The True Costs of Divorce | Stu Weintraub | TEDxSanDiego
Vložit
- čas přidán 25. 07. 2023
- Over One Million innocent children experience the fallout from their parents’ divorce each year in the United States. As a “Warrior Peace Advocate for Kids Caught in the Crossfire”, Stu Weintraub shares his "Love-Before-Law" message and gives these children a voice. His idea worth spreading is to change how parents divorce in this country by advocating mediation over litigation and urging parents to seek support from clergy, counseling and coaching instead of resorting to court. In support of his neurodivergent invisible disability, Stu was assisted with a podium, tablet, and teleprompter app. He hopes this talk will not only help the kids who have been caught in the crossfire of divorce-related conflict, but also help diminish the stigma that often exists for people with invisible disabilities. He hopes to inspire others from the neurodivergent community, that they too, can stand on the red dot and share their idea worth spreading. www.stuweintraub.com #TEDx #TEDxSpeaker #TEDxSanDiego #divorce #consciousdivorce #wavesoflove #lovebeforelaw #coparenting #marriage #prenuptualagreement #mediation #clergy
Stu is a creative visionary, social impact entrepreneur, author, speaker, and shamanic energy healer. His "Waves of Love" and "Love Before Law' workshops are inspiring minds, healing hearts and awakening souls nationwide. As Founder & CEO of the nonprofit organization, Center for Child-Safe Divorce, Stu is aggregating a professional alliance of clergy, counselors and coaches to help parents mediate instead of litigate.
In his book, The HEART of Divorce, Stu vulnerably tells his own personal story, and offers inspiring spiritual and practical guidance for parents whose children are being negatively impacted by conflict during and after divorce. www.stuweintraub.com. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Divorce is hard for everyone involved, but sometimes it's a better option than everyone staying together and being misreable.
agreed. that's why i spoke: "divorce is not necessarily wrong or bad... but when it happens, and kids are involved, we must place love before law". thanks for watching!
Yea no. 80% of marriages that consider divorce, but decide to stay together or receive counseling end up more fulfilled and happier. Those that result in divorce nearly 90% end up in decreased happiness, harder times, or no change in happiness in the years to come.
Happiness comes and goes. It is not static. If you expect to always be happy in a marriage, or family you are living in a dream world. The problem is everyone is selfish in the modern west.
Every divorce breaks a child's heart. No matter how difficult it is for parents at the time of the divorce, no matter what disagreements separate them, you need to find the strength to take into account the condition of the child.
Thanks for watching. - Stu
As a therapist, I applaud the talk by Stu as he highlighted the importance of looking after children during the divorce. My own parents went through a horrible divorce and I was caught in the crossfire. If only they watched this Ted talk. It would have saved me from a lot of emotional pain.
Thank you Leonard! It's my mission to reach as many parents as possible with this message so they can seek incredible guidance by professionals like you...
Brilliant message. Creating a conflict strategy when you are in love is how we can show our love to our children before they even arrive. Love this!
Yep! Thank you for watching and commenting.
Having witnessed the devastating effects of a contentious divorce on my friends' children, I can tell you that all involved would have benefited greatly from this message. I can only imagine how many thousands of kids experience the agony of being a manipulated pawn. Please pass this on to any parents you know who are about to embark on the path of divorce. As he says, "keep the kids out of the crossfire". Brilliant.
Thank you Craig!
"when the heart breaks, the spirit follows. when the spirit breaks, soon after comes a broken life"... this sentence says it all!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I hope Oprah feels the same way and will have me on to share with her audience :-)
Would never want to end up in this position with my wife but if it ever did I'd ensure that our children wouldn't be affected. Great talk.
Thanks James
When someone takes a role to address the role of adults in helping the masses of children caught as collateral damage it is profound. Stu was captivating engaging and articulate in the need.
Thanks Mark
Oh, man. I know what you are talking about. The worst thing is that children are helpless in the matter. We must protect them at any costs. Thank you for your honest, emotional and powerful speech.
Thanks for taking the time to comment
This talk spoke to me, a collaborative divorce lawyer and mediator. I was moved to tears when Stu talked about his son's broken heart. The audience heard him when he repeated the idea that people spending more money on lawyers rather than family counselors had things backwards.
Thank you Ginger.
Love your passion to change divorces with children at the forefront!
Thank you Kim
This is a heartfelt plea to put "love before law" for the sake of children. This 11 minute talk is rich with powerful analogies and strategies for healthy co-parenting. Stuart Weintraub has expressed a must-see video for newlyweds, parents, attorneys & mediators, clergy and counselors, and those of us who know families in the midst of separation and divorce.
Thank you Joanne!
Yes, more emphasis on “before the marriage” conflict resolution. Our legal system needs help!
Thank you Kim!
thanks Kim!
I have known Stuart for the past decade and have listened to his passionate beliefs regarding safeguarding the children of divorce and support him in his mission. Right on Stu
Thanks Mike!
I never ended up finding out the true cost of divorce, but good to know just in case something ends up happening, great advice for people that might be getting divorced.
Incredible talk to remind us to place love before law and to mediate vs litigate!
Thanks Lauren!
That was truly burtiful❤ thank you for giving us, the children of divorce, a light . A hope the one day we will learn to go through divorce with love for the children first and the assets after
Thanks Sarah!
Wow! Love it Stu! Love before law! And if you're spending more on lawyers than on family counseling, you have it backwards. Such a culture-shifting point you're making.
Thank you Jon.
This TEDx talk had an important message - kids don't belong in the middle of their parents' divorce fights. The speaker, Stu Weintraub, shared how over 1 million kids each year in America are hurt by their parents' divorce conflicts. Stu wants to give these kids a voice. His main idea is to get divorcing parents to focus on mediation instead of lawsuits in court. He wants parents to get help from clergy, counselors, and coaches instead of fighting. Stu used tools to help with his disability while giving the talk. He hopes his talk helps kids caught in divorce conflicts and reduces stigma about disabilities. Stu's talk was inspiring and spread waves of love. I'm glad I got to see it live at TEDxSanDiego.
Stuart Weintraub’s take on the impact of most divorces on children is insightful and full of great ideas! I wish I’d heard this before my own divorce many years ago. Well done, Stu!
Thank you Rick.
As a divorced, single parent, this message was very powerful. I know you’re talk will help many families!
Thank you Audrey. And thank you for being at the helm of TEDx San Diego
Stu. Your words and perspective really touched me. As one who experienced the trauma of divorce and the ensuing family chaos and pain, i know others who face divorce will be armed with your gifted message. Thank you. Billy
Thanks Billy.
Love, though just a four-letter word, carries a profound message! I hope people from all walks of life truly internalize its significance. It's worth emphasizing that the impact of conflicts within families transcends age; even as adults, the consequences can be long-lasting and arduous, making family gatherings unnecessarily painful and draining.
I was fortunate enough to be there in person to see, hear, and FEEL Stu's talk. It was amazing!!! Blessings to your heart Stu!!!! If we can share this and get it to the world RIGHT NOW, we can make a difference in the lives of children TODAY!!!!!
Thanks Rod. It takes a village to raise a child. Your work with YBANGRY can help parents so much as well!
I like the idea of a healthy co-parenting agreement.
This was a really good talk about how divorces are damaging to the people around you. This talk should be a must-watch to people who need this video.
Thank you. That is my intention... That it become a resource and Judges order the parents to watch it...
He definitely touched on a very important topic. I recommend that parents watch this conversation. We should all learn from what they tell us.
Thank you Jeffrey
Love is a four-letter word, too. Powerful message! I hope so many people in so many capacities take this to heart. And to be clear, it doesn’t matter how old the “children” are. I was in my late twenties when my parents divorced. The slings and arrows between the warring factions cause irreparable damage and navigating family events is more often than not unnecessarily painful and exhausting.
Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
A true humanitarian! Powerful talk, powerful man! Loved it; great job 👏🏽 Stu!!!!
Thank you Treveal! pause and applause when I spoke truth. Thanks for your support and coaching
@@stuweintraub My absolute pleasure and HONOR to work with you my brother!
The world is a BETTER place because of you - I mean that!
Stu opened a fruitful argument here. Very Thoughtful!
This is great stuff. I hope many parents and families are able to watch and see this talk
Thanks Adam
Stuart Weintraub has expressed a must-see video for newlyweds, parents, attorneys & mediators, clergy and counselors, and those of us who know families in the midst of separation and divorce.
Thank you Phillip 🙏🏻
The children is always suffer most, it change them forever
As a collaborative divorce lawyer and mediator, this talk deeply resonated with me. Stu's heartfelt words about his son's broken heart moved me to tears. The importance of prioritizing family counselors over expensive lawyers struck a chord with the audience, and it is a message that truly needs to be heard.
Stu's talk was on the spot and so relevant. He speaks from the heart. Having my own experience raising a child in two households, his idea of having an agreement ahead of time on how to handle a split is genius and worth experimenting with to save our children from the harm caused from the worst of breakups.
Thanks Mike.
There is much room for change in our court system. the work begins in our hearts and homes.
Yep... and the court system isn't really the problem... The problem is in the parents who THINK that going to court w/o working things out amicably FIRST will be a good idea... Thanks for watching!
This is such a brilliant message. I hope people from all walks of life truly internalize its significance. By developing a conflict strategy while being in love, we demonstrate our love and care for our future children even before they come into this world. Thank you Stuart!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. It takes a village...
Such an eye-opening video on the true costs of divorce. It's not just about the financial aspect, but also the emotional toll it takes on everyone involved. It's crucial for couples to communicate and work through their issues before things reach a breaking point. Let's strive for healthier relationships and open dialogues to avoid these painful consequences.
Thanks so much for this...
Such a brilliant message! By developing a conflict strategy while being in love, we demonstrate our love and care for our future children even before they come into this world. It's a beautiful way to prepare for parenthood and ensure a nurturing environment for their growth and happiness. Love this idea!
Thank you very much for watching.
Man that story in the beginning coke me up a lil im not gonna lie when your kids feel pain you can feel that pressure hit you in your chest right away its not a pretty thing seeing your child hurt let alone going through a divorce what a strong man to stand there and let go you know
thanks for watching and taking time to comment.
I consider myself incredibly lucky to have personally witnessed Stu's remarkable talk, experiencing not only the words but also the emotions it stirred within me. It was truly awe-inspiring! Sending heartfelt blessings to you, Stu! I believe that if we can immediately share this with the world, we can make a positive impact on the lives of children today!
Stu really opened one's eyes with details sounding divorces, now this makes me wonder on how different it would be with international marriages.
glad you found my talk eye-opening... thanks for watching
Visitation days are so nerve wrecking. Our children are very emotionally intelligent and can sense everything. Thank you for the content Stu. You are a true inspiration.
Kids see, sense, and "know" way more than parents realize... Thank you for watching and taking time to comment.
Such a simple smart idea.
Loved it. ❤
Such a powerful message!! Praying our world follows your lead and puts love first!!
Thanks Barbara!
It's a beautiful way to prepare for parenthood and ensure a nurturing environment for their growth and happiness.
Good message. Divorces need to be civil and always remember how the negative actions can impact your children.
thanks for watching
It can certainly expose raw emotions and healing does take time and strength for sure.
Many families need to hear this that are going through a divorce.
Having been a child with divorced parents, I appreciate this so much. I can only hope that this will spread through the country and world and have an impact!
Thank you so much. I hope so too!
Mankind Project International and all who helped me to get to the Red Dot so I can carry this message. I wish I’d heard this before my own divorce many years ago. Well done, Stu!
As a child of divorce and a parent who also divorced, this message is crucial, crucial for our next generation!
Thank you for the message of dedication to unborn children BEFORE marriage
Nice work Stu!
Thank you so much!
Amazing talk Stu. This is a really powerful message that needs to be spread!
Thank you Gregory.
Well said, Stuart! As a therapist who has witness countless children caught in the crossfires of their parents divorce, it never occurred to me that there might be a more feasible solution. After all, people of means generate pre-nuptials where there is an agreement that says that in the event the marriage does not work out, the terms are already set. In this case, what is being protected is not money or property but are far more precious asset, our children.
Yep. Our culture cares more about financial assets than the priceless human ones. Until now. Thanks for commenting
Heartfelt and Powerful. Stu thank you for being a voice for children. Take them out of the crossfire and put counseling, coaching and clergy into the process of divorce. There is much room for change in our court system. the work begins in our hearts and homes. Keep spreading this message, “ Love before Law”.
Thank you Bill!
This is a very powerful and touching speech. Children offer suffer terribly because of their parents vindictive behaviour during divorce proceedings. It's very sad and it needs to be talked about more.
Beautiful thoughts not just for divorce but any kind of conflict.
Thanks Sue!
Very impactful and from the heart Stu! Every state needs to make this a part of obtaining a marriage license. How does this get on the ballot?
so kind of you to watch and comment... stay tuned. That's what my non profit org will be working on!
Wow, this TEDx talk really sheds light on the often overlooked aspects of divorce. Stu Weintraub's insights into the true costs, both emotional and financial, are eye-opening. It's essential for society to have more open conversations about the challenges and consequences of divorce to better support individuals going through it. Highly thought-provoking!
Thank you Ron
I'm inspired by his idea of changing how parents divorce in our country by advocating mediation over litigation. The emphasis on seeking support from clergy, counseling, and coaching instead of resorting to court is a brilliant approach. It shows that divorce doesn't have to be a battlefield, but rather a conscious and compassionate process for the well-being of the entire family.
Stu, thank you so much for sharing the love. Great message about how to get through a divorce without damaging our children. It seems so intuitive to use mediation before litigation or to use love before law and not hurt those we love so much,but... Keep up the good work brother!
Thank you
Excellent, the speaker provides a new perspective on divorce and its impact on children, proposing a new approach to divorce, 'Love-Before-Law'.
I think most people don't consider these costs for divorce, great insight on what people are missing
Thanks for watching
This topic is SO important and needed! Thank you Stuart for taking some hard life experiences and situations and having the guts to talk about it and suggesting tools for some well-needed change in HOW people with children divorce! Well done!! 🙌🏻👍🏻👏🏻
Thanks for commenting and for all of your support!
So extraordinarily powerful.
Great message, Stu!
thank you!
Stellar video by Stu Weintraub. This video epitomizes the trauma that divorce actually is. It also posits a better path forward. The legal industry has a vested interest in keeping divorce traumatic and profitable. The courts are all about the money as this video notes.
Thank you Todd.
Divorce has a huge impact on children
sadly.
Never knew these hidden costs of divorce, really eye opening Ted Talk!
Such a heartbreaking situation. Children are very emotionally intelligent. The fall out is something that most people don't look at. As someone also divorced I can definitely relate to this.
Thank you for watching and commenting.
I wish I would have went to counceling for my first marriage. People need to think about their children. This is really something to think about. People need to think about their kids when thinking about divorce.
I couldn't agree more! thanks.
I can relate to separation/divorce. My parents separated but didn't divorce when I was a child. My father went onto have an affair and my half sister was a result of the affair. They eventually got back together like nothing ever happened.
Divorce is truly devestating and it affects more than just the two people in marriage.
Indeed. Thank you for taking time to comment.
Wow Stu this is amazing thanks for sharing! Mazel tov!
Marriage is a huge obligation. For this, we have to choose the person we will marry very carefully. Divorces definitely break children up a lot. It was a nice conversation. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for taking time to comment.
this is so true, divorce and single parenting life is really hard especially for the kids. thanks for your honest talk.
Hard indeed. Thank you for commenting.
This is a very appropriate content to increase awareness of the disadvantage of DIVORCE.THANKS FOR SHARING IT.
Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
Stu Weintraub's TEDx talk is a poignant and powerful reminder of the far-reaching impact of divorce. His heartfelt storytelling and candid insights into the emotional, financial, and societal costs of divorce are deeply moving.
Thank you so much for these kind words...
Wonderful message that will hopefully help a lot of families going through this
Kudos on such an impactful presentation.
Divorce is horrific. It destroys both parties, the family and the extended family. If kids are involved, it destroys them, and their futures. If the kids are destroyed, then it gradually destroys society, and then society becomes a wasteland of immorality, suffering, pain and sin. Thanks for the helpful video.
Sad but true. But divorce doesn't have to be as "bad" as it often is... That's where "love before law" comes in! thanks for commenting.
Aaaaahmazing !!! Thank you for illuminating this crisis ….
Interesting Idea. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you!
It would have saved me from a lot of emotional pain.Well done, Stu!
Thanks for watching and commenting
Powerful message. Well done. More people need to hear this message. Keep sharing your story and your gifts.
Thank you David!
What a powerful message. Thank you! We need to give more attention to our children instead of anger/emotions.
Great talk Stu. So glad I got to be there to hear it in person!
Thank you Shelby! Great to share the red dot with you…
This was such an interesting presentation. I've never heard of Stu Weintraub before, but I'll try to find more online about him.
Excellent! Very enlightening. Something anyone considering divorce with kids should see. Would love to see him on Oprah or Dr. Phil.
i have watched this video a couple of times, this video has such powerful message!
Awesome talk Stu!
wow, what an Excellent video on divorce. Most parents Never think about how it impacts their children they only care about their own happiness. I like the thought of having clergy and/or counseling before or at the beginning of the marriage to hopefully save the marriage.
Wonderful Stu. Would love to connect. After the preschool director at Temple Solel, I became an LMFT. I work with many divorce cases. Would
love to connect. Great Ted Talk
hurts the children the most of all
Parents should try to at least be friends at the end for the children sake. That's what i done with my x.
Wow, that was brilliant! Stu should bring this to the world. As someone who was lucky enough to never experience divorce he brought so many points to light that l would never realize. He actually brought it to life and what he pointed out was so important, about them ending up with eating disorders and screen addictions and alcohol and drug addiction. Not once have l even seen a counselor or clergy involved in divorce. I am so grateful he brought this into my awareness, thank you Stu for such a heartfelt 💙 presentation.
Thanks for commenting
Love the passion !
Divorce is terrible and destroys so many families and if children are involved it has so many consequences.
Sadly, it often is... thanks for watching
Thanks for sharing video about true cost of divorce
thank you