What about having a job doesn't work for me as an Autistic
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- čas přidán 28. 05. 2024
- As an autistic person, I find working to be difficult due to challenges I have with social anxiety, executive functioning and meltdowns when in intense situations. As an autistic woman, I'll talk about my experience and how having a degree doesn't ensure success for some people with autism.
#autism #autismacceptance
This really resonates with me. I have intense curiosity about human behavior, psychology, community sociology… But working in those fields is an entirely different experience than studying them. I think finding our comfort place for work is key to our stability, health and happiness.
Thank you Sheri❤ it is difficult. I used to be really hard on myself about it in glad you can relate.
Jenny, You made me jealous😅! A house with a garden around in a quiet and peaceful neighboorhood is something what I always wanted.
Not to be rich, but a peaceful living. Not to be bothered by neighbours noise through apartment-walls and to be able zo sing loud or play an instrument like my old flute whenever I feel to.
And sit outside in nature. Ahhh....
And I am deeply impressed by Your gardening skills, they are BIIIG😮.
Oh, and Jenny, this was the only other thing then beeing a social worker I thought I want to do since early childhood: beeing an archaologist! How cool😅
For me the most important thing at a job is how the people and the boss(es) are. If I am in a friendly environment I do a lot for little money and am happy. And I started having jobs (next to school) at age 13 (babysitting and in a supermarket, later a grill, an ice-cafe, a shop for kitchen-stuff, cashier on a big supermarket, cleaning and many one-day jobs like when they count every item in a shop by hand once a year in big shops and hire a lot of students for that).
My jobs had been mostly in social and health care, but I did some other things too.
Thank you! I have to give my hubby the credit for the ones in the earth boxes. He did those. I helped decide what we would plant. I have done a lot of seedlings that have a ways to go before producing anything, if they will at all. Gardening is new to me. I am trying to figure it out. Yes, who the boss is makes a huge difference for if I can work somewhere or not.
This is so relatable Jenny, I understand everything you said and I know that you would be able to understand my experience also. When I was young the thought of going to a regular job was overwhelming to me. Couldn't I just mow lawns and rake leaves for a living ? I did end up working at regular jobs but it took a lot out of me. I left my last job when I was 52. I have told people that I'm a world-class underachiever. That's kind of a little joke. You are doing great just where you are Jenny. I love your video.
Thank you! I appreciate that. Being out in nature is great for us, isn't it?
@@autisticjenny I'm so thankful to be able to spend time out in nature every day Jenny. I spend at least a couple of hours every day outside Summer and Winter. This time of year it's more like 6 or 7 hours a day. The time that we spend out in nature is wonderful for our physical, mental and spiritual health.
I did well in school but I couldn't handle university. I was studying psychology and art. I wanted to be an art therapist. But I finished a year's worth of credits and had to drop out. I tried 3 times to finish. My mental health and executive functioning problems are too much for me to work. I have kept a job for 3 months at the longest. I always hoped that someday I could work but now I have a physical illness as well that keeps me from standing much. It also causes brain fog. So I kinda gave up on working.
I hear ya. It amazes me how many of us are fascinated with psychology, that are on the spectrum. We really just want to understand others as well as ourselves.
@@autisticjenny Yes!
Oh yeah brain fog. I have that on occasion. Due to auto immune disease and all the meds i get for pain management. Ive been working for this last company for 4 yrs. I have been in 1yr sick leave. This is my longest job ever...but it came at a cost...burnout. My resumé has a lot of 3,4, 6 month jobs. I was never fired. I just left when i was too overwhelmed. Usually not because of the job itself...more because of the peoples bullying or social demands.
It sounds like you were taking a very interesting degree. It took me longer than normal to finish my history degree. I had some desperate moments with managing all the academic assignments and exams. So i had to slow down and did an extra year of optional subjects. That and the fact i did some trial and error. I switch from languages to history. Then i entered the masters on european studies...hated the environment and people...only was there for 15 days...so then i decided to take a post grad in diplomacy. That one i enjoyed and finished. But it was very tough emotionally and mentally.
@@etcwhatever Those sound like interesting subjects! Sorry to hear about your burn out!
This is very relatable - thank you. When we were younger (and before we had met), my partner and I both used to find quiet places where we could people watch.
On a bit of a tangent, I grew up thinking a lot of our economic system was inherently ... "unfit for any purpose". However, I wound up working - in an area that initially had no particular appeal, but I got a bond (sort of an apprenticeship), and one area developed an interest. After a few years of work, a colleague and I were offered "promotions" from technical roles into management, which was how careers in that area were supposed to go, and I said no. After he had found out what I had done, the colleague also said no, and eventually that job developed management and technical paths.
Going back to human behaviour, at Uni I took a sociology elective, but kept getting into trouble because I kept drifting into psychology - oops. My partner is now a counsellor, and during a break from my job I tried doing massage, but that was too much people contact. I'm now retired, very burned out, but if I get back into work it will probably be DEI (diversity, equity & inclusion).
Yes, I love sociology as well. Thank you for sharing your story. :) No I couldnt' do massage either. I bet some body odor would be too much. Maybe someone comes in a didn't wear deoderant? I hope you find what works for you.
I hated school very early on, but had some vague notion of wanting to be a veterinarian, because I loved animals. I had a couple bullying teachers in my first years of school who would be put in jail these days. The one thing that got me through was that I was always the best artist in my class and got some respect for that. I almost dropped out in high school, I hated it so much. I never really thought seriously about what I would do for a job. I just couldn't wait to be home doing art and studying nature. An okay job came my way, briefly, after graduation, as a cartoon animator. I took a couple college art courses later, with no career in mind, just to improve as an artist. I did well but didnt enjoy the social aspect of that type of informal classroom/art studio. I married early (big-time fail) and my longest steady job then was in a factory, which was awful due to the people-aspect and low pay and long commute (I hate driving). Later, after being happily married I found being a homemaker/gardener and mom to be the most rewarding jobs, but I needed to help out with a paying job, too. I did some agricultural field work for a while, hard work and very low pay. But then a job as seasonal naturalist in a well-known resort was offered to me out of the blue. I enjoyed taking people on 6-mile nature hikes because I was knowledgeable in all the natural sciences, and I did this for almost 10 years. More recently I had various house-cleaning jobs, which I actually liked the most (working alone) until I had to stop due to major health issues a few years ago. I'm very happy now NOT having to work outside my home and can pursue my passionate interests. I didn't know I was autistic until 2 years ago at age 70. Looking back over the decades at all the difficulties I had "fitting in", from childhood on, the puzzle pieces that were "me" finally fit together.
There you go crossing out things Gwen. LOL Let me read the whole thing real quick before I comment...
Yes....I think nature is so therapeutic for autistic people. I love that that you notice the details and know the names of the, what I call "beautiful weeds," Art is wonderful, isn't it? It has brought me a lot of joy in life as well. I'm so glad you finally got the answers you needed! :)
@@autisticjenny I think I fixed it...I hope?
@@scherzo12222 it was no worries. I was just pickin on ya😆😁
@@autisticjenny I fixed it!
Living in the heart of bluegrass country, I loved your gardening music, Jenny!
When I added this track I thought to myself....Gwen is gonna love this. I do love good country (old country) and bluegrass. Can't help but tap my toes and move.
@@autisticjenny I'm still tapping my toes from it!!! Yes the 'old" country music was the best!
@@scherzo12222 i agree! Email me and let me know how you are doing since the grandkids visit
@@autisticjenny I will, Jenny! ☺
Haha, I just found it funny. I don't like country or not dislike, more it doesn't say anything to me (don't know an english phrase again).
But it just fit so good to the video.
Having peace regardless of what we do or where we live is true happiness. Thank you for your video. I live in a SW. I had family try to talk me out of it but as a single person, it’s what I knew I could manage (easier and less costly repairs). I live a fairly peaceful life with my pets and big doll collection. I live near the Appalachian Trail for beautiful walks. I have studied and was certified in several areas of interests but my job as a professional writer has kept me content for the last 25 years.
Thank you for sharing :) We can be content where we are. It's a state of mind. I bet that is a beautiful place to get out in nature. I think being a writer would be awesome. I think a lot of us dream of being our own boss or having our own business.
Thank you for this video! The past couple years have been a horrible experience for me at work. Just last week I smashed my laptop on my head and now the screen is unusable. Thankfully my job ends next week, so I’m looking forward to making sure I only end up in jobs that are things my autistic brain is good at. I did neuropsych testing and found out that my biggest cognitive problem is slow processing speed. Throughout all this I’ve realized it’s ok to not be ambitious. We should be more focused on having a happy and healthy life than being what other people view as “successful.” Autistic people often have to face this truth quicker than most people do.
Thank you for sharing. I too have slow processing speeds I have noticed. Yes, we should focus more on having a happy and healthy life. I totally agree. :) And you are right other people just don't realize what we go through daily. Wishing you the best!
I find human interaction, psychology, sociology very fascinating ... but also soooo very exhausting. The only social contacts I have is this cat TNR (trap, neuter, return) group but the messages in that group drive me crazy. I DO NOT get them. We are supposed to focus on catching these cats, making sure they are healthy and happy, but 90% of all talk is about something else. And the fake kindness ... I can't stand it either. I haven't worked in 10 years, I used to run on adrenaline of getting the job done (I love hard work, I find it very satisfying) but the human side and office politics would exhaust and burn me out in the end. Work is never JUST WORK, like it is for so many people. 😿
Thanks for sharing...I agree about the fake kindness as well.
It was very kind of you to offer what you were able to give in this moment. It was the perfect amount. I didnt notice that you didnt move (except to scratch your arm i think you wrote lol)
thank you Krista! :)
i really relate to you and im in the process of accepting myself since i lost the ability to mask anymore. It has been a roller coaster but this year i am finally learning to be content in my life. I am glad there is a community for NDs especially the over 30 late diagnosed! Thanks for this and I really resonated with your experiences! I didnt realize i was ND until after i had my first child and its been a massive shift in my life but im glad i can be a stay at home mom and also drive my fam places and keep up the house bc its something i am becoming great at! I too hated and loath the idea of " climbing the latter to success. It always felt like a big scam and people were extremely gaslighty if you so much question that notion. I am glad I am no longer around people like that sine many would give me a hard time not wanting to move past my cashier job. All the skills i did learn even if limited from past failed attempts to careers have come back when I needed them and I am forever grateful how far I have come and do not regret my life decisions. I did my best and finally finding peace at 33.
I just read read this and it was very touching to me. I appreciate this so much. I too struggle. There can only be a community if you, I and others are part of it. So thank you for being a part of it. I'm so happy to hear that you are accepting yourself. I too am on a journey to mask less and it is HARD. I've been doing this for 40 plus years. Being a mother, I think is one of the most important things we can do in life and not easy in itself. Thank you for sharing. :)
If you can't find contentment where you are you'll never find it. But yeah very important message about self acceptance and not beating yourself up for not being nt
Thank you Jenn....
So much here to relate to, Jenny. Doing the best we can do is enough. 🧡
thank you. :) I am enjoying your videos as well. I wish we had a support group for Content Creators. It's not easy. You are at the beginning of your journey and I"m routing for you. If you ever want to talk, my email is in my description I believe. I hope we become friends.
@@autisticjenny Aww, that's a lovely offer. Thank you - I hope so too 🧡
Trying to get on disability myself. Spent nearly 15 years simply existing as a a Walmart cashier, (Not knowing I was neurodivergent) becoming totally burned out in the process.
I've been unemployed since 2011, & trying to get on disability (have back issues as well) for years now.
I hope you are able to get that sorted out. I enjoy having an etsy shop as another income. I know some people have been able to get on disability that are autistic. I hope your back feels better. I used to have a lot of pain and my husband ordered the go kailo patch. I haven't had pain in 2 weeks now. It seems to really work for me.
Oh, I can SO relate! It is also frustrating when people you know make comments like, you did all that schooling to leave it, after just a year?
Well, the job was fine, it was all the political crap and misunderstood coworker dynamics….I get you!
Life is about more than a job that makes you want to just die…living is important! ❤️
Hi Ruth....haven't talked to you in a while. Glad to hear from you. :) Yes, life is more than a job. It took me a long time to figure that out.
I like the grey kitchen cabinets. I’m planning to paint mine that color.
You should! My 15 year old son painted ours. I love the color
@@autisticjennyprops to Your son!
@@katzenbekloppt2412 he's pretty amazing but also keeps me in check. If he feels like I'm on the computer to much, he'll let me know.
Youre gonna like it. I did this also a few years ago. The grey looks so nice on the kitchen. I also changed the knobs and got blue ones
@@etcwhatever I like the swedish-look and turned my old kitchen into this, with lightgrey walls in a chalk-colour look, the corner with the natural wooden table, bench and mixed old chairs had a wood-wall up to a bit more then middle which I colored pigeon-blue and then a small wooden shelf completly over it
from side to side.
Some very modern elements from Ikea in look-through plastic and metal, a wooden counter-top and my beloved fiftys-buffet in mixed pastels and grey I had since my first own flat.
I loved it! That was the two-room-apartment I shared as a single-mum with my son for the longest time. A room for each of us, a small chamber, that had been for the maid the time the houses were build around 1900 a small bath, this big kitchen we used also like a living room (in Germany flats don't have those big entrance combined living-room-kitchens normally). And nearly 10m balcony in front of all rooms up to mine. It had been my biggest apartment (nearly 80m2) and I am still sad we all had to move out after the complete house was sold. They completly re-designed it (New walls etc) and then sold the flats, that now lost all "old houses charme" very expensive.
Thanks Jenny! I love your channel and your community 😊
Thank you Liz! You have been here a loooonnng time! LOL :) Your channel is really growing too.
@autisticjenny Yes, you were one of the very first autistic creators that I found on CZcams. I've learned so much from you! Thanks for noticing and commenting on my channel growing too, yes I'm both surprised and delighted about it!! 😊 😊
I work in an office job, but my career is limited by not wanting to move up and increase my social presence with meeting after meeting. I try apply facets of my special interests (structures, creative solutions, critical analysis) in my day to day, and it does help me have a better direction.
i totally understand!
The plants grew a lot!
yes, they did. :) I picked my snap peas today. Will try to cook them.
Yes, amazing!
@@katzenbekloppt2412 thank you! Picked some sugar snap peas today😀
relatable :-)
Thank you🙂
what supplements do you take for social anxiety?
I take Valarian Root and a good Magnesium tablet. Just research and see what you can find. I have anxiety really bad but it seems to "nip it in the bud" more.
Also, went to school to be a paralegal. 0% paralegaling achieved.
Not paralegaling? I'm not socializing (social worker) LOL I just made that up.
My comment is somewhere....must have sent it as a reply. Hope you are able to find it!😮
Where did it go Lisa? I don't see it. It might have ended up under another comment....thanks for letting me know :)
@@autisticjenny I tried to find it, but I can't find my comment at all. It was about under achieving, and still being happy and grateful for all we have. Too many people over achieve and end up miserable. I don't think that a humble life should be considered under achieving. I am exhausted, so I hope that this comment makes sense. The other comment was better.❤️🙏❤️
reject toxic capitalism. you have a naturally calming voice and presentation. if you ever want to be a coach for autistic people, there is a great need for expertise, validation and reflective listening