The Truth About Why I'm Still Not A Parent
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- čas přidán 9. 11. 2020
- An honest life update on my journey toward becoming a parent, despite being transgender. 2 years ago I said I was going off hormone treatment to use my DNA for a surrogate pregnancy. Let's talk about what happened with that.
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Love u guys :))
Hey ❤️❤️
We love you too💕💕
❤
love you morreeee
Love you Blaire❤️
Blaire if you do choose to adopt and you're worried about being older parents you could always adopt older children. They tend to not get adopted as much so it'll be a win win
Yes!!!! 😁😁😁
Absolutely!
I wish we could heart or superlike comments. This is an important issue not talked about. As someone who has strong connections to the foster system without actually being a foster child, I can attest how rare a child over 14 is adopted. It sets them up for failure in life and it isn't fair.
That will never happen. adoptions are ran my fanatical christians.
as an adopted child that was taken into a family at 1 and was put back into care at 14, don't adopt a child older than 3-6 months they will very likely have attachment disorder by about 1, definitely have it by 2 and it will ruin your life and marriage
There’s probably a kid out there that dreams of having a parent or someone that could love them as much as you would. Good luck in whatever you decide.
Absolutely
Absolutely. Any child that has gone through foster family after foster family would be happy to have two loving parents.
I was in foster care when I was younger and all I wanted was my own parents. My foster parents had their own kids and I wanted someone to call mommy and daddy too so no matter what the issue any child that just wants their own parents won’t care about any other issues as long as u love them
Unless that kid was non binary. Blaire isn’t the unconditional love kind of person.
It can be dysphoric to not have a child look like you because it has people look you over more. It feels like it just makes it more obvious that we’re transgender when we may want to blend in to society.
Dude, 27 to 33 is a really common age range to have kids. More common than 19 or 20, wow.
My mom was 32 with me and I'm the oldest. I had my daughter at 31. My brother just had his first at 35.
My sister had her last baby at 38
my parents were 36 when they had me then 38 w my brother
@@luxie2155 yep both my grandmothers gave birth to my parents around 34-35. My dad was my grandmother's first child at 35 and my other grandmother my mama's her third child but my uncle was her first kid at 30.
@@ravioliravioligivemethefor5794 my grandmother had her last baby at 40 and her sister had her first and only baby at the same age.
My mum was 40 when she had me, we're doing fine! So you're not old at all.
Same
Mine had me at 39 because she forgot to have one and when she turned 39, realised she was nearly 40 and went “SHIT, I FORGOT!” 😆. Only my mother would “forget” to have a child.
My parents were 41....
That's very problematic, because the risks of birth defects and disabilities are high when you're pregnant at that age.
I am going to be 31 in December and I’m not married or financially in a place to have kids yet because I want my kids(if I have any) to have the life I never did. I don’t like this negative opinion about having kids when you’re actually fully grown and ready.. I mean a lot of us did come from young parents.. mine were 20 and 21 but also mentally still children so I also feel like a lot of us had harder upbringings because of that. It’s a lot of pressure and I think people are super judgmental when women do choose to get pregnant later in life.
My grandfather isn't biologically linked to me. Trust me, I'm more linked to him than to my grandfather on my dads side who is biological
same here, i've always thought of my grandpa as my grandpa that i was shocked to find out he wasn't related to our family biologically it was kinda sad to think that he never really had any solid connection to our family but he was the closest strongest "relative" to me compared to any of my biological relatives heck i don't even like my grandma
My grandparents adopted me as a baby, but they had also adopted my mother. She had me with a member of her adopted family, so I'm blood related to my grandfather while she isn't. Makes for a confusing intro while I was still dating, but I'm happy to have found someone who loves me anyways and doesn't get grossed out by how I came to be.
My sweet little dog isn't biologically linked to me, but I love her just as much as the kids I gave birth to. Maybe more.
so same
If you went through the route of just Joey being the biological father, i promise raising a child from birth there is no possible way the child will grow up and not love you, you will be raising and loving him/her its a natural instinct to love a nurturer, the child wont even know the difference til you tell them,speaking from experience. Good luck doll❤❤
This! This is super important. I have a nephew who's the middle child, and he never really got the attention his older brother and much younger sister get. The first time I told him he was my favorite of the three because we get each other's jokes, everyone could see the impact that had on him. Kids just want to know you know them, that you and they have stuff in common that makes them likeable, and that you _show_ you love them rather than just expecting them to have faith that you do. That makes all the world of difference to them.
Yes, there are kids who grow up with their dad and someone who isn't their biological mother yet they love their non-biological mother just as much as a kid with a biological mother and vice versa.
My 5 year old niece has a step father who came into her life when she just turned 3. She only ever loved him as if he was her biological father. The bond can still form as long as you love the kid and the kid knows that you're their parent.
i think it s more about custody matter IF they got divorced. i don't know for your country but in mine if you aren't the biological parents you have no right and if you divorced you can't have contact anymore with kids if the biological parents is against. and you never know what is the futur
@@Anaxarete is this still the case following legal adoption?
@@troyboison5863 in my country you can t use surogate so you can be adopted or biological but not both unless the mother is dead.
As an adoptee I love my parents, and to me they are my real parents, though we aren't biologically linked. I am blessed to have them x
How old were you when you were adopted?
@@wendywhoisit1819 I was 3 years old, always been told the truth about the adoption too
@@Sirenmoonbee how does the "you are adopted" joke work?
Same.
@@abhishekdev353 still funny
To the child, blood means nothing. The kid will always know who was there for them and who cared for them. My Step-Dad was my true father in every sense of the word other than blood, even till the day he died. Even death can't stop the love I will always have for him
I agree, biological parents mean shit if your adoptive parents love you more and make you a better person.
I have a friend that loves her partner's mom more than her own mother, because her partner's mom treats her more like a daughter.
@@amzile2772 Family isn't always blood and blood isn't always family. I'm so happy your friend has a wonderful mother figure now! My Step-dad definitely changed my life for the better and it's great to know that she has someone special who cares about her so much, too! Stories like this make me so happy to hear!!! Thank you for sharing her story with me!!!❤
Doctors should warn people that want to transition about the harmful effects of taking hormones so that they can make a fully calculated decision. (And for example freeze sperm or eggs) But doctors don't because they don't want to recognize the harm the hormones do it does and just cash cash.
I went to hell and back coming off just anticonception. Physically and emotionally. It almost made me permanently sterile, got ovarian cysts and so on. So yeah, I completely understand why you keep taking the hormones. Even though I am the physical evidence of the harm that medication like that can do, there is no general doctor that wants to recognize this. Only fytotherapists and ''alternative'' doctors.
My dad was adopted and it was really hard on him when he found out (at age 17). Granted, these days people tell their kids much earlier, but my point is that that’s a deep, deep wound and even though it sounds nice and flowery to say kids don’t care, let’s be honest: none of this is easy, for anyone involved.
U lying if this was true adopted people would search so hard for their real family
I’m adopted and my parents saved my life and when I was younger I was more upset with it because I didn’t really understand everything but now as an adult I’m so grafteful for them adoption can be a beautiful thing
Same here. My grandparents adopted me and my mom came back messing with my head saying she was my mom, but I knew her as my sister. I ended up trying to take my own life and have a huge scar to remind me everyday just how grateful I am to be alive. My only regret is that I couldn't help my birth brothers. One is in prison now, and one is homeless but refuses to accept help. Today is actually his birthday. I wish I could make a positive difference in their lives, but they don't want me in it.
So happy for you!❤️
@@trinitychambers8123 Don’t be hard on yourself for something you can’t control. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped and you did the best you could
I can imagine Blaire as a middle aged soccer mom in the suburbs and having to listen to catty Karen’s at PTA meetings. 😂
That’s me! 🤚
Blaire is that soccer mom who brings cupcakes to school for her child’s B day.
She won't be listening to the soccer Karens she will be shutting them up and putting them in the place when they open those dumb mouths and say stupid shit...we all know it lol and it's gonna make some great YT vids so I hope she's still here when she gets to that part of her life...
Or maybe just come back to upload the vid so we can all get a good laugh outta it hahaha
Let's be honest, she will rule the pack as head Karen, no tea no shade 😅
LOL, I hope the other moms aren't mean to her, since I'm sure their husbands will be all *staring* at Blaire!
As being a child that was adopted, it is hard. My parents had to go through a lot. Lawyers, money, time, etc. They went internationally rather than staying in the U.S because most of the ones in the U. S wanted contact with the child still, but adoption is great and i think it's a different type of love.
how does the "you are adopted" joke work?
Woah, you got lucky! You got to come to the US and you got loving parents! :D
Are they gay?
I just turned 22 and haven’t even lost my virginity yet, let alone worrying about being a parent at 27. I get so stressed with getting old and not being in time with others 😔
My friend just got married at 27 and she was a virgin! She plans to still wait two years to have children. Dont worry about it too much just live your life! Once the babies come in there’s no turning back lol!
I’m exactly the same- I also would go out more but my friends hate going out (I mean clubbing) plus these days I feel like it’s much harder to meet a permanent partner out as it was in our parents times. My parents met at a club. Right now I am thankful that I’m secure in my self my main worry is the out of time thing like you said.
@@lolablake9196 I didn’t know how old I felt until lockdown happened tbh, I think wasting life kept indoors is what’s making me feel these emotions
I can relate to this so much haha. 22 and haven’t even had a real boyfriend or sex yet.. this makes me feel so behind in life lol
@@crazygirl2359 I can relate to you so much! I was 20 by the time I had my first real boyfriend but I was 26 first time I had sex with anyone. It's more common than one thinks.
At 27 you are NOT the old mom!
I had my child a couple months after turning 30. When he started preschool at 1 year old, I was probably the youngest mom in the class.
Seriously, I think living in a red state is going to her head lol
@@michelleeper what do you mean?
@@michelleeper lmao how did your mind go to politics watching this video?
@Rebecca Iyoha And they have a higher divorce rate due to the same reason. At 25 your brain has fully formed so it would take a few years to meet the right person after so waiting til around 27/28 to date a bit with full maturity as face it do you really know what you want at 20. Probably not, heck at 25 + you have a higher chance to be aware.
I think because her parents were young when they had her. She is thinking and influenced by that. I think she was just talking about herself personally.
blaire i'm 15 and my mom's 57
it's totally ok if you're not 19 or 20 anymore. the way i see it, it's better to give a child a home for any given period of time then to leave them in an orphanage or a foster care system where they may never find a family
Who asked doe
But she won't be able to see your kids...
19 or 20? I‘m 19 right now and I‘m not thinking of having any children for at least 10 more years! I still feel like a child myself, lolol.
My mum had my brother at 43. She never seemed like an old mum. My dad is 11 yrs older, & she was 36 when I was born.
@@SaKura-il8op lol I’m 15 and personally I rlly want kids when I’m like around the ages 18-25 but I low-key wouldn’t mind having kids now 😂. I think any age you can be a parent it’s just weather you are mentally ready and can support you and your child.
Hi Blaire. I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through in this process. I know it's not nearly the same, but I just miscarried my first pregnancy, and I 100% get where you're coming from about the people who just so easily and accidentally have kids. It's heartbreaking. Your end note about staying positive and getting through this brought a tear to my eye. Thank you.
I'm really sorry for your loss, it's not easy. Please know you are not alone. Hope you're getting some support ♥️
I want to offer you my sympathies with regard to your miscarriage. I remember my mother having had several while trying to have my little sister, and even now, more than 30 years later, I can still remember just how devastating it was for her. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
I hope you will forgive me for including this, but seeing that you also follow Blaire makes me happy. I had a trans person lose their shit on me on Quora the other day for simply saying that there is no reason to fear law-abiding gun owners will become violent over a Trump loss and accuse me of being an enemy to trans people despite my trying very hard to explain that I am and always have been a trans ally. It’s comforting to me to see that someone like you who I deeply admire from a political/pro 2A perspective cares about the trans community, too, especially after having that particular individual try so hard to make me feel like my constitutional views are diametrically opposed with human compassion and decency.
My mother miscarried her first pregnancy a little over a month before I was conceived. She says that as tough as it was, she sees it now as a blessing in disguise because she very quickly became pregnant again with me, and her life wouldn’t be the same if the first pregnancy went all the way through. Wishing the best for you that you’ll get your rainbow baby and that they’ll be completely happy and healthy
Hey liberty, good to see you again! My nephew and his wife are living with me (due to covid lack of jobs). she miscarried several times and is currently pregnant now. Just keep trying and be positive. *hugs*
People who accidentally get pregnant shouldn't be hated though, cuz again, they didnt want it. Not their fault it happened
Plenty of children are adopted, ZERO blood kin. They still identify their adopted parents are MOM and DAD. Give a child a chance to blossom into amazing adults.
adopted kid here. let's note that like 99% of kids who were adopted older than 6 months have severe attachment and behavioural issues, straight up. so it's not wise to tell people to adopt without educating them on how challenging and painful it's going to be.
I was adopted at 2 yrs. I do have anxiety. I did have attachment issues. But I thank God for my parents everyday. I realize how lucky and blessed i am to have such amazing parents. Yes adopting is challenging but I’m glad my parents took it on bc I cant even imagine how bad my life could have turned out in China. I honestly think I appreciate my parents even more so than some biological kids do.
@@cmsvolleyball13 a sad enabler of white saviour complex
@@urdadshog sorry if you had a bad experience but don’t be bitter towards me for being grateful for a loving family.
@@cmsvolleyball13 I'm not bitter. You're enabling the white saviour narrative
Blaire, I was 27 and 29 when I had my daughters, trust me I am not “the old mum”! There are parents of all ages at the school gates for pick up! The main thing is not being the mum wearing her pjs lol!
Thank you. Society puts so much pressure on women to have kids at such a young age.
My mum had me when she was 39 and my sister at 40 lol
There is no perfect time to have babies, I went to college, became a vet nurse and worked for awhile before I met my husband and we had our girls.
...eek personally I think pyjamas for school drop off is slovenly. If my kids have to get up and get ready by a certain time then I am projecting a positive influence by doing the same!
Yeah when Im off work I take the day to clean and do laundry while the kids are at school, not getting dressed up for that
@Kiri N you just taught me a new word. I had never herd Slovenly before 👀 Is this a British word? Lol
As someone who’s adopted and is now 20, I’ve always understood my adoption situation where my parents didn’t biologically have me, but it’s never crossed my mind that my parents (and family) weren’t my “real” parents. There’s always just been unconditional love all around, so if this is the path you’re going to pursue, you got this!! ❤️
Our real parents are the people who raised us, not the people who bailed out!
Adopted kids in Ireland have zero inheritance rights. Only biological kids.
Some families are total cunts about it and don't consider adopted kids part of the family.
I was raised by my step dad. bio dad wasn't in my life, never paid child support. sometimes I have to be reminded that my step-dad isn't my real dad. He raised me, walked me down the aisle, cried when my baby/his first grandchild was born. He's my dad through and through. A pain in my butt haha but thats my dad and I love him.
At 20 I was told I'm going to struggle to have a child. I was devestated, I've always wanted children of my own but something my mum said to me made me feel better
'if you can't have your own child, that means there's a child out there that is meant to be yours. The first time you look at them you'll know, oh that's my child'
❤️
Beautiful 💖 made me tear a little not gonna lie
I didn't start having kids till I was 34. Several of my friends were the same way. 30's are the new 20's! lol
Not biologically. Unfortunately, even with better, healthier lifestyles in our modern era...the hard truth is that 98% of your eggs are GONE by the age of 35, and even if you are super healthy the increased risk of genetic abnormalities is significantly high after the age of 35. Pregnancies aged 35 and older are considered geriatric pregnancies simply because your body is actually at the end of its fertile stage, again...even if you're healthy. I'm not saying older pregnancies don't happen all the time and don't produce healthy babies, I'm just saying that the medical facts about this are quite unyielding. After the age of 35 there are so many more risks, not to mention your body takes longer to recover than a younger mother. It's nothing to be ashamed of though, and If you feel like it's right for you, then go right ahead! Just make sure you're monitored properly by your obgyn to keep those added risk factors in check.
@@mysticmama_3692 that's outdated information. I'm 40 and I recently gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl following an easy pregnancy and my midwives informed me that MOST women are perfectly safe to have babies well into their 40's. "Geriatric at 35" just isn't the case anymore, maybe thanks to advancements in medicine and pre-screening. 30 really is the new 20. And more women are waiting until later in life to have children because it feels like the responsible thing to do. No one has their life together in their 20's.
Though I WILL agree that it took longer to recover (get my figure back) following this pregnancy than when I had my son at 23.
I’m not trans, but going through my own fertility journey and you expressed similar mindsets that I have had. Thank you for sharing! Looking beautiful as usual!
I understand exactly how you feel. I’m not trans, but my cycle stopped at 16 due to endocrine problems. I wish more would have been known about my condition and that we could have tried to reclaim some of my genetic material at the time. It has been a rough several years trying to find common ground about kids and adoption and seeing if there was any chance I was still viable to be a parent biologically. Now I know, after so many years on hormones after going through what ultimately amounted to menopause at 16 my bits are so atrophied to be virtually non existent. It was so hard to hear that. I wished I could go back in time and tell my mom to put me through saving some of my eggs for my future self’s sake. Thanks for talking about this. I’m glad I’m not the only one with these thoughts. 😢 virtual hugs to you.
You're 27... You won't be the "old" mom lmao
My mom had me at 39, she turned 40 4 months after I was born
Same
Lol yeah my mom had me at 27 she was never the “old” mom and I even say I probably wouldn’t want to have a kid if I ever did have one until I’m 30😂
Same
27 is a young mum lol
27 "old"? I say 27 is actually a bit young for a mom to be honest. These days the average age women have their first child is around their early 30s.
As a woman, who was raped and found out she was pregnant in jail, not given a CHOICE, forced to carry a child that I became allergic to, physically, became preclamtic, and had the baby handcuffed to a prison bed...please adopt from the prison system. These women are basically tortured. I live in Texas. My child went to a great home, but I went through a horrible experience. The only thing that got me through that was knowing that my child was going to a good home.
Im so sorry
Dna doesn’t make a patent. I learned that watching my grandson with his stepdad vs his actual father. There is only one daddy in that situation and it isn’t his biological father. Any child will be amazingly lucky to have you as a mom!
27 is not old AT ALL to have a kid! that's exactly the average age. actually pretty young imo
I know! My aunt didn't have my youngest cousin until she was 43! That cousin is nearly 10 now, and my aunt is still perfectly fit and probably will be for quite some time. I'm pretty sure I don't know anyone my age whose parents were under 30 when they had them.
It's on the younger side now, but it wasn't 20 years ago. I think that's her point. I'm 34. I'll never have them because imo I'm far too old. Everyone is different.
Where I live everyone who's 20 has 2 or 3 kids
Sheng nu
Biology doesn’t change, what people *think* reality is, does. Youth and fertility go hand in hand. It’s not unfair that there’s a biological timer on when is the natural prime time for successful, healthy births; it’s just an inconvenient fact of life for “modern thinking” people. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with transitioning; I love Blaire she’s adorably amazing, it’s the denial of biology and how it works that bothers me.
The major issues these days are caused by lack of foresight and thinking more than 5 weeks ahead; you gotta keep the next 20+ years later in mind when making life altering decisions. In other words, you women need to stop blaming unchangeable things for your inability to accept reality.
@@814912 ok 43 is old tho
I'm 27 like Blair and I'm a little insulted that some people consider that "old" to be a first time parent (????)
Proves that having babies as young as early 20s and even high school ages is too glorified/normalized. Thanks so much 13-17 year old girl pregnant trending chanels..
@Mozzarella Ice Cream 27 is not old at all
my grandma was 42 when she had my mom ha
Old af
Literally for thousand of years, the common age to have kids was right after the girl got her first period. Only recently in the past couple hundred years ,I would say, that it’s become outrageous for people to get pregnant in their teens. Oh privileged generations....
I think it is beautiful you are adopting, I myself was adopted and was given so many opportunities from it. I am so thankful to be where I am now, and I cannot thank my parents enough. In a way it feels like they saved my life. I am very happy for you Blaire!
That's great. How old were you when you were adopted?
A child needs a real woman for a mother
@@T_dog1 Well, one might think that, but studies actually showed that kids need a stable family situation and loving caretakers that don't abuse them or are dysfunctional alcoholics or something like that. It might in many cases be ideal if this is offered by the birth parents, but if this isn't possible, I think it is just as good to give them to well-chosen adoption parents.
You forget the "incentive to stay" is LOVE. Kids don't give a damn about DNA matching or who's name is on a birth certificate. They only care about who LOVE them. ❤
Girl, if it makes you feel better, even DNA won't hold a connection if the person with that DNA is shitty. It's about the times spent together. But I am very glad you guys are considering adoption. Too many kids need a home.
Exactly! Lots of people who shouldn’t have had kids do and having a biological connection means nothing if there’s no emotional connection!
Yeah the DNA is not responsible for anything regarding relationship bonding. It doesn't give you any boosts on its own.
There are no differences in brain changes and oxytocin levels between bio and non bio parents when it comes to the child they decide its their own
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb 💖💖
Mmm, well I've taken genetics, I know alot of people don't like to hear science, cus scientific law goes against their beliefs, but we can't say DNA doesn't matter. It actually does, because DNA can predetermine how a child grows up, and sometimes kids don't end up exactly 50/ 50 as most people believe, there are chances that a person may be more like their mother than their father vice versa. If you have a parent that's a serial killer, there is a chance that the child may develop like said parent, and this is very common in males (even gender plays a role). To make it simpler to understand, dogs for example, parents are everything in dogs, that's how we developed dogs in the first place, we took the most human compatible dog and bred it and continued to pass on the gene to produce more and more human compatible dogs, that's how evolution works. So yeah... DNA matters alot. But hey, how you raise ur kids matters a whole lot as well, now the good thing is that unlike dogs, people are a little bit better when it comes to nature vs. nurture. But still, alot of it has to do with nature. Girls vs. Boys for example, when I taught a kids Jiu Jitsu class, I found it more difficult to work with young girls, and this is very common in sports, it really doesn't have anything to do with them being bad, lemme explain, if I tell a little boy to tackel a dummy, 8/ 10 that boy will do it instantly. If I tell girl to do it, she'll question it, and if they don't question it, they hesitate on doing the task. Keep in mind these are for multiple kids, ages 4 - 10, all the way to adulthood, it's easier to teach men than women, because men don't hesitate as much as women and they don't ask as many questions as men. So nature in my opinion plays a bigger role than most people think. I never said bigger than nurture, I said bigger than most people think.
Walking Corpse I think maybe you missed the point? No one here is debating nature vs nurture? Just saying that a biological connection doesn’t mean the parent loves their child, and someone can bond with and love a child that isn’t biologically related.
Adoption is a great option. Giving a child a home & love is true humanity.
And a second chance
Absolutely!! I think it should be seen as a valid option for more people, I wish that even fertile heterosexual couples would consider it as their first option because there are SO many kids in need of loving families.
And the system isn’t great :(
KreeZafi well they can do both
@@princesspinhead4516 Sure they can, though we already have more than enough people so it's not really ideal to produce more
Adoption through foster care is practically free the state would pay for everything and those kids really need homes
Those children come with a heap of trauma. If you aren't prepared to handle children like that it's best to avoid that route. I worked for DFPS (department of family protective services) those children need so much more than love.
@@Megan-tz1uq then why discourage people ? Saying that creates a stigma as a former foster kid not all of us come with heaps of trauma. 😐
@@Megan-tz1uq no all those those kids need is love you discussed me those kids the way your talking is like you think those kids are just baggage and trubale and just a hassle dose not surprise me most workers only see the kids as money pits there kids and they have just as much of a right to be loved and raised in a loving home
@@Dangersdi I was being realistic. If you cannot handle that, oh well. People should not jump to foster children without being properly prepared. If you cannot handle a possibly traumatized child do not consider fostering. Its not the children's fault that they are in the system. It adults fault. Only open your home if you are prepared.
@@Dangersdi she wasn’t trying to discourage anyone ! She was saying that a lot of children in the system come from troubled homes and may have some trauma. Some people are not prepared to handle children with trauma. Unfortunately, there are circumstances that foster parents cannot handle the children and send them back or harm them.
So no, they don’t only need love. Some kids need therapy, and a lot more resources than some people can provide.
My Mother was 31 when I was born and 44 when my brother was born. My ex was 32 when I married her, 33 when my oldest son was born and 37 when my youngest son was born. You're both still young.
My mother was almost 40 before having me, you'd hardly be old.
Same
Same! My mom was 41
same here! 39 strong!
around 40 is a lil old, more risk of disorders.
@@travistarp7466 many people were born from 40yr olds - myself included, I'm a normal person lol 🤷♀️😅
Even if your future children only have Joey's DNA, you"ll still be their mother, and that is a bond wayyyyyyy stronger than blood/DNA. Just make sure you sign their birth certificates, and you'll have just as much legal right to them in addition to that maternal right.
Signing the birth certificate doesn't guarantee rights. That's not michigan law for example. Just a heads up to check into it in your area.
@@steph3098 You're 100% right that if they do decide to go down that route, Blaire should look into the actual laws where they live. I meant to speak generally in reference to signing the birth certificate
@@steph3098 really where I am if you sign the birth certificate you are the legal father even if it's proven you aren't the bio father later.
Ummmm I would look really close into any of that especially because a seraget is involved.. yes they sign over their rights .But if something would happen later on down the road and the relationship went bad abd got nasty. I don't think she would have any legal rights or protection to have part or full custody for a child that biologically is not hers in any way .... ** And just another note when referring to any rights in regards to LGBTQ+ and trans the Conservative right side that Blair supports don't want those groups to have any rights for these kinds of things or any rights in general !!!! Just sayin !!
@@DOCDOCFLAMINGOS I think if she's the legal mother then she should have just as much right as the father, regardless of the biology. I absolutely hate her politics though, don't worry 😂
I'm 27 now and my mom adopted me like before I was born. She brought me home from the hospital. She has been my best friend my whole life and still is now so coming from actual experience. Adoption doesn't make the connection any less. If you raise your kid in a loving home trust me they love you and be connected to you just as much as a biological child. I hope you have luck with becoming a parent because I think you'll make a great mom!
Edit:Also my mom adopted me at 36 and my brother at 37..so I definitely don't think 27 is old at all.
Infertility should not be taboo, it's a struggle that so many go through.
My husband and I got pregnant shortly after my cousin shared her struggle with infertility with our family. I remember crying while reading her story. I was sad for her and realizing how grateful I felt. I reached out to her personally to give her our news and to give her a heads up that I would be doing the obligatory facebook announcement soon.
God blessed her with a healthy pregnancy shortly after and we got to experience it together, in a way.
Good luck on your journey to parenthood!
Obligatory facebook announcement? What is that?
Hey Blaire! I’m a trans-racial adoptee and I highly recommend adopting. I’m not blood related to any of my siblings but it doesn’t matter, they’re my parents and my family & I couldn’t be luckier. I wasn’t adopted until my parents where 40 & 42. Don’t let age scare you!
I will definitely admit that adoption can be a hard process. My adoption wasn’t finalized until I was 3 and I was in foster care for 4 weeks. It was a battle but I was placed in the place that was meant for me.
@Icecream_toaster it means you’re adopted by people a different race than you
@Icecream_toaster The term "transracial" in the adoption world isn't the term you're thinking of (which is the insane thought that one can switch races if they believe they're another race).
In the adoption world, a "transracial adoptee" is a person who was adopted by parents of a different race than they are.
yt has been deleting my cmnts but if u see this OP: how do/did you feel growing up with older parents?? Realistically, I feel that may be the age my partner and I go about having kids w how busy life is... it just scares me to think it wouldn't be fair to the kiddo (s). :/ any insight appreciated, but totally respect you choosing not to share :) xo
@@ashhillman1797 ah! I thought it was like white trans people for some reason
@@mary__simone no matter how busy things can get a child is a blessing, if you’re not ready to commit to adoption fostering a child is always an option! ❤️
The main thing about just your man having a biological child: it's not about who the biological parents are, it's about who they call mom and dad.
Or dad and dad and mom and mom. But yes, biology doesn't matter when it comes to children. Family friends of me have gotten a son 3 years ago, and I love the little guy like he is my nephew. Children don't even understand the concept of biological children, they only care about the people who are there for them and who love them.
@Chad Mower I disagree. Many men are always happy to step up and be a father to their children. Even to children that aren't theirs.
@@Levi_is_Smol a child needs a mother and father
@@a.kamileon What about the countless children who grow up with only a mother or only a father because the other one died or they broke up? I have friends who only grew up with their mother and they turned out fine. Kids don't need two sets of genitals to raise them, they need an adult or two to love them unconditionally. The genitals don't matter.
Plus, adopted children get the joy of being able to joke at any bullies that try to use the adoption against them, that their parents actually got to choose them unlike the bully's parents.
My grandma was 33 when she had my mom, and my mom was 33 when she had me. You and your significant other take care of each other and yourselves so don't think you guys are getting to old. Best wishes you deserve happiness and a family of your own
Blaire, my parents were 42 when I was born after a long fertility battle. Having a child at 27-28 is incredibly young! Don’t worry. You will not be the old parent, I promise.
Damn I am 38 years old and pregnant with my second daughter. I feel like a grandmother after this video 😂
Still love watching you btw! ❤
I'm 20 and 24 weeks pregnant. I feel like a child sometimes🤷♀️
Lol I'm 35 and having my first. Whatever, if the baby is healthy I'm not worried about it ❤
I have an 8 year old and she is so excited. We are all excited. This girl is really really wanted ❤ I don't mind being 38.
Lol agreed. I’m on baby number 2 as well. I turn 30 next month, but I’ve thought of myself as young not old. I had my first at 25. Most people don’t purposefully have kids at 20 anymore.
Children aren't attached to biology. They are attached to whoever shows them love and takes care of them. That's what creates the bond, not biology.
That is entirely untrue. If you’re a parent (especially a mother) you know there is a biological connection with your children. In fact mothers and daughters have a biological connection so strong that they can empathise with each other’s emotions on a level like no one else. It’s a scientific phenomenon. There are chemical processes that literally bond mother and child, via pregnancy and breast feeding.
@@whatamievendoinghere5804 I am a mother actually. Of a 3yo little girl. Try again.
@@sunziexo I’m sorry you don’t feel bonded to your child :-(
@@whatamievendoinghere5804 dude wtf are you TALKING about? Where tf did I say I wasn't bonded with my child? Yall are weird as fuck I swear.
@@sunziexo ahah your replies aren't even arguments
I hate how narcissistic people are about wanting their own child i think everyone should have to adopt one child before they can have one of their own
shut up pls
@@_sugar_plum I think its a good system 😌
i totally used to think like you....and yes you are correct that having a child is the ultimate in NARCISSISM----but its what literally every creature on this planet was programmed to do----you can decide to be 'better than the large swath of humanity'-
your choice
but to think the desire to have YOUR OWN kids is unnatural or wrong is ABSURD
its the most natural thing in the world---from slug to iguana--to mouse---to elephant---to huaman
will human overpopulation DOOM the species-----
YES
should you worry about that?
No.
27 is actually a pretty good age to have kids, you definitely aren’t too old
27 is old to have a child??? Literally everyone where I’m from has kids in their 30s
After 35 there is a bunch of complications that can come up.
@Anton Glodaski She stated that she can't the estrogen has made her sterile.
I'm 36 and hope to have a child one day.
@Anton Glodaski Does it make you feel good about yourself to be so hateful? Honestly, what do you get out of it? Do you feel proud, edgy, satisfied in knowing you said something that could hurt another person? I'm genuinely curious.
@Anton Glodaski Interesting that you are unable to respond directly to my comment without resorting to juvenile insults. Introspection is difficult but you'll get there one day.
Offtopic but having a kid when being 19-20 is uncommon. The most common age in my country for instance is 26. Or even older! I am 25 but do not plan to have kids up until I am 30.
my parents had me when they were 35 and 43- and I’m honestly very glad they waited. It seriously made them such great parents.
I have been TTC for two years. I lost a baby and ever since I basically lost my period and it is so hard and thank you for posting about this! Some just don’t understand how hard it can be to go through physically, emotionally and mentally.
Blaire dont worry about the age issue, my mother was 34 and my dad was 37 when they had me, im 17 now and they are 51 and 54 now, and I really don't notice any kind of barrier between their parenting and my friends whose parents are now in their mid 30s. Really the only difference is that mine go to sleep at like 9 lol
This! Having old parents is the best too because young parents be crazy
My parents were 39 and 42 when I was born, I'm 19 and they're 59 and 61 now but they still stay up later than me usually. My dad works until 11 at night and when he gets home he and my mom spend hours chatting together. sometimes people mistake them for my grandparents, and I know when I was younger I teased them mercilessly. But I actually think I had it better than my oldest siblings who were born in my parents' early/mid 20s, because they've mellowed with age and they're a lot softer with me than they were with them and spoil me more. Probably has to do with them being grandparents now too; getting to be an uncle when I was 8 years old was awesome for me as well.
Fr hahahaha. My parents are 55 and 67. They're both asleep by 8.
Nowadays people get children when theyre in their thirties atleast in Europe. Women are having careers and stuff, I think you wouldn‘t be the only ‚old‘ parent (30 is not old and 40 isnt either nowadays...). It is even better for the child I think since you are more mature than a 20 year old.
Totally agree 👍
I was 35 when my daughter was born and my husband was in his 40s.
my parents had me at 39 & 42 and my sister in law & brother had their daughter at 29 & 34 and my sister is 29 almost 30 & currently pregnant!!! you're NOT too old at all!!!! love you blaire❤️
My mom had my bro when she was 40, and she is still alive. I liked to ask how old my friends’ parents were, and i was proud to have the oldest ones.
Blaire, for the font's sake, 30-something isn't old for a parent of a preschooler... jesus christ, my mother was 36 when she had me. Anyways best of luck.
My mum was 36, too. I would definitely like kids younger than that, but being older works for some people.
my mom was 40!!
My mom was 37 when she had me and 39 turning 40 for my brother!
Mine was 36 too!
My mum was 34, she’s 67 this year, I don’t like the gap.
Sharing DNA with a child does not make you a parent. LOVING a child makes you a parent. I know quite a few people that do not have good relationships with biological parents.
Good luck!
that's true of course, but some people prefer to have biological children and i see nothing wrong with that
That's very true, however, it can be very validating for a transwoman to have a kid that is hers, rather than adopted, at least based on what I know, a lot of the transwomen I'm aware of really want biological kids, also, depending on your values, actually having a kid of your own can be extremely important to some.
I 100% agree with you. People are so self-centered. "I want a baby that has my dna". As if adopted kids were second hand or smt. These kinda people should not have kids imo.
@@healthybodyhealthymind7756 that is the dumbest thing that i have read in a while. just bcs someone doesn't want to adopt they now don't deserve children? girl women (not all but most) are able to give birth so if they can have biological children why is that a bad thing?
Very true
I’m adopted. I can’t say enough how grateful I am to my parents especially my mom. She is my best friend and I love and appreciate her more than anyone or anything. Thank you for considering adopting. Too many kids never get the opportunity to have parents
As a gay man, I strongly understand where you are coming from. We are both differently yes. However my biggest fear in life is that I’ll never get to have my own child. I’m 23 and I literally stress about this more then I should at my age. I love my nieces and nephews however I can’t help but jealous of my own siblings at times.
Being a parent is a touchy subject and I’m glad I watched this because it’s hard to explain it to people who don’t understand. Love you blaire ❤️
Lol
if it makes you feel better at all, my mom gave birth to me when she was 26 and my dad was 34, and they arent "the old parents", theyre actually much younger than most parents i know :)
Yeah my great grandma was in her 40s when she had my grandma and I read a letter from my great grandma to my great grandpa saying it’s ok if he doesn’t want to marry her cuz an unmarried women in her 30s especially in the 50s wasn’t common and she may not be able to provide a child and he said “ I don’t need a kid from you I just need you” in another letter and they went on to have 3 kids
@@MEDSZ13.08 thats adorable omg
You won’t be an old mom by today’s standards. I’m getting married in July and turning 34 in August. We plan to start trying right after the wedding.
Wow that's great, good luck !!
Was 34 in May, got engaged in July, marrying in January 21 (Covid permitting), came off contraception last month, no idea what will happen or what my fertility is like, but will face whatever comes. Good Luck on your journey
😎👍
Just because that’s what you’re doing doesn’t mean that’s “today’s standards”
Good luck 😉
I'm almost 30 and I've wanted kids since I was 18. I only found the love of my life recently and I'm glad I haven't had any kids with someone else, but you saying that 27 is an "old mom" actually hurts like hell.
Really made me not want to watch your videos anymore.
You made the right choice finding the right person dont worry, its unfortunate seeing a lot of girls around my age 18-23 who picked the wrong partners in youth who now vent about it on facebook, rushing the moment your legal and immature is not the best idea
Oh ffs. I didn't have kids until I was 37, and I took absolutely zero offense to Blaire. Her comment 'hurt like hell'? I am truly fascinated by that. Why does it bother you? She is speaking about what she considers old for HERSELF, not passing judgement on what other people do. Her words have literally nothing to do with you.
@@emmagatewood3898 And I have a right to feel how I feel, why does my comment angers you? Mind your own business.
You’re not old but you have a lot of maturing to do first and that’s okay.
Absolutely
If he wants to be a parent, he needs to stop dressing like woman.
@@T_dog1 we gotta transphob here
@@ysaysaysaysa And?
@@T_dog1 and what? I’m just sayin
So glad you’re back and feeling healthy! 💕 no pressure to become a parent, where trans or not. You’ve got all of us to look after anyway 🥴
YES
Yes blaire is now our internet mother xD
Takes guts to say this, Blaire, because people don't want to talk about the reality of hormone sterilizing. Especially when it comes to conversations about medically transitioning kids.
Medically transitioning teens*no one start the medical part until puberty starts (10,11,12), and the parents know their kids will be steril when they get to the age to start hormones, hormone blockers itself doesnt make kids steril...
@@nathitaxo stop
@@nathitaxo those ages you listed are kids. Teenagers under 18 are kids. Children should not medically transition in any way. Blockers don’t sterilize true, but they limit the growth of the body. This effects not only height, but it can effect the size of genitalia. If a MTF person goes on blockers as a child and tried to get bottom surgery later, they may not have enough skin or long enough veins to safely complete the surgery.
If we don’t let minors drink, smoke, join the military or have sex, then we shouldn’t allow them to mess with their hormones.
@@OpossumOnTheMoon You talk about that like if every transwoman who was a transkid wants SRS, shut up... hormone blockers are life saving thing, since it will prevent so many aesthetic surgerys in the future, You arent trans, please dont talk like if you were one of us.
@@nathitaxo I’m literally trans. I know what I’m talking about. Yes I know not every person wants SRS, but most do. Personally Im on the fence on bottom surgery, but I know I want top surgery. And what is going to happen to those who medically altered their bodies when young and now they can’t get the surgeries they need? They’ll become suicidal.
Also what if that child later goes on to detransition? Don’t say it won’t happen because it can. Blaire has literally interviewed detransitioners and you can find more on CZcams.
Aesthetics is not a good reason to put a child’s development and mental health at risk. For example I was attacked by a dog when I was younger and the first hospital we stopped by refused to give me stitches without also doing plastic surgery. My dad, being a responsible parent, choose to take me to a different hospital because he realized his 6 year old child wouldn’t be able to cope with an intensive medical procedure at that age.
I went through the puberty of my sex and it sucked, but I needed certain growth to be able to get my future surgeries and I was given time to fully understand what I feel about my gender. A 10 year old shouldn’t be allowed to make huge bodily changes.
I know that it is easy to want to help trans people ASAP, hell when I was a minor I hated Blaire because she didn’t support minors transitioning medically. Now I’m 19 and I’ve grown to realize that she’s 100% right on this.
Thank you for mentioning fertility issues are more common and not just a trans issue, right after I told my ex best friend that I got engaged, she asked me when I'm having kids. Which made me cry because that might not happen for me despite really wanting it to (PCOS). Ily Blaire 💕
Not the same thing at all though. Blaire isn't having 'fertility' issues, like gay men who use surrogates in order to have bio children, aren't having fertility issues.
Your situation is completely different.
i think she knows that bro. she’s just being nice
@@dannyd1752 Blaire is sterile. Isnt this a fertility issue?
@@luckydevil1601 LOL no.
My mom had me at 37, my sister had twins at 38 and my grandma had her last child at 44. I’m 35 and not ready. Never been married and that’s okay. It’ll all come together at the right time.
I appreciate hearing about this topic as an infertile cis woman. I'm sorry it's so difficult for us, I relate to it a lot. I don't think I'd be approved for adoption in Australia due to my autoimmune diseases, so it does hit hard when people say "you can always adopt". Great video, thanks Blaire
Why would your autoimmune diseases get in the way of adopting? What’s the reasoning behind this policy?
@@a.b.2405 there isn't a policy specifically against autoimmune diseases, but they assess your health and my health problems are so significant they said I wouldn't pass :(
I'm also infertile with an autoimmune disease (are we cousins now? LOL). Lucky for me, I never wanted kids, I'm happy with nieces and nephews, but I hope you find a way to have children if that's what you want. Sending positive energy to you!
@@Athlynne Thank you 💛 I'm not set on kids either and am unsure I would want a child to grow up with a sick mother with comorbid depression. I know that I do want kids but wouldn't want to affect their life negatively (my mother's illness did for me), so I'm trying to be very thoughtful and responsible about it. Despite my doubts, still am sad adoption won't be an option! Not being able to make the choice is what upsets me the most.
I am sorry you also battle with your health and I wish you the best :)
@@313eve maybe look into being apart of a mentoring program that way you still can change a child's or teens life without the whole "adoption " process 😉 you may still be able to bond with youth and affect their life postivly
I had my daughters at 38 and 40. Don’t worry about being an “ old mom “.
Ty for that I'm 31 and don't want any for at least 10 years
@@crystalrobinson643 got me I like being older. I’m more patient, more financially secure, and I don’t feel like I missed out on anything. When I was young I was young. I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted.
34---and praying I can be like you
@@crystalrobinson643 amen to that! I'm 35 and still not ready.
Leah, that is very reassuring cuz I'm 35 and still not ready so I'll probably be around 40 by the time I do have a baby.
Please don’t worry about being the “old parents”! My mom was 33 when she had me
Been watching you for years and youre a huge part that gave me the courage to transition 2 years ago! I love your outlook and adopting is a great thing for the child, thats why I hope to do it too someday! ^^
I'm gonna virtue signal for a sec: everyone should very seriously consider adopting. Adoption is something we need to normalize, be excited about, and celebrate. I'm infertile (not trans) and I plan to adopt once I get enough money together. There are nearly half a million orphans in the United States. That is INSANE and despite the costs and complications of adopting a US child and the psychological challenges adopted kids often face, I think it's our duty to get all these kids into homes, and I'm going to be one of the people that do that.
I'm honestly EXTREMELY heartbroken that I can't adopt. According to all of my research, I'm too poor, too crazy, and too crippled... And that makes me so incredibly sad. My son also wants a sibling more than anything in the world, I can't give him one.
@Gretchen Weiners Right! Like, yes, I am technically "poor" (according to income requirements) and I am disabled. But that doesn't mean that I'm not an amazing mother, and it doesn't mean that I couldn't care for another child. It's unfair. I understand why the regulations are in place, but it's unfair.
i’m still too young to have children but I for sure know I want to adopt at least one child. I made that decision because of my step mother, that has been the best mother I could ever have after mine died. That proved to me that you don’t have to share dna to be a family
They need to make adoption a little easier too.
Agreed it is a selfless valid way to grow a family and should be far more normalized. I am currently 39 weeks pregnant with my first child and my family is already asking me if I want to have more children. My husband and I have decided if we do want anymore children we would prefer to adopt and give a child who already exists a loving home, supportive family and the best opportunities we could possibly provide them. Everyone deserves to feel loved and important and if we are able to do that for someone I can find no reason we shouldn't.
I am a high school Biology science teacher and in recent years I have had a few trans students. All have been FTM and during the Human Body and Genetics units I will do an aside stating that when I say Male and Female, I am referring to genetics. All my trans students so far have accepted this and not made an issue. Last year one of them pinned me down and asked me if I would medically transition a child (apparently their parents refused to take their child to an endocrinologist but they were using the new name, pronouns, and taking their child to a therapist). This was a very miserable moment for me because I tell my students I will answer any question dealing with the topic honestly and we were talking about the effects of hormones on the body. I told my students I would not medically transition a child because brain development does not end until the mid twenties and because of the risk of sterilization. One of my trans students was shocked and asked me a ton of questions on sterility and I had to explain that the long term use of cross hormones can destroy a reproductive system either way. I told them that I could not willingly allow my child to be sterilized before they could save gametes in case they might want kids one day. My students ALWAYS say they don’t ever want to have kids and I always tell them about a friend of mine who married a person they loved dearly and both were planning on being childless. Well, they have to go to marriage counseling because while they still love each other immensely, one wants kids and the other does not. I hope they can both agree some day. I tell my students about this friend and explain, as we age, we regularly change our minds about things.
Sounds like you're addressing those topics perfectly! You're very respectful and also refuse to lie. Many people don't share their real opinion and share facts about these topics, because they're afraid of being seen as transphobic or a bigot.
@@J05TI thank you. I try to be as respectful and trustworthy as possible. It honestly scares me how many of my trans students know nothing about the dangers of the medicine used to transition.
@@BelleDreamer7 That might be because of how easy it is to transition in some parts of the world. It's my understanding that, in the USA, which I'm assuming you're from, there are many areas where you can get a prescription for cross-sex hormones after a 20 minute doctor's appointment with no diagnosis of gender dysphoria. Those people aren't getting vital information, because they require so little appointments with doctors and therapists before they start transitioning.
@@J05TI that is very true but also many of them start to socially transition using social media as a guide. Many trans influencers also play a part showing the positives of their transition and not the negatives. I started following Buck Angel, one of the first FTM trans people in the US and he has been very honest with the positives and the negatives. He warns people that he nearly died when his uterus started to atrophy and he got sepsis. I am honestly horrified by how little is said of the serious negative side effects that can cause life long issues in trans people.
@@BelleDreamer7 I completely agree! And yes, he's awesome. I also really recommend Blaire White. They did videos together on Blaire's channels.
the mommy question is the ultimate blackpill of being a transsexual.
I see daily friends from highschool getting married and having babies, and just living life. and I want nothing more but to be happy for them, but I am just so heart broken that it'll never be my turn. that nothing on heaven or earth could grant me motherhood, not really. I'll never go through the hardship and beauty of bringing a child of your own into the world, I'll never see myself in a son of my own and be surprised in how similar we are.
It is a soul crushing mourning, and its one I dont think I'll ever overcome.
I think there are benefits to having kids in your 30's and early 40's cause you are more mature emotionally.
Girl, listen, you are NOT old for becoming a parent. The average age of first time parents where I live is literally 30. Having a kid at 19-20 frankly sounds a bit insane to me, your brain hasn't even matured yet and you don't have your life together. Honestly, you and Joey are a perfect age to become parents.
so true! i feel like living in la has made her think being older than 25 is old
Yeah same in my country, most people even get married in their 30s not their 20s.
@@theGoldjey I did a quick Google search to find the exact numbers for my country. The average age of first time parents is 30.7 (and I also happened to find out that in the 70's, which is when my parents were born, the average was 24). The average age for people getting married for the first time is 35.1 - both of the current stats are from 2019.
I'm always surprised when I see people on social media in their early twenties talk about how "everyone else their age is getting married and having kids!" but I guess they all live in places where it's more common to get married and pop out babies young...
@@KreeZafi where do you live? 😊
@@theGoldjey Sweden! You?
Girl, 27 is not old, most of my friends are having kids in their thirties, don't worry about it!
Also, that jacket is everything! Where is it from???
It's from fashion nova and it's sold out 😭
*boy
@@angelredbottom6582 No.
@@NamiHeartilly yes actually
@@angelredbottom6582 No, you're just being a bigot.
27 isn’t old! I had my first son at 27 and my second son at 30! 👶 DNA has nothing to to with being a parent - my sons stepmom is just as much as a mom as I am 🤷♀️
Girl my mom was 38 when she had me and then 5 years later she popped out my brother what are u even worried about girl 😂💕27 is nothinggg in mommy years
I've had three miscarriages. I'm 33. My husband and I have been trying for 8 years. I always said if I didn't get pregnant by 32, I would stop trying. And I have. I hate it, I wish I could have been a mom. I want to adopt, but it's hard, sad, and long process. I need to make sure I adopt children the right age so that I am there for them. I want young kids, but the ideal is one of two options, I either want an older child, say 8-12, or I want a sibling unit. Those are my hopes. Good luck Blaire and Joey, take it from me at almost a decade in. This is the most heart breaking, soul changing journey you can be on. I have spent many a days crying over pregnancy tests, sitting on the floor on the kitchen hating myself for not being able to make a meal for my own children, silently resenting my friends who have the blessing of children, hating the people who have hurt or killed their children in the news, and just wondering what I did wrong to be the only one in my family unable to produce a child. Then to only go through the foster/adoption program and get held up over the laws and red tape in your county and state and just feeling defeated. I want you guys to have a happy and smooth process for this. I wish you all the best. I can only hope we both have children of our own. Since I was 5 years old I just wanted to be a mom. I hope someday I can be. You guys will be amazing parents. Stay strong!
I feel your pain girl. I have PCOS and have been wanting a kid for 3 years now and I’m turning 30 in July :(
@@brittc4598 I'm turning 29 also been trying for almost 3years with PCOS. Had a miscarriage in August......
It's devastating........
I know there is a child in the system just waiting for you.
As someone who's been through miscarriage and has a family full of adopted siblings just wanted to say you did nothing wrong.
For what little it means all the love and support in the world. ❤
@Kiri N I've gone through medications, I've done hormones, short of the expensive *$17-25k* route of ivf, I've done it all. I have unexplained infertility, they have no idea why I can't carry. Just that I can't
My mom was a foster mom. I didn’t care to adopt until recently because I look at my brothers and sisters and how they have grown and were given a great life. It’s an honor to think that my mom chose them and saved them from the hardships of living in the system.
It’s a beautiful thing and I am sorry that even tho you can’t be a mom the way you thought you would, but just know you are going to make such an impact in your future child’s life by choosing them. ❤️
You'll be a fantastic Mom. I hope no matter how, you become one! My Mom had me at 39. I had my kids at 28 and 32. Don't worry. ❤️
I’m an infertile 22 year old and I often see so many other people who are speaking on our issues and experiences (most often with little to no knowledge or experience of infertility themselves).
Majority of the time, our experience(s) and lives are used as examples for certain political views/arguments… Yet, we are silenced when we try to speak our own experiences and our subsequent opinions…
I have what is known clinically as “unexplained” infertility which only effects about 22% of women in the world. Only about 13% in women under the age of 30 (Cited below).
It is extremely frustrating in it’s own right because I do not even have a reason nor knowledge on why my body cannot reproduce and support a child. I am just kind of stuck hoping maybe one day… my parts will work.
I find myself completely silenced yet used as an example in so many issues. Including: Abortion, women’s rights, feminism, transgenderism, LGBTQ+, and so much more. The left (and right) are willing to use me and my personal experience in cases or examples to prove their points. Yet, silence me if I disagree OR EVEN JUST TRY TO PROVIDE MY OWN VIEWPOINT. It is infuriating.
“Just adopt” or “Seek other options”… Yeah I plan to when I’m older but the fact is you cannot simply use my life/ My experience/ my story as a point for your logic when you have no idea what it entails. And hell, maybe I’d even be okay with it IF I MYSEF WAS ALLOWED TO HAVE OPINIONS AS WELL.
ALL THAT BEING SAID- Thank you Blaire… just for adding in that: SOME infertile women MAY BE suffering some similar issues and feelings, and can possibly relate. It means a lot to be mentioned in the discussion and allowed to voice our relatable experiences ❤️
(Statistical Data can be found here- www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2505167/ Note: I used the numbers from the year I was diagnosed and added to said brackets, which was 2020).
My wife & I went through 7 years of infertility treatment only to learn she was not able to have kids. We looked into adoption, but at the time we just couldn’t afford the high fees just to be approved, almost $7500 non-refundable.
Best of luck on your journey through this!
@@andreatucker7508, thanks, but she’s now 55 and I’m almost 60. If GoFundMe had been around 30 years ago when we were trying we would have made use of it. What I found most upsetting is we found a agency out of our state that would have been half the cost at least. But our state got involved and dictated that we would have to pay the fees to the state and agency combined. Now things have changed somewhat. Not sure on the details, but it was easier for our nephew & his wife to adopt.
Thanks for the reply!
@@andreatucker7508 Thank you, we are very happy. We’ve poured all our love into our 3 dogs, & nieces, nephews and their kids. We get to be the cool seniors in the group! 😎
Having a kid at 27 would not make you an "old mom" wtf lol
It's sad how many "conservatives" would be ok with this dude becoming a "mother". A child needs a real woman for a mother.
Aweee someone has mommy issues
You mean democrats
@user-jl7rv7tr6e *His. Why are you pretending that he's a woman?
That’s not that old. My dad was almost 40 when he had me, my mom had recently turned 37 when I was born
I am unable to have children and it nearly kills me every day.
Just wanted to leave some love and support, wish I could do more.
Appreciated. I have ovarian cysts and my ex husband refused fertility treatments. Needless to say we are divorced now but at 46 I am going into menopause and hopelessly single. So no chance at a child of my own. I did raise my ex’s 2 kids full time for 8 years. Still have contact with my step son he is a lot of what keeps me going. So Blaire is right, not all parents are biological it’s just I so wanted to see a little piece of myself or my deceased daddy in a baby of my own. Life is hard and unfair for sure.
@@clutchingmypiztolzharley1210 Uggghhh......girl, HUGE hugs to you. I'm really sorry you're going through this. I'm in a similar boat. This is why I have a shit ton of pets, lol. Seriously, my dog literally saves me every day. He makes it to where I get out in the world and hike or go on adventures to new places, otherwise I'd stay home and work allllll day. I'm not saying that a pet will completely fill that void, but taking care of a living, breathing being who adores you, definitely helps.
Wishing you the best 💛
@@clutchingmypiztolzharley1210 Actually there’s a way you can still have your own kids; if interested, let me know. It’s a new tech.
@@she_sings_delightful_things oh I got 4 fur babies ;) they are the best for sure I also go run often. Running helps me a lot to clear my mind and lighten my heart.
Omg i banked before my transition and the pressure was so overwhelming it was like the smallest sample I had ever produced 🙈 tmi I know but I worry all the time about it not being enough etc. The worry is real. But you’ll be a great mom blaire don’t worry ❤️ and 27 is young af. Don’t let that discourage you. I’m aiming for kids around 32. Like the age my mom had me. And I turned out fab.
The idea that there's this automatic emotional connection between blood is so antiquated, problematic, and false.
If blood is what makes the familial emotional connection, then I must be broken, because I couldn't care less about my biological father.
Though, what does have an impact is the ten months your biological mother carried you in her womb.
Honestly this is one of two reasons I never pursued transitioning. Kids and a family are very important to me and I chose trying to achieve that over transitioning. The other reason is I never felt like I would be able to achieve a passing transition if I did pursue it.
I wish you and your fiancé the best as you consider adoption.
💕💕💕 hope you’re doing well
@J A I second this! Wow! I cant fathom making such HUGE choices like this! But again as long as you're happy.. thats all that truly matters.
Have you talked to a Phycologist about this
@@roozbeh1253 psychologist*
wise choice
I love that you are considering adoption more now.
I have a special place in my heart for people who look past genetics and say "a child needs love lets give it to them".
I think if you and joey adopt, it's going to be hard but worth it for both of you. That child will love you both regardless if you are biologically linked.
This is coming from a girl who has had two adopted father figures. My grandpa and my step dad. I love them as if they were my dad, and no one could convince me not to love them in that way.
People very much underestimate the love a child can feel regardless if we are genetically linked. What matters is that you love them as if you were genetically linked. That's it.
Best of luck to both you and Joey with whatever route you choose to take. As an adopted girl myself, I couldn't be more thankful every day for my adoptive parents. They've given me everything they could and still do, it's a wonderous gift to give a child so if you do choose that route, you're doing such a wonderful thing for the child and for yourselves. Although the process may be tedious and even with adopted children other minor issues may arise, it's all worth it in the end. You and Joey are going to make such wonderful parents! xx
There are so many people who say hormones can be reversed but they cant
no, people say puberty blockers can be reversed, and they can
Adopting my daughter out of China was the best thing I ever did love her more than anything.
As others have said, the lack of DNA connection to you isn’t a reason why the kids would wanna leave you. That’s more of an adult perspective. Kids don’t think about it that way. They just think about who they know and who they have a connection with, and that’s who they wanna be with. I myself was raised by both my biological parents, but my brothers are half-brothers who had a different biological dad, but they all see my dad as their dad as their biological father pissed off when they were toddlers, and my dad was the one who was there for them and raised them. They’ve all been calling him dad since they were young and they all independently made the decision to change their names to his last name.
Im not having kids before 32. I wanna live my life for me for a while. After having a family you cant live for yourself anymore.
Don’t leave it too long!!! All the good blokes will be snapped up.
I am adopted, I adopted my kids. I went through state adoption. After completing tge course, 3 months later I got a phone call from our social worker to see if we wanted a 6 month old and almost 2 yr old. Been wonderful
I’m not trans but I’m going through my own issues concerning having children. I just have health issues that make is dangerous for me to have a baby. It’s really hard on my marriage and I’ve been extremely depressed from it. Just seeing someone talk about this makes it easier for me; I don’t feel so alone.
Just pray pray pray. Jesus is so great that as long as you truly believe that Jesus can cure you of those health issues, he CAN do it.
@@carolaguilar9136 that isnt realistic.
@@carolaguilar9136 not true tho
Being a child of elder parents, I'm constantly terrified whenever I visit my parents it will be the last time I see them. Especially my dad, I'm 28 and he's 78.
I felt this! My parents were elderly. Cannot stress enough how much you need to cherish every moment you have with then and tell them you love them. I was 27 when I lost my mom (72) and lost my dad (78) last year when I turned 30. All the best!
Yeah shit I feel that. My dad was 46 when I was born and it's bothered me for a long time because I'd always worry about how long I'd have left with him. I actually went through a stage where I feared his death on a daily basis, which in hindsight is a bit disturbing. I'm trying to move past that though because it doesn't help to live in fear when I'm only 18, and I try to look on the bright side. Yeah, my dad's older than most of my friend's parents, but he has so many cool experiences from the 60s/70s which he wouldn't have had if he was 10 years younger. Even if you're parents are older, try to treasure these moments you have with them. Plus, plenty of people live to 90 now so you may have at least 10 more years with them!
Family doesn't require blood, it requires love.
thank you for always having the courage to talk about difficult things. i've been watching you a lot lately and i admire your ability to make videos about literally anything, even really personal things. this must not have been easy to make but there are people in my life who would benefit greatly from this video