VLOG: He doesn't come to baby appointments with me...
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- čas přidán 12. 05. 2024
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Every doctor's appointment is important, especially when you are high risk. For my last baby, during the last trimester, I was going twice a week, once for MFM and once for my regular OBGYN. I know it's annoying and kind of seems like overkill, but they are just trying to make sure your baby makes it earth side safely. Also my partner only came to ultrasound appointments. It didn't make sense for him to take PTO for every single appointment.
My husband didn't come to any appointments and I'm totally fine. I just gave him the recaps when he gets home. I much rather have him save any PTO for after baby is here and his OT pay is amazing. I get to buy whatever for baby and not be stressed about money 😂
I worked in OB-GYN for almost 15 years and honestly I only saw hubby's come to appointments very very rarely. LOL. I think it's wicked normal, especially since so many OB's never run on time.... AND girl your hair has gotten so LONG! Its gorgeous!! :)
I’m currently 29 weeks pregnant and having my husband there was a big support and relief. The times he couldn’t come my mother came. Having support at my appointments especially being my first baby gives me comfort. Also when I forget something my husband reminds me what the doctors said. It’s really helpful to have an extra set of ears and eyes at my prenatal appointments.
I think the partner does not need to come to every appointment. My husband came to some big ones and the last few. That was good. But the checkups were just not important enough
Don’t feel bad! My husband has only come with me to our ultrasound appointments since he wants to see baby but I told him he doesn’t have to come to follow ups! They’re super short anyway
The discussion in the car low key was about to stir an argument 😂😂😂😂 but I think we all know you guys are way more aligned with your mindset and goals ❤
Happy Mothers Day for yesterday Rachel, mother's day this year is particularly special❤!
We had a high risk pregnancy and were at MFM 2-3x a week, so I never knew what I was walking into, so he definitely came with me. but that’s because of his flexible schedule and my own anxious heart 😅
My husband comes with me to every appointment but we both have pretty flexible schedules as well… but the thought that I could get bad news and be alone terrifies me. But yall do you! Full support to whatever works for you.💕
Up until like the last couple weeks or so of my pregnancy my husband did come to every appointment, but it was because he wanted to. I didn’t tell him that he needed to, but he was so excited for the baby that he wanted to be there and would make it work with his work schedule. Towards the end of my pregnancy I had several appointments during the week, so that was harder for my hubby to come with his work schedule and would only want to go to the important OB/ultrasound ones
I am 8 months pregnant and my husband is a police officer who works at night. I have Tuesday off and he has been able to come to every appt without taking time off from work. This is our first baby and we are a natural pregnancy so he has wanted come. Perhaps with the second child he may or may not want to come as much. I think if he is off he will come. I don't think its a big deal except for the specialty testing (down syndrome), anatomy scan 20-24th week, ultrasound scan 37th week. I think I would want someone there with me for those.
My husband came to every single appointment for our first. But now he only comes to the important appointments, not worth getting a babysitter so he can come to routine appointments.
I work at an OBGYN and honestly most of our OB patients come to appointments without their partners!! And it’s usually not a big thing normally just a check up and they get the ultrasound pics and that’s the end of it.
I asked my husband to save his PTO for when I’m in labor and baby arrives. Most appointments are super quick and you don’t always get a sonogram so I don’t think it’s worth it for him to miss time at work.
Congrats Rach!❤❤❤ Waiting for one someday❤❤
To each their own, for me as someone who went through infertility and pregnancy loss, I just couldn’t bring myself to go to appointments without my husband until maybe the last trimester with my rainbow boy. I couldn’t handle the possibility of getting bad news alone, it was also so nice to enjoy those times with my partner 🥰
My husband came to every appointment with me, but we both had very flexible work schedules during my pregnancy. He didn’t need to, but it turned into a fun time for us and we’d always get lunch together after. He also really got to know my OB very well which was nice too! Next time around I know he won’t be able to come with as much and will likely only come to the big ultrasounds!
I also did IVF and my husband was able to come to every one of my appointments throughout pregnancy. We were lucky though that our doctors office was right near where we both worked
So I’m 36 weeks at present and considered a high risk pregnancy ivf, deivf, over40. I’ve got the same attitude as yourself. My husband couldn’t make the transfer appt so I happily went myself. He came to the 12 week 20 week 32week and will be at the 36week but all the other midwife appts of which I’ve had 5 so far he doesn’t attend. These are just check in appts- listen to baby check my bump BP and urine. I think after having so many ivf appts it does change your view on certain things. You guys do you ❤ and utterly delighted for you ❤
I went for almost all my appointments for all 5 pregnancies with my husband. And he is generally a very supportive father to our children. But do what works for you. ❤And be open with your wishes
Rachel is everything OK? You dont seem yourself in the last few videos. Is it your hormones? Or people having negative opinions? It must be hard sharing everything online to be criticised 😢 you seem a bit checked out...sending lots of love ❤️
I was laughing so much during that car convo about appointments 😂😂😂 Men really are so cute but very similar thinking, my husband would be the exact same with those appointments.
Not me beeing shook about your german "Guten Morgen" ❤ sending love from Germany
My husband was there for all ultrasound appointments 😊❤️ he always wanted to see the baby too!
I saw it the same as Rachel, I didn't find it necessary for my husband to come to every single appointment. His schedule isn't flexible but he took time to come to the more "important" ones like the first ultrasound, 20 week scan and my last couple appointments because he preferred to drive me lol
I love the clip of you in the chair it made the tacobell chat feel super serious
Lmao
Lol, it felt like a confessional 😅
I threw up or gagged violently when brushing my teeth every time!! I started only using mouthwash first thing in the morning and brushing after I eat breakfast, I felt like it helped me a lot 😊
During IVF and early pregnancy my husband obv came to the major appointments, egg retrieval, implantation, first ultrasound & our 20 week ultrasound this Friday. But otherwise he has to work and we’re totally fine with it!
Guten morgen from germany :) i love your vlogs rachel ❤❤❤❤
We did IVF and my hubby came to them all early on when I had a lot of nerves. Once I hit second trimester he just came when I had an ultrasound!
My husband only went to ultrasounds! But regular OB where they just ask you if you’re doing ok and measure your stomach are not necessary for them to take time off work. Although I was always very nervous and my heart rate and BP were always elevated so the nurse asked if my husband could come with me to help me be calm 😂
I think it depends on the pregnancy and how it’s going. If there are no complications then it doesn’t make sense to go to every single one. I had a lot of complications during my pregnancy so my husband came to all of them because there was bad news at almost all of the appointments. Also if you’ve had previous losses you probably want your partner there just in case something were to happen.
My husband went to nearly all of my appointments when I was pregnant with our first baby. He actually only missed the anatomy scan due to a big meeting at work. He showed up a little late to my (didn’t realize at the time) last appointment when my doctor was in the middle of doing membrane sweep 🙃 he went to a few appointments in my second and third pregnancies but ultimately having him off work after the births was more important to the both of us. I think it’s all a matter of personal preference. It was usually easier for me to just schedule the appointments and not have to plan them around his crazy work schedule.
Good morning Rachel happy Tuesday morning and I loved your vlogs and you are amazing Supporter and I'm proud of you
My favourite youtuber As Always Rachel
I've had 2 pregnancies and my husband only came to the big appointments, the very first one, ultrasounds, and right at the end. I also had to have stress tests at the end with my first and he came to a couple. It was too hard to schedule off work and such. He was there for the really important stuff but regular check ups...pee in a cup, measure your belly, listen to the heartbeat basically in and out in 15 minutes he didn't. I'm like you I was fine with it 🤷♀️
My husband came to the ultrasound appointments. That worked well for us.
My husband was there at every appointment. Thank God I wasn’t alone when my midwife said “There’s a problem with your baby’s heart. It could be that he may need surgery, or it could be that he’ll never survive outside of you.” I suggest he goes with you.
It was the same for us, so thankful he was with me 🙏
I’m 13 weeks pregnant and so far my Fiancé hasn’t gone with me either because of work. I’ve only had like, 1-2 appointments so far so it’s not a big deal. He said he would take off work and come if I wanted him to. Don’t worry! It’s not a big deal ❤
Guten Morgen from Germany, where it currently is the evening 😅
As for your appointment question, I think you should just do what works for you two. My husband was at every appointment at first, i think till week 16 and then i was going alone more and more. But i wasn't high risk so i was only there once a month in the beginning. The appointments then got more frequently and longer too so i started going on my own more and more. That was how it worked for us. As long as you are happy with the arrangements and he is there for the birth everything is good 😅❤
My husband has been going with me to every one. We haven’t had any work conflicts with his schedule yet, but I thought it was always important to have someone go with you incase you receive bad news. Like I’d probably ask my mom, a sister or friend to go if he couldn’t. I’m also high risk so I’ve had more appointments as well.
I’m on my TTC journey & these appts are so sporadic, I can’t expect my partner to be available for every one. We talked about the appts I’d like them to be there for, but an ultrasound or a blood test, I don’t think it’s a big deal. Don’t allow what you see on the internet to have an effect on your dynamic ❤️
What is the brand of your flat iron? Thanks
I’m a medical assistant . I enjoy watching your videos ❤. Hope to ge into PA school soon any tips?
My husband only came to the ultrasounds. Otherwise I went on my own. He had work and I wanted him to use his time off for the birth and after to help me.
My husband didn’t come with me to my obgyn appointments. You are looking great!
The only appointments I wanted for my husband to be there with me is the first appointment to confirm the pregnancy and anatomy scan to see the baby. My regular OB visits are so quick that it's not necessary for us both to be there.
During my first pregnancy my husband came to every appointment. I was pregnant during Covid so the office didn’t allow visitors. I’m a little over 13 weeks now & my husband doesn’t go to the appointments since he stays home with our son
A few years ago my partner and i made a pact to go to every single doctors appointment together. Its happened at least 90% of the time and its been phenomenal having that moral support and closeness...especially during the pregnancy ones...we are in everything together ❤️
So cute!
@@afrprincess07 he really helped me advocate for myself during a phase of chronic illness and condescending doctors and throughout my pregnancy ❤
My husband came to my ultrasounds, but my OB/GYN was next door to my office, and my husband worked 30 mins away. There was not reason for my husband to attend a regular check-up.
I personally cannot go to the appointments alone i need my husband there for the emotional support ( i am afraid of doctors) but he also wants to come to see the baby and ask the doctor questions. Here in Greece where i live the doctors appointments are once a month. Except the last weeks of pregnancy when you go to your gynecologist every week. But whatever work for you! Every couple knows what is best for their relationship. And Aj seems a loving husband and father already.
I am 17 weeks rn, I also don’t mind if he goes or not lol it’s not a big deal to me idk if I’m weird but yes I also told him some women make their husbands go…
I update him as soon as I get out 🤷🏻♀️He’s working and he provides for our family so I’m totally ok if he’s there or not.
I think it should depend on your preference. If he can be there great if not than that’s ok too
My husband only came for the first few + ultrasounds and otherwise I fill him in like you said because it can be a lot of time off work! I feel like I’m lucky I can leave early or come late in order to go. 😂
Agree try not to complain- or be negative
I try to pray keep God’s word in mouth and heart ❤️
Because there power in the tongue!!!
Want a good healthy life (etc)
I have three kids and I’ve gone to every appointment alone 😂 doesn’t bother me , nothing ever happens at the appointment really lol
Ob appts are scheduled by the week that the doctor wants to see you and baby because every new week is a new milestone for baby. They don’t like rescheduling outside of the week they would like to see you and baby. (I am 9 months pregnant btw)
I’ve had 4 pregnancies. Even with my last one who I was considered high risk due to my age and IVF, I never felt it necessary for my husband to come to every appt. If he could make it, he did. If he didn’t, no big deal
My husband was there when I conceived and delivered all three kids and THAT WAS IT .... Of course, that was 40 years ago :)
I'm sorry but did I hear you say "what are you the police" because they said you missed an appointment 🤔 wow that's a really great attitude to have. You have appointments for a reason and that is the health of you and your baby. When you miss an appointment it nit only wastes money but also their time because they could have given that appointment to someone else who would actually turn up. Here in the uk you tell them you're pregnant, and we don't even get any appointments until we're 12 weeks pregnant, which is such a long wait but understandable. My midwife is supposed ti have visited two weeks ago 😳 but didn't even turn up and I've heard nothing since, so count yourself lucky they care enough to WANT you to turn up to your appointments plus if you'd gone when you was supposed to then you wouldn't have had to go after work.
I didn’t know I had an appointment
@RachelVinn did they not tell you 😳 that's like what's just happened to me? My midwife appointment was two weeks ago, and today, she messaged and asked if we are still on for our appointment today. X
Girl, chill she forgot babe 🙄🙄!! You overreacting . Stop acting like a Karen , girl bye
My husband came to most of my appointments but we also have opposite schedules so he's off mornings and that's when most my appointments were I wouldn't have him take off unless it was an important one.
My husband only went to the appointments that had ultrasounds if he could get off just because those were few and far between. Otherwise, I rode solo.
My husband only came to like 3 appointments. After a while at they do is check the heart beat and stuff.
I asked my husband to take time off to come to the first ultrasound to make sure everything was okay and my 20 week ultrasound. My other ones tho I’m okay with going by myself for the most part! I did make the mistake of going to my 39 week appointment alone and getting a membrane sweep which felt (FELT. My doctor was great) like sexual assault. I wish he had been there with me for that one but other than that, sometimes our men have to work! It is what it is.
My husband came to most of the appointments. He really wanted to be invested in the whole process so it could feel like “we” were having a baby and not just me. However, I don’t believe there is a right or wrong. It’s definitely up to what you all and your personal convictions. Praying for a healthy experience for you both, and delivery for your little one.
“I’m so lost”☠️ Haha To each their own ❤️
My husband didn’t come to may of mine either.
My husband was there for every appointment. He wanted to hear the baby's beating heart and see him moving.
My husband insists on coming to every appointment. The only ones he missed were the stress tests towards the end of our first pregnancy. I'm grateful he insisted on coming to all those previous appointments because our perfectly healthy little boy never made it through labor due to malpractice. My husband's only memory of our son are those ultrasounds. What happened to us was 1 in 10,000 is what I'm told, so statistically speaking, you're probably OK, but I've come to realize that milestones and statistics mean nothing. It's just my perspective, and it's one I hope you don't ever have to share.
The MDM and your regular doc won’t always be in constant communication, you’ll hav appointments scheduled for the MFM and your regular pregnancy doc. MFM checks for different, specific things. It protects them from any potential litigation but it also ensures that you and the baby are as safe as possible! Especially since you’re high risk and IVF!
I'm 15+2 & my husband has been to every appointment. He has a flexible schedule where he chooses one day a week to go in later, so he doesn't have to use any PTO or anything. He wants to be at each one, but we didn't go through IVF or anything like that.
I just had my 12week appointment to check the nuchal translucency. During the appointment, the baby position is not good, the sonografer can't get good picture. I was told to shake my hip and even jumpinh to make baby move 😅 I am wondering it that's common to make baby moving in such a way? Anyway my husband came for this apppintment but not every appointment he come
Same with my husband. Wasn’t really important to us that he be at every appt. Totally agree.
I think it’s pretty normal for the husband to not go. I only asked my husband to go to the ultrasounds, but most of the time the appointments were 5 minutes of talking to the doctor, but would take an hour or more out of our day, so it felt like it would have been a waste of time for him to take off work. Just depends on the couple and pregnancy🤷♀️
Im catching up. I dont see Vinny? Where is he pls???
My husband went to most of the ultrasounds and then to some of the regular check ups, the wait is always longer than the actual appointment itself 😂 very annoying lol he did go to the glucose testing appointment but that’s because I needed his support after having a bad experience my first pregnancy 😂 other than that no pressure for him to go!
My Husband and I are currently pregnant and he’s gone to the first appointment and the anatomy scan so far (I’m 21 wks) My OBGYN does group appointments so I’m not alone, I’m with a group of about 8 moms. For us personally, I would rather my husband save his sick days (paternity leave) for when the baby comes but each mom & dad should choose the best path for them. It’s such an exciting time! Congratulations!! 👶🏻
Oh wow, how does group appointments work? Congratulations btw!
@@afrprincess07 It’s definitely different and maybe not for everyone but the women with due dates in September have the same appointment dates(if you opt into the group, you don’t have to). We take our weight in a separate room and then help each other take our blood pressure. Our nurse who leads the group goes over any questions we have and we chat with each other. Then our doctor comes in and we go over questions with him. It’s actually really nice and makes those 10-15 min appointments more enjoyable. We also go into a separate room one by one during the appointment to check on the baby.
Here in the uk weeks only have roughly four, maybe five scans. We have one at 12 weeks called the dating scan, then at 20 weeks for gender and then at 35 weeks to check if baby is head down and every two weeks after if your gestational diabetic. At least that's how it was for my last pregnancy during covid so this one might be different.
No, that's not the case during "high risk" & IVF.
I’m with hubby. If circumstances allow it. My husband wfh. But my doctor is near my job, 45 mins away. So we video call and he takes off for the big ones. But he wfh and can be flexible. WHATEVER WORKS
Hey you also share date of current of you filming it's good now how old vlog actually is
I am a mother of three grown children, my husband went to every appt with me, I think if you would really listen to your husband it is important to him to go to your appts but after 2 when he is off work. You both have been thru so much to become parents every little moment should be something important to the both of you. Once your baby is born the time will go by so quick so that is why you want to enjoy every part ot it. Congrats to you and your husband
My husband only
Came to the big one appointments for like 1/3 kids bc of his work schedule. They were so quick and half the time I didn’t want to be there I didn’t see the point in him being there.
My husband was at most appts - the ultrasound ones he wanted to see the baby on the screen. Unfortunately he would never put the dates on his calendar and would forget to take off work so i had to keep reminding him. I tell him he doesnt need to come tho, I dont mind🤷♀️
I mean i feel like its okay if your partner is not there with you if that seems fine to both of you then nobody’s opinion should matter also i feel bad for AJ I think he felt very bad when you said other’s partners go to every single appointment please reassure him that its okay😂
First baby was COVID so my husband couldn’t come. Currently pregnant with my 3rd and he has been to any appointments with me.
Omg I wouldn’t last a day without complaining 😂
I was a high risk identical twin pregnancy (I didn’t even find out I was having twins until 20 weeks!) and my husband only went to like 3 with me the whole time. The 8 week scan, 20 week scan (when we got the surprise!) and ironically my very last NST when I was told to head to the hospital NOW and ended up having them 20 mins later 😂 God had the perfect plan - he was always there when he needed to be! It just isn’t possible with some careers and drs scheduling for them to be there all the time
My husband only went to the gender reveal ultrasound for our first then for our second he only went to a few and my mother in law went to the gender ultrasound and I feel the same it doesn’t matter
My husband comes to every appointment. I've never had to ask. He just wants too. That being said, he also has the flexibility with his job and I know not everyone does
Same here! I understand not everyone has the flexibility! It has been nice having his support even if things are fine or it’s a quick appt. Husband wants to be involved and make sure he’s doing everything he can to support baby and I.
My husband came to only the anatomy scans for both of our sons. I went to the other appointments by myself. I rather my husband work and then have time off after babies were born.
I told my husband that as long as he was there for the first, 20 week, and birth I was fine going without him 🤣
My husband feels terrible when he can't come to our appointments. I personally don't mind, especially now that we are getting to the weekly appointments. His fear is that if something was wrong, i would be alone, and he doesn't want me to face it by myself. Outside of those slim moments, i tell him not to stress about not being with me.
I agree with yall. My husband doesn’t come to mine. It’s not the end of the world.
Its ok dear some time husband busy in their work so we have to manage the time together so that we can spend this whole journey happily. Be happy and manage the routine together with happily mutual understanding. Stay blessed and May you get the healthy weathy fruit in your lap soon.❤
My husband didnt go with me to the appointments..heck he only made it to one of the two births lol..he had food poisoning when our second was born.i told him not to eat the steak lol
My boyfriend was and is their every appointment but it’s mainly because my car is broken down so he is my ride right now
I think it’s a matter of personal preference- for example my husband is working on most days and my ongyn schedules me at random times and it’s honestly really
Difficult to align all appointments with both schedules…. For example right now I am going at like 7:30am, 7:50am, and the middle of the day. So it’s difficult to align schedules. You are very lucky to be able to leave work to go to the appointment- my job would never allow me to do that. My doctor also wants to see me every single week and it’s honestly really annoying I’m not going to lie to have to go every week and make sure I can even make it to the appointment. My husband was able to go to the first few but honestly each appointment is like 5 min they want to see ultrasound then done so it’s kind of pointless to even expect my husband to go when it’ll be less than 5 min…. This is personal
Speaking, I know all doctors and at different times through it are all
Different but just wanted to share my experience 😊
My husband came with me for all the appointments because i needed him for emotional support if nothing else. But i don't think all partners need to be there if it's alright with the mom-to-be. It's a personal choice and does not need justification.
Lovely 😊🎉😂❤
Guten Morgen 🥰
My husband NEVER came to appointments and it was FINE!! lol