involved in their conversation. I remember the night he systematically gaslite me by talking to another woman right in front and when I introduced myself he took aside and angrily and said “ you are trying to run off our donors !” I spent the night outside smoking cigarettes and crying, days later i was demoted from board member to alternate, one board member said I an anger outburst. So hearing your story that this is actually a diagnosis is scary .
“I wish you a good day despite this video” 😂 hilarious. Thank you! Been waiting for these kind of distinctions. This used to be so terrifying and now it’s so fascinating.
It is a mess. There is so much overlap with the diagnoses. I’ve been diagnosed with probably 10 things at this point, but yes, it all goes back to trauma.
Over 2 years I've been watching these videos....absolutely brilliant material!! Thankyou Sam Vaknin.
Three years for me. Still learning and healing.
I've been watching your videos for over a year now, and you have enlightened me so much, and probably more so than if I'd spent thousands of dollars in therapy. I want to extend my deepest gratitude to you for sharing your knowledge in psychology. You're absolutely brilliant in explaining everything in detail with examples and the entire processes that occur and how they occur in psychopathology. I've watched many other videos from other individuals on here, and even though some others contain some good insights, none of them have such deep insights as yours. Thank you Sam.
A really interesting lecture. I have autism, my wife is BPD, I can see similarities between us. We are most opposite in character though. We do the push pull thing constantly.
I noticed that non-autistic people who are great at socializing, don't notice small details. They completely ignore most things! That's why they find it hard to learn a new language, when you speak to them in a foreign language instead of focusing on how the words go together, the sounds etc, they perceive it as jibberish and it gets ignored. When you say something to them, but make an unrelated movement with your body, they ignore your words and focus on your body language and respon to you based on that, saying something completely unrelated to what you just told said, which looks stupid.
Yes, you are the most handsome and my favourite professor of psychology! 😆😆😆
Very slight refinement at 10:20:
The pain we choose covers up the pain we didn't choose
Amazing video. The last 90 seconds sums it all up in a few sentences. Job well done!
Spot on, Dr. Vaknin, every single word. Thank you.
One of the best videos I've seen on the topic, thank you for this!
Best wishes Mr vaknin, and many thanks.
Amazing. Thank you.
You are seriously a great teacher thankyou for sharing your knowledge
Dear,Sam Vaknin! You are intellectual God.We,all your works followers,are very impressed with your knowledge what you share on this platform.Thank you for consistency with new material.😊
Thank you for this
You are so right. .!..about this madness..
Amazing info
Appreciate you sir.
Brilliant 👏👏
Came across a mental health group saying "catch it young". I told him you can't, unless they are your child.
Hi Sam. I have been diagnosed with BPD but am having a feeling I might have NPD, I have listened to many of your talks on how to differentiate but I am no clearer. Do you do consultations? Ryan
Sam❤
Im overstimulated by myself and everyone else
Most likely I have NPD, every time I try to achieve a goal after a short time I devalues it and rejects it. How to deal with this? Is there any way by which I can bypass this mechanism and achieve my goals?
You are starting to, next time you start a goal finish it so you won’t be looking back on all the goals you have started and quit or switched to something else… Also take a look at what your doing the beginning middle and the achievement … So research a bit before you start something new so you have a bit of an understanding before starting. Then find the goal and finish.. practice with some smaller goals and finish them then praise yourself for sticking it out and finishing.
Do you think there's such a thing as quiet borderline? if so, what are you thoughts about it's relation to autism?
Same question. You’ve talked about how you don’t think there are shy or introverted borderlines (?) ok maybe you’re right but what about those with autism
No such thing. It is as much nonsense as "empaths", "maladaptive daydreaming", "emotional flashbacks" and so on.
@@eeba4538 Which part of "nonsense" you fail to understand?
That was for sure included in many videos so I approach with this question to all the fans as well...
Is the high level of anxiety that circles around being judged by people and just ... without any reason, constant fear apparent in collapsed narcissism?
It causes the repeated collapses in covert narcissism and aggression in over narcissism.
Thank you, Professor.
My sincerest appreciation and respect
Segíts Sam! Help
I'm asexual because of being with a narcissist. He made me do everything in bed and I always had to take the dominate role. He was extremely lazy and overweight .