Divorce, Separation: Love your Children no Matter What... | Herve G Wery | TEDxTruro
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- čas přidán 2. 10. 2016
- For most people this means the end of love. For Herve it didn’t end with his divorce, because the love he and his ex-wife shared for their daughter remained.
Herve explains how he told his daughter about their separation and how this approach is helping other families to minimise the traumatic impact of separation.
Herve G Wery started his career as an architect, and then moved his focus to design and film making. A French national, he now lives and works in west Cornwall.
Herve’s divorce was a catalyst for his latest project, which aims to help families, particularly children, cope with separation, any kind of separation.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
I'm going through a separation right now. We have a 2 year old daughter and I've been a stay at home dad for a year now. I'm heartbroken and scared. I'm an American living in Vietnam, married to a Vietnamese wife and our daughter was born in Vietnam. My wife and I have been been fighting off and on since before our daughter was even born. We got into an argument on our wedding night. We got into an argument getting things ready to leave for the hospital to have our baby. While my wife is a fantastic mom, and in some ways a good wife, she's not a good friend. It's difficult to communicate with her with some sort of stress occuring. When my daughter is around, we are usually pretty good, but when my daughter goes to sleep, there is a quiet, a distance and a inability to be affectionate with each other. Usually an argument results in a bad mood around the house for 1 or 2 days. Sometimes I'm told to get out. I just couldn't handle it anymore and decided to leave. I'm scared of the future. I want to be a part of my daughter's life everyday and don't know how I'm going to fit in. I am idealistic and loved being part of a family unit. Now it's seemingly over. I haven't seen my daughter since I left 4 days ago. I'm seeing her in about 2 hours and I'm already sad about saying goodbye. Thanks for reading this. I don't know if anyone will, but it felt good to write it.
get a job and it will restore your relationship with your wife, your a man provide for your family. less stress for you and your partner
@@nthabisengletsatsi9705 Okay boomer.
I am divorced and for us the argument started before we even started planning the wedding. Red flag
It's been 3 years since you wrote and I can empatise very much coming from a similar situation that occured well over 14 years ago for me... but I have always put my children first and foremost and can say that I have been present with them whenever I was with them and even until today when my daughter just got her driver's permit at 19 years old... I am here if you need someone to talk to... take care
I’m going through a very very similar situation, though I have no advice for you. Best of luck but it seems the only choice is to be around her when it’s possible and try to be the best father you can be, although you’ll be hit with the reality that the woman will always win the custody dispute.
He is the kind of father every child needs!
A must watch for every couple with children.
In my eyes a topic that we try hard to avoid but every couple faces serious challenges.
And being true to ourselves while loving parents is a balance to find that is hard for everybody.
Thank You for standing up and sharing Herve!
Thank you Herve. This is the only comment I've ever written and I am truly grateful for your talk. I will be creating a book so my daughter knows she's loved regardless of her parents separation.
This made me tear up. This was so heartfelt 🖤
Made me think of my kids, me and my parents. I was touched.
Hi James,
Thank you very much. Sorry I missed your kind comment. I'm too touched by what you say. I hope you are able to connect with your family as much as you wish.
Thank you. Just want i needed to hear in my state kf mind. A lot of love to you and to all of those who are goong through or have been through it. May your patience and forgiveness bring upon peace and resolve.
A caring, intelligent approach to a delicate subject familiar to so many. The message comes across clearly and the priorities are well defined. This book needs to be translated asap! Congratulations to the author.
Thank you very much Margaret. We are working on it to spread the words. :-)
Lovely to see you and hear you Herve (I used to have Lizzie Limner's in Marazion). What a super initiative and inspiration this is.
Thanks for sharing !
Thank you Herve ♥️🙏🏻
Thank you, sir... you're awsome!
Thank you very much for your kind comment Juan. Sorry I missed it.
Well done Herve
Thank you very much Taor. I'm glad you liked it. We should celebrate one day?
We have drifted past the reasons why. Screaming at ceasefire caught in a avalanche zone. Going through another breakfast time divorce . And we reached ignition point among the stars of pleasantries . Stand straight look me in the eyes and say good bye . Tomorrow tomorrow starts today and we always seem to be picking up the pieces from the ricochet. I will be seeing you again in ricochet.
Why do people assume all parents have the capacity to love?
Made me think of my four children and to love them more though they are grown because we cannot go to others and ask for their love but already our children have us as the ones that they will accept love from unquestionably (hopefully and certainly most of all in any case). Thanks so much for this talk ! Also, in commenting about it, I feel it is universally healing because once we know this is the way to promote all we want and need and dream of in life, we realize that is exactly what our own parents would (and will I believe, even from the hereafter) believe and do right away as well ! Such a comfort to feel this and that it can be instantaneously uplifting. I've heard about a love epidemic and I think I understand now a little more clearly how it will come.
Thank you very much Sonny for your kind words. It is so nice to be able to share this all together. I feel love dimension gets stronger in the process and we can all benefit from it.
Certainly nothing but good news and that strangely is new in itself ! Hopefully all that is to remain though, in good time... like NOW !
Indeed! The world needs it! :-)
Also in coming back and reliving a second of watching this yesterday, I also realize that the magical internal resolve you have to make this presentation is immediately ours. What an amazing gift ! And free !!! Your talk is from the light at the other end of the tunnel we may be approaching ever more quickly our small family of man here. Huge blessing !
Very kind words again Sonny. Thank you. This talk was inspired by my child. Her energy, her unconditional love. Unconditional love is what we all deserve, so I couldn't keep this message for myself. I'm grateful when people can benefit from it.
Superbe !
Thank you very much for your kind comment. :-)
Well done Herve, so proud of you my dear friend. :)
Thank you very much Carmen for your kind words. Coming from you It means a lot to me. (^_^)
@@HerveGWERY u r an amazing man Herve! This was touching and heartfelt!
Hi I think I need your help,I have been separated with my partner for seven months now and he doesn't allow me to see the kids but I miss them so much that sometimes I want to go back in the relationship. It's since the separation I have seen them twice and he nolonger wants me to see them. What can I do to show that I love them though I am not in love with their Dady any more.please help me out.
I hope you found solutions my dear sister, my heart aches for you , it is absolutely unfair and horrific for a parent to do such a thing to the other parent just because they don't get along anymore... My sister, pray a lot for your children and for yourself to get help, support, healing, and protection from Your Lord who has sent you this test but will with certainty bring about justice weather in this life or in the next. Find Peace in His Presence. I wish for you all the best. My sister I send you the warmest hug and all the courage and the faith. ❤️ Peace be with you
Wtf is he saying ???