I think your right on the laundry! Towards the she did only hers , then ghosted me! After one year of marriage and 3 years together, the mask fell off and she was screwing some guy in my house and when I was in bed laid up with 3rd degree burns! The neighbors saw the guy coming in and out!
It's more about the inability to make fun of themselves or allow anyone else to make fun of them. Mine had a great sense of humour with me but absolutely could not have any kind of funny dig made at her. Also was really overly sensitive to having any kind of difficult conversation in a public place even if I was talking quietly. I was constantly told to stop making a scene even though I was as quiet as I could be. It was weird.
One of the little things that I noticed was the way she could fix herself a drink like I wasn't there. I suppose in her reality, I wasn't. I guess the laundry would only apply to those unlucky enough to have to live with one. Borderline/Covert/Alcoholic with chronic acute depression. I fell for the vulnerable depression side of things but eventually decided that the constant secrecy would kill me. Often dropping little remarks about all the men who wanted to meet her for intellectual reasons lol. (She could barely tie her own shoelaces). It's not like I'm nosey but nobody can live in that kind of darkness. Thanks for another great video. Enjoy the rock-climbing.
Married almost 30 years to and she has never once made me a cup of tea and served it to me. It’s like that is beneath her or something. Unreal! There won’t be another anniversary I’ll tell you that. On my way OUT & Kat & Co. have been verrrrry helpful 🌠❤🔥🌠
I was ghosted again by her ( I lost count of how many times) ..5 year relationships on and off, she promised me she had changed and was getting help and she dissapeared again..I'm done this time..its too painful...this was her last chance, she is all talk and no action
Some speculate that he was a Malignant Narcissist. But in my experience, they tend to be more authoritative, a little more direct. Idk, but I think that the quiet, passive aggressive stuff is more likely here. I very much doubt that his wife knew he was dangerous. But Covert Narcissists (Vulnerable Narcissist), in my experience can be very dangerous in the right situation. Also, I want to add, that I think that you have the right idea about these types. Very spot on. One of the best descriptions of it I have ever heard. And yes, "Nice is not kind". I actually had that same thought regarding the Covert I know!
Omg, the laundry thing.....my ex-husband if 36 years, yes. My recent terrible reconnect w/ my high school sweetheart-- which is quickly crumbling because I've seen the red flags-- while we discussed possibly moving in together, while he was future faking, he indeed made a huge point of "my laundry, your laundry." He made a really big deal of it-- and we have only been in a 2k mile LDR, which, as I say, is falling apart, and I'm not comfortable going forward with this. There are too many red flags and things that mimic my ex. I'm not doing that again. Plus, everything you've described is like you've met this man. And my ex husband for that matter. 😳 ALL of this video describes both of the these men in my life. And the compartmentalizations-- both do this. This second time around, I had the opportunity to compare notes with the LDR covert narc's sister, and she shared some unbelievable opposites to things he's told me. Not to mention he has abandoned her and his family, who all love and care for him, he has spent his life discarding everyone. I learned even more truths from his sister-- who has been a friend to me for so long-- and even she had no idea he was this way-- because he discarded her and his family about 20 years ago. I'm so done with horrid toxic men. I am in the process of healing from the long term marriage to a covert narc, and I need to know myself better and be happy on my own, not drag more of this crap into what I have left of my life! (I'm 57 now.)
Weirdly My Narc literally does laundry EVERY DAY ! He will do me and the kids laundry but there is a cost for it . He want do the other house chores , but loves loves loves doing laundry ! So while he doesn’t withhold from doing all of our laundry , he does seem to have some sort of obsession with laundry all together. you feel like you are walking on egg shells 24/7 , almost as if you have a straight jacket on and live in a mental health hospital. We can’t even take a walk together , he literally wants to control how I walk , how fast or slow I walk , and got made that “ I “ didn’t walk on the sidewalk ! But yet he walk daily with the dog on the sidewalk ! Omg and you touched it right about family . In the beginning love bombing phase , he would take me around but gradually pull me away when visiting and now we are in the discard phase and he recently says “ Umm for thanksgiving I think I ought to be just us , what ya think because convid is real and we need to be safe “, but yet ! He wants to drag our 12 year old son to any and every sports try out ( living through his son and only connection he has with son is attempting to get supply from him by devaluing me “. ). A living NIGHTMARE!
Haaa haaa! Good to hear the other perspective. My personal experience with the weird laundry might not translate. Oh my gosh I feel for you with the insane controlling ways. Urgggg
I was dating an overt narc one time and he actually did my laundry.... however he brought my stuff back wet. He said “I did not want to let it fully dry because it would have shrunk.”
Yes, he did'nt do much in the household. 95% it was me. And when he did after arguements, most of the time he did it only half. So while vacuüm cleaning there were still dog hairs and dust in the corners or he did'nt went upstairs or 'forgot' to clean the stairs or my atelier (which he had to go through to go upstairs), doing laundry he forgot to do my things and when he did, his shirts were hanging on lads and my stuff was one the drying rack like he threw it on there, not able to dry. Or he used clothespins on my clothes that leaves a shiny mark on it (after telling him a 1000 times to not use those things on my clothes), or put my most beautiful underwear with lace in the dryer to ruin. It was so sloppy that I never questioned if it was on purpose. He's not an idiot, it was! I thought it was his way of making a statement or sometimes I thought he just thought he 'just' did'nt care and maybe thought I would'nt see. It was like that, everything he did I knew, but it never came up in my mind that he ruined my stuff because he wanted to ruin it and enoy me on purpose as well. He was far more troubled than I thought. After our first break-up we had to live together for a long time, he then started to do his own laundry all the time. When I did it, I did all the laundry that was in the basket. Or every now and then cooking his own meal while saying, oh thought you were out, without any reason. Then I had to buy and make my own meal, because he bought groseries for one. He drove me crazy. Two years later, when I just finally had my own place, I bought into his lies, future faking and pity plays again, just to make me pay for leaving him. He's terrible. Since 1,5 years I live with my mom (again) untill I find a house. My mother does'nt never wash my wineglass doing the dishes. She doesnt drink, I do occasionly. It's just always still on the sink to make a statement. But if I ask and confront her, she always says that she forgot and I'm just making a big deal out of everything. Really, these kind of people suck you dry from energy and from tears.
Hi, it's not that my ex wife wouldn't do other family members' laundry, but sometimes she would separate her stuff and have an extra run on the washing machine)))
Great video! You just described my Nex to a "T"! Thank God I wasnt with him long or live with him but boy is the NS in for it! She has no clue the demon she has under her roof!!!
My ex husband is a covert narc. He was like Chris Watts but he did very passive aggressive stuff. He had the good guy act. That was his mask. He would make fun of me and then say it was a joke. He would love bomb me when he was cheating on me. He would ignore me for a whole day when he got mad. He did laundry but he would never fold anything . He also would destroy my clothes by putting them in with really greasy dirty clothes. My brand new shirts would have random brown spots on them after one wearing.
Totally relate to the lack of any sense of humour. However, if you really want to get one to put on a one of their false, imitation smiles on a Monday morning, just tell them a really funny joke on Friday evening.
6 and half years with my covert narc girlfriend been out 1 year. She always done her own washing most of time. But then sometime s she was in the bath earley. And interesting thing she would ask me was. What time do you finish tomorrow. The reason I ask we could do something. I would say I finish at 3pm. I realise she new what time to stop messing with supply. She was always there at night but the messing around went on in the day time. Never stop drinking in in nearley 7 years. The reason why they are sexually active with anyone his there sexual vampires.you could see her drew in the energy On ejeckulation. She new the moment you come . She was getting something from it. And I don’t mean enjoyment. Looking back she new she was drawing the life from you . It’s bit like that film the mummy . Has the energy his sucked and your left lifeless . In the last year of parting with the narc I’ve met 4 poeple that have been abused by narcs . Totally by accident. And I would say that all of them have been women and they are such wonderfull poeple I cannot fathom why the narc would want to ditch such wonderfull people. Because there s nothing good in them. When I went to committe suicide over the narc leaving me. Christmas last year the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said . What does darkness and lite have in common. I ve set you free from the snare of the fouler. Satan’s devices. God was saying she s no good for you. But it does not make life any easier. But god his aware. Love and best wishes to all who are getting over the narsiss. A day at a time. Mick
Yes... can they change from covert to overt??? I believe he was covert during 25 years with ... this last 5 years ... seems to have changed to overt or even half and half Hahaha- laundry....I’ll just say... he would not clean anything except what he specifically used...ie. his bathroom sink... never anything else.
First time I will disagree. Laundry. Throwing a chicks clothes in the washer is a death wise! Even the most mentally stable lady will rage if her skirt is mixed in with a dude's gym socks. Happy climbing and stay safe!
I think I know what u mean w/Landry. Lol😄 it's quite childish. They be like that's mine . WEIRD. And u try and tell them what u don't think I freaking know that they still be looking dumb. And u left feeling like what did I do. Chile plzz
These real world examples are so much better than academic descriptions of narc behaviour. Thanks.
Wolf in sheepskin....no contact. You nailed it!!
I think your right on the laundry! Towards the she did only hers , then ghosted me! After one year of marriage and 3 years together, the mask fell off and she was screwing some guy in my house and when I was in bed laid up with 3rd degree burns! The neighbors saw the guy coming in and out!
Ya when they keep everyone away from you , big sign . Two years and haven’t met 1 person from her 247 people on Facebook friends list .
It's more about the inability to make fun of themselves or allow anyone else to make fun of them. Mine had a great sense of humour with me but absolutely could not have any kind of funny dig made at her. Also was really overly sensitive to having any kind of difficult conversation in a public place even if I was talking quietly. I was constantly told to stop making a scene even though I was as quiet as I could be. It was weird.
Definitely spot on!!!!
The laundry - absolutely. My ex did his and his nephews only and he viewed his nephew as an extension of himself. He never did anyone else's laundry!
One of the little things that I noticed was the way she could fix herself a drink like I wasn't there. I suppose in her reality, I wasn't. I guess the laundry would only apply to those unlucky enough to have to live with one. Borderline/Covert/Alcoholic with chronic acute depression. I fell for the vulnerable depression side of things but eventually decided that the constant secrecy would kill me. Often dropping little remarks about all the men who wanted to meet her for intellectual reasons lol. (She could barely tie her own shoelaces). It's not like I'm nosey but nobody can live in that kind of darkness. Thanks for another great video. Enjoy the rock-climbing.
That made me laugh
Married almost 30 years to and she has never once made me a cup of tea and served it to me. It’s like that is beneath her or something. Unreal! There won’t be another anniversary I’ll tell you that. On my way OUT & Kat & Co. have been verrrrry helpful 🌠❤🔥🌠
In four years of living together, I never met any of her friends and she only had a few. Turns out one of the new friends became the new supply.
I was ghosted again by her ( I lost count of how many times) ..5 year relationships on and off, she promised me she had changed and was getting help and she dissapeared again..I'm done this time..its too painful...this was her last chance, she is all talk and no action
Hi,mine was so similar.Down here in South Africa long time ago.Thankyou for your videos.
Some speculate that he was a Malignant Narcissist. But in my experience, they tend to be more authoritative, a little more direct. Idk, but I think that the quiet, passive aggressive stuff is more likely here. I very much doubt that his wife knew he was dangerous. But Covert Narcissists (Vulnerable Narcissist), in my experience can be very dangerous in the right situation. Also, I want to add, that I think that you have the right idea about these types. Very spot on. One of the best descriptions of it I have ever heard. And yes, "Nice is not kind". I actually had that same thought regarding the Covert I know!
Omg, the laundry thing.....my ex-husband if 36 years, yes.
My recent terrible reconnect w/ my high school sweetheart-- which is quickly crumbling because I've seen the red flags-- while we discussed possibly moving in together, while he was future faking, he indeed made a huge point of "my laundry, your laundry." He made a really big deal of it-- and we have only been in a 2k mile LDR, which, as I say, is falling apart, and I'm not comfortable going forward with this. There are too many red flags and things that mimic my ex. I'm not doing that again.
Plus, everything you've described is like you've met this man. And my ex husband for that matter. 😳
ALL of this video describes both of the these men in my life.
And the compartmentalizations-- both do this.
This second time around, I had the opportunity to compare notes with the LDR covert narc's sister, and she shared some unbelievable opposites to things he's told me. Not to mention he has abandoned her and his family, who all love and care for him, he has spent his life discarding everyone.
I learned even more truths from his sister-- who has been a friend to me for so long-- and even she had no idea he was this way-- because he discarded her and his family about 20 years ago.
I'm so done with horrid toxic men.
I am in the process of healing from the long term marriage to a covert narc, and I need to know myself better and be happy on my own, not drag more of this crap into what I have left of my life! (I'm 57 now.)
You are 💯 correct. I only realised im married to a covert narcissists after 40years. Yes he will only do his laundry and wash his own plate..childish
You described x narc to the t! He would only do his laundry!
Weirdly My Narc literally does laundry EVERY DAY ! He will do me and the kids laundry but there is a cost for it . He want do the other house chores , but loves loves loves doing laundry ! So while he doesn’t withhold from doing all of our laundry , he does seem to have some sort of obsession with laundry all together. you feel like you are walking on egg shells 24/7 , almost as if you have a straight jacket on and live in a mental health hospital. We can’t even take a walk together , he literally wants to control how I walk , how fast or slow I walk , and got made that “ I “ didn’t walk on the sidewalk ! But yet he walk daily with the dog on the sidewalk !
Omg and you touched it right about family . In the beginning love bombing phase , he would take me around but gradually pull me away when visiting and now we are in the discard phase and he recently says “ Umm for thanksgiving I think I ought to be just us , what ya think because convid is real and we need to be safe “, but yet ! He wants to drag our 12 year old son to any and every sports try out ( living through his son and only connection he has with son is attempting to get supply from him by devaluing me “. ). A living NIGHTMARE!
Haaa haaa! Good to hear the other perspective. My personal experience with the weird laundry might not translate. Oh my gosh I feel for you with the insane controlling ways. Urgggg
Omg spot on 100% you blow me away there lazy cowards 14 years of fake is what I tolerate you're story is amazingly similar to mine its creepy weird
I was dating an overt narc one time and he actually did my laundry.... however he brought my stuff back wet. He said “I did not want to let it fully dry because it would have shrunk.”
Yes, he did'nt do much in the household. 95% it was me. And when he did after arguements, most of the time he did it only half. So while vacuüm cleaning there were still dog hairs and dust in the corners or he did'nt went upstairs or 'forgot' to clean the stairs or my atelier (which he had to go through to go upstairs), doing laundry he forgot to do my things and when he did, his shirts were hanging on lads and my stuff was one the drying rack like he threw it on there, not able to dry. Or he used clothespins on my clothes that leaves a shiny mark on it (after telling him a 1000 times to not use those things on my clothes), or put my most beautiful underwear with lace in the dryer to ruin. It was so sloppy that I never questioned if it was on purpose. He's not an idiot, it was! I thought it was his way of making a statement or sometimes I thought he just thought he 'just' did'nt care and maybe thought I would'nt see. It was like that, everything he did I knew, but it never came up in my mind that he ruined my stuff because he wanted to ruin it and enoy me on purpose as well. He was far more troubled than I thought.
After our first break-up we had to live together for a long time, he then started to do his own laundry all the time. When I did it, I did all the laundry that was in the basket. Or every now and then cooking his own meal while saying, oh thought you were out, without any reason. Then I had to buy and make my own meal, because he bought groseries for one. He drove me crazy. Two years later, when I just finally had my own place, I bought into his lies, future faking and pity plays again, just to make me pay for leaving him. He's terrible.
Since 1,5 years I live with my mom (again) untill I find a house. My mother does'nt never wash my wineglass doing the dishes. She doesnt drink, I do occasionly. It's just always still on the sink to make a statement. But if I ask and confront her, she always says that she forgot and I'm just making a big deal out of everything.
Really, these kind of people suck you dry from energy and from tears.
Love your work be careful climbing them rocks lady.
Hi, it's not that my ex wife wouldn't do other family members' laundry, but sometimes she would separate her stuff and have an extra run on the washing machine)))
Great video! You just described my Nex to a "T"! Thank God I wasnt with him long or live with him but boy is the NS in for it! She has no clue the demon she has under her roof!!!
You can’t quite put your finger on it and no one else would believe you.
My ex husband is a covert narc. He was like Chris Watts but he did very passive aggressive stuff. He had the good guy act. That was his mask. He would make fun of me and then say it was a joke. He would love bomb me when he was cheating on me. He would ignore me for a whole day when he got mad. He did laundry but he would never fold anything . He also would destroy my clothes by putting them in with really greasy dirty clothes. My brand new shirts would have random brown spots on them after one wearing.
Totally relate to the lack of any sense of humour. However, if you really want to get one to put on a one of their false, imitation smiles on a Monday morning, just tell them a really funny joke on Friday evening.
Dude truth
6 and half years with my covert narc girlfriend been out 1 year. She always done her own washing most of time. But then sometime s she was in the bath earley. And interesting thing she would ask me was. What time do you finish tomorrow. The reason I ask we could do something. I would say I finish at 3pm. I realise she new what time to stop messing with supply. She was always there at night but the messing around went on in the day time. Never stop drinking in in nearley 7 years. The reason why they are sexually active with anyone his there sexual vampires.you could see her drew in the energy On ejeckulation. She new the moment you come . She was getting something from it. And I don’t mean enjoyment. Looking back she new she was drawing the life from you . It’s bit like that film the mummy . Has the energy his sucked and your left lifeless . In the last year of parting with the narc I’ve met 4 poeple that have been abused by narcs . Totally by accident. And I would say that all of them have been women and they are such wonderfull poeple I cannot fathom why the narc would want to ditch such wonderfull people. Because there s nothing good in them. When I went to committe suicide over the narc leaving me. Christmas last year the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said . What does darkness and lite have in common. I ve set you free from the snare of the fouler. Satan’s devices. God was saying she s no good for you. But it does not make life any easier. But god his aware. Love and best wishes to all who are getting over the narsiss. A day at a time. Mick
I just saw this video. And just wanted to say your really beautiful. I am female but hey I just wanted to say that 🥂
Thank you for your kind words🙏
@@climboutoftraumawithcoachk8245 np👍
Yes... can they change from covert to overt??? I believe he was covert during 25 years with ... this last 5 years ... seems to have changed to overt or even half and half
Hahaha- laundry....I’ll just say... he would not clean anything except what he specifically used...ie. his bathroom sink... never anything else.
Yes they can be both
First time I will disagree. Laundry. Throwing a chicks clothes in the washer is a death wise! Even the most mentally stable lady will rage if her skirt is mixed in with a dude's gym socks.
Happy climbing and stay safe!
I think I know what u mean w/Landry. Lol😄 it's quite childish. They be like that's mine . WEIRD. And u try and tell them what u don't think I freaking know that they still be looking dumb. And u left feeling like what did I do. Chile plzz