Do You Really Qualify for Divorce? | Michelle Rozen | TEDxNSU
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- čas přidán 4. 06. 2024
- Divorce is an epidemic and it may be contagious. Too often couples don’t take the time necessary to determine if divorce is the right option. But there is a research-based approach that offers couples the time, insight, and tools to empower them to better assess their unique situations based on a series of applicable questions. For mediators, guiding couples through a constructive evaluation of their relationship for a period of six months can offer them the time needed to make an educated decision and potentially avoid divorce.
An NSU alumna, Michelle Rozen, Ph.D., researches, teaches, and practices mediation and conflict resolution through her divorce and family mediation services organization based in New York and New Jersey. She specializes in conflict management and proactive and productive communications. Rozen is also the author of The Effective Mediation and a writer for the Huffington Post. She helps divorcing couples remedy their unique and varied situations and works with corporations of various types and sizes. Rozen’s mission is to help individuals, teams, and organizations diffuse conflicts and encourage conversation, strengthen team dynamics, and inspire superior performance. Her goal is to help clients discover the underlying potential for growth in every conflict-oriented situation, adapt, and make changes accordingly. Rozen holds a Ph.D. in Conflict Analysis and Resolution and an M.S. in Family Therapy, both from Nova Southeastern University.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
It seems that the reason divorce is so "contagious" is because if someone sees someone else doing it, perhaps they muster up the courage to get out of their own messed up marriage. It shows them that they're not stuck, and it's possible to leave. Of course we all can overreact to certain things and maybe jump the gun too quickly, but I feel that most people stay in unhappy marriages because they feel it's too hard to get out. Of course if children and other assets are involved, people may choose to stay to get the kids raised, which is a good sacrifice (sometimes) for the kids, but we have way too many people in unhappy marriages that are locked by fear.
True but if a marriage is toxic and abusive and you decide to stay because of the kids you are hurting them and teaching them that it’s ok to stay in an abusive and toxic marriage
This is SO true. People stay for the kids, bc of money, bc they are scared to be alone or start over. It’s easier in a way to stay in the known than to leap into the unknown.
FOR BETER FOR WORSE...
A lot of people do not think they need ton been a better person. We all have faults.
And when that eventual worse period come around. Both partners need to ask what changes we can make to be better together.
People want the wedding so bad they don't take the time to really evaluate the person they're being married to.
There are several components to saving your marriage. One plan I found that successfully combines these is the Pavs Partner Pundit (google it if you're interested) it's the best resource that I've heard of. look at the super information .
Nice Video clip! Apologies for chiming in, I am interested in your thoughts. Have you researched - Taparton Returning Love Takeover (just google it)? It is a smashing one of a kind product for learning how to stop divorce minus the hard work. Ive heard some awesome things about it and my cooworker after many years got amazing results with it.
@@jhoncanole6726 Meh, no thanks
As a licensed psychologist, I can say that this advice is extremely harmful to those who have experienced abuse, to include verbal and emotional...especially the subtle kind of manipulation that will have you scoring beyond a 10 for blaming yourself for the marital discord.
Yea but, you would score low in the other two, and her advice in that case is seek married counseling by someone like yourself. You would probably easily identify the abuse. So I don't see the problem.
If there are no "qualifications" for the Marriage License....then there are no "qualifications" for Divorce.
More should be required for the Marriage License. There is no training, no certification, and no requirements.....apply, pay, and sign. Name another "License" that works this way?? Marriage, the Government Contract/License, needs to be redefined.
Fishing license
I agree... there should a class with quizzes, a test and state exam... it should cost at least $10,000... and it should EXPIRE at some point to be reapplied for again??
If you're living w/ a narcissistic psychopath, you qualify....people need to know what love really is...most people get married for someone to make them happy for their life & if that other person doesn't do it all the time, them you become dissatisfied making someone else responsible for your happiness...you get married for love & to serve the other person your life & that's what makes it work...selfishness kills marriages
Not married.. never been. Just a few friends and I happened to stumble on this. This was very engaging and gave us more perspective on this topic. A topic we probably will never touch upon.
when one wants out and thats that, you cant make a marriage work alone
Mama Funk Groove Junky they need to try to make it work then
I agree with you 100% Percent!
Zechariah Cameron or stop begging someone to love you lol
True. You can't beg someone and you can't make someone feel a certain way for you. Nor can you make someone go back to feeling the way they once felt. It has to be both and their hearts have to be in it. .
@@IWantToMature85 Wrong answer pal
I continue to look for honest advice and feedback from other’s who have experienced something similar. Long story short, for almost 18 years, I have been married to someone who has narcissistic traits. Our marriage has been struggling for a few years now; about 2 months ago we attended our 19th marriage counseling session together. At that session I told my wife that somehow our marriage needs to drastically get better quickly, or I feel we need pull the plug and end our marriage since we have been going to marriage counseling for far longer than we probably should have been going; and not much, if anything, improved. Part of me was hopeful that this was going to be the warning shot and my wife would finally hear me; that she would finally understand that I am done with the narcissistic type of behavior, done with the mean comments, the high level of control, and being made out to feel like I am never doing the right thing, never doing it quickly enough, etc. Unfortunately, the few weeks after that counselling sessions things did not improve, they actually seemed worse. For example, one morning I started her car so it was warm for her when she left for work (which I do for her quite often). I wasn’t looking for a pat on the back, but she very rudely said “oh, thank you so much for everything you do”. One day I went and bought a snow shovel and salted and cleaned the ice from the sidewalk. Instead of getting any type of thanks or appreciation, she told me that it is so interesting that I had time to go to Dollar General (which is about 3 miles from our house) and buy a new shovel and salt. I got criticized for doing laundry and putting in on ‘her side’ of the bed and not having it moved off of the bed so she could lay down at night without having to touch laundry. I got criticized for having the space heater on in the living room. I got criticized for eating all the lasagna; when in fact I put it in a Tupperware container so she could take it in her lunch. I got questioned on going for a walk along the river. It was just relentless verbal attacks. By no means am I a perfect husband, I am far from it, and I have made plenty of mistakes, but I have always tried to be loving and supportive and take care of her and our kids. I have dealt with this type of narcissistic behavior for a very long time. Just another example, I recently learned why I was in severe pain for a couple of days this past summer; I was passing a 6mm kidney stone. While I was in pain, I got in a hot bath to try and alleviate some of the pain. I recall vividly her making a mean comment that I was in the bath while she was doing something for the kids. I have agonized over the decision for many months, and probably years now, but about 5 weeks ago I asked for divorce and have been moved out since that time. She said it wasn’t fair and that I blindsided her, even though we have attended those 19 marriage counseling sessions together; I reluctantly agreed to separation for now. For the last five weeks, I have been buried in loving texts, pictures of our kids and of some fun memories in the past, she sent me the wedding song that we danced too, she has been sending me quotes from the bible, she asked that I listen to various books on making marriages work, etc; she asked that I meet with our Deacon at church and attend a church marriage weekend retreat. She has buried me in a variety of ‘tactics’ to try and get me back home; she has thrown our vows in my face multiple times and said that I am destroying the kids by moving out. I have been holding strong and have not caved by moving back in; recently she has been all over the board with her comments and emotions. Seems silly talking about, but we own a car and a truck. For the last 5 weeks I have drove the truck and she has had the car. A couple of days ago she said she wants the truck, which is no problem, but I asked her why; she said she doesn’t need to answer why, she just wants it. She said she plans on keeping the truck for a few weeks since its not fair that I got to drive it for a few weeks (I don’t know the intentions of this, other than some form of power play, or maybe knowing if she has the truck, I won’t be able to use it to do things I enjoy). She also seems to be getting controlling with the kids; she told me that I am the one who decided to leave them, so its not fair for me to ever get both of our kids overnight while she is alone, since she didn’t decide to leave. I reminded her that I didn’t leave the kids, that I only left her. Shortly after making these types of comments, she follows up with a load of very nice loving texts. This is all extremely hard for me, because she occasionally acts nice and says she is willing to try and change, but seems all over the place with her comments and emotions; I’m afraid I will fall back into the trap. Here recently she has been very frequently saying “I Love You”; almost over using the words. She has made multiple attempts to try and be affectionate, which in a normal circumstance would be fine, but not after we are separated. I worry greatly about our kids, I feel she is subjecting them to a ton of sadness and possibly emotional manipulation, with the intentions being of playing the victim card in front of the kids and trying to make them feel bad for her and make me out to look like the bad guy (she told me she is always crying in front of the kids…and even yesterday when I saw her she cried multiple times in front of the kids). Even though I asked for divorce, I still do not wish her unhappiness; I just want everyone to get along and be nice and supportive with everyone. To make matters even more frustrating, recently she told me she was offered a job in Michigan (about 5 hours from where we currently live in Ohio). I am settled here in Ohio now, have a good job here, etc. I am happy for her that she was offered the job, I know that is more what she wants to do versus her current job, so that part makes me happy; but come on, wanting to relocate now while we are separated. I feel like she is doing everything she can to try and make things difficult for me, especially with our 2 kids. It’s just very inconsistent, it can change by the day, or even by the hour; sometimes she is sweet and nice, then there are plenty of moments of comments and actions that just aren’t nice. Random place to insert this comment….but I just thought it was odd; she claims to want the marriage to work, but considering uprooting to Michigan. I manage all of our finances, a few days ago she said she wants all of our bank account log in information. Which is fine, no problem, it is both of our money; I just thought it was a little odd. Not sure the intentions behind it. Maybe just wanting to see how much is there, if I have been taking any, what I have spent money on; who knows?! I’m struggling on the path forward, so any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.
Steve other woman would be happy to have you.
I dont think she loves you enough, in fact she doesnt even love herself.
And please consult with someone about finances, because she is probaly already doing it. ...
I am now about 4 months separated (although, this separation is rather strange as we see each other daily since we have 2 kids together…. I continue to be very involved in my kids lives, coach their baseball team, play with them, take them fishing, golfing, etc). My wife recently accepted a job in Michigan, which is about 5 hours from where we live in Ohio. This past week she took the kids up there to see the area; and I found out a couple of days ago that she put an offer in on a home, which blows my mind. This has been such a struggle for me, and I worked for multiple days trying to put together a perfect message for her, and yesterday I finally got up enough courage to send it to her. Here is the message I sent: “A final decision has to be made regarding our marriage. With you wanting to move to Michigan, it has really backed me into a corner and is forcing me to make a decision. Maybe this is all part of God’s plan, as I struggle greatly with all of this. For the record, I find it very frustrating and unfair on how you feel you can simply pack up the kids and decide to move them to Michigan; but that is something logistically we will need to work together on. The uncertainty of our marriage is not good for you, me, nor the kids. None of us will be able to heal and live our lives with all the unknowns. We all need to get this resolved so we can start working toward a sense of normalcy and stability. Additionally, I don’t want to stand in your way of buying a house, new car, etc. I love you, I will always love you. I will always care about you. I will always want you to be happy and prosperous in life. I will always love our kids and be the best dad I can possibly be, etc. It is simply not fair to you or I, for us to continue our marriage, as my heart is not into it. For sake of time and ease, I want to go through the dissolution process (this is different than filing for divorce). A dissolution is a process where we work together to agree on how finances are divided, shared parenting agreements, etc. It is a less expensive route and can be completed in only 30-90 days, which is much quicker than a divorce. I would assume for your home loan, the bank will want this resolved as quickly as possible. I want you to have a nice home that you are happy with and enjoy, you deserve that; so we will be certain to work things out where you have enough cash for the 5% down payment; as well as enough cash in case you need to put a down payment on a new vehicle. I hope you are willing, but I would like to work together with an attorney as we go through the dissolution process. Regarding Michigan, as I have said before, I am very happy and excited for you; but I won’t be moving to Michigan, at least not anytime in the immediate future. So much of my life I have given to others and have let others control; I want to finally be in control of my life and all of the decisions that are made. I plan on enjoying fishing in the area this summer and spending as much time with the kids as I can possibly spend with them; then I want to enjoy all of the hunting this area has to offer this fall. With you wanting to move to Michigan, and wanting to take the boys with you, this has been the most excruciating decision of my life; I am trying to go about this in the most kind, fair, loving way that I can. Just to be clear, sometime in the future I might move to Michigan, but it won’t be in the near future. I am sorry things got to this point.”
I thought this was a kind message and I finally got up enough courage to send it. She immediately started calling me….she called 5 times and I didn’t answer; she then texted and said please call me, she at least deserves to talk to me. I regretfully agreed to talk to her last night….the conversation revolved around how this is unfair, she is trying to change, she doesn’t understand what I want or why I want to end our marriage, she can’t believe I didn’t talk with her in person about this (reminder, we attended 19 marriage counseling sessions together), and just on and on and on….I was so frustrated and exhausted by it! She texted me this morning and said she would like all of us to spend the day together and take the boys swimming at the state park. In her text she said she loves me and wants us to try again, but also respects my wants and needs (which I really question). I politely told her that she just spent this past week alone with the kids when they went to Michigan, so I would really like some one on one time with them; she surprisingly agreed, so I ended up taking the boys swimming today to the state park, then grabbed dinner, then brought them back home. Once we arrived, she said would I like to have a bon-fire with her. She is absolutely relentless……why can she not hear what I am telling her, she is exhausting, I don’t know if she is trying to wear me down and break me, or what. What am I doing wrong….I try to be so nice and kind, but dang she makes it hard on me.
@@steveg3767 Hope you're in better place.
Steve I had 3 marriage counsellors with the last one being fired by the Ex-wife that she picked. I told her 3 strikes and I'm done with them. Then came the Ex-partee order and I was out in the cold. Good luck!
Wow, this is very interesting. Got to keep positive thoughts.
Over time we like each other less and less...but cheating is never ok!
I personally don't believe in marriage and my life is AWESOME. =)
javier bernal wait until you are 45. unmarried and single
Justice Crusader
Compared to turning 50 and half your assets and social security gone in a divorce?
Paying years of alimony?
Realizing that after many years of marriage was a waste of time and money?
I'm 50 and still not married. Never getting married.
Girlfriend of 10 years had her own career,home,money,etc.,and don't need me financially.
No commingling of assets,no joint accounts,etc..
No courts,government,weaponized kids,etc. to financially ruin me.
Had a vasectomy years ago.
Great $160k career with full benefits including life time flight benefits.
I'm wealthy. No stress. Debt free.
Retiring next year. No problem with health care.
Wonderful life.
karine and co I 47 married and miserable. I can't imagine being single is any worse than this.
I am a twenty four year old man and want to find a loyal, athletic, and loving woman to spend the rest of my life with. That's not going to happen so being a life long bachelor is a good second option.
javier bernal best idea yet
But when the husband just insults me and try to put me down all time and be manipulative.
I don't believe it's always the man fault my wife always says it's me. She is not perfect. And it takes to make it and two to break it
This ladies premise is not good. Don't accept abuse because of her biased opinion.
People give up easier & easier & over less & less all the time
@Syd Barger The 10s of 1000s of studies that have measured that over decades & oh yeah looking & observing society
This is so helpful, my husband I are in the process of getting a divorce, I think I need to see if I can talk my husband into going to counseling with me.
How did it go?
You can give it a shot
Update please!
Classifying it as an epidemic I think is wrong....people might get the strength to get out of a bad relationship seeing how their friends have dealt with it.....it is better than struggling in a bad relationship
Loved it. Loved everything about it.
I had the opposite reaction
I have listened to 4 videos on 'staying or leaving a marriage'. All of them so far have been from the 'signs that you should leave' perspective, without a balancing 'signs that I should stay'. With this kind of one-way chute, what is created is an atmosphere of, 'how soon will I leave?' A potentially tragic situation that these speakers might not even know that they are helping create, although some are quite transparent that they have full intention of driving a fork between married couples. For the profit mainly, I would say.
So did you stay? Or did you leave?
If you live with a narcissist RUN!
Love does end sometimes. I believe that divorce is not always the only option, but sometimes it is necessary. I believe there are times that we are put here to be with a certain person, but only for a while. Then, when the lesson they have
come to teach us is learned, we may need to move on. Only you can know
this, but try to be honest with yourself.
I agree with you.
Edward Hamilton
I can see your point Edward.
Edward Hamilton
Im going through some of this magnitude right now. I have 5 kids and my wife has already moved on. Now in have done some messed up things in the past but i cleanded myself up. I still feel we can recover from this by counseling but she doesn't want to. She has told me she has tried but it was just all words no action. K feel i can't even move past everything even though she has someone and we are still married. She has been wanting out of this relationship for 2 years now. She says shes happy now.
Kelvin Roberts exactly
Relationships are based on rules period. You have ppl raising expectations and making rules for their spouse that the spouse is not aware.
Very true
Amen!!!
Excellent Talk.
Thank you
By that analogy it would also mean that to marry or have children we should also need to qualify which I agree with. Every person I know who has divorced spent years (and often a lot of time/money by both parties) trying to make it work or recover from a trauma or infidelity. I agree to do the work but also be brave enough to face the truth in either option.
Just gotta wait until the last kid is out of highschool.
Temple7 Dialectic sometimes this is worse because then the parents are just unhappy in their relationship and the child can sense when things are wrong
That would actually be an improvement.
I never felt like his family. I am separated now. I don't want divorce.
I am amazed by this woman's public speaking abilities
Correlation doesn't mean causation. For example the high rates of divorce might also be explained by other factors like living in impoverished neighbourhoods. Of course everyone is going to have a hard time there and divorce rates will be high. But that doesn't mean that just because someone you know got a divorce you are suddenly exposed to a higher risk of getting it.
its not easy and quick when you've been together for 25 years and youve got two kids
WHAT HAPPENED TO LOVE? ..I WAS TOLD ''LOVE'' CONQUERS ALL
it doesnt
Love is an action not just a feeling. Many people FEEL love but don't follow through with ACTIONS. If you truly love with heart and action, and the marriage ends the relationship of love doesn't it just changes to friendship.
COZMICTOM
COZMICTOM only in the movies and in our dreams. People will say they love us one minute and the next acting like they never knew you 🙄that's romantic love .. not true love
Pretty Girl_me - I agree. Hollywood love and "Romance" is not really about true love at all. Romance is very quick to rise up and can be very quick to collapse.
Men are like Bluetooth connection, when you're beside us, we stay connected, when you're away, we search for new devices...
Just explaining who you are
Strange to compare men to blue tooth
That make women wifi
@@Diarougha27 LMBO! So true
Huh..makes sense
Why is that accepted though? That’s the problem with couples today. No one stays faithful
My Bluetooth headset doesn't connect to anything else when my laptop is closed ...
When you get married, you have to qualify... oh, wait...
Thinking about having a divorce immediately is really a bad idea and it doesn't solve the problem instead it makes the relationship more complicated. Best thing to do is seek for advice and don't rush things always remember where and how did your relationship start.
So more of a longer divorce process is needed?
Oh my god, thank you so much.
Divorce not necessarily because of adultery. When you stop caring for each other, the marriage is gone.
These days people realize they have options and know they can take care of themselves. So many outlets to cheat and be unfaithful. Instant gratification if you’re unhappy with apps and other people.. it’s insane
I think kids in high school should watch this rather things of this nature
People quit way too easy. Don't really try hard enough to fix
How do I get a divorce with no money and no where to go? I live in Denver Colorado I’m so lost.
Get a job, a college degree, connect with your family and friends to get all the support that you need
And talk to a good lawyer
Boy this hits me hard this topic, i guess i qualified for a divorce in so many ways. i,ve been devastated with this argumentative women for 19 years, and don,t deserve this complaining everyday, she has shown me that she wants to be on her own and finally i just gave up on her!! keep the house, keep half the business survive through me thats o.k., i just want to fall in love and love hopefully my second wife, chow chow sweety you never wanted me anyways!!!!!!
Great video. My wife has thrown things and attacked me. She was arrested. I know I should leave. It’s rough
She attacked you 🤣?!
@@mama-vc5rx Why is it funny ?
She says knowing someone in your circle who is divorced makes you more likely to also have a divorce but why? Because it's "trendy" and to stay with the crowd? Divorce isn't an easy choice and people stay in unhappy marriages for a million different reasons. Maybe knowing someone who is divorced gives you the courage and guidance to put an end to a bad relationship.
TheCombatBunny because as you said you will have encouragement plus it won’t be a taboo anymore..someone already paved the way first ..don’t know if I make sense
Money for man do orce for women
The idea that divorce might be driven by sociological standards is not at all outrageous. 50 years ago divorce would've been frowned upon by our peers, you might've even experienced some pretty ugly social sanctions, not to mention isolation (divorce might be contagious, stay away from the "bitter" friend!!) That being said the idea that you can move on in a healthy way is a great thing and should not be taken in to consideration lightly. All actions come with consequences for good or for bad, usually a bit of both.
In my opinion and experience, this is far too simplistic.
This is a video geared at women. I say this because some people fall out of love and it becomes the falt of the man almost 100 percent of the time. It takes 2 to Love. Plus the 2 people need to define why they are I love before marriage because a lot of people get married for the WRONG reasons...
Please have someone with a real PHD to discuss the subject
Marriage should cost about the same as a divorce. This should easily persuade perspective couples it's a bad bad idea. Rozen is capitalizing on the misery just like the lawyers and the courts.
"But if one day was a 0, and the next day was an 8, and the next day was a 4, and the next day was a 6," you may be dealing with a personality-disordered individual and should educate yourself by googling "cluster B." It is a tragedy that the general population remains unaware of these conditions and that relationship professionals--both accredited and self-proclaimed--do little to help raise this awareness.
So true. My husband is verbally abusive and has been for many years. I have been too patient with him through the relationship and have only recently learned of the cluster B personality disorders. That's when things finally started making sense. I refuse to take 50% responsibility for the failure of my marriage, I have tried to make things better for years. But I have come to terms with the fact that there is no pleasing these types of people. I am now trying to find an attorney that understands this dynamic and so far no luck.
Becoming aware of these people and learning how to avoid them has saved my life. This should be taught in high school. These people are toxic to everyone all the time.
I also think that it's possible to go through similar cycles of self-doubt and certainty when you actually should leave someone, but don't understand why. It can take a few years to work that one out, usually after the relationship has ended.
Hey buddy thanks a lot Igor your comment you have no idea how much you have helped me
"If, however, antipathy or resentment develop between the marriage partners, divorce is permissible after the lapse of one full year. During this year of patience, the husband is obliged to provide for the financial support of his wife and children, and the couple is urged to strive to reconcile their differences." - Baha'i Thought
hearing this speech about personal freedom back in 2016 sure sounds different now
She cheated, sneaky lies, bi polar psychotic, yells at our kids, verbally abusive, no trust, and hostile environment of always being around fighting. My I laws are telling me to get a divorce and gave me the money to file it. My family, is telling me to do it. My wife is currently baker acted. The court issued me an injunction of 100% custody and 100% of the house to protect the kids. I still love her.... but think I qualify unfortunately.
I forgot to mention she also gave me an std. A curable one, but still.
According to those three questions you definitely qualify.
Let Love Lead ❤️❤️
That was a good dress, I mean speech.
Sometimes you wake up in your 40s and realize you married out of convenience. Life is too short for a relationship lacking connection and chemistry. I can’t continue with this lie
I feel Narcissism is brought on by trauma and a need for control. I think that demons are looking for an open door to enter and control people and using trauma affords an opportunity for them, thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my partner's phone, all i did was to share her phone number with (geniustracker) without touching her phone and i got access to all her text messages, Whatsapp, facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Gmail, Twitter both deleted and incoming ones, and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact him to help he is a genius. You can reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701) thank me later...
Agreed
Marriage is a business is there in South Florida
Where did she get the 75% or 33%?
It’s hurt but need to move on 💔😆
Do you need to qualify for marrige...
I don't recommend getting into a situation like that
Tighten this up! Slow and lots of filler.
Nova Southeastern University!
Someone qualifies for divorce in my country if they've been separated for 12 months. That's all there is to it. There are no emotional or spiritual "qualifications" for divorce. I was married and wasn't a "family". My husband wouldn't have kids, or work, or stop verbally and physically abusing me. There are a LOT of married people without kids and who aren't "breaking apart a family".
Getting married in the first place is a silly little tradition. Getting divorced is just a part of the ehole stupid thing.
It's much harder for people who have to split assets and/or have kids to battle over. My husband restricted me from having a home, kids or anything. The split was instant, I kicked him out of a place he was paying nothing to live in. He can't afford to take me to court to try and get anything of mine and i don't have much.
I was dragged to marriage restoration counselling and my answer for willingness to be in the relationship was zero. zero zero zero. Not long before that, I'd say it went up and down... but that was the unhealthy part. That's part of domestic violence... it's ups and downs.
How responsible am I for the deterioration of my marriage? Certainly NOT 50%. I communicated my needs clearly, seeked remorse from him, did all house work, paid all the bills. So no, my responsibility was like a 1 by the time we split up.
Sometimes your partner is actually an asshole, and won't change due to personality disorder.
Lovely Video clip! Forgive me for chiming in, I would love your opinion. Have you heard the talk about - Taparton Returning Love Takeover (search on google)? It is an awesome one off guide for learning how to stop divorce without the headache. Ive heard some interesting things about it and my m8 finally got amazing results with it.
Bye Bye Belly loved reading from you, made sense, had similar situation from opposite end,hope all has recovered a yr.later,take care,steve
Tardis got me here 🖤
Ahh I found my fellow whovian
How do you know you're marrying the right person? lol
Sqrb3arスクエアクマ they should deff do a topic on this
How about u got married , 3 years down the line your partner wants a divorce & u refuse , every 2 years after that he keeps sayin m leavin, finally 12 years later u grant him that , they ask to reconcile u do , but 8mos later they serve u again.i just signed my divorce papers in march & m not going back to that man though we have 5 kids , we l survive.
As long as there's an epidemic of people who think a marriage license is a license to treat their partner like shit, there's going to be an epidemic of divorce.
Starts at 6:40 (unbelievable hahaha)
I don't care if she's not perfect, but I can't accept that she doesn't love me. But we didn't do much to fix it. I just don't think she loves me so what's the point. I could forgive anything but cheating, but these two I can't accept.
Not unless you get bruises in your face and body from the person you are married to.
Claire Dy How about bruises on your heart and spirit? All abuse is NOT physical
Divorce is not unnecessary but it didn’t matter because your partner would not see it like you do, most likely you will get a divorce. This is not relevant to talk about unless you attend it before you do go through it and who does that ? No one.
And how about marriage is an epidemic?
It's a world wide pandemic lol.
do you think she matched the TARDIS on purpose?
What a freaking waste of time!
No one is divorcing the children 🙄..
Michelle Rozen is my mom
equally responsible did she never encounter a divorce due to infedelity??
She never said that both partners are equally responsible. She said if you feel that your partner is constantly more responsible for bad times in the marriage than that's a big sign to get out.
I know of a man who needs a divorce. His wife of over 45 yrs is so hateful and demanding her behavior is killing him with stress. He can't afford to divorce her because he is retired and she is in bad Health. So he has to wait for her to die to be rid of her.
"39 A married woman must remain with her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if the man is a Christian"
1 Corinthians 7:39 (GW)
"10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife".
1 Cor 7:10-11 (ESV)
AMEN!
Keep praying for eachothers salvation. I layed hands on my spouse and told him to be born again in Jesus' name and he's been believing in God ever since. He's been changing for the good. He still drinks a lot but its more controlled now. And he doesn't ignore me near as much anymore.
Talking Legalese over Love.....well he doesn't want to talk about love or even spend time with me, so legalese is looking more promising
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) refers to men committed to self-determination. Referring to oneself as a Man Going His Own Way (MGHOW) is a statement of self-ownership and a declaration that a man has a supreme right to decide what his goals in life will be as opposed to having his goals dictated by others who, in preference to self-determination, prescribe utility-based roles for males entailing servitude to women and society.
*"You can play the hand you were dealt and roll with the punches, or you can deal yourself a new hand and throw the punches." -- MGTOW Rubicon*
Please....don't divorce. That's the worst of the worst that a person can ever do.
And the best if they are being emotionally and/or physically abused.
Actually there is not a man, woman, or child on this planet who has the right or authority to tell you, me, or anybody else that our husband is not our husband or our wife is not our wife This is not because i say so It is because Jesus Christ said so (St. Mark 10:9) People who think they are getting divorced are fooling themselves Jesus Christ Himself gave us His word and promise saying He will not let man put our marriages asunder
Give me a GD damn break! Qualify for divorce? Are you kidding me? This is a joke, right?
I think you just read the title got trigger and wrote this without actually watching the video. Basically all she is saying is Divorce is a big decision that shouldn't be taken lightly. Than she has three simple questions to ask yourself if you should get divorce or seek marriage counseling first.
#1 8
#2 the same things over and over like trying my best to do everything 100% perfect? Then yah I always do that.
#3 is say 4 but my husband would say 15.. 125% my fault (if you ask him)
😴😴😴😴😴
I might get divorced if i ever run into Michelle...looks great in that dress.
If you marry, you qualify. Don't get married.
Some marriages cause death. Just dont get married and be free.
Wrong question, Do you qualify to get married!? Is the proper question
Mgtow is saving guys souls and lives.
There is nothing easy about divorce! I am pretty sure multiple infidelities qualifies as well as drug abuse and illegal activities. This woman is offensive to me. Nobody should stay with a cheater, liar, or addict. Separate first is a good idea. I stayed way too long.
Luann Kelly ,.hey i am in love with your sense of reasoning
Luann Kelly ,nice word's
Marriage should be A direct reflection of Jesus Christ’s relationship with the church. It’s never about what you get, it’s about what you give. It’s about selflessly living for someone else and they do the same for you. There is no room for selfish desires and The word I. Until our culture understands this, every marriage will be doomed no matter who’s at fault. If you’re not Christian, I don’t understand why anyone would get married anymore. You can get divorced online faster than you guy buy tickets at Disney World online. It’s insane.
What if you "get" emotionally and physically abused?
@@adamv4951 Than the abuser is far from being a Christian. So the way its supposed to work is the man is submissive to God, and the woman is submissive to the God and her husband. But that only way that works is if the first part (the man is submissive to God) is in play. Because if a man is submissive to God he would never take advantage of a submissive wife and would go out of his way to serve her. Also people take a wife being submissive out of context. Just means you live a life to put him as a priority, and if a man is submissive to God he too has to put his wife and marriage as a priority. And without faith and reinforcing that faith the a high priority the marriage will end at some point or they will be miserable.
On decision to divorce him 🔪
Blah blah blah. Selfish spirits doesn't know how to ask such a question
There are many couples who remain married how come its not as contagious as divorce? Sorry that theory does not make sense to me. Divorce is a personal choice no one needs any qualification to be divorced but one definitely need to be qualified for marriage and not many couples discuss this matter because usually feelings of love, desire and distorted expectations of a fairy tale ending tend to overtake rational thinking of couples who decided to get married.
Do You Really Qualify for Marriage?
This lady is terrible.
That's what happens when there is no culture in your society
We do have culture. Part of our culture is a high divorce rate.
MGTOW anyone?
After seeing the talks of Esther Perel, this talk looks like the most simplistic approach. This one does not give you that much of practical insights or tools to evaluate oneself and the relationship.
Divorce is extremely bad and shameful no matter what the circumstances are. Those who are divorced showed extreme stupidity to have married their bad spouses in the first place. I have absolutely no sympathy whatsoever for those who had to divorce and instead, I find the idiocy of marrying their bad spouses as rather funny and entertaining.