Honestly I'll give people the silent treatment because if I'm mad at someone I need a minute before I talk to them or else I'm gonna say something stupid.
It's ok to take a break from talking, or say you need a minute to cool down or think about it. It's another thing giving them the cold sholder for prolonged periods of time because of something you're holding a grudge about. It's another thng ignoring them when theyr'e right there talking to you about something completely unrelated. Or even trying to be nice or apologize. Needing some time after a fight is okay. Just say that. It can be helpful to take some time to process your thoughts and emotions BEFORE you talk about the conflict again.
@@ChrisP.Bacon123 abusers know how to manipulate the people theyâre abusing because of that method and because we naturally crave love and admiration, we almost always want more
the "silent treatment" can also be a trauma response, being overwhelmed with confrontation or emotion can cause the body and mind to just go "yeah nah no emotions, no thoughts, lets just lockdown until it fixes itself :)" which is super frustrating
I got mad at one of my friends during spring break cause I realized he didn't really respect me, every time I talked he would always make jokes making fun of me, especially when other friends were around. It got to a point that one time we were all at a restaurant and we had to sit at different two seat tables. I can be social but most of the time I just dont really know what to say so I was quiet, so one of my other friends wanted to talk to people so he switched with the friend I got mad at. I realized in that moment once the seats switched and my friend openly complained in front of me how it wanted to sit somewhere else and only tried to converse with me once he realized he was stuck with me, and even that was just in a bored tone. I snapped, got really mad and just left. I didn't really know how to explaain myself because he is much better and explains himself in a much clearer way than I do. So for that next two to 3 weeks I didn't really talk much to him. I tried to explain on the trip, didnt work, and then once we got back we argued about it multiple times, and when i tried to explain, he never really got it. What made it worse was that there was a part of me that always believed that maybe I was wrong, and that I was just having a tantrum like he said. After these weeks we started becomign friends again. But he even admitted that he didnt respect me and the friendship never really got as strong as it was before. I knew I shouldve done more but I was too much of a coward. Later, we started talking less to each other, not ignoring but we would sit next to each other in class and do our own things except when one of us had a question. I really hope I give him the silent treatment cause Id be devastated. Anyways now we talk a lot more but I feel like maybe when I thought I was putting the foot down, maybe I was just having a tantrum that turned into the silent treatment. Anyways sry for writing so much, if anyone fully read this tysm.
THIS. Any kind of serious sounding fights that went on in my house growing up, early on I would come out of my room to see what was happening and catch shrapnel for just being there sometimes, or if I was involved directly from the beginning eventually everything shuts down because the first few times I did that it made the other person leave, so my brain said hey that works let's do that from now on. Now when stuff gets heated I have plenty of thoughts but they move so fast I can't put them into coherent sentences so even though I want to speak I just can't, and it pisses everyone off. I've been called childish and Autistic even by some friends because I cannot express how I feel easily or quickly. If they wound me up they should understand I need time to process what they bombed me with
@GeorgeHernandez-wq2rr theres a big difference between scowling at someone and refusing to talk to them, and disossiating and zoning out of reality for a while. but yes, purposeful silent treatment is about as gross as referring to women as "females"
Please note: not all of these things are done maliciously. Some people experienced this growing up from parents so they think itâs normal, some people only got affection and attention from their parents when they acted this way. This doesnât excuse the behavior, but keep this in mind.
When I was really small I used to call my mom âchatterboxâ as a joke. Well one day after coming back from school I was in a really good mood and I went to tell her about my day And she ignored me, gave me the silent treatment. After crying, bawling my eyes out and begging her on my knees to say something, she wrote on a piece of paper, Iâm not speaking cause according to you Iâm a chatterbox. Ps- my childhood wasnât very toxic, I had an okay upbringing, and was never deprived of anything. My mom was otherwise a great mother and loves me a lot
The silent treatment can also be a defense against toxic people, sometimes people do some obviously shitty things and it pisses you off so much you don't want to speak to them, not until they apologise at least.
Came to say things. Narcissists love confrontation sometimes. So they try to start a fight for what seems like no reason. But they want to fight so they can leave, love bomb you later, make you feel inferior so they can go into the next manipulated action towards you. So in defense, you have to just not feed into it. Ignore it. Give the silent treatment until they realize you already outsmarted them at their game. Silent treatment can truly be a defense against not normal ppl.
One time in high school a "friend" told me something that offended me and didn't apologise, so I decided to myself "I'm not saying a word to him until he apologises." We still saw each other on a daily basis. It took him an entire week to notice, and that's because I hinted at it
@@Itsamemel Exactly! When my more narcissist family get all argumentive I just shut it down and ignore them. It's part of how I also deal with people I dislike, typically bc of how they treat me. Non-interaction. If I want to make my day shitty I don't have to feed into their bs to do it.
@@owo_xanax5200 okay but this is exactly what she said in the video. did you ever sit down and say "hey X that you said offended me and if you don't apologize it is gonna be hurtful to our relationship?" you have the obligation to communicate that you were hurt, other people can't read your mind.
@@trippykay No, I didn't, because the point was for him to notice that I was ignoring him. I phrased that badly, but by "something that offended me", I meant that he completely lashed out at me out of nowhere, and then just went on about his merry day. I did not say a single word for a week and he didn't notice, let's not act like he cared okay? And I was planning on telling him once he noticed something, anything. But he didn't. In fact, once I told him why I was upset at him he claimed to not remember that event at all, when I have four people confirming that it did happen the way I remember it
I say never mind a ton, but not intentionally. I have a huge problem with not thinking before speaking at all. Sometimes I have to stop myself before saying something really dumb, so I just say never mind
I unintentionally do the silent treatment. I'm either afraid of hurting them again, or its one of those times where I can't speak because I feel so guilty and pressured.
Yeah same, I just feel so irritated that I know if I open my mouth I'll say something hurtful, so not saying anything is better than saying something I'll regret later
Awesome thing about silent treatments and cold shoulders, when you have siblings you ignore it. I had a co-worker who was upset with something I said. Gave me the silent treatment and when she was done told me what was up. Then followed it up with "that's why I gave you the silent treatment", my response was " oh, I didn't notice. Having sisters you ignore it." Then walked away.
As an introvert who dislikes people and gets happy when people leave me alone. I just know I'm never falling for manipulative people's BS. I never care enough about them and it's actually a problem my friends had with me but I'm fixing it for my friends and the manipulative one's just gave up on me.
icl the pettiness towards Mattie is what Iâm living for rn edit: lol get ur popcorn for the argument and yes, I believe Mattie cheated on bella edit 2: all yâall switchin sides rq now that Mattie came out w their âapologyâ
@@paniniprincess5211Your so lucky you didn't get the silent treatment from your Mom though. My mother was toxic I got it on the regular, even at times when I hadn't done anything wrong.
Literally me, I completely freeze for minutes on end and sometimes even hours! I canât move, speak or make any sign that Iâm in reality and I donât know why đ But my brother be that one sibling whoâs always arguing back
the silent treatment is kind of a reaction or coping mechanism for me. if iâm so upset with someone and their bothering me/trying to talk to me instead of screaming and possibly doing something stupid i just choose to use the silent treatment as a form of self control until iâve calmed down/ found a way to respond
Then you should say: "I'm still mad, just give me a minute." _Never_ ignore someone completely. My mom did this to me in response to a harmless joke of mine. She ignored me for days and it was heartwrenching. It guilted me into apologizing over and over again until she decided she had punished me enough. The silence treatment is incredibly dehumanizing, especially when someone's clearly confused and is eager to make it up to you. If you need some time alone, at least tell them.
@@sakurafalls2468 yeah i suppose thatâs a good response. i have plenty experience with being on the poor side of the silent treatment. as someone with anger issues, itâs very hard to think rationally or communicate in a civilized manner. iâll try to take your advice though
When you like someone you will try to validate their actions. This is why so many people stay in toxic relationships; because they assume the best in the person they like.
The silent treatment thing needed to be talked about. Itâs a horrible and childish thing to do to someone. I had a friend that would get mad and me and ignore me but never tell me why and I feel into the trap every time and we were best friends for maybe eight years and then finally she told me she didnât want to be friends anymore after eight years of me trying to be enough for her. But in the long run Iâm so glad she cut me out because I finally met my true people who love me for me and communicate their feelings.
That hurts, it's designed to hurt. Please don't let that person win by letting it hurt you. When my husband does this to me I've learned to embrace it and realize that not hearing him talk is a giftđ
Dam. I got the same treatment basically but she was my friend of four years And then she never told me why she didn't wanna be my friend she just ghosted me and then told my other friends that I was "too clingy" or "too annoying" and "the conversation got too dry"
dang. I had a friend like that, too. if I did one thing that she didn't like, she would cut me out of the friend group for a few days, and no one would be allowed to talk to me. i was young and dumb and let this persist for a year until I transferred schools and was done with it.
The only person I really considered my best friend because they were the only friend I consistently hung out with when I was younger used to use all these tricks on me and as soon as it stopped working I never heard from them again. Growth hurts.
â@@taylorbrowning3297 I got what we called in the 2000's "iced out" by like 12 female friends all at once in 10th and start of 11th grade. I had put on some weight as a side effect of a medication, and developed low self-esteem so I often lied to, idk... seem more interesting? And people can pick up on it when someone is full of shit and it is DEFINITELY not "cool" to be a liar. I didn't realize I was that obvious until YEARS later. Anyway, I am over 30 and that ice out by my "friends" at 16/17 STILL stands in my top 3 of worst life experiences. (And I have been through some serious shit. Still top 3.) It was the worst feeling ever. I dreaded school. I cried in the bathroom. I was heartbroken, really. If anyone's still reading this, after winter break in 11th grade and through 12th all the way to graduation I was re-accepted by the group. I had returned to a low weight and had made BFFs with a "loner" type girl who my "popular" crowd never paid attention to. She was such a more mature, interesting person than those girls who iced me then "took me back" when I lost weight AND (in hindsight) I had not just lost weight but had completely decided fuck those girls, I will be myself and do shit my way and spend time on my interests, cool or not. (đ Again in hindsight, they "took me back" mostly because people-pleasing liars are annoying and the people who are ACTUALLY the best are people who are themselves and never, ever apologize for it.)đą Sorry you're dealing with this. I wish so badly I hadn't re-joined that crowd (I even dragged my new friend in to this clique of shallow bitches. Regret!) because those people had never been my real friends. I was leery of them for sure but I unfortunately bowed to high school clout and forgave them. Forgave. Not forgot. Today I am facebook friends with some of them. But not one of those 12 girls even makes top 100 on my list of good friends at different points in my life. When I got very sick a few years ago, the flowers that came to the hospital were never from any one of those high school "friends". Still reading? Damn! Thanks! I know I wrote a lot and probably nobody cares, lol. But maybe somebody will read my words and feel a little better? That's what I'm going for, really. â€â€â€â€â€ BE YOURSELF! FIND REAL, MORE INTERESTING FRIENDS! FUCK THOSE BITCHES! OMG THEY ARE *NOT WORTH IT!* I PROMISE!
Sometimes my bff gives me silent treatment for no reason, so I act like she just didnt hear me or just pretend to not notice that shes not talking to me. Works like a charm!
Bro I kinda needed 2 hear that cause itâs been so hard lately to figure my life out so itâs actually kinda helpful to know what toxic or manipulative traits to avoid
Don't worry you are not manipulative đ Here's what other meanings these tricks holds 1st trick could mean that they don't trust you enough or someone told them not to tell but have no control over their mouth 2nd trick could mean that they want to be left alone for some time to think or they want other person to take initiative 3rd trick that's just lack of interaction Here's some positive meaning behind dark psychological tricks âš
NGL the funniest thing(to me) was my narcissistic ex trying to punish me with the silent treatment then getting mad because I was like "idgaf I don't wanna talk to you anywayđ€·đ»ââïžđ"
@@Something125_ I know it doesn't, and I'm not going to sit here and type out every reason he was a narcissist, you're just gonna either believe me that he was or not, either way is for you to deal with. Not me.
I think I did the 'love bombing' on a few of my friends subconsciously... I was also kinda depressed at that time so I would ignore them then talk to them like nothing ever happened with compliments and all close & stuff. I eventually cut them out because I realized I was just using them whenever I needed attention... I'm trying not to do that with people nowadays because someone in a close circle of friends did that to me and it was a horrible taste of my own medicine which gave me a wake up call to not do that to other people.
I think one thing people need to realize about manipulation is that it has to be intentional. The first one could be a bit tricky, because that person might've rethought what they were about to say and change their mind. It doesn't always mean they're trying to string you along, unless there was a strong motive behind it
I do the first one all the time unintentionally because I have a habit of not thinking before I speak then halfway through speaking I realise it's stupid and I say nevermind
@@Theothevaultscribe "characterized by malice; intending or intended to do harm." The literal DEFINITION of malicious, which effectively means "meaning to do something with knowledge and intent of harming somebody." While the definition of manipulation doesn't actively say anything about intent, when it comes to people, it's only manipulation (The act of controlling or messing with someones head to hurt them or benefit yourself) if you intend to do it, if you were to accidentally do these things, even the last one, it would be ignorant and bad, yes, but not manipulation due to a lack of malicious intent. For you to even suggest that the intentions aren't important when it comes to the literal definition of the word malicious, as well as the topic of manipulation, is probably the most ignorant thing I've ever heard, because of the fact I learned all of this in under two minutes by google searching, y'know, the thing you're probably using right now? You didn't even attempt to use the resources you had at hand and ended up being so wrong it's hilarious. To sum this all up, manipulation has to be intentional, without malicious intent, that is, direct intent to harm somebody for your own benefit or even just because, it is not manipulation, instead just ignorant. Read a dictionary, please.
i didnt even realized i was being love bombed until a week after i broke up with an ex, and i was always saying it was my fault for becoming the toxic one in the relationship.
I think we need to emphasize the difference between silent treatment and processing/ stepping away. The first, like you said, is a petty punishment because they don't want to deal with their own feelings. The second is stepping away for a moment from a situation when emotions are high and you need time to cool down and think rationally. As someone with a processing disorder, the second one is important for me because I can't even process what people are saying when tensions get that high and I need to cool off. My mom would constantly try and follow me when i needed to cool off and it ended up giving me many panic attacks and I felt like I was a cornered animal. So again, one is manipulative, one is necessary for some people
i had the same experience growing up. i have so many memories of arguments leading to me barricading myself in a bathroom with my headphones in while she would bang on the door and scream...
I remember growing up, my toxic mom would always give me the silent treatment. Eventually I learned to act like nothing was wrong and talk like normal, even though I wanted to cry
â@@luckycorn8590 he started having seizures he is on some meds and had some scans done I think they are just waiting on results. It was on the story a bit ago.
Pro-Tip: If someone likes you you can basically be as manipulative and toxic as you want. If you do the push-and-pull method but come up with excuses like "I just needed to work on myself" or "I've just been busy" they will 100% buy it. When you like someone you won't assume bad things about them, and you will try to validate their actions yourself.
About the silent treatment, when I'm in a really bad mental state, for example having an anxiety attack (I have diagnosed anxiety), sometimes I can go completely silent (I think it's called non verbal in this case?) because I'm just not functioning enough to be able to talk. And I get scared that people will think I'm being mean to them, when in reality I don't WANT to do that. And they try to make me talk by asking questions and I just can't answer and it makes me feel worse. Depending on my state, I can write or type, though. But it's a huge fear of mine that people will think I'm purposefully giving them the silent treatment and trying to guilt-trip them or something, ESPECIALLY when it's someone I love and care about. I don't know how to deal with that. Any advice?
@@sharwari362 yeah, but sometimes the person wants an immediate response and I'm never sure of what to do. But if it's a short crisis that is a good idea, that's what I usually do (distance and try to stop alone then go back to explain)
Was she the one doing all the house work while hearing complains about it all and it got to the point were she just gave up on all of you? That has happened with my mom and I had to learn how to cool and clean after myself because of it but I'm glad I did.
iâm just realising someone is doing that âlove bombingâ to me rn, but not on purpose. idk what to cuz iâve been feeling like shit lately but we both like each otherâŠ
Maybe talk to them about it and tell them to cut it out and if they continue again then cut them out. Don't ever give people more than one or maybe two chances.
Thank you Bella It's so important to raise awareness and call out people's toxic narcissistic behaviors so that people can be aware of the toxic person in their lives
Uhh, wasnt this video about how to manipulate someone? That shit is dark and harmful so i think its bad to post this becuz pepole can use this to hurt others. Something inside of me is screaming that this shuldnt be allowed on apps where kids are waching
â@@sirius767 It goes both ways If you wanna be manipulative or be aware of manipulation this video will help either way But I think Bella just intends to help others since she got cheated on and manipulated by her ex recently
@@sirius767 She is saying : "Here's some psychology tricks that you need to be aware of " And I understood it as "Be aware if someone ever use these tricks on you" I agree with you that people may misuse this video but I don't think that's her intention (Just my opinion)
Love bombing is a combination of things like: false promises/future faking, bombarding you with texts/calls/ always around you after the first interaction, wanting to move in or moving in very fast. Saying i love you or I miss you too fast. Very quickly over a week/s or months they switch up on you. Huge red flag is if they say they were with someone 2 weeks ago or a month .They become the opposite of what they showed you in the beginning. This is linked with narcissism. Thereâs more to love bombing but those are the main things I can think of. Experienced this twice. Both ended in a disaster. To say the least.
love bombing is generally mis comuication or a guys really into a girl she shows some interest so he keeps giving her affection she doesn't seem to enjoy so he dissappears the cycle repeats till he reliases she cares about attention not him as a person
@@austinwight1107 if you think love bombing is a miscommunication then you have been wrongly informed. As someone whoâs experience this. Definitely not a miscommunication. You are either intentionally or unintentionally invalidating the experiences of people like myself.
I never realized âsilent treatmentâ was a bad thing like that. I do it myself but itâs not something I do very often, I usually only do it whenever something overwhelms me and I just have no clue what to say or do
I discovered how to battle the silent treatment at seven. My dad would say "I don't want to talk to you ever again" and then go quiet. He would repeat that same sentence throughout the day to remind me that hevs giving the silent treatment. I would respond with "I didn't talk to you. You're talking to me" and then I would give the silent treatment back to him and every time he says don't talk to me I'd go "You're the one talking to me" and he'd get so pissed offđ
đ that funny man Yo I'm pretty sure my parents do this. It's like I remember I made my dad mad at me for one sentence I was joking. So he just kept staring at me across the room like "you know what you did." Look.
Can I just say i really love the illustrative camera movements that come with *give it away, take it back, take it away give it back* idk why it's just soo satisfying that i rewatched at least 5 timesâ€â€
Whenever people give me the silent treatment (which happens a lot for some reason) I just keep talking to them. They eventually have to tell me to be quiet, therefore not being silent anymore. They fall for it every time.
I had a client (Iâm a cashier) that did that whole âlove bombingâ thing but in a platonic way. Like one day they were all friendly and talkative and every time they saw me theyâd come up to me and have small talk (which I hate, but I put in effort after warming up to them). This lasted for a couple of months until one day it just stopped. When theyâd see me, Iâd be hyped and then they were just âhello.â [transaction complete] âok, thanks. Bye.â Left me extremely confused. Thought they had a bad day, but that continued for the next couple of times I saw them. They tried to be nice and friendly again later, but I just kept my distance from them. Since then, whenever I see them, itâs like I see another stranger. No special treatment.
@@paniniprincess5211 I wouldâve thought that as well if they didnât have a reputation for doing that with every other employee at the store. I had been warned about that, but they seemed cool to me so I decided to ignore what was said about them, only for the exact. same. thing. to happen to me as a new employee got hired.
A friend of mine got in a fight with a boy and he started ignoring both me and the friend (even though I had nothing to do with it). I'm known as being a very nice person, so I just continued to treat him the way I usually do, like saying thank you, politely apologizing for things, and greeting him when I see him. I didn't push for a conversation but also didn't ignore him. He soon came to the conclusion that I didn't hate him just because my friend did and actually started talking to both of us again. I highly recommend doing this, it works really well (if you do it right).
I had a friend who would be laughing and shoving me of ledges one day and then ignoring me and scoffing at every little thing I did the next, and it absolutely shredded me to bits to the point where I was balling my eyes out saying things like, âI donât know what I did wrongâ, â I promise I didnât mean to hurt anyoneâ and stuff like that. Luckily Iâve kind of blocked him out of life even if heâs still always there with my friends constantly, I just have to go hang out with other friends now. :)
Sometimes I get so excited to tell someone that I remind myself before I tell them but the start up is exactly like the one you said was stringing people along
@@alliara289 I definitely have grown since then. I don't exactly forgive them for it, but I dont hate them either. I can spend my energy better elsewhere. No worries đđ»
When I was a younger (4-6 i cant remember exactly) everytime I was bad my father would give me the silent treatment, he would not talk to me or even acknowledge me (no feeding me, helping me with anything, yk providing their young child with the things a parent should) he would do it for multiple days in a row.
My friend does the 2nd one, but she's an amazing and kind and caring person who has a bad home life and it's hard for her to communicate her emotions sometimes, like you said. Obviously the silent treatment can be used on purpose as a form of manipulation, but sometimes it's subconscious and the person doing isn't trying to go about it maliciously.
so the thing for the silent treatment is that i only do it for when i donât want to explode on ppl so i end up just shutting up and not speaking. then iâll usually say smth later when im in a better mood. just wanna say that :)
Yup i totally get what you mean as i have a friend like that but please try to avoid this. Telling this as someone who receives this kind of treatment (my friend is exactly like how you described), most of the time it's better to explode and let the other person know what's going on rather than not tell it and make that person confused. Also don't take this to heart, this is just my opinion
@@Sanika253 im trying to get better at it but everytime i do explode i end up losing my friend so i just keep quiet and seethe silently until im in a better mood
Silent treatment is not talking to them at all and wait till they talk to you. If you eventually talk to them you are not silent treating them. You just waited for a better moment and that's not bad at all, I think. I have the same thing, exploding and stuff. So I usually walk away or it will get bad. đą And that only makes me sad afterwards. So I wait until a better moment.
@@mywarriorworld No me neither. But sometimes you have to face the conflict. And if you, me or our friends can't handle the conflict someone will get pissed. That can not always be avoided. Or am I wrong?
âWhen someone gives you the silent treatment just ignore themâ One of my friends best friends started ignoring her for being ârudeâ but she didnât do anything because I know sheâs a kind sorta shy and a bit sensitive person but her best friend since before kindergarten is giving her the silent treatment and my friend is really taking it hard sadly thank you for hearing me out about this I donât mean this in anyway shape or form of hate I just wanted to say what happened and how sometime it doesnât work
Oh my goodness no but the âsilent treatmentâ was used on me by my ex-best friend all the time when we had an issue, she'd just ignore the problem when I just wanted to talk about it. I didn't ignore it, for once I stood up for myself and I avoided her and made new friends. Life is good now.
Got the silent treatment from a shitty friend. I decided I was tired of trying to fix the issue through actual communication so I just ignored it and carried on with my day. Couple hours later and she was acting like nothing happened. We didn't stay friends long after that
Sometimes people are quiet simply because they don't want to make things worse by lashing out instead of gathering your thoughts and having a healthy conversation. It's not about punishment for a lot of people.
In that case they can communicate that they need space to gather their thoughts and that they will come back to have a mature conversation/discussion about what happened, thatâs different from just going silent and ghosting the other person for a while and not addressing the problem
@@ZehraShafqat sometimes its a form or self defence, like im not gonna talk to you, who's always hitting my head and punching me whenever i talk, until I feel safe to talk to you.
Man some of my friends would be like ânahh I donât think I should tell youâ which did make me be like âwait tell meâ and shit, mainly cuz Iâm a really curious person đ I hate when people do stuff like that tho itâs annoying at times
Lmao, my ex played the âlove bombingâ trick on me. Before we got together, he would give me lots of attention and treat me like a princess, then when he asked me out he started to slowly disappear and ghost me, then the next day he talks to me, disappear, talks to me.. over and over againđ
The silent treatement is actually a good method to get someone else to communicate I have a very traumatized family that tends to manipulate or shout around when they dislike certain behaviours instead of communicating what they want in a healthy way At the same time they expect others to not take the fact that they mistreat you to heart (e.g. they'll get angry when you tell them that you disliked the way they treated you earlier) I use the silent treatement AFTER I communicated what I wanted and that I disliked the way they treated me If they refuse to acknowledge my feelings and their own behaviour (9 out of 10 times) I simply take away my attention and time for them to show them that the way they treat me is not a way anyone should be treated They ignore it for a good week until they cave and ask me why I ignore them I answer truthfully and explain that when they treat me so and so, I have no tolerance for that That's when they usually start explaining their feelings and their thoughts and that's really the only way I can ever get them to communicate without insulting me or letting the whole neighbourhood know I see nothing wrong in that
When you realise all these things are happening to you by someone you love :( i'm so sorry bella for the pain u went thru but u already seem stronger than before mattie
"but I'm just giving you space so you can calm down" no you're not. You are ignoring me until I'm willing to talk to you about you again. Those are not the same.
Dang that's the perfect way of explaining the silent treatment- I do it almost every day. The other person usually tries talking to me but I don't respond and I just wait until they crack enough to come back to me. I try to say no but my people pleasing ass forgives them for all the crap they did
âwhen someone punishes you because they canât communicate their own feelingsâ
iv never heard that put better tbh
My bestfriend did that to me for almost an year... we have not talked to each other for a month.
â@@the_richcat Frankly if that's your "best friend"... she's not really one is she?
The way I experienced this recently and to hear the words phrased perfectly. Yupp. And ignoring them really did make them talk eventually
Honestly I'll give people the silent treatment because if I'm mad at someone I need a minute before I talk to them or else I'm gonna say something stupid.
It's ok to take a break from talking, or say you need a minute to cool down or think about it. It's another thing giving them the cold sholder for prolonged periods of time because of something you're holding a grudge about. It's another thng ignoring them when theyr'e right there talking to you about something completely unrelated. Or even trying to be nice or apologize. Needing some time after a fight is okay. Just say that. It can be helpful to take some time to process your thoughts and emotions BEFORE you talk about the conflict again.
"I'll send you lovebombs after the war" hits different now đ
AHH THIS WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT LMAO
Skull
I love that jacket that she has, I wonder where it's from?
â@@some0ne56 me too all her clothing is amazing
that was the first thing I thought aboutđ
That last one is literally a discription of addiction
Cause it is. Thats one of the reasons why its so hard to leave someone abusive. Your brain literally become addicted.
@@ChrisP.Bacon123 abusers know how to manipulate the people theyâre abusing because of that method and because we naturally crave love and admiration, we almost always want more
the "silent treatment" can also be a trauma response, being overwhelmed with confrontation or emotion can cause the body and mind to just go "yeah nah no emotions, no thoughts, lets just lockdown until it fixes itself :)" which is super frustrating
I got mad at one of my friends during spring break cause I realized he didn't really respect me, every time I talked he would always make jokes making fun of me, especially when other friends were around. It got to a point that one time we were all at a restaurant and we had to sit at different two seat tables. I can be social but most of the time I just dont really know what to say so I was quiet, so one of my other friends wanted to talk to people so he switched with the friend I got mad at. I realized in that moment once the seats switched and my friend openly complained in front of me how it wanted to sit somewhere else and only tried to converse with me once he realized he was stuck with me, and even that was just in a bored tone. I snapped, got really mad and just left. I didn't really know how to explaain myself because he is much better and explains himself in a much clearer way than I do. So for that next two to 3 weeks I didn't really talk much to him. I tried to explain on the trip, didnt work, and then once we got back we argued about it multiple times, and when i tried to explain, he never really got it. What made it worse was that there was a part of me that always believed that maybe I was wrong, and that I was just having a tantrum like he said. After these weeks we started becomign friends again. But he even admitted that he didnt respect me and the friendship never really got as strong as it was before. I knew I shouldve done more but I was too much of a coward. Later, we started talking less to each other, not ignoring but we would sit next to each other in class and do our own things except when one of us had a question. I really hope I give him the silent treatment cause Id be devastated. Anyways now we talk a lot more but I feel like maybe when I thought I was putting the foot down, maybe I was just having a tantrum that turned into the silent treatment. Anyways sry for writing so much, if anyone fully read this tysm.
THIS. Any kind of serious sounding fights that went on in my house growing up, early on I would come out of my room to see what was happening and catch shrapnel for just being there sometimes, or if I was involved directly from the beginning eventually everything shuts down because the first few times I did that it made the other person leave, so my brain said hey that works let's do that from now on. Now when stuff gets heated I have plenty of thoughts but they move so fast I can't put them into coherent sentences so even though I want to speak I just can't, and it pisses everyone off. I've been called childish and Autistic even by some friends because I cannot express how I feel easily or quickly. If they wound me up they should understand I need time to process what they bombed me with
@GeorgeHernandez-wq2rr theres a big difference between scowling at someone and refusing to talk to them, and disossiating and zoning out of reality for a while. but yes, purposeful silent treatment is about as gross as referring to women as "females"
@@Luna_Koboldi think theyâre a troll, they keep posting that same reply on a ton of other comments
@GeorgeHernandez-wq2rrmales be like communication is key but make fun of women for sharing feelings
Please note: not all of these things are done maliciously. Some people experienced this growing up from parents so they think itâs normal, some people only got affection and attention from their parents when they acted this way. This doesnât excuse the behavior, but keep this in mind.
Can't believe i was doing the last one with my friend... unintentionally đą
I do all of these a lot-đ now I know why I do it unintentionally
When I was really small I used to call my mom âchatterboxâ as a joke.
Well one day after coming back from school I was in a really good mood and I went to tell her about my day
And she ignored me, gave me the silent treatment. After crying, bawling my eyes out and begging her on my knees to say something, she wrote on a piece of paper, Iâm not speaking cause according to you Iâm a chatterbox.
Ps- my childhood wasnât very toxic, I had an okay upbringing, and was never deprived of anything. My mom was otherwise a great mother and loves me a lot
Either way, it's best to distance yourself from manipulators if they refuse to get help for it, or if they don't try to make it right
I used to do the silent treatment bc my parents always did it and then put it as âI just didnât want to talk to you.â
The silent treatment can also be a defense against toxic people, sometimes people do some obviously shitty things and it pisses you off so much you don't want to speak to them, not until they apologise at least.
Came to say things. Narcissists love confrontation sometimes. So they try to start a fight for what seems like no reason. But they want to fight so they can leave, love bomb you later, make you feel inferior so they can go into the next manipulated action towards you. So in defense, you have to just not feed into it. Ignore it. Give the silent treatment until they realize you already outsmarted them at their game. Silent treatment can truly be a defense against not normal ppl.
One time in high school a "friend" told me something that offended me and didn't apologise, so I decided to myself "I'm not saying a word to him until he apologises." We still saw each other on a daily basis. It took him an entire week to notice, and that's because I hinted at it
@@Itsamemel Exactly! When my more narcissist family get all argumentive I just shut it down and ignore them.
It's part of how I also deal with people I dislike, typically bc of how they treat me. Non-interaction. If I want to make my day shitty I don't have to feed into their bs to do it.
@@owo_xanax5200 okay but this is exactly what she said in the video. did you ever sit down and say "hey X that you said offended me and if you don't apologize it is gonna be hurtful to our relationship?" you have the obligation to communicate that you were hurt, other people can't read your mind.
@@trippykay No, I didn't, because the point was for him to notice that I was ignoring him. I phrased that badly, but by "something that offended me", I meant that he completely lashed out at me out of nowhere, and then just went on about his merry day. I did not say a single word for a week and he didn't notice, let's not act like he cared okay? And I was planning on telling him once he noticed something, anything. But he didn't. In fact, once I told him why I was upset at him he claimed to not remember that event at all, when I have four people confirming that it did happen the way I remember it
Iâd like to see two people who memorized all of onlyjayusâ videos trying to manipulate each other
Best psychology trick is to answer "what?" To your friends questions/statements. Makes them rethink their sentence and you know the context of it.
the first one is so true. people be like âactually- nevermind..â and iâm just like âokay.â like man iâm not gonna do this with you đ
Lmao I used to let people do that to me but then I got used to it so I stopped giving in
I say nevermind sometimes and I actually mean it, and when people are like âWhat?â I relent and end up explaining even though I didnât want to.
I honestly hate when they do that and I stay like TELLLL MEEEEEEE
ikr đđ
I say never mind a ton, but not intentionally. I have a huge problem with not thinking before speaking at all. Sometimes I have to stop myself before saying something really dumb, so I just say never mind
I unintentionally do the silent treatment. I'm either afraid of hurting them again, or its one of those times where I can't speak because I feel so guilty and pressured.
@GeorgeHernandez-wq2rrstereotypical women
â@GeorgeHernandez-wq2rrstfu. Gender doesn't matter here buddy
Yeah same, I just feel so irritated that I know if I open my mouth I'll say something hurtful, so not saying anything is better than saying something I'll regret later
@@vnkn0wn_vSeR-420 You can communicate that. Tell them that you need some space because you are angry / irritated and do not want to act irrationally.
I shut down when I'm upset sođ
Awesome thing about silent treatments and cold shoulders, when you have siblings you ignore it. I had a co-worker who was upset with something I said. Gave me the silent treatment and when she was done told me what was up. Then followed it up with "that's why I gave you the silent treatment", my response was " oh, I didn't notice. Having sisters you ignore it." Then walked away.
As an introvert who dislikes people and gets happy when people leave me alone. I just know I'm never falling for manipulative people's BS. I never care enough about them and it's actually a problem my friends had with me but I'm fixing it for my friends and the manipulative one's just gave up on me.
icl the pettiness towards Mattie is what Iâm living for rn
edit: lol get ur popcorn for the argument and yes, I believe Mattie cheated on bella
edit 2: all yâall switchin sides rq now that Mattie came out w their âapologyâ
same
80 likes in 20 minutes lucky asf
icl? sorry im dumb
@@tomrii = i cant lie :)
@@tomrii i can't lie i'm pretty sure
Ah the Silent Treatment, the most lethal form of anger of any Mother.
Omg I hated that. I mean I've never got the out right silent treatment from my mom but I picked up those habits from her I hate myself for it.
@@paniniprincess5211Your so lucky you didn't get the silent treatment from your Mom though. My mother was toxic I got it on the regular, even at times when I hadn't done anything wrong.
I only ever got silent treatment once (I don't even know what I did to annoy her that much)
I legit started crying cuz of it lol
Literally me, I completely freeze for minutes on end and sometimes even hours! I canât move, speak or make any sign that Iâm in reality and I donât know why đ
But my brother be that one sibling whoâs always arguing back
Bro đ yes
the silent treatment is kind of a reaction or coping mechanism for me. if iâm so upset with someone and their bothering me/trying to talk to me instead of screaming and possibly doing something stupid i just choose to use the silent treatment as a form of self control until iâve calmed down/ found a way to respond
Then you should say: "I'm still mad, just give me a minute." _Never_ ignore someone completely. My mom did this to me in response to a harmless joke of mine. She ignored me for days and it was heartwrenching. It guilted me into apologizing over and over again until she decided she had punished me enough. The silence treatment is incredibly dehumanizing, especially when someone's clearly confused and is eager to make it up to you. If you need some time alone, at least tell them.
@@sakurafalls2468 yeah i suppose thatâs a good response. i have plenty experience with being on the poor side of the silent treatment. as someone with anger issues, itâs very hard to think rationally or communicate in a civilized manner. iâll try to take your advice though
holy shit that last thing has actually been happening to me, i never really even noticed it until you explained it and i was like "relatable"
When you like someone you will try to validate their actions. This is why so many people stay in toxic relationships; because they assume the best in the person they like.
The silent treatment thing needed to be talked about. Itâs a horrible and childish thing to do to someone. I had a friend that would get mad and me and ignore me but never tell me why and I feel into the trap every time and we were best friends for maybe eight years and then finally she told me she didnât want to be friends anymore after eight years of me trying to be enough for her. But in the long run Iâm so glad she cut me out because I finally met my true people who love me for me and communicate their feelings.
That hurts, it's designed to hurt. Please don't let that person win by letting it hurt you. When my husband does this to me I've learned to embrace it and realize that not hearing him talk is a giftđ
I hope we can find a way to detect toxic people sooner
Dam. I got the same treatment basically but she was my friend of four years
And then she never told me why she didn't wanna be my friend she just ghosted me and then told my other friends that I was "too clingy" or "too annoying" and "the conversation got too dry"
dang. I had a friend like that, too. if I did one thing that she didn't like, she would cut me out of the friend group for a few days, and no one would be allowed to talk to me. i was young and dumb and let this persist for a year until I transferred schools and was done with it.
the silent treatment isn't abuse or childish if someone doesn't want to discuss their feelings u have no right to their feelings it's not ur business
The only person I really considered my best friend because they were the only friend I consistently hung out with when I was younger used to use all these tricks on me and as soon as it stopped working I never heard from them again. Growth hurts.
Ahahahaha. I'm laughing at myself .
Me tooooooo.
My best friend even told me , everyone asks why I hang out with you and I tell them I don't know
@@proanimaluver6487 I guess my "best friends" new friends asked them that too and they decided there was no reason so they stopped inviting me đ
Same man, it's painful
Same đ„Č
â@@taylorbrowning3297 I got what we called in the 2000's "iced out" by like 12 female friends all at once in 10th and start of 11th grade. I had put on some weight as a side effect of a medication, and developed low self-esteem so I often lied to, idk... seem more interesting? And people can pick up on it when someone is full of shit and it is DEFINITELY not "cool" to be a liar. I didn't realize I was that obvious until YEARS later.
Anyway, I am over 30 and that ice out by my "friends" at 16/17 STILL stands in my top 3 of worst life experiences. (And I have been through some serious shit. Still top 3.) It was the worst feeling ever. I dreaded school. I cried in the bathroom. I was heartbroken, really.
If anyone's still reading this, after winter break in 11th grade and through 12th all the way to graduation I was re-accepted by the group. I had returned to a low weight and had made BFFs with a "loner" type girl who my "popular" crowd never paid attention to. She was such a more mature, interesting person than those girls who iced me then "took me back" when I lost weight AND (in hindsight) I had not just lost weight but had completely decided fuck those girls, I will be myself and do shit my way and spend time on my interests, cool or not. (đ Again in hindsight, they "took me back" mostly because people-pleasing liars are annoying and the people who are ACTUALLY the best are people who are themselves and never, ever apologize for it.)đą
Sorry you're dealing with this. I wish so badly I hadn't re-joined that crowd (I even dragged my new friend in to this clique of shallow bitches. Regret!) because those people had never been my real friends. I was leery of them for sure but I unfortunately bowed to high school clout and forgave them. Forgave. Not forgot.
Today I am facebook friends with some of them. But not one of those 12 girls even makes top 100 on my list of good friends at different points in my life. When I got very sick a few years ago, the flowers that came to the hospital were never from any one of those high school "friends".
Still reading? Damn! Thanks! I know I wrote a lot and probably nobody cares, lol. But maybe somebody will read my words and feel a little better? That's what I'm going for, really. â€â€â€â€â€
BE YOURSELF! FIND REAL, MORE INTERESTING FRIENDS! FUCK THOSE BITCHES! OMG THEY ARE *NOT WORTH IT!* I PROMISE!
Sometimes my bff gives me silent treatment for no reason, so I act like she just didnt hear me or just pretend to not notice that shes not talking to me. Works like a charm!
Bro I kinda needed 2 hear that cause itâs been so hard lately to figure my life out so itâs actually kinda helpful to know what toxic or manipulative traits to avoid
I do all that UNCONSCIOUSLY, then question why I attract unwanted attention. đđđ
samee đ
Ok now it makes sense why I have zero friends
Samee
Same. Itâs especially the last one for me. I didnât realize I even did that until I looked back on itâŠ
đ€
This is what the people need to hearâŠso many people are manipulated and broken by stuff like this
Don't worry you are not manipulative đ
Here's what other meanings these tricks holds
1st trick could mean that they don't trust you enough or someone told them not to tell but have no control over their mouth
2nd trick could mean that they want to be left alone for some time to think or they want other person to take initiative
3rd trick that's just lack of interaction
Here's some positive meaning behind dark psychological tricks âš
Onlyjayus: **telling us about how easy it is for people to manipulate you.**
Dogs in background: mUsT FeAsT On FacE
Jayus teaches me something new everyday
i read that as jesus
â@@s1mp259 I know it's Jayus but I do the same everytime. đ
yeah
NGL the funniest thing(to me) was my narcissistic ex trying to punish me with the silent treatment then getting mad because I was like "idgaf I don't wanna talk to you anywayđ€·đ»ââïžđ"
HEY UHH- ya dropped this đ
How were they narcissistic?
@@Something125_ he was a narcissist, for starters.
@@lola_love444 that doesnât give any indication as to why youâd say that.
@@Something125_ I know it doesn't, and I'm not going to sit here and type out every reason he was a narcissist, you're just gonna either believe me that he was or not, either way is for you to deal with. Not me.
The hot and cold one (or 'love bombing') has literally happened to all of us atleast once. And it fucking WORKED
As someone who had a relation with a narcissist duting 10 years, I've suffered all of them multiple times. Also the gaslighting.
Got the silent treatment for a week and a half, she got her stupid friends to harass me đđ
Both her and her friends sound dumb
That sucks man,
I hope you're ok though.
If its fine to ask, did her friends stop harassing you?
Idc if your parents said never hit a girl go off on that b tch she deserves it
Wow... I am at a loss for words. I hope you're okay after being harassed đą
@@iirein_iv after like 4 days yes đ
Please be aware that almost nobody is doing this consciously. They learn the behavior from others and think it's normal and then it becomes habit
This right here
accurate broski
Adults knows what their doing stop the cap
This. Im greatful this comment is here. Hurt people hurt people.
@@XXXBish adults also do things subconsciously!
I think I did the 'love bombing' on a few of my friends subconsciously... I was also kinda depressed at that time so I would ignore them then talk to them like nothing ever happened with compliments and all close & stuff. I eventually cut them out because I realized I was just using them whenever I needed attention... I'm trying not to do that with people nowadays because someone in a close circle of friends did that to me and it was a horrible taste of my own medicine which gave me a wake up call to not do that to other people.
Not the dogs in the beginning đ
I think one thing people need to realize about manipulation is that it has to be intentional. The first one could be a bit tricky, because that person might've rethought what they were about to say and change their mind. It doesn't always mean they're trying to string you along, unless there was a strong motive behind it
I do the first one all the time unintentionally because I have a habit of not thinking before I speak then halfway through speaking I realise it's stupid and I say nevermind
Itâs still malicious to do it, regardless of the intentions behind it, and technically still manipulative
@@Theothevaultscribe thatâs literally not how malicious intent or manipulation works. U /literally/ need the intent
@@Theothevaultscribe "characterized by malice; intending or intended to do harm."
The literal DEFINITION of malicious, which effectively means "meaning to do something with knowledge and intent of harming somebody."
While the definition of manipulation doesn't actively say anything about intent, when it comes to people, it's only manipulation (The act of controlling or messing with someones head to hurt them or benefit yourself) if you intend to do it, if you were to accidentally do these things, even the last one, it would be ignorant and bad, yes, but not manipulation due to a lack of malicious intent.
For you to even suggest that the intentions aren't important when it comes to the literal definition of the word malicious, as well as the topic of manipulation, is probably the most ignorant thing I've ever heard, because of the fact I learned all of this in under two minutes by google searching, y'know, the thing you're probably using right now? You didn't even attempt to use the resources you had at hand and ended up being so wrong it's hilarious.
To sum this all up, manipulation has to be intentional, without malicious intent, that is, direct intent to harm somebody for your own benefit or even just because, it is not manipulation, instead just ignorant.
Read a dictionary, please.
â@@Theothevaultscribe Are you a Hamilfan?
i didnt even realized i was being love bombed until a week after i broke up with an ex, and i was always saying it was my fault for becoming the toxic one in the relationship.
Push and pull is like drug addiction, just realizing that
Love bombing is no joke man, fell into a very bad relationship because of that crap. Never wanna deal with it again.
I think we need to emphasize the difference between silent treatment and processing/ stepping away. The first, like you said, is a petty punishment because they don't want to deal with their own feelings. The second is stepping away for a moment from a situation when emotions are high and you need time to cool down and think rationally. As someone with a processing disorder, the second one is important for me because I can't even process what people are saying when tensions get that high and I need to cool off. My mom would constantly try and follow me when i needed to cool off and it ended up giving me many panic attacks and I felt like I was a cornered animal.
So again, one is manipulative, one is necessary for some people
Well said
i had the same experience growing up. i have so many memories of arguments leading to me barricading myself in a bathroom with my headphones in while she would bang on the door and scream...
I remember growing up, my toxic mom would always give me the silent treatment. Eventually I learned to act like nothing was wrong and talk like normal, even though I wanted to cry
Literally my entire relationship with my ex girlfriend summed up in one short
honestly love the great danes in the background of the beginning đ
Can we talk about how cute her dogs lookâ€
Hope astro is better nowđ«đ€
What happened to him đ
â@@luckycorn8590 he started having seizures he is on some meds and had some scans done I think they are just waiting on results. It was on the story a bit ago.
Iâm Astro -
Why are you misgendering him?
Jayus didnât you tell us thatâs how to get someone to like you đđđ
Yeah, but they said they were only teaching it so we were aware & knew what red flags to look out for, this being one of those red flags.
If u do this ur a walking red flag, and it wonât be long till everyone knows
She also said don't do it. Because it's toxic.đ
Skull emojies
Pro-Tip: If someone likes you you can basically be as manipulative and toxic as you want. If you do the push-and-pull method but come up with excuses like "I just needed to work on myself" or "I've just been busy" they will 100% buy it. When you like someone you won't assume bad things about them, and you will try to validate their actions yourself.
the dogs in the background of the intro
i canât lmao đđ
ASTRO WAS LITERALLY EATING NOVAS FACE LOL
If I could, I would straight up hug jayus. She seems like she could use the help
True. The best way to make someone feel stupid is by ignoring them whenever they act stupid lol.
The dogs just going wild in the back. đ
She just dropped the best loop ever and thought we wouldnât notice
About the silent treatment, when I'm in a really bad mental state, for example having an anxiety attack (I have diagnosed anxiety), sometimes I can go completely silent (I think it's called non verbal in this case?) because I'm just not functioning enough to be able to talk. And I get scared that people will think I'm being mean to them, when in reality I don't WANT to do that. And they try to make me talk by asking questions and I just can't answer and it makes me feel worse. Depending on my state, I can write or type, though. But it's a huge fear of mine that people will think I'm purposefully giving them the silent treatment and trying to guilt-trip them or something, ESPECIALLY when it's someone I love and care about. I don't know how to deal with that. Any advice?
Have some water at the time .... and then after you are out of that phase go to that person and have a real one on one conversation
@@sharwari362 yeah, but sometimes the person wants an immediate response and I'm never sure of what to do. But if it's a short crisis that is a good idea, that's what I usually do (distance and try to stop alone then go back to explain)
My mother once gave my dad, my brother and myself the silent treatment for 6 months. It was hell.
God sakes, what on earth đ did you do to deserve that?
6 months?! Why would she
WHY? what happened for that outcome to occur?
Was she the one doing all the house work while hearing complains about it all and it got to the point were she just gave up on all of you? That has happened with my mom and I had to learn how to cool and clean after myself because of it but I'm glad I did.
The dogs in the background trying to swallow each other's heads đ
I was not aware that I was a manipulative person. Will try to work on that
iâm just realising someone is doing that âlove bombingâ to me rn, but not on purpose. idk what to cuz iâve been feeling like shit lately but we both like each otherâŠ
Maybe talk to them about it and tell them to cut it out and if they continue again then cut them out. Don't ever give people more than one or maybe two chances.
Thank you Bella It's so important to raise awareness and call out people's toxic narcissistic behaviors so that people can be aware of the toxic person in their lives
Uhh, wasnt this video about how to manipulate someone? That shit is dark and harmful so i think its bad to post this becuz pepole can use this to hurt others. Something inside of me is screaming that this shuldnt be allowed on apps where kids are waching
â@@sirius767 It goes both ways
If you wanna be manipulative or be aware of manipulation this video will help either way
But I think Bella just intends to help others since she got cheated on and manipulated by her ex recently
@@roserousan6411 Then wuldnt she say something like âthis is how to tell if someone is trying to manipulate youâ ?
@@sirius767 She is saying : "Here's some psychology tricks that you need to be aware of " And I understood it as "Be aware if someone ever use these tricks on you"
I agree with you that people may misuse this video but I don't think that's her intention (Just my opinion)
@@roserousan6411 Okay, you are probably right. Have a good day!
The dogs fighting at the start was so cute
the silent treatment one actually works.
*Me now rethinking my whole life because my friend does exactly whatâs described as âLove bomingâ đł
Love bombing is a combination of things like: false promises/future faking, bombarding you with texts/calls/ always around you after the first interaction, wanting to move in or moving in very fast. Saying i love you or I miss you too fast. Very quickly over a week/s or months they switch up on you. Huge red flag is if they say they were with someone 2 weeks ago or a month .They become the opposite of what they showed you in the beginning. This is linked with narcissism. Thereâs more to love bombing but those are the main things I can think of. Experienced this twice. Both ended in a disaster. To say the least.
love bombing is generally mis comuication or a guys really into a girl she shows some interest so he keeps giving her affection she doesn't seem to enjoy so he dissappears the cycle repeats till he reliases she cares about attention not him as a person
@@austinwight1107 thatâs false. Love bombing is an abuse tactic of a narcissistic person or narcissist. Its toxic.
@@austinwight1107 if you think love bombing is a miscommunication then you have been wrongly informed. As someone whoâs experience this. Definitely not a miscommunication. You are either intentionally or unintentionally invalidating the experiences of people like myself.
I never realized âsilent treatmentâ was a bad thing like that. I do it myself but itâs not something I do very often, I usually only do it whenever something overwhelms me and I just have no clue what to say or do
The silent treatment is how I stopped talking with people lmao
I discovered how to battle the silent treatment at seven. My dad would say "I don't want to talk to you ever again" and then go quiet. He would repeat that same sentence throughout the day to remind me that hevs giving the silent treatment. I would respond with "I didn't talk to you. You're talking to me" and then I would give the silent treatment back to him and every time he says don't talk to me I'd go "You're the one talking to me" and he'd get so pissed offđ
đ that funny man
Yo I'm pretty sure my parents do this. It's like I remember I made my dad mad at me for one sentence I was joking. So he just kept staring at me across the room like "you know what you did." Look.
Bella thank you. i needed to hear this
"Push and pull method"
Well I have nobody that loves me, Ima start using that-
Can I just say i really love the illustrative camera movements that come with *give it away, take it back, take it away give it back* idk why it's just soo satisfying that i rewatched at least 5 timesâ€â€
Whenever people give me the silent treatment (which happens a lot for some reason) I just keep talking to them. They eventually have to tell me to be quiet, therefore not being silent anymore. They fall for it every time.
... I think they just don't like you
@@haidesxaoc7727 That would explain it. Too bad I'm terrible at picking up social cues lol
Why did I remember that one video telling us to actually Use love bombing to get someone to fall in love with usđ
Not the dogs casually fighting in the background đ
Can confirm ignoring the silent treatment works, it took 4 days but in the end they chose to instigate conversation.
the first and last one hit hard
I had a client (Iâm a cashier) that did that whole âlove bombingâ thing but in a platonic way. Like one day they were all friendly and talkative and every time they saw me theyâd come up to me and have small talk (which I hate, but I put in effort after warming up to them). This lasted for a couple of months until one day it just stopped. When theyâd see me, Iâd be hyped and then they were just âhello.â [transaction complete] âok, thanks. Bye.â Left me extremely confused. Thought they had a bad day, but that continued for the next couple of times I saw them.
They tried to be nice and friendly again later, but I just kept my distance from them. Since then, whenever I see them, itâs like I see another stranger. No special treatment.
No clue not making any excuses (probably am) What if they were going through something at that time? Since the change happens drastically
@@paniniprincess5211 I wouldâve thought that as well if they didnât have a reputation for doing that with every other employee at the store. I had been warned about that, but they seemed cool to me so I decided to ignore what was said about them, only for the exact. same. thing. to happen to me as a new employee got hired.
I was given the silent treatment after I said no to a toxic friend.
A friend of mine got in a fight with a boy and he started ignoring both me and the friend (even though I had nothing to do with it). I'm known as being a very nice person, so I just continued to treat him the way I usually do, like saying thank you, politely apologizing for things, and greeting him when I see him. I didn't push for a conversation but also didn't ignore him. He soon came to the conclusion that I didn't hate him just because my friend did and actually started talking to both of us again. I highly recommend doing this, it works really well (if you do it right).
I had a friend who would be laughing and shoving me of ledges one day and then ignoring me and scoffing at every little thing I did the next, and it absolutely shredded me to bits to the point where I was balling my eyes out saying things like, âI donât know what I did wrongâ, â I promise I didnât mean to hurt anyoneâ and stuff like that.
Luckily Iâve kind of blocked him out of life even if heâs still always there with my friends constantly, I just have to go hang out with other friends now. :)
Sometimes I get so excited to tell someone that I remind myself before I tell them but the start up is exactly like the one you said was stringing people along
Person:"*giving the silent treatment*"
Me: about damn time.
I love how this is just a description of the plot of Othello, start to finish
Ahhh, we love the push n pull method. The love bombing. That was a truly horrible relationship that I'll never forget back to
Forgive them bro U can grow đȘŽ
@@alliara289 I definitely have grown since then. I don't exactly forgive them for it, but I dont hate them either. I can spend my energy better elsewhere. No worries đđ»
Ohh that's good bro am glad to hear that developed đđ
Kinda feel that you came out of experiencing a relationships with a narcissist and now also learning about the whole NPD. Really happy for you :))
Omg the dogs fighting at the beginning đ
When I was a younger (4-6 i cant remember exactly) everytime I was bad my father would give me the silent treatment, he would not talk to me or even acknowledge me (no feeding me, helping me with anything, yk providing their young child with the things a parent should) he would do it for multiple days in a row.
My friend does the 2nd one, but she's an amazing and kind and caring person who has a bad home life and it's hard for her to communicate her emotions sometimes, like you said. Obviously the silent treatment can be used on purpose as a form of manipulation, but sometimes it's subconscious and the person doing isn't trying to go about it maliciously.
so the thing for the silent treatment is that i only do it for when i donât want to explode on ppl so i end up just shutting up and not speaking. then iâll usually say smth later when im in a better mood. just wanna say that :)
Yup i totally get what you mean as i have a friend like that but please try to avoid this. Telling this as someone who receives this kind of treatment (my friend is exactly like how you described), most of the time it's better to explode and let the other person know what's going on rather than not tell it and make that person confused. Also don't take this to heart, this is just my opinion
@@Sanika253 im trying to get better at it but everytime i do explode i end up losing my friend so i just keep quiet and seethe silently until im in a better mood
Silent treatment is not talking to them at all and wait till they talk to you. If you eventually talk to them you are not silent treating them. You just waited for a better moment and that's not bad at all, I think. I have the same thing, exploding and stuff. So I usually walk away or it will get bad. đą And that only makes me sad afterwards. So I wait until a better moment.
@@AngelBabeXD yea. same. i mean i donât want my friends to get pissed off
@@mywarriorworld No me neither. But sometimes you have to face the conflict. And if you, me or our friends can't handle the conflict someone will get pissed. That can not always be avoided. Or am I wrong?
The first one is also accidentally used when someone thinks they were going to say something stupid but already started saying it
The last one happened to me, my classmate did it, I'm fully aware of it but still plays along anyway, but instead in the end they got mad at me đż
âWhen someone gives you the silent treatment just ignore themâ
One of my friends best friends started ignoring her for being ârudeâ but she didnât do anything because I know sheâs a kind sorta shy and a bit sensitive person but her best friend since before kindergarten is giving her the silent treatment and my friend is really taking it hard sadly thank you for hearing me out about this I donât mean this in anyway shape or form of hate I just wanted to say what happened and how sometime it doesnât work
I actually used one of these tactics today to avoid a confrontation
one of my "friends" got mad at me because i didnt notice he was giving me the silent treatment
Oh my goodness no but the âsilent treatmentâ was used on me by my ex-best friend all the time when we had an issue, she'd just ignore the problem when I just wanted to talk about it. I didn't ignore it, for once I stood up for myself and I avoided her and made new friends. Life is good now.
Got the silent treatment from a shitty friend. I decided I was tired of trying to fix the issue through actual communication so I just ignored it and carried on with my day. Couple hours later and she was acting like nothing happened. We didn't stay friends long after that
Sometimes people are quiet simply because they don't want to make things worse by lashing out instead of gathering your thoughts and having a healthy conversation. It's not about punishment for a lot of people.
In that case they can communicate that they need space to gather their thoughts and that they will come back to have a mature conversation/discussion about what happened, thatâs different from just going silent and ghosting the other person for a while and not addressing the problem
@@ZehraShafqat sometimes its a form or self defence, like im not gonna talk to you, who's always hitting my head and punching me whenever i talk, until I feel safe to talk to you.
WE MAKIN IT OUT THE MOTORCYCLE WITH THIS ONEđŁđŁđŁđŁđŁđŁđŁđ„đ„đ„đ„đ„đ„đ„
Man some of my friends would be like ânahh I donât think I should tell youâ which did make me be like âwait tell meâ and shit, mainly cuz Iâm a really curious person đ I hate when people do stuff like that tho itâs annoying at times
The fact I do âinsinuationsâ and âsilent treatmentâ unknowing Iâm using dark psychology đđ
Lmao, my ex played the âlove bombingâ trick on me. Before we got together, he would give me lots of attention and treat me like a princess, then when he asked me out he started to slowly disappear and ghost me, then the next day he talks to me, disappear, talks to me.. over and over againđ
Good for you that he's an "ex" now
The silent treatement is actually a good method to get someone else to communicate
I have a very traumatized family that tends to manipulate or shout around when they dislike certain behaviours instead of communicating what they want in a healthy way
At the same time they expect others to not take the fact that they mistreat you to heart (e.g. they'll get angry when you tell them that you disliked the way they treated you earlier)
I use the silent treatement AFTER I communicated what I wanted and that I disliked the way they treated me
If they refuse to acknowledge my feelings and their own behaviour (9 out of 10 times) I simply take away my attention and time for them to show them that the way they treat me is not a way anyone should be treated
They ignore it for a good week until they cave and ask me why I ignore them
I answer truthfully and explain that when they treat me so and so, I have no tolerance for that
That's when they usually start explaining their feelings and their thoughts and that's really the only way I can ever get them to communicate without insulting me or letting the whole neighbourhood know
I see nothing wrong in that
I go silent when i am:
1:simping (ya i know dont bully me)
2:overestimated
When you realise all these things are happening to you by someone you love :( i'm so sorry bella for the pain u went thru but u already seem stronger than before mattie
"but I'm just giving you space so you can calm down" no you're not. You are ignoring me until I'm willing to talk to you about you again. Those are not the same.
My cats will give me the silent treatment then just start screaming at me to give them snacks.
@@mypimento thereâs nothing more true than this
Dang that's the perfect way of explaining the silent treatment-
I do it almost every day. The other person usually tries talking to me but I don't respond and I just wait until they crack enough to come back to me. I try to say no but my people pleasing ass forgives them for all the crap they did